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Hi A.A., When speaking of yang shen, are we referring to an energy body that is created to exist outside of our current physical body? When I first had a peek at Huimingching, I thought 'hey this is all about astral projection'. Then I thought it was odd the idea that one could make any number of immortal fetus and release them into world. Ok, so something else going on maybe. I'm thinking that a yin shen would be like what is called an astral body or dream body, hence insubstantial and ghost-like. Whereas a yang shen is the opposite--being able to manifest in a solid seemingly physical capacity to be seen and interacted with by physical beings in the world. The question is whether consciousness 'goes into' a yang shen. Is it a new vehicle that a person can move into leaving the origin body behind? Astral body seems like an extension of consciousness, a way to reach outside our scope, but still connected (and these apparently fade after original body dies). Is yang shen like this or is it actually a whole new being created? A mother gives birth to a baby; the baby is like her but is not her. How shall we understand this? thanks, and thanks for taking the time to expound on Wuliupai teachings. 8)

Point proven. Thanks ps - it came in a dream last night that you do not live in Malaysia, and now its confirmed. In fact, the name of your location came up as well, so you're not that hard to find, ethereally.

Yes of course. But the above will help in shifts that occur out-of-the-blue. The idea that one is a somebody that can be linearly impacted in time as in a process A-B-C will disappear and be looked upon as a dream.

I got the book after I saw that post on the general forum. I had had a rare lucid dream last week and I decided to ask my lineage ancestor for advice, and the reply was a radio-like voice to get a book on dreaming. So I thought that perhaps this was the book to get. Its pretty good, as you say, in a step by step expanation of dream yoga, preparation practises, and what to do inside of dreams. Alot of this I was practising already, but its good to have a coherent teaching on the subject, not like those wishy washy new agerly type. Another thing is sleep yoga, which I didnt know existed, or read and forgot. This is maintaining the clear light of rigpa during the entire night of sleeping. Thats certainly a goal. Once you have that, after you die you can go from bardo into the clear light. I havent really tried the method yet, using the tigle visualizations, the black hong, and the tibetan A.

From within my own awakening. In a dream last night i saw Max, and many others. In the dream there was a computer on a desk, and on the screen was the name of one who attained golden dragon body. Max spoke in the dream. My heart was healed. I met Kan. He has Great compassion. It was truley an honor to meet him, I would not want to see him disapear On intolerance, and hatred. Intolerance makes the heart weak because no emotion can get in from those around us. We get weak from it because we don't get the food of the soul -Love. Intolerance forces lying, and hatred to happen. Perfect alchemy: Love, Familly, Community

SAMARTH RAMDAS The world is as good as unreal to him who is absorbed in the meditation on the name of Rama [God]; and then with the vision of Rama, the whole of the phenomenal world will appear as a dream. To apprehend the Absolute Reality is, no doubt impossible for the speech, the mind and the intellect. But what this really means is that It can be realised without their aid, and that Its bliss can be enjoyed without there being any prior want or desire. If you wish to see God, you must cross the front gate in the form of this phenomenal world. The chief characteristic of a saint is that he is always intent in looking at the vision of God, whatever may be his condition or activity while he is in society. He becomes as fearless as Reality and devoid of blemishes like anger, jealousy, sensuous desires and so on. What is very essential in spiritual life is the combination of the realisation of the Ultimate Reality and the renunciation of all other things. Without any disgust for Godless things, there will only be a verbal knowledge about God, and the growth of God-realisation will be much hampered. And without God-realisation, renunciation will only be a pretence. One must therefore make himself free internally as well as externally. ---------------------------------------------------------- RAMAKRISHNA The mind steeped in affection for woman and wealth is like the green betel-nut. So long as the nut is green, it remains adherent to its shell, but when it dries, shell and nut become separated; and on being shaken, the kernel moves within. So when affection for women and wealth dries up from within, the Soul is perceived as quite different from the body. The knowledge of Oneness makes me see that everything is but a manifestation of God, the Absolute, on the plane of sense. Thus do I realise that all women are so many forms in which the divine Mother appears. Hence I revere all women alike – be it an unchaste woman, or an ideal wife who is an example to others of conjugal love and devotion. Unless one becomes as simple as a child, one cannot reach divine illumination. Give up your vanity about the worldly knowledge you have acquired, and know it to be futile in the realm of higher Truth. Be as simple as a child, and then only you will reach the knowledge of the true. Only two kinds of people can attain to Self-knowledge: those whose minds are not encumbered at all with learning, that is to say, not overcrowded with thoughts borrowed from others; and those who after studying all the scriptures and sciences, have come to realise that they know nothing. Jnana never comes without the renunciation of lust and possession. With renunciation is destroyed all ignorance. Many things can be burnt by means of a lens held directly in the rays of the sun. But you cannot use it in the shadow of a room. Even so with the mind. You must take it out of the dark cell of this world and expose it to the full blaze of self-effulgent Divinity. Then alone will come true renunciation, and all ignorance will be destroyed.

I had a dream once, many years ago: A golden baby Ganesha came to me and told me I'd be visted with a difficult practice soon. Then I gave the baby Ganesha a bath and the bath water turned to milk. The next day, I took a trip with my lover to Venice beach for the first time. An Indian man was selling images og Lord Ganesha, and one image was a golden baby Ganesha dancing. I bought it, took it home, and gave it a bath in milk. I thought that was all. A week or two later, my lover discovered she was pregnant. At first I was very happy, but then she decided to abort the baby. At first I tried to be supportive, but in my heart, I really wanted the baby. My lover chose to go through with the abortion anyway, we seperated, and I was left without a home. I was wandering through a book store feeling quite destitute, and I remembered my dream. I thought, "What did that dream mean? Surely that baby Ganesha didn't mean to hurt me with his news. Surely he meant to help me, he is a loving god isn't he?" At that moment I saw a book on the shelf entitled "Loving Ganesh." I overcame that troubling time, and a practice I learned from that book was to chant the following: "Om Shri Ganesha ya Namha" I would do this using a mala, 108 times, after sitting zazen, so that my mind would be very quiet and clear. Thank you for allowing me to share this story.

HEY PETER, THANK YA FOR YER REPPLY, LOOK DA ALCHEMICAL TRADITION TEACHES THAT REALLY ANCIENT PEOPLE NEVER EJACULATED (GOLDEN AGE), THEN THEY ONLY EJACULATED FOR OFFSPRING (SILVER AGE) THEN THEY STARTED EJACULATIN FOR PLEASURE N THATS WHYY DA HUMAN KIND DECCAYED FROM DA STATE O DIVINE GRACE. IN DA RECENT PAST (LIKE OUR GREAT-GRANDFATHERS' TIMES) EXCESSIVE MASTURBBATION WAS EVEN BY DA MEDICAL PROFESSION, HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR SUCH AILMENTS AS NEARSIGHTEDNESS, GRAY HAIR, POOR MEMORY, SHOIRTENED LIFE SPAN N LACK O GUTS IN GENERAL. IF YA HAVE HOLD IT FOR 7 YEARS CONGRATTULATIONS, HOW-EVER, UNLESS YA CIRCULATE IT IN DA 8 PSYCHIC CHANNELS N YA TRANSFORM IT AND/OR STORE IT INTO DA BONE MARROW, EVVENTUALLY YER HUEVOS WILL EXPLODE N ONCE YA EJACULATE AGAIN, IT'S LIKE A DAM BREAKS OPEN N THEN YA'LL BECOME AN EJACULATOR LIKE MASTER PIETRO. ALSO, I CAN WITNESS FORM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE THAT ONCE YA HAVE ACCUMMULATED A FAIR AMMOUNT O SPERM N CORRESPONDIN CHING, THAT IN DREAM DA SUCCUBUS FEMALE DEMONS WILL LURE YA INTO GIVIN UP YER SPRAY IN DREAM N THEY'LL SUCK YA DRY. THOSE CREATURES BE VERY REAL INDEED IN THEIR OWN PLANE, THAT'S HOW I CAME TO PRACTICE DREAM YOGA IN ORDER TO EXPAND MY NON-EJACULATION PRACTICE TO DA DREAM STATE. SO NON-EJACULATION YOGA IS SOMETHIN VERY PROFFOUND N BROAD N IT INVOLVES A LOT O SIDE PRACTICES BESDES JUST *NOT CUMMIN* IN ORDER TO BECOME A PERMANNENT ACHIEVEMENT. HW-EVER, DA FOUNDATION IS AS SIMPLE AS *NOT CUMMIN*, THAT'S ALL VERY SIMPLE. THERE'S NO MAGIC WITHOUT SEMEN RETTENTION, OR, BETTER, THERE'S NO *MALE* MAGIC WITHOUT SEMEN RETTENTION. THAT'S VERY CLEAR TO ME. BYE NOW, RJ

I m trying to find something of more self testing, and how we can feel or know it is authentic. I m not saying someone tell us if it is real or not or we tell others. according to what you said, how can we know if the ghost we saw was not a mind way of escape mechanism and get our focus into something else. how we can know ourselves if it is a real mind state or we dropped in a thought or dream of the mind.

"I can tell you I was so tempted to leave this 'miserable' material world" Really? this "world" / reality we live in, is very perfect and very far from misery and imperfection. It is just a mind judgement to what is, and in your own mind, it is negative and miserable (according to what you said). I would say, this holographic experience you had, is just a mind image that comes out from your beliefs (energy, celestial...) and as you said, lust, and I would add your perception of the world (as something negative). It is a mind sort of escapism (advanced dream thought) of what is, created to elude your focus from effective meditation. As we improve in meditating and in increasing our awareness, the mind will also improve and develop, and so its techniques that elude our awareness of what is.

I have noticed that if I ever ejaculate manually, my semen is very normal looking and very white. If i go a long time without ejaculation, inevitably i will eventually have a wet dream in which it is like the eruption of mount st helen. However from the dream my semen is extremely thick like jelly and is not white at all and more of a golden color to it. Can anyone explain this or tell me what it indicates?

Hello Chris! Although I haven't read Journey to the West, I've read about it. It's about 2000 pages long. The Monkey King faces challenges, and defeats them by changing into various things, shapeshifting. The 72 feats are just the 72 things he changes into, so far as I can tell. I didn't find a list of them, though. So it sounds like lucid shapeshifting is the goal; I don't know if the specific feats of the Monkey King will bring special results, but the practice of shapeshifting in Lucid dreams helps to solidify lucidity and control. That is, it's one thing to be aware of being in the dream, but frequently at this point you still are just in the dream. Practicing changing yourself, and the environment, is an essential step in being able to direct the lucid state, which allows you to get from the dream world of subconscious regurgitation to the astral realms - anywhere, really. I love the idea of doing the Monkey King feats. Let me know if you find any specifics, and if you have any success with it. I'll do the same. Best, Jim

Sharing my recent experience. My istha devata is Lord Shiva. In bed, I was practicing Yoga Nidra and slipped into a vision/dream. In a hot coal furnaces with white/red flames, I noticed a python burning in the fire. First reaction from me was to panic and try saving this python and tried finding anything to pick it up. Then I saw it's eyes which was black but very serene and reassuring. I seemed to ask (non-verbal) if it's burning up but it said no and it's perfectly alright. And then I saw it's body... it was made up of hot coal it was resting on. I noticed my spinal column warming up while having this vision. My interpretation of this entity is that it was a "Naga Deva" from underworld but somehow connected to Kundalini.

I've recently added sleep yoga practices - connecting with the clear light during sleep. More challenging than dream practices but the results are also more direct and profound.

I don't believe. I know that, at this very moment, there is an awareness of a full spectrum of 'light', whatever that is, congealing into an 'essence' that suggests something we collectively label a word called humanity. I see that all of it is inseparable. Everything after that is hearsay. A concept such as 'existence' or 'non-existence' has no reality. That's just an assumption. Make-believe. Right here and now there is a consciousness that is aware of itself. Everything else is a symbol of that ancient knowing. No screen, no projector, just a space with no beginning or end - clear all the way through, a brilliant display that unfolds into ever more bountiful freedom. Man is a symbol. All this world is a symbol, all of the phenomena signposts pointing to a jewel within a lotus. I can't tell you what it symbolizes because you are it. I can't show you the truth because you are currently in the process of knowing that truth right down to the core. It's easy for a dream to dream of itself when every single thing that can ever be conceived of is a quirky self-reference to it's own nature.

Ok so I have been awful at keeping up my practice but it is constantly on my mind and stresses me a bit (especially since my pain is creeping back). Financial year end has me on my computer at 5am... This morning I had a lucid dream, in which I found myself spontaneously cupping my hands opposite each other at a "Monk gazing at the moon" distance. I was sitting. I noticed my hands were suspended in the air by themselves as if being nestled into the surrounding air. In the middle was a small white ball. Does this sound familiar to anyone?

I always Liked Joseph's Heart. I liked his cultural sensitivity and his approach of shamanism being rooted from oneself, YOUR relationship to community, YOUR relationship to nature, YOUR relationship to spirit etc, and not about ideas or concepts appropriated from another culture. I liked his honesty, and his willingness to put people straight. One of the aspects I studied in anthropology was just how different indigenous belief and practice is when compared to how people writing and holding workshops in the West show 'shamanism'. But then the same can be said of Daoism and "neigong" so Part Two: What Is A Shaman? I was beginning this section by discussing the "call" to become a shaman. But I realized as I was doing so that it is vital to identify the MEANING of the word shaman first. It is the misapplication and misidentification of the word "shaman" that has led to much of the current state of confusion. This section of these writings hopes to alleviate some of that confusion. I do want to clarify one thing before we go on. Toteg Tribe uses the words "shaman" and "shamanism" in a classical sense. This is not the "Toteg definition," as it would be if we arbitrarily chose it to be. It is instead, and significantly, the definition accepted by historical and anthropological scientists and academics to identify a particular type of spiritual practitioner found in different cultures all over the world. It has a precise meaning, not one couched in the current collection of vague generalities. There are certain specific characteristics that identify a shaman that other spiritual practitioners do not have. I'll get into those later. This doesn't make a shaman any better or any worse than any of the other spiritual practitioners that exist. It merely classifies him or her. In any indigenous culture, even in modern American culture, there are many different kinds of spiritual vocations. All of them have their own validity and their own honor. Not one of these vocations can be fully understood by persons who neither practice it themselves nor avail themselves of the services of those who do. Even though there are frauds in each one of them, each of the vocations itself is deserving of respect. Each of the practitioners of any of these various areas of spiritual work is just as important in his or her field as is any other practitioner, including the shaman. The various classifications of spiritual workers are many and varied. They include people called to practice such vocations as those of the priest, minister, psychic healer, midwife or doctor, medicine man, diviner, spiritual teacher, visionary, dream interpreter, "psychic", sorcerer, magician, and many another magic worker. You may practice any, or many, of these vocations yourself, and the list above is certainly intended to be neither complete nor exclusionary. But no matter what your particular vocation of spirit may be, and no matter what term you may choose to use to identify yourself, please bear with me and don't use the word "shaman" just yet. Since the mid to late 90s when the word "shaman" became the new catch-all term for spiritual worker, most frequently in the current fad of all things "newage" (rhymes with "sewage") it seems to have no particular definition of its own, or to share indiscriminately in all of them. I've seen it applied in all seriousness, at random if not completely haphazardly, to each one of the practices mentioned in the above paragraph, as well as to countless others not so mentioned. That's really sad, because the result is that the uninformed public has taken a perfectly good word with a precise meaning and broadened its definition so much that in common usage it has become about as useful a term as "nice" or "stuff."' Of course, there is now a raft of publishers of the same kinds of "newage" books, who have recently found in the word "shaman" as "kewl" a buzzword as once was "astral travel" or "past-life regression." In the expected fashion of people in the business of sales, they have discovered that by attaching that word to an otherwise slow-selling book, one finds that its sales suddenly explode, especially if one can also find an unscrupulous author-lecturer who is willing to do the lecture circuit in a thousand dollars worth of beads and animal parts, sharing "awe-thentic shamanic visions". That most certainly has added to the confusion, but that is not the worst of it. It has caused the actual persons who are indeed shamans and have that spiritual skill to offer, to be regarded in nearly all Western cultures with a mix of contempt and condescension, as inaccurate as it is disrespectful. That is significantly unfortunate, as the work of the shaman is a task requiring such dedication and skill that in those cultures where shamanism is an accepted spiritual vocation, the shaman is regarded with an awe and respect bordering on fear. It is not surprising, when one realizes exactly what authentic shamanistic work embraces and requires. A shaman's job is to perform magical acts such as spiritual healing, divination, dream interpretation, and other arcana. The shaman may be skilled at finding lost people or objects, locating animals for the hunt, guiding souls of the dead to their appropriate place in the other worlds, driving away or pacifying evil spirits, increasing the fertility and/or sexual vigor in the herds, community, and individuals, and so forth. At first glance, even these kinds of activities may not convey to Western minds the delicacy and precision with which the shaman’s path must be performed, or the deep respect with which the shamanic practitioner is regarded, After all, many of these are the same things that various other kinds of spiritual people do in the different societies and cultures. There is, however, a big difference in the skills of the shaman, one that makes a shaman different from every other kind of spiritual practitioner. A true "shaman" does at least part of the work required of him or her by entering into a profound trance, known as an "ecstasy", in which the shaman actually ventures to "walk between the worlds", there gaining the knowledge or information that is required to perform the given task. The word "ecstasy" as used in this context is a precise and scientific term, not the synonym for the word used in romance novels, the one that means "joy or happiness" in any sense at all. The word "ecstasy" as applied to shamanic practices is identically defined as was the original Greek word "ekstasis" literally meaning "to stand outside the self." It denotes that state of almost cataleptic entrancement in which the shaman is oblivious to the outside world, leaving his or her body as a spirit, and having direct contact with the spirits that are causing the troubles, or that can aid in solving the problem. This state of ecstasy (not getting stoned on various "power plants") is the one characteristic unique and universal to authentic shamanism. Attaining this state is not done by those who are performing "pseudoism" rather than "shamanism", and without it, there is no shamanism happening at all. It is the single prominent identifying factor of the classical shaman. Now, if that is the experience you have in doing your spiritual work, you may have some justification to go ahead and use the word shaman (after finishing this essay.) If this is not a state with which you are personally familiar, I suggest you; 1) read on, and 2) call yourself something else.

Freedom of being. We're all, in some form or another, searching for freedom. To be, or not to be... that is the question. It's an oxymoron though, because 'not being' is just another form of being. Even the void can be seen through. There is no difference between this dream and that dream, so when, during your ordinary life, the edges of your car wind into an eternity revealing endless sentient beings and their dramas, the profoundly far-reaching effects of this very moment may be a little more... self-evident? Perhaps it will serve as an inspiration to become a bodhisattva and end suffering.

No different. Its the conditions within the mind which cause the difference of views when experiencing states. Thus the reason why certain things happen in a dream state and certain things happen when not in the dream state. But alsso know that the dream state is said to be a state because one's body is resting and there appears to be an existence of forms and emotions at that time. The waking state is not any different. The only time there would be a true waking state is if the discriminating mind were dropped. Then all states are no states, and there is nothing that needs to be manifest, but is manifest just for the sake that there are those who still hold onto views. Peace, Lin

Yes you are totally correct here and also that in the dream state, our afflictions are more obviously in our faces and easier to see, than in the "waking" state. In the waking state, we view our afflictions as enjoyable, and harmless, but the same afflictions appear in the dream state as extreme situations, demons which appear and harm, emotional craziness, etc. It is more emphasized in the dream state for our intellect is just that much more put down while in that state, yet not in totality. Peace, Lin

We're made of water. Stand there. Yun-Kuan Tzu Chaos- pearl of no price where waters red, the harvest muddy roiled but blinding bright held in the hand like the hand of a lover divines, divines, against what passes in this world for clever no tricks nothing doing. the sun and moon endure their rush and don't grow old. sail backwards? row against the flow? to hell with that. you'd better be known for being quiet clear water-sound fine mountain colors nothing to do with right and wrong bamboo's shade on a rush huts window heres music in a way you cannot say to any man light wind in bamboo deep flowers shadows moving a cup of strong brew a couple of lute chords reveal a dark contrivance hoard marvels I may use dream an empire of ants wake to know the world is vapor is a dream. by willows shade in shadows of the pine back up against all karma stopped the monkey heart is skewered the racing mind, coraled the moon bright, the breeze pure alone i speak of endless life. Han Chung-li an officer of highest rank dreamt an empire of ants and cast the seal of office down straw sandels are light a bramble staff is firm go laughing with the sun and moon to end of endless lift. Lu Tung pin is gone beyond his spirit suns a thousand other worlds merit, fame, and grass and mustard seed the same the old guy took his bramble stauff and smashed up all distinctions. Chang Kua lao popped riding his white ass backwards through illusion born in purple clouds coiled in ruby mist every night he folded that old ass up swallowed it to sleep in bliss. Lan Tsai ho left the common world in her hands the bamboo castinets cold jade shaking heavens gates wobbling the axis of the earth: pure air, bright moon and she, there singing endless life. Old Moon-toad Liu, prime minister of Yen. back from a dream and freed from flowers mysteries departed, took to sea put a snow flake in a rosy stove and wrought a golden image. Kuang Cheng tzu aged 1200 rests in Kung tungs cold white clouds teacher of emperors, teacher of kings heaven and earth were all he needed all things are one within this nameless visitor from nowhere. Old Fan li, preprared the rise of Yueh now floats with the moon at Five Lakes. right and wrong forgetten fame and profit out of mind sounds the flute savors the reed flowers snowing Chang Liang helped raise the Han then cast off all accomplishgment and fame now dwells in mountain blueness munching dragon livers, chewing phoenix eggs made the pill of endless life a bottomless basket full. ancient Lieh Tzu, master of Pu Tien in a breath rode beyond the realm of dark and light called to the Morning Star summoned the Dipper dreamed omens of an Empire awoke And Lang Jan-tzu changed his sack of skin to a toad of gold and flew away ghosts and spirits flew heaven and earth turned white there is a face you could not paint with any colors. my homes in the flowering mountain my joy in the purest idleness in a rush hut by a blue grotto at the end of a crazy winding path at noon I take simple meal and when I'm full I take my staff and wanter to the mountain top and gaze. who envies you oh high and mighty all done up in purple and dangling your bade of rank my heart's at peace I'm satisfied with me there arn't many in the world today to match this crafty rascal. Done with the world and pure as darkness nothing to hold me nothing restrain the old guy here within the grove before blue cliffs the moons companion. mad and singing drunk and dancing smashed, polluted with the wine of endless life. when I'm drunk I sleep and even when I'm not I loll my head and stagger east and west completely shameless there is no spring there is no fall toot toot, woo woo the music keeps me young gathing simples, going home white clouds flying mists melt black mountains and this wandering mystics straight astray blacke apes gall and green birds cry a magic crane goes before me, dancing leads me to my cave. back to the cave pull the brushwood door shut call out the boy and lets play chess if we get sad we'll have a few cups drink toll we trip on our sandals of straw and then fall asleep with our clothes on these peaks and cliffs are strange and rare blue pine and cypress all around it's quiet, few men pass a light hearted sadness to live here distant, at leisure. the flours gone sour the grain in the bin has gone stale my ladles busted, and even my old wooden bols got a hare lip no salf, just a couple of onions contented hearts my portion; it's sweeter than the sweetmeats of the world. in straw sandles and a belt of help in a rush raincoat dangling an old gourd ladle half like a fisherman half like a woodcuter my head like a raspberry patch and my face like a dump I'll bear your laughter. laugh at me, I understand the moon and the wind are my friends I sleep in the clouds I play a jade flute and taste for these may be difficult for you to learn one time hungry next time full wander n my patched old sheep-skin coat with half a brike for a pillow I nap in a heap in a pile of grass listen to them, laughing laugh in you want I understand so I've used up a fortune... I've thought it over carefully, and it doesn't bother me. I'll just straggle down this road 'til I've dance to some paradise.

The reality is that this "dream" or "delusion" exists in the relative sense, to disregard this fact would be delusional! From the point of view of the Absolute, relative existence may seem to be be unreal (this is simply my opinion), but the fact that you experience this so called dream, means that it exists, dependent upon other factors of course, it has no inherent existence because of its dependent nature, but it still exists in a temporal ever changing sort of way due to the fulfillment of Karma. It came from emptiness, sustained briefly then dissolved back into emptiness, therefore its true nature is empty yet it's relative nature was dependent upon other factors for its existence, it's empty nature was never born, will never be sustained and it will never die, yet its relative nature had a birth a sustenance and a death, it was fleeting, temporal, mirage-like, limited. Remember the middle way of approach, the Tao, neither leaning to either extremes yet perceiving both. Believing that someone has achieved Enlightenment is not enough, we have to work to achieve that state, meditate, transmute and remove your own obscurations.

I appreciate your concern. Thank you and thanks to K, and any other people who have shouted out as well. The question asks about your past though. Well, the word "before" has two meanings. One meaning talks about the past. That's the obvious one. The other meaning talks about something fundamental, something more essential than what we're habitually observing. So, one can say before I am 'goldisheavy', I am human. In this sense, being a human is more fundamental than being a specific kind of human, namely 'goldiseavy'. The problem is, this second meaning is not obvious, and teachings should be skillful and helpful, preferably immediately, and preferably without necessitating secret mental gymnastics. If you want someone to perform mental gymnastics, it's better to just say so straightforwardly and openly, without it being a hidden and implicit ask. Generally, if the person is bewildered, it's not a good idea to use puzzles as teaching tools. First, the confusion should subside. Then, once the mind is clear, one can be given a puzzle in the right context. One would be shown how to contemplatively work with the puzzle. Exactly as you are doing now. But one would show that before giving the person such puzzle. And from what I've read about it, in Zen tradition that's exactly what happens. Before the koan is given, one is expected to have some background in Buddhist literature. And then one is shown how to work with the koan. And then there are periodic interviews which help to control the work that happens with the koan. All in all, koans are losers, imo. Everything koans try to say can be said better directly, without chicanery, and contemplations can be equally as productive, if not more so, without the use of puzzles as tools. Thing is, even the regular "straightforward" experience is already plenty puzzling on its own. There is no need to puzzlify it even more on purpose. You're talking about an immediately understood and sensed level of intent. Thing is, when you go to sleep, do you intend to hang on to your waking experience? I don't know about you, but I don't. I intend to let go and forget, to the maximum extent possible. And yet, the content of dreams is generally similar and readily relatable to the waking experience most of the time. Not always. But most of the time. Why so? The question about death is a very similar one to the question about dreaming. Will the last feeling you have before falling asleep determine the dream you have after you fall asleep? I have some experience with this. And the thing is, the last feeling may have a significant impact, but it will not determine every aspect of the dream, and nor will it work consistently either. So relying on a feeling at the moment of suicide to put you into a heavenly realm is a false hope. This is my answer to the question that's been asked. If you can help it, it's better to die with a good feeling than to die with a bad one. But one feeling will not all by itself direct your destiny.

Yes. Ganesh appeared to me, once, in a dream. It was over twenty years ago, but I'll never forget it. I was under the strong impression that wealth isn't necessarily material things. Please PM me, if you would know more.