Songtsan

Also, I think that the law of opposite but equal reaction applies here - if you push a wall, the wall also pushes back at you - basic physics there In feeling rejected with my thread, I in turn had the opposite/equal reaction to reject you (mods, whatever) I have seen this play out here before with other sensitive individuals who had qigong illness, kundalini fire, etc. these people usually become like mirrors - reflecting the energies they perceive back to the sender (irregardless of the chance that the perceived rejection was a delusional percept) As I have stated before, I wanted to be able to show my soft underbelly to folks right out in the open - express my angst in public with the intent to ask for healing. Many indigenous cultures had a space for this In various spiritualist practices, including Voudon Gnostics, the act of allowing the darker entities to possess one is considered a healthy way to release pent up demons - the demons become expressed in public and the person achieves great healing This is in fact also part of the Christian Deliverance Ministry - you go up before the congregation and allow the demons to manifest before all and you admit their presence in you and how it was a choice you made (perhaps a generational sin passed down) I know that the Shamanistic Bon religion had some stuff similar to this. A study of the Mahasiddhas and Crazy Wisdom masters will also show that these things have been being done for countless generations Taobums seems to have a space for everything EXCEPT crazy wisdom Crazy wisdom isn't something that you know, it is something that you do/are those who haven't walked the path often cannot recognize its beauty and elegance Grace exists within all things, even the ugliest of the ugliest Seeing beyond dualities of acceptable/unacceptable only can lead to Nirvana in Samsara Its just been a major failure of this board that those who are undergoing the intense spiritual fire and are emanating destructive aspects of nature haven't been validated. I wish I could give you my understanding for just a second, but alas that is too difficult I've seen too many worthy individuals alienated from this community. I think there is a better solution Far be it for me to try to shape that which resists being shaped however. Daobums just seems a little cliquish nowadays Surrounding yourself with people that make you feel comfortable because they are just like you is healthy to some extent, but if you can't deal with averse situations and turn lemons into lemonade, you will never escape the wheel. A little controversy is good for the soul. Pampered pets become fat and lazy You guys are always welcome to constructively criticize me, just try not to label me. I wasn't trying to start a flame war or anything

I'm not attached to this place. I have seen through appearances enough to know that there is something just not quite right about this site. I think that it is corrupted by greed, propaganda, and is a place that has sold its soul. I feel sorry for the folks who spend their energy here, seeking a place of safety and security, only to be told they are not good enough, that they just don't fit. Honestly, I think this place has been taken over by people with selfish intentions... There is so much more to it than I can say. Suffice to say, I think that I was mislead about what this community was really about. I am going to go somewhere where there is a body of individuals who truly understand compassion and what it means to provide a place to heal. I've spent my whole life training with healers and teachers who had true hearts and I don't see that among the mods here. I know good people when I see them...and I know when people are presenting false fronts. I'm going to officially opt out and if you want to make it all nice and groovy, please ban me permanently and forever more. I came for support and got shitted upon in my darkest times when I needed support. This is no community of healers, it's a False Front. I've been close to killing myself very often in these last few years and people here have shown that they have no knowledge of bodhichitta...I think that the truth will always reveal itself in the end.

Honestly, I think I can do better than this place...I will not waste any more time/energy/love in this obviously corrupted site.

haha you guys are funny...I'm just being myself is all. Its my nature to be myself and whatnot!

Word. I would expect nothing less.

I am in complete and utter agreement with you. Since I was a child I was invaded by these things, and I have had plenty of dreams where I was a vampire living under basement, or in some crazy Gothic mansion which was owned by a master vampire, and in these dreams I was made to feel like this was my home and that being a creature of the night was what felt safe...it was only after I was sexually molested that this stuff occurred. So the vampires can vector through intimate touching. Before this happened, I was a child of light and a true innocent... Afterwards the demons inserted all kinds of nasty, negative images and scenes into my dreams both sleeping and awake to corrupt my mind and fascinate me...they revel in creating urges to destroy good people.

But of course! The yous and mes outside and the yous and mes inside...and then their are all the other levels/frequencies of which we are unaware of too, who knows what's going on there? Inside is outside and outside is inside. Locality is a choice made by gods

I think demons are repressed passive aggressive selves that have been shut down and built up pressure and then become forces of nature within the self....when let loose they do what they original intent was planned. So, for example....if you feel a strong urge to punch someone in the face, but suppress it, you actually had a production of signaling molecules or thought expressions which were formed to create that action. Should you keep the ammo in check, it still runs around in the system, perhaps becoming refined or added to as similar situations create like desire/intents. They become 'karmic burdens' as they were mind-created executioners (of functions) which take on personalities of demons (desires to kill, enslave, rape, steal, etc. - little micro programs encapsulated - like little robots you created to fulfill missions)....however if they are kept in check/held back, they start to conglomerate and form personalities within the matrix of available personalities, and are part of a 'Legion' of available demons within. Basically I am saying that each person is a God, can will the creation of thought-constructs within their own Universe After all the universe is simply the sum of all that is known and out there (the little Universe) Each Human being is a miniature Universe, with their 'I' God-head creator, and all the little other selves that it creates daily... So all the selves I create (including my representations of you guys) have their own little personalities So thats the microverse. Then you have the macroverse of beings - infinite little microverses all communicating and interacting with eachother....

When I die, I want my friends and family to eat me, like Stranger in a Strange Land, so that they can absorb the subtle essence of my spirit that lives in my cells...I will make sure to put some muscle on me so that I can have a few good strips of meat left.... sorry if this offends anyone, but I am descended from the Mohawk tribe. Mohawk translates as 'Man-eater' roughly. They ate people of Importance, knowing that the soul stayed in the body for sometime after death, and that to eat of the flesh of the deceased would bring their spirit into you so you could live on in your family. You are what you eat. I want to to be a part of my loved ones when I die, so that I will actually not die, and live in their bodies. There is talk on the web that people receiving organ transplants are having flashes of memory not their own. That is because the memory cells, neurons, run through our organs....memories are kept in the cells and it is possible to experience others memories subtly by eating them...

There is a price for every pleasure. Nothing is as bittersweet as this place and time, for we all have hate and love in our hearts intertwined.

Thank you my fellow anarchist....The Pit is simply not treated right. It's growth is being curtailed by fear and aversion. it's very name is an attempt to avoid the bitter dregs of Reality. In order to completely accept reality, you must eat it all. You must see, hear, smell, taste, feel, and experience the EVIL/DARK/YIN/CHAOS parts of the world in order to understand it. Never shrink from the face that you see in front of you, be it yourself or someone else, including me. If you reject, you automatically create an equal and opposite reaction in another, but you also simultaneously create an equal rejection of your own self, for all selves are all the same. This is in accords with Daoist principles.

I also think that your desire for calm/sanity is an illness - you are averse to experiencing or hearing about suffering. That is not the way - too avoid nature is not of the Tao. Nature is suffering and bliss wrapped into one.

and its not 'dumping' - its expressing hidden/repressed/suppressed fears/paranoias/etc. so that they can be brought to light, examined, realized for what they are, and transcended. It's a record of the actual experience that people all over the world go through in their heads - which might gel with someone else's experience upon reading it and teach them a thing or two, or spark a conversation between two people who are alike in nature and might have an affinity for each other's views/experiences

I would, of course.

Agree...I so miss doing massage..its like dancing. I have a table that hasnt been used hardly at all. I feel like my soul is missing. I need to get back in the healing arts, but my energy is polluted and i cant stop the polluted energy from being channelled through my hands so i avoid touching others.

I think one of the best ways to develop R/L balance is to always make sure you can do everything equally well on both sides....whether it be dancing, brushing teeth, drumming, or writing - you should train twice as hard so that you build more R/L balance. So, as I have said before - train the weak link in the chain. this will keep things balanced.

Yeah this isn't the first time I have posted something like this - I keep coming back to it in excitement because of how fruitful it is

I been doing that for years....also try using cellphone with other hand....

Also, my thoughts on how huge swarms/schools of birds/fishes/etc. are able to move around in sync is that they connect with eachother through Groupmind effects. Reduce Groupmind effects makes populations easier to control.

Good point - there IS something special about the pineal gland though. My thoughts are that it has to do with the 100th monkey effect - the Groupmind, etc. so that dimming it down, you make people less able to tap into Groupmind knowledge. Divide and separate by using chemical means to reduce Groupmind effect. Then use propaganda to create 'drones' who are good at doing what they are told....

I'm thinking of trying out this idea I had where a have a digital canvas print and then paint over it as if the digital print is the underpainting.... does it look neat?

yeah...only reason I haven't already done it is that I have so little energy left

Consciousness takes place In the here and in the now No back no front

Oh come on, give it a go! Are you afraid to be embarrassed? Worried it will take too long to write your grocery lists? Play a little!

I bought the rights to the bodhisattva image off of a stock photo site. The original image had a background with some trees and stuff, which I removed...but anyways no legal issues...I could have it printed on canvas for about $130. Then the hard part would be color mixing. I also bought a nice pic of Tiger's Nest monastery which I might take a shot at too. Really what I want to try is to get a nice digital camera and take peoples portraits and print them out and over paint them... Adding texture would be easy - just use some drywall compound and sculpt it, then paint over that...