Search the Community

He used to say - "the more you heal others, the more you heal yourself" - that was in the early 2000s. Then when I returned to the center in 2013 - I was told by Jim Nance that until the third eye is fully open then a person can use up their energy, and then at the Level 3 class Chunyi explained that what happens is people open up the third eye (but not fully) - so they use up their psychic energy. Then they get fat from needing to rely on food for jing energy to restore the psychic energy. Chunyi said he has seen that happen many times. So I have not heard him say that first saying that he used to say all the time. But yes what they do say is to "visualize light" when you do then healing. The yin qi as psychic energy is based on the mind as intention or focus, and not as much on visualization. But the key about the universal energy is that you turn the light around so that time goes to zero - Jim Nance describes it as "holding a snap shot" on the image that is being healed - and then time freezes - and then the Yuan Qi energy does the healing on its own. So that is the level when the third eye is fully open. Michael Lomax posts in the "group healing" forum here - he has the third eye fully open. Effie P. Chow also has her third eye fully open and she said how Adam the Dream Healer has his third eye fully open. So that is the qigong master level - a number 5 person by Gurdjieff's terminology. But the even deeper level is the enlightenment healing - a number 6 person which means from beyond physical death - like what Ramana Maharshi did - and so Jim Nance achieved that level in 2013 after he did a meditation retreat on his own - a "sabbatical" for a few months. But to have the third eye center just opened permanently - but not fully open - that is a Number 4 person.

hagar my husband had an employee who recently mede that dream come true. you can have his adress? any way I am sure this dream will come back toyou later in life as fairly the same dream just slightly differently dressed. love

Yes, they "seem" real. So does the boogiman under the bed. Likewise the gods in a person's thoughts. I actually did have a dream last night. No Idea what brought it on. But when I woke I knew it was but a dream therfore no worries. Yes, chairs appear to be real. But I promise you, if you try sitting in an imaginary chair your ass will hit the floor.

Sure,...that's easily agreed upon,...Wisdom is the judicious application of knowledge. However, there is absolutely nothing in that statement that can lead to waking up,...save the understanding that it is dream talk, to sustain the dream.

Here is my recent poem about non-duality or advaita, which has some pointers to contemplate for anyone who is seeking the truth: You’re not your body and you’re not your mind; Not knowing the timeless truth makes you blind; You’re not your story and you’re not your thoughts; You’re not those age old, buried mental knots. You’re not that chattering voice in your head; You’re not anything that you did or said; You’re not anything that you have or know You’re the truth that is watching all this show! You’re not anything that can be perceived; You’re not an object that can be observed; You’re the screen where the world is being played; You’re the emptiness where the form is made. You’re the one witnessing the mind and breath; You’re one without two, beyond birth and death; Like the air trapped in a small round bubble, You feel separate which brings all the trouble. Inquire inside and wake up from this dream! Let truth alone shine like a bright white beam! By inquiry, your illusions will break; You’ll stop mistaking the rope for a snake. – Shanmugam

In dream yoga, you enter the clear light of sleep, and from there you enter a dream. Basically the same thing as wake initiated lucid dreaming, although its combined with transmission of course.

I expanded the above poem and made it as a part of a poetic story. The story is metaphoric and has a conversation between a seeker and an old man.. Read this and let me know your comments: You are the Truth Carrying the weight of past in my head And dragging the scenes which were old and dead, I ran to grab the bliss of the future; The more I ran, the more was the torture.. The torture of the hedonic treadmill Followed me as I continued uphill; I was caught in the prison of craving With tedious thoughts, my mind was raving. I met an ugly old man on the way who had a long thick beard with shades of grey. His face was shining with heavenly bliss; In his eyes I saw an endless abyss! "What makes you so happy in this rat race?", I asked him as he slowly turned his face. He replied,"The answer is within you! The grand kingdom of God is within you!" "That's a joke", I said "Are you kidding me?". "No!" He said, "Turn inward, you'll become free! You've made your own boundaries inside your mind, You've closed your eyes and think you've become blind". I said, "How can I get out of this trap? I want to find the way, give me the map" He said, "You're the way, the truth and the life! Be still and know you're that, and end this strife! You’re not your body and you’re not your mind; Not knowing the timeless truth makes you blind; You’re not your story and you’re not your thoughts; You’re not those age old, buried mental knots. You’re not that chattering voice in your head; You’re not anything that you did or said; You’re not anything that you have or know You’re the truth that is watching all this show! You’re not anything that can be perceived; You’re not an object that can be observed; You’re the screen where the world is being played; You’re the emptiness where the form is made. You’re the one witnessing the mind and breath; You’re one without two, beyond birth and death; Like the air trapped in a small round bubble, You feel separate which brings all the trouble. Inquire inside and wake up from this dream! Let truth alone shine like a bright white beam! By inquiry, your illusions will break; You’ll stop mistaking the rope for a snake" Hearing these words stopped my thoughts for a while. Looking in, I slowly began to smile. I watched my thoughts as they slowly passed by; I observed my mind like a secret spy. For years, I contemplated on his words; I watched my thoughts fly like a bunch of birds. One day, I woke up and realized the truth; Since then my life has been peaceful and smooth!

Thanks for doing this last night, Santi, and tell Susan I said thank you as well. I was not knowing what to expect or if I would even notice anything. I wasn't even sure if I was "doing it right." I think there is a Susan Coleman somewhere who's etheric body is telling me "you dialed the wrong number, don't call again!" But it's okay, cause I know Santiago Dobles. I curled up with my copy of Pathnotes and fell asleep on the part where Doc was talking about shiatsu massages and a certain Suzanne Carlson. I had a very vivid dream about a street hustler who appeared in a dream I had last week. I thought he was a despicable person until I noticed old baby clothes in his blankets that he was folding. I flashed back to a previous dream where he mentioned something about having a family. I realized he'd lost his family and took to the streets. Kind of made me feel guilty for thinking poorly of him at first.

So then Poonjaji states that the first thought upon waking is a thought in the self-awareness. He states that the formless awareness is the space between thoughts. So the first thought upon waking is often still in REM brain state with theta brain waves - this is why you can smell yourself immediately upon waking up but then the next breath and thought you are suddenly beta brain wave dominant and the smell will go away. So I watched this neuroscientist on youtube lecturing on the "mystery of qi" or qi without mystery - stating that it is the cerebellum that has faster evolution of neurons than the prefrontal cortex. I think what he meant to say - more precisely - is that the cerebellum has a larger prefrontal cortex, in ratio to its size, then the cerebrum brain. This was also the main analysis of Stan Gooch - in his book Total Man - he said that paranormal powers is from the cerebellum-pineal gland connection. But the brain on its own is very weak - and so for example when athletes go into the "flow" - this neuroscientist says that means they are "learning to learn" - or meta-learning, and that this is a self-organizing of thinking on its own. As Stuart Hameroff states - precognition is real in this state of the "flow" - that Michael Jordan for example really does perceive faster than his fellow players. The canadian neuroscientist gives evidence to prove this is true - there really is faster perception. So in the REM state - this is also called the Mozart Effect - so when the heart resonates with the breathing and brain then the spirit takes over as a waking dream state for thinking or perceiving. So then - it's proven the "flow" is caused by a big spike in adrenaline to the amgydala and hippocampus so your brain from increased dopamine is able to process faster memories - and so your internal perception is faster so your external perception of time is slower. External time slows down to create the flow as your internal perception is faster.

Although I think I described the created world of 3 dimension + time as being like a bubble in the infinite waters of the Nun, more correctly I should have pointed out that even this world is permeated by those waters. If you tear aside the veil of appearance, of perceived form beyond this you will see voidity (= Nun). Just as if you dig in ground you will find water so the Egyptians understood that existence was permeated by non-existence. The Duat is like a way into, through and back from the waters which are inside normally perceived reality. It is like a hidden dimension inside everything. Nowadays we are taught to dismiss inner experience (like a dream or vision) as 'subjective' somehow not real. But to the Egyptians dreams , visions and so on were access to the hidden realm. So not just on death but in dreams and so on this was access to the Duat in varying degrees. For instance you could say a dream is uncontrolled access, lucid dreaming more controlled access, shamanic ecstatic states would be a kind of bodily access, after death the same, even meditation is like a very small and very controlled movement into the duat dimension if you like. To the Egyptians just as the earth (gross level) is real, the sky (subtle level) is real so to is the Duat. Different rules may apply but they are all real. In any tradition which talks of an underworld or other world ... this is the same thing as the Duat. Actually if I had to make an equation it would be more like astral body (literally star body) = ba, etheric body = ka. However I don't like doing this because I find the terms like astral body to be inexact and not properly defined. The ba is a specific term which can be properly defined and used ... with a bit of work you can say exactly what it is. While the astral body is not as far as I am aware and is just a loose functional term which means different things to different people. I think it may have been Crowley who deliberately cut the silver chord to show that it was just a mental projection ... it was there because people believed it should be, or had been told it was there ... it wasn't essential or 'real'in that sense. If you want a proper explanation of the shade I have to do it in context of the body, ba, ka and so on so I'll try to write a bit more. By the way there are also a few more parts of being like the name "Ren" which I haven't mentioned yet. Set is an interesting god. In early times he was seen as an equal but opposite equivalent to Horus .. rather yin/yang int heir duality. But in later times because of his role in the murder of Osiris he became vilified as a kind of politically correct thinking crept into Egyptian ideas. So he became kind of unmentionable ... almost like a Satan. This is unfortunate because the earlier understanding is 'better'. Set performed an essential role in the overthrow of Apep. This is because his attribute is the 'blind' application of power or energy. Like when you stop worrying about the do's and don'ts and niceties and think I'm just going to do this thing. Pushing through obstacles to get where you need to go. Horus on the other hand, like an overseeing eye sees all the aspects of situation holistically, all the pro and cons of action, the possible results and so on ... you can see that this might be inhibiting to spontaneous action sometimes. So sometimes you have to just say damn the consequences I'm going to do it. Close your eyes and pray I'm not saying this is what those gods are in the sense of a definition I am just pointing to the worldly consequences of their 'existence'. Set is an advantage at certain times. So when faced with overwhelming odds for instance, Set is your man (god). But the by-product of the application fo Setian power is ... random ... is unpredictable ... confusion ... like a storm. Thus Set is the god of desert storms. So a lot of the time you would favour Horus which allows you to see each situation holistically but then at other times Set is needed. An example would be a situation which is dominated by an established hierarchy ... one which worked in the past but is now defunct. It would be appropriate in this circumstance to be iconoclastically Setian tearing down the old order .. but there would be a need to recognise that the resulting chaos would have to be addressed.

Hi again, I have painstakingly refrained from ejaculation for the last two weeks in an effort to accumulate vast quantities of body heat so I can study its effects on different bodily areas. I am frankly disappointed at the results thus far. Sending heat to the neck, chest, abdomen, and limbs produces no effects whatsoever, and heat to the pelvis possibly increases erection quality but it's probably placebo. I don't need to mention again the negtive effects of heat in the head. I don't think it's because I can't produce enough heat, in fact I managed to create so much that it almost burns, and there is a swirling vortex wherever I concentrate the most. Most of the heat I produce within the torso is along what you might call the front and back channels that are the constituents of the so called microcosmic orbit. There is one important area that I have not explored however, and that is the central channel which runs from the bottom in the perineam to the very top of the head. So my question for today is, what is the easiest way for me to enter the central channel so that I can formally investigate its functions? Is there a way to use the heat that I create as a portal to entry? I've already tried heating up the perineum and then sending heat upward from there, but that doesn't work. Now before anyone says that's way too advanced for a one trick pony like me who doesn't even know how to meditate or do any yoga poses, I will say that I have actually entered this channel several times before, but never consciously and intentionally. It always occurs randomly every few weeks within the context of a lucid dream. One moment I am in the middle of a dream, the next I feel an electrical steam starting from the perineum going upward, and I see lots of bright multi-coloured lights and swirls, and when it gets high enough I get a strange and difficult to describe whole-body-trembling-electrical-tunnel cloud effect. So I know that I can enter the central channel somehow; the switch is somewhere, but I don't know how to consciously pull it off when I'm actually awake. Any ideas? Thanks again.

ad hominem is quite simple,....attacking an opponents character, rather than answering or discussing their argument. ad hominem occurs very frequently on TTB. My personal view is that those who use ad hominem are closed-minded, hollow-hearted, bully-types who are so deeply indoctrinated by fear, that they lash out against everything that shines light on that fear. Trent Reznor has a song that is sort of a test as to whether you're a person who uses ad hominem: right where it belongs See the animal in his cage that you built Are you sure what side you're on? Better not look him too closely in the eye Are you sure what side of the glass you are on? See the safety of the life you have built Everything where it belongs Feel the hollowness inside of your heart And it's all right where it belongs What if everything around you Isn't quite as it seems What if all the world you think know Is an elaborate dream? And if you look at your reflection Is that all you want it to be? What if you could look right through the cracks would you find yourself - find yourself afraid to see? What if all the world's inside of your head Just creations of your own? Your devils and your gods all the living and the dead And you're really all alone? You can live in this illusion You can choose to believe You keep looking but you can't find the woods While you're hiding in the trees What if everything around you Isn't quite as it seems What if all the world you used to know Is an elaborate dream? And if you look at your reflection Is that all you want to be? What if you could look right through the cracks Would you find yourself - find yourself afraid to see?

So with proper training after the pineal gland third eye opens up then we experience a new objective reality that is psychophysiological. So for example if a person smells something new - then often the people around might not notice the smell since their cerebral mind already inhibited the smell - they adapted. A new smell is a REM theta state of mind -which is why animals like bears or rats have such a greater sense of smell - like dogs - being in the REM theta waking dream state all the time. So the large prefrontal cortex of humans focuses on vision instead of smell but to access the Dao is based on deep listening. So religion as a philosophy is based actually on logical inference - no belief or blind ignorance is necessary. This is called the I-thought that is self-referential and self-transcending - as our I-thought is the basis for all thoughts and yet our I-thought disappears in deep sleep. So this logic is then applied mathematically in Taoism with the I-thought as the One - and where does the One go into? This is then modeled as different meditation practices and in fact the secret of Taoism is based on understanding the One as complementary opposites of number - so One is a male number and 2 is a female number. This is very different than Western math and philosophy - until you discover "noncommutative phase" in quantum physics again. I have a free pdf on this - https://www.pdf-archive.com/2017/04/10/idiot-s-guide-to-taoist-alchemy/ So the word "religion" means "to bind" just as yoga means "to yoke." So someone who is serious about knowing the Self - as Socrates taught - will logically infer the source of the I-thought as an experiential change in reality. This is called emptying out the thoughts but then an energy is experienced - and to go deeper when the thoughts are concentrated then requires a deeper listening experience as energy or frequency with a change in time as well. So then finally we experience that neither our mind nor our body is the truth of reality but rather we exist within time as formless awareness or consciousness as the Emptiness. So this is a change from within that causes a change from without at the same time - called "noncommutative phase" or the 5th dimension of space that we exist within, that is time-like, so changing eternally, creating 4D spacetime as energy-mass. As physicist Gerard t'Hooft argues - we literally exist within micro quantum virtual black hole-white holes. This can be experienced through the Taoist training. So all the religions also have this mystical secret but the problem with Solar-based religions is that the Lunar energy got lost which is the female pineal gland psychic energy - and so the Solar-based religions like Vedic Brahminism - and Judaic-Islamic-Christian - this is all based on symmetric math.

Thanks for the responses. Some of you mentioned the MCO. I forgot to mention that I do the back also, but instead of up I do down. So I start from the top of the head and go down the back (instead of up), ending in the perineum. This is in addition to starting from the top of the head and going down from the front. I never ever send anything upward to the head. But regardless it doesn't really work very well, and when I start from the top there is always more and more heat I have to send down again. I find that the most complete way to "ground" is to do nothing for a few days. No heavy exertion, either mentally or physically. Basically sit on my ass and watch football on the telly. But it takes forever. I'm looking for a fast switch that I can just turn on and off. It turns on with frightening ease. I remember over the weekend when somebody cut me off in traffic. I had an instant surge of road rage. And it took a fraction of a second for heat to literally shoot into my head. A fraction of a second!!! But sending it back down, well, exercising, walking, eating meat, etc, those things take some time to do, and its never complete. I think that walking barefoot works because it forces attention to the soles of the feet, sending heat there. I don't do that anymore. Instead, I just heat up my feet directly, I''m pretty sure it does the same thing. Jumping also seems to be a quick fix (I think it acts on the same principle), but again it's not complete. So as of right now the only thing that I have found to be 100% effective is a few days of inaction, which is simply too slow for my liking. I hope this whole thing won't take too long, but I already have some interesting results. I had a very strange "dream within a dream" last night... perhaps it had something to do with me sending all that heat to my neck???

I'm seriously considering moving out of my small midwestern American city in search of some serious internal arts instructors. I work remotely, so I could potentially move anywhere. So far, Taiwan has been standing out as a great place. I've read some articles about studying with Chen Yun Ching at the Fo Guang Shan Monastery in southern Taiwan. I've got a lot more research to do before I even come close to making a decision, but I thought I would see what other Tao Bums would do in my shoes. Who is your dream instructor? If you could move anywhere and study with anyone, who would it be? Maybe a side question for anyone who is familiar with Taiwan: is it really the mecca of traditional Chinese arts that its been reputed to be? It looks like there are a lot of opportunities to study internal arts there, but its been hard for me to gauge the quality of any of them. Where can I find the best instructors in the world?

Aside from Mike's suggestion (a good one). I can only tell you what I do and what works for me is to take the time to wake up. Just like there's a transition from waking to sleeping as you fall asleep (hypnogogia) there's another one from sleeping to being fully awake. Some people with disturbed sleep also have difficulties with the transitions (so if you have apnoea, that would disturb things quite some) and IME sometimes a 'bad' dream is all it takes to make me wake up anxious with no real awareness of the content of the dream but awareness of the state of my nervous system. So basically I've learned (still learning!) to wait it out. Usual caveats of awareness etc. I know it's tempting to kick myself into 'get over it' mode and force a shift but I'm trying this way. I don't know which is 'best'.

By our nature and the nature of the forums, we repeat the thoughts of the others. I will do it directlyand not pretend they are mine. This one - from a guy that was trashed in a parallel thread here :-). And just one more view. As are the views of Buddha, Hegel, Kant etc. "Phenomena means all that you see, all that you experience. All that can ever be experienced is all phenomena. Remember, not only are the objects of the world phenomena and dreams, but also objects of consciousness. They may be objects of the world, they may be just objects of the mind. They may be great spiritual experiences. You may see Kundalini rising in you: that too is a phenomenon - a beautiful dream, a very sweet dream, but it is a dream all the same. You may see great light flooding your being, but that light is also a phenomenon. You may see lotuses blooming inside you and a great fragrance arising within your being: these too are phenomena, because you are always the seer and never the seen, always the experiencer and never the experienced, always the witness and never the witnessed."

It's been a long life, no matter how young I am. Day in and day out pondering. The neverending washing sea. I have a theory, prominent amongst the prominent. When I say that it has been a long life, I do not lie. From woodworking to metallurgy, to ancient skills such a flintknapping, just because I felt I should know. When you are awash in the ocean, you might as well swim. I struggle to summarize. I don't enjoy doing so, so I will not. This post, like the Great Tao, will be long and winding. I will not be content until this reality makes sense. Nothing else matters. There is nothing to enjoy other than perhaps taking a walk or food, and that can only take up so much of my day. My theory is simple. Wisdom is will, will is magic. Reality is steady. Why? It takes belief, righteous or wrong, to dedicate yourself to intellect or duty. We plenty of belief. Frightening amounts. But what is magic? It can also be called ESP, but the only magic that's fun is telekinesis. With telekinesis and the wisdom to use it right, every day could be a phenomenal adventure. But why is magic so hard? As long as you've researched it and have an open mind, you will know that magic probably exists. Though there are alot of charlettons who guise for money or regard, I have seen plenty which makes me believe it could exist, and my minor skills with ESP, which I call Farsight, agree with me, but its too hard to describe. In a world of magic, the only responsibility is to common sense, and the only limitation of fun is your own imagination, and that seems pretty damn good to me. The possiblity is worth every last inch I have. I believe thoroughly that the reason that magic is inaccessible is that our intellect, collective intellect, has gone too far beyond our wisdom. Like a scale, when weight is pressed too hard on one side, the plate hits the ground the scale rests on, not to be lifted again by any small force. To rebalance it, we need weight on the other side (in this case, dream/heart to oppose intellect/structure). But I also believe that willing it into existence isn't enough. We also need to pursue Tao... center, depth... For even in balance, too small a scale can bend and break. The true meaning of the soul is the gauge of our inner-strength, and when it is over-encumbered, it becomes bent. Soul is found amongst the winds and the water. Now, I must remind people that the colors of yin and yang are highly ornamental. To the north-west, there is structure. To the south-east, there is desire. To the south-west, there is muchness To the north-east, there is littleness. The northwest is represented as an aqua-blue as dark as hematite, and is of mud The south-east is represented by an amber as bright as silver, and is of smoke The south-west is represented by an amber as dark as hematite, and is of coal The north-east is represented by an aqua-blue as bright as silver, and is of mist The north is of violet, means stillness and consciousness, and is of water The west is of black, means of effect, and is of stone The south if of red, means of energy, and is of fire The east is of white, means of time, and is of wind. When coal outweighs, there is violence. When mist is prominent, there is fear When smoke is prominent, there is excess desire When mud is outweighs, there is excess structure Now, that which is of wind, excessively, feels pain. The pain of fear for mist, or the pain of unfulfilledness for smoke. It is not their fault, they must simply be taught strength, of heart, body or mind. That which is of earth inflicts pain... the pain of violence of the pain of forcing of belief, coal and mud respectively. It is not their fault, they are lost, but they do have to be stopped somehow. Just as gracefully as possible. This world is of water and earth. This reality is of water and earth. The extreme of structure and belief has frozen reality, and the smoke of magic cannot be accessed. Magic cannot be accessed until we are light of mind, and to be light of mind is to become targets to the fanatical masses. To do as you do is largely illegal. In a world of 1 gun for nine people (lord of war, worthy movie), I cant walk around with a sword. Swords are so much more poetic, but if you like em, you probably going to be seen as a crazy person who needs to be stopped. Now, wise men of old, like the founding fathers, made sure that most things that shouldn't be illegal are not, though there is still plenty of moral laws. Most of all, there are still alot of morals. Do as your told, never EVER do what you enjoy, and never question the perfect system. You know its true. I wont get into it... Such topics bother people. Desire can bring us pain if we have no control over it, but most desire does not inflict harm. It can be seen as wrong, but it rarely does harm of you look at it objectively. Now, i still haven't been clear on my theory of the universe. Magic will open when you're deep enough. How deep. Infathomable? Such is the Tao. But depth is just that. It's seeing things for what they are. It's understanding things. This doesn't mean beliefs necessarily, though as long as people do not push theirs on others, it is fine. Depth is a funny word. It's like the fine, moist earths that even smoke can love. It's exceeding mud at its own game. It's the rare tough (resistance to shattering) black stones (manganese oxide is black and extremely tough, like rubber, but harder. It makes tough stones). and the pure waters that roll over moss and rock. With enough depth and dream, we can unfreeze this reality, at least for ourselves, and all that reach this plateau can live a life of adventure and dream, and inspire the many. "I have seen many things in a lifetime alone. Mother love is no more in this brave new world." -Iron Maiden If you care to discuss, write.

You will get immune disorder. ( autoimmune). Here is the schedule: phase 1: human lives without any awareness. Time frame any. phase 2: human gets hit with "first bells ringing". Time frame: some get it in teens, some in 20s, some in 30s. I think it depends on location, culture, etc. phase 3: human starts "searching" outside of their point of reference. Usually finds something quick. In the past it was probably harder, but now with internet and google, I assume one would find their symptoms/issues in a matter of hours. phase 4: human starts to engage in practice. Meditation, taichi, reiki, yoga, whatever western/christian version of "healing", "happy thoughts", etc. Time frame : weeks to few years of "regular practice". First "ball of crap" is usually cleared. Crap can be anywhere in the body ( any body: physical/energy/spiritual) phase 5: human either loses interest in practice ( issue is healed) or human hits "second bells" where sh&t is so so much harder and nothing which worked before does not anymore. I.e. meditation does not calm, yoga does not do, christian priests suddenly presented in a strange light/ etc. Time frame: any, from seconds to timelives. phase 6: option 1: human gives up and spends 10 years in "oblivion" hoping to wing it". Immune decease develops and human dies from "hospital care" or tired of "beatings" goes back to practice and works through mounted crap. option 2: human is warned about option 1 ( i.e. you can take a break for 10 years, but you will still have to deal with this sh&t). Human is screaming and complaining yet is working towards "love and light" which does not seem like reality anymore. Those who had been there before tell human that it is possible to pass through this and there will be relief. source: my conversation with Sifu yesterday. I assume there is no need to say who is whining and complaining and scratching at option 2 and looking to see if perhaps option 1 is a better deal at this point. p.s. aint all cupcakes and rainbows p.p.s. The toxic heat is in my lungs and head right now along with psychosomatic pain all over the body. Random acu points are opening and shooting pain out and it gets better, but then another one opens and does it. I have noise canceling headphones on as not to take any outside energy right now. It helps with sleeping. Although sleeping is very painful too, like "psychic surgery" continues, only my being does it itself in a dream. Draining lots of black blood (? not as thick as oil but close) out of my fingers and taking black bugs out. Since we did meditation yesterday, I assume it will last about 24-48 hours. Note, this is a process about 5 month into almost weekly 4-6 hour a day sessions. Not sure if it is possible to turn this cat into a tiger. Please do not feel sorry for me nor send any energy ( I know some of you kind souls), this is just a process described very well. Thought I would share about "toxic heat" part, so people do not freak out when it happens. I just reiterate, I hope you have a good teacher by your side when you do this. Frying your brains aint good. I thank God every day I have knowledgeable Sifu. I don't tell Sifu how much I appreciate his help though. Don't want to look so desperate I guess...

It happened in a lucid dream. All I can say is that I was in a technologically highly advanced city, standing on a platform in a very high and long elevator-like transportation tube that was interconnecting the buildings. Now I do take Zecharia Sitchin's theory with a grain of salt, but the idea that Nibiru is not another (habitable!) planet orbiting our Sun on an extremely elliptic course, but could be a planet orbiting our companion star, makes it a little more conceivable. Interesting that Andy Lloyd reached the same conclusion: www.darkstar1.co.uk/

Love Only Waits on Welcome. If you wish for love, don’t focus on love,…uncover all the barriers you built against welcome. In Buddhism, welcome is seen as the dharma or highest quality of a person. Real love does not avoid,...perfect love is not coddling,...authentic love shines it light on all the barriers (beliefs) that people have built againt it. True love is honest,...honesty does not tolerate dishonesty. All beliefs are dishonest. All beliefs are barriers to love. 　 A Lojong proverb says, "find the consciousness you had before you were born." To realize that, it is suggested to first recognize that everything we perceive is a dream. Through treating everything between meditations as a dream, all anxiety dissolves, because what's there to worry about,...as the Lojong says, "there's nothing real about our confusion." Thus, through the release of worry comes ease, and through ease the depth of a woman (Aphrodite) no longer frightens us. A frightened man fears Aphrodite. Men, as author Tim Ward says, "wants the foam, the aphros of Aphrodite, but not her depth." Men do not want the wisdom of Aphrodite to get inside them. "They want to watch her on TV, see her on film, or better yet as a porn star, so there's not even a face to remember, just body parts." I feel most people are frightened of love. Welcoming love can make everything one thought meaningful to be meaningless,...a realization that all hopes and fears are irrelevant.

Peace, I began zazen recently and I'm currently having a very difficult time accepting the mental power of 'the now'. I am constantly stopping mental chatter and unawareness. I'm living in the now and it feels very different, as if I am in a dream. The concentration is very powerful. During my prayers I am more involved and not in thought like I previously was. this is great, but it is a bit scary. Is this an effect of 'waking up'? Edit: i am also getting very emotional about it. In some of my sittings I feel extremely angry, sad or even want to cry. And I currently feel like crying for some reason

off to dream a dream... that is the truth.

Looking for Neverland (me too) > I have nothing to say... except this of course... One way... Ive found to..gain more time for practice and study is to have a super green/fruit water diet... not eat too much... sleep much less. What I am working on is... OBE to gain even more time during that sleep... so maybe I can turn 6 odd hours into a week... or a year...or a lifetime... I have read accounts of such... who knows? ... well I have noticed ... some dreams seem to feel like..maybe a day has passed... but only 1/2 hr or so... I think the dream state is powerful place to work if you can get control of it... which I have at times (its possible) I have willfully meditated in a lucid dream before I can't see why you wouldn't be able to practice cultivation while dreaming? ... another way is to find a way to study + work at the same time maybe audio books etc? if the job allows. or music/ mantras you find... I have read accounts of (i'll try find them later)... working people reaching enlightenment (whatever that is)... one of a kitchen hand in a monastry (who wasn't allowed to become a monk) another of a stone worker carving mantras/+ other temple things. hmmm Best of Luck

You haven't broken your experience enough then. Contemplation allows to eventually break or morph one's experience of what it means to be oneself so much, that it's like becoming a non-human, at least for a short time. I don't mean "broken" in a literal sense. I might as well say "fixed" or just "changed". Prior to contemplation one naturally believes certain things and naturally disbelieves others. That's normal. That's how the mind works. Mind has a certain disposition or tendency. It agrees with some things more easily than others. It's true that we are taught what to believe by society to a large extent, but also we have internal inclinations and some things we are glad to learn while others we learn slowly or resist learning. So even from a dualistic perspective one should see that not everything comes from society. One's own mind has a certain kind of make up to it. This make up is not always explainable to the public with easy descriptions. You don't have to apply conscious effort to have this kind of "default" make up. So in a sense, you are right. You're right in the sense that you didn't have to work to create these rules that you observe. So you might think since that's the case, these rules exist externally. Consider a case of dreaming. When you dream, dream worlds also have rules. Are they external to the mind? I think even the materialists will easily accept that the dream-world rules are internal to the mind. But then the question arises: if the mind can maintain so vividly and so accurately all these rules, why do we need some substance or physics to explain it? Alternatively, does physics explain just how it is at the time, or does it explain how it can ever be? Most people take our current understanding/descriptions/science to mean "this is how it ever is". They don't think, "This is a visionary experience that's temporarily like this, and can change to a different set of rules at the drop of a hat." These are hidden assumptions. Most people don't voice them and don't even think about such things. The problems comes from thinking that effortless equals non-intentional or extra-intentional. The thought goes, "I don't make anything to make the street appear how it does, therefore, since I don't expend effort on it, it is that way ON ITS OWN, external to me, which is to say, external to the scope of my intent." However if you contemplate intent, you have to understand that if effort is to have any meaning, one must be able to have different degrees of effort, in other words, one must have a continuum of degrees of effort from little effort to a lot, and then effortlessness must be a PART of this continuum and therefore cannot signify anything extra-intentional. Alternatively if effort has no degrees, it loses its meaning. Then it's not a state we can exit or enter. It's a constant. This is not congruent with our, and definitely not with my own experience of exertion. To me effort is something that can gradually build up all the way from effortlessness to maximum exertion where I begin to lose sense of myself (over-exertion which jeopardizes one's identity-integrity, for example bursting a vein from an effort and dying, thus at least temporarily not being able to recognize oneself as one used to shortly previously). Also, if effort is constant, then we cannot conclude that such thing as effortlessness exists, since it's then not detectable as a change in anything, and therefore the state of the street is one of effort too, then again you get to a funny point where you realize that this branch of thinking also leads to the same place. The place of there being nothing extra-intentional. If you go further you can eliminate things being intra-intentional too, etc... and that's the entry into a complete mystery. Then nothing at all can be said at that point. Even if you say "things are spontaneous" that's also not entirely correct from this level of insight. At this point one sees spontaneous and intentional phenomena to be identical in their nature and perhaps hesitates to specify what the difference might be, or comes up with 10 or 10000 seemingly contradicting types of differences, etc., in other words, exhibits an intense freedom of mind.