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A real shaman knows he has to earn it ..... what do you think the shaman's initiation is all about ? Encountering forces that may destroy you or rip you psychically apart, having your organs removed and eaten, having your bones removed and replaced with iron ones, how to control animal spirit possessions , having quartz crystal rods inserted into your chakras .... and so on, whether in real or dream states ... you think it doesnt have to be earned ??? Carefull there little fox ? It is not 'effort alone' but that doesnt mean one ignores the effort required . What good are snow chains and ice spikes if the wheels are not turning in the first place ... it ( in your own example) is all about the correct application of effort ... in my observations, over time, and throughout many 'esoteric fields' you tend to approach you seem to be the one spinning your tyres .... it is a 'calling' in a way but not just a calling . Any real path of shamanism - you will be tested and you have to earn it . Unless its some fake type of new-age ,shallow, ego - ' shamanism ' . Or a 'self - imagined shamanism ' ( read ; 'self - made ' ) .

No will-nilliness here. I may be casual, divergent and disrespectful (among other things) but I will not be careless, irresponsible or stupid. I may have said earlier that I will also be respectful, but only to a certain, limited, non-fear based, non-religious or reverential based, extent. As I said I can not explain myself. It is really nothing more than a feeling of rightness about it, a feeling I have been chosen, although for the life of me I have no idea why. It comes from, as you have seen me mention before, when I re-entered a dream for the first time and was met by a spirit animal. I was a Christian at the time, it was my first dream re-entry, and a fox was not a part of the original dream. Suffice it to say I was caught completely off-guard. There were many inner journeys after that as well as meetings with other spiritual entities. I have had no formal training in any of this. I hope to return to the practices, and to find or be found by a proper teacher (not a workshop.) Besides, I am far too old to play with sticks and go looking for power rocks. Also I am far too poor to buy the title of shaman...

Stanzas on Vibration Translated by MARK S. G. DYCZKOWSKI 1. WE PRAISE THAT SANKARA WHO IS THE SOURCE OP THE POWER OF THE WHEEL OF ENERGIES BY WHOSE EXPANSION (UNMESA) AND CONTRACTION (NIMESA) THE UNIVERSE IS ABSORBED AND COMES INTO BEING. 2. THAT IN WHICH ALL THIS CREATION IS ESTABLISHED AND FROM WHENCE IT ARISES IS NOWHERE OBSTRUCTED BECAUSE IT IS UNCONDITIONED BY (ITS VERY) NATURE. 3. EVEN WHEN DIVISION PREVAILS DUE TO THE WAKING AND OTHER STATES, IT EXTENDS THROUGH THAT WHICH IS UNDIVIDED (TADABHINNA) BECAUSE THE PERCEIVING SUBJECTIVITY FOREVER REMAINS TRUE TO ITS OWN NATURE. 4. NO NOTIONS SUCH AS: 'I AM HAPPY,' 'I AM MISERABLE' OR 'I AM ATTACHED' (EXIST INDEPENDENTLY). THEY ALL CLEARLY RESIDE ELSEWHERE, NAMELY, (IN THAT) WHICH THREADS THROUGH (ALL) THE STATES OF PLEASURE AND THE REST. 5. THAT EXISTS IN THE ULTIMATE SENSE WHERE THERE IS NEITHER PLEASURE NOR PAIN, SUBJECT NOR OBJECT, NOR AN ABSENCE OF CONSCIOUSNESS. 6 - 7 . THAT PRINCIPLE SHOULD BE EXAMINED WITH EFFORT AND REVERENCE BECAUSE THIS, ITS UNCREATED FREEDOM, PREVAILS EVERYWHERE. BY VIRTUE OF IT, THE SENSES, ALONG WITH THE INNER CIRCLE, (ALTHOUGH) UNCONSCIOUS BEHAVE AS IF CONSCIOUS IN THEMSELVES AND MOVE TOWARDS (THEIR OBJECTS), REST (THERE) AND WITHDRAW (FROM THEM). 8. INDEED THE INDIVIDUAL SOUL (PURUSA) DOES NOT ACTIVATE THE IMPULSE OF THE WILL (WHICH DIRECTS THE BODY'S ACTIVITY) BY HIMSELF ALONE, BUT THROUGH HIS CON­ TACT WITH (HIS) OWN (INNER) STRENGTH (BALA) MADE IN SUCH A WAY THAT HE IDENTI­ FIES WITH IT, (THUS ACQUIRING ITS POWER). 9. AN INDIVIDUAL WHO, (THOUGH) DESIROUS OF DOING VARIOUS THINGS, (BUT) INCAPABLE OF DOING THEM DUE TO HIS INNATE IMPURITY, (EXPERIENCES) THE SUPREME STATE (PARAM PADAM) WHEN THE DISRUPTION (KSOBHA) (OF HIS FALSE EGO) CEASES. 10. THEN (THE SOUL REALIZES) THAT HIS (TRUE) UNCREATED NATURE (DHARMA) IS (UNIVERSAL) AGENCY AND PERCEIVING SUBJECTIVITY, AND SO HE KNOWS AND DOES WHATEVER (HE) DESIRES. 11. HOW CAN ONE WHO, AS IF ASTONISHED, BEHOLDS HIS OWN NATURE AS THAT WHICH SUSTAINS (ALL THINGS) BE SUBJECT TO THIS ACCURSED ROUND OF TRANSMIGRATION? 12. NOTHINGNESS CAN NEVER BE AN OBJECT OF CONTEMPLATION BECAUSE CONSCIOUSNESS IS ABSENT THERE. (IT IS A MISTAKE TO BELIEVE THAT ONE HAS PERCEIVED NOTHINGNESS) BECAUSE WHEN REFLECTION (SUBSEQUENTLY) INTERVENES, ONE IS CERTAIN THAT ' IT WAS. ' 13. THEREFORE CONSIDER THAT TO BE AN ARTIFICIAL STATE SIMILAR TO DEEP SLEEP. THAT PRINCIPLE IS FOREVER PERCEIVED AND NOT REMEMBERED IN THIS WAY. 14. MOREOVER TWO STATES CALLED, ' 'THE AGENT' AND ' PRODUCT OF ACTION' ABIDE HERE. THE PRODUCT OF ACTION IS SUBJECT TO DECAY WHEREAS AGENCY IS IMPERISHABLE. 15. ONLY THE EFFORT DIRECTED TOWARDS THE PRODUCT OF ACTION DISAPPEARS HERE (IN STATES OF INTENSE INTROVERTED CONTEMPLATION) . WHEN THAT CEASES THE UNENLIGHTENED BELIEVES THAT HIS OWN EXISTENCE CEASES (WITH IT). 16. THAT INNER BEING IS THE ABODE OF OMNISCIENCE AND EVERY OTHER DIVINE ATTRIBUTE. IT CAN NEVER CEASE TO EXIST BECAUSE NOTHING ELSE CAN BE PERCEIVED (OUTSIDE IT) . 17. THE FULLY AWAKENED (YOGl ' s ) PERCEP­ TION OF THAT (REALITY) IS CONSTANT (AND ABIDES) UNALTERED IN ALL THREE STATES, WHEREAS OTHERS (PERCEIVE) THAT ONLY AT THE END OF THE FIRST (TADADYANTE). 18. THE OMNIPRESENT LORD APPEARS IN TWO STATES IN UNION WITH (HIS) SUPREME POWER WHOSE FORM IS KNOWLEDGE AND ITS OBJECT. ELSEWHERE, APART FROM THESE (TWO STATES, HE MANIFESTS) AS PURE CONSCIOUSNESS. 19. THE STREAMS OF THE PULSATION (SPANDA) OF THE QUALITIES ALONG WITH THE OTHER (PRINCIPLES) ARE GROUNDED IN THE UNIVERSAL VIBRATION (OF CONSCIOUSNESS) AND SO ATTAIN BEING; THEREFORE THEY CAN NEVER OBSTRUCT THE ENLIGHTENED. 2 0 . YET FOR THOSE WHOSE INTUITION SLUM­ BERS, (THESE VIBRATIONS OF CONSCIOUSNESS) ARE INTENT ON DISRUPTING THEIR OWN ABIDING STATE OF BEING (SVASTHITI ) , CAST­ ING THEM DOWN ONTO THE TERRIBLE PATH OF TRANSMIGRATION SO HARD TO CROSS. 2 1 . THEREFORE HE WHO STRIVES CONSTANTLY TO DISCERN THE SPANDA PRINCIPLE RAPIDLY ATTAINS HIS OWN (TRUE) STATE OF BEING EVEN WHILE IN THE WAKING STATE ITSELF. 2 2 . SPANDA IS STABLE IN THE STATE ONE ENTERS WHEN EXTREMELY ANGRY, INTENSELY EXCITED, RUNNING OR WONDERING WHAT TO DO. 2 3 - 2 4 . ONCE ENTERED THAT STATE WHICH (THE YOGI) TAKES AS HIS SUP PORT AND FIRMLY RESOLVES THAT: ' I WILL SURELY DO WHATEVER HE SAYS, ' BOTH THE SUN AND MOON SET, FOLLOWING THE ASCENDING WAY, INTO THE CHANNEL OF SUSUMNA, ONCE ABANDONED THE SPHERE OF THE UNIVERSE. 2 5 . THEN IN THAT GREAT SKY, WHEN THE SUN AND MOON DISSOLVE AWAY, THE DULL MINDED (YOGI IS CAST DOWN) INTO A STATE LIKE THAT OF DEEP SLEEP. THE AWAKENED HOWEVER REMAINS LUCID. 2 6 . SEIZING THAT STRENGTH (BALA), MANTRAS, ENDOWED WI TH THE POWER OF OMNISCIENCE, PERFORM THEIR FUNCTIONS, AS DO THE SENSES OF THE EMBODIED. 2 7 . IT IS THERE ALONE THAT THEY, QUIESCENT AND STAINLESS, DISSOLVE AWAY ALONG WITH THE ADEPT'S MIND AND SO PARTAKE OF SIVA'S NATURE. 2 8 . EVERYTHING ARISES (OUT OF) THE INDIVIDUAL SOUL, AND SO HE IS ALL THINGS BECAUSE HE PERCEIVES HIS IDENTITY WITH THE AWARENESS (HE HAS) OF THEM. 2 9 . THEREFORE THERE IS NO STATE IN THE THOUGHTS OF WORDS OR (THEIR) MEANINGS THAT IS NOT SIVA. IT IS THE ENJOYER ALONE WHO ALWAYS AND EVERYWHERE ABIDES AS THE OBJECT OF ENJOYMENT. 3 0 . OR, CONSTANTLY ATTENTIVE, AND PERCEIVING THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE AS PLAY, HE WHO HAS THI S AWARENESS (SAMVITTI ) IS UNDOUBTEDLY LIBERATED IN THIS VERY LIFE. 31. THIS INDEED IS THE ARISING OF THAT OBJECT OF MEDITATION IN THE MIND OF THE MEDITATOR, NAMELY, THE ADEPT'S REALIZATION OF HIS IDENTITY WITH IT BY THE FORCE OF (HIS) INTENT. 3 2 . THIS ALONE IS THE ATTAINMENT OF THE NECTAR OF IMMORTALITY, THI S INDEED IS TO CATCH HOLD OF ONESELF, THI S IS THE INITIATION OF NIRVANA WHICH BESTOWS SIVA'S TRUE NATURE (SADBHAVA). 3 3 . REQUESTED BY THE WILL, THE BENEFACTOR MAKES THE SUN AND MOON RISE AND BESTOWS ON THE EMBODIED, WHILE THEY WAKE, THE OBJECTS THAT ARE IN (THEIR) HEART. 3 4 . SO ALSO IN THE DREAM STATE (SIVA) , RESIDING IN THE CENTER, MANIFESTS WI THOUT EXCEPTION, ALWAYS AND MOST VIVIDLY THE THINGS (HIS DEVOTEE) DESIRES BECAUSE HE NEVER DESISTS FROM (HIS) PRAYERFUL REQUEST. 3 5 . OTHERWI SE (AS HAP PENS NORMALLY) , THE GENERATION (OF IMAGES) WOULD BE CONTINUOUS AND INDEPENDENT THROUGHOUT THE WAKING AND DREAMING STATES IN ACCORD WITH THEIR CHARACTER, AS HAP PENS TO THE WORLDLY. 3 6 - 3 7 . JUST AS AN OBJECT WHICH IS NOT SEEN CLEARLY AT FIRST, EVEN WHEN THE MIND ATTENDS TO IT CAREFULLY, LATER BECOMES FULLY EVIDENT WHEN OBSERVED WI TH THE EFFORT EXERTED THROUGH ONE'S OWN ( INHERENT) STRENGTH (SVABALA) ; WHEN (THE YOGI ) LAYS HOLD OF THAT SAME POWER IN THE SAME WAY, THEN WHATEVER (HE PERCEIVES MANIFESTS TO HIM) QUICKLY IN ACCORD WI TH ITS TRUE NATURE (PARAMARTHENA), WHATEVER BE ITS FORM, LOCUS, TIME OR STATE. 3 8 . LAYING HOLD OF THAT (STRENGTH) EVEN A WEAK MAN ACHIEVES HIS GOAL, AND SO IN THE SAME WAY A STARVING MAN CAN STILL HIS HUNGER. 3 9 . WHEN THE BODY IS SUSTAINED BY THI S , ONE KNOWS EVERYTHING THAT HAP PENS WI THIN IT. SIMILARLY (THIS SAME OMNISCIENCE) WILL PREVAIL EVERYWHERE (WHEN THE YOGI) FINDS HIS SUPPORT IN HIS OWN NATURE. 4 0 . LASSITUDE RAVAGES THE BODY, AND THIS ARISES FROM IGNORANCE. BUT IF IT IS ELIMINATED BY AN EXPANSION OF CONSCIOUSNESS (UNMESA), HOW CAN ( IGNORANCE) , DEPRIVED OF ITS CAUSE, CONTINUE TO EXIST? 4 1 . THE EXPANSION OF CONSCIOUSNESS THAT TAKES PLACE WHEN ONE IS ENGAGED IN A SINGLE THOUGHT SHOULD BE KNOWN AS THE SOURCE FROM WHENCE ANOTHER ARISES. ONE SHOULD EXPERIENCE THAT FOR ONESELF. 4 2 . SHORTLY AFTER, FROM THAT (EXPANSION) ARISES THE POINT (HINDU), FROM THAT SOUND (NADA), FROM THAT FORM (RUPA), AND FROM THAT TASTE (RASA) WHI CH DISTURB THE EMBODIED SOUL. 4 3 . WHEN (THE YOGI 'S CONSCIOUSNESS) PERVADES ALL THINGS BY (HIS) DESIRE TO PERCEIVE, THEN WHY SPEAK MUCH? - HE WILL EXPERIENCE IT FOR HIMSELF. 4 4 . AT ALL TIMES (THE YOGI ) SHOULD REMAIN WELL AWAKE. HAVING WI TH (HIS) PERCEPTION OBSERVED THE FIELD (OF AWARENESS) , HE SHOULD DEPOSIT ALL IN ONE PLACE, AND SO BE UNTROUBLED BY ANY ALIEN (REALITY) . 4 5 . HE WHO IS DEPRIVED OF HIS POWER BY THE FORCES OF OBSCURATION (KAIA), AND IS A VICTIM OF THE POWERS ARISING FROM THE MASS OF SOUNDS (SABDARASI), IS CALLED THE FETTERED (PASU). 4 6 . OPERATING IN THE FIELD OF THE SUBTLE ELEMENTS, THE ARISING OF MENTAL REPRESENTATION (PRATYAYA) MARKS THE DISAPPEARANCE OF THE FLAVOR OF THE SUPREME NECTAR OF IMMORTALITY; DUE TO THI S (MAN) FORFEITS HIS FREEDOM. 4 7 . MOREOVER THE POWERS (OF SPEECH) ARE ALWAYS READY TO OBSCURE HIS NATURE AS NO MENTAL REPRESENTATION CAN ARISE UNPENETRATED BY SPEECH. 4 8 . THI S , SIVA'S POWER OF ACTION, RESIDING IN THE FETTERED SOUL, BINDS IT, (BUT) WHEN ( ITS TRUE NATURE) IS UNDERSTOOD AND IT IS SET ON ITS OWN PATH, (THIS POWER) BESTOWS THE FRUITS OF YOGA (SIDDH1).* 4 9 - 5 0 . (THE SOUL) IS BOUND BY THE CITY OF RIGHT (PURYASTAKA) THAT RESIDES IN THE MIND, INTELLECT, AND EGO AND CONSISTS OF THE ARISING OF THE (FIVE) SUBTLE ELEMENTS (OF SENSORY PERCEPTION) . HE HELPLESSLY SUFFERS WORLDLY EXPERIENCE (BHOGA) WHICH CONSISTS OF THE ARISING OF MENTAL REPRESENTATION BORN OF THAT (CITY OF EIGHT) , AND SO ITS EXISTENCE SUBJECTS HIM TO TRANSMIGRATION. THUS WE WILL EXPLAIN HOW TO END THIS TRANSMIGRATORY EXISTENCE. 51. BUT WHEN HE IS FIRMLY ESTABLISHED IN ONE PLACE THAT IS THEN GENERATED AND WITHDRAWN (BY HIM AT WILL) , HIS STATE BECOMES THAT OF THE (UNIVERSAL) SUBJECT. THUS HE BECOMES THE LORD OF THE WHEEL. 52. I REVERE THE WONDERFUL SPEECH OF THE MASTER, WHOSE WORDS AND THEIR MEANING ARE MARVELOUS; IT IS THE BOAT THAT CARRIES ONE ACROSS THE FATHOMLESS OCEAN OF DOUBT.

I'll try, So usually its a twofold division Prim.Wisdom of the example and actual prim.wisdom The prim.wisdom of the example is introduced to a disciple in the 4th empowerment, called tsik don rin po che'i dbang = the empowerment of the precious word As you can see it uses a symbolic word or sentence to introduce you to your jnana or primordially awakened state - they of course say this is not the same like the fully blossomed jnana of an enlightened being and that is called the actual prim.wisdom That actual prim.wisdom is what an arya bodhisattva on the bhumis is "experiencing" (how ever else you want to call it) while meditating Its beyond mind, inexpressible, unthinkable gnosis (jnana) Its the actual experience of the union of emptiness/appearances Now during post meditation such a bodhisattva still perceives "dreamlike" happenings, like dream beings, dream doings etc without grasping and without being harmed or benefited by this magic show (so a arya bodhisattva is beyond samsara and suffering) Also because of realizing the whole thing to be a hologram such a being has a lot of siddhis Now the prim.wisdom of union must be buddhahood because only a Buddha can perceive the union of relative and ultimate truth without wavering, no more difference between meditation and post meditation, doesn't matter if there is activity from the disciples point of view like "oh Buddha went to take a bath, oh now he teaches the assembly, oh now he is in meditative equipoise - better not disturb him/her, the Buddha is sleeping etc..." The Buddha never wavers from the dharmadatu is always in "union" it is totally inconceivable what this could mean for an ordinary being - its not some sort of "present in the now" mindfulness - the Buddha has no concepts at all and still accomplishes the benefit of infinite sentient beings without effort - no effort at all. yet the Buddha is always on time (even beyond swiss german austrian conception of "on time")->teaching the right disciple the right teaching at exactly the perfect moment, without any effort and concept One of the most difficult points to understand - because its so far removed from our ordinary way of perception (vijnana) In short the state where all rnam shes or vijnana is burned and "transmuted" so that only jnana remains "Nirvana is merely the exhaustion of error" remember?

Think it might be his fear that is keeping him from dreaming about, or remembering his dreams about those who have left their physical body? Perhaps asking where his fears about death arise from is a good place to start. I have had dreams about people whom have passed on. In every instance that I can recall, they have been alive in the physical body I knew, their voices the same and their mannerisms were intact. That being said, I think that the pain associated with losing a loved one and fears surrounding death can keep you from dreaming about them. In my case, my mother, who passed away very unexpectedly and tragically, was someone I longed to dream of and to be visited by. It was years before I was able to dream of her, or at least remember dreams about her. This may not be the case for everyone, but only after I had let go of the grief and really let her memory move through me and be exemplified in my own life did I see her in a dream and hear her voice. Much love.

I've been very blessed in my life to have many resoundingly deep and exquisitely loving relationships with many wonderful beings and not all of them were humans. I've now arrived at the point in my life where quite a few of these have died and released their body forms. My dream life has always been extremely vivid, rich and lucid, from the age of four and throughout my entire life, I have two types of dreams. The small dreams that are fluff and blather and non sequitur types that are often vivid, but don't pull much emotional/intellectual connection and are often forgotten quickly. And then I have BIG dreams. Dreams so intense, vivid and real that they often make many real life experiences pale by comparison and they can shape and change my fundamental perspective of life by the depth of their impact and I can recall every moment of them now as clearly as I can recall the birth of my son. One of my oldest and dearest friends is scared to death... of death. He always has been as far back as he can remember... He fears that we are just obliterated on death. Based on one of my earliest experiences going out of body during a nightmare when I was four, I have never had a fear of death, inherently having the experience that my essential nature is not tied to the atoms of my body, no matter how fun they are to interact with... My question is this... How often do you dream of the dead? And when you do... is it significant? or is it the same as when you dream of friends, loved ones, animals who are still alive? He almost never remembers his dreams, but when he does, they are BIG ones and they usually help him out in his life with answers or support in his most difficult dealings. However, he has never once dreamt of anyone who he knows who has died and this fuels his fear that there is no essence to us after death. He is always very intrigued when I tell him of my big dreams that involve those I love who have released bodily form. and so I've grown more curious to hear and pass along to my friend when next we speak, what sorts of experiences others have had, if you care to share...

We propably all do guess work, excuse me if I offended any realized beings that dwell on TDB, so that's what I'm doing as well - specially with regard to Nirvana But ilumairen, I would call that a healthy and functional human being Something worth aspiring to, but I'm not sure if it is the same as non-abiding Nirvana or Buddhahood, full enlightenment? Would you say that a being on the bodhisattva grounds perceives or clings to body/mind while in meditative equipoise? Also I guess the zen people use this line about killing body/mind or dropping body/mind to show that realisation is not to be found in either the body nor the mind (the body and the mind get liberated) But that actual liberating insight goes beyond apprehension of body/mind Doesn't nullify them sure, they'll still appear like dream characters but without any ordinary grasping that is still there in ordinary dreams More like an old man watching children's play

There may be a dichotomy in some forms of Buddhism, but this is hardly universal among the non-dual Mahayana forms. As for the dream, I would forward that the dream is the Buddhist metaphor par excellence. In fact, Buddhism has developed dream yoga to further explore the dream like nature of reality.

I see Buddhism slightly differently. Our experience (Buddhism is about the nature of experience, the nature of things 'in themselves' isn't the point here) is what it is, but we misprocess it out of ignorance and mistake that confused mess for the experience itself. So it's not that there's a reality hidden behind the appearance, it's that we're actively projecting a falsehood onto the reality. So then the whole idea that awakening is about escaping a dream life doesn't apply. Life is just life - so why not see it as it is? Waking up from the illusions we project means total immersion in the actual experience as it really happens. Which doesn't sound too different from Daoism to me. We can be rid of the illusions of permanence, self, etc. Illusion is a distortion of our natural condition - ignoring some chunks of experience and over-magnifying others results in a distorted picture, and it causes a subtle tension to constantly be running away from our own experience. Constantly blocking out that bit there, shifting that across, a never-ending struggle to create a convincing image of stability with a subject (self) at the center of it all. So long as we aren't awakened, we're constantly processing experience to try to get it to fit our delusions. Which makes it impossible to truly embrace experience, to truly just be. So much more free, open and simple to see in the seen just the seen, in the heard just the heard, in the sensed just the sensed, in the cognized just the cognized...

Here is a Daoist slant on what that error may be from philosopher John Gray….. Chuang-Tzu is as much a sceptic as a mystic. The sharp dichotomy between appearance and reality that is central in Buddhism is absent, and so is the attempt to transcend the illusions of everyday existence. Chuang-Tzu sees human life as a dream, but he does not seek to awaken from it. In a famous passage he writes of dreaming he was a butterfly, and not knowing on awakening whether he is a human being who has dreamt of being a butterfly, or a butterfly dreaming he is a human being. Unlike the Buddha, A.C. Graham explains, Chuang-Tzu did not seek to awaken from the dream. He dreamt of dreaming more lucidly: 'Buddhists awaken out of dreaming; ChuangTzu wakes up to dreaming.' Awakening to the truth that life is a dream need not mean turning away from it. It may mean embracing it: If 'Life is a dream' implies that no achievement is lasting, it also implies that life can be charged with the wonder of dreams, that we drift spontaneously through events that follow a logic different from that of everyday intelligence, that fears and regrets are as unreal as hopes and desires. Chuang-Tzu admits no idea of salvation. There is no self and no awakening from the dream of self: When we dream we do not know we are dreaming, and in the middle of a dream we interpret a dream within it; not until we wake do we know that we were dreaming. Only at the ultimate awakening shall we know that this is the ultimate dream. We cannot be rid of illusions. Illusion is our natural condition. Why not accept it?

Everyday on the news I watch another boat load of migrants being hauled out of the Med ... many are complete families including small children and pregnant women, old grannys too - who in their right mind would think it the best thing to do to subject your own family to such risks. Sure I still have human sympathy for people suffering - but it's obvious that they are following some kind of bizarre false dream of life in Germany or elsewhere - some kind of mythical shangrila. Its ridiculous.

It's all good Shroom Cat. If you feel the need to explain things to yourself in light of others, than fret and fear not. This is the very reason to it's core of what real spirituality is all about- learning from each other, and being honest with oneself, so as to illuminate that which is not understood. Now, through the many people who speak here on this site, as well as the many people who have been cited throughout written recorded human history, a longing for deeper understanding of all things has been expressed. This essential curiosity and deep yearning expresses itself through all that life is and every question that we can ask about it. Said in many ways, "the meaning of life".."The search for truth.".." The search for all knowledge." The quest to understand oneself." It is all at it's most simplest form a search for answers, is it not? " Why are we here?" " Why this? " Why that?" People have taken many different approaches to find the answers or things that they are looking for. Hence you have all the different ways of expressing these expressions... philosophies, religions, science, mathematics, energy practices, etc. etc. that go back as far as anyone can remember. Some people find the answers, some do not. Some people make things up that sound good to themselves, some people stop looking all together, some people forget and forgive, some people love to hate, and some people hate to love, some people love to love... some people don't believe in hanging onto things, some people do. It's endless. There are too many people living the life they want to live to be able to have time to give you whatever it is that you are trying to get, that somehow you do not think you can get by yourself. But that's just it. No one can live your life for you, you are here as the outcome of some previous action, you have a free-will to live and to believe in what you want, you have your own time to do whatever it is that you like. That's where I would start. I would start in understanding the questions that I want to have answered, I would write them down. I would write down what I want to achieve in my life and let it be the biggest dream that I have ever dreamed. I would not let anyone tell me how or what it is to be, or why. Since this is a taoist website, I leave you with the beginning of the Tao Te Ching, or ( Way of Change ) "The tao that can be named is not the eternal tao. The way that can be followed is not the eternal way." If you like philosophy- dissect the inferences in those two lines. And remember that words express only valid meanings that have become through time engrained in our lexicon, but words are not true. Not true in the sense that they convey a reality of what something is. You have a name, but is the name you? We have names for everything, but are the names really what things are? No. Written Language is simply a symbolic expression used to communicate entirely made up, and most often relative meanings to one another. Your mind lives in these meanings to explain things to itself so that it can feel that it is at peace. This is the very crux of spirituality and life and everything.... all of the meanings, beliefs, identities that enshroud your true child-like awareness of life block the true understanding of what is really there, what is. Do they not? This is a fact to be true to everyone. Also true, is the law of karma or cause and effect. Everything that happens causes an effect or a consequence. In short, there are universal laws that operate through all levels of the universe that we cannot change. There are things in life that you have to take a stance on, that you have to decide how to feel about at some point so that you can move on from that point and flow on with life.

Here is another translation by Georg Feuerstein Book III The [phenomenal] self (âtman) is the mind (citta). (3.1) [Finite] knowledge is bondage. (3.2) Mâyâ is nondifferentiation (aviveka) about the principles [of existence (tattva)], such as [limited] activity (kalâ). (3.3) Dissolution of the parts (kalâ) [should be achieved] in the body. (3.4) Comments: According to Kshemarâja’s commentary, the kalâs in question are the various ontological principles or categories (tattvas), such as the elements, the subtle elements, and the mind. Dissolution of the currents (nâdî) [of the life force], conquest of the elements, isolation from the elements, and separation from the elements [are accomplished through yogic contemplation]. (3.5) [Paranormal] power (siddhi) [results] from a veil of delusion (moha). (3.6) Through the conquest of delusion, through infinite enjoyment (âbhoga) [of the Real, there comes about] the conquest of spontaneous wisdom. (3.7) [The enlightened adept is always] awake; [for him] the second one [i.e., the world of duality] is a ray-of-light. (3.8) Comments: The world is a “ray-of-light” (kara) because the enlightened adept experiences it as identical with the divine Reality. The self (âtman) [of the enlightened adept is like] a dancer. (3.9) Comments: The meaning of this obscure aphorism is that enlightened adepts, though they may engage in all kinds of activities, are only play- acting so to speak. They are not really involved in their actions, because they have ceased to identify with the limited body-mind and its functions. The inner self (antar-âtman) [of the enlightened adept is like] a stage. (3.10) Comments: This aphorism, which continues with the dramatic metaphor of sûtra 3.8, emphasizes that the enlightened adept is pure witness. He is constantly and continuously aware of the contents of his own mind, which no longer has the power to delude him. The senses are [like] spectators. (3.11) Through the force of [transcendental] insight (dhî), power over sattva [is obtained]. (3.12) Comments: The term sattva, or “realness,” stands for the luminous aspect of Nature. It is one of the three primary constituents of phenomenal existence. The compound sattva-siddhi also can be understood in the sense of “perfection of luminosity.” Both senses are applicable. [Thus] the condition of independence (sva-tantra) [or liberation] is accomplished. (3.13) As [the adept accomplishes transcendental independence, or liberation] in [regard to] this [body], so [does he accomplish perfect independence in regard to] all else. (3.14) Attentiveness (avadhâna) to the “seed” (bîja) [i.e., the Source of the world, should be cultivated]. (3.15) He who is established in the seat (âsana) [of the transcendental Consciousness] easily plunges into the “lake” [i.e., the ultimate Reality]. (3.16) He effects creation by his own measure. (3.17) Comments: Since the enlightened adept is one with the divine Reality, he or she also is the absolute creator of everything. While wisdom prevails, the elimination of [future] birth [is certain]. (3.18) Maheshvarî and so forth, [residing] in the classes [of letters of the alphabet] beginning with ka, are the mothers of “beasts” (pashu) [i.e., fettered beings, but they have no power over the enlightened adept in whom wisdom blossoms.] (3.19) The Fourth [i.e., the ultimate Reality] should be poured like oil into the three [conditional modes of consciousness, namely waking, dream sleep, and deep sleep]. (3.20) He should enter [into the Fourth] by immersing himself with his mind (citta). (3.21) Upon the equalization of the life force (prâna), [there comes about] the vision of sameness. (3.22) Comments: When the breath is no longer erratic and the body’s energies are harmonized, the mind too is balanced. Then everything reveals itself as the same One. In the interim, [there occurs] the generation of inferior [states of consciousness]. (3.23) Comments: The yogin, who has not yet fully and stably realized the ultimate Reality, experiences intermittently lower states of consciousness, which lack full awareness of the fundamental sameness of all things. Upon [ecstatic] union between the self-concept (sva-pratyaya) and objects (mâtra), [the yogin brings about] the reemergence of the vanished [vision of sameness]. (3.24) He becomes like Shiva. (3.25) [Retaining] the functioning of the body [for the sake of others is his only] vow. (3.26) [His] conversation is recitation. (3.27) Self-knowledge is [his] gift [to others]. (3.28) And he who is established in Avipa is a cause of [higher] knowledge (jna). (3.29) Comments: In Kshemarâja’s tenth-century commentary, the difficult compound avipa-stha is explained as “established in the protector (pa) of animals (avi),” that is, “established in those who protect the finite beings.” Thus, it is taken to refer to the Goddesses that preside over the letters of the Sanskrit alphabet. For him the universe is an extension of his [innate] power. (3.30) The maintenance and absorption [of the universe are likewise an extension of his innate power]. (3.31) Despite such activity [as the maintenance and absorption of the universe, there is] no discontinuity owing to [the enlightened adept’s] condition as witness. (3.32) [The adept] considers pleasure and pain as external. (3.33) Free from these, he is indeed alone (kevalin). (3.34) However, the dynamic [or karmic] self [i.e., the unenlightened personality] is afflicted by delusion. (3.35) Upon the eclipse of differentiation [based on the unenlightened mind, the adept acquires] the capacity for [bringing forth] other creations. (3.36) The power of creation [is well established] on account of one’s own experience [in dreams and meditation, etc.]. (3.37) [There should be] animation of the three states [of unenlightened consciousness] by the principal [state, which is Reality itself]. (3.38) As with the [various] states of consciousness, [there should also be animation by the ultimate Reality] in regard to body, senses, and external [objects]. (3.39) For the “confluent” (samvâhya) [unenlightened individual, there is constant] extroversion (bahir-gati) because of desire. (3.40) Comments: Driven by desire, the consciousness of the unenlightened person habitually flows out toward the external world. This externalizing flux of attention is captured well in the rare word samvâhya, denoting the individual who “flows together” with objects. For him who is in the condition of being rooted in that [Fourth, or ultimate Reality, there results] termination of individuality (jîva) owing to the ending of that [desire for contact with objects]. (3.41) Then, he who has the elements for his covering is released, mighty, supreme, and the same as the Lord [i.e., Shiva]. (3.42) The connection with the life force (prâna) is natural. (3.43) Comments: The meaning of this aphorism appears to be that even though finite life depends on the connection of the life force with a particular consciousness, in the case of the enlightened adept, this is not an intrinsic limitation. In fact, prâna is a manifestation of the ultimate Reality. Ultimately, prâna is the universal Life itself. Through constraint (samyama) [i.e., through ecstatic identification with] the innermost center of the nose, how [can the ultimate Reality not be realized] in the left, the right, and the central [channels of the life force]? (3.44) Comments: This is another obscure aphorism carrying a wealth of esoteric information. The innermost center (antar-madhya) of the nose (nâsikâ) is really the core of the life force or consciousness. By practicing successively concentration, meditation, and ecstasy relative to that subtle central point, the adept is able to abide as the ultimate Reality, regardless of whether the life force flows through the left channel, the right channel, or the central channel. In Tantrism and Hatha-Yoga, these channels through which the life force circulates are respectively known as idâ-nâdî, pingalâ-nâdî, and sushumnâ-nâdî. The Shiva-Sûtra uses the word saushumna for the last, which is the most important, since it is the conduit for the awakened kundalinî-shakti, the psychospiritual power that brings about a total alchemical transmutation of the human body-mind. [in the case of the yogin] let there be repeatedly the opening-and- closing [of the vision of sameness]. (3.45) Comments: The phrase pratimîlana is a technical expression of Kashmiri Shaivism. Here rendered as “opening-and-closing,” it literally means “counter-closing.” It refers to the high yogic art of seeing the ultimate Reality, Shiva, both within oneself and in the outer world. This practice comprises both subjective ecstasy (as epitomized in the closing of the eyes, or nimîlana) and objective ecstasy (as epitomized in the opening of the eyes, or unmîlana). This condition is otherwise known as spontaneous ecstasy, or sahaja-samâdhi.

So I came across this discussion from 2011 in a google search http://thedaobums.com/topic/18260-transmutation-of-sexual-energy/?p=256160 A bit about me first. I am young and in my mid 20's. About 6 months ago I walked down a path in my road I knew I had to one day, which lead me back to sobriety after a 9 year gap where my life was void of love, in me, around me. I began eating of the earth, exercising, I left myself no crutches, no medication from doctors, no therapy, i put myself in a corner where I was trapped naked and without any cigarettes or cans of beer or cocaine to distract me from facing myself. I got through it alone. Everyone with addictions whether to substances or just only believing in or carrying with them a negative environment by habit, has to in a sense and to a large degree go through it alone and face themself and say hey, this is where I'm at, and Im done. Leaning on others for support got me nowhere. I will say that I might not have gotten so far without my partner's kind words always telling me I didnt have to live how i was living. I was weak though and My personality was built paper-thin with the idea in my head that i could always turn to someone for support. I had to realize that i could turn to me, and for that to happen I had to isolate myself from every single person i knew. I disabled my facebook and shut off my phone. I have been SO HAPPY. I lost my dear friend and partner over my alcoholism, hatred from "friends" bringing me down, I dealt also with self hatred, self pity. A conglomeration of negative things seperated us, I have since left negativity in the past. I take all bad things i remember, and I see the good they brought, the things I learned. Such valuable knowledge. I wouldnt change anything. I'm getting back to digital and physical arts. I love the arts. Filming, painting, drawing, sculpting, stop motion animation, folding origami, doing home projects, creating with my hands. I keep a dream journal, I used to practice lucid dreaming when I was 17, I'm coming back to that as well. I have returned to the few good friends i left behind. I thoroughly enjoy my time alone and am looking to spend it in the way of fulfilling my passion. Which in general is a thirst for more. For culture. For grasping the world. I have been reading books. I love to read read read. Before I type 3 pages i'll move on. I actually did type 3 pages, going in depth. But for sake of introduction I'll omit them today. I spoke with a friend's father 5 years ago about practice of QiGong. It stuck with me ever since. Last week I decided to begin learning about it. I want to practice it. I have my own history with meditation but it is a scattered one. I am searching for pointers on the following Grounding myself to help with indecisiveness Good literature & guidance (ASAP) on Sexual transmutation (as of now ive just been building up my Qi and after a few days I begin getting so crazy inside, so horny, its unbelievable. I have to know a better way to direct it than just flushing it away. I want to keep it. I want not to tap into my Jing reserve. I must retain it, and circulate it. What do I DO? I am on the brink of letting my creative genius flow full force, however I've been misdirecting myself) Literature or some solid, core guidance to supplement myself going into my new practice, QiGong. The link i shared in the beginning of post, a person by name of "Fizix" here posted a reply it is the second reply, and the link will bring you straight to his spot on the page.. in his reply he shares a link to a 3 hour long lecture on sexual transmutation. Wish that link wasn't broken now, will be seeking out this lecture. if anyone knows of this lecture or others please share. From the single thread I read I can tell the people here, are here to discuss things and give their insights seriously, and i didnt see anyone being flamed like some communities I've visited. That's what made me actually register an account here. Ill be skimming threads. You'll see me around.

Dissociation is a normal coping mechanism. If humans didn't do it, we would decompensate into raving animals. When people are tortured or experiencing major distress, those are really the only two ways they go. They "check out", which then makes them pliable to the torturer, or they completely lose all cohesion and they're lost forever. Most people fall into the former category. A smaller percentage go the opposite way on the spectrum, toward schizophrenia. Their nightmares become experiences projected externally. Either way, they are no longer connected to the experience. It has been artificially separated from the primary personality. The extreme form of dissociation is multiple personalities. Not only does the event get fragmented off, but over time it becomes a separate ego who governs the experiences. I've had the privilege of meeting and working with some high level spiritual people who have MPD and they were utterly fascinating individuals. I could write pages and pages about these people, but I digress... There are a couple schools of thought about how to deal with this. One is that you'll never be whole unless you unlock the dissociated parts of yourself and reintegrate them, which means directly re-experiencing the memories to some degree. There are many ways to do this, like through dream work, "soul retrieval", hypnosis, etc. You can also just ask to be shown. Seriously, it can be that simple. Set the intention within yourself to start experiencing the missing parts of your life. Over a period of time you may get glimpses. It will unlock at the rate you can handle because your own neuropsychology will not want to be bombarded. For myself, I used dream work, since my dreams are always florid and they're playing out my traumas anyway -- plus it's the direct link to the subconscious. The other school of thought is that this direct re-experiencing isn't necessary. The dissociated parts can be overwritten with a stronger programming of a different kind, kind of like how when you delete a file from a computer, you can write another file over it to the degree that the previous file "ghost" underneath is essentially non-existent. If there's utility in remembering, then you'll eventually remember regardless. Our psyches have innate intelligence about what needs to happen and what is superfluous -- nature wastes nothing. Some things aren't meant to resurface. What you're dealing with is a fragmented ego only. You can still experience true mind, true awakening, true essence without the need to reintegrate everything. The basement level present awareness never changes, and it's this that you can delve into to either bypas or re-access dissociative aspects. Every dissociated part of you comes from that present awareness -- it's the ultimate back door. All you need to do is focus on pure consciousness and the spiritual path. Either the dissociated parts will dissolve and release of their own accord, or they will surface of their own accord. It's organic. One person I knew used psychedelics to reintegrate her many fragmented personas. (She chose LSD.) There are neuroplastic aspects to psychedelics which allow for these disparate ego fragments to communicate through a sense of "oneness", without having to delve into the specifics of the experience. She became aware of 17 separate personalities this way, and made her peace with them. KundaliniLinguini, the tiredness you speak of... it's a natural process. You can only maintain resistance to the truth for so long until something gives... either physically, mentally, or emotionally. The fact that you are directly identifying the need to process these things means that they are closer to the surface than you might think, which means you may have a breakthrough experience impending. What that looks like is different for everyone person. A colleague of mine totally trashed his office when he remembered a childhood abuse, and then he went home and trashed his apartment. Then he cried for a week, then he was despondent for a while, and then he became a happier person than I ever saw him. It's hard to predict... but the most important thing is to practice allowing. How do you practice allowing? Well, when the breakthrough starts to happen, your own reactions may disturb you on the surface, but underneath you'll feel a great sense of bliss and relief that the essential energy is decompressing. All that stagnation, all that holding on, all that resistance... it begins to whither. On some level it will feel good so you follow that feeling.

I think a lot of different things depending on when and where you catch me and the context. The primordial wisdom you refer to later in your post is the realization of emptiness. Believing that "they really do exist" is inconsistent with the empty nature of things that is at the heart of the Buddhist view. Our conceptualization, whatever the flavor or topic, is a label or an image, not the reality. That applies to chakras, channels, deities, etc... And, for the record, I'm absolutely convinced of the power of working with the channels and chakras, I do it in waking and dream practices daily. You can attach yourself as deeply to any model as you like... they are all conceptual constructs. And they are valuable as long as they support our practice. When the information is inaccurate or misleading or causing difficulties in your practice. Not intended as defeatist but more experiential. Sometimes the intellect can get in the way. I agree... And even greater benefits to also do the practices skillfully, with expert guidance, along with learning about them. Energetic anatomy is not a distraction and a dead end but getting hung up on it is... which is what I said. Bindi seemed to be getting blocked by the relationship of the central channel, heart chakra, 3rd eye, and crown. When the words get you tied up, I think it's good to let the words go and start with what you feel. That is my message. No you don't. The concepts are useful if they help you to connect with the natural state. If you can do it without the concepts, that is even better... more direct. No, it doesn't work that way in experiential practices. There are many people with extraordinary knowledge of taijiquan who can't push their way out of a wet paper bag. They have information but not skill, therefore no mastery of taijiquan. Many scholars have never experienced the natural state. They can't be said to have mastered anything but information! Since you mentioned dzogchen earlier, the word knowledge is often used to translate rigpa (eg Jean Luc Achard) but it's important to distinguish information from realization, both of which can be implied by the word knowledge. Having a "whole lot of knowledge" is useful when information is the currency. However, in the natural state information is a worthless currency. Yes, primordial wisdom which is the realization of emptiness. It is not the accumulation of knowledge, it is more related to letting go of all knowledge and all concepts. And much ignorance is based on the accumulation and utilization of information in an unskilful fashion. All that said, I agree that knowledge and practice are both valuable on the path, for sure. I agree! I was trying to do just that and I apologize if I came off as critical.

I like the idea of unskilled thoughts - not evil or bad, just unskilled. Steadying one's mind is definitely a skill, it seems to me. There is something, for example, that I would love to tell my partner of many years about, something that one of our friends said that was terribly 'unskilled' toward another. It would be a delicious repetition to my partner for me to make, but it would certainly appeal to my baser instincts, and it would cause my partner to think lesser of the person who said it. There is just something that would feel so good about repeating this event. But Life is the practice. And the best practice for me is to just keep it to myself, although the temptation is horribly strong. But what is it in me that makes me want to repeat it so? Baser human instinct, I suppose. Part 2 of this response: I just went to bed and continued reading The Tibetan Yogas of Dream and Sleep by Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche. I happen to be at the place where it speaks of the kunzhi namshe, the repository within the individual where karmic traces are stored. The book speaks of compassion, of seeing things non-dually, as a cure for generating karmic traces due to clinging or aversion, which will continue to play out in one's present and future existences, until such time as they are finally dissipated. It appears that compassion is the great dissipator here. In reading these paragraphs, I see my own error in my above characterization of my friend's statement being 'unskilled'. This is a value judgment on my part, a categorization of aversion. Here, by trying to stifle my desire to tell my partner of another's behavior, I am merely giving it strength. Better I should look at the person who made the statement with compassion, knowing that he said this entirely within the realm of his own conditioning, through the lens of his own experience. To look at it through these eyes takes the power out of it altogether. Lesson learned.

I said this because this course doesn't make use of any particular breathing techniques and postures typical of the Eastern approach. It employs guided meditations to teach various kinds of visualizations and affirmations that the attendants can then do on their own, without an instructor's guidance. It is expanding on the work of early pioneers in the field of auto suggestion like Émile Coué, but also integrates modern research into brain wave frequencies etc as well as some of the shamanic practices that its founder José Silva had looked into. The course uses states of deep relaxation (on alpha and theta brainwave frequencies) as a basis for various visualization techniques designed for solving problems and achieving practical goals. This includes dream induction and other methods of accessing one's intuitive guidance. What I found particularly appealing is that participants practice remote viewing and healing. Back in 1990, this part of the curriculum (along with some other influences) helped me to awaken my skills of remote viewing specifically for therapeutic purposes, which I apply extensively in my work with clients and had opportunities to use for you and some other TDB members. I highly recommend this course to anyone interested in the aforesaid topics - which all have got to do with "opening the third eye". Ime, it really works!

I prefer the 'Egyptian outcome' . A man wanted to see inside the most sacred chamber and come face to face with the most high God. of the land, but he was told it was not allowed, only the highest priest and his assistant were allowed to do so, once a year. So the man entered temple service as one of the lowest assistants, he served and studied for years, gradually rising through the ranks. he told his teachers of his aim and they encouraged him to persevere and one day, in his old age, before he died, he may get a chance to fulfill his dream. One day, it finally came to pass, he became the High Priest's assistant. He could do nothing except talk about the approaching day, prepare himself with ritual and prayer and do everything necessary for the preparations. The day finally came, the High Priest stopped him at the final door "Are you sure you want to do this, this is your last chance, this experience will change you forever and there will be no going back to what you were before. " The man said that was the whole point of his journey. They entered the chamber and inside was a statue of Ptah, the cleaned the statue, dressed it with fresh robes, the priest left the offerings, said a prayer and lit some incense . he looked at the man, who didnt seem too impressed. So he said to him "In fact, this is really just the outer temple of the God .... are you ready now to come with me into the innermost sanctuary and see the reality of god face to face ? " "I am ". said the man, and the Priest led him to the back of the room and trough a doorway and up a spiral staircase into a tower. They climbed to the top of the stairs and came to a door. The priest asked "Are you ready to meet God ?" The man said he was, so they entered the room. It was a room on top of a square tower, it had windows all around, the priest led the man to one of them and said "Behold your God." and walked away and left the man there alone. he looked out the window .... the sky was a brilliant flawless azure blue ... a line of geese flew across the valley high overhead .... the river glittered in the sunlight, a fish jumped and made ripples ... a woman was walking up from the river, carrying a pot of water on her head and nearby he heard some children laugh ..... he stood there transfixed - watching . After a while the priest came back and placed his hand on the man's shoulder "Its time to go." the priest told him. The man turned, with a look of wonder and satisfaction on his face " Thank you," he told the priest , "Thank you for everything." And the priest was right - the man was changed, for ever .

If some wonder about why it is important to know what the sentence "all phenomena are unborn" means Well f.e.: for meditation to be actual Buddhist meditation And to cut through samsara/nirvana simultaneously A quote from the madhyamikavatara: If reifying thoughts had substantial entities (as their objects), they would always happen But since the substantial entities have been established not to exist inherently Without substantial entities, these thoughts do not arise. For example, without firewood there is no fire ... Phenomena being unborn in the three times, means they are insubstantial All conditioned phenomena Are like a dream, an illusion, a bubble, a shadow, Like dew or a flash of lightning; Thus we shall perceive them. ~diamondsutra

Too funny... my wife got a call from her cousin in china telling her she had a dream about the lottery level and that she bought tickets... so she was frantically trying to get a hold of my wife to go buy some! First time we did it... but we got five people to give numbers

A reasonable weaving * of the way you make ' light of ' But ..... And if a bird can speak, who once was a dinosaur And a dog can dream; should it be implausible That a man might supervise The construction of light ? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EmnniO_lPi4 Sure ! Flop it out then .

Hello there, my name is Alexander and im fron Greece.I had no previous experience with such stuff as one might say.Two year ago i was rly stressed,had anxiety issues as well as some hormonal (based on what my endocrinologist said).I visited a psychiatrist and later a psychologist after the endrocrinologist promted me cause the hormonal imbalance said was due to psychological issues nad stress (like a lot).Nevertheless i did some therapy but it didnt rly help,they also said i had back then some form of depression.anhdonia and a thing that i felt life as it was a dream whilst awake (im sorry but ican recall the exact term).So after all that i did some reasearch myself regarding nutritional therapies on the intrnet and began expiramenting stuff which kinda helped ( a lot ix ould say).Other that than i changed my diet and overcomed a porn addicton i used to have ( ithink)..Then because among other things i had some insomnia related to stress i think, iread somewhere that meditation could help u relax and then sleep.So i did and then strange things began occur.At the first night some movements which rly scard me ( i though i was possesed or smhting) then yoga like stances,symbols (with) the hands,strange dreams,feminr like dance etc etc Now a year after and after having followed some advice relating to that im having some problems (like allergies,losing weight (at some point) etc) and i was wondering if anybody could u hellp me one way or another cause i rly dont know what is this and id like also to have some more spherical viewSo thanks in advance and have a happy good year!

Or sometimes , one gets swept out to sea .... when the tide is strong ( a symbol of the unconscious ) " ..... Far out with the foam of the present that sweeps to the surf of the past: Where beyond the extreme sea-wall, and between the remote sea-gates, Waste water washes, and tall ships founder, and deep death waits: Where, mighty with deepening sides, clad about with the seas as with wings, And impelled of invisible tides, and fulfilled of unspeakable things, White-eyed and poisonous-finned, shark-toothed and serpentine-curled, Rolls, under the whitening wind of the future, the wave of the world. The depths stand naked in sunder behind it, the storms flee away; In the hollow before it the thunder is taken and snared as a prey; In its sides is the north-wind bound; and its salt is of all men's tears; With light of ruin, and sound of changes, and pulse of years: With travail of day after day, and with trouble of hour upon hour; And bitter as blood is the spray; and the crests are as fangs that devour: And its vapour and storm of its steam as the sighing of spirits to be; And its noise as the noise in a dream; and its depth as the roots of the sea: And the height of its heads as the height of the utmost stars of the air: And the ends of the earth at the might thereof tremble, and time is made bare. Will ye bridle the deep sea with reins, will ye chasten the high sea with rods? Will ye take her to chain her with chains, who is older than all ye Gods? All ye as a wind shall go by, as a fire shall ye pass and be past; ..... " - Swinburne http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/174559