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I can relate to this actually because I felt the same thing happening to me. You realise that nothing is 'solid', nothing lasts, nothing has any innate meaning other than the meaning we ascribe to it. The world isn't what we imagined it to be for all those years and "I" am not what I imagined myself to be. I think maybe depersonalisation is the realisation that there is no person as such...it's a construct, a dream character like whoever we happen to dream ourselves to be at night. Also the moment we chase after something in the world and attain it is the moment we lose it because of the ever-changing nature of the dream. I got very depressed and demotivated over this. I had similar symptoms to you, Sunchild. Friendships slipped away and my emotions evened out so much I didn't experience great elation about anything anymore but neither did the little things (or even at times fairly 'big' things) bother me. I like the teachings of vedanta though because they help us see that the emptiness is not the final stage, that the emptiness is actually a fullness. James Swartz says that after all this realisation stuff, it's important to give the mind something to do -- the mind is goal-oriented so it helps to still do things we enjoy...not because we seek to gain something from it, but just to give the little dream self some projects to keep it happy and ticking over Whatever floats our boat, as they say. I write. And I got a puppy. Animals rock.

I've read James Swartz talking about depersonalisation in a few of the satsangs on his website. Dunno if this might be of help. (from http://www.shiningworld.com/top/images/stories/newSatsangs/November_2011/Between_the_Devil_and_the_Deep_Blue_Sea.pdf) "You cannot engage because you know there is nothing there. It is a kind of existential limbo. The problem is not that the world is empty, because it isn’t. The problem is that you can’t see that you are full.You are unable to turn your attention away from the body and mind and the world and look at the one who knows that the world is a dream. When you do this, you see that the emptiness is actually a fullness, that everything is meaningful and beautiful and that there is no need to connect with it because it is already connected to you."

My mother who has had a brain injury for the last 8 years, was rushed to the hospital and nearly passed away again. During the hospital stay and care , one of my friends that i had not spoken to for a whole year sent me a message. In her message, she described a dream she kept having for 3 nights in a row; seeing myself and my two sisters and herself, and wondered if everything was okay. My mom and her had great relationship before my mom's brain injury, and i had let her know that my mom was in the hospital and wasnt't doing so well. It was not until a few months later that my friend told me about the dreams and how it all made her feel. We have reconnected since and she said that in each everyone of the dreams there was a clanking spoon in them. I had shivers run up my spine and I burst into tears because my mom called her KASIKA, which translates into SPOON. She could never pronounce her name Kasha, so KASIKA it was. Has anyone ever reached out to you in a dream? Is this a mere conicidence? I'd appreciate any insight

There are no distinctions.....your immediate knowledge is the knowledge of the future. Done.... What is the future and what is now anyway? If you don't grasp on at any particular moment, everything is in a state of change, in a state of flux, much like the Tao. Seriously, I have been receiving visions about the Ukrainian crisis. I have been informed that the crisis will enter into another stage...given with things are now, it is going to happen. Talking to my man Putin in his other ego and identity. I even received another vision indicating that the key to avert a civil war in Ukraine would be rested on who will get elected as the next president. heheheheh I think I have precognition ability but only to major world events and maybe about other people. Visions about myself are often too confusing to make any sense. When tragic events happened like the sinking of the South Korean ship or the missing Malaysian plane, I always wonder if I have some precognitive dreams about them. I had one few days before the Japan Tsunami hit Fukushima. I could still remember the menacing, "frighteningly beautiful" giant waves in my dream. Anyway, paranormal super powers are the side effect of the mind to have entered into a second or higher states of jhana. Is no different than people knowing about their past lives.

life is more beautiful to me now, although with an overpowering observer perspective. the whole muted emotions thing, my desire/passion is now a husk, Dreams are gone and i don't dream at night. i'm not sure if we are supposed to enjoy life here anymore

This is what I just don't know. Maybe the one I see in the dream (the nasty one) isn't the same one as moving my games. Someone told me once that there were playful spirits in my living room but upstairs needed cleansing! Also, two guests that have stayed over have told me they have felt weird and creeped out staying in my spare room.

Hello everybody, I'm really enthusiastic about chi disciplines (nei kung, chi kung, yoga and so on); i wonder why there isn't yet a complete classification of these; i wonder why the heaven included the virgin mary through May Huang Chen dictate to the world that only the first two levels of mo pai are to be practiced!! the situation is absurd and not tolerable, the world NEEDS nei kung!! they make us obey with the excuse that a man at the 30 or 50 level of mo pai is dangerous... i say this is not the excuse to deprive us of mo pai!! i am not the type of man who travel a lot, but there must be someone like kosta or jim who do a research of all the types of nei kung and chi kung styles and study their characteristics, the good powers that give and do an enciclopedia about it, and websites with forums about every style. i hear voices, not uditive hallucinations but real voices and they told me that the fusion of east and west will happen and john chang dream to have mo paist in each country will become true, however they didm t tell me when it will happen. i think we should meditate to solve the problem

Ok, I am convinced that something is trying to get my attention. Computer games are going missing from their boxes and ending up in random places. At first, I thought it was me being absent-minded, or friends. But over the past month I've been so busy that I haven't played them much...and no one has been round, so I'm ruling friends out. The other day I found a game I had played recently in the case of another one which I definitely hadn't been touched in months - it was at the bottom of the pile! Now on to last night. I developed a cold overnight and awoke around 5am sniffing etc. I was in and out of consciousness then I ended up in some lucid state (this has been a regular occurance around April time...but I wonder if the illness has triggered it) Anyway, in this "dream" I was walking back into my bedroom. My partner was in bed complaining that I had been making too much noise...but she appeared posessed. And as I tried to approach her, I became paralyzed as if something was holding me back. I couldn't move so I started screaming... At which point, my partner who was in fact lying next to me, woke me up by grabbing me. Like I say, I'm use to the paralysis/lucid dreams and have always seen them as sort of paranormal...yet still a creation of my own mind. I have battled demonic-like creatures before in them...I have also has very euphoric ones too! But with games being moved about in my house, I can't help but think that there is also something external involved. Thanks for reading. I look forward to your replies!

Hello Cihan, Thanks for your nice post about mental visions occurring before jhanic states (deeper absorption). That is a regular and most pleasant feature of the FP Chi Kung Meditations. And they are unusual because they can happen very soon after one starts practicing the FP system, as you have experienced. My sense is that different FP Meditations will bring on the "Nimittas" for different people. But because, as I have said all along, the effects of each and every FP Chi Kung exercise are cumulative, with persevering practice, one will inevitably reach a point of advanced practice where the practice of any one of the "basic level" of the FP Meditations (those taught in my DVD series) will induce the Nimittas and impart very pleasant, brain-activated, altered states of consciousness I recall that in Year One of the thread, within the first few months after Fu-doggy started it, a subscriber who had just started practicing the FP with the DVDs commented something to the extent of: "Enjoying the FP practice...everything that a great Qigong should be." And I believe he also related how he experienced mental images of Buddhist iconography, which was interesting to him and perplexed him, because he had no interest whatsoever in Buddhism (that he was aware of)! I also explained how while training under GM Doo Wai in the early 1990's, we students not only communicated psychically by sending mental images to one another (at a distance of about 12 miles) but the GM taught us how to do this by having us conduct a controlled experiment that led to each person verifying their remote "reception" of a classmate's mental projection. And I posted in detail that in the same evening following this exercise, while sleeping, I experienced dreams in a way that I had never experienced before--and discovered the next morning that I had exchanged or switched "dream modalities" with my classmate Jeff Roth. (see the Year One post) All these psychical events are in the same "ballpark" or "genre" as the nimittas that you described--only with practice we developed some volitional control over them. High level masters like GM Doo Wai and and the late Share K. Lew had extensive control over their psychic projections. For they could project mental images, thoughts, auditory experiences, and moving mental images (live action scenarios just like a film or video clip) to a person and "plant them" in their mind or nervous system--most easily through the dream state, but also during a persons' waking state. I became acquainted with a variety of each master's very real hocus pocus during my apprenticeships under them. At any rate, enjoy the nimittas! Sifu Terry Dunn

Art ... yes An art alchemical. Intuition ... another whole other thread there ! Intuition works best when backed up by learning and experience, things get lodged in the unconscious where many processes happen that we are not aware of , then a result or impression is thrown up , as if out of nowhere, (as we are not, by definition aware of the unconscious) and we call it intuition. Its a good facility to develop and many of our senses and mentation from their input is on an unconscious level. I too advocate a strengthening and balancing of all the facilities as well. balance is very important. I also like to see balance .. as well as the duality in the above image ... as four fold, elemental. Coming from 'spirit' is fire your will and individuation, water- here you can place intuition and other things, air , which includes your Logic, Reason, Rational Thinking, etc. and earth, your physical body . I agree with the 'doing something about it' approach (no earthly use at all ) all four need to be used and equally balanced. That gives a base and a space for you to 'rise up' and your individuality and own (as opposed to others projections and expectations) sense of identity to shine. I see it like this; we get an inspiration , stoke of genius, etc (fire), we see how we feel about it, intuit, harmonise with it ... some even say 'sleep on it' and what is this but running it through the unconscious (water) , then think, rationalise and logically nut out the how and possibilities (air) and lastly start doing something about it (earth). Without air one might have a great inspiration but be awaiting the arrival of the 'space brothers' to fix anything, no fire is no inspiration and nothing starts , only empty stuff that really doesnt inspire us. Who wants to do something that just doesnt 'feel right' and with no culmination in earth, its all just a pipe dream. I like to keep them in order and harmony ; mind is third, thats tricky as mind likes to think it is first ... but you can do a deal with it Same as not to let one's emotions rule or neglect the physical body, or fail to nourish the spirit or fuel fire. Depending on the approach, lifestyle and environment ... when I visit aboriginal friends, at their sacred site I suspect there is no difference and then it starts to rub off on me. I try to remember that when I come back to the 'real world'. Its a matter of balance again I suppose. Edit: I remembered advice someone gave me once; try to always maintain an advanced aware state, but one that allows you, when need be, to navigate the supermarket.

My SONY dream machine is around 22 yrs old now -still going strong, but I prefer the phone to beat it to the punch with the sound of seagulls and swashing waves which is less abrupt. Next best plastic appliance was the original Mr Coffee machine, (and I only tossed that having decided it was an eyesore). Its nice when an item lasts , does its thing faithfully etc.

I also read through the link provided by baguaKA and the contributions of Grand Master P and Wu Ming Jen and wanted to participate with my little experience. When I went there as a tourist two years ago for a week, I had a mixed impression and would have a lot to say. But I will try to make it short. I met several young people (and less youg) chinese and westeners who had come to train tai qi and learn more. They were really dedicate and serious and kind and it meant a lot to them to be there. For some, it was their lifeway, for others a meaningfull break in an otherwise busy life. Anyway they had come for meaning and created it being there. When I left, I had a strong experience in the train back to Wuhan. I had a long talk (several hours) with a young 25years old girl, her father and a friend. They told me about their trip to Wudangshan, showed me the fotos. Real tourists. and I was impressed by the feeling of what a rich experience it had been for them, seing the temples, reading the scriptures on the templefronts which they translated for me and tried to explain to me. Being there together had a kind of unsaid quality. Because I have been with a Chinese friend in other places, I know many chinese go in the mountains when they need to think, or make an important decision. Behind what seems a mass of tourists, there are people who are eager to find meaning, or to dream of other dimensions or to show their fotos back home or sometimes all of it. And we are part of this mass. And how can we go on creating a significant path also in this society, also in the middel of a consumerist world, also as the role of money grows, or maybe because of that our path is even so important. As I was In Wudang shan, walking along lonely paths in the mountain, I had a special experience. I don't remember If it was willingly or if it happened but I started seing immortals faces appearing in the rocks. And the more I walked the more I saw these strange faces and bodys appearing all along my way. I took some fotos, and thought they would have disapeared on the picture. But when I looked at them later, I could still see them.

Just wait until you can enter in a samadhi in your sleep, dream. And seeing the nimitta growing like a fireball in your third eye, in your dream. At times, you may see this nimitta before or after your vision too.

Just confirming that this person really did stay with me. I told him I would not post anything about him so I am honoring that. I also told him "thanks for the kudos." I will say something he does not know. The very last time I saw him - which was downtown Minneapolis. - that was a precognitive dream that came true. So I had already experienced that - what I call a "glitch in the Matrix."

Xabir, Thank you for sharing and sharing your experience. Lately, I have come accross some realizations, experiences. My meditations have been to turn the attention back towards the thoughts that arise towards the left back of the head. I examine a thought and watch it dissolve. I focus on the little space left behind and then try to remain there. Another thought appears and I again I behold it until it dissolves. I do not let the thought proliferate or cause other thoughts. I remain in the space, watching. After about 10 minutes of doing that, there is an energetic shift which takes place. It feels as though the inner body dissociates from the physical. My hands become fields of energy and it feels like my body has fallen away. That is when the visions start. I then proceed to do the same technique to the visions. I don't follow them, but look directly at them while keeping a certain distance from them. Sometimes I receed back into 'that which is watching the consciousness watching.. When the visions dissolve, they always dissolve into rainbows and very small beads of fine light bubbles. As I maintain my perspective, some of the visions that arise are so real, crisp and clear that they appear just like a normal worldly scene would. This is becoming quite common and I am gaining the understanding that this worldly reality appears to be just like the vivid scenes during my meditations. The interesting thing about this type of meditation, in which I am trying to do nothing but remain in the natural state, is not only causing visions but also precipitating nimittas (very bright lights that resemble the sun poking through the clouds. Very bright blinding intense light. Just by doing next to nothing. This made me realize that you don't have to do breath meditation to realize nimittas, it is more based on the stillness/calm of the mind. The other thing I will mention is that a few weeks ago, I had a dream that was so real that I had to really think about it in the dream. I thought that I was really in another reality. When I thought about it, I decided the only way to see if I was dreaming or not was to turn my attention back towards myself. When I did that, my presence became filled with very clear golden light, like the light of pure consciousness and I then had a satori moment, right there in the dream. Then, I woke up. So, yes, I can see that Thusness' comment about it spilling over into other aspects of reality seems to be the case. But mostly, right now, I'm very happy that I've found Buddha's method that he used to become enlightened. I will write about it in another thread. All the best. TI

Also from one of my e-book journals: 3rd October 2012 Thusness told me that the stream of wisdom will penetrate into the three states eventually, many years ago. For example if you keep chanting something, or if you keep playing computer games, then in the dream these things will appear. Likewise when you get acquinted with wisdom, this appears into dream and deep sleep as well. This is the flow of dependent origination – ignorance flows, wisdom also flows. This is another dream that Thusness told me to wrote down. It happened last night. In my dream, I was contemplating something that the Buddha said: 531 "Bhikkhus, when ignorance is abandoned and true knowledge has arisen in a bhikkhu, then with the fading away of ignorance and the arising of true knowledge he no longer clings to sensual pleasures, no longer clings to views, no longer clings to rules and observances, no longer clings to a doctrine of self.[11] When he does not cling, he is not agitated. When he is not agitated, he personally attains Nibbana. He understands: 'Birth is destroyed, the holy life has been lived, what had to be done has been done, there is no more coming to any state of being." (MN11: Cula-sihanada Sutta) As I contemplated this in my dream, I saw how when there is craving, when there is agitation, when there is clinging, I could project consciousness out of my body into another place, into the sky, into another realm, into another lifetime. I saw that this is how rebirth works - craving drives the entire process of becoming! And then I stopped this craving-conceiving-projecting, and I was back where I was - on my bed. But I am still sleeping. And I instantly entered into this incredible bliss again (this happened a few times so far) - it was sooo blissful like the last time. But this time, it lasted much longer. I can feel my entire being, even my face, is of this intense blissful vibration. After some time which felt longer than the last time (it was quite long and I began to wonder how long it will last), then as thoughts arise, the bliss begin to lessen until I woke up from the blissful sleep samadhi. May all beings put an end to becoming and attain the highest bliss of Nirvana. p.s. THIS is well said ---> 29. “So it was with reference to this that it was said: ‘One should not neglect wisdom, should preserve truth, should cultivate relinquishment, and should train for peace.’ 30. “‘The tides of conceiving do not sweep over one who stands upon these [foundations], and when the tides of conceiving no longer sweep over him he is called a sage at peace.’ So it was said. And with reference to what was this said? 31. “Bhikkhu, ‘I am’ is a conceiving; ‘I am this’ is a conceiving; ‘I shall be’ is a conceiving; ‘I shall not be’ is a conceiving; ‘I shall be possessed of form’ is a conceiving; ‘I shall be formless’ is a conceiving; ‘I shall be percipient’ is a conceiving; ‘I shall be non-percipient’ is a conceiving; ‘I shall be neither-percipient-nor-non-percipient’ is a conceiving. Conceiving is a disease, conceiving is a tumour, conceiving is a dart. By overcoming all conceivings, bhikkhu, one is called a sage at peace. And the sage at peace is not born, does not age, does not die; he is not shaken and is not agitated. For there is nothing present in him by which he might be born. Not being born, how could he age? Not ageing, how could he die? Not dying, how could he be shaken? Not being shaken, why should he be agitated? 532 32. “So it was with reference to this that it was said: ‘The tides of conceiving do not sweep over one who stands upon these [foundations], and when the tides of conceiving no longer sweep over him he is called a sage at peace.’ Bhikkhu, bear in mind this brief exposition of the six elements.” (Buddha, MN 140 Dhātuvibhanga Sutta)

If you are doing Self-Inquiry, there will come a time when there is no thoughts, no sense of anything... except Beingness, Presence itself, I think that is what you mean by You/Projector/etc. That Existence which is its own Knowing as it is non-dual. It is the very core of Being as Presence-Awareness. This I AMness is a transcendental experiential realization where consciousness is directly perceived as a pure sense of Existence. It is beingness, consciousness, bliss. The experience is intuitive and beyond the realm of thought. It is a non-dual and precious experience of pure consciousness, however its nature will quickly be misunderstood resulting in reification. Nevertheless it is an important realization. When you have realized it, there is 100% no more doubts about what you are, you will find that you have realized the very fact of your own Existence with utter certainty. Anyway this is the kind of realization that many teachers including Eckhart Tolle is pointing to. There will also come a time when during sleep it becomes incredible an unimaginable bliss-presence which is non-dual. This can occur in dreamless sleep and in dream states, even in sleep paralysis (which will dissolve all fear into total non-dual transparency, presence/clarity and bliss)... from experience it will happen but let it come naturally as a result of maturing wisdom, there is no need (at least in my case) to intentionally bring it about. p.s. your experiences with body, life-force, etc are good

Hello Tibetan_Ice, I'm doing well, thanks for asking... just a little busy lately with studies so not much time to participate in discussions. Hope you're doing well too Having realized the formless Beingness/Presence, there is a tendency to reify that formless Beingness/Presence as being of a higher, more ultimate status than other forms and experiences. Then with the view of inherency and duality, it may be treated as an Eternal Witness, and later the One Mind subsuming all experiences. However, after anatta, the 'mere appearances' are not treated as 'passing, unimportant stuff' but are realized to be Buddha-nature themselves. Then that intensity of luminosity of SOUND, of SCENERY must be directly experienced (and will naturally be experienced after anatta). The key that leads to this transition is the realization of anatta (as an insight, not merely a nondual peak experience): In hearing only ever sound, no hearer, in seeing only ever just scenery, no seer. There has never been an actual agent, seer, seeing the seen - the seer-seeing-seen framework is a delusional reification. What is this 'SOUND'? It is Pure Presence itself... Then next is to see the illusoriness of this self-luminous-display (and the self-luminosity IS the display, the spontaneous manifestation), still as vividly bright, present, yet like an illusion/dream, empty and non-arising. Then there is truly One Taste in all manifestations and in its essence as self-luminous clarity and its empty nature. When Self-originated primal awareness is realized to be always this spontaneous manifestation, then all manifestation are recognized to be one's empty clarity. Just this is the Dharmata, the nature of reality. I was reminded of something Thusness wrote some months ago. As I said in the other thread Thusness does not represent Dzogchen whatsoever (and he is always careful not to be mis-associated as some Dzogchen-related person hence this disclaimer), but still I feel there is some relevance to this thread. He said to Jackson Peterson in Dharma Connection (fb group): '' John Tan Haha Jackson, u never give up. This heart is the "space" of where, the "time" of when and the "I" of who. In hearing, it's that "sound". In seeing, it's that "scenery". In thinking, it is that "eureka"! In snapping a finger, it is seizing the whole entire moment of that instantaneous "snapping". Just marvelous such as it is on the fly. So no "it" but thoroughly empty. To u this "heart" is most real, to dzogchen it is illusory. Though illusory, it is fully vivid and brilliance. Since it is illusory, it nvr really truly arise. There is genuine "treasure" in the illusory. I think Kyle has a lot points to share. Do unblock him. Nice chat And happy journey jax! Gone! December 12, 2013 at 8:24am · Unlike · 10 ......... John Tan Hi Kyle, Actually I am saying instead of attempting to deconstruct endlessly, why not resolved that that pure experience itself is empty and non-arising. In hearing, there is only sound. This clear clean and pure sound, treat and see it as the X (treat and see it like an imputation/conventional designation as u explained), empty and non-arising. In seeing, just scenery, just this clear clean and lurid scenery. Where is this scenery? Inside, outside, other’s mind or our mind? Unfindable but nonetheless appears vibrantly. This arising thought, this dancing sensation, this passing scent, all share the same taste. All experiences are like that -- like mirages and rainbows, illusory and non-arising, they are free from the 4 extremes. Resolved that all experiences are non-arising then pure sensory experiences and conventional constructs will be of equal taste. Realize this to be the nature of experience and illusory appearances will taste magic and vajra (indestructible)! Groundless and naturally releasing! Just my 2 cents of blah blah blah in new year. Happy New Year Kyle. 2 minutes ago • Unlike • 1 February 6 at 1:50am · Edited · Like' p.s. Kyle (asunthatneversets) also shared with me his realization of anatta years ago: ...my most shocking and powerful experience so far was anatta in the theme of that first stanza thusness wrote: There is thinking, no thinker, There is hearing, no hearer, There is seeing, no seer. It actually came on suddenly one day and it was intensely profound for me, brought me to tears... in that experience thought actually cut out completely as if it was buried... and I unknowingly forced it to come back so I could jot down mental notes on the experience which were actually exactly the same as his stanza, seeing no seer, hearing no hearer, experience IS...

or the birth of an idea, ideal, dream,,,,,,

My first kundalini energy rising experience was very memorable and tremendous. You have been in darkness for SOOOOO long and, some how, when the chi begins to circulate in your body and to have completed the MCO, the sensation is tremendous and very life reaffirming. For a while I asked myself why, after a decade of my first kundalini energy rising experience, I could no longer re-experience this tremendous physical bliss. I didn't get my answer until I begin to study the subject of samadhi and how even your physical bliss sensations would slowly fade off...because your mind becomes more refined now. Even your sense of bliss is an illusion, depending on your 6 senses. Nowadays, I still get the inner body illumination and some chi warming throughout my body and they will last from 30 minutes to 1 hour. My samadhi experience is now more conceptual and less of physical. Not sure what stages of Samadhi I am in now. And only in dreams, or dream yoga, I can enter into a full Samadhi and with a bit of astro-projection....

i believe you took my statement as literal. when i said that, i meant as far self-indentification goes. an aspirant going from being stuck within the illusion of I/ego with all of it's trappings/suffering, to them gradually identifying with/"dissolving into" 'all' their surroundings and seeing the world as an extension of themselves. self-realization. there are users here who have attained such to a degree. the state i was referring to is know as nirvikalpa samadhi. i appreciate this quote and teacher- "Samadhi is as the ocean to which all Sadhana flows. The seven streams of Yama, Niyama, Asana, Pranayama, Prathyahara, Dharana and Dhyana all find their consummation in it. Every trace of name and Form disappear in that Ocean. He who serves and He who receives the service, he who meditates and He who is meditated upon, all such duality is dispelled and destroyed. One will not experience even the experience, that is to say, one will not be aware that he is experiencing! Oneself alone, naught else - that will be the Samadhi. If there is aught else, it cannot be Samadhi. It is something like a dream, a fantasy, a passing vision at best. Samadhi can admit of nothing other than Brahman. - Sathya Sai Baba.

Hi everyone, I always was very grateful to those that shared their experiences from the S-M workshops. Thus I could paint a vague picture of what to expect or not to expect and yes, these reviews made me quite curious to start with Ya Mu’s system. First on my own from the book and the DVDs and now finally after one year I took the next step and attended one workshop myself. At the lobby I left some brief words about myself, in case one is interested. In this post I want to cover these topics: my experiences as an autodidact my experiences from the workshop what changed after the workshop my advice to autodidacts and beginners pre workshop as an autodidact As already mentioned, that I started with S-M on my own just with the book, the DVDs and several posts here on TTB. I didn’t rush into things and let the “theory” of the book and the post soak in until I started my fist S-M sitting session one or two weeks later. It took a while until I made myself comfortable on my stacked pillows and then I finally started with the opening ritual. I went a bit deeper and there it already was: circles, waves, nods - the whole body, just the head or no movement at all. I was even a bit surprised, that it felt so natural to give in into these moves and to just let them happen. Even more: It felt like they have been always there - like coming home. Of course I had some troubles doing the full hour in the beginning. Sometimes I would stop already after half an hour because my legs would hurt or I would loose focus on _not_ indulging. I practiced maybe 4 times a week and eventually I got used to it more and more, but until this day I am not always one hundred percent comfortably sitting and can’t always turn my head off entirely. I guess it was a couple of months after my first S-M sitting session, when I first felt qi traveling up my spine and sometimes even into my head. I knew this feeling from my short Tao Yoga practice and from hanging out at places of power. At this time I slowly started with GOT I (btw: Gift Of The Tao as an acronym -> Gott which is the german word for god). Some moves I immediately liked, some I loved and some I had no special connection with. But it as well took some time to get used to the movements and to be able to focus solely on the energy. I guess it was after one or two months, when I felt the energy within my body moving also. With some moves more, with some moves less or not at all. Nothing extraordinary, but I could notice that there was something going on. And, maybe since I try to sink deeper into the movements, I often even tend to have S-M like movements within my GOT moves, especially at the more static once. At some sessions it even happened to me, that the energy was not just following my movement, it was basically driving me (especially at the atomic symbol) and like an observer I just went along with it…well, like an astounded observer, to be honest. Still I was not practicing more than 5 times a week, but it became a habit though and I got even a bit uneasy if I didn’t practice for more than 2 days. I can’t tell if my pre-workshop practice “worked” in S-M measures or terms, but I felt good during and after each session and somehow it grounded me. Especially when I faced extremely busy times at my job where I was basically caught in the treadmill with only little spare time and often separated from my dear wife, the S-M Neigong gave me confidence and mental stability. It was this time, when I went to a familiar place of power. I picked a place on an energy line that I divined with my pendulum (my “listening” crutch) and practiced GOT I there. It was incredibly charging and - I am tempted to even use the word “healing” - exactly what I needed at this point. I felt even more happy and thankful that I had found out about the S-M system. It was as well about this time, when I slowly felt more and more the urge to visit one of Ya Mu’s workshops. the workshop I live in Europe and therefore I initially wanted to only join a distance class, since I read very positive critics here on TTB. But I’m very happy that my wife talked me into travelling to the US to visit a face-to-face workshop instead. A decision, which I shouldn’t regret even for one single second. From the very beginning there was such a positive, warm and friendly atmosphere among the attendees - from beginner to senior student everyone was extremely pleasant and helpful. One could ask even the most basic questions about the practice or the personal experiences and there was always someone there to assist you if one encountered some sort of uncertainty. The same applies for Ya Mu. The positive reviews on him here on TTB are definitely not exaggerated. It is this unique way of combining knowledge, experience, wisdom, energy and humor, which makes him such an extraordinary person and teacher. He would always take time to show, explain or to give an advice if requested. And yes, sometimes he has this cryptic way of answering questions or explaining that one would expect from a master - but I never had the feeling that his intention was to confuse, but only to make one think and find the answer due to introspection by oneself. The workshop itself was a vivid mixture of practicing the GOT movements, spiritual expansion / rituals / projections and further explanations on techniques, historical anecdotes etc. This is roughly the agenda, how I recall it: Day 1: Taoist warm-up + 8 Brocates GOT I + II (except Spirit Circle and SECB+DE) S-M Tree Qigong Day 2: Taoist warm-up + 8 Brocates SECB+DE Spirit Circle GOT III Food Blessing, S.H.I.E.L.D., Spiraling Technique,… Day 3: Clinical application: projection Clinical application: Taoist Medicine As far as I heard, there is no set agenda. A lot seems to depend on what Ya Mu feels to be right at that very moment and of course on the group dynamic and the questions asked. But there was always a flow in the program. Even if sometimes we would sit a couple of minutes in silence to simply experience its energetic plain beauty - an electrifying calmness like resting in an electrical high voltage field that would cause the body hair to erect and the air to sizzle. The seminar room was incredibly charged due to the practitioners and the exercises. On the morning of day two, even without focusing on it, I felt the energy penetrating my body and raising my energy level. Something I only experienced at certain places of power - I was astonished. But let’s get back to day one. After the warm-up we immediately started with the GOT I movement. The GOT sessions were very helpful and important to me, because even though I tried to study the moves on the DVD’s as much as possible, I noticed that I couldn’t capture them entirely. When I say entirely, than I mean as far as I could get at this certain point, because I am aware that there is just one person that is able to capture the moves and the energy or the idea behind it completely. The explanations, corrections and discussions between the single moves gave me a much better understanding and therefore much better perception of the energy that we are moving and gathering with the help of the moving patterns. I didn’t practice GOT II before the workshop. The only thing I did was watching the DVD and letting it soak in. Thus the first time I went through the whole GOT II moves was the day before the workshop and I was happy I did so, because after GOT I we started with GOT II right away. I was already quite charged and the further practice of GOT II felt even more powerful then, even though my mind was quite occupied with focusing on the moves and not completely on the energy. It was even a bit awkward, that my palm and my forehead where constantly sweaty because of the heat within my body. Then it was time for the S-M session, that we started seated and in the middle continued standing. It was not just a normal session, because it involved some chanting from Ya Mu and as well some projections and energy work on the attendees. My memories are a bit blurry due to my state of mind at that moment. I only can and want to tell that for me it felt like strong emanations of energy cleansed the room in the beginning of the session and later energies streamed through my body like I have never experienced them before. My energy channels/centers seemed to get opened up and finally strong bursts of light went through the top of my head in my perception. I experienced something similar in my pre workshop practice, but at the seminar it was like every other exercise just several times more intense and actually even more like a revelation. After the session I needed to sit down and had to dry some tears off my cheek. I was still quite puzzled and moved, due to these events, but at the same time incredibly calm. Still a bit wobbly and gently circling with the energy I was looking around and realized I was not the only one contemplating what had happened during the session. On the second day we got introduced to GOT III, which is not available on DVD yet. Again I started to get quite hot very soon due to the energy of the moves. As well we caught up for two moves of GOT II that we haven’t covered on the first day. The SECB+DE differed from my personal practice from the DVD prior the workshop mainly in the detail that we stayed much longer up in the light after every expansion and jump. So again I could pick up a different perspective of the exercise. I expected that the Spirit Circle would be just the missing move showed on the GOT II DVD. No, it was much more. I cannot decide if the S-M session on day one or the spirit circle was more mind blowing. Even though I have perceived maybe just a fraction of what was going on I experienced incredible, indescribable energies and occurrences. Nothing I could or would like to put into words. Simply astonishing. The second and last regular day ended with a recumbent Qigong technique and with some further details and explanations about the system and specific techniques like food blessing, S.H.I.E.L.D.ing, practicing etc. The third and last day was optional and had the focus on medical Qigong. After a brief introduction we split up into groups and basically started right away with the practical application. Under the supervision of a senior student one or two novice students would project energy in order to help at a certain issue like stomach problems, strained ligaments, headache etc. I personally asked for easing my breathing. I once had a quite reduced lung capacity due to allergic asthma, which is almost gone due to sports, mental development and diet changes. But only just almost - I still felt a slight resistance when exhaling sharply which doesn’t really bother me, but I could immediately tell if it would be gone because of any projection. To be honest, the projection of the other student in my group had basically no noticeable effect on my lungs, even though I felt the projection to some extent. Thus the senior student continued with the projection and indeed, after just maybe 30 seconds of projection there was not the slightest resistance anymore. After a couple of minutes I was asked to again determine my breathing capabilities. It was not as present as in the beginning, but it slightly came back. So again I received some energy and again the resistance was gone within seconds. During the practice Ya Mu was constantly going around to assist if needed. When he passed by to ask about the progress in our group, I explained that it worked pretty well on me and then he projected even some more light for maybe 20 seconds. I have to admit, that even though it is high pollen allergy season right now, I basically have no or at least much less breathing restrictions than I would usually have at this time of the year - simply amazing. The results of the other groups where quite similarly positive and even beginners where able to emit Qi and most caused positive effects on their training partners. I never had projected any energy knowingly, so therefore I was a bit skeptical if I am even able to. I was allowed to project onto the hand of a senior student who was quite sensitive to emitted energy. My first attempt worked, but not perfectly since my Qi didn’t make it all the way to the hand. She gave me a very helpful advice and suddenly it worked like a charm! A novice student with seeing abilities could even distinguish between cold and hot Qi - I was happy and amazed at the same time. Never would I have thought that I would be able to project energy. To make sure, that I was not just lucky once, later that day I projected onto a sore ankle of a senior student with the same result. The projection and the pulling worked. But not only that he could feel the projection and the pulling of the sick Qi, even the pain was gone completely afterwards. But as well I noticed that projecting lots of energy has its price, because afterwards my energy was quite low for some minutes and I even felt a bit dizzy and sick. I had my shield on and wore the gloves, but maybe not strong enough. I can’t tell, but it was and is a good reminder, that Ya Mu’s cautions regarding the shielding and recommended minimum practicing time to build up enough Qi are valid. On the third day we as well learned the Taoist healing method, where the body and its disturbances are picked up and balanced via certain points beside the spine. It was highly interesting and everyone felt very relaxed afterwards. But my eye-opener happened at the very end. One participant was still lying and receiving the Taoist treatment while some others including me were discussing our experiences. Ya Mu then checked on the lying “patient” and noticed a small disturbance still remaining. So I reached out to apply the Taoist treatment on this area and Ya Mu put his fingertips on mine. I immediately felt a weird tingling in my small finger. Ya Mu told me, that one notices the right energy vibration, when the thumb seems so sink into the back and indeed, it appeared like my thumb was sinking in for 5mm (one quarter of an inch). And then he said I would maybe pick something up from the area where my little finger was resting. Oh yes, now it made even more sense! All in all one can really notice that it is not money, prestige or ego that is driving Ya Mu. Such a workshop must be exhausting with all the projections, demonstrations and continuous questions of the students. And still he is there to willingly respond, advice or demonstrate all day long to clarify even the smallest uncertainty. This workshop was most definitely an incredible experience and still some happenings are occuring like a dream and I am very curious what the future will bring. post workshop I most definitely have a different level of awareness now. I am not able to put it into words, but trees are not just trees any more. Humans are not just humans anymore. Everything is energy and I am part of it. Not that I didn’t know that already before, but now it simply feels different. My GOT sessions are much more productive. Of course it needed some time to get used to the slight adaption due to the feedback at the workshop. But after that all the moves have their place now for me. Before just some of the moves were speaking to me. Just recently I did my first full GOT II session. I can’t explain how surprised I was when I sucked in the vortex for the first time with full focus on the energy. I usually have my eyes closed, but there I suddenly opened my eyes wide because I was simply shocked and thought: “What the heck was that?!?” I didn’t expect such a powerful sensation. All in all I feel the energy much more at the movements. As well the expansion at the SECB+DE. One not so positive aspect is, that some fears from childhood came back to the surface, where I had the feeling, that I was not alone in the dark and therefore of course scared. Well…I worked a lot an my shielding… ;0) I tried to project energy on my wife’s hand to see, if this gift is there even without the field of the other practitioners. And yes - it is there. My mother had a strong pain at her heel. I projected energy for maybe 30 seconds (she could feel a knocking) and pulled sick Qi from the area and afterwards I asked her if she felt a difference and yes, the pain was not gone, but much less. Of course it came back the next day, but what can one expect from roughly 30 seconds of projection of a novice. In my opinion still an impressive proof of the power of S-M Neigong. The sitting/standing S-M sessions didn’t change much, maybe because I already had the movements and certain sensations before. Probably further progress comes with further time and effort. But what changed is, that the gentle moves are now quite often there as soon as I just give in. Before I had to allow them in order to initiate, but now it is more that I have to allow myself to not go along with them. And it takes just slightly more and the gently moves turn into the bigger moves and eruptions that I am used to from my normal sessions. But always controllable at will - no awkward spasms in the office or while waiting at the red light ;0) I performed the Taoist treatment on my wife. The result was amazing, even though it did not reduce the back pain that I actually wanted to address (remember - it was just one session). She felt a lot of heat, at some points severe pain even though I basically didn’t apply any pressure and as well other sensations. She didn’t sleep well that night, and she had the feeling that something opened up. Both, she and I were impressed about the effects of this treatment. I want to particularly point out, that one is not left alone after the workshop. After the Taoist treatment on my wife I of course was a bit scared if I maybe did something wrong since she had troubles sleeping in the night and hot flashes. So I asked Ya Mu for his advise and not much later he already had replied. Recently he even asked about the progress which I found extremely considerate - I mean, how many teacher do you know that would go to this extent? As well the senior students offered their support if any questions would raise up. Something that is very comforting and underlines the friendliness and big-heartedness of this group. my personal advice to autodidacts and beginners I was quite happy for the first months with just the book and the DVDs. But I am encouraging you to visit one of Ya Mu’s workshops as soon as you have the feeling that there is a resonance with this system. I did not regret a single second, single effort or single Euro / Dollar I have dedicated to make this happen. The experiences at the workshop are second to none compared to the autodidact home training and an early visit prevents you from carving in small mistakes into the daily routine due to wrong perception or misunderstandings. As well the sharing and discussing with the other exceptionally nice practitioners is a very big part of the progress and experience in my personal opinion. But I recommend to practice the moves and as well the opening and closing of the sitting/standing session before the workshop, because you will benefit much more if you are not overwhelmed by too many new things (either way there will be lots of information then). Read the book and watch the DVDs several times, you will learn or notice something new each time. Use the archive of TTB-forum and search for the posts of Ya Mu and the other S-M practitioners, they provide quite often very helpful advices and insights. There is a very interesting interview with Ya Mu linked on his website which contains as well some very interesting and beneficial information, that you won’t find in the books or on TTB. Feel free to ask if there is something unclear. If I can, I am happy to help or clarify. All the best!

Expectations To achieve contentment, your expectations in life must be realistic and reflective of reality. Those who dream of the banquet wake to lamentation and sorrow. Those who dream of lamentation and sorrow wake to join the hunt. The Wisdom of Laotse, Lin Yutang, 11 Tao is the mysterious source of the universe. Teh is the word used to represent the manifestations of Tao. The greatest manifestation of Tao is nature. Therefore you can appreciate the values of the source, Tao, by observing and studying its manifestation, nature. Look around and you will see that in nature everything is a struggle. Animals feed on one another. Germs, viruses and bacteria prey on all of us. Businesses take delight in “killing” their competition. Nature functions through the cycles of Yin and Yang, predator and prey, growth and decay. Life therefore is a struggle. It’s a war. Taoists embrace this reality and cultivate within themselves a warrior spirit. Their attitudes and expectations are therefore correct. When expectations are correct, you will not be disappointed or discontent. Consequently, Taoists do not expect life to be a bed of roses, a “banquet;” instead, they know that life is a difficult war, “lamentation and sorrow,” so they embrace it and “join the hunt.” The greatest sin in Taoism is confusion – not having a clear picture of reality. Taoists seek to keep themselves free of confusion so that their expectations of life’s harshness are correct. Their spirits thrive on this reality.

I am not sure if what I want to do is mind conditioning. I do find it useful to reprogram myself. Living as a Christian for most of my life, living with societal and familial beliefs systems the only way to stop thinking the way I have been programmed as a child is to program myself to think differently. I do not know how be free of mind conditioning. I mean my mind has already been conditioned one way, so if the better course is to become unconditioned, not to condition myself another way, how do I go about this? In any case although I was entertaining the thought of subliminally programming myself, initially all I want to do is ask myself some questions. I want to access that part of myself that is referred to as unconscious, but is really subconscious or subjective. I feel I am hiding things from myself, and I want answers. I have come to a place where I understand that I am not to seek. So whatever I do I have to do it without seeking. I am still learning about this. But seeking or not, I still need to know what I should do or where I should go. I am fairly certain I know these answers but am not able or not allowing myself to hear them or access them. I know I have to use the seeker here as I am looking for these answers. But I need direction. I also want to know why I am, all of a sudden, having trouble recalling my dreams. Why I can't seem to lucid dream. Why I am having so much trouble astral projecting. What is my dream, purpose, fate, True Life or whatever else you call that? Maybe monks would gladly trade places with me, as perhaps being directionless is some sort of ideal state. But I do not like it. I have to clearly know and understand what my best course of action may be. I want to root out whatever I have hidden from myself and come to terms. Bring it all out, feel whatever needs feeling, experience whatever needs experiencing, begin the process of freeing myself from anything that would cause resistance in me, or become a barrier to me, or whatever. You say I should not condition my mind. OK. I am not sure, at this moment, my thoughts on that. But I am not looking to condition my mind. I can table that for now. I simply want to hypnotize myself, ask myself some questions, answer them, if possible while in a trance state without the interference of the conscious mind and ego, wake myself up, and listen, learning what I need to learn.

Hello under, obviously Youve recieved tons of great advice..besides all of the spiritual/grounding stuff, a lot of your symptomology resembles mine to a T. There are a few things I can almost guarantee can help. It sounds like somewhere/somehow, your adrenals and or thyroid have become pretty unbalanced. Someone else said from a TCM perspective your kidneys are weak. this is pretty much adrenals. Adrenal problems can cause you to feel numb, dissasociated, fogged, almost like a zombie. this has a knock on effect on the rest of your hormones. May I suggest this product: http://www.enzymatictherapy.com/Products/Energy/Daily-Energy/04085-ADRENergize.aspx You will know very very quickly after taking a dose of this if the adrenals are at least a big part of your issue. It will quickly brighten things up and youll feel a zest that I am assuming is missing at the moment. You probably wont even need the 3 capsule a day dosage, in fact 1-2 often is enough especially since you are young. Also would not hurt to get your hormones checked out..large doses of vitamin c, magnesium, and assorted B vitamins will work synergistically with the supplement Ive recommended. This gives you something concrete to try along with trying to get grounded, qigong etc. If somethings malfunctioning with your adrenals/thyroid, it doesnt matter how much spiritual activity you do its not gonna get you over the hump. I think you need something quickly to help to let you feel like your self and see theres a light at end of tunnel. Ive been there man, brain fog and fatigue so thick I literally couldnt remember what I did 5 seconds ago, accompanied by a feeling of total numbness and dissacotiation, like everythings a dream. This is adrenal/thyroid related Id almost guarantee it. The supplement is very safe and its worth a shot. Let me know if you try it and how you get on. good luck..