CrunchyChocolate555

It sucks to say but I have to be brutally honest- every time I made a conceited effort to become the "natural man", my life has always fallen appart horrifically. Likewise, each time I made a conscious effort to become the person I wanted to be, that's the only place I have ever been able to make an "improvement" in the quality of my life, to actually enjoy my life and have some level of success. For instance, I have suffered from bouts of clinical depression for the past near-decade, and have at times tried to understand what the pain and suffering was all about through this "radical acceptance", trying to reach some kind of resolution or transformation through patient acceptance, but not only has it never worked, but that's when I had always been the closest to taking my own life. Without fail, it's always driven me to yet more horrific places, even when I thought there was no going lower, without fail, there was always something worse beneath. The thread is about this, you see, it's said that there are two basic paths to transformation: through water, through acceptance, through non-resistance, and through fire, through action and transformation. There is a much stronger fire current in the West, especially now with quantum mechanics and emerging findings in neuroscience where people are applying the idea that we are able to program our mind to live out almost any experience and likewise effect miraculous healings through the power of belief (also known as placebo). No, we can't be anything and not -everything- is possible, but a whole heck of a lot more is possible than we think it is! I'm being a bit unfair in my judgement of "water" practices, because I know it's a HIGH ART to apply them effectively in today's world, but what I am saying is that when water is missapplied it can be highly destructive, if not leave to a life of misery and mediocrity. Likewise, I definitely think that radical surrender is not something that is good for everyone. Can someone correct me here but- if our brains are products of practice and conditioning and we become experts at non-change, then wouldn't it be very easy to let things simply get out of hand, and let suffering and negativity become our dominant experience in lives, for those who grew up with that as the dominant force in their lives? Think about it; if for instance we have a chronic illness that diminishes the quality of our lives and we had the choice to either accept it (with no change in the condition), or to change our minds and beliefs and get rid of that condition, wouldn't the second option be the most life-affirming one? I think we've been extremely brainwashed in embracing punishment, guilt, shame and unworthiness as an excuse for "paying off karma", or whatever it may be. I know I'm ranting a bit, but thinking back now, as much as I adore Taoism I think it's a very tricky thing for us Westerners.. very tricky indeed. My frustration stems from nearly a decade of intermittent clinical depression, and all the bullshit that goes along with that. I did not mean to offend or diminish the value of ancient traditions, I just wanted to spark a conversation on this topic and see what you guys thought. Last year, I got out of my depression by making radical changes in my beliefs and actions (fire), and after a period of great joy and success, I fell back into the deepest pits of despair by embracing water- what actually happened was by trying to "just be natural" at the height of my success, I let my strongest and most ingrained subconscious tendencies devour me, because that negativity was the most "natural" thing for me... well, I guess you live and you learn. For now, for me anyway, I say screw the natural state- there is no natural man in today's modern world- you will get destroyed. Today, I choose to re-invent myself once again. In a way, I think this is one of the most ignorant posts I have made but I cannot help but feel this way right now. I'm sure I will be more embracing of a balanced perspective in due time, but for now I had to let it out!

This brings me to another interesting topic: if the ancients knew everything there is about the fire methods, why do none of the great religions or mystical traditions advocate it? Surely, if you could become or manifest anything or heal yourself completely of any pain or ailment, there would be mention of it throughout history. Why has this only been a more recent fad? Is it a siddhi which actually hinders spiritual development? What about the shamans? If they could manifest anything wouldn't they be driving Mercedes. Then again, they are smart enough to know that material wealth does not bring one happiness. I realize there were fire traditions in the old sense, but I'm talking about the newer do/be anything fad that started with the law of attraction and is now more legitimately and practically epitomized by books such as "you are the placebo" by dr. Joe Dispenza

I completely disagree with what I wrote. I was just in a frustrated state of material failure at the time. A sense of inner worthlessness and need to become "more". two viewpoints 1) Healing occurs through visualizing an intended outcome and applying sustained effort and intention to manifest that inner and outer condition. This implies that you don't like something about the present moment and you would like to change it. Could it then, the heat of fire be produced by the friction of resistance? (Fire) 2) Healing occurs through feeling unconditionally. Nonjudgement of any mental or emotional state, producing a state of peaceful acceptance and flow of energy. (Water) The trouble is that in a world where survival is based on performance, the fire method is the quick fix to achieving outer security. For instance, water may not satisfy your ego's craving, but can produce something deeper if you have faith in it. Trouble is, I had lost my faith in it. I just wanted to get rid of the pain and discomfort of being alive, of being a failure in the eyes of conventional social and material success.

After many attempts at trying to understand myself, and the story and patterns of my life, I am both relieved and terrified at what I have found. The dominant archetype ruling my life since birth has been "The Trickster". The below passages by Carl Jung describe the very definition of my life to a T, literally every part of it. I now wonder if there is any hope for me. Are levels of consciousness biologically pre-determined? This would explain why literally all my personal relationships have failed, and I constantly question my authenticity, or whether I am capable of loving and "doing good" at all, or that I am just lying to myself and others. Is this motif a learning step or a predetermined destiny? .. can anyone at all relate to this? Am I supposed to simply accept this as being who I am? It is so striking and accurate that I honestly don't know what to think. Is there a way out now that I have recognized him for what he is"? Any insight would be greatly appreciated. "Since all mythical figures correspond to inner psychic experiences and originally sprang from them,it is not surprising to find certain phenomena in the field of parapsychology which remind us of the trickster. These are the phenomena connected with poltergeists, and they occur at all times and places in the ambience of pre-adolescent children. The malicious tricks played by the poltergeist are as well known as the low level of his intelligence and the fatuity of his "communications." Ability to change his shape seems also to be one of his characteristics, as there are not a few reports of his appearance in animal form. Since he has on occasion described himself as a soul in hell, the motif of subjective suffering would seem not to be lacking either. His universality is co-extensive, so to speak, with that of shamanism, t o w hich, a s we know , the w hole phe nomenology of spiritualism b elongs. T here is s omething of th e trickster in th e character of the shaman and medicine-man, for he, too, often plays malicious jokes on people, only to fall victim in his turn to the vengeance of those whom he has injured. For this reason, his profession sometimes puts him in peril of his life. Besides that, the shamanistic techniques in themselves often cause the medicine-man a good deal of discomfort, if not actual pain. At all events the "making of a medicine-man" involves, in many parts of the world, so much agony of body and soul that permanent psychic injuries may result. His "approximation to the saviour" is an obvious consequence of this, in confirmation of the mythological truth that the wounded wounder is the agent of healing, and that the sufferer takes away suffering. Anyone who belongs to a sphere of culture that seeks the
 perfect state somewhere in the past must feel very queerly indeed w hen confronted by the figure of the trickster. He is a forerunner of the saviour, and, like him, God, man, and animal at once. He is both subhuman and superhuman, a bestial and divine being, whose chief and most alarming characteristic is his unconsciousness. Because of it he is deserted by his (evidently human) companions, which seems to indicate that he has fallen below their level of consciousness. He is so unconscious of himself that his body is not a unity, and his two hands fight each other. He takes his anus off and entrusts it with a special task. Even his sex is optional despite its phallic qualities: he can turn himself into a woman and bear children. From his penis he makes all kinds of useful plants. This is a reference to his original nature as a Creator, for the world is made from the body of a god. On the other hand he is in many respects stupider than the
animals, and gets into one ridiculous scrape after another. Although he is not really evil, he does the most atrocious things from sheer unconsciousness and unrelatedness. His imprisonment in animal unconsciousness is suggested by the episode where he gets his head caught inside the skull of an elk, and the next episode shows how he overcomes this condition by imprisoning the head of a hawk inside his own rectum. True, he sinks back into the former condition immediately afterwards, by falling under the ice, and is outwitted time after time by the animals, but in the end he succeeds in tricking the cunning coyote, and t his brings back to him his saviour nature. The trickster i s a primitive " cosmic" being of divine-animal nature, on t he one ha nd superior to man because of his superhuman qualities, and on the other hand inferior to him because of his unreason and unconsciousness. He is no match for the animals e ither, be cause o f his extraordinary clumsiness a nd l ack of instinct. These defects are the m arks of his human nature, which is not so well adapted to the environment as the animal's but, instead, has prospects of a much higher development o f consciousness based on a considerable eagerness to l earn, as is duly emphasized in the myth." CG Jung "the archetypes and the collective unconscious"

I have tried in vain for a long time to try and find the will to like and help people, but I have come up empty unless they have something for me that I want. I have found my romantic relationships, despite me wanting to establish a genuine soul connection, to be based on lust alone. I have found my desire to be a healer to be phony, based on nothing. I long to be a prophet and savior and I have no idea why. I long for compassion for self and others, but I feel nothing, no love, only coldness and artifice. I catch glimpses of the trickster who laughs at my desire for sincere love and compassion. When I picture giving love to others in my mind, the trickster pops up and tries to psychically harm those people instead, choking and stabbing them, and doing the same to myself (intrusive thoughts). It is terrifying. I do not wish to hurt others, but that is always what I end up doing. Not literally, never, I am not a violent person, but at the core of my psyche is rage and fear. I have done all the inquiries. I have seen many healers and even done lengthy shamanic plant medicine retreats touted to open the heart and increase empathy, but it has only served to confirm my suspicions. People respond to me in the same way. People seem to be aversive towards me and act just as coldly towards me. I am seriously considering spending the rest of my life in secluded solitude as I think I have little good to offer to the world. Perhaps in another life I will fair better. I am absolutely terrified of what I believe myself to be, and if it is not true, then I do not know why I believe this.

Say for instance that one of the biggest karmic lessons of an individual’s life is their morality. They go from having no morals and no spirituality, doing terrible and thoughtless things in their youth, to having a profound spiritual awakening in their later life, and attaining a universal-consciousness morality and extreme empathy for all beings. Not only seeking out what is best for all mankind, but for all of Tao. Not out of guilt, or of duty, but out of a profound understanding of the interrelatedness of all things. There would come a stage then, where that person first feels tremendous guilt for their past actions, and a reticence to express power and manifestation in any form whatsoever, despite perhaps having amassed a large quantity of it in their spiritual development. Even with an increasingly profound knowledge and acceptance of their shadow side, such a person becomes hesitant to participate in the “real world”, fearing he would be falling back by leaving new karmic traces and imprints onto the universe. Even worse, surviving in the “real world” where a career is needed becomes increasingly difficult as that person traces down the roots of all his fundamental desires, including the desire to physically survive. The world for this person seems to recoil on itself, and he feels AND feels responsible for all the pain and horror of the world, from the slightest innocent remark that may hurt one’s feelings, to the most horrific of Hitlers throughout the ages. What would you tell such a person?

What do you do if you fail at your career, lose all your friends, and lose all your money? What if everything in your environment reflects your constant failures to thrive in this material world, this competitive rat-race? How do you regain your sense of confidence, charisma and enthusiasm in the face of such adversity? How does one find solace in one's essence beyond this material world when having a "healthy ego" is so determined by how well one performs in our societal and cultural hierarchy? Well, you don't have a choice, right? So you get back into the game, try once again, but then how can you start all over fresh and clean, without any trace of previous defeats haunting your every word and action? I mean, it's all well and good to be a lone wolf and do your own thing, but if you can never fit in and succeed into the mold of this world, especially financially, how do you not start resenting that world and all the people that live in it? I am at a point where I am finding it very difficult to love and respect the people who have what I don't. I try so hard to like them, but I cannot find any reason to, other than that is "the right thing to do". Should I forgive them, or forgive myself? All those people who rejected my good intentions, and the friends that were never there for me compound my sense of self-rejection. How do I just let it go? I feel like part of me would feel like a pushover or a wimp for even giving anyone a second chance. Of course, it's not -everyone-, but it sure feels like it in my heart. How can I detach myself so much that I have no ego left to get hurt while still succeeding in the material world?

Hi guys, thanks for all your comment. This issue has now been resolved for me, I think. I just made the decision to forgive myself and everyone. I did it for myself, but I did it. I feel like a feather now.

"The fool who persists in his folly shall become wise"

I want to invite an open discussion on the hero's journey, as well as the universal journey of liberation. This is kind of in line with Krishna's and Arjuna's discussion in the Bagavad Gita. On the one hand (especially as a man), fulfilling your worldly duty and following your personal heart-will (heart-mind), and on the other, releasing attachment from worldly matters in order to evolve in the spiritual life.

OK, let's look into some actual practical solutions for your issue. I have worked a lot with plant medicines and these spirits and autonomic psychic energies can be tangibly felt and seen under the right circumstances. That is how I got tangible proof that I was OK. I literally saw that there was nothing wrong with me, and that my problem was that I was confusing the map for the territory. I saw that my energy body was fine, and so was everything else. The key is simply keeping your thoughts under control. That's what tunes in these kinds of frequencies and attracts these energies. They are pretty neutral in and of themselves. If you know how to use your aura (shield), they cannot harm you. Thoughts like having an entity are unhealthy, and your preoccupation drain your confidence and energy and thereby sustain and create a sort of pseudo-entity. The cycle then starts feeding itself as you reinforce the idea in all sorts of ways. Now what you want to do is simply take this belief out of your life. With it will go the entity. You see, you must believe it's gone. It's an essential component of shamanic healing that the patient believe that they are cured. You need to find why you are still attached to this idea and then chisel at that. Replace it with a healthy thought. Let something else rational take it's place. Understand it clearly. You are your mind, and whatever that is, it is perfect and utterly untouchable, unbreakable, independent, whole. If you are willing, this is a starting point. The rest as they say, is in the details. These are the skills you want to apply every single day to reinforce the fact that you are whole and complete. Do you love yourself? That's a big one. What's going on in your life? How is your diet and sleep? How are your relationships? These are all things to look at. So, if you are willing, there is always a way, and you do not need anyone to "fix" you. That is something you need to cultivate yourself. Take a humorous approach to your situation. The more you take your ideas seriously, the more they get stuck.

Cancer can be detected and diagnosed using scientific instruments. You have a psycho-spiritual problem on the order of a psychosomatic illness. The illness is that you are stuck and fixated on a belief system that is not serving you. The first thing you have to stop doing is giving validity to it. Giving validity to it *is* victim mentality, because you might get to the point of a modest presentation and even get some people on your side. This is going to get you nowhere. You need to find the desire to completely delete this parasitic program from your mind, and I guarantee you if you do that your entity issues will go away and you will be in a much better position to start tackling the practical issues you are now dealing with. You are actually 1 step behind in your problem right now. Because you have wonderfully engineered an excuse not to deal with your issues by blaming it on an invisible boogeyman. Also, any practical steps you are taking now will obviously be less effective because you won't believe anything will help you until the "entity is removed". So look, it's up to you, really. You're going to get a mix of responses here both denying and validating your story, and you're going to get all sorts of advice. but if you want to take it from someone who was in almost the exact same position as you and got out of it rather successfully, then that is the advice I have to give you. Now I managed to use my "issues" to my advantage and turned my weaknesses into strengths. I'm now actually in a position to help others.

Hey man let me give you the straight truth. You can argue and debate this all you want, but it's the truth. I'm speaking as someone who was in a similar boat as you until I snapped out of it, finally got my shit together AND I got over my victim story. While you may be utterly convinced that you have an entity, the fact is that you may or may not. "Entity" is a semantic definition of an assortment of different kinds of energies, it just depends on how you look at it. Many of these healers and Sifus that charge thousands upon thousands of dollars are frauds. Why? Because anyone can do what they *claim* to do. If you are at 3 failed attempts and counting, then perhaps it is you and your attitude that is the problem, not the "entity" or the healer. Dude, what you have to do is abandon this narrative of your life. If you keep it with you, you are NEVER going to get better. There is no one out there that is going to be able to "exorcise" or "fix" you. The only way out is to take a good long objective look at every aspect of your life, implement daily steps to fix it, and then you will find your situation gradually improving. I think it's just such an easy cop-out to say that you have an entity. It's arrogant and wishful thinking really- it assumes that once the "entity" is gone, you will have it easy and will not have to do any more work. That is so patently wrong it blows my mind time and time again how people who refuse to deal with reality as it is invent all kinds of stories and reasons for why they are the way they are instead of actually doing what they know they should do to get better. Again, you may come up with another reason YOU think is very valid for why your story is true, but you are the ONLY person who is keeping that idea alive in your reality. Not only are you keeping it alive, but you are re-enforcing it constantly in your mind and the people you interact with. You've got to cut this out man, seriously. The only thing you're going to realize at the end of your life if you keep up with this is how much time you have wasted feeling victimized instead of living your life just the way you are, however unpleasant it may be. Life is meant to be lived in all it's colors, and it's not always going to be pretty.

Can you comment more on Jung's commentary on Wilhelm in regards to the I-Ching? Where can I read more on this?

I'll contribute: I think a hero is someone that goes beyond their own personal survival and satisfaction to attain or help contribute something to a whole much greater than his or her individual self. This means that the hero may need to sacrifice his life (or his ego) to attain this objective. Then, the path of enlightenment is simply releasing the need or desire to do anything, or have any judgement about anything. Of course, this is sometimes impossible without first going through one or several hero's journeys in order to get some of the more quarrelsome aspects of human will out of the way. Sometimes, there are just certain things we feel utterly compelled to do with our lives, you know? That is, the fact that many of us will not want to sit still doing nothing in our lives, so going out into the world and achieving personal success (fun question: is personal success par of the hero's journey?), and sacrificing himself for a greater version of himself.

I just recorded this out of a whim, and I have no idea why. It's a kind of horror/sci-fi/shamanic voyage, about 11 minutes long. If anyone cares to listen, I would be curious what you guys thought of it. Best listened with headphones in the dark. https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B9FORk3RszUOVEJheDhIUFlBWTQ/view?usp=sharing

Hey guys, I have not posted here in a long time. I need some advice. For a long time I had been having “inner” problems which seemed impossible to resolve. I was having many problems of all kinds. Through many years of hard work I have finally resolved most of them and I can honestly say that I lead a very happy and fulfilled life in almost all areas, except one. I guess most people would wish to have a problem this “simple”, but for me it seems like the most complicated thing in the world, and despite a month of daily consistent hard work and pushing myself out of my comfort zone constantly, saying yes, taking risks and looking for new opportunities, I have little to no results to show for it. Basically, I am a body worker and talk therapist (I do not have a degree in psychology, I use a method I learned from working with indigenous traditions). I have two degrees in massage therapy. I want to start my own business, but I am several k in debt and cannot seem to raise enough capital to get launched or even just rent a room. Furthermore, I do not know anyone who would be interested in lending me money and from those that would, they have already lent me so much I could not ask for more. I don’t mind temporarily working for another business at a lower pay to raise cash but so far I have not received any answers to any of my applications spanning daily attempts and careful monitoring of ads. I had previously worked for a few places, one of which I worked for the better part of the year and closed down due to not paying their employees. The thing is, I am totally confident in my ability to do my job well and earn an adequate compensation. I’m really good at what I do, but no one really knows me in this area. I have this great gift to give to the world, but no one is giving me a chance, and I am sinking from the weight of having to pay bills and well, food, so I don’t end up on the streets. Tomorrow I am meeting again with some renters on the possibility of renting a room 2 days out of the week to work in, but I also have to pay a renewal association and insurance fee (to be able to issue insurance receipts), so that’s at least 500$ I have to put down just to start working. I already asked for a 2-week delay for my first payment but it looks like I may have no choice but to be upfront tomorrow and tell the renter that I do not have the money. I’m doing everything I can not to give up, but the weight of it is crushing me more and more and even though I am ignoring it, it is reducing my productivity. Part of me is starting to doubt whether I am on the right path. I seem to be doing everything right, but I am not getting any of the responses or doors opened despite all my attempts. There's not much more I can do save barge into somewhere and demand work, but I can't do that! It kinda feels like the Universe has left me hanging on this one area of my life. I know that's a real "victim mentality" that won't get anyone anywhere but that's what it is right now. I want to be able to direct the energy that I have in the right places, instead of going in circles in frustration. I don’t know if I should be patient or to try harder. If any of you bums have any advice, I will kindly appreciate it. This is pretty much my last line of inquiry before I either run away and live on a hill-top somewhere, or just start completely rethinking my life and what the fuck I am doing here.

Thank you everybody for the awesome advice. I did the only thing that I could do; push on. I am putting all my love and effort into making this happy going by the motto of "do or die", and it is indeed moving forward. Perhaps not in the way or at the pace I would have liked to, but it is moving forward and so am I. soaring crane; yes I am willing to try that!

Hi bubbles, That may indeed be part of the problem, not only the house (which is not mine), but also the people I live with, who are very negative and "poverty minded" people. They are however kind enough to allow me a place to stay, and I do not have anywhere else I can go for the moment.

There's all kinds of things- some of my blog entries and other creative or transliterated stuff. I did this for fun but I'm open to any kind of input or criticism since my fb circle isn't exactly into these kinds of things https://thegreatervehicle.squarespace.com/blog/

Hi BluePhoenix, The following is from my personal experience, so it is no final word. That being said; Try to do them as close as you can to what you see in the DVDs. My understanding is that it is permissible to vary the distances and angles -slightly- depending on your morphology. So you can experiment with holding your hands a little higher or lower, farther or closer to your face, etc. The important thing is to not cut off the energy flow with improper form. Don't worry if you sometimes you feel the energy more than at other times. There are many variables that come into play here including your current physical/mental/emotional state, stress levels, etc., while practicing. Healing and energetic re-balancing can occur on levels outside of your conscious awareness, and may shift in and out as you improve. As always, patience, consistency and equanimity are important in inner cultivation.

Just wanted to add my testimonial to this thread: I have had nothing short of a life-transforming experience with FPQG over my 4 years working with the system and more recently through Sifu Terry’s direct instruction. I’ve done several online sessions via Skype with Sifu Terry over the last year and also had the great privilege of meeting him for a private session in LA this past weekend. I’ve tried many systems of internal development over the years, but I have found little that compares to the consistent awakening potential that FPQG provides in terms of physical and psycho-spiritual development. You really need to do it every day, and be consistent with your practice to reap the maximum benefits. This is key, as you are improving even if you do not know it. Working 1-on-1 with Sifu Terry is like high octane fuel for your practice. It helps tremendously to get an evaluation of your form via direct guidance, as you will better understand the mechanics of how to improve your own energy flow, and understand the system in general. In my case, I had a lot of residual structural tension from many years of weight lifting that Sifu Terry was able to quickly pinpoint and provide precise instruction and remedy. The private sessions also fixed some misconceptions I had and fine-tuned my practice, allowing me to experience the benefits on a whole other level, including an enhanced awareness of the subtleties of the art. Sifu Terry was also instrumental in providing a greater personal understanding of the roots of true inner (and outer) cultivation and his advice has often been the key leverage I needed to defeat personal obstacles and advance in my own psychospiritual development. I was also taught the first few forms of Tao Tan Pai, which has helped in building a more solid martial foundation for my FPQG practice. Overall, I would say if you are a regular practitioner of FQPG, or even if you’re just beginning, it is well worth receiving direct personal guidance from Sifu Terry, on Skype or in person. He is a very kind, genuine and patient person- super easy and enjoyable to work with, and a storehouse of knowledge and experience. You may be left being pleasantly surprised at how much you are truly capable of in your own internal development. Ioann

It seems now more and more people, especially as part of the "new-age", are advocating focusing on the heart-center, "living in the heart", breathing through the heart, and overall address it the same way as us Taoist cultivators address the lower Tan Tien. From all the Taoist literature I have read however, it is said that it is unwise to overly focus and gather energy in this mmiddle center, as it can quickly cause unbalances, particularly emotional imbalances. I suppose the distinction should be made between simply bringing awareness into a certain area and actually storing energy... which is kind of tricky. I mean, doesn't sustained awareness automatically make the energy accumulate? So how would one "live in the heart" without making the heart/middle tan tien energy accumulate/stagnate? Any thoughts and ideas, I'm open to discussion.