manitou

Decibelle, you get close to saying the unsayable. Beautiful awareness. After having been on this path for many years, it gets ridiculous to see how very easy it becomes; how clear things are, and how simple things actually are. But this is experiential knowledge alone; it just cannot be communicated with words - one must experience their way to this knowledge. What an odd set-up. We can look as far out into the world of knowledge as we possibly can, and yet hit a glass ceiling when it comes to internalizing this knowledge. This is only achieved by doing the internal cleaning required for clarity; by whatever method we prefer. Only clear water can perfectly reflect the sun. It seems to me that we, our awareness, sits at the crossroads of Time and Space. From a quantum physics point of view, the Particle takes up space. The Wave (of probability) takes up time. Matter is both a particle and a wave, somehow. Both time and space. I find that many questions can be answered by removing Time from the equation and looking at Space (the effects) superimposed on itself without regard to Time. Just a big pile of actions and effects viewable in one place at one time.

I've recently become immersed in the Freemasonry line of thought,as described by Manly Hall in his Lost Keys to Freemasonry book. I am astounded - I didn't think there was anything Western that could parallel the Eastern teachings. But growing up in the West in this lifetime, this mindset actually clicked to my Western mind in a way that was just a little deeper and a more perfect fit than even the TTC has. I highly recommend this reading to anyone who embraces the I Am consciousness and realizes who we really are. It gets real interesting at the 33rd degree at a highly metaphysical level.

Now that you've knit the pretty robe, do put it on.

I've found that kundalini energy gets stuck in the chakra that needs attention. Stuck in the throat means there's something you need to say that you're not saying. Figure out what it is, then find the most loving and kind way to say it to the person that needs to hear it. Usually it means we lack courage to say it - as in, they'll be mad, they won't like me any more, it's not what they want to hear and I'm afraid to change the dynamic. This is all part of the inner work necessary for full self-realization. Same goes for the heart chakra. Figure out what it is, when it's there - then take the steps necessary to align the situation; it will always involve getting over a fear of rejection of some sort.

Our purpose is to physically merge with our higher self. It's that simple.

Eh, for sure.

Wu wei must be done from a position of ego-lessness. Running energy through the hands is also best done from ego-lessness. Has anyone noticed that there is at least one Illumined One working at a high level within the American government? And that it appears there may be several Illumined Ones converging within the world stage? That world relations are changing because men's hearts are softening? That some key political leaders are shining and taking actions contrary to their natures? It seems that something is reaching critical mass and that the good ones are being elevated; that the best is somehow being brought out in us, despite the chaos of the Arab spring and the world financial picture; despite all that, there is visible a golden elegant strand that glows amid the chaos and is making its connections through Illumined Ones worldwide. I thik the light bearers should start getting dressed.

To be in full consciousness is to perceive without ego. We can step in and out at will if we've done the homework. The homework is done by being willing to see ourselves as we really are - flawed. To be able to see our own motives for everything we do, and to see the part that we play in everything that we're involved in - particuarly the disagreements. This is when we grow up and achieve clarity by degrees as the willingness to uncover self remains and is satisfied. There is a pony at the bottom of the pile.

Spiritual freefall.

The inner journey has killed the ego if it's done to its conclusion. From that point on we're capable of sidestepping or transcending ego whenever it's needed. Studenthood means a perenially open mind and the willingness to learn. To label ourselves as masters is self-limiting and reinforces our own conclusion that we have the answers. The sage is muddled and nebulous.

The highest aspiration of the ego is studenthood.

All who have lived and died are here with us Now. All who live now are here with us Now. All who have yet to be born are here with us Now.

I picked up a TTC translation by Stephen Mitchell, and the description of Not-Doing (wu-wei) is so nicely worded, I'd love to post it here. He writes this in his introduction: People usually think of Lao-tzu as a hermit, a dropout from society, dwelling serenely in some mountain hut, unvisited except perhaps by the occasional traveler arriving from a '60s joke to ask, "What is the meaning of life?" But it's clear from his teaching that he deeply cared about society, if society means the welfare of one's fellow human beings; his book is, among other things, a treatise on the art of government, whether or a country or of a child. The misperception may arise from his insistence on 'wei wu wei', literally "doing not-doing," which has been seen as passivity. Nothing could be further from the truth. A good athlete can enter a state of body-awareness in which the right stroke or the right movement happens by itself, effortlessly, without any interference of the conscious will. This is a paradigm for non-action: the purest and most effective form of action. THE GAME PLAYS THE GAME; THE POEM WRITES THE POEM; WE CAN'T TELL THE DANCER FROM THE DANCE. (Emphasis mine) "Less and less do you need to force things, until finally you arrive at non-action. When nothing is done, Nothing is left undone." Nothing is done because the doer has wholeheartedly vanished into the deed; the fuel has been conpletely transformed into flame. This "nothing" is, in fact, everything. It happens when we trust the intelligence of the universe in the same way that an athlete or a dancer trusts the superior intelligence of the body. Hence Lao-tzu's emphasis on softness. Softness means the opposite of rigidity, and is synonymous with suppleness, adaptability, endurance. Anyone who has seen a t'ai chi or aikido master doing not'doing will know how powererful this softness is. Lao-tzu's central figure is a man or woman whose life is in perfect harmony with the way things are. This is not an idea; it is a reality; I have seen it. The Master has mastered Nature; not in the sense of conquering it, but of becoming it. In surrendering to the Tao, in giving up all concepts, judgments, and desires, her mind has grown naturally compassionate. She finds deep in her own experience the central truths of the art of living, which are paradoxical only on the surface; that the more truly solitary we are, the more compassionate we can be; the more we let go of what we love, the more present our love becomes; the clearer our insight into what is beyond good and evil, the more we can embody the good. Until finally she is able to say, in all humility, "I am the Tao, the Truth, the Life." I don't think it gets much better than this. What a beautiful merger of the philosophical with the physical. The more I travel this path, the more I realize judgment gets in the way of everything. I also like the fact that Mitchell utilizes the female as the Sage as well.

CHAPTER 18 When there is a mind that is unimpaired within you, It cannot be hidden. It will be known in your countenance, And seen in your skin colour. If with this good flow of vital energy you encounter others, They will be kinder to you than your own brethren. But, if with a bad flow of vital energy you encounter others, They will harm you with their weapons. (This is because) the wordless pronouncement Is more rapid than the drumming of thunder. The perceptible form of the mind's vital energy Is brighter than the sun and moon, And more apparent than the concern of parents. Rewards are not sufficient to encourage the good; Punishments are not sufficient to discourage the bad. Yet once this flow of vital energy is achieved, All under heaven will submit. And once the mind is made stable, All under heaven will listen.

With a well-ordered mind within you, Well-ordered words issue forth from your mouth, And well-ordered tasks are imposed on others. Then all under heaven will be well-ordered. "When one word is grasped, All under the heavens will submit. When one word is fixed All under heavens will listen." It is this (word "Way") to which the saying refers.

Here's a different angle - The sage knows that he is part of the All. There is no differentiation between the atoms in his arm and the atoms in that rock over there. Perhaps this is the singularity that is his mindset. He knows that by not interfering with the course of things (wu wei, no intent) things will shake out just the way they're supposed to. He thinks with'singularity because he knows he is part of the Singular. There is no duality - no judgment - no good, bad, desirable, undesirable. It's just all One Big Movie and he's sitting on the observation deck watching it. He can choose either to See or to Experience, depending on his mindset.

I'm probably being way too naive here. But it seems that all true Masters will ultimately find their way, through their own personality, to the universal Love or Compassion for all. Can you think of a tradition where this is not so?

I've been seeing things from a very dark perspective lately, since going off 25 years of Prozac. While taking the drug, it seemed easy to stay in a place of gratitude, a place of periodic humility, emphasis on periodic. But the deep down anger I've been living with now is turning my world upside down. When I let the anger get ahead of me, I take things out on the "supporting cast" of my life - the peripheral folks engaged usually in a service industry of some sort - whether at the grocery store, gas station, wherever. Some days I have no fuse at all - the anger is brimming over the edge. The ego seems to ride out on the anger. At the bottom of the anger is ego. Why did that SOB cut me off on the road? Doesn't he know who I am?? Don't these people standing in line ahead of me realize that my time is valuable (as though theirs isn't??) And it goes on ad infinitum. The anger is a very convenient vehicle for ego. Yet, humility is the opposite. I have in front of me a Stephen Mitchell translation of the TTC - I look at his Chapter 7: the Master stays behind; that is why she is ahead. She is detached from all things; that is why she is one with them. Because she has let go of herself, she is perfectly fulfilled. This seems to diffuse it a bit; to realize that my anger, my impatience, my desire to be first, to achieve, are opposite to the Humility that this chapter seems to suggest. And what is Humility, really? I see it as giving credit where credit is due. To know that it is not Me that is achieving anything, it is that Thing within that is the thing that creates my art and has given me a good brain. It is my good brain. It is my thoughts. And it is also my Ego, my Anger. The Tao is both, and I think we must be gentle on ourselves when we find ourselves acting out like this, as I am prone to do right now. I suspect we all share this periodically. Chapter 39: The Master views the parts with compassion, because he understands the whole. His constant Practice is humility. He doesn't glitter like a jewel But lets himself be shaped by the Tao, as rugged and common as a stone. This says to me that we must view our darker side with compassion as well - we are part of the whole, and the Tao created both the light and the dark; outside us and inside us. It is all One, and our dark side is part of it. Mitchell's Chapter 22 addresses this: If you want to become whole, Let yourself be partial. If you want to become straight, Let yourself be crooked. If you want to become full, Let yourself be empty. If you want to be reborn, Let yourself die. If you want to be given everything, Give everything up. I find much comfort in Mitchell's Chapter 70: My teachings are easy to understand and easy to put into practice. Yet your intellect will never grasp them, And if you try to practice them, you'll fail. My teachings are older than the world. How can you grasp their meaning? If you want to know me, Look inside your heart. I would love to know if anyone else struggles with their own behavior....

A perfect analogy - treat the ego like water. So useful, those metaphors - I am going to add your metaphor to my bag of tricks too. Thanks, Christian. Actually, I did find myself flipping the bird back to someone that I cut off in traffic a couple weeks ago when I was impossible to be around. Normally I chuckle at those things, I haven't flipped anyone off in years. But a couple weeks ago it was virtually impossible to just let it go - the flip-off occurred without my permission. Just showed me how very foul I can still get, which isn't a very comfortable place at all.

Amazing that anger can hide in the muscles and psyche for so many years. and we're mirrors of each other - yes, it is always misplaced. It always goes back to self, to a frustration or unvented emotion from long ago where we tried to love it and it wouldn't love back; or we tried to fix our parents marriage when we were little kids and it just wouldn't fix. Everything's a trigger for everything else, and anger is always looking for a place to vent. And how wonderful we feel when the anger finally gets vented and leaves, or better yet - when the tears flow. For these are the very two escape valves that are built into us that are constructive. Holding it in for years is terribly destructive to ourselves. During this crisis there have been tears cried for things so long ago - and these tears somehow feel thicker, in some sense, than regular tears. Like they came from the very bottom of my soul. It is a surrender to my own helplessness; a relinquishment of any sense of control I ever thought I had. I am not the one making the decisions; I just thought I was. The words were understood by my head, it just took a lot of years for my heart to follow suit. Ego is truly necessary, without it we'd be driving into oncoming traffic. I think it becomes a question of just how much of it we want to rule our actions. If a person acts egotistically, it's covering up a deficiency, a feeling of less-than. I think when a person goes to the trouble of trying to remedy those undesirable traits, that the ego shrinks out of necessity. It's been deflated by acknowledgment of the defects. and it deflates naturally because the need is no longer there for it to be so sizeable. Then, we gain mobility of action and decision. If ego is ruling, we will always have to act in an opposing fashion to the stimulus, an equal slight, or an equal physical action, an equal reaction in kind. But if the ego is limited, we are capable of swallowing pride when it's needed, whether for the good of self or the good of All. A dimished ego, I am told, frees up our ability to act with a 360 degree circumference; as opposed to a mere 180 because we're reacting in kind. It is through diminished ego that wu-wei can be achieved. If we're acting out of reaction, we're acting limited. He hates me so I have to hate him back. He flipped me off so I have to flip him off back. Unhealthy ego - limited range of mobility ego. One performing wu-wei on a situation must learn to do it from a position of transcended ego. It would be called the Peace that passeth Understanding in Christianity; the Power of Silence in Castaneda-ese. The ability to Not Do, because one has learned to step aside from self and not react to the situation, regardless of the length of time it takes. Maybe ego and self-esteem get interchanged, too. Self esteem is true love of self; at the end of the road, the realization of the One. Ego, as it's used, has mixed reviews.

I think you're right about not being practical to live like a sage. Not sure what you're talking about here - but I do believe that if 'conventional wisdom' dictates one thing, I'm pretty sure it's the wrong path to take. In that sense, I do try to follow the leanings of the TTC every time it comes to mind - certain words flash into my mind, and I don't think they're a false humility. They come from the Knowing that all 10,000 things are a product of the 3, which are a product of the 2, which is a product of the One. Hence, all One in the end, even this chair I'm sitting on right now. The control issues within me can raise their head, but it's one of the 3 Treasures that I use (Love, Never Be the First, Never too much) that come into mind more often than not. The Not-Doing by keeping our hands off trying to control a situation, and Trusting that the One works by shaking itself out just fine without my help at all. These are all so counter-intuitive to my nature that although I've been trying to keep mindful of these values for many years now, it still amazes me when the wu-wei of being 'hands off' actually works, and in fact works in ways that would have been severaly limited if I had placed my hands on it. I agree; trying to emulate the Sage by trying to act with a false humility is anathema to one's spiritual growth; it would be a terrible hindrance, subtly reinforcing ego every time it's done. The kind of humility I mean is the kind that knows that we aren't the ones doing things at all; it's spirit within us doing it, forming our thoughts; therefore, we have no credit to take. Conversely, when nasty times come along, we must know that spirit is causing these as well - from within us. It attracts to us what we need; it is the magnet within. It is with this understanding that the Sage would see life - One with all of it.

Nice video - and truly there isn't enough dancing in my life. The thing that seems to be happening is an ability to sustain a slight out-of=body-ness, a place where I can get to where I'm almost watching myself - when I can stay in this place, none of it matters. No anger, no good, no bad. This is a good thing, for my purposes right now. Almost like hanging out in the assemblage point, as Castaneda would call it - just about a foot away from me. This honestly is working pretty well, but I have to decide to inhabit the place first rather than letting the rage overcome me. Posting again on TTB's is very helpful - but that's sporadic too. It's all coming together, just taking a little time - what an interesting experience this is. Makes me realize what a truly human animal I am.

I haven't a clue as to what a taoist is. All I know is I happened upon a copy of the TTC at a yard sale, bought it, and fell in love with it. I've read it so many times, along with other translations, that the words are internalized within me; when a situation arises, a paragraph immediately comes to mind. I merely love the mindset and what I perceive as the Truth contained within those chapters - unlike any other spiritual way that I've ever seen. It fits in perfectly with metaphysics, which has always been my path - once I climbed out of the form of Christianity...although the words of Jesus could certainly be considered taoist as well. To me, it's just the Way Things Work. I've proven this to myself too many times to start doubting it now.

thank you, everyone, for your responses so far. Every single entry had a slightly different bit of wisdom for me - Marbles - your modified usage of the 3 Treasures is beautiful - and just knowing that you're listening means so very much to me. Paradise - that seems to be it exactly. we are what we think, and the high falutin' stuff is of the brain; it seems to be the little daily thoughts that show us where our heart truly is. The only thing that seems to save me right now is remembering that we're all One - that person or situation I have negative thoughts about is Me too. K - thank you for your compassion - I thought I'd gotten through the anger through years of inner work - it's been the only way I've stayed sober for 30 years. I just couldn't imagine that the actual anger was waiting to be released at this senior stage of my life. Again, thank you for your love. mjjbecker - you have put your finger on it - including myself in the realm of consideration - not something I've ever even thought about doing, up to this point. I've been journalling nightly trying to get through this- I think I'll add those questions to my journalings. mythmaker - I jumped onto that site and was delighted to see it was about flower essences - this is something that a friend of mine recently showed me - she had ordered Australian bush essences and was making elixers. I found that the mix she made for me was really helpful - I googled around and found that clover essence (the tiny white flowers that pop up when the grass is unmowed) is also referred to as 'serenity in a bottle'. I made up my own, and I don't know if it's psychological or actual - but this essence does give me some relief. Thank you. Harmonious - I feel that qigong would be a definite route through this, but I'm unable to focus right now on the learned movements of others. What I have done instead (I should kick it up) is to do my own qigong-like movements, whatever my body wants to do, to music. It feels right. Some mornings I'm too irritated to do it, but usually it gets done about once a week. Sinfest - Your words are powerful. Make the anger get tired. I drove down the street the other day just screaming at the top of my lungs. Windows up, so I didn't freak folks out. It was so bad about a week ago I nearly did something I didn't want to do - as they say, a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Thankfully that desire passed - and it's not a thought I've ever thought before or since. This was brand new and it scared me. CT - I see what you mean - fear does ultimately underly the anger - I know exactly where my fear comes from, from a young age. I thought I had gone through this, done the forgiving, thought I had assimilated it. But apparently it was done on an intellectual level - enough to stay sober for 30 years, but finding that there was a final scab underlying everything that had yet to be ripped off. The anger just hadn't raised it's little head until now. I love the line in the movie "Hope Floats" where someone said 'Childhood is the thing we spend the rest of our lives getting over'. This actually comes to me often, this phrase - it gives me some solace and the knowledge that I'm not alone - that everyone goes through the same thing at various times. We're all victims of victims of victims. I could spend the rest of my life placing blame, but who am I blaming? The young boy in my father that was raised exactly the same way by his father? And his father? And ad infinitum....these tendencies just seem to be the Gift that Keeps on Giving, if you ask me. Sunny - my soul sister - thank you for the concept of blessing myself. I am going to physically do this somehow every morning and remind myself during the day to love myself as I try to love others. (Kind of a reversal of the original intent, but I need it now) - after all, we are all the same Creature, just different faces, if we embrace the concept of Oneness at all. Zanshin - funny, I do crave physical activity right now - it does help diminish the anguish. I have a craving to work out in some way, I bought some of those rubber cords with handles on the end and I've been using them. Feeling physically helpless hasn't been my problem, I'm well trained in self defense. But you're right - there is definitely a place for working this out physically in addition to better diet - I am doing this right now. At the very least, I'll be an angry person with buff arms Thank you everyone - I feel much love for each and every one of you, and for taking the time to respond to my crisis. Just the fact that I'm willing to share this with you is a marked improvement to my closeted snarlings of a few weeks ago. THANK YOU Barb

Without actively taking political sides, it's becoming increasingly apparent that power is knowing what people want to hear and delivering the words that fit the bill. What incredible times we're living in, K. The unenlightened power that sways the folks in this midwest part of the country is a real eye-opener for me...especially having been born and raised in California...