4bsolute

Wondering how many of you actually had self experience and not simply repeat information. "Hey look, this is my information!" - I have to meditate on this behaviour, because I hold it myself. And I dont see it as beneficial anymore. Everyone in your close vicinity can feel if you only radiate thoughts or actual multi-levelled life-experience.

yes, correct. primordial light gets increased and radiates up, you see more "light". that means the subtle worlds are exposed. and to be precise it is your light that you see "in people". you can only perceive "on the outside" what you have already uncovered in / about your self. thinking requires tension. release all tension and there is no more thinking. the ego is one tension. come out of deep meditation and think one thought, you will notice the tension in your upper stomach, solar plexus region.

Why do you care? if "they" do not want you, why do you want to convince "them" otherwise. If you feel offended, then good job, you have discovered parts of your subconscious mind that you do not like yourself. Live by the notion of "What bothers me, controls me." and let it go. I understand it and I choose to not live this way, so "It is not part of me, bye." I told a family member yesterday that a certain chemical from grains contributes to teeth decay. And that it might be in relation to the person's now missing teeth. Shortly after saying this simple thing I was attacked for offending and saying that I have always something to critizise. While I was saying in a calm manner the obvious truth: Relation between the individuals love to eat products made from grain and the newly removed molars, 4 in number, which got infected magically at the same time. ? You see, it is all a matter of how one perceives things.

Dreaming/dreams are constructed of the subconscious mind held in your throat space. Lucid dreaming is playing in this space, like a child in a sandbox. This is not reality. Reality starts when you enter your first subtle body and perceive more of your total Self.

There is such a thing. But it is different than you might expect it to be. It is neutral. Neutral means that it is void of both positive and negative aspects of creation. Umsankar has released his very first book about self-realization with the help of our Sun. It contains practices and theory on how to meditate with the Sun. Equal to Tögal, an ancient Buddhist practice. He shares information he was taught, by the universal intelligence in direct experience through the Sun, that the body also has a Black Hole. And that the body contains every part of the entire universe of course, as some of you might already be conceptionally aware of. And this Black Hole is our center. It is what I have previously written about, called our Spiritual Heart. I was interested about the immense and actual fantastic amount of food I could eat during my beginnings of Qigong... nobody could really explain it. "My" Black Hole was the reason for it. And if you can still find the related thread I wrote about it, I was asking if the energy center behind our stomach was actually related to a Black Hole. Coming from the fact that I ate Huge loads of food and remained lean, even had still hunger after I was finished. I was intentionally connecting my digestive tract with my Heart Space. Umasankar gives information how the Black Hole on the Earth was created: "The planets in the solar system travel in their respective orbits and do not cross each others path. Planets travel separately but if they are in a line, a super-magnetic power will be generated along the line. When a planet cuts across this line, this interface will become the black hole of that planet. Similar to the Bermuda Triangle, if any air or spacecraft traverses this line, it will break into the five elements and vanish [...] There are seven energy centers or Chakrs in the body and each of them rotates at its own space and place. They are not similar but if the Sadhak - through concentration - can bring the chakras into a straight line, tremendous magnetic energy can be produced and it is at the centre of the Anahata where the influence will be at its maximum. Anahata is the most important Chakra, it is at the center of all seven Chakras and it is a neutral Chakra." What essentially happens as we bring our attention to the Sun, into the Sun and through it into the Universe and into all Creation, is that the exact same happens with us and this body. Everything happens by itself, everything is free and does not cost anything and the ultimate protection is given right from the very first moment: The neutralizer, God is known again and from there Creation starts Consciously! in all layers of our Self. Which he explains are 14 positive Chakras and 14 negative Chakras. All equally experienced through our Core. The effects of this placeless place I can not put into words. Please, see for yourself, by either meditating on it or direct communion with the Sun. On a personal note: For me it is very easy to do this with the Sun, because I never had any negative feedback with the Sun. And since traumatic experiences have left me when I was out of my teenage years, I never had any moment again where it was uncomfortable to look into the bright Sun. Years later I then discovered Sungazing. Lifechanging. And on a sidenote if you are interested in the book, which cheap prize can not compare to what it actually contains and prepares you for, please see here.

You already are unified. Rise above the solar plexus and you can perceive this in much greater ways. Such texts then become obsolete, you will know from which age they derive from and most importantly at what stage the consciousness of the author then was.

yes I can relate to the isolation of certain muscles. but not to use them solo, rather then having all at my conscious proposal. when you work with your behind (and I admit I never did) beautiful things happen in terms of how "grounded" you feel and better stability you get. this is great! also you feel more "man"

Yes and there is no need for secrecy or mystery if all is truly accessible by anyone. That is where the Sun comes into play: It is accessible by anyone. The only obstacle a mind can create that has interest in manipulation is instilling confusion in a form of fear over such live-giving principles, like the Sun. You see this in all aspects of our modern live, individuals seperate more and more and this creates more and more problems. When you know you can regenerate and heal very fast through unification, you are no longer interested in any separative motif. Oh the relationship between earth, us, sun and the universe is really not difficult. Once we understand more of ourselves, things on the outside become evidently clear. When you know what to do, go towards unification, you have a much easier time just observing what is going on with all he other struggling individuals in lower dimensions and even can possibly assist if it is needed. But the higher you go, the deeper you will go aswell. This is true. So we as individuals will discover greater hells as we will discover heavens. But each step gives us lessons out of which we emerge greater. Each positive aspect of a chakra has a negative aspect (here called Rhodak) to it, to balance. Negative emotions are said to stop above the Heart / Anahata level. I am not aware yet how "darkness" or "negativity" is then perceived at that level above and below. It could be just perceived as "necessary to balance out", just like plants need sunshine and rain to grow equally beautiful. Just in greater / detrimental ways. But I put a big question mark here. PS: This has nothing to do with primarily wanting to discovering one's true self behind the I am, it will lead eventually there but as soon as we use and live in concepts such as "unification" .. "separation" is automatically applied. The light behind the Self is free from both qualities.

Imagination is utilizing your subconscious mind. To transcend the subconscious mind, one goes in meditation down from the conscious waking mind (behind eyes) down through the throat, which holds the subconscious and dreaming mind into the heart space. Through this one enters "nothingness" and with enough letting go (not focus) one discovers it's first light, which is revered to one's soul. This state then lets one Consciously bring one's soul up into one's conscious waking mind and create from this place, without further having the filter of the subconscious mind active. The subconscious mind with the uncontrolled thought pattern is usually the barrier for all practitioners, for one wants to control these thought structures. And so the waking mind gets active again and you go actually up into your head again instead of going down into your chest. Reason: identification. The longer one remains in pure consciousness and not utilizes (neither changes, simply lets it be) the subconscious, the more it gets purified to an extend where it will dissolve. People call this "not thinking" - but this alone does not transcend the subconscious mind. It might automatically over a very long time, but that requires to discard and not pay attention to Any thought that pops up Including thinking consciously. Transcending does entering pure consciousness and bringing this light up in ones waking mind (enlightenment). One can call this mastery of the human state. And this is just the beginning. I would love to tell you that I am there, I am surely in one of my future Selves, but as you can see this Self is not yet merged with it. I am researching my subsconious mind at the moment. That includes emotional mastery and the one of thought. With this information given here I am forwarding Lincoln Gergar's research on the Self, which seems the most reasonable for my own approach.

is all that there is, aside pure consciousness. there are extreme ways of ego and there are okay ways of ego and there are ways of the ego which strives for holism. holism would be everything and nothing at the same time. without ego, there would be no creation. The entire I am experience, is ego. I wanted to write the above and you see I actually did. But everytime I find myself wanting to debate what is ego and what not, a silent knowing overcomes me and just wants to delete it. Not because it could be / is wrong, but because there is nothing to talk about. You experience it, you dont make threads like this any more. You know. When you know, there is nothing to speak. You will be asked and you will answer. May I ask you, why are you interested talking with other egos about a possible reality free from ego? There are no answers.

To be honest I would not rely on any text these days. Correction: It has essentially no meaning what information you intake, if your consicousness is not close or at the source of all that is. the point is not the information, the point is how expansive your consciousness is. You can say this is the main reason of misunderstanding. Not what information you take in, but how many "dots" you can connect to perceive the biggest picture. Our so called "informational age" is one big chaos. Regardless of what information you currently seek, you will only understand a fragment. And that means you will not undertand it. It has been written many times that the further we are away from our center, we hear/see (etc) not correctly. For you it will sound normal, but you will make many many mistakes on the way. You will have doubts, there will be discussions etc. This is all not there anymore the closer you are. Reconnect to your Primordial Intelligence, which is connected to all Intelligence in Existance. By doing so you will get answers directly without having countless middlemans (human history). And if you still want to read, with this intelligence you can read kindergarten-books and understand alchemical principles "hidden" in there. You will look at hieroglyphs and understand them in an instant. Because at "the point in time" where they were written you have been "there" aswell. And this is no joke, this is real. Increase this impersonal awareness (your consciousness) and through whatever you look at, you see fundamental connections of Life. Without a doubt, pure and direct. Why do I put this into " bla " ? Especially the stuff with "time"? Because consciousness is timeless. So you can access information at any given "point". The more you can bend your personal mind to be in all things (just assume it for the beginning) as consciousness, the sooner you will tap more into all that is and understand everything. No more books, no more internet, and esp no more teachers needed. So far for theory, now for practice. Source: Coming from my own life experience in approaching Life by consuming loads of information, making so many mistakes, confusing my self to a point of sheer hopelessness that literally Everthiny is possible (digesting acid and being healthy, etc and seeing that ecologically grown food is poision as contrast - mind is everything) and then dropping this attitude and actually increasing my consciousness (the container for said information) and therefor purifying my being to the best possible. Result, understanding things I have not even asked for. Being able to explain people things I have not even prepared for. "Man this guy is cool, I want to be able to do that too!" Yeah sure, that guy is you / I am you.

yes, if you live in a cave and dont want to participate any longer in this world, all of that applies how would you relate to other individuals from a point of assumed non-individual? in essence, yes, to know the mind (which is the self) one has to go beyond the mind. but what point is it to chat about it all the time, there is no "gain" in it. there is no need for chatting about it when you have been there and any chat will not bring you there. only to the edge of it, but not actually there. the ultimate gain is to have been in this stateless state and come back. and then to lower one's self and talk about it / radiate it. go in meditation with your conscious through your subconscious into your void state. Or at least touch it "slightly". Or at least get out of your conscious mind into the subconscious where you have no more control. And then come back out here into this world and tell us how it feels. I see the stage inbetween as the most difficult. Not really the stage of not being there or how to get there or when actually being in it. The stage inbetween, especially when being in the subconscious leaves you completely puzzled and your ego is on the way to be "shattered". It is so easy to adopt multiple-personalities on this way, when you not continuously go further and further into your Heart. There are so many individuals just talking and having philosophical chats about "how it is / could be" but have they actually been there? No. The good thing is, that once you have been there, or deeper inside on the way to "there" and came back out, you can distinquish any ego from non-ego or having only a tiny ego very effortlessly. Just like when your throat is clean and you have no interest in telling lies anymore, for you know what it does with your energies, you can pickup lies so easily. The tough part might then be not get convinced by the other person lying ontop that s/he was not lying, but is just too embarassed to admit it. Of course that again is all subject to the sensitivity / intelligence of the perceiver. And also, you can not talk about no-mind / ego with any ego, if it is not willing to venture in this direction. For example wanting to talk about benefits of no ego and how much pain the ego actually creates. All ears are like "What, you talking to me? What do I do wrong?" lol. Any ego sees all the negative aspects in this talk and will not have any interest communicating with you further. ESPECIALLY problematic do I currently see that we here in the West or countries where we are for ourselves, not in religious or spiritual communities yet and discover all of that by our selves. When we come into the stage of feeling we are not relating anymore, my self experienced it as truly nasty. I felt like whatever I am about to experience next and whatever problems might occur, I am so completely alone. I could talk to a human mind, even my own parents, and they could not help me. A friend of mine, connected on facebook, wrote me the same. It's a stage somewhere between subconscious mind (throat) and heart. It is the end of all ends and the beginning of all beginnings. That is why being with one's self and not talking about so important. Having the ultimate faith in one's self being in all things and coming back stronger than ever before. Thank God I am so thankful for Lincoln for providing a map towards the heart in several of his videos that actually works with my self experiences and questions I had.

Kundalini is feminine. And every night Kundalini rises and we have an OBE. this happens every night. If we can perceive it consciously or not. Call it primordial intelligence, yes. The only thing that makes the difference is how far we can perceive it consciously.

It is one gigantique video game. And I am glad I have experienced video games for how Life's intelligenc teaches fundamentals through everything, wether it be you selling hot dogs or working in an office in a skyscraper. Wether you are a monk or a pimp. If you are interested in learning fundamentls, Life teachings you it everywhere, regardless of your surrounding. All the beings you encounter, all the interactions with humans, animals, plants, maybe non-physical beings are for the most part all NPCs. NPC is a term taken out of video games and means "Non-player character", a character set into the world with certain day and night duties which should give the idea of continuous lifecycle. If you choose to ask him why he does it, he will answer you with a generic "I dont know, well it feels right / good." This can be understood as the subconscious mind. A gigantique recording of everything that ever happens and has every happend and out of which the NPCs "intelligence" is puzzled together to give the idea of an intelligent being. It is controlled by thoughts and emotions. All here is in essence truly one paradise in which you are getting handed everything, what you want to have. If you can not see this yet, then you are not paying correct attention to certain parts of your life or live out of alignment. In essence all is set so that you are satisfied with everything you always want to have. Regardless of what it is. The waking conscious mind is like the actual player in the video game, discovering what is there to be discovered and experiencing all the possible experiences. When seemingly all is experienced or enough ignorance is accumulated, the player wishes to change the game. And life gives it a new game, the player stranded again on the "tropical isle" with complete memory loss (of so called "previous lifes") and learns all basics again so he can continue his "epic adventure" one more time. It is mindblowing how many similarities there are between actual developed games, coming from the subconscious ideas of the developers and actual "human life". The similarities are so equal it makes this life at some points a complete farce... That is the case because the mind became so conscious that it discovers the looping nature of the subsconious mind and that he sees "I am not that", so s/he wants to discover who s/he really is. And at that point one will actually reveal that ALL of what happens here in this world is one gigantique "I press this button and I see what happens" game. One action followed by a reaction. Always. And that is why every individual becomes manipulative at some point, because s/he feels that s/he was "manipulated" the entire time by the game itself so it's one big payback game. Of course this doesnt last for long eather because the reaction of this great pain that s/he attracts in return and so many realizations follow and one actually finds interest in the greater picture and eventually bring harmony to oneself and ultimatelly to "everyone else". So when I change myself my entire reality shifts. "You" from your perspective will possibly read this with your ego and think "wait how can he do it? If he can do it, he will affect my reality aswell?" Yeah.. we can not really talk in this way because we want to talk on equal dimensions of being "the only I that there is and ever will be" to understand this. You can see it as infinite multiple realities crossing eachother in which you are the author. In the end of all ends and the beginning of all beginnings: I am the only one who ever existed and will ever exist. Does this sound sad? Yes it does, for the human mind. For some reason. I want to ask myself, "David why does this sound sad? Have you ever experienced it directly?" - "No, not yet. Oh maybe I did but I cant precisly remember it right now. Lets continue..." That was I talking to I. Not very different as you talking to "someone else". It just gives the impression of being less of a depressive situation. Have you ever faked own likes on facebook or other community sites to "look better to others"? Now you feel like God all the time^^ and see I, as God, can even laugh about it. Because all is filtered through total bliss and so all of this here is meaningless. Edit: And VERY important at the same time Satsang with one's self is such a beautiful yet strange thing... See you.

I am also not a fan of forcing. I have had so many convincing moments due to meditation and a "higher" spiritual lifestyle with how less force I got soo much in return I wouldve otherwise never gotten a fragment of using greater force. And a friend of mine cycles his energy by completely letting go into his female partner, without ejaculation, full orgasm in all parts. This truly is mastery. Of course there is no more fear of ejaculating because the nature of the mind (and it's regulating powers etc) is then understood.

This is exactly it, Tony. I have experienced the rising of this energy above my sexual region. And it felt like I couldnt hold it there. It was in my stomach. It felt very "new" and very, very, very tingly. The main issue I currently have is how I can remove the sensations of my genitals into another area. I know when to stop. But even when only having my mind (!!) in that region, triggers an overload. The smallest touch, even just the pants going over that location, is enough to cause it. But this was never an orgasm, this was a very aroused energy. I suggest more practice and "figuring out a way". The thing with this practice is just that it can reeeally take time (or not, depends on individuals capacity of paying attention to what goes on) because of the usual recovery of the orgasm and what else you have in mind which requires "spiritual energy" which is pretty much every of higher evolution. In my experience you can also "copy" the sensation you have in a certain region of your body "e.g orgasmis feeling, prior to orgasm" into your brain. We dont have to be linearly with this, I believe it works non-linear without having to be in a certain "set of locations, one after the other to reach an end". And yes I have also experiment with digesting my own semen again. It truly can be felt and experienced as a full course meal as how it saturates and boosts energy. But I am not completely sure about the re-absorption. Many thanks. Yes but this goes prior to everything we then want to do and requires preparation. I see it if we do let things untouched, the energy is used for child-creation. And only after a certain bio-rhythm / period of I believe 3 or 6 months? It will be "registered" as not used and things change by themselves. But I believe this can be altered (surely) with intent of wanting to know one's true Self with this practice. Like in all creation you need a proper reason to do something or it barely or never works. It works like a proper foundation where I then get the feedback of "Okay just give me anything" and then "Okay I/we can work with that, lets start"

Why wouldn't "I" want that? Orgasm is the very energy with what you create with, in all levels of your existance. This energy feels different in each "chakra" and provides a different and unique experience in each layer. I would contemplate about the statement you have just made.

Where is the difference between subconscious and unconscious? And can you experience the unconscious mind? If so, how would you explain it? We can already say that "we do not lose consciousness, at any point" the question is to what degree of it changing we can still perceive as consciousness. For surely 95% of current humanity would this mean that when every they lie down to sleep (their physical body) they experience the unconscious mind. And can say so because they have not experienced their body anymore. Okay and what with the still tiny rest of the conscious mind who has experienced and continues to experience more and more subtle bodies? Do you understand where I am coming from? To God-realized individuals there is no unconscious mind. To those who have not been there consciously, surely all else is unconscious. We can easily say that the more of ones light has penetrated all layers of one self, at one point, all is pure consciousness (again). Falling unconscious feels like darkness. Void of conscious perception.

"I know" isn't it? Who ever is interested in satsang with one's self and discovering one's true nature will understand why "we" do this. Because if we dont, than the mind shows it's very last barrier and that is fear. And yes, here is faith useful. But what kind of faith is it? Faith requires a believe and what happens when you are about to put one feet and the rest of the illusory "you" into a space completely void of concepts? It becomes blind faith. And essentially blind faith does not exist anymore. It is so transparent that it barely can be identified as faith anymore. Because you can not explain it to anyone. You can try but everyone will not feel it's texture, for it is so "light". The very, very last fear that there is, is fear of death. And in my own experience before this fear is the fear of not being able to relate anymore. If these both illusions are expelled one can "travel" consciously the "bridge" between "heaven and hell" with the earth as.. earth, inbetween both. All of these are concepts and all of these are real. For every concept has a reality to it that can be experienced. Just like we experience the very first states of creation itself, every day, every cell in a fraction of a second and continues to do so forever. I am almost not able to speak about these things anymore because I lose interest of using words the more deeper I allow myself to go... ...and it is such a relief.

Do you want to know the underlying truth of faith? Fear. You will not have faith, when you know. You have faith, when you dont know and want something to be true. But did not yet make the conscious effort in really researching if said thing or consequence really exists. Life-experience is missing so we "dream". And with this dreaming, we create, if we are powerful enough. But this creation will be destroyed at one point, for that is the nature of the Universe. We want something and we want it to be positive and we want it to last forever. This comes from our fundamental nature: We want something = we are creators We want it to be positive = we strive for life (in absence of not wanting to understand our negative aspect, therefor karma) We want it to last forever = coming from our true nature, which is pure consciousness, eternal Do you understand what is between the lines of all what we do here? The middle part, wanting positive - is our current imbalance. We have to unite positive and negative, as equal (surely there will always be an imbalance for creation to happen but it is a difference to AVOID negative or to INTEGRATE it) So faith is gone, when you know. Knowing, is pure consciousness. Heart. Spiritual Heart. God / Buddha / Christ Consciousness, that INCLUDES both positive and negative aspects of Life (but are rarely presented in todays literature due to avoidance)

Well you cant really throw it out, per se, since it is an integral part of the Universe, but you can bring your consciousness into unconscious parts. And thus "update" it. That is what we all do, as conscious beings/creators. Maybe that is also what you meant, in essence.

As opposite to the sun, an intense Positive Force, we have Dark Holes, who have not gotten any research in modern days and from my understanding not even in older days. When we read current literature like "Sun Yoga" from Umasankar, who has revealed along with HRM (Hira Ratan Manek) the tremendous health benefits (including natural enlightenment) of gazing into the Sun, like Taoists did in their practice aswell and is known in Buddhism as "Tögal", we understand that we have strong positive forces and strong negative forces in the Universe aswell. Each individual will discover this on his or her path, without any external teaching needed. Through the aspect of the Sun, Umasankar was tought all creation. Even the negative forces. But how come, especially these, are completely neglected in our human history? When we look at our own childhood, negativity was always kept secret and was claimed to be "bad". Nobody wanted to speak about it due to the (apparent) positive nature of this body, constantly striving for life and therefor overlooking it's death aspect. This body here is constantly decaying, as it is wanting to live. Now tell a person this on the street and especially in our modern culture, they surely dont want to be friends with you. And they are really "good" people? This is no other than being a Nazi of certain parts of life again. Our most simple and most powerful tool, our breath, a constant change of life and death. As a prime example. We have pure consciousness, the basis of it all. What all of us are, right here and right now. Indestructible and unable to getting born. It simply is. For eternity. This aspect of creation has no dualities. It can be perceived as what is known as "unconditional love". The foundation of everything. So even "bad people" experience love? Of course they do. I would say even negative spirits. Only our doctrin of shaming this aspect might have forced them temporarily not to feel loved. But they still are. Everything is. Now, what would be your understanding of why we have no (or do we?) a string the other road, into Darkness? I am not speaking about "empty" space. Empty space is pure awareness again, that is not a negative force. Empty is empty (potential, actually full), positive is positive and negative negative. Were our religions so afraid that they banished possible work with dark energy? I am sure if you would really dig deep, you would find the entire bandwidth of what we have today, striving towards the sun, in it's opposition striving into negativity. And: Can we understand that Light is unifying (high positive) and Dark is scattering (high negative)? I feel we have much, misunderstanding regarding so many aspects of creation due to misidenfitication à la "doesnt feel good, I dont want it, so I dont even care to understanding it" so the whole dilemma of dharma started in the first place. The fun part is, the REAL fun part, that most being living an okay- but not highly-conscious lifestyle, create negativity where they are. They WANT positive and in this manner create a huge load of negativity (through not wanting) in resistance there of. One can say they live blindfolded. The fundamental parts of our self, regardless of age, gender, religion, culture and so forth - as a creative being is pure awareness, the "I am" thought which is highly positive and the "I am not" thought which is highly negative. By saying I am that and I want that, I automatically create an absence of ... logically ... what I am not. Is this comprehensible for a 3D mind? I would not say that positive and negative is the entire creation, the entire Universe, the entire existance. But it surely is our reality through our own conditioning. And it is so nasty, when you really want to dive into it. Because in the end, does it matter if I create and strive for positive? There will come a time where my negative forces bring it all down again. Sure I can enjoy the temporary nature of this positive aspect, as long as it holds, but it is temporary. Our most inner need is a wish for consistency, of something that is for eternity. We see this every day, in whatever we do, we hope that it lasts forever, but it surely doesnt, because we yet understand only such a tiny piece of what we actually create. Hey, this is Tai Chi in essence. Are you bold enough to enter this thread without bias? And now you, please.

Why you are in misery, earthly man (please with a grain of salt) and how to overcome it through understanding. There is a huge imbalance happening. I have noticed this through my personal experience with life and living a relationship very consciously over a period of one year. I have entered this relationship during my Qigong practices and was mostly concerned about root, stomach and solar plexus (which all is regarded to be the 3rd dimension). The attracted, beloved female was in a similar position. But my effort was moving into and understanding the 4th up into the 5th. And so was she. But we did not observe the relationship properly and what I have noticed, unfortunatelly or fortunatelly close to and after our breaking up, in meditation for which I did not take proper time during the relationship otherwise wouldve noticed this earlier, was that the Entire relationship was a power struggle. Even though we attempted to involve love and taking time for eachother, it was all about power. It was lovingly, but all about power. She was attracted to how confident I approached her, how "room-filling" my presence was in the beginning and my energy, my new ideas, my creativity on what we could do and then did together. And we loved to have sex. And there I noticed the change. The balloon lost it's charged atmosphere / air. And the balloon flattened. I did notice that tremendous changes were happening inside me and in my lifestyle. My discipline reached zero. I got lazy. I attapted so to her and her parents lifestyle, due to the time I spent in their home that it completely blew my routine. I really thought "I have made it and now I can settle back" HAHA!! Really. That was the feeling. I completely enjoyed every minute with her, but forgot that all of this creation, ALL OF THIS CREATION, THE ENTIRE RELATIONSHIP, was MY creation. Through me being ME. And by saying this I speak for everyone. But in this case, surely only for me. In essence, this is the realization for every individual out there who tastes power, who tastes a greater amount of energy in his or her being. It has to be maintained and surely can be increased (or realized) but has to be maintained with focus. Otherwise it changes, like it always does, but in a direction that will fit the surroundings. And coming from a self-disciplined home into a home full ouf couch-potatoes, then gently teaching Her discipline and seeing how she begins to thrive upon it, and myself then Losing said discpline? Wow, so stupid. Is all I can say now. And then we broke up. Obviously. Because I tried to find my center, and she simply couldnt "see" me anymore. Is this understandable? I am sure I speak for all men here. And where is the dilemma? Ejaculation. Ejaculation is the dilemma. Male human beings are in such a tight and strange spot... we can gain power super fast and quite easy but we lose it easy and fast aswell. So ALL the bright stories we have seen in movies, where hero's stand on a tall mountain, with a swollen breast, and many women to their feet - is entirely true. And all the lechery and sucking life out of males, is also true. And THIS is the misunderstanding why spiritual men burnt spiritual women. Men did sexual alchemy but didnt know how to have sex without ejaculation. Female Naturally do blood alchemy and do not know how to Not hold themselves back from taking sexual energy from males. So both agree. Men loses, women gains, if there is genuine love for eachother. Why is that so? Because it is all about energy and how much your being can hold. Then you are Alpha. You can have all women in this world, easily, with No effort. They all come running, because it's all about attraction. You can feel this even after 1month of Qigong practices, cultivation and not having Sex 1time. You feel it. And then continue. You will feel you can rule kingdom, and you can. All opens up for you. But if you fall again into ejaculating, you lose the entire game of "survival of the fittest", here in 3D. The solution? Is the 4th Dimension. What I attempted to get into with her. But doing so, you must let go off all your baggage, all the negativity that belongs here. And interestingly enough male and female attraction changes there aswell. It goes into unification. That means you as a male feel you lose your power, your ego power. But it will not really flow away, it just changes. A very important alchemic ingredient is added, if not THE most important: The purification of the heart fire. Love, brotherhood, I am and I see me in you. Equal. Can this still have sex? Sure, but with an entirely different basis. Giving. My learning here is incredible... and it was so painful. But it was worth it. Like it was written about Guru's that they constantly ascend and descend. The higher you go, the deeper you fall. Just to understand both aspects. I could cry right now, of joy understanding all this through actual Life Experience and not reading only and I could cry of sadness that she in her unconscious female nature "did" all this to me. But she is still very young, she will understand. To all female readers, I am sure this can be applied to your situation vice versa. Though I can only speak for my, for the most part, male experience. All the best to you, my beloved I am.

I deeply appreciate your sympathy. The closer we get to our hearts, the deeper we feel how seperation hurts. The higher we then get, the more we understand the illusory nature of this seperation. Step by step. In my view there is only one Eve and one Adam. With many faces. or "All is chips, just different flavors" I and she, we both, we all, continue where we have left off.

general question: for what processes does the body need caffeine for?