My hermit life started as an accident. My job moved me to a new city after having lived 30 years in Dallas and building a lifetime of friends and family. I focused on work and then was moved again to another city. Then another move to a new state. So over 3 years I moved further and further away from my comfort zone and became a serious introvert. I stopped going out and remained single. I started telling others I was just too busy to date or go out and that I was just too picky to find a girlfriend. I knew somewhere deep down there was more to it than that so I started to reflect on myself. This is about the time I moved to Colorado. It doesn't hurt that it's so beautiful here and easy to get away from the world. My first big awakening was when I took a four day weekend and drive out to a remote cabin on top of a mountain by myself. I wanted to have a moment. I took my Tao te Ching with me, took a canoe to the center of a lake and read. It took all day to read because I paused to reflect with almost every passage. I spent the next three days in that cabin, just sitting on the tiny porch and listening to the wind and the bees, reflecting on life, myself and the world. I left with a better appreciation for life and a better understanding of myself. I was encouraged by my trip and hungered for more. I realised that I would never be happy until I truly understood who I was and was able to accept me for who I am, warts and all. Once I could be happy with myself, only then could I go out into the world and be unaffected by life's ups and downs. Three years after I moved here I finally came out of my coccoon. Able to accept myself, I found it was much easier to accept others' flaws as well. As a manager, I found myself more tolerant of my staff and less affected by negative events in my day. I am less concerned with hiccups of the day that negatively impact my work. Additionally, for the first time in my life, I find myself working to live rather than living to work obsessively. My career decisions are affected by my life and not the other way around. My next phase is to work meditation into my life. I'm very high strum and find I can't sit for more than 15 seconds before my mind wanders. I do tend to take long showers, almost 45 minutes sometimes, where I sit quietly effortlessly so I have come to realize that may be my little twist on meditation. I'm going to attempt to deliberately work that into my routine. I'm about to go get my teeth scraped at the dentist, so I have to sign off, but that's the condensed version of my story. I was still in the real world but I took the rest of my free time to myself for several years. It was well worth it! I quit drinking and smoking and now look inward for those feelings of satisfaction. I seek out the smells, sights and sounds of the outdoors for my intoxication. I've got a wonderful girlfriend (who is a Buddhist) who loves me for who I am on the inside and I love her for the same reasons. It's great and now my life is on a new journey...
