Songtsan

They say that if you bring the Suns' light through your eyes and receive it into your heart over a full day that you will become enlightened. Is that true?

I've seen that...it's like a 'mind tentacle' that grasps for something in the perceived present, or the perceived future...its feels like an energy sink. Waiting is exactly it...staying at a center, keeping all energies introverted, yet maintaining outward acts of good virtue to karmically fit the present moment...staying relaxed, keeping to the center.... And then there is the rapid shuffling of awareness from internal to external, when it's required, such as when needing to go into absorption on objects to keep safe in the real world, otherwise circulating the energy and healing the organs while keeping tabs on things from a distance...

I italicized the word light because we don't actually see the actual light...we see the light of our own awareness. The photons transmit the information through transduction in the way of dominoes, but it merely shifts the frequency/amplitude of the standing wave patterns of awareness which already are in play. So we can't really see the light of the sun, something else is doing that for us...the sense gate of the eyeballs... To get to the point, I have had the thought running through my head that sun gazing and sun worship is of importance...I am thinking of traditional Native American religions, among others....it's on the back burner right now though...

Somehow I totally glossed over this post, or I would have replied earlier...probably cause I am usually viewing TTB from a cellphone with a cracked screen... I hear what you are saying and approve in spirit. What you guys don't know about me is that I usually only post the worst of what's going on with me here, and don't often share the best. In real life, I spread this type of knowledge with all of my friends and in therapy. I just assume that there are enough people here who can give good advice that I don't need to be one of the good energy givers here...I play Devil's advocate more often, Wrathful Deity style... In real life I try to balance self and other interest about 50/50 - which I consider true equanimous compassion without going overboard. Let me give you an example of how it could go overboard.... A little over two months ago I took in two heroin addicts who had no place to live - they have finally found their own place, and it was very stressful for me, so I was being very altruistic, especially considering that I am on parole (you wouldn't believe the stress and anxiety this caused)...I did this out of what I thought was a sense of compassion. It was based on superficial reaction, which is what people are often reacting to when responding to others on the internet....I learned a big lesson though in that I was simply enabling those guys to continue on their path of misery...In any event, lesson learned. I often have zero dollars in my wallet, and don't eat enough, yet I will still end up giving up what little money I have out of a misplaced sense of caring...I have done this at least six times in the last 6 months....I thought I was a compassionate person, but all I was doing was enabling these others street people to go buy drugs....I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve to some extent and am easily drawn into to others' chosen wheels of suffering. I believe that we all choose our own suffering. I know that I chose mine now. I used to make excuses, but I am now certain that I put myself exactly here through the choices that I have made. This is why I am very business like. It is up to me tot get myself out of my own hell realms. I put myself here because of my own reifying habitual urge expressions... I have in my mind a plan to 'healer heal thy self' by fast tracking very soon to forming a very clean and pure habit body so that I may then may teach others. I have found that by trying to help others when you are 'down' is not so useful, because I lack the wisdom to make that compassion useful. Compassion without wisdom is not the best. It can lead to compounded suffering. I do have compassion, and I feel it daily. It is still a confused one though and oft gets me into deeper karmic debt than out of it...I don't know how many times I have fallen trying to help others when I have not been able to help myself.. So I will save acting through compassion until it is the opportune moment, which will hopefully be in a few years at the most...not so long, eh? Right now, what I need is for people to help me help myself. That is it. It is OK to be selfish if one is selfishly seeking self-cultivation to gain virtue... Those who have succeeded on the path I am treading are in the position to help me. Half the time I try to help people with less understanding than me it backfires. This is why I am waiting. I need this time to cultivate so that I can start sharing the good stuff.

So here is where I am today: Ideal practice: Develop the Habit Body over and over (at least a few hundred days straight while sublimating all desires) to approach non-stealing, non-harming, non-mis-use of sexual energy, non-lying, and non drug-use and to create a firm and flourishing Desire Body...which will execute its functions perfectly, desiring to do so, while I turn the light of awareness back towards itself during all hours. This includes: -Relaxation in all movements and postures -Awareness of all imbalances, resulting in auto-correction through Wu Wei principles -Engendering compassion for all beings -Maintaining disciplined focus in exerting energy to correct imbalances, using 5-pointed Star (Head and limbs extending towards all directions)

On this topic, as I am practicing non-identification with body/mind/ego, I don't see how any of this matters. Endless sea of forms and reifying complexes....Only a reifying ego could label 'something as a some thing' I am moving away from Desire Body (eventually).

This has convinced me! Yes....I feel the faith now that these things 'should' stop - I have before and now do again....I think I got hijacked by my mind for a long spell, but this has really escalated the process towards 'home that I never left.' This is cool - thank you for That.

This is exactly my mindset...we are totally on the same page. I enter into this space because I consider this a major portion of my groupmind. You guys are all other facets of me and we build each other up...it's like a 'Mind Mountain' that is arising out of the Trueness and the boulders and scree that falls off during the process of the rising are the ideas and concepts which are not tenable...

That's an oxymoronic statement, in that labeling yourself as nonjudgmental is a judgement, as judging is the same as labeling. If you speak, you are judging...it is impossible to speak a single sentence without judging, as this is inherent in mindtalk...All that is in mind is judgmental in that mind weighs and compares, labels and defines.

I'm playing at being a DJ tonite....(it sucks to be locked inside because of parole curfews, especially on Friday night! )

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ze-S5Wz0iTc

I know that most of the thoughts I have, if not all, are due to attachment to ownership of the body/mind complex and all of its associated attributes...it would make perfect sense to drop these attachments... I only stop in occasionally lately to voice doubts or questions...generally I am fairly centered and applied in my self cultivation efforts...I allow these decompression (of a sorts) phases to occur using a 'just in case' model

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gmXrgGqQMnM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t2cpmTKb-2g

Sometimes though, I wish I could truly avoid doubt and develop faith in a single well worn path so that I could just travel along it and see where it got me, instead of constantly vacillating between them and even trying to supersede them. At the same time, this desire is born of fear and even desperation - in thinking that if I don't hurry up and choose I may not 'make it.' In letting go of this fear, I find myself content to continue questioning. However, I find that doubt could easily disappear along with other things were I to stop thinking. This I do not doubt. What I do doubt is that not thinking will truly show the truth as the sages say. I think that this indicates that I am unsure whether or not that we can directly perceive reality with this naked perception. That we may simply be tricked into believing this...hmmm..

Yeah, all these states I experience are thought derived or thought initiated... Obviously I just need that empty mind state.... but is there something beyond just empty mind? Or is empty mind with awareness sufficient to take one to the fount of all things needed. So I am still stuck in thought land, due to the fact that I want to be sure that there is no special goal or focus or technique that I should hold onto before I 'disappear' - am I being a 'fool'?

I will check these out, but as a fellow paranoid (schizoaffective), I am allowing myself to enter these states in order to understand them, so I do not seek to cover up or otherwise assuage feeling states...I want to discover their root source

I could listen to this forever

Strangely, I find myself attracted to the Kriya Yoga tradition, of which there is a group here in town that is of exactly the lineage that I was initiated in in 1998 or so....such a wild crazy journey, and I am only 38....who knows what will happen. Belief systems, gotta love 'em. And practice, it's what makes the wheel go round. Right now I am still trying this: Full body relaxation, calming the outward flowing energies.. Observe thoughts, follow their traces back to their origin... Find who it is that is aware, and try to follow it backwards...try to remove the energy from the eyes and ears as recommended in the Secret of the Golden Flower I try not to mess with the energy, although I feel it moving all over my body, in LDT, MDT, hands/legs, and nei wan.... I find myself with symptoms of Qigong illness - delusions of aliens, demons, gods, I am now trying to not attach to those rising constructs....finding out deeply rooted fear, based on my own possession of the body