Songtsan

I might - it depends. Sometimes I am purely curious...."what's it like to try this?," etc...It's all for research purposes....going to write that book one day. Collecting stories and experiences. Trying to see through appearances, establish my own way without depending too heavily on others' belief systems. Exploration and innovation, re-creating wheels, seeing if I can expand the envelope, be free of the rules....

me too, but I often post my shenanigans as teaching tools for like minded fools who like to bend the rules, so that they can skip my own Tom-foolery....

I look for passive suffering techniques that run in the background while I go on about my life in ordinary ways....I dont have time to officially meditate right now. I am spending my energy on paying off debts so that I can then enter the monastery.

I was led to type this in conjunction with realizing further and deeper how our forced expressions leech energy from us and limit our lifespan. This was during watching a comedy show and laughing hysterically for a while, and feeling drained by the emotional reaction and then realizing that my life force was spent on entertainent vs. seeking liberation. Then my spiritual friends inserted the word 'mukti' into my head and I looked up the meaning in several webpages and came across this: http://www.godrealized.com/mukti_liberation.html which led me to conclude that if liberation can only happen within a single lifetime, it is advantageous to avoid seeking frivolous entertainment, instead, direct all energies towards realization. Jokes kill, should we avoid all entertainment? It would seem advantageous, if one were in a rush to deliver moksha.

This whole place, and all its Rat Races, including all spiritual pursuits, is just a giant prison system, and that the only way out is not to participate in the least. The exit strategy seems simple: -Cut off all efferent activity -Disassociate from all afferent activity -Withdraw into Self for all time Not that it isn't interesting out here, but its endless scenes of fascinations, an endless Sea of Fascination. This place will milk one of ones own essence, until one is bankrupt. If one withdrew ones energies back into the shell for all time, one would exist for time immemorial.. Now, one can also gain energies while one is here of course... The trick is to come and gain enough so that one can exist on the inside forever and a day.... How does one know when that point is reached though?

I am just a big lab experiment. Should I be averse to my own suffering? Making mistakes takes patience and time. Within the story that unfolds, lies my salvation.

I have this Maverick persona I know; makes people think I am a lazy layabout. Truth is I can't stay still. There is no rest for the wicked.

I work for a person, and have been for the last two years, doing light construction, environmental cleanup, trash hauling, heavy lifting, sorting, and I also a running my own business....I dumpster dive things and sell them on ebay/amazon and make a few hundred dollars a week sometimes from that...I stay busy as anyone here most likely....

I do buy real food. I am worried and trying to track down the cause of a weird sensation I get in my chest. I get my electrolytes checked often. I have been shown to be low in potassium before. Its possible though, that the weird sensation is GERD, or anxiety related.....also, athletes are often low in potassium. I push myself hard every day, sometimes bicycling for 3-4 hours, bodyweight training, yoga, etc. and I work hard physically, lifting, cutting down trees, hauling trash, so I am trying to fine tune things. Might have low sodium too....I'll figure it out....

thought constructs

I am just waiting to get off parole so I can start my spiritual journey in earnest. I have an 8pm - 8am curfew until the end of the year.....I really want to join a monastery badly. I a just soul weary.

I do real dirty work already, cleaning up garbage, dumpster diving, wading through poison ivy, I work hard every day, physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally. I put myself through hell daily. Karma Yoga.

Don't worry, I observe my arrogance all the time....its nearly ever present. Many people show their best face in public. I usually show my worst. I am a Heyoka. You seem awful stressed all the time in your posts. You should take things with a grain of salt. Your seriousness is an illness.

Conclusions are many and multifold. I should stop doing drugs for one, as they exacerbate the process. Going to also seek emptiness meditation. And avoid people. cant talk much now, gotta try to undo damage I have wrought

I notice many bums prefer anonymity for this reason. I thought black magic always backfires on the caster in the end, and depletes the sender of their own vital essence?

Yeah, but the amount is small....why not a 500 mg timed release? Remember...4500 mg per day

I was thinking in terms of adaptogens....and taking microamounts (homeopathic and expanding), and also realization through approaching aversion directly and learning to transmute it to bliss, so that all Samsara turns to Nirvana. No matter what, all lessons have value. I cannot see a single thing I have done wrong in my life, even though I can at the same time. You guys know I am insane scientist with this body So unattached! Yet attached!

Havent read all the replies...I was just alerting y'all to a state of mind I had today....it will not last - they never do....

THIS.

I keep getting a phrase inserted into my head from spirit sources, that sounds like 'Chin Gong,' or 'Chen Gong.' Does this mean anything?

...or maybe they are just trying to stroke my ego to get me into more Samsaric nets

that would be it....it was inserted during fantasies of mine where I had martial arts paranormal powers....they said that I was able to do do Qinggong in a former life

yeah, there are tons of foods with large amounts of potassium....spinach, avocados, yogurt, sweet potatoes, white beans, and more. It's just weird that they don't have a timed release version readily available, although I know where to buy em. RDA is 4700mg per day for 18 and older, but for me, it is probably around 5500mg...I know I don't eat enough of the foods that have it. http://www.amazon.com/BulkSupplements-Potassium-Gluconate-Powder-grams/dp/B00E7HDP8Q/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1434972812&sr=8-3&keywords=BulkSupplements+Pure+Potassium+Citrate