Songtsan

well - it's sort of like journaling too...also, if something has been in your head, say for example "I want to go skydiving!" and you keep seeing it popping up, you should just go and do it. Get it off your chest. I always wanted to publish a book, and thats wutimagonnado! It doesnt matter if it sells or not...it will complete my karmic needs...

vinegar in bowls throughout the house. If he ever feels like vomiting, tell him not to hold back. Sage/sweetgrass burning. Potent incense. Drink water blessed by holy Sheikhs, or other verified exorcists.

I think it's important to merge all the deities into one deity. Unless you merge them, you will never attain mergence with yourself. That is why I constantly try to melt them into each other. I would have to say that Shakti takes the point focus in the end. Shakti can become anything, or anyone, so basically it all falls into her/he/it. It's all Chi in the end. Shakti invigorates the Chi that you are and creates whatever you want it, deities included. In the end, I intend to merge myself into my deity self and become one self. One with chi, one with vital essence, no demarcations.

Groupmind NLP! It works - can cause wars and shut down power plants...let's to some TTB magic to do something neat we should yes. I don't haz any cheezbrugers 2!

As much as I have used this site (and its beautiful peoples) for process work in the last few months, I am going to have donate something to this place, as it/you/they has presented me with much knowledge and spiritual growth. I may be unemployed and destitute financially, but even if I have to go collect some bottles off the street to turn in for nickels to make some energy exchange, this is something I will do soon! This site is the type of multi-person I would like to be! Feed the fish...lol

'Yulongbr'...That's an interesting name.. what ethnicity is it? It almost sounds Mongolian....hmmmm.

I haven't played with kettlebells too much, thought I have much respect for them. I tend to avoid swinging myself because it 'distracts' (i.e. pulls apart) the joints, and I have very hypermobile joints as it is...so it's not for me..I keep my tendons in line. People with a more dense connective tissue should focus more on mobility and flexibility, whereas people who already have the flexibility should focus on standing strong and moving with intention, without coming apart.

My deity/self is a combination of Padmasambhava, a little bit of Buddha, Avalokitesvara (Chenrezig), MahaShakti (who = Durga, Kali, etc.), and a few wrathful deities (and some Demon Kings!) thrown into the pot. It has a constantly shifting face, sort of like this Krishna picture: http://www.oneness4all.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/krishna16.jpg

Thats a good philosophy...train at the zone that is challenging, but not too challenging. You want to be somewhere that creates an exercise-adaptation response, without creating such a stressor that you will not look forward to exercising next time. Also, cardio only needs to be done in increments of 10 minutes (not including warm/cool-down measured by heart rate)...so you can cross-train..go do a circuit, do some cardio, do another circuit, more cardio, etc. Be creative - don't punish yourself - push yourself, yes, but not in a S&M kind of way. This isn't the army. It's all about you, not the other guy. Find the perfect place to be, where you at least maintain, and grow here and there, and all will be fine.

Someone may have thought/said this...but 'valid' for what? All paths lead somewhere. Do you want to go along all paths? Not me. Probably not you either! If you mean do all paths lead to same goal, then yes, eventually - even thousands of years from now. You can sacrifice someone and end up in heaven way down a long road, but in reality you will see hell first (and probably get sacrificed a few times your self). Get the grand tour. The reason that certain common cliches exist is because they are wisdom from the ages, such as the Golden rule, look before you leap, that kind of thing. If one distills the quintessential wisdom from all major religions/spiritual paths, one can create a pretty good system. I am not including systems like black magic, Satanism, etc. they may have some wisdom, but they are flawed and corrupted. Nondualism proposes that all paths whose goal is the truth converge into the truth. I believe it is possible, but I cannot experience all paths in one lifetime, so I will not venture further than to say that.

I think everyone should have their own personal book - we could all start inter-sharing techniques/theories, and then the best techniques/theories would naturally dominate by the results themselves. Think of it as a groupmind book! Kind of like a wikipedia of cultivation...eventually, as the ignorance was dissolved, all books will merge into one...all websites will merge into one, all brains merge into one, all ideas into one. 5000 years from now! Take scattered information, take secret systems, uncover the mysteries, explain the bliss! Organize! remove the flashy coverings to find the root source progenitor! Simplify! Remove the mists of confusion! My goal: to bring it into a very organized, efficient format. 'How to live life' manual. 'How to become a God on Earth manual' 'How to heal the soul manual' - something you can take from any point in your life and become golden...maybe? maybe not? worth a try? like a universal language! please see: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Redaction However you try to define my book - it will not be that! I don't even know how it will turn out...lol so far I have about 175 pages of pre-writing complete, and I am building a bibliography that will be hundreds (thousands) of references long. Its an ego thing true, but it is also my karmic debt payback. Just you wait and see. My life condensed into a book - all the wisdom I have learned from making all the mistakes I made, squeezed into a tiny file. Not really of course...but a nice analogy, eh? Anyways, enough about the damn book! Talking about the damn thing will not get it done (although planning = perfection)...Focusing on the mountain top when you are still far from it will reveal your unsteadiness as you climb. Back to the trail...

I also should state that I am writing the book that I wish I had had to read when I was young. This is me going back in time and telling myself "This is the stuff I wish I knew way back when." This book is for all the mes that will ever exist in time. Should I be reborn, I do hope I will pick up my book (although I think I might end up being reborn as a tiger or a snow leopard), and learn it well. I fear the creation (The book already lives in me) that exists in my head, because it details so much the responsibility we all have for the reality we shape. I am writing my own bible basically, a handbook for living - life's purpose and the roads outlined so that one can make good choices and not do stupid stuff. So much to go into the book - I hope it will all fit...it won't be an easy read - that is for sure...

I love you guys! Your'e both so cool. I think you are nearly unified. Here's another true story: I met my real father once when I was 18, for about an hour… Then, I went and had dinner with him and his new wife and met my half-brother at that time. I kept in contact with my father over the years by phone, but generally the conversations were very boring. I could tell he was depressed. His voice sounded like the voice of the dead; his inflections and tones suggested to me that he had very low dopamine levels, just like me! Unfortunately, he didn't know how to deal with it. He is a shell of a man. I hope he never reads this, but at the same time I hope he does. I would like to care for him, but I really don't know him at all. I have probably spent about, maybe 10 hours of my life interacting with my biological father. I know that he is extremely intelligent. I also know he that is emotional wreck, and that he doesn't feel much emotion at all. I know that it is like this, because I have his genetics (~50%). I feel his pain, and in a way I am his pain. I am the result of his pain. I am the karma he created in this lifetime. I exist because he existed. Basically we all exist because everyone else existed. We are all interminably intertwined. Please know this. I tried to contact my half-brother maybe two weeks ago. I haven't heard from him yet.it's possible that he didn't receive my Facebook request… I don't know… I have a sneaking suspicion that he is not interested in talking with me. Maybe he thinks I'm some kind of foreigner, trying to influence him? I have no idea. I just wanted to see what's up, maybe see what the rest of my family is like out of pure curiosity… Anyways, I think you guys are really on the level, you are very supportive of me, and you see straight through to the truth. I like you both, and I think that the herons should eat the frogs, but the frogs should start getting loco on them der herons! There is no winner when there is a battle, there are only souls that eat, and the soul that gets eaten. The soul that eats a soul, eats the same soul as itself. Snake eating its own tail. It always ends in this. Nothing matters overmuch. Until the snake head comes around and you get eaten AGAIN. Personally, I like being the snake, and I even like being eaten in some kind of a way. It's not about time, as time is infinite and there is no end, it's more about pain! We all avoid pain. Every day, in every way, we are all eating ourselves. Our pain is ourselves. Many others are afraid to eat themselves, because we think that this pain is someone else's self attacking us, when in actuality, it is ourselves attacking ourselves in our mind. This is how the wheel works. We fight ourselves all day long.

Well, here I am again. I have come to much fruition. Basically, it's like this: This website is the shiznat! I love everyone here, because they are me! I hate everyone here, because they are me! I love hate too! Everything that has gone down, has been beautiful. Period. This is ourselves learning ourselves. I am only what I am in the moment as I am 'it,' which means basically that I don't exist. I have no real self. I am all these selves you see, and none of them forevermore. When I empty myself, I become full of you. When I attack you with my own fullness, you become full of me (and you might not like what you see, when you see me/us), and you might try to empty yourself of me by various means. I am definitely a mirror at times, yet at other times I shrink into a small ego mind known as Song (my real name by the way). I am sorry it hurts us. We can't help ourselves! Us, I mean! Do any of us have full control of our emotions, our wisdom, our body? Etc. etc. Nope! If we did, we would all be super Buddhas, flying through the sky. If I could choose my own reality (… and who wouldn't want to?), I would be the Tantrik Demon King Prince Flying Buddha of magical abilities, including teleportation, etc. Now, I bring this up to illustrate a point. We don't always get to choose who we are. We don't always get to choose what our genetics are (maybe some of us do?). We don't always get to choose how our brain chemistry is every day. We don't always get to choose the masks we wear. We do, however, come from the same point of existence (Tao? Emptiness? Etc.). What this means is that here on Earth we will almost all the time be engaged in a "Masks fighting Masks" game. No one is really a 'man,' no one is really a 'woman.' No one is really 'tall,' no one is really 'short.' No one is really 'black,' no one is really 'white.' - it's all just a game. in the end, we all come back to same. Sameness equals bliss. Duality equals infinite fighting...shortened to infighting. If you find yourself fighting, please realize that you are fighting yourself and only yourself. The reason that you are fighting yourself is that because we are made of all the same energy, etc. we really are all one, and this one fights itself in an infinite set of glorious battles…battles which can never be won, because they are eternal.. Since you (i.e. "the energy"), are behind the mask ("ego construct"), you will always be having fun watching this play, but 'you' the actor will be suffering along side 'you' the stage manager (i.e. the watcher, true self, real self, self, Atman), who exist in bliss. Just remember this: co-creation, inter-dependency. Everything is always a two-way street. There are always two sides of the coin. Everything that happens, you have had a hand in. No doubt! Accept responsibility for thisness! Such thisnesses are younesses! P.S. You should never believe anything I say! It is simple: because I have no stable self, anything I say is simply a statement of an ego construct, so don't pay attention to that Bullshit! My ego constructs change daily. I have no routine ego construct (…although I have 'tendencies'). I can never truly be hurt, because I don't actually exist! Can you hurt an illusion? Can you hurt smoke? (I can!) It is what it is. Making absolute statements is absolutely nonsensical. If you catch me making an absolute statement (… Which is impossible for me not to do, but you know what I mean…), Please tell me to STFU! Only delusional thought constructs can be hurt. Isn't this place beautiful!? Do we not have everything we came here for? Just remember - if you are mean to me, the voices in my head aren't going to like you very much!

“No dude its not realistic , its negative and a bummer. Songstans experience probably has something to d with what he related, I dont care to speculate much on that.” -You are so very perceptive! Mr. Stosh Yes, I was rejected so much in my life, that in combination with my penchant for explosive emotional angst, I have become ingrained with habits of super rejecting others whenever faced with rejection- not always from the get-go, but when I reach the point of no return, things get ugly– to the point of utterly destroying my relationships on a whim. Generally when initially faced with rejection, I plead for sanity from the rejecters “Please, just try to take on another point of view – see me as worthwhile.” When they refuse, pretty soon I turn on my own rejection mask, and open that can of whoop ass! You should have seen what prison was like for me. I am lucky I wasn’t shanked. The thing is I enjoy it on some level, in a sadomasochistic type of way. I am a real good rejecter now! I can blast holes in the ozone layer with my ninja skills. I do not even want to try to make friends with someone who cannot accept me in all my wicked ways, their perceptions of me as wicked that is – personally I like my wicked self better than I like others faux-saintly selves – it is far more juicy and alive. If you’ve read my posts you know that I believe that I am my demons, and you also know that I intend to make my demons divine. I give in to the urge to splurge and start the fireworks. I become the mirror. Some might say that this is unhealthy, and I do limit this tendency when dealing with significant others now, such as family, but I believe it is necessary to show others who they really are whenever possible, regardless if it shakes things loose or not. Tibetan Book of the Dead style. Practicing nonattachment, I give my heart to others on a platter, and if they don’t like the taste of my wild and savory center, I yank my heart back from them to save for snacky time later, because I sure like it. Then I bring out my swords and start slicing and dicing. I don’t lose much sleep over this, as I have a strong feeling of righteous indignation, and if you don’t know what that means, go look it up, as it is a beautifully deadly essence to dwell in. There are all sorts of tasty bites in my center, such as pride, vanity, sloth, hedonism, avariciousness, and so on. How many people will actually stand up and admit that they too possess these things? I eat them for breakfast. Becoming unattached to how ones ego is shaped leads to beautiful radical acceptance of any egos. You want to be a lover? Love everyone! You want to be a lover/hater? Love certain parts of people and hate certain parts of people – make it absolute! Judge them absolutely for dualistic presentations. View them as all or none. Throw out the baby and the bath water, and why not the tub itself while we are at it? We all do this. I do too. When I finally come to utter acceptance of myself, I will come to utter acceptance of all others. As long as I reject parts of others, I will reject parts of myself...for are we not all everyone else in some deeper way? This is the wisdom that I always come back to. I have no problem playing the games of learning how to love by accepting my own hatred of others many selves (my own many selves). It’s just that here I saw that I was becoming involved in flame games more and more often, and that it was taking an emotional toll. Not in a way that I couldn’t handle, but in a way that turned my energy towards more process work. I love process work – trust me! I could do it all day. For realsies! It’s just that I want my focus to be on certain other things right now. My energy got hijacked by process work on this board, and before I knew it, I was caring less about my original reason for coming here (complex), and entered the delightful fray of ego battles in all their various versions. I doubt that there is anyone on this board who doesn’t play these games on some level. Most people play these games in subtle, ‘pretending to be holier than though’ ways...I am honest about what I do, and do not hide behind a veil of spiritual one-upsman ship. I don’t fake it until I make it, and don’t pretend to be Buddha. Pretenders take longer to become real than real-deals do. I aim to be a real saint, not a cardboard cutout saint. That is why I say left hand tantra/crazy wisdom for me. Please don’t think I left because of rejection (although in a roundabout way I did). I left because I was getting sidetracked by the utter power of it and this is due to my path and (my nature?). It’s all good. I simply have a deadline for my book, and I need to stay focused. Plenty of time for process works after I have dealt with this other very important process work of mine. My book will heal me in ways I cannot even imagine. This I know. In a way, writing my book is about focus and discipline, and about completing karmas - my own way of giving back. Choosing my own battles sagely is about battling my self like a savvy general in command of his armies. Although everyone else’s self is my self too, I am focusing on a different part of my own core identity. I could stay on this board forever, making wise, snazzy comments, fighting the good fight, and making friends, enemies, and frenemies. You should know that I value all three of those categories nearly equally. I don’t disvalue what has happened here, I simply value my own wisdom, which tells me: if you stay, they will come, over and over and you will be at war with them, over and over. I must save my emotional energy and direct it like a laser beam, not shine my light all over the place and burn out my bulb.

crazy wisdom/left hand tantra

oh...I guess I will leave it there then...

I think that basis of pranayama and its ability to generate chi is the fact that it limits the amount of oxygen available to the body, thus 'waking up' or 'shocking' the body into thinking that something is wrong, which produces an intense surge of energy (which could be used to enliven the body or break through whatever is causing the breath obstruction). The systems available keep the energy flowing at a steady state, by keeping the oxygen level lower, and thus maintaining a state of invigoration in the mind-nexus...once this energy is released, one can direct its flow to where it is needed to go, such as the inner ear (to cause tinnitus perhaps?), or the body (to cause fear reactions), or the legs (to cause running speed), or maybe the eros (to cause love chi to pump up the thymus gland)...now, what I don't understand, is why there are all these different systems out there doing the same exact thing? Do they really have to compete, or are they all the same? I'd like to know. Been doing pranayama off and on for last 20 years or so, and have never seen any difference in the systems, but my mentality might be flawed. Perhaps different systems invigorate the lung spaces better than others? I wonder...does anyone know what the top dog system is? Oh yeah: Michael Jackson used to sleep in a super expensive oxygen deprivation chamber thingamabobber which kept the oxygen levels lower at night when he sleeped - it was supposed to make you healthier. Isn't that interesting? Oh yeah, runners like to go to high elevations to train so that when competition time comes they are super mutant oxygen efficiency machines. Maybe someone should invent some kind of device you just place over your nose that shuts it part way so that its harder to breathe. Know what 'Wu chi' means? Exhaust the inexhaustible, which basically states that if you limit yourself to something necessary and usually available, the body will find ways to make itself more flexible, thus when O2 is deprived, you get better and better at needing less O2, and you keep generating that extra ZAP! that pushes your system to thrive. That's why I think all these different systems are basically the same. Can anyone correlate me?

I went 10 years straight without using entheogens for spiritual practice and gained much wisdom and experience, cultivated quite nicely actually, experienced extremely high levels of shambavi mudra, 1st jhana, and various perception attainments, including being able to move chi anywhere in my body with only half-assed focus. I already experience everything kundalini related without drugs including spontaneous movements upon demand, and amrita nectar production. Also I possess various autonomic control abilities, including dramatic slowing of heart rate, and the ability to lower blood pressure. I also have good control over the perception states of my homunculus, able to feel as big as the universe and small as an insect...I don't need drugs at all in fact, and never have, i simply enjoy exploring with them. Also, I have finished my dabbling in entheogens for a long while. See this is one of the reasons I am leaving the board, everything I say gets questioned and double questioned, and I waste so much time trying to explain to people who assume so much about me from limited data. I already told you that I am very confident in all my positions by now, and that I consider myself ready to write this book. Doubters doubt. You are being the doubt, do not forget that.

I assure you that my big will have a whole chapter on the use of entheogens in the use of spiritual cultivation, and I will discuss my own experience from them. If you assume that a great percentage of my knowledge is from the use of drugs, you are of course incorrect. Most of my knowledge comes from research, from questioning Shakti, and from long drawn out hours of contemplation on all the issues I will discuss, which were for the most part done while straight. If I learned anything special while on drugs, I honor that knowledge as the equal of any knowledge gained not on drugs. I always test knowledge that I gain through any method over and over again.

I am not leaving so much because of specific people, but the fact that I have been getting into arguments with multiple people and getting stressed over it. But it is not so much that, as I want to go hermit again. I want to focus on myself for a while. I want to spend time each day writing my book - aiming for 10 pages a day minimum, and I want to finish my 1000 page book in six months.. I love to go all out on something like that. Plus I have to be my own editor. I like going through extreme phases, and find moderation to be not as fun for me. I also want to get out of the house more and make friends in the physical world. I assure you am not running away with my tail between my legs, I am simply disappearing into the woods for a while, to go camping. Also, I am not sure that I have anything to add to discussions right now. My posts are started to get repetitive. I haven't been doing much actual learning lately, just posting my own beliefs and arguments and then defending them left and right as soon as someone disagrees with me. I have a bevy of material I need to study, including much material that I have learned from others at this website (links, books, etc.). So I am focusing on self-study and writing. I may look in once and a while and see what people are getting excited about, but my days of posting my own opinions, arguing over my own opinions or against others, and getting into personal character conflicts with others are over. It serves me no purpose. If I come across any great information in my studies, I will be sure to stop by and post, but I will probably not stay long to see the discussion on it. Who knows, this could be a short phase, I may get antsy and come back soon. It doesn't matter, everything will work out for the best. I can't stand stagnation for that long is all, and I found myself running in the same maze after a while here.

Today is probably my last day here for a long while...I just wanted to add that one reason that when you breath less you live longer, is that when cell metabolism slows down, cell turnover rate slows down, too, and because cells can only divide a certain number of times (telomere therory), when cell division rates slow, aging slows. I imagine that improved oxygen efficiency in combination with increased tolerance to CO2 and metabolites work together to improve overall respiration efficiency. Also something to keep in mind is that aerobic respiration is active well up into 70% plus of VO2 max levels, becoming less above that. Most pranayams are done seated, which will definitely not exceed the cellular load that a slow jog would have on the system. So I doubt that levels of O2 saturation will ever go into the anaerobic zone at all with breathing exercises. Try this sometime: Sit there, relaxed - do not try to breath, do not try NOT to breath. Sit with relaxed abdomen and diaphragm. Let your body breath itself. Watch how slow and shallow your breathing becomes. Soon it will become nearly insensible (at least mine does), very shallow and much slowed down. This is how efficient the body is - it needs hardly any O2 at this level of relaxation.

It's only indirectly related to my heat...I am actually right now quite relaxed, and I know this is for my best. I am going to devote all my time to cultivation, and to writing. I did too much incessant and impulsive posting/checking posts on this site. Sometimes being all or none is good, sometimes bad. I feel confident in what I am doing. My life is filled with many chapters of excess. Like a mansion with many rooms, sometimes I become so enamored of certain rooms, that I never leave the room to go explore other rooms. It is time I go explore some of the rooms that I haven't been to in a while, such as the room of discipline, and the room of self-study. Sometimes too many opinions flying in every which way can blind one to ones own wisdom, as one gets caught up in opinion wars. I am trying to hold to my Buddhist vow of 'seeking to not cherish ones own opinion.' That really means quit getting caught up in wars to defend ones own belief systems. Belief systems are transitory. Even the book I am writing will be transitory. It's a transitory world. I am simply seeking to complete some karma of a different sort. I came here, did a bunch of arguing, gave a bunch of advice, read a bunch of advice, learned a lot, taught a lot, and especially learned that I am quite confident in my own belief system, and now I am ready to get to the next step. I know how to teach myself now, how to test information to determine its accuracy, and how to constantly throw out old, outdated information. I know what I do is for my own best.

Awesome article...I am glad you took the time to go research it. I am basically convinced in the role CO2 has to play in pranayama but have still not taken the time to do any actual research besides contemplate it with the knowledge already in my brain. Thank you Sheng Zhen for your assistance. And thank you Chidragon for your insistence on making me think more deeply about the issue. I am leaving the website, taking a long break. But if I come to any more definite conclusions, or come across further research that would shed some more light on the subject, I will come back and post in this thread.

Here is what I have decided to do and why. I am not going to be posting on the site anymore. I simply end up getting in arguments with people all the time, and it is a complete waste of time/energy, and reckless to boot. I am like a person trying to quit gambling who sees his gambling buddies playing cards and cannot help but get hooked line and sinker. Another way of looking at my mental illness is that I have what is called Emotional Intensity disorder. What this means is that I have a high level of 'emotional lability' meaning that I am like a prima donna. I am a leaf on the wind, and the wind is my emotions. There are too many people like me here, who like to get into arguments and blow off steam here, and I see that half of what I am posting is in direct reaction to what others are posting. I have an internet addiction. I am going to quit cold turkey. If you are someone who really likes me, and wishes to stay in contact, PM me and I will give you my email address. I like many of you, and wish you well. You have been like my virtual family. I will be removing my personal story from this thread in a few days, as I don't want it immortalized on the internet, at least for now. Delusional ego constructs arguing with other delusional ego constructs is delusional to say the least.