Songtsan

Yes, a sensitivity...once bitten twice shy...a little defensive - this is true...but I suppose if one is in accord with the Tao, then one can in a way always be ready for anything without preparing at all. I wonder - say if you are in accord with the Tao, and you get robbed every time you travel along a certain road, by the same group of bandits. Let's say its the only way to get to work Now...you have to go to work, right? Let's just pretend yes. Would the person who lives from Taomind be prepared for whats going to happen, or would they still just be in Tao and deal with it fresh every time, without freezing up in expectation?

There is a Yulong Snow Mountain and a Yulong river I noticed....

Here is the truth right now then: I ate too much sugar and I feel horrible! Chewy smarties! yum! but oh, now I pay the price....I need to find forgiveness for myself for doing this to my body...

Forgive your enemies, but be wary of second knives in the back. Or...enemies help us build our thick skins! Can't have too thick of a skin around this place!

I agree - I think its healthy to express anger directly at the person you are angry at (in a socially respectable manner of course). Being angry at someone and simply shutting them off is a far more immature way of handling something, especially if your intent is to be sincere. It always comes back to absolutism - people should remember not to view others in absolute terms - this always leads to throwing out the baby with the bath water.

Actually I should have not even used the word 'learning' at all...either one of these is something that everyone does naturally, no learning required. If we say 'learning' what we really mean is 'seeking to be' or 'have' or 'do.' Everyone already knows how to forgive, we have all done it before at least once - so I don't think its about learning so much as doing/being. I'd like to say that its a choice, but really its an 'isness' you either forgive or you don't. Of course no one is absolute about anything. Part of us forgives, and part of us holds the grudge still. Grudges fade over time, and so does forgiveness, once it has had its way. After a while, the forgiveness has occurred and disappears into acceptance, which was the original state between friends. So another way to look at it is simply acceptance/rejecting.

...and the re-shaping never ends...Snake keeps on eating its own tail forever and ever. When we stop seeking to reshape is probably when we attain wu wei, actionless action, directionless direction, becomingless becoming. When the mind fabrications end, we stop trying to shape reality according to our mind map, and instead let reality shape our mind - to best fit reality moment by moment. All willful attempts to shape reality are ultimately delusional. None of us should even be here on this site I think to myself half the time. When we exchange our ego mind for Taomind, we are in league with the Tao instead of fighting the current, and all changes that should occur will occur at the exact right moment, with no prior planning. This is my goal. They do say that we should attain this state of nondoing through doing, that when we have lost the primordial energy through gathering contrived energy, we must walk the path of doing to attain nondoing - to return to our source progenitor. The loss of innocence. Sometimes I feel so ashamed of my ego mind and its vanities. This is what I would like to destroy - yet in seeking to destroy it, I must first use it itself to destroy itself. So confounding! Destroy the destroyer! Destruction, the act of destruction, and that which is destroyed become one....lol I can see it all in theory, but it is all meaningless in reality because the map is not the territory - I am starting to bore myself with all this talk...when philosophy becomes redundant, you are simply working for the Department of Redundancy Department. Someone please destroy me! Who ever knew that destruction could be so difficult? I always thought it was easy....it is (in the material world), but to destroy ones own mind is the most difficult thing....

It's not so much about destruction/creation, as energy cannot be destroyed or created...it merely changes form. So what it is really about is shaping. Or perhaps transforming. As society evolves, we all shape each other. That is why Buddhists say that we all co-create each other. No one creates themselves 100%, no matter how much we all would like to be able to do so. We each have a hand in each others destiny, to some degree or other. Every word I say on this site, will shape those who read it, and even effect future shapings. I am sure that I have made whole threads in response to single posts that I have read others make in other threads, and my threads created posts which influenced other people's threads and the same for everyone else. These words we speak here echo in our heads as we go about our business during the day, and likely influence our actions in myriad of ways. When you think of the complexities of interdependent co-origination, you begin to understand that the shaper, the act of shaping, and that which is shaped are all one being. We truly are each other in a grand scheme of things. So when I make efforts to shape someone else, or they me, we are actually shaping ourselves. No single persons ideal shall be the top dog, we co-aim towards shared ideals in fact.

lol very punny! takes one to know one....

I thought the topic was repudiation and tearing down/building up? That's what I was talking 'bout....

I am definitely one who thinks that there is a place for repudiation. If I had had a strong role model in my life - someone to actually discipline me when I was young, I would have turned out differently. It has taken me many years extra to learn things that most parents teach their children. I am still suffering from this lack of building a strong moral character, with a sense of honor and duty. I have often wished that I had had Japanese parents (to a degree). I basically grew up as white trash, barely parented at all. I think it is good when people in a community hold others to task. That is half the reason I do/say the things I do when confronted with 'unacceptable behaviors' in others, although I may not be the most gentle of beings when I do this.

I believe that when one enters a state of divine mind, that everything becomes divine, so much so that it could be said that everything is deity. That is why I like the Tibetan practice of viewing the world as a mandala, and all beings as mandala deities. One simply imposes the divine archetype onto everyone, and this is greeted by gods/goddesses everywhere one goes, which is quite the treat.

I always saw consciousness expansion/contraction as being a continuum of either being mostly aware of incoming sense perceptions, without much mind chatter and analysis, or only being partially aware of incoming real-time data, and being more lost in memories/analysis/contemplation/false assumptions/etc. The degree one lives outside of mind = the degree one lives in Taomind. The degree one lives outside of Taomind = the degree one lives in ego-mind. Although I also know that in certain times, the sum entirety of consciousness can expand and include more overall inputs (whether it be internal/external). I would say that I am usually deeply entrenched in my ego-mind, but with a real ongoing awareness of what is going on in the reality of the 6 senses, so that I don't miss anything. If I need to suddenly be on top of something, I am there quick as a flash...so I definitely am usually internally focused - introverted as they say, yet able to snap back to real-time immediately. I don't know that I can answer your question adequately.

Basically, everyone is crazy. Everyone is delusional, and everyone has a mind that is full of insane thought constructs. Of course, since there is this thing called the law of averages, or 'the mean,' what that means is that although everyone is crazy, it is okay to be insane (as long as you fall within standard norms). Now let's look at this bell graph here: http://www.anseo.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/bell_curve.gif Notice that past the 96th percentile there exists what is called "beyond two standard deviations." this is about where I exist (a little bit before it fortunately - I am exaggerating for stylistic emphasis). So, you may be asking yourself, "That's interesting, but what does that have to do with anything?" Here's the point: since I exist in this land of craziness, beyond where most of you guys do, I have seen with my own eyes that the mind is basically a polluted, chaotic, insane nest of irrationalities. You might say to yourself, "yes, I already know that…" However, I can assure you that I know this more than most people on this website. There is what's called "strength of knowing" AKA "degree of gnosis" What this means is that there are levels and levels of knowing, which can be rated, or analyzed, but basically it's about level of intensity. The more you are approached with this madness in your mind, the more you get to know what madness is like. I'd like to explain this a little bit further… Say, for example, I am interrupted daily by voices in my head, thought insertions, thought deletions, irrational anxieties, paranoias, thought constructs from hell, etc. etc. then one must conclude that if I am able to maintain awareness of the state while it is happening, I must have noticed a pattern by now in all my years of living with this crazy stuff. Indeed I have! I know that this stuff that comes out of my mind is inherently, and deviously, insane and irrational. What I have been doing lately is exploring myself, even to my own detriment (i.e. by allowing the craziness to consume me for the purposes of research and identifying what's wrong with both myself and humanity in general). What I experience is the same as you guys, just stronger and more bizarre, but at its root its just more illusion. That's why I like to think of my mental disorder as simply emotional intensity disorder, whether it be high or low. Before I go further, I am going to interrupt this discussion with an analogy.let's talk about 'degrees of infinity.' Let's assume that you have a universe full of empty space. Now, we fill it with infinite bags of marbles. Each bag contains three red marbles and two blue marbles. These bags exist ad infinitum, meaning the space is now filled to the brim. Meaning there are infinite bags of marbles here, there and forever more. Now you might think at first, that since there are infinite bags of marbles, that the red and blue marbles are exactly equal in their infinity. No they are not! This is what's called degrees of infinity. This is a mathematical explanation, which will give you some insight into the matrix of our reality. Since the red marbles outnumber the blue marbles each step of the way, this means that there will always be more red marbles than blue marbles. Although there are infinite red and blue marbles, the intensity of the red marbles will always be stronger. This is what is meant by the term 'degree' - it is synonymous with intensity. [back to the story:] So what I am saying is this: we are definitely all insane, but my degree of insanity is probably greater than most of yours, on average. In a nutshell, I am saying that since I use drugs (i.e. entheogens, hallucinogens, disassociative drugs, prescription drugs, etc.), and since I also have predisposing factors that influence my mind (mental illness stemming from genetics, etc.), I have probably experienced peak crazy states that blow yours out of the water. They are beautiful illusions, but meaningless in the end. They are still just more mind illusions. So how does this help us? You may ask… Well, basically if I can become enlightened, then anyone can! I'm not saying that I am an enlightened master at all! What's happening is that the Kundalini Shakti has been guiding me my whole life towards gnosis, towards unification of all that is mind. This process is not yet completed, however it is close enough that I can see for myself where I will end up. Believe if you will, or disbelieve as you will- but it appears to be so. However, this is where we get to the point of this thread: Enlightenment is simply another perception attainment. Agree or disagree? Even the Buddhists argue over this one. They definitely agree that the 7 jhanas are perception attainments, and of course all manner of 'insane mind states' are also simply perception attainments (although usually no one in their 'right mind' would want to go there). So knowing that pretty much all that exists in mind is a perception, that no matter what we have experienced in life is simply a perception attainment, can we talk about what Nirvana is? Is it just another attainment? Or is it beyond perception? Does it not rely on perception at all? Some Buddhists argue that it is just another state of perception, albeit one linked with the truest truth there is, and so the least delusional mind state of all, whereas others say that perception ends altogether and something basically miraculous and unknowable occurs, i.e. that which must be entered and which cannot be known. Does anyone have any scientific analysis of what Nirvana might be? Just out of curiosity. I don't pretend to believe that it can actually be known through mind, as it lies beyond mind as they say, but I just want to come as close as possible to the zenith in the mind-verse. Back to insanity. Many people are afraid of insane individuals. Insanity, in a nutshell is simply extreme and uncontrolled emotions - emotions so strong that they force one to do, well insane things... ...so do you think I am insane? ...do you think you are insane? Have you ever been controlled by your emotions, instead of them controlling you? (I know I have!) Is insanity simply the level (intensity) of uncontrolled emotions (chemicals!)? Beyond 2 standard deviations from the norm? Is there a fix? Should one harness the emotional energy and use it for good (makes sense!)... This is what sublimation is all about....this is why I am writing books and posting on websites...it keeps me from running around in my head like the lunatics taking over the asylum. If I could send all that energy down to my dantien I would be in the clear, wouldn't I? (don't worry it's in the works). Sorry to ramble - I am just searching for completion here...there must have been a point...Ah yes, this mostly stream-of-thought post was about attaining some gnosis during the act of posting it. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. I can't seem to hit that spot, so I will end here. Perhaps my mistake will be a lesson for others...who knows... Is God insane? If we live in an insane universe, and God created the universe, it would seem so. What happens when we run out of insane ideas? If my questions end, what begins next? When my brain tires itself out, trying to understand everything, will Krishna come? Is it time for me to join a monastery? (I don't think any of them would have me, but it would be nice) I would put this in a personal practice forum, but my practice is thinking right now... I almost thought of not posting this, but I figured what the hell... It brings me to the conclusion that, as they say, "There is nothing to do." Do nothing. Allow nature/Tao to do everything. Wu wei. When one realizes that the mind is no longer needed, except for stuff like planning weddings and paying the bills, is this when wu wei is attained?

I have finally figured out the big deal. What happens is this: When I feel that others like me, it is so magnified that I really think others like me, and I do/say things that are stupid and get my self in trouble. When I feel that others don't like me, I really feel that that they don't like me, and I do/say things that are really stupid. Everything gets magnified a bunch of times. It has been this way my entire life, regardless of whether or not I have been using drugs, or on prescription drugs. I have destroyed numerous relationships because I took things to heart - way beyond their actual intended force. I have entered into unhealthy relationships because I also took things way to heart, and have gone and devoted myself to people that weren't in my best interest. I have also scared people off when they indicated that they liked me by feeling that they really liked me, and coming back at them with this intensity and assuming that I could do no wrong with them, and this makes people feel that I am unbalanced. Everything is magnified. Everything is intensified. Walking down the street, and hearing people laugh, I get paranoid, and think that people are laughing at me. When I am feeling great and really gung ho about something - I feel so strongly that I think/feel that others must share my joy, and I try to spread the good news and get way too excited about something - kind of like when you hear a killer song for the first time and you feel that that song is the bomb - you want everyone you know to hear it to - you text all your friends, or whatever - it is just like that. It's not like I haven't noted this before - its just that it really finally clicked what was going on. I used to naturally protect myself from the effects of this by being really insular and introverted - the strong silent type...when I started becoming more socially adept and confident in myself, is when I started getting out of control sometimes. It wouldn't usually be as bad with good friends, because they were used to me, but with people I just met, I could scare them off one way or another. I don't think this applies to normal, stable individuals as much as others, but it certainly must apply on occasions. Feelings lie to us - if we always trust them, we make fools out of ourselves. I must apologize to those on this board I have done this to. You know who you are.

I am seriously writing a book on all kinds of cultivation stuff, SO: If you think I am wrong about anything I am talking about and you can change my mind, please go ahead, as I sincerely do not want to disseminate disinformation! Please argue with me the best you can, because only this will help my book....anything I talk about here (except the jokey joker stuff) will be in the book, so don't be shy to attack me. I like it! Whip me, beat me, put me in chains! (As long as you have the key to the lock though).

I believe that Taomind is equivalent to Brahma. I suppose if we are God, we may simply be playing games in the infinite amount of time we possess as divine immortality, and this is why the illusions come up.

Find a feeling of relaxation within the pressure. Breath lightly into this space, relax all facial muscles, do a whole body scan to check for muscle tension anywhere and everywhere, especially in the neck. Then get back to the one-pointed focus you have chosen (if that's what you are doing). If you want 'hot yang chi' (mind invigorating) in your head, focus up top, if you want cooler, more relaxing Yin energies, focus down lower around the navel perhaps.

You tired Chinese? You go home now!

yes and no...I have spent much time in customer service believe it or not, and I did well as an introvert. You can adapt to anything. Ideally though, it would be healthier for certain people to only be around people that they gelled with. Sometimes however, as in my case (being an introvert and socially immature for my age), you will grow as a person. It's much like karma yoga. If you are constantly stressed out and it goes on and on, day after day, do not hesitate to look elsewhere for work.

All I know is that I love myself and if others choose not to love me, well then I have no problem with that. I will keep on keepin' on. I don't know what I want, but I know how to get it!

I am a late entry to this thread, but I have some experience...I was a trained Reiki Master III, and I also studied polarity therapy and Barbara Brennan's school of light theories. Had many friends in NM who were energy healers, and saw a lot of quacks too. Was given a lot of 'treatments' by some South American spiritual healers when I worked at a holistic healing center. The bottom line is that you can't pay for some magic gift to be given to you (like Reiki). There are a lot of well meaning bullshitters out there - they believe on the surface that what they are doing is real, but underneath they know they are scamming. They excuse themselves in myriad ways. There are people in the world who are real energy healers, but they are few and far between. A lot of what goes on in the normal world is psychosomatic. To truly be able to send your chi into another persons system takes much cultivation. Many would like to believe that they are energy healers - they make up these stories in their heads about themselves, but they are no such thing. I have worked with shamanic psychologists, acupuncturists who believed they were real, but they could do nothing for me. Marketing yourself as a healer is tricky. Trust me - been there - done that. I will do it again someday when its time. The best thing to do, if you are smart is to become your own doctor - research your problems - learn the causes, find the solutions within. I know this has been said already in this thread, I just wanted to state it again. You are your own best healer. Don't give your power (and your $$) away to someone else, unless they have a magnanimous resume (like Yan Xin for example)....If you are serious about helping yourself, you can always post here and I will try to help. I am in the knowing of a lot of things. I can teach you self energy healing, self-massage, and self acupressure...it won't cost you a dime, because I like to give my chi away or else it will burn my brain....

That's already been happening all along...I finally decided to just let the flood carry me along, and now the flood is a river that pushes me to and fro - where I end up, well who's to know? I don't think I care anymore. Not in a bad way, but in a happy way - a trusting way, that things will work out in the end. I realized long ago that what's most important to do in life is to expand the boundaries of possibilities. To not be afraid of ego death. The things that could happen to me are boundless, yet I mainly express my insanity on the interpersonal plain - not in the real world. I come here to give up the ghost - the ghost of fear. Fear of myself, fear of what others will think of me. These are the anxieties that have been filling my mind all of my life. I can't live each day with such anxieties, so I am doing special things with the matrix to find absolution within my self. No one else can give me this. I can beg and pander to everyone else's wishes all day long, but that would just leave me a servant to their needs. No longer will I be a ghost in the machine. I will sit on top of the machine and fiddle with the gears...Reminds me of Lee Scratch Perry - he was doing a reggae concert with some other Rastas and he started fiddling with the controls. Boy did they get mad. He didn't give a you know what. He used to have these shoes he wore that had marbles glued to the top, and all kinds of knicky knackies - its true - you can look it up...lol I only know it because I actually lived with this jazz singer who's brother was like the drummer or bassist for Herbie Hancock's group, and she met him personally and heard the story. Fools are always protected in magical ways. I don't think anyone is going to come around the corner and beat me up at least.

there is a master plan for each body!

I am trying it out, with the feeling that if I indulge just enough i will realize something big. I may be a fool, but the fool is a divine archetype. I no longer care what people think of me. If I did, I would become a shadow puppet. I feel that the only way I can break through my niggardly self is to explode that self from within by pushing all my energy through it in a cathartic way. If I alienate myself from others, but find God within and without, I consider that a fair trade. If that were to happen, i could spend the rest of my life in atonement and make do fine. In order to succeed on the crazy wisdom path, which is at the core of who I am and always has been, one must devote oneself fully, and hold nothing back. This is my aim and intent. I am already committed, and in fact I jumped off that cliff a long time ago and just didn't fully realize it. Now is the time for me to rip the band-aid off quickly, as I have better things to do than play reindeer games in the trenches of the ego. Feuerstein equates the Avadhuta with the 'sacred fool': "The crazy wisdom message and method are understandably offensive to both the secular and the conventional religious establishments. Hence crazy adepts have generally been suppressed. This was not the case in traditional Tibet and India, where the "holy fool" or "saintly madman" [and madwoman] has long been recognized as a legitimate figure in the compass of spiritual aspiration and realization. In India, the avadhuta is one who, in his [or her] God-intoxication, has "cast off" all concerns and conventional standards." -------- "The ninth-century Indian philosopher Adi Shankara also described that an enlightened man may act like a Jadvat (an inert thing), a Balvat (child), an Unmat (a manic) or a Pissachvat (ghost)." --------- "The appellation "avadhuta," more than any other, came to be associated with the apparently crazy modes of behaviour of some paramahamsas, who dramatize the reversal of social norms, a behaviour characteristic of their spontaneous lifestyle. ------- you get the point...I have to say that this is who I am, and I certainly didn't plan it this way...I simply ended up like this. Who am I to fight nature? I'll just eat it as it comes. It's not like I have anything to fear - If I mess up, I'll just be in the wheel again..so I am covered.