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If its a dream, its a damn persistant one. I keep waking up to it and I spend quite a bit of time in it. Still treating the world as a dream as a metaphor and practice is useful in the don't sweat the small stuff philosophy. But Time is real. I began this earlier, I'll finish a bit later. It'll take time to do it. No matter what my philosophy or cultivation. Time is the great river we live in. As long as we have physical bodies we are in it. We can cultivate mental attitudes where time doesn't affect our minds, ie meditational states where time flies but in reality time is passing, our bodies aging, events separated and moving down stream. We can have a healthier relationship with the element of time, not be rushed, see things through long perspectives, but time is a force more powerful then gravity. It Is. Possibe that outside the body we have a little more play room.

An thus, the first Lojong proverb says, treat everything you perceive as a dream. This is a preparation for bodhicitta. Once one realizes that everything perceived (everything imagined from the 6 senses) is a dream,...and that dreams do not exist (that is, exist = to stand alone), then that which is conscious beyond the 6 senses, reveals itself.

Oh yea I forgot to mention. I also had dreams with some catholic preist. The preist wanted me to become a catholic preist as well. This preist seemed to have spiritual powers as well. I felt him push his energy on me in a playful way in the dream. I found myself in a cathedral with this preist I have never seen in my life. I also think this preist had a minion because he had a little helper with him who was wearing the same clothes the clergy men wear. Pretty trippy. But I am no longer a catholic. So becoming a preist was out of the question.

Not to sure where to start this rant. But I would like to share what I have expierenced in the last year or two, to hopefully help others learn from my expierences and hopefully gain some light from all my trials and mishaps. Since I do not study under a master. I began studying magick after witnessing a relative of mine (brother) got involved in some dark arts, due to his poor health and not knowing what else to do, it seems he caved into the 'dark side'. This was after the fact that I had learned he was doing such things in my home and was already kicked out. All I remember before I had learned about his doings, was I remember coming home one and feeling very depressed and negative. I was crying for no reason and was not aware of what was going on in the other room. My brother had complained of hearing pounding on the walls at night, while no one else in the house heard anything. Eventually my mother had found some candles and some sorcery/witchcraft stuff hidden in my brothers closet with her name on it and decided to kick my brother out of the stuff. Apparently he wanted to harm my mother because he felt she was the cause to all of his issues and problems in life. Not very logical or sound thinking. Needless to say I was already studying esoteric teachings such as eckhart tolle and reading into hermeticism and what have you. I ended up finding some people online who were also studying magick but I ended up with more questions than answers. I did not care for the dark stuff, since I grew up in the catholic church as a youngster and had seen some exorcisms of people who practiced voodoo and such. Needless to say, I was scared straight. But after my brother left I did feel very disempowered for some reason. Apparently my brother had been paying a mage of some kind to help him get what he wanted in life. Which was to disempower his own mother and since I decided to agree with my own mother, myself as well. Typically bs these days. Where my personal journey really starts was after I had got in touch with these people who were studying magick. I remember one night in a dream I had seen a black figure with static energy surrounding my field of consciousness. Sort of freaked me out. I was also heavily addicted to porn at the time as well. I was feeling hapless since my father decided to leave with my brother. Luckily whatever that was went away. A week after or so I remember having this burning chi sensation near my balls. I felt as if my balls were going to go into my stomach and it f*cking hurt. It burned like no other. I thought I was going to die. Luckily this went away as well but I was at the mercy and knowledge of the group I was studying with. There was some people in the group who were good and some who my intuition told me to stay away from but I failed to listen since I wanted to understand WTF my brother was doing. My dreams began to get even weirder. I remember waking up to a black cloud over my body. Luckily that went away as well. I remember hearing other people, who I felt I couldn't trust asking me what it was I desired. But I would wake up before anything could happen. I had plenty of good and bad dreams. My most memorable one was when I woke up one morning and saw the image of an angel in my mind's eye. It was curled up in the fetus position and it began to stand up and a ball of light began to shine with it as it expanded its wings. I remember hearing a womens voice saying it was time for my awakening. No idea who she is. I began meditating regularly in the shower and now have this dim violet ring of energy around my minds eye when I meditate. I now have plenty of visions and dreams. I had to stop all drug use sicne the last time I smoked marijuanna I felt my self come back into my body as a jolt of electricity on my right side of my brain. It was trippy and scared me straight. No idea what I did or where I went as well. I've had plenty of other OOB dealing with the magick of my 'family'. One night I was attacked by a witch astrally. No idea why. But I remember seeing the image of a witch in my minds eye. It was sort of like an avatar at first in my minds eye of a dark green skinned witch with black clothing. I was then looking at a chunky woman who had these galaxies in her eyes, I felt mezmorzied, who then 'pushed' energy onto me as she seemed irratated with me. No idea why. It felt cold and disillusioned. I then witnessed a tribal group burn a dog and direct the energy at me. I believe this was animal sending. All I remember hearing from a higher being was, "just love". It was all I could say that night. I remember waking up from work and trying to meditate this thick grey energy off of me and my aura. I was shaking violently. I had heard a voice within ask me if I needed deliverance and I replied with yes. I then felt fine and went to work that day without any further problems. I began to have plenty of dreams and encounters. I kept in touch with one person from the group I use to talk to. I began to not eat and became very sensitive to energy, and had failed to ground myself. Needless to say I felt as if I was stuck in the astral realm. Sort of still do feel that way. I traveled to other worlds and planes that I dont really remember. Higher realms it seems. But they were really cool. I was having dreams with other people and even recieved some help in exorcising my own home at one point from some people I have never met in my life. I had traveled into my brothers room and had noticed a homeless person's soul was laying on the bed with a news paper over its face. Which is why I think my brother was involved in sorcery. I told that person to leave in the dream. I had also witnessed reptile like spirits in my home, one of them being very malevolent, I sought to kill these beings but I woke up. I ended up going to the hospital due to not eating and having a low blood count, aka psychosis. I am better now. But during my visit at the hospital I kept going OOB and had some interesting dreams there as well. Some people in the hopsital had dark pitch black eyes. I was going a bit crazy and wanted to assisinate the pope. I felt i was working for the government and could use telepathy to activate a rogue to kill the pope. (dont ask). I was pissed at the pope for ordaining the 'saint of death' as a real saint. I felt it was sorcery and witchcraft. While in the hospital I had a dream with two Goddesses who helped me settle down and simply acknowledged my anger for dogmatic religions. One had these really majestic eyes and the other was literally levitating when I saw them in my dream scape. I also had dreams of flying around in light space ships. It was freaking awesome. They were orb like ships. After being in the hospital for two weeks. I then came home and had several dreams as well. I had one dream about the saint of death and I witnessed a table full of candles and a woman like witch who was watching over these candles. I saw plenty of statues as well. But luckily after praying she left me alone. I had another dream where I witnessed a sorcer's frustation with me since I did not care to cooperate but to only observe his ways. And then my last and final dream in which everything seemed to clear up was with the Goddess Kwanyin, or atleast it looked like her, even though I had never prayed to her in my life. I had felt asleep in my mothers bed. I remember falling into a meditative state and went OOB with her. I noticed a man sleeping on the couch where I was sleeping beforehand who had blonde hair. I remember going into my brothers old room and feeling the energy there being a bit heavy but nothing was there. I then remember hearing a woman's voice with a deep OMMM mantra plugging away at my heart. I heard Kwanyin say I wasn't suppose to be here and I began focusing on the meditation as it was resounding and loud in the dream. It felt great and then I woke up. Now my dreams tend to be normal. I still happen to stumble upon people who tend to be vampiric now and then, but I still feel stuck in the astral. The last cool dream I had was when I traveled to this other star system in a light ship, and it was almost like star wars with other ships there. It was cool. Needless to say. These other realms are real as well as the higher beings. We are all spiritual beings it seems. There are good and bad groups out there. From my own expierences I have found that many are seeking power to understand themselves and fulfill their desires and ego. Some people use magick as a 'technology' while others are looking for ways to 'get back' at others secretly, to empower themselves. It's rather sad though. It creates a endless cycle of suffering and pain. I see why one should possibly study under a master to learn etiquette and self-mastery. One can learn alot more if one practices restraint and compassion towards another than to attack back. I am more focused on my health these days and bringing balance to my body. Since most of my chi has been focused to my head. The astral body still needs energy to operate. Which I am assuming is shen. Oh yea, I also got to witness some immortals. They had really huge heads, but they were nice. After all the traveling and trials I have expierenced, I am a bit more laxed about my journey. I feel things will happen when they are meant to happen and that one should not rush into spiritual pursuits to fulfill one's own sense of self. There is plenty to do here on earth to reduce the suffering of others and one's own sense of self. Escapism is not the answer, lol.

A couple of points I would like to add: Do not interfere with your breathing. This is quite easily done in all meditations that build on (at least) stable visualizations. Problem is that you may not notice that you are disturbing your normal breathing pattern. Have a check now and then. Also, I've talked with Bill Bodri in the past about this meditation: the white skeleton meditation is not a feeling meditation; other traditions, such as the Daoist water meditation, may feel the bones, but in the WSM this is not the main technique. You can use all kinds of tricks in order to get a stable, and lustruous visualization of the skeleton, such as rotating lights, brushing lights, flashing, feeling etc. but in the end, you produce a complete skeleton in dazzling white light. When you increase stability, you will feel sensations and pranas moving and shifting, but do not cling or reject. The method brought you there and you should continuing focusing on the method. Regarding visualization: I started with just one bone, held it in a relaxed fashion. I used all time I could - watching movies, listening to music, subway etc. - for holding the visualization. Of course, formal practice also with sole focus on the meditation. As an aid, sometimes movies of bright lights, and of course, pictures of skeleton bones. At first, you just visualize in the same way as you would recall mentally your girl-/boyfriend, for example. In the beginning it may just be a quite vague shape, or even a shape of space. The longer you cultivate and train, the more the light will increase, the visualization abilities heighten, until you attain a samadhi on an unwavering picture of a skeleton. The more your channels open and your qi builds, the more dazzling you can imagine the bones. In the end it approaches the experience of an increadibly vivid lucid dream. It takes time, so patience. I was not a master at visualization either. And also, don't tense the eyes. Some people asked about why you start with the feet. Some excellent answers were given. I could add that Mark Griffin (hardlight) also mentions the importance of clearing the legs. It's only until that happens that you unleash the full power of the kundalini forces. Before that, you just have a trinkle flowing. There are tons of reasons, some doing with the complete opening (extremely, extremely hard to accomplish) of chakras in the chest requiring specific channels through the legs to have opened, there are karmic benefits and several others. I hope this may be of some help. Good luck to all you practitioners. Mandrake (edit: typo)

Over the years I've done far too much reading and procrastinating. At 28 and after more than 10 years of theoretical study of metaphysics and mysticism I am steadily reaching breaking point, where I have to start a serious practice. I cannot tolerate all the planning and hypothesizing any more, and I really believe that an ounce of practice would be worth far more. A big obstacle for me is that I care about how my life-choices will influence my family, and they cannot support my choices because of their associations. I know that an earnest, deep practice that sacrifices a conventional lifestyle and income will reward with a calibre of benefits that simply cannot be matched by a worldly life. From the few experiences I have had I thrill to think that it was just the beginning. During extraordinarily deep practice, for me, my dream life becomes so profound. It cannot be explained in a linear way, but the feelings that accompany those states give me such a deep satisfaction. And I know that my living conditions are far from optimal for spiritual growth. I am removed from nature. I can only imagine how much it would benefit me to balance myself in the heart of nature, and to change my diet in accordance with best practices. I have realized in the past couple of days that my first aim should be to break my body into an almost austere practice where I can tolerate sitting unmoving in meditation for at least an hour. In the fashion that Wang Liping was broken into a 4 hour full-lotus session by his masters in Opening the Dragon gate. Many might not agree, and this might not be the best approach for everyone. I have simply arrived at this point where I know my weaknesses and how they might be resolved. For many it might be no problem to sit unmoving for 1 hour, yet it is something I have yet to master. I believe that something very beneficial takes place if one breaks through barriers of discomfort like that. I am reminded of how Chunyi Lin sat for something like 8 hours during a seminar given by a Qi Gong master in a park, and how his body went through extremes and was significantly healed of severe physical injury. I myself am struggling with a sports injury in my back, and after about 20 minutes my back flares up. However, I have found that struggling through 40 minutes numbs the whole body and my mind approaches an altered state. I fully believe that by practicing Nei Gong that my body will fully heal itself, but at the moment I am just a beginner. Now I am avoiding cold food and drinks, and I can really feel energetic movements in my belly since then. I am also abstaining from draining Jing. I am not sure that I am feeling the lower dan tien, per se, but there is a change occurring in my body. Now that I am paying attention to energy in my body, I can feel that I am getting periodic flashes of heat circulating around my body and skin. A big problem I have had during meditation at night and early morning is what I think is too much Yang energy, almost like acid reflux, even when I know it isn't likely to be acid reflux. It is like an imbalance and keeping the body and mind still seems to aggravate the condition so much so that it feels like heat is building up in my torso and neck. Another problem in the evening is that I get so sleepy during practice that I just cannot stand it any longer and I have to go lie down. A problem with meditating while waking up is that it is like my mind is in a numbed state that does not promote a successful meditation experience. But I think that if I change my goals from having a good meditation to breaking my body into submission then I will make better progress. I know at least that until now the former goal made me prone to give up prematurely due to aforementioned difficulties. I am reading Daoist Nei Gong by Damo Mitchell at the moment, and I really like it because it divulges the expected progression and explanation of underlying mechanisms. I do like knowing what to look out for and what to expect during practice. I hope to at least feel my lower dan tien clearly, as a next step of progression. When I raise energy by leg bouncing into the root chakra I can really feel the area heat up, so I have felt that before, but I really am an amateur. I would not normally write like this, lest I reduce motivative pressure, but I think that some of the readers might have advice for me.

I wonder if any of you received interesting dreams or visions after reading the works by Master Nan??? I just ordered his Diamond Sutra because this morning, I had a dream. I dream that an Indian woman handed me a copy of the Diamond Sutra while I was desperately searching for the right clothes to wear. What is even strange was that in this dream I felt a sense of deja vu. A deja vu within a dream. I felt that someone has given me copy of the Diamond Sutra to read before. Once I realized I have a copy of the Diamond Sutra, I stopped searching for the right clothes to wear and to move on. Then, this Indian woman said "let's go." Now, she looked very familiar but yet I don't know her. Oh well, my copy should be here on Tuesday from Amazon.

I dream in the void I live with integrity I accept what is

with lucidity I engage my daily life. I dream in the void.

haha. Sitting in full lotus is not a prescription for someone to do to solve a problem but rather it is an ontological truth. The truth is the yin yang resonance into the Emptiness. So yeah there's other techniques that rely on the yin-yang dynamics into the Emptiness but for those out there claiming to preach the truth -- then they need to demonstrate the direct approach to the yin-yang dynamics to the Emptiness. So there's no point in trying to convince anyone of anything -- be it the middle class or the elite, etc. Zero population growth will happen - no matter what. We can say -- ah but if we consciously try to plan things right then we can lessen the suffering, blah blah. Each individual will do what it wants so what we can do is give them information - share information - but realize that they will reject it -- get mad -- and do probably the opposite of the information. So that reaction has to be taken into account. Basically my goal in life is to stay out of prison and not get butt raped. I know -- I dream big. haha. So on a practical level that means I'm going to have to build up my muscles, get in better shape, learn fighting, etc. But you see that is only the very practical level - it's not the foundation of reality! So that goal is not at the top of my list. The foundation of reality is the Emptiness - so that should be the top of the list. Deep dreamless sleep therefore is my top priority. haha. If I can be consciously aware of my deep dreamless sleep then all the better! People define reality in terms of people and that's the problem -- so John Michael Greer is still trying to "save the planet." Umm - even George Carlin got it better -- and I know you say - no JMG understands how humans need to save themselves and the planet can take care of itself. But this whole "transition to an oil-free world" -- or whatever -- I mean Sweden plans to be oil free by 2020 -- so there you go -- JMG writ large. But face it - 2 billion people already live in an apocalyptic culture that is the outcome of the supposed middle class that gets to decide how best to deal with running out of oil. So no matter how radical JMG thinks he is - it's still a bourgeois humanistic mentality that is Western and dependent on genocidal imperialism. As the middle class disappears -- already everyone is dependent on going to McDonalds because it's the "cheapest" way to get the most calories -- but of course it's not cheap - it's just adjusting the cost to high taxes and the tax money is then given to big Ag which as private corporations then take the tax money to destroy the planet and sell crap food at "cheap" prices. haha. Yeah it's a big scam -- but the whole civilized Mall culture -- drive thrus, etc. -- flying on airplanes. Like my sister actually badgered me when I dropped her at the airport - she wanted to know why I wasn't flying. I said - you know that TSA is really invasive and its against civil liberties - and she says - but that's not going to stop me from flying! As if flying is someone's personal right -- but for me I would want to fly the least possible because of the environmental cost. haha. Humans are not some special animal that can rationally control their future - rational planning is a total joke. The truth of reality is rape and pillage - and "civilization" is a smoke screen. So this whole - "intelligent" planning to a post-oil future - it's a joke because ecology by definition is beyond rational planning. A person needs to take DMT and just merge into Nature and just let go and then they can come back and go - wow I'm just glad to be alive just in the here and now -- because the here and now is really all that exists. I appreciate JMG saying how alternative energy can not replace oil -- that is important to point out. But the idea that there is some rational solution is a joke. Sure there can be some crazy survivalist tribal solution -- like the Berber culture I visited that has existed like that for thousands of years. I know the whole primativist technology thing is cool. For me - I dumpster dived - not as just some individual solution thing but I did it to make it less painful for people to do in the future. I mean - my goal was to make it more socially acceptable because I knew that more and more people would have to rely on dumpster diving. I did dumpster diving to make it a new norm for society. Sure enough that's what happened - I biked out of the city and the crisis got worse and homelessness got worse. My coworker got fired and I saw him on the street and he said he had founded "Homeless Against Homelessness" and they got a new law passed to provide free bus passes to the homeless - available through shelters. So he got fired from some bourgeois middle class "activist" nonprofit which was really dependent on Wall St. Rockefeller environmental.

Well to respond: 1. Sitting in full-lotus (which not everyone can do - I can't even do half-lotus but that doesn't stop me from meditating anyway and I've still managed to see some good results!) - pardon for the digress. Anyway...sitting in full-lotus is part of that whole 'self-refinement' vs self-gratification thing I mentioned earlier. Very few people do it. And most don't see why they'd need to or want to anyway. It's asking the typical Secularist-Spiritual-but-not-Religious-Science-luving citizen to take on faith that there IS such a thing as self-refinement and thus higher states of being a human than what they already know and experience in their everyday lives. In short - to them it sounds suspiciously like propaganda to pacify the growing anger the average middle class technical/creative class strata feels justified in feeling. They don't yet see how their living style and high-paying job is a crucial part of the leviathan that greases the whole system...lose this class and the elites will finally have to reveal their hand...aka brute force "peace keeping"..aka overturning posse comitatas...aka regular media-talking heads denouncing the increasing radicalization and polarization going on in society by [insert bogeyman-of-the-month here]. 2. It's not required to see things less Western in order to see "Reality Isn't What it Used to Be". I'd say that's actually a diversion although possibly interesting if it gives new ideas and options. All that's required is for people to realize they're finally going to have to give up a lot of things they STILL (even now) see as sacred cows in their very own lives. Everybody is trying to get some other guy/gal to be the one to take the hit and point the finger at instead of realizing they already have power to re-write the rules of the game without 'pre-authorization' from any elites. They always ever did. That's why new methods of social interaction begin whenever calamity hits. People finally wake up from the dream and realize that since the old order is gone even in the midst of suffering there are new ways to begin solving problems in their lives directly.

Sounds like the boy in the John chang vid is coming out subconsciously in your dream. Now sure about the car door. haha. Yeah the training in the Wang Liping book is very much like Chunyi Lin -- even the yin yang water. Also Chunyi Lin said he levitated up 9 feet -- spiraling in full lotus - when he was in deep meditation in the mountains in china. Also the Theravadin meditation master of Thailand - Phra Achran Mun -- his biography is free online -- so his meditation friend also is levitating -- in that book. Anyway in India there is a fake levitation trick on youtube so it's possible your relative so that - they sit in a platform suspended on a rod - hidden under their robe, etc. But who knows -- ? I mean real levitation is very very rare but the skeptics assume it's fake just because there are fakers out there. haha. There's a show of a dude going to Tibet to see a famous levitating monk but he's a fake also.

Interviews with a Tantric Kali Priest: Feeding Skulls in the Town of Sacrifice by June McDaniel Skulls are widely used in Bengali folk Tantra. They empower buildings and grounds, like the relics in early and medieval churches. They are buried in tem- ples, under the altar or in a corner, and they turn the building into sacred ground. They are also buried at the foot of sacred trees, and they make ordinary ground into an empowered meditation seat. Although skulls and images of death are normally inauspicious in Hinduism, certain skulls bring luck and fortune in meditation. Skulls give protective energy (sakri) and support the sadhu in his efforts. They are often painted red, to show that they are alive and auspicious, and to protect them from mold and the Bengali weather. They are ironic images, which represent death yet encourage the spiritual rebirth of the holy man or sadhu. Skulls are not old bones, but relics that mediate the supernatural (alaukika) world, calling down the goddess Kali to help the practitioner. Skulls are really not dead but alive, companions and friends of the sadhus. They are inhabited by earth-bound entities who seek spiritual knowledge rather than pleasure, but were never educated in this field during their lives. Skulls give their power, and this is the sadhu's offering: he may become guru to the dead. He can teach them the way to the heavens, and initiate them with empowered mantras, the keys to the kingdom. Spirits are said to cluster around meditating sadhus, but the sadhu will only give mantras to those spirits who bring their skulls to him. They travel through the midnight air, carrying their skulls to offer, and the ones he accepts belong to the spirits who will be initiated. The sadhu takes the power from the skulls. This strengthens him in his own quest for infinite wisdom (brahmajnana), for one needs power (sakti) to hold brahmajnana. Without enough power, the Tantric sadhu could go insane, or he may have only glimpses of his goal but be unable to maintain the state. Sadhana (spiritual practice) with skulls is rarely seen today, but it is associated with certain locales, especially those with a background of death and sacrifice. The town of Bolpur in Birbhum (West Bengal) was named for the large number of sacrifices performed by one of its kings. According to the legend, centuries ago the great king Raja Surat had a vision of the goddess Kali. She asked him to sacrifice one hundred thousand goats to her (some versions say it was buffaloes), and if he did this, his dreams would be fulfilled. He did indeed sacrifice these goats, and gave the town its name (bali-pur, "town of sacrifice"). Since that time, there has been temple worship of Kali in the town. There are several Kali temples in Bolpur, and one of them is on the edge of town, near the woods, with a large cremation ground nearby. This is the Kali Temple of the Dry Lake, a temple is dedicated to Daksina Kali, who is a benevolent form of the goddess worshiped by householders. She is also called Bhairavi Vais- navi, showing that she is a Tantric goddess with such Vaisnava qualities as com- passion and the ability to bestow happiness. Within the temple, there is a large statue of Daksina Kali, with black skin and a smiling face, with her two assistants, Dakini and Yogini, flanking her. There are also statues of the Sakta Siddhas (per- fected beings) Vamaksepa, Ramakrsna Paramahamsa, and his wife Sarada Ma. Behind the statues on the altar is a row of human skulls, painted red. Daksina Kali is merciful to her devotees. Renouncers and sadhus worship more powerful forms of Kali, called Smasana Kali (Goddess of the Burning Ground) and Varna Kali (Kali of the Left Side, or Kali of the Forbidden). They offer her meat and wine, flesh and blood, placed in a skull. At this temple, offerings of meat and wine are made to Kali's assistants, Dakini and Yogini, but these are only offered outside the temple. The priest or purohit of this temple is Tapan Goswami, whose Vaisnava name reflects honors shown to his ancestors. He is a practicing Sakta, who worships Kali and meditates upon her. His practice, however, includes many older ele- ments. Tapan was born in small village about twenty kilometers from Bolpur, where his grandfather was a respected temple priest and Tantric sadhu. He came from a Sakta family. My family's goddess in the village was Uluicandi. She came from the earth, in the form of a stone. She was found a thousand years ago. When there was no rain in the village, my ancestors would bathe the stone in the pond, and rain would come. They worshiped her under a neem tree, and she had a small shrine there. She was originally a house goddess, but then her worship was opened to the village. Later my ancestors had a statue (murti) made, and it was immersed each year, and a new statue made. They worshiped her every day except for the [festival] time of Kali Puja, when a pitcher (ghat) was worshiped instead. However, village life is primarily agricultural, and during his childhood a drought came and brought famine. All of the crops failed. The family then moved to Bolpur, which at that time was surrounded by forests. In those days, the temple was not easily accessible to visitors. As Tapan states: I came to Bolpur when I was six years old, and my father began to work as the priest of this temple. At the age of about ten or eleven years, I began to visit the temple at night, secretly. I was kept from going there in the daytime. But I could get the keys to the temple, and I went there at night, even though often I was afraid. 1 felt that the Goddess looked with favor upon me. Here, we believe that on the new-moon night, people should offer incense and candles to the Goddess. When I opened the temple door one new moon night, I found that many types of offerings (prasad) were there. I ate them, because I was hungry, but then I was afraid that people would be angry at me, and I thought of not returning. But I had such a great longing to return, that I could not stay away, and after a few days I came back again. He spent his childhood attracted to the Goddess but fearful of her power. One night, when there were visitors to the temple, he saw a cake suddenly materialize, rise in the air, and fly toward him. He took this as a sign of the Goddess's power and her gift to him, and he became more and more curious about her. As he grew older, he began to visit many renunciant sadhus and sannyasis, especially those performing Tantra sadhana. He asked them many questions about ritual practice, and about the nature of Kali. When he was twenty-one years old, he met a sadhu who taught him about Tantra sadhana; however, he was not initiated. He wandered to different places in West Bengal; he studied for a while at the Ramakrishna Ashram in Suri, then spent time in a village, then attended Vishvabharati University in Shantiniketan. During his years at Vishvabharati, he spent his spare time doing ritual practices to the Goddess. After he graduated, he worked in Dubrajpur, but the job did not interest him, and he spent his spare time with the sadhus meditating on a sacred hill nearby. He left and returned to his own village; his father taught him techniques of ritual temple worship, and he learned to awaken the Goddess in the statue with rice and durva grass, and to line her eyes with black eyeliner (kajal). His father told him to work at the Kali temple in Bolpur. His relationship with the Goddess was not an easy one. He was angry at Kali because she allowed many difficulties and uncertainties in his life, and would not solve his financial and family problems. However, in the end they made peace, and the Goddess was willing to help him. He said: "When I used to do the evening ritual, I would feel a cold wind blowing behind me, and it would extinguish the candles. I would shiver and my hair would stand on end. I would hear the wind, and know that there was power (sakti) in it. I felt it was the Goddess's presence." She would visit him many times, even though he argued with her. When he came into the temple one night with his left arm broken (due to family fighting), the Goddess was there. Though they disagreed, his arm was miraculously healed, and it no longer looked twisted. His major religious teacher was his grandfather, Ratneshvara Goswami, who helped him during his childhood. He is still in awe of his grandfather's power, and told a story about him: An interesting incident happened many years ago. When my father was just a child, he was very ill, and he was finally declared dead by the doctor. My grandfather took him into the forest. There were hundreds of jackals and vultures surrounding him, but no animal came near or tried to attack him. My grandfather went into a meditative trance, and was full of devotion for the Goddess. After three or four days, my father began to move, and he regained his life and his strength. The Goddess saves people in her many forms - Durga, Kali, Tara - but it is my belief that my father was saved by the intervention of Kali. Tapan said that his grandfather was a powerful tantrika, who could cure people from deadly diseases and snakebite. The grandfather had practiced Tantric rituals alone in the mountains, and had practiced the pancamakara rituals (the five Tan- tric "sacraments," all of which are words beginning with the letter M) with a temporary wife. He had a guru who guided him, and he had great devotion to the Goddess, which has continued in the family. After his grandfather's death, Tapan continued to communicate with him. The spirit of his grandfather would come to visit Tapan in his dreams and visions, instructing him in ritual and relationships with the spirits. He says that his grand- father's spirit has chosen to dwell in his favorite meditation place, his ritual seat, which is placed over five buried skulls at the foot of a large tree in the woods near the temple. His grandfather created this "five-skull seat" (pancamundi asana) and spent much time there during his life. When Tapan wishes to communicate with his grandfather's spirit, he sits on this ritual seat and meditates there. Tapan has been possessed by his grandfather. In Indian tradition, the guru is like a god, and being possessed by a god is a desirable situation. Tapan knows when he is coming: He comes to me like the wind, and I can hear the sound of his wooden shoes. Once, I was sitting here before the Goddess, and I heard the shoes and felt the wind at my back. It put out the candle. It was my grandfather's spirit, and he entered my body and I felt great joy (ananda). I found myself chanting many mantras. I stayed con- scious, and could see everything, but he was there too. He had told me that he would come that evening. The mantras made me feel full of power, and his presence was a powerful thing entering me. Once some people came and had cigarettes with some drug in them, and I felt myself becoming unconscious. I called on my grandfather for help, and he came to me and possessed me. Visitors have been a problem: "Many people have come here and tried to meet my grandfather in his subtle body. He was annoyed when some tantrikas wanted spiritual powers (siddhis), and built their own pancamundi asana. There should never be more than one at a sacred site (pitha) at a time. I speak with him often, but he would not speak with those people." Although Tapan was close to his grandfather, he was not as close to his own father, who only taught him formal ritual worship (puja). He had to learn spiritual practice on his own, by studying with the various sadhus he could find, and was never officially initiated. He learned on the road, and in his travels. He performed Tantra sadhana in the mountains, as his grandfather had done, but after he mar- ried and became a temple priest he limited his practice to more traditional wor- ship, which he called Vedic sadhana. He felt that safeguarding his grandfather's property allowed him to fulfill his grandfather's "unspoken dreams," so he left his Tantric practices in the mountains. I began to meditate seriously, perfecting my knowledge and ritual practice. As I did this, I saw that I began to gain new power (sakti). I realized the power of sadhana, and that if any person could do it properly, he could gain perfection (siddhi). But it is difficult in daily life to balance family and spiritual practice. Families do not tend to encourage and inspire sadhana, and neighbors don't understand it; they look down on people who perform puja. This discourages practice. They are only interested in the Goddess when they are sick or in need: then they will worship. Otherwise, they stay aloof. They only want immediate gains and blessings. I think that true sadhana can only be done in isolation, away in the mountains. However, he did retain one one Tantric-style ritual, the feeding of skulls, as taught to him by his grandfather. Behind the Kali statue in his temple is a long line of bright red skulls, who are given offerings. He describes the ritual as follows: The Goddess is normally invisible before us, but through sadhana, we can see her. One ritual that I perform here is the feeding of skulls (mundake khdoya nao). Generally, skulls like puffed rice, though some like fried lentils, curries, or wine. After perform- ing a sacrifice (bali), I feed them with raw meat [in this case, "feeding" means offering a plate of food before each skull]. The feeding is accompanied by a ritual fire (homa) and sacrifice (yajna). After the feeding, I bathe them in ghee, yogurt, milk, and honey, and then I arrange them for worship. Sometimes I do this when I need more mental balance or physical strength. Skulls are useful, because the person's soul often stays with the skull. The soul can predict the future, and help the sadhu. People used to do the corpse ritual (sava- sadhana) and sit on the dead body of a virgin girl. She would then become Kali, and the body would come back to life and talk. My grandfather did sava-sadhana, but people today are afraid of it - if you make one mistake, you die or go insane. This sadhu in orange that you see roaming around here in the burning ground did sava- sadhana wrongly, and he was made insane by it. But he will return to sanity one of these days. I feed the skulls on the altar, and they help me. I learned the skull-feeding ritual from my grandfather. When the skulls are fed, they are pacified and they become protectors. Then they are strong enough to fight of f the evil souls (atmas) who wish to distract or harm the sadhu. When negative spirits (bhutas and pretas) try to disturb the sadhu's meditation, then the good souls fight the bad souls and keep the sadhu on the right path. Sadhus often have helpers. Sometimes sava-sadhana is performed with a woman, who is called the uttara sadhika. She has great skill (adhikari) and helps the male through meditation if he is distracted by evil spirits. When the sadhu draws a circle around himself to protect him from these spirits, she is within the circle. Sometimes the sadhu may invite his guru in subtle form to watch over him and help him. Today, it is widely believed that there are no ghosts, but really there are souls who do not die. They are always around us. Sometimes they may enter into our physical bodies, and cause problems or even tragedies. It is only by sadhana, by dedication to the Goddess, that we gain control over them. Then they can work for our benefit. We become immune to fear, hate, and intense desire with their help. I show them loyalty, and they guard me. The skulls in this temple mostly come from people who died in epidemics, es- pecially cholera epidemics. Large numbers of people used to die, and there was no effective system of cremation at that time. Corpses would lie on the roadside or in the forests. Under the altar (vedi) of this temple there are 108 skulls buried. Some altars have 1,008 skulls. Skulls awaken the Goddess, and make her present here. Male gods have stones (Silas) or lihgas [of Siva], but goddesses have skulls. Some skulls are used for pancamundi asana [a ritual in which the practitioner sits on a seat in the midst of five skulls, generally of different types of animals and persons]. People use the skulls of a low-caste man, a jackal, a tiger, a snake, and a virgin girl (kumdri). They must be young, and die suddenly by violence. Nobody wants the skulls of people who died of disease or old age. Some tantrikas have a special relationship with the Doms [low-caste people who traditionally burn the dead and deal with corpses] who work in hospitals. These Doms notify them of appropriate deaths. Tapan compares the skull-feeding ritual with the corpse ritual (sava-sadhana) because in both cases a dead object becomes a vessel for a living presence through ritual. The souls from the skulls are also like the Tantric consort or uttara sadhika in that they assist in ritual practice. Although the female consort can help the Tantric practitioner overcome the power of instinct by the use of mantra and mudra at the correct times, the souls can help the practitioner battle evil spirits and temptations in his meditative visions. The Goddess is more powerful than the souls, and comes to visit and help more rarely. Tapan calls the Goddess "Ma" (Mother). Ma has given me many favors. I remember once at night, I dreamt of a little girl (whom I believe was Ma) who came to help me. At that time I had little money and was renting a very small room. The girl came to me and took me to a new house for rent in my neighborhood. 1 awoke the next morning, and followed the path that we had taken in the dream-vision. I saw a house that looked exactly like the one I had seen. There did turn out to be a room for rent there, a spacious room that I could afford. So I believe she really did help me. Once she appeared as an old woman, perhaps eighty years old, and she patted my head, which was on her lap. At that time I was under much stress - my sadhana was not smooth, and 1 was disturbed by many bad events, which frightened me. But Ma saved me, and she gave me her blessings. She can also help at death, as can the guru. The Goddess gives blessings during life, and after death she can also help. She does not help directly, for such things are determined by karma. Those who did evil on earth are kept in hell (patala) in the forms of jackals or snakes, and they cannot leave immediately. If they didn't do much evil, they may move about their past family and friends in nonphysical (aprakrta) form. But if the person dying had a true guru, then he could act as a mediator for the person to reach heaven (svarga) or Kailasa [the mountain abode of Siva], and Kali can help to show the way. If one wishes to reach the kingdom of the gods and goddesses, it is necessary to worship them. It is difficult to describe. You see, in this world everything is both difficult and easy. It depends upon how you approach it. If a person has a proper guide, if he is given much instruction and experience, if his guru watches him closely, then nothing is difficult to attain. But the qualities (gunas) inherited from previous lives are also important. Without the proper qualities, one cannot perform sadhana. If a person was educated in this area in his previous life, then he could guide himself automat- ically, and would not need anybody else. Tapan has worshiped Kali in a variety of ways. There are many forms of Tantric sadhana. There are three major styles (bhavas): the sattvika, rajasika and tamasika bhavas. The sattvika bhava is devotion (bhakti), and that is the best path to follow. The tamasika bhava can give one the presence of the Goddess, but it does not last long. It stays for a little while, and then it ceases. It is very brief, and very fickle. Devotion lasts longer. One cannot get really close to the Goddess without devotional love. Only bhakti justifies Tantra. I have practiced both Vedic and Tantric sadhana. But I do not call myself a tan- trika - I don't take liquor, bhang, ganjika [hashish] and that sort of thing. Tantra is a dangerous path - there is much possiblity of insanity and brain damage. The Tantric path to liberation is fast and easy (sahaja), but it always has risks. The Vedic path is longer, but the risks are fewer. I think that the feeding of skulls is the first stage of practice, where one learns to control ghosts and ghouls (bhutas and pretas), and one gains immunity to snakebites, and dedication to the Goddess. Then the Goddess comes to protect her devotee, and vision comes, as well as telepathy and the ability to know the future. He does not call himself a tantrika because tantrikas have a bad reputation in West Bengal. They are popularly portrayed as madmen, perverts, cannibals, drug addicts, and alcoholics. However, his practice does have a heavy Tantric flavor, which he renames as Vedic and devotional. He justifies this by saying that his ultimate goal is devotional, so his practice can be called devotional. Tantra is only a stage of worship. Tapan has dedicated himself to his life as a priest and Sakta devotee: I inherited this temple and burning ground, and now they are my property. I have given my village land and shares in the lakes to my brothers. I want to fulfill the wishes of both my father and grandfather. I have been here since 1979, for fifteen years. Ma developed the temple, and I have been her mediator. I have also been inspired by a woman renouncer, a sannyasini named Sangadevi, a distant relative of Rabindranath Tagore. I will be forever obliged to her. She was a great help to me. I hope that the temple will grow, and that more people will come to worship the Goddess. However, he finds it a hard life, and does not want his son to follow in his footsteps. He wants him to work in an office in the city. Really, sakti sadhana is becoming obsolete today because nobody teaches it. I do not want my own son to be a Sakta sadhu. I will teach others, but I will not teach him. I want him to work in an office. I had to go through much suffering in this practice, and I want to spare my son. Learning about sakti sadhana is predetermined; if it is his karma, he will learn it somehow. If it is in his blood he will do it, and find a guru of his own. I want him to do worship, but not sadhana. It is a difficult life, and much suffering is involved. I had only my grandfather to help me. His comments about Tantric goddess worship (sakti sadhana) becoming obso- lete are quite accurate, according to my observations. Very few people are willing to admit that they even practice, let alone teach it. As families are becoming more nuclear, the importance of the ancestors and grandparents decreases; as com- munism and Westernization spread through the villages, traditional religious be- liefs die away. What remains are Vedanta, traditionally the province of the higher and more educated castes, and devotional bhakti, which is understandable to the Christians who possess money and can provide jobs. These approaches have not yet been subject to attack. Tapan states, "Now the atmosphere here is against tantra sadhana, and people are afraid, because sometimes people who do ritual practice are beaten by goondas [bullies or criminals, often hired by political groups]. Maybe tantrikas can manage in a deserted forests or cremation grounds, but if anybody knows about the practice, there is trouble." It seems that these attackers harass the sadhus as part of an organized attempt to rid West Bengal of people viewed as social parasites and troublemakers. Prac- titioners from several areas of West Bengal have described the harassment that they have suffered from the Communist "Anti-Superstition Clubs" in the elemen- tary and high schools, and from other groups whose affiliations are not advertised. However, the worship of the Goddess in Tantric style continues sub rosa: "But people believe in Sakti, even with communism. Many Communist leaders go to tantrikas and astrologers to find out what the results of an election will be. I have had Communists come here to this cremation ground, though they tell their followers not to come here, that it is superstition. They tell them this because they are afraid that the illiterate people will get power from the Goddess, and take it away from them. They want to keep the power for themselves." Such a situation makes him wonder about the future of Tantric practice. Tapan states: "I think that worship of Kali will survive, but there will be fewer members. I think that in fifty years there will be no gurus left, and the practices will all turn shal- lower and more superficial." Tapan's own long-term goal is universal and devo- tional: "What I want to do is stay at the beck and call of Ma, lay down before her feet, give her offerings and serve her, and also run my family and know about the outside world. Then my vision of her will be clear instead of fuzzy, and I can perform service to the world." Maintaining the older Tantric traditions in the face of hostility from the forces of communism and Westernization is difficult for tantrikas, and many have gone into hiding. Others have claimed to be devotees, bhaktas, or Vedic scholars, as a way of protecting themselves from attack. Few tantrikas are wandering sadhus today; most have some job and status and perform Tantric sadhana privately. The Nababharata Press has published a number of Tantras in Sanskrit with Bengali translation, so that non-Sanskritists (usually meaning non-brahmans) can practice the rituals. There are also small Tantric circles, in which people study texts, and other small underground groups that practice rituals. For virtually all the tantrikas I interviewed, however, the dimension of Tantra that focuses on the conquest of death and transcendence of this world is more important than the sexual aspects that have been emphasized by many Western writers on Tantra. It may be that such a focus is regional, and that West Bengal is one of the few Tantric regions that has emphasized death and its symbolism as the major path to the Goddess's paradise. With the focus on death rituals, it is appropriate that the Tantric aides to transcendence are ghosts, who become help- ers and protectors on the paths to Kali's heaven. Research for this article comes from fieldwork in West Bengal, from 1993-1994, on a Senior Scholar Fulbright Research Grant. The data in this biography come from visits to the Bolpur Kali temple and to Tapan Goswami's house. The inter- views were conducted in Bengali, as Tapan spoke no English.

After reading the Magus of Java I am know reading Opening the Dragon Gate. Whilst reading this later book I have had two dreams that I met the same man in Indonesia who was trying to heal a small boy with his Chi, nei gong. In both dreams his power is so strong that not to hurt the boy he puts the boy in a car and through the car door he starts his nei gong whilst he is standing outside the car. Both times the car door buckles partially under the chi power and then goes into the boy whom seems indifferent. Then the Indonesian man talks to me in Indonesian but I cant seem to make out what he's trying to say to me when I wake up. He doesnt look like John Chang but I wonder if my dream is implying him or not. Plus who is the small sick boy in the car.....?

Here is my teachers experiance with opening the real micro cosmic orbit through a period of intense Meditation. Its translated from chinese so doesnt really all make sense. i think its a interesting read Zhou Tianhong wonderful landscape DR: XU I practiced small Zhou Tian Gong has 20 more than 10 years, began on Qigong and life sciences have covered. Lei has in recent years by the deepening and development. Uphold for a long time, Shouyiliangduo, a fitness illnesses, Mong God Yiqi, Zhu Yan beauty, but I have never taught to the people. According to your recommendation, I will be here practicing their own small Zhou Tian Gong experience to organize, practice is focused on the various stages of work elephants and effectiveness, problem-solving construction, to help you practice this work. The so-called small Zhou Tian Gong practitioners is in production and aggregation of Zhenqi, Ai-breaking clearance. To achieve along the Du Channel, Renmo operation, illnesses and fitness exercises. In the body's meridians, Du Channel, Ren Mai is the most important, is the most wide vein, the two channels. The one-Governor Du Meridian, commonly known as "sea-clock"; Renmo a total of the overcast, commonly known as "Yam pulse of the sea." Du Meridian longer, and the two ends of back bends, was surrounded Renmo trend, Du Channel and Renmo communication and coordination between the level, to a large extent determined by the body's yin and yang balance and health. Zhou Tianhong power in the small training process, Zhenqi from scratch and from weak to strong and surround Du Channel, Zhou Tianhong Renmo completed a cycle of experience to give birth to Dantian gas, gas-pass, gas will be more than 100 points, Gas-on Dantian, gas charged in the Dantian, return to the six-stage. This completed the six stages of practice, Du Channel, Renmo will be opened, the gas-clock network of gas with Yam sympathetic harmony. When entering a state of quiet, in the upper and lower Dantian between will form a map similar to Tai Chi-yang and Yinqi pay embracing the mission come to Zhenqi, Zhenqi Mission of operation, the body can promote smooth qi and blood, viscera coordination, yin and yang Balance, and emotional Shu, as illnesses and fitness, beauty-God. Zhenqi in the formation and operation of the various stages of the process, because of how many different levels, through different points of the pass, as the power and effectiveness also varies. It should be noted that each stage unique sense of gas, Neijing spectacular mystery, the magic is gratifying effect. Below I put all stages of their work experience and effectiveness as outlined below. (1)-gave birth to Dan Tian. Exercises about 10 days, under the Dantian generate an egg the size of air masses, slightly fever, Youyouhuhu. Exercises about a month, Zhenqi Mission steeled filling the entire microgastropods, gas-to-stop roller surging, intra-abdominal warm Rongrong. At this point is very clear effectiveness, enhancing peristalsis stomach, "guru" Voice of constant potential such as the push of Mines, exhaust frequent, good digestion, appetite increase. (2) gas-hurdles. Exercises about 35 days, beginning customs clearance. Zhenqi Yinxue will enter college through the end of inter-related, then the Gate of Life customs clearance Jiaji, jade pillow clearance. Of course, not all of a sudden these pass through easily, but one by one-opened. Every hurdle and will take about four days or so. Commissioner Chong's very interesting scenario: Zhen Qi Guan Gate of Life in the length of stay longer, gas-like spray shore, wave and then wave, round up shocks, interesting is that each wave is limited to the Commissioner of the Gate of Life Section II lumbar spine, not insurmountable. Zhenqi amount to be increased to a certain extent, gas-clearance before crossing Gate of Life. Commissioner of a strip of Jiaji, Zhenqi have this clearance, the influx of Ni-like valley in the mountains, gathered diffuse, and too slowly. Commissioner of higher-pillow, Zhenqi to the Commissioner under repeated assembly hovering only to be passed. This is not a clearance in the next few days, Zhenqi Mission gathered at the barrier-clearance under the pillow, I feel a lot of strength back and his head will be pulled down. Zhenqi one passed, this natural phenomenon disappear. Zhenqi-three-in the process of effectiveness quite well, mainly as follows: two kidney hot even Fatang, waist disease disappear, the spirit is very full. Legs relaxed, the road like a boat sailing the same drum for quick and effective, this time as well-luck, and in line with Point fingering, stubborn Shenbu generally curable diseases. (3) gas will be hundreds. Exercises about 50 days, will Zhenqi straight points to 100, arrived at the top of Du Meridian, Zhou Tianhong completed a cycle of half a circle. Zhenqi-100 will be the moment, the situation unique, memorable. That day I was practice, Zhenqi Mission is still resistance in the jade pillow customs, practicing with the training and suddenly felt a gas corporation mist into the minds of the Hong Ran, consciously head Shashi expansion as drums, two long ears also changed changed , Earned a good far. While air masses into the minds of the smaller contraction seems to be turned into the cool-Ling "spring" and follow the forehead down slowly, conscious brain. Refreshing anomaly, said earlier the expansion of flu also will disappear. This process, about the ancients said, "Peter unpaid Guanding", or "Chun-yang of the gas" into the brain. Since then, neurasthenia, headache, insomnia Dengzheng died self-healing. Not only can safely go to sleep every night, the dream is very fresh and calm, no miscellaneous dreams, nightmares, are the so-called "righteous rise, Xieqiyuanbi." (4) on gas-Dantian. Zhenqi Baihui down by the open-Du Channel, Renmo between the mouth, teeth, lips formed at the space Q, Zhou Tianhong operation is a key step in the most difficult to break through this interval, we must gather in the Dantian Enough gas, so some slightly longer time. If this does not open up the interval, Du Channel, Renmo not comprehensively, Zhenqi will be a long time circling his head and not down. Sometimes on-homeopathy, very straight on the sky of potential; sometimes arbitrarily read under pressure, quite Taishanyading of Viagra. Many small Zhou Tian Gong practice of people do not know what to do now that a deviation, panic, or even casually Treating treatment. In fact, this is Zhenqi operation of the normal reaction, no need to panic. Because Baihui points in the top Du Channel, the top body, Zhenqi back from the Governor Vessel-even a few customs, all the way to a vibrant top of the top body, and also from here in the direction of doing 180-degree turn, opened up down Governor, the interval, natural to show their extraordinary characteristics. Playing an analogy, is like a torrent of being blocked, while over the high peaks, while also falling into the deep valley of the waves, from top to bottom Fanyong, intended to open-obstruction, Benyong forward. , Understand this truth, would not have to worry about fear. Enron continue to practice, on the Dan Tian Zhen Qi will be more-more, not only filling their minds, that is, within the orbit, nasopharyngeal, ears, all on the palate and teeth were also full of Zhenqi. At this point, ear, nasopharyngeal, the disease can gradually disappear. On the tooth pain, with a gas-and immediately pain. (5) gas charged in the Dantian. 6 O-day practice time, there will be a heavy in the air masses Biduan link between teeth and on, slowly downward, and then fall into the Dantian (Shan in the Point area), since then, Du Channel, between the Renmo Kouchi intervals across the Zhenqi, the head of the pressure on under-flu then disappeared, while under the chin and lower teeth, throat, Shan in Xueneizhenqi filling, I feel Liang Sisi, Ma Su-su, increased secretion of saliva, throat , The stomach disorder gradually disappear. (6) the return of gas (Dantian). Exercises about 70 days, by Dan Tian Zhen Qi slowly and quietly Dayantang gas into the sea, Zhou Tianhong finally completed a small circle. Practice from the beginning to return to the gas, from no to a Zhenqi, from weak to strong, surging, the Pentium off, return, gives the impression that the mighty, calm and peaceful. Like a mountain rivers originate, "River to Tongguan, because there are too engage and touch their benefits by Ben Meng, the wind back to the Three Gorges as a result of Wushan and benefits increased at its Nuhao" is a scene; into the Ping-chuan, return to the sea, since Is a different landscape. Zhou Tianhong small Gong practitioners throughout the process, the spectators see is static and practitioners to appreciate the move is intended Miao Kai King, Jingqi Shen is the recycling and distillation. Zhou Tian Gong is small, raising the basic skills of work. Zhou Tianhong Liancheng small, often as long as practitioners can maintain a little Zhenqi Mission Zhou Tianhong operation. The body is equivalent to maintain an elite Jin Weijun corporations, which have or once Bingxie invasive, the response to that is, from that war, war can win. Can make good health and full of energy. Directional guidance, top-specific features. Zhou Tianhong small qigong, strengthening exercises, a natural power basically what he is saying is that you need to gather true energy "zhen Qi" in the dan tien until the pressure is strong enough to push the energy up the spine. There is no visualization of energy involved with the true MCO. The energy moving up the spine has a real tangible feel to it and should not be forced.People tend to think by visualizing energy going up and down the body they are acheiving the mco.The truth is with out building the energy in the dan tien first you are acheiving only some form of illusionary mco

Why do you ask someone to talk in private as if the information is some secret that is not supposed to be shared on thetaobums! haha. Hilarious. I love it when people say - I have secret knowledge but I can't talk about it. Either they're trying to sell something or they are afraid that their knowledge is not really secret. The whole Mo Pai craze is just a "commodity fetish" based on the fact that John Chang has made himself inaccessible to Westerners who love to throw their money at anything that is real energy transmissions. So you say that "yang chi" is from the chi imparted to semen at the point of orgasm -- but then why is there yang chi and yin chi to begin with? haha. Yang chi you say is associated with the blood while yin chi is associated with the semen. So this information is easily accessible in the book "Taoist Yoga: Alchemy and Immortality" The basic secret is to focus on sublimating the sex energy so it is above the yang chi which is the heart energy as fire. So you have the fire then below the water. Mind yoga meditation tries to lower the fire below the water but the Mo Pai secret and the technique Gary Clyman focuses on -- it's just what the Taoists do - focus on getting the water above the fire instead of focusing on getting the fire below the water through mind yoga. To put it in Western science terms -- as I mentioned before - you said yang chi is imparted to semen at the orgasm - this is true for the internal orgasm which is the parasympathetic relaxation nervous system. The external ejaculation triggers the cortisol spike of the stress sympathetic nervous system. So mind yoga tries to relax the mind the build up the parasympathetic nervous system on its own so that any orgasm after that is internal through the vagus nerve and then as I said the left side vagus nerve goes to the heart. But what the Taoists do, in contrast, is also what the Bushmen did as the original shamanic culture - and that is to push the sympathetic stress nervous system to its extreme - and this causes a parasympthetic rebound effect. That means it goes from the extreme sympathetic to the opposite extreme of the parasympathetic as a deep relaxation. And so that creates the internal explosion of the yang chi from the vagus nerve relaxation meeting with the yin chi of the jing energy. But to build up this energy by "packing" it into the lower tan tien -- this can be done in six months - I did this also - but as Master Nan, Huai-chin says most people "fall back into worldliness" due to "heroic overexuberance" because as the chi energy builds up then there is also spiritual powers like telepathy, telekinesis, healing abilities, seeing ghosts, the ability to go without food and water and astral travel. The problem is that if any of these powers are used then a person falls back into worldliness - - unless they can build up their energy enough to fully open the third eye. To fully open the third eye requires immortal breathing which means as the shen light energy does down then the chi energy goes up -- and in this state which is nirvikalpa samadhi or the Emptiness - then it is basically breathless -- very little use of the lungs - and anyway so this is what the qigong masters do every night for four to five hours to recharge their energy for healing others. So they only sleep four hours a night. So you have to keep storing up your energy to be a real qigong master which means the third eye is fully open and you can see inside people's bodies and you can do long distance healing, etc. This is what Chunyi Lin and Jim Nance do. It is true that they are not storing up their energy overall but Chunyi Lin said his dream is to do a year of fasting in full lotus with no sleep for cave meditation -- he said he knows of immortals in the mountains of China who have the golden aura. So he can recharge his energy if he wants to make his hair grow back, etc. and to undo the damage of the normal loss of jing energy from aging. It's just that instead he uses his energy to heal others because again the more power you have then the less of a normal ego you have which means the more you identify with impersonal Emptiness as consciousness and so you are more willing to sacrifice yourself. So for example Jim Nance asked me to help him write a memoir on his qigong master training but then Chunyi Lin said the spirits would not like it. This is very similar to what happened with John Chang being confronted by his spirit masters not liking him displaying his powers. Or for example Shaolin Master Yau was spitting up blood because he demonstrated too many times his ability to light things on fire with his eyes. Qigong master Yan Xin says the training has to be done in secret in order to build up the energy. So the secrecy is also part of the Emptiness training. It's not that the technique is secret but that there is a competition between left brain dominance which is the modern mundane reality and then right brain dominance which is the world of the shaman. Scientifically the right brain is not able to speak! So secrecy is not just some moral code but is actually a psychophysiological limitation of the deep meditation training. haha. The whole purpose of a forum is to share information so if you think you have some "secret" then just share it -- or else it is silly to post on a forum. Nah Nah -- I know something and I'm not going to tell you! haha. Hilarious.

I'd like to apologize to everyone on this forum for putting out so much negative energy here. I'm just at a loss currently. I could just not say anything and internalize as I've done in years past but it hurts, a lot. I felt like if I typed it, it would be like speaking with someone- to an extent it has been. I no longer have the luxury of speaking with a therapist, given my current fiscal standing. I don't know. It feels like I'm in jail again but I realize I'm not so it feels worse? I feel like and hourglass, except instead of the sand collecting in the lower cavity it just spills out into wind. No one tells younger people how hard life is, even if they know- that isn't fair. I was so happy. When it first hit, I could do so much. My sense were up, I was learning so many things about the world around me- rolling epiphanies. I could tell what people wanted and I could give it to them. I was volunteering multiple times a week and I was writing papers on ways people could help each other/themselves, aswell as remedies to societal ills. So many people seemed to just gravitate towards me. Many asked me for advice and I often had concise 'universal' answers. I worried very little. Then it was gone one day. I'm not sure where the line of demarcation was, but the tide began rolling back out. Slowly, I began to lose everything. My happiness disolved. I still had the 'rolling epiphanies' except they began to grow darker and darker. My social life crumbled. I went into extreme isolation- I was isolated before but I still had friends. My perception began closing into a fist and the things I'd witnessed seemed but a dream. Everything is gone. The animals are still so responsive, it makes me sad that I can't help but to ignore them. I feel so empty, but it's colored with this infinite logical sadness. I lost myself at some point, my passion for life, my passions for things I loved/loved doing. My parents know I've regressed, it's in their inflections/movements- it makes me cry. I'm sorry everyone. I really am. I wish none of this ever happened. I just want to be me again, I don't care how selfish/egotistical that sentiment may resonate with many hear. I was so selfless and giving for what seemed like a long period, now I just want to be myself again. Sorry

It does matter if the experience is drug induced or not. If it is drug induced, it is an one big ego trip. If it is not, you should receive a spirit guide along the path. You would receive spiritual guidance in one form or the others. You have a spiritual issue, and you should receive spiritual guidance from other beings. I have one being appeared before me (in my vision/dream/semi awakened consciousness) during my second life challenge trial. His appearance was so significant that he literally defines who I am now after my kundalini experience. I can describe how he looks, his hair color, his eyes, and even the texture of his hand. The life I had before my kundalini experience has been dead.

Interesting dream . Well oak trees are sacred too , especially in Celtic mythologies . For me everything is alive and communicating in its own way .

Awesome story! I love those wisdom stories that are so true. Also bears in "circumpolar cultures" are sacred - I had a dream of a white bear against this old oak tree in the yard I grew up in. I went back to that place and the tree had recently been cut down! Another dream I had was of rainbows around this other old oak tree in our yard. So I think in the dream visionary shamanic state Nature is very fluid like that -- modern people dismiss these animal talking stories but qigong masters can talk to animals - I know because I got word of this about a qigong master I know. haha. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3zbTub91GY

I just had a small epiphany, because I'm up and awake for longer than usual: Do you remember how it feels to be awake for so long that everything feels not just tiring, but uncomfortable? Where you feel that not only is your mind tired, but your body is in subtle unease? Everything feeling "meh" and "uagh"? That kind of burden that you then feel on your psyche, that's a bit like the unease I felt while ayahuasca did its thing with me. These words will probably not match what I just felt a minute earlier, but it makes perfect sense, because what I need in this state is sleep, and sleep means letting go of conscious being and allowing the dream world to regenerate and refresh me. Considering that DMT brings inner issues to the surface and that sleep deprivation leads to 'hallucinations', maybe the feeling of tired exhaustion I have right now is caused by those inner issues moving just a tiny bit closer to the surface - the burden becoming more tangible. EDIT: And when he says people report the place they visit feels familiar, I remembered that, too. It's like a constant state of d´jà vu. I saw places and things and felt things and were in a state too odd to be described with words, and I knew all that as if I had seen it before. For me it didn't feel like that the whole time, though, just certain parts I think. EDIT2: Eureka! Perfect analogy: A DMT vision is like a kōan!

I actually dream of having sex with Kali...hahaha... I kid you not. Before that, I didn't know who was Kali. It changed my behaviors a bit after finding out what she represents. I am sure she loves me very much. Her appearance would always signal certain death and rebirth situation.

I don't know, that because I received my path from my dream. I had a dream of seeing myself as one of the 3 brothers during the Han dynasty (the clothing gave away). Me or the character did some acrobatic moves similar to the movements of the the microcosmic orbit. I woke up and my kundalini energy began to rise. The rest was history. I live in America. I don't visit any Taoist temples. I am not affiliated with any religious schools. I have no teachers. Yeah, the path to the Tao came to me in my dream. http://thetaobums.com/topic/27489-new-here-tooand-have-many-questions/ I may have shorthanded my life a bit. Growing up in America as a Chinese American immigrant, I have internalized many of the racial and cultural racism histories. I was deeply moved by the injustice of the past maybe because I felt a lot of injustice growing up in Hong Kong. As an immigrant, I have my own cultural issues too. So, in my early childhood I was bombarded with all skandha of forms. You can't give get more skandha of forms in anywhere else but in America. Racial heritage and culture are defined by the color of your skin. You have the whole history to work it. I was slowly exhausting the skandha of forms until I was dealing with my own childhood, around 18 at that time.

Rudyard Kipling If If If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you; If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too; If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies, Or, being hated, don't give way to hating, And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise; If you can dream - and not make dreams your master; If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim; If you can meet with triumph and disaster And treat those two imposters just the same; If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, Or watch the things you gave your life to broken, And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools; If you can make one heap of all your winnings And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, And lose, and start again at your beginnings And never breath a word about your loss; If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew To serve your turn long after they are gone, And so hold on when there is nothing in you Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on"; If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch; If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you; If all men count with you, but none too much; If you can fill the unforgiving minute With sixty seconds' worth of distance run - Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

Hahahah...racist???? Tao does not care. One needs enough merits to be taught of the way of the Tao and enlightenment. To be taught either by a master or enlightenment being transmitted through the mind. There is no points to throw a tantrum on the issue of race because the Tao does not care. If you are Chinese, you do have the advantage of sharing the same cultural experiences with many of the Taoist sages. I would also be weary about the term Western or Christian. Christianity was forced and imposed on Europe. Europeans, depending on which part Europe you are from, do have their own pagan identities. And obviously, I do dream about the Norse Gods and particularly fond of the Nibelungenlied.