CrunchyChocolate555

A fool who persists in his folly will become wise.

I have the exact same problem! Mine also returned suddenly after doing extensive work to get rid of it! I wish I knew exactly what's wrong that it's always getting stuck there. I know for *sure* that extreme stress fills it right up. Feels like an inflated balloon in your head, right? Sometimes, part of it comes out and there are just these golfball or grapefruit sized balls of pressure radiating outward from the head. I know it definitely has an effect on my cognition and it's been nearly half a year that I have had this. I don't know what damage, if any it has done. Wish someone had some definitive answers. :/ May I ask what sparked the issue for you in the first place?

Does anyone know how to get in touch with Sean Denty? http://thetaobums.com/user/175-seandenty/ I sent him a PM but I fear he may not see it as his last post was in 2010.

Thank you, 林愛偉, for your very generous offer. I really do appreciate it. And thank you for taking the time to write a very thorough and helpful reply. I have gone through a couple of skilled acupuncturists, who have treated me with both herbs and needles, and the results have been minimal. Perhaps they were not the right herbs, or perhaps I did not get a sufficient number of treatments, but it seems that my problem is greater than any cookie-cutter TCM stuff can deal with. I am specifically looking for a qigong master that can detect exactly what and where is wrong with me, and give me or prescribe a specific treatment to reverse my condition. I'm not being picky, it's just that I fear that in my case, anything less would simply not work. I immensely appreciate the people who have come offering TCM treatment for my issue, and I may consider taking up your offers. I really hope I'm not coming across as a narcissistic prick- I know beggars can't be choosers, but it's just that I really need the assurance that if I fly in for treatment, that they have a track record for having treated this kind of thing before. Any more recommendations would be highly appreciated, and again to those that have offered help- I appreciate it immensely. I don't have a lot of money so if I end up flying to another country I want to make sure I make the right decision. Grateful to all of you. PS: Trunk, I read some of your link, and found it extremely pertinent. I would really like someone like is written about in the quote below. That would just be able to pinpoint the exact problem and take care of it once and for all. :/ ..., I was asked to stay behind with the translator and some of Sherfu’s students. Three weeks earlier Sherfu L found an imbalance in my kidneys. He didn’t make much of it, but suggested I take some herbs which he prepared the following day and said that he felt the imbalance was due to improper qigong practice. ... As a side, David said that many people who practice the Healing Dao methods end up with this type of imbalance. In any case, on the morning that Sherfu J tested us, as he passed his qi into my left side the qi began to pulse, stopping and starting in a kind of rhythm as my arm contracted and released. He said that I had a fairly serious blockage in my kidney area and would need to draw some of the stagnant blood out and prepare some special herbal pills. One of the members of our group had been through something very similar and having shared their story, prepared me to some degree for what I was about to experience. That afternoon Sherfu had me stand on his porch as he lanced the veins in the back of both my knees with a prong the size of a knitting needle what seemed like at least a half inch into the flesh. After he got the blood flowing he used his qi to push the affected blood out of my body. What came out of me was about a half pint of what looked like roof tar. It was literally black and thick like a paste. Sherfu said that if I hadn’t come to him, I would have been quite possibly hit with a stroke within the year. After the treatment I actually felt really good. I was given several large herbal “pills” to clear anything that was left in my system. ...

Yes, what happened is I ejaculated up the spine, but I am not sure I sent it up the "correct" channel. I felt it went on the anterior side of the spine or possibly even the central channel. Either way, the immediate effects were very positive, I felt great, but about 30 minutes later, all of a sudden, I felt extremely, extremely sad/depressed/fearful, and I immediately knew something was wrong. I know it would be easy to attribute this to post-ejaculation blues, but this was something a hundred fold more intense (the depression) than anything I had ever experienced before. In addition to the emotional problems, entire regions of my body felt blocked (still do to this day), almost numb, including my throat and chest area, which made it very hard for me to talk and speak up. Mentally, I feel foggy and it's sometimes hard to put together sentences. I have had bad depression before (years prior), and this pretty much put me right back there within half an hour for whatever reason. Right now, I am much, much better, but I feel I have never fully recovered from that one incident. The blockages in my body and mental dullness have remained constant. Something just feels totally "off", though it's hard to pinpoint the problem. Also, as a result, most every energy practice I do now does not work or make it worse. It's like there are entire regions (as I mentioned, especially chest and throat area) where no qi whatsoever can pass through. They just seem "dead"... as cheesy as it sounds, I have trouble feeling love, since I cannot feel much in my chest anymore. I have NO idea what happened or why it caused such profound and lasting negative effects. What I'm doing now is basically doing everything I can (in my power) to restore my health to it's maximum potential. But on an energetic level, I am still a complete mess. All the TCM herbalists/acupuncturists I have seen have been able to identify some clear indicators and make a proper diagnostics of what is currently wrong with me (severe excess heat, excess phlegm, and liver qi stagnation), but are all stumped as to why the treatments have not helped. My main acupuncturist said that this problem might be something that I needed to resolve on a karmic level. At this point I would be willing to fly out to see an expert. I have considered Sifu Jenny Lamb, but she charges more than I make in a year. :/

Hey guys, I wanted to know, perhaps someone who has some knowledge about the topic could help me. How bad is getting heavy blows (punches, medicine ball throws) to the gut on a weekly basis? Of course, with a kiai (yell), as well as strong contraction of the abdominal muscles, during the punch. The reason I ask is because I have been doing a weekly martial arts/self defense (kajukembo) class during which we receive some really heavy punches in the gut while standing in horsestance, and then a session of medicine ball throws to the gut. This makes me feel really uneasy, because of how vulnerable the area is, and because I already have liver qi stagnation, a bad diaphragm, and pelvic floor probs. I feel my entire gut in "knots", so to speak. I am kind of worried about any potential damage this may be causing me. I have never brought this issue up with my instructor for 2 reasons: 1) He is a very knowledgeable acupuncturist and TCM doctor and he is well acquainted with my health condition, so I figured he would have contraindicated it for me. He suggested I attend in the first place. (it is a private/exclusive class at this particular school, and not anyone can view or attend it). 2) There is a "no pain no gain" mentality associated with this particular class. It is self defense, so we throw real punches with no remorse. The idea is we can always "fix" things after the damage is done. There is potential for injury, but that's the risk you assume. But like I said, my concern is really with the abdominal punches. Sure, you see the Shaolin monks do it, but they do this all day every day, and have extensive qi training. We have bagua/hsing-i as part of the curriculum during the rest of the week, but the only preparation we do for this class is 30 min of deep horse stance. No internal work. So with that said, I worry that if I bring this up, I will simply be asked to leave the class, be viewed as "weak" and awkwardness will ensue (as I do not want to stop the other classes). I doubt he will make an exception for me. You either do it their way, or don't do it at all. Any input is greatly appreciated.

Wow, that was really helpful man. It's interesting that you mention your Ayahuasca trips, because I went to Costa Rica last year to do a few "iboga" journeys. Unfortunately (or fortunately), during that specific 3-week period, my sirens were no longer present (I stopped cultivation practice for some time before/after the journeying). The journeys did not go well at all unfortunately. I was not able to let go due to a number of internal and external circumstances. This did not result in a "bad" trip, just a very draining and unproductive waste of time and money. But I digress... I think I should emphasize a point, although I don't think it makes any difference. The sounds (ambulence siren) is ALWAYS there. It loops at a constant pitch and rhythm, and I would make no distinction from it and something like tinnitus (ringing in the ears) except for the sound produced. The best I am able to do is not have my conscious awareness focused on it, at which point, for all intents and purposes, it's not there (but really is, like ringing in your ears).

Thank you!

No way! That's really weird haha I watched some of your videos. Very interesting! The sound I hear is actually an ambulance siren- not a police siren. It stated with a police siren last year, but now it's an ambulance. Occasionally, there is sometimes the sound that a big truck makes when backing up.. the slow and gentle "beep... beep...", but that one I don't really mind. Perhaps in some past life I was crushed by a truck that backed up onto me and then died in an ambulance on my way to the hospital? Haha! I have decided to stop ALL energy cultivation practices for a while (except meditation) and will see what happens. I doubt this will fix it, because it often resumes when I start doing them again. :/ Despite sounding extremely unpleasant, I will try to suggestion to "appreciate" it more. I am doing a 10-day Vipassana retreat in a few weeks so perhaps that would be a good chance to get more "acquainted" with it. Right now, it's hard not to try an avoid it..

Hey guys, I left the class! It wasn't easy, but I did my best to explain in the most honest way I could. I get the feeling they think I just "gave up", but I don't care. I do not want to further justify myself. I have found another great school (with great teachers) where I can pursue my studies. Thanks for all the encouragement!

Who do I contact to sign up? I sent an e-mail a while back and never got a reply.. :/ Is the MCO part of the curriculum in KAP1?

Hey everyone, I'm the person who originally started this thread- but lost my login info so this is my new account. I'd like to give an update: It's now over 1 year later, and I still have the same problem- it never went away. There have been periods, sometimes lasting a couple months or more, when it stopped. This coincided with not doing any kind of energy cultivation practices. It was almost unnoticeable until recently, when I started doing the microcosmic orbit. Then it started again in full force. It is actually the MCO that sparked it in the first place last year. So for now, I will simply discontinue doing the MCO and wait until it goes away... which may take a while. I have still found absolutely no information about what could be causing this or how to fix this. I think I will reread the thread and see if I may have not missed some advice. I'm just glad it has not driven me nuts at this point. To be honest, it does seem like a neurological issue at this point since I do not have any major psychological issues. I'm a well adjusted person and live a normal day-to-day life. It just feels like a really whacked out tinnitus. That said, why is it a police/ambulence siren, of all things? There must be SOME psychological component to it with all said and done. I have on several occasions tried to "follow the energy" of the sound, using the dissolving water method, but it has never led me anywhere. There doesn't seem to be anything to follow and always ends in frustration. I REALLY wish I can somehow get rid of this.

I always wondered: what then of the hunter/gatherer tribes that rely on meat to survive? What of the inuit that eat a diet nearly exclusively consisting of animal flesh??!

Dr. Brian Clement from the Hippocrates Health Institute has a lot of really interesting things to say on this topic and has done a lot of groundbreaking research. First, he says the vegan B12 deficiency thing is a myth, as most people who consume meat are deficient in B12 to begin with, and that animal sourced B12 is not well assimilated, as are most B12 supplements. He says that many generations ago, our appendix was much larger and served as a B12 "storage" unit (B12 is supposedly a living molecule, like a probioitic). Since we have lost the proper usage of our appendix the B12 in our diets needs to be replaced constantly. He also had a lot of interesting things to say about fish and how they are way, way worse for your health than even red meat. He said fish is one of the worst things you could possibly consume, and gives some legit evidence for why. Real eye-opening stuff!

Thanks for the great and informative reply. I have been training there for nearly half a year now..

I still have not talked to my instructor. I have not gone to class all week due to an injury. The thing is that I am undergoing a Tui-na "apprenticeship" program with my instructor. But, I get the feeling that he couldn't give a rat's ass about me. He doesn't reply to any of my e-mails, and only gives me rushed answers/instruction during classes and during training. The other day it took all my courage to ask him if I had done anything to offend him, or said something wrong, and he said "no, no, not at all!" and that was that. I know he is a busy person, and doesn't have a lot of time to devote to me, but I *did* sign up for an apprenticeship program, after all. I barely get 30 minutes of Tui-na instruction a week, if that. I really feel like I'm annoying him every time I ask him a question. He also talks trash about every single other "master/teacher", whenever I happen to mention one. :/ So that's the thing, it really is my main "schooling", right now. Not just for martial arts. In regards to building up to the blows, we do NO internal work during this class. It is a 100% external self-defence system. Actually, we do no internal work for any of the other classes. All the bagua and hsing-i stuff is taught as an external MA, for some reason. I never question their method, since I figure he must know his stuff. The reason I haven't just cut my losses and found another school is I have a history of not getting along with my teachers/coaches in the past. I had to cut out my old tennis coach because of his big ego. So I am wondering perhaps if it is not simply me that's somehow at fault since it keeps happening over and over.

Thank you sincerely for all the advice. Today I will talk to my instructor

Yes, plenty of Jiow, as much as one would need! And yes, my instructor is white, as was his teacher. But, his teacher's teacher was Chinese, and all the way back to Dong Haichuan. You know what, honestly, I wouldn't mind leaving the class. I can't (and don't want to) just leave the center though. I study Tui Na and internal martial arts on a near daily basis and I'm friends with the students and instructors there. I think my fears are unfounded, but what I do not look forward to is the "your loss!" answer that I am kind of expecting from him. Plus, having to explain to everyone why I can't continue, and fear of sounding like I'm just wimping out. See, I have a lot of trouble being assertive, and no matter how good my reason is, it will probably just end up sounding like a lame excuse. If I were a little more confident, I don't think I'd have this problem. :/

Thanks for all the replies, guys! Here's a few things I feel I need to clarify: The class starts with 30 minutes of horse stance, followed by 10 strong punches in the gut (lower dan tien), 4 to the sides of the abdomen, 2 chops to each shoulder, and 2 slaps on each side of the ribs (all HARD). Then, 2 kicks to the inside and outside of each thigh. All this, still standing in deep horse stance. This is followed by medicine ball throws to the gut. Medicine balls are weighted leather balls, typically we use 5-10lbs, and we basically have someone lie down, protect their crotch and solar plexus, and have another person throw the ball down onto the other person's gut very hard. Again, about 20-30 reps total. On each punch received you are supposed to "kiai", which means you contract the area hit very tightly and let out a very loud shout, that should originate from your lower dan tien. The idea is that if executed correctly, this should prevent any internal damage. However, even with doing this, in my own case, I feel a lot of internal pressure and pain. The class then proceeds with the actual techniques and such. There area also kicks to the abdomen, and this in particular worries me because if you do not kiai at the exact right moment, you will be hurt. This has already happened to me a couple of times. On two occasions I did not kiai at the right moment, and got kicked very hard in the liver. This knocked the wind out of me and left me in pretty bad pain. Luckily, I don't think it did any damage. But what if it happens on the other side, and you get kicked in the spleen and it ruptures? Like I said, I have a lot of problems with my abdomen. I have a bad liver, a very tight diaphragm which makes it difficult for me to breath, and furthermore, I have had problems with my bladder in the past that make it so that now I have difficulty emptying it completely, which puts it at risk for rupture. So, I will definitely inquire with my instructor about all this. But the main reason I posted was to ask if I had reasonable justification to be worried. I know he had previously told me that the punches are actually good, and clear stagnation out, but I don't feel it does for me. I do not want to argue with him.. It really sucks, because I like this class. I am obviously worried about the potential for injury, but one of the benefits of the class, as was explained to me, was to tap into the spiritual aspect of getting familiar with the pain and suffering, something that reaps one great rewards. Then again, I don't want to die of a ruptured spleen lol

I can't wait to see what the martial FP meditations of Vol. 6 are like

In recent years I've really been trying to become a better person, and embody the qualities of someone who lives in service of others, who genuinely loves and cares for others and tries to better humanity and planet earth. Especially since my what-I-believe-to-be "K" awakening in December, I have strived to make this my primary focus.. should my body transform or decay, I felt these guiding principles would at least keep me afloat and on the right path. More recently though, as I have started to explore and open up to my "dark side", and exploring my "inner raskal" as Alan Watts would put it, I have found that part of me is a genuine asshole and has no remorse about it. There is a part of me that could care less what happens to others or to planet earth and that even bad things, which are just a manifestation of the collective unconscious and that it's OK to just watch things unfold without needing to bust my ass to make a positive change. As a tangent, what is to be said about wu-wei and the collective unconscious? Action through non-action? How does one not harbour any guilt by passively sitting through all the bad things going on in the world? I think this sort of inner exploration into one's dark side is a very healthy and necessary thing, but I think I'm going about it in a wrong way, as a sort of rebellion from trying too hard to be a "good guy" or a "saint" and utterly failing, because I was going nowhere in life and was simply giving all my power away in my social relations and not doing anyone any good by doing so. So I am seeking honesty and balance, but I am quite disturbed by what I am finding inside myself. It is in seeking to be honest with myself that I have found that I am not a saint, and I am leaning towards no longer feeling guilty about this, and this is where there seems to be an inner conflict. So this is where I'm torn. I no longer know where or how to draw the line. I don't know if what I wrote made any sense, but perhaps some of you can (hopefully) relate and we can spark a meaningful discussion.

But what if my truth, to others, might come across as being indifferent or even mean or hateful?

Hello friends, I am stuck in a bit of a dilemma here... This last December, I had what I am very positive to be a Kundalini awakening. I cannot say 100% for sure, but I am still pretty damn sure. The only reason I am not 100% sure is because it was incredibly frightening and traumatizing, whereas for most people, it seems like it is bliss. It basically felt like I was dying and my heart was going to explode. Afterwards, I had many of the debilitating Kundalini symptoms such as body shakes, spontaneous heat and cold, intense pressure in the head, etc. etc. On the positive side, it seems it has brought up some amazing insight and intuition and clarity into the "higher goal", if that makes any sense. Anyway, my question is: does Kundalini have the ability to remove entities, or at least make you work through your karma in such a way that the entities might leave? I have pretty much ALL the signs and symptoms of being the host to a very bad entity. The other day I finished reading through Sifu Jenny Lamb's website and it really is spot on. So I decided to email her and inquire about healing and entity removal. The thing is, though, that for some reason, I am absolutely 100% confident that even if I actually do have the worst entity imaginable, that I really can get rid of it on my own, either by letting Kundalini do it's thing or through hard diligent practice. Maybe not in one day, but if I continue doing the right things that I am doing now, that it will clear up on it's own. Am I delusional in thinking this? The other problem as mentioned before, is that getting a confirmation from someone who holds a lot of spiritual authority such as Sifu Jenny that I may indeed have an entity, would only reinforce the idea and make things unnecessarily worse.

What have your results been like if you care to share?

I have been practicing semen retention for the past few months, usually going for weeks at a time. Back only maybe 2 months ago, whenever I ejaculated, I felt weak both physically and mentally afterwards. But now, both just now and last week, after having ejaculated I have felt surprisingly "light and loose", in good humor, and just plain not as aggro. I actually feel BETTER afterwards. Even dare I say, more motivated? What's up with that? And what could that potentially mean? I read somewhere on the forums (credit dmattwads, if I'm not mistaken) that liver qi stagnation (which I have) is worsened by semen retention since the liver qi meridian passes through the groin... but I have had liver qi stagnation for many years so why now all of a sudden this kind of shift? Has this ever happened to anyone else?