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Hahahaa. The God's are real. Just last week I met the Lord of Hosts. It concerned a ritual in a dream in a old catholic cathedral. I almost crapped myself when I woke up that morning. A lot of respect for that Higher Being and I haven't been to a Catholic church in years. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Voice_of_God

Ah, what the hell - I figured I'll just dump the rest of my favorites here:\ “We are afraid of the known and afraid of the unknown. That is our daily life and in that there is no hope, and therefore every form of philosophy, every form of theological concept, is merely an escape from the actual reality of what is. All outward forms of change brought about by wars, revolutions, reformations, laws and ideologies have failed completely to change the basic nature of man and therefore of society.” Thomas Jefferson "The way to live a long time — oh, a thousand years or more — is something between the way a child does it and the way a mature man does it. Give the future enough thought to be ready for it — but don’t worry about it. Live each day as if you were to die next sunrise. Then face each sunrise as a fresh creation and live for it, joyously. And never think about the past. No regrets, ever.” Robert Heinlein "Markets are living things with bi-polar personalities prone to enormous temper tantrums, but in the end, they always come to their senses. All they need is time-out. But whatever we do, don’t lose faith in them, we’re warned. Their wrath will rival a vengeful God." Rudolf Kerkhoven "Most people overestimate what they can do in a year and underestimate what they can do in ten." Nigel Marsh "He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it." Douglas Adams "I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?" Ernest Hemingway “A thorough reading and understanding of the Bible is the surest path to atheism” Donald Morgan "I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours." Stephen Roberts "War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." Ambrose Bierce "We are a fountain of shimmering contradictions, most of us. Beautiful in the concept, if we're lucky, but frequently tedious or regrettable as we flesh ourselves out." — Gregory Maguire "I am very optimistic about humanity, and very pessimistic about humans." Rudolph Henkel “So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they’re busy doing things they think are important. This is because they’re chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.” Morrie Schwartz "I knew a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself." Johnny Carson "The first man to raise a fist is the man who's run out of ideas". H.G. Wells "The greatest tragedy in life is to spend your whole life fishing only to discover that it was not fish you were after." Henry David Thoreau "Why do we try to define people as simply good or evil? Because no one wants to admit that compassion and cruelty can live side by side in one heart, and that anyone is capable of anything." Anonymous "A dead thing can go with the stream, but only a living thing can go against it." GK Chesterton "Everyone has a right to be an idiot. Some people abuse the privilege." Joseph Stalin "If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments." Earl Wilson “I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” Jerome K. Jerome "Society exists only as a mental concept; in the real world there are only individuals." Oscar Wilde "Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society." Mark Twain "Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money." Jackie Mason "Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like." Daniel Handler "Capitalism without bankruptcy is like Christianity without hell." Frank Borman "As a group, lemmings have a rotten image, but no individual lemming has ever received bad press." Warren Buffett "Modern man drives a mortgaged car over a bond-financed highway on credit-card gas." Earl Wilson "At what age do you tell a highway it was adopted?" Zach Galifianakis "If you're falling off a cliff, you might as well try to fly." Anonymous "Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth." Oscar Wilde “There’s nothing to match curling up with a good book when there’s a repair job to be done around the house.” Joe Ryan "Some people would rather die than think. In fact, they do." Bertrand Russell "Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right." Isaac Asimov "There are very few jobs that actually require a penis or vagina. All other jobs should be open to everybody." Florynce Kennedy "Man’s mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions." Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr. “The human foot is a work of art and a masterpiece of engineering.” Leonardo Da Vinci "The boldness of asking deep questions may require unforeseen flexibility if we are to accept the answers." Brian Greene "I asked a Burmese why women, after centuries of following their men, now walk ahead. He said there were many unexploded land mines since the war." Robert Mueller “Life moves on, whether we act as cowards or heroes. Life has no other discipline to impose, if we would but realize it, than to accept life unquestioningly. Everything we shut our eyes to, everything we run away from, everything we deny, denigrate or despise, serves to defeat us in the end. What seems nasty, painful, evil, can become a source of beauty, joy, and strength, if faced with an open mind. Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such.” Henry Miller “The belief that there is only one truth, and that oneself is in possession of it, is the root of all evil in the world.” Max Born “Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.” Albert Einstein "If you want to make enemies, try to change something." Woodrow Wilson “I shall not commit the fashionable stupidity of regarding everything I cannot explain as a fraud.” C.G.Jung "The only reason I survive is because of the common folk superstition that it's bad luck to kill a journalist. Walking under ladders, breaking mirrors, killing journalists - all very bad luck." Robert Stacy McCain “People find it far easier to forgive others for being wrong than for being right.” J.K. Rowling "Being broke is a very efficient educational agency." Edwin Lefevre "Power doesn't have to show off. Power is confident, self-assuring, self-starting, and self-stopping, self warming and self-justifying. When you have it, you know it" Ralph Ellison "It's the simple things in life that are extraordinary; only wise men are able to understand them" Paul Coelho “Nothing, to my way of thinking, is a better proof of a well ordered mind than a man’s ability to stop just where he is and pass some time in his own company.” Seneca "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." Albert Einstein "When others demand that we become the person they want us to be, they force us to destroy the person we really are. It's a subtle kind of murder. The most loving parents and relatives commit this murder with smiles on their faces." Jim Morrison "Watch what people are cynical about, and one can often discover what they lack." George Patton "I find television very educating. Every time someone turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book." Groucho Marx "Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in a world they have been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact; It is an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration; It is a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing." Richard Bullock "If the world should blow itself up, the last audible voice would be that of an expert saying it can't be done." Peter Ustinov “The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday.” Kurt Vonnegut “Writing is a form of therapy; sometimes I wonder how all those, who do not write, compose, or paint can manage to escape the madness, the melancholia, the panic fear, which is inherent in a human condition” Graham Greene “The human brain is a wonderful organ. It starts to work as soon as you are born and doesn't stop until you get up to deliver a speech.” George Jessel “You are the same today that you are going to be in five years from now except for two things: the people with whom you associate and the books you read.” Charles Jones "Think wrongly, if it pleases you, but in all cases think for yourself" Doris Lessing "The most essential gift for a good writer is a built-in, shock-proof, shit detector. This is the writer's radar and all great writers have had it." Ernest Hemingway "The best intelligence test is what we do with our leisure time." Laurence J. Peter "Never confuse movement with action." Ernest Hemingway "People say that what we're all seeking is a meaning for life... I think that what we're really seeking is an experience of being alive, so that our life experiences on the purely physical plane will have resonance within our innermost being and reality, so that we can actually feel the rapture of being alive." Joseph Campbell "You become what you think about." Earl Nightingale "Every man's memory is his private literature." Aldous Huxley "The really tough choices ... don't center upon right versus wrong. They are genuine dilemmas precisely because each side is firmly rooted in one of our basic, core values." Rushworth Kidder "We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance." Japanese proverb "I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them. If I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do." Robert A. Heinlein

Interviews with a Tantric Kali Priest: Feeding Skulls in the Town of Sacrifice by June McDaniel Skulls are widely used in Bengali folk Tantra. They empower buildings and grounds, like the relics in early and medieval churches. They are buried in tem- ples, under the altar or in a corner, and they turn the building into sacred ground. They are also buried at the foot of sacred trees, and they make ordinary ground into an empowered meditation seat. Although skulls and images of death are normally inauspicious in Hinduism, certain skulls bring luck and fortune in meditation. Skulls give protective energy (sakri) and support the sadhu in his efforts. They are often painted red, to show that they are alive and auspicious, and to protect them from mold and the Bengali weather. They are ironic images, which represent death yet encourage the spiritual rebirth of the holy man or sadhu. Skulls are not old bones, but relics that mediate the supernatural (alaukika) world, calling down the goddess Kali to help the practitioner. Skulls are really not dead but alive, companions and friends of the sadhus. They are inhabited by earth-bound entities who seek spiritual knowledge rather than pleasure, but were never educated in this field during their lives. Skulls give their power, and this is the sadhu's offering: he may become guru to the dead. He can teach them the way to the heavens, and initiate them with empowered mantras, the keys to the kingdom. Spirits are said to cluster around meditating sadhus, but the sadhu will only give mantras to those spirits who bring their skulls to him. They travel through the midnight air, carrying their skulls to offer, and the ones he accepts belong to the spirits who will be initiated. The sadhu takes the power from the skulls. This strengthens him in his own quest for infinite wisdom (brahmajnana), for one needs power (sakti) to hold brahmajnana. Without enough power, the Tantric sadhu could go insane, or he may have only glimpses of his goal but be unable to maintain the state. Sadhana (spiritual practice) with skulls is rarely seen today, but it is associated with certain locales, especially those with a background of death and sacrifice. The town of Bolpur in Birbhum (West Bengal) was named for the large number of sacrifices performed by one of its kings. According to the legend, centuries ago the great king Raja Surat had a vision of the goddess Kali. She asked him to sacrifice one hundred thousand goats to her (some versions say it was buffaloes), and if he did this, his dreams would be fulfilled. He did indeed sacrifice these goats, and gave the town its name (bali-pur, "town of sacrifice"). Since that time, there has been temple worship of Kali in the town. There are several Kali temples in Bolpur, and one of them is on the edge of town, near the woods, with a large cremation ground nearby. This is the Kali Temple of the Dry Lake, a temple is dedicated to Daksina Kali, who is a benevolent form of the goddess worshiped by householders. She is also called Bhairavi Vais- navi, showing that she is a Tantric goddess with such Vaisnava qualities as com- passion and the ability to bestow happiness. Within the temple, there is a large statue of Daksina Kali, with black skin and a smiling face, with her two assistants, Dakini and Yogini, flanking her. There are also statues of the Sakta Siddhas (per- fected beings) Vamaksepa, Ramakrsna Paramahamsa, and his wife Sarada Ma. Behind the statues on the altar is a row of human skulls, painted red. Daksina Kali is merciful to her devotees. Renouncers and sadhus worship more powerful forms of Kali, called Smasana Kali (Goddess of the Burning Ground) and Varna Kali (Kali of the Left Side, or Kali of the Forbidden). They offer her meat and wine, flesh and blood, placed in a skull. At this temple, offerings of meat and wine are made to Kali's assistants, Dakini and Yogini, but these are only offered outside the temple. The priest or purohit of this temple is Tapan Goswami, whose Vaisnava name reflects honors shown to his ancestors. He is a practicing Sakta, who worships Kali and meditates upon her. His practice, however, includes many older ele- ments. Tapan was born in small village about twenty kilometers from Bolpur, where his grandfather was a respected temple priest and Tantric sadhu. He came from a Sakta family. My family's goddess in the village was Uluicandi. She came from the earth, in the form of a stone. She was found a thousand years ago. When there was no rain in the village, my ancestors would bathe the stone in the pond, and rain would come. They worshiped her under a neem tree, and she had a small shrine there. She was originally a house goddess, but then her worship was opened to the village. Later my ancestors had a statue (murti) made, and it was immersed each year, and a new statue made. They worshiped her every day except for the [festival] time of Kali Puja, when a pitcher (ghat) was worshiped instead. However, village life is primarily agricultural, and during his childhood a drought came and brought famine. All of the crops failed. The family then moved to Bolpur, which at that time was surrounded by forests. In those days, the temple was not easily accessible to visitors. As Tapan states: I came to Bolpur when I was six years old, and my father began to work as the priest of this temple. At the age of about ten or eleven years, I began to visit the temple at night, secretly. I was kept from going there in the daytime. But I could get the keys to the temple, and I went there at night, even though often I was afraid. 1 felt that the Goddess looked with favor upon me. Here, we believe that on the new-moon night, people should offer incense and candles to the Goddess. When I opened the temple door one new moon night, I found that many types of offerings (prasad) were there. I ate them, because I was hungry, but then I was afraid that people would be angry at me, and I thought of not returning. But I had such a great longing to return, that I could not stay away, and after a few days I came back again. He spent his childhood attracted to the Goddess but fearful of her power. One night, when there were visitors to the temple, he saw a cake suddenly materialize, rise in the air, and fly toward him. He took this as a sign of the Goddess's power and her gift to him, and he became more and more curious about her. As he grew older, he began to visit many renunciant sadhus and sannyasis, especially those performing Tantra sadhana. He asked them many questions about ritual practice, and about the nature of Kali. When he was twenty-one years old, he met a sadhu who taught him about Tantra sadhana; however, he was not initiated. He wandered to different places in West Bengal; he studied for a while at the Ramakrishna Ashram in Suri, then spent time in a village, then attended Vishvabharati University in Shantiniketan. During his years at Vishvabharati, he spent his spare time doing ritual practices to the Goddess. After he graduated, he worked in Dubrajpur, but the job did not interest him, and he spent his spare time with the sadhus meditating on a sacred hill nearby. He left and returned to his own village; his father taught him techniques of ritual temple worship, and he learned to awaken the Goddess in the statue with rice and durva grass, and to line her eyes with black eyeliner (kajal). His father told him to work at the Kali temple in Bolpur. His relationship with the Goddess was not an easy one. He was angry at Kali because she allowed many difficulties and uncertainties in his life, and would not solve his financial and family problems. However, in the end they made peace, and the Goddess was willing to help him. He said: "When I used to do the evening ritual, I would feel a cold wind blowing behind me, and it would extinguish the candles. I would shiver and my hair would stand on end. I would hear the wind, and know that there was power (sakti) in it. I felt it was the Goddess's presence." She would visit him many times, even though he argued with her. When he came into the temple one night with his left arm broken (due to family fighting), the Goddess was there. Though they disagreed, his arm was miraculously healed, and it no longer looked twisted. His major religious teacher was his grandfather, Ratneshvara Goswami, who helped him during his childhood. He is still in awe of his grandfather's power, and told a story about him: An interesting incident happened many years ago. When my father was just a child, he was very ill, and he was finally declared dead by the doctor. My grandfather took him into the forest. There were hundreds of jackals and vultures surrounding him, but no animal came near or tried to attack him. My grandfather went into a meditative trance, and was full of devotion for the Goddess. After three or four days, my father began to move, and he regained his life and his strength. The Goddess saves people in her many forms - Durga, Kali, Tara - but it is my belief that my father was saved by the intervention of Kali. Tapan said that his grandfather was a powerful tantrika, who could cure people from deadly diseases and snakebite. The grandfather had practiced Tantric rituals alone in the mountains, and had practiced the pancamakara rituals (the five Tan- tric "sacraments," all of which are words beginning with the letter M) with a temporary wife. He had a guru who guided him, and he had great devotion to the Goddess, which has continued in the family. After his grandfather's death, Tapan continued to communicate with him. The spirit of his grandfather would come to visit Tapan in his dreams and visions, instructing him in ritual and relationships with the spirits. He says that his grand- father's spirit has chosen to dwell in his favorite meditation place, his ritual seat, which is placed over five buried skulls at the foot of a large tree in the woods near the temple. His grandfather created this "five-skull seat" (pancamundi asana) and spent much time there during his life. When Tapan wishes to communicate with his grandfather's spirit, he sits on this ritual seat and meditates there. Tapan has been possessed by his grandfather. In Indian tradition, the guru is like a god, and being possessed by a god is a desirable situation. Tapan knows when he is coming: He comes to me like the wind, and I can hear the sound of his wooden shoes. Once, I was sitting here before the Goddess, and I heard the shoes and felt the wind at my back. It put out the candle. It was my grandfather's spirit, and he entered my body and I felt great joy (ananda). I found myself chanting many mantras. I stayed con- scious, and could see everything, but he was there too. He had told me that he would come that evening. The mantras made me feel full of power, and his presence was a powerful thing entering me. Once some people came and had cigarettes with some drug in them, and I felt myself becoming unconscious. I called on my grandfather for help, and he came to me and possessed me. Visitors have been a problem: "Many people have come here and tried to meet my grandfather in his subtle body. He was annoyed when some tantrikas wanted spiritual powers (siddhis), and built their own pancamundi asana. There should never be more than one at a sacred site (pitha) at a time. I speak with him often, but he would not speak with those people." Although Tapan was close to his grandfather, he was not as close to his own father, who only taught him formal ritual worship (puja). He had to learn spiritual practice on his own, by studying with the various sadhus he could find, and was never officially initiated. He learned on the road, and in his travels. He performed Tantra sadhana in the mountains, as his grandfather had done, but after he mar- ried and became a temple priest he limited his practice to more traditional wor- ship, which he called Vedic sadhana. He felt that safeguarding his grandfather's property allowed him to fulfill his grandfather's "unspoken dreams," so he left his Tantric practices in the mountains. I began to meditate seriously, perfecting my knowledge and ritual practice. As I did this, I saw that I began to gain new power (sakti). I realized the power of sadhana, and that if any person could do it properly, he could gain perfection (siddhi). But it is difficult in daily life to balance family and spiritual practice. Families do not tend to encourage and inspire sadhana, and neighbors don't understand it; they look down on people who perform puja. This discourages practice. They are only interested in the Goddess when they are sick or in need: then they will worship. Otherwise, they stay aloof. They only want immediate gains and blessings. I think that true sadhana can only be done in isolation, away in the mountains. However, he did retain one one Tantric-style ritual, the feeding of skulls, as taught to him by his grandfather. Behind the Kali statue in his temple is a long line of bright red skulls, who are given offerings. He describes the ritual as follows: The Goddess is normally invisible before us, but through sadhana, we can see her. One ritual that I perform here is the feeding of skulls (mundake khdoya nao). Generally, skulls like puffed rice, though some like fried lentils, curries, or wine. After perform- ing a sacrifice (bali), I feed them with raw meat [in this case, "feeding" means offering a plate of food before each skull]. The feeding is accompanied by a ritual fire (homa) and sacrifice (yajna). After the feeding, I bathe them in ghee, yogurt, milk, and honey, and then I arrange them for worship. Sometimes I do this when I need more mental balance or physical strength. Skulls are useful, because the person's soul often stays with the skull. The soul can predict the future, and help the sadhu. People used to do the corpse ritual (sava- sadhana) and sit on the dead body of a virgin girl. She would then become Kali, and the body would come back to life and talk. My grandfather did sava-sadhana, but people today are afraid of it - if you make one mistake, you die or go insane. This sadhu in orange that you see roaming around here in the burning ground did sava- sadhana wrongly, and he was made insane by it. But he will return to sanity one of these days. I feed the skulls on the altar, and they help me. I learned the skull-feeding ritual from my grandfather. When the skulls are fed, they are pacified and they become protectors. Then they are strong enough to fight of f the evil souls (atmas) who wish to distract or harm the sadhu. When negative spirits (bhutas and pretas) try to disturb the sadhu's meditation, then the good souls fight the bad souls and keep the sadhu on the right path. Sadhus often have helpers. Sometimes sava-sadhana is performed with a woman, who is called the uttara sadhika. She has great skill (adhikari) and helps the male through meditation if he is distracted by evil spirits. When the sadhu draws a circle around himself to protect him from these spirits, she is within the circle. Sometimes the sadhu may invite his guru in subtle form to watch over him and help him. Today, it is widely believed that there are no ghosts, but really there are souls who do not die. They are always around us. Sometimes they may enter into our physical bodies, and cause problems or even tragedies. It is only by sadhana, by dedication to the Goddess, that we gain control over them. Then they can work for our benefit. We become immune to fear, hate, and intense desire with their help. I show them loyalty, and they guard me. The skulls in this temple mostly come from people who died in epidemics, es- pecially cholera epidemics. Large numbers of people used to die, and there was no effective system of cremation at that time. Corpses would lie on the roadside or in the forests. Under the altar (vedi) of this temple there are 108 skulls buried. Some altars have 1,008 skulls. Skulls awaken the Goddess, and make her present here. Male gods have stones (Silas) or lihgas [of Siva], but goddesses have skulls. Some skulls are used for pancamundi asana [a ritual in which the practitioner sits on a seat in the midst of five skulls, generally of different types of animals and persons]. People use the skulls of a low-caste man, a jackal, a tiger, a snake, and a virgin girl (kumdri). They must be young, and die suddenly by violence. Nobody wants the skulls of people who died of disease or old age. Some tantrikas have a special relationship with the Doms [low-caste people who traditionally burn the dead and deal with corpses] who work in hospitals. These Doms notify them of appropriate deaths. Tapan compares the skull-feeding ritual with the corpse ritual (sava-sadhana) because in both cases a dead object becomes a vessel for a living presence through ritual. The souls from the skulls are also like the Tantric consort or uttara sadhika in that they assist in ritual practice. Although the female consort can help the Tantric practitioner overcome the power of instinct by the use of mantra and mudra at the correct times, the souls can help the practitioner battle evil spirits and temptations in his meditative visions. The Goddess is more powerful than the souls, and comes to visit and help more rarely. Tapan calls the Goddess "Ma" (Mother). Ma has given me many favors. I remember once at night, I dreamt of a little girl (whom I believe was Ma) who came to help me. At that time I had little money and was renting a very small room. The girl came to me and took me to a new house for rent in my neighborhood. 1 awoke the next morning, and followed the path that we had taken in the dream-vision. I saw a house that looked exactly like the one I had seen. There did turn out to be a room for rent there, a spacious room that I could afford. So I believe she really did help me. Once she appeared as an old woman, perhaps eighty years old, and she patted my head, which was on her lap. At that time I was under much stress - my sadhana was not smooth, and 1 was disturbed by many bad events, which frightened me. But Ma saved me, and she gave me her blessings. She can also help at death, as can the guru. The Goddess gives blessings during life, and after death she can also help. She does not help directly, for such things are determined by karma. Those who did evil on earth are kept in hell (patala) in the forms of jackals or snakes, and they cannot leave immediately. If they didn't do much evil, they may move about their past family and friends in nonphysical (aprakrta) form. But if the person dying had a true guru, then he could act as a mediator for the person to reach heaven (svarga) or Kailasa [the mountain abode of Siva], and Kali can help to show the way. If one wishes to reach the kingdom of the gods and goddesses, it is necessary to worship them. It is difficult to describe. You see, in this world everything is both difficult and easy. It depends upon how you approach it. If a person has a proper guide, if he is given much instruction and experience, if his guru watches him closely, then nothing is difficult to attain. But the qualities (gunas) inherited from previous lives are also important. Without the proper qualities, one cannot perform sadhana. If a person was educated in this area in his previous life, then he could guide himself automat- ically, and would not need anybody else. Tapan has worshiped Kali in a variety of ways. There are many forms of Tantric sadhana. There are three major styles (bhavas): the sattvika, rajasika and tamasika bhavas. The sattvika bhava is devotion (bhakti), and that is the best path to follow. The tamasika bhava can give one the presence of the Goddess, but it does not last long. It stays for a little while, and then it ceases. It is very brief, and very fickle. Devotion lasts longer. One cannot get really close to the Goddess without devotional love. Only bhakti justifies Tantra. I have practiced both Vedic and Tantric sadhana. But I do not call myself a tan- trika - I don't take liquor, bhang, ganjika [hashish] and that sort of thing. Tantra is a dangerous path - there is much possiblity of insanity and brain damage. The Tantric path to liberation is fast and easy (sahaja), but it always has risks. The Vedic path is longer, but the risks are fewer. I think that the feeding of skulls is the first stage of practice, where one learns to control ghosts and ghouls (bhutas and pretas), and one gains immunity to snakebites, and dedication to the Goddess. Then the Goddess comes to protect her devotee, and vision comes, as well as telepathy and the ability to know the future. He does not call himself a tantrika because tantrikas have a bad reputation in West Bengal. They are popularly portrayed as madmen, perverts, cannibals, drug addicts, and alcoholics. However, his practice does have a heavy Tantric flavor, which he renames as Vedic and devotional. He justifies this by saying that his ultimate goal is devotional, so his practice can be called devotional. Tantra is only a stage of worship. Tapan has dedicated himself to his life as a priest and Sakta devotee: I inherited this temple and burning ground, and now they are my property. I have given my village land and shares in the lakes to my brothers. I want to fulfill the wishes of both my father and grandfather. I have been here since 1979, for fifteen years. Ma developed the temple, and I have been her mediator. I have also been inspired by a woman renouncer, a sannyasini named Sangadevi, a distant relative of Rabindranath Tagore. I will be forever obliged to her. She was a great help to me. I hope that the temple will grow, and that more people will come to worship the Goddess. However, he finds it a hard life, and does not want his son to follow in his footsteps. He wants him to work in an office in the city. Really, sakti sadhana is becoming obsolete today because nobody teaches it. I do not want my own son to be a Sakta sadhu. I will teach others, but I will not teach him. I want him to work in an office. I had to go through much suffering in this practice, and I want to spare my son. Learning about sakti sadhana is predetermined; if it is his karma, he will learn it somehow. If it is in his blood he will do it, and find a guru of his own. I want him to do worship, but not sadhana. It is a difficult life, and much suffering is involved. I had only my grandfather to help me. His comments about Tantric goddess worship (sakti sadhana) becoming obso- lete are quite accurate, according to my observations. Very few people are willing to admit that they even practice, let alone teach it. As families are becoming more nuclear, the importance of the ancestors and grandparents decreases; as com- munism and Westernization spread through the villages, traditional religious be- liefs die away. What remains are Vedanta, traditionally the province of the higher and more educated castes, and devotional bhakti, which is understandable to the Christians who possess money and can provide jobs. These approaches have not yet been subject to attack. Tapan states, "Now the atmosphere here is against tantra sadhana, and people are afraid, because sometimes people who do ritual practice are beaten by goondas [bullies or criminals, often hired by political groups]. Maybe tantrikas can manage in a deserted forests or cremation grounds, but if anybody knows about the practice, there is trouble." It seems that these attackers harass the sadhus as part of an organized attempt to rid West Bengal of people viewed as social parasites and troublemakers. Prac- titioners from several areas of West Bengal have described the harassment that they have suffered from the Communist "Anti-Superstition Clubs" in the elemen- tary and high schools, and from other groups whose affiliations are not advertised. However, the worship of the Goddess in Tantric style continues sub rosa: "But people believe in Sakti, even with communism. Many Communist leaders go to tantrikas and astrologers to find out what the results of an election will be. I have had Communists come here to this cremation ground, though they tell their followers not to come here, that it is superstition. They tell them this because they are afraid that the illiterate people will get power from the Goddess, and take it away from them. They want to keep the power for themselves." Such a situation makes him wonder about the future of Tantric practice. Tapan states: "I think that worship of Kali will survive, but there will be fewer members. I think that in fifty years there will be no gurus left, and the practices will all turn shal- lower and more superficial." Tapan's own long-term goal is universal and devo- tional: "What I want to do is stay at the beck and call of Ma, lay down before her feet, give her offerings and serve her, and also run my family and know about the outside world. Then my vision of her will be clear instead of fuzzy, and I can perform service to the world." Maintaining the older Tantric traditions in the face of hostility from the forces of communism and Westernization is difficult for tantrikas, and many have gone into hiding. Others have claimed to be devotees, bhaktas, or Vedic scholars, as a way of protecting themselves from attack. Few tantrikas are wandering sadhus today; most have some job and status and perform Tantric sadhana privately. The Nababharata Press has published a number of Tantras in Sanskrit with Bengali translation, so that non-Sanskritists (usually meaning non-brahmans) can practice the rituals. There are also small Tantric circles, in which people study texts, and other small underground groups that practice rituals. For virtually all the tantrikas I interviewed, however, the dimension of Tantra that focuses on the conquest of death and transcendence of this world is more important than the sexual aspects that have been emphasized by many Western writers on Tantra. It may be that such a focus is regional, and that West Bengal is one of the few Tantric regions that has emphasized death and its symbolism as the major path to the Goddess's paradise. With the focus on death rituals, it is appropriate that the Tantric aides to transcendence are ghosts, who become help- ers and protectors on the paths to Kali's heaven. Research for this article comes from fieldwork in West Bengal, from 1993-1994, on a Senior Scholar Fulbright Research Grant. The data in this biography come from visits to the Bolpur Kali temple and to Tapan Goswami's house. The inter- views were conducted in Bengali, as Tapan spoke no English.

My NDE tells me otherwise. Death is a transition. Our consciousness leaves the physical vehicle which then returns to the ground. When you sleep and you dream - everything you experience is created by you. We are not the body. The consciousness returns Home sree. We are not the body. We are not the mind, thoughts, feelings or emotions. The mind is our keyboard - so to speak. The 'person' is the mind, an Illusion. Their is no 'person'. How do you know its not answered! Each individual's Life is unique, their equation is unique. The Source answers all 'prayers' as Life unfolds in its Mysterious Way. We are not as wise as we would like to beLIEve. Everything is perfect because 'it is' what is. Reality. Lying is bad because it is avoiding the truth. Of course I've lied, everyone probably has. We even have a good lie called a 'white lie'. Cute aren't we ! Animals live in a tougher environment than us soft humans sree, they have camouflage for a reason ! Soldiers do too - which tells you a lot about the true nature of war. By the way sree, I'm ex-military. As were my Dad and brothers. I speak from experience. War is for fools. Soldiers are not heroes. See Dr Kissinger for viewpoint on soldiers, not very nice. But 'they' have us policing ourselves and killing people we don't even know ! The dalai lama and the pope just promote the propaganda of their brand of religion - a far cry from the Truth. I have no time for either. My Journey with Cancer is the Truth, not as I saw it sree but as I lived it. And I even have witnesses ! Medical papers too, even photographs of my tumors and polyps. Gruesome my wife calls them, art is what I say ! Want to see my stomach and the scars from surgery ? The peculiar 'tucked' in 4 inch 'hole' ? Or spend 5 hours each night with me as I empty my S Pouch. And sree I wake up each day knowing I may have another battle on my hands, but I adore Life and Dance(for you cat!), sing and laugh at every opportunity. Blessings to All who read this thread - page 30 !!! Wow !!! Who mentioned poker - LOL !!! One card game I've never played for money - only matchsticks with my Dad! Dominoes anyone !!! Some Bill Hicks (one of natural doctor's!!!) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SlrKW7fh_Bo Namaste, gentlewind Namaste, gentlewind

My understanding is that there isn't anything wrong with any of your thoughts, it is just believing in your thoughts which causes you problems; believing that your thoughts about something are the same thing as the thing itself is the fundamental crux of the dream state most of us are in and trying to wake up from. So from that perspective I think many of the New Age practices are just another way to keep you stuck in the drama of your mind and inevitable confusion, struggle and conflict that creates in you, as they maintain the delusion that you will find what you really want from that realm and it can make you happy. Adyshanti says "There is no such thing as an absolutely True thought, this doesn’t mean that some thoughts are not truer than others, only that no thought is absolutely True" So if that is true and you are interested in reality and the potential peace that brings it might be useful to try see through the illusion that thought creates altogether, rather than go chasing certain thoughts and trying to get rid of others.

Hrmmm. I remember reading a book called Kundalini Rising and I once had a dream where this guru helped me align my chakras, was pretty cool. But in my opinion Kundalini is like any other 'energy source' or cultivation. I never understood the term activation and quite honestly I find it highly stupid to phrase it in that manor. Kundalini seems to have been a Hinduistic/yogic term that was miss translated into English that has seemed to have caused a butt load of confusion. Never the less, if your practicing kundalini or tantra, make sure you get in touch with the Goddess. Whatever pantheon you prefer or feel called to. She may help you sort out any issues/blockages if you are devoted and sincere. Most new agers think kundalini is all about conjuring powers and siddhi's. The Goddess IS NOT impressed by this line of thinking nor does she seek to entitle those who will only use such 'powers' to hurt and oppress others, without being taught a lesson.

or lost in a dream and he become it; either, smiles sailing the sky

I was fully awake. I'd think it's nothing special if it had happened in a dream. I had heard voices before. I had seen stuff through my third eye. I had my body shaking by itself before. But this time, it all happen at once. And the comfortable was very strange. It wrapped around my body so tight that my skin cling around my bones. Have you seen the vacuum food sealer? I thought I was processed in one.

Did you experience them physically or in some astral dream state???

So Hun and Po -- yeah I'm recording Paranormal Witness marathon on SciFi today -- I missed the first half of it but I've never seen this show before - it's dramatic recreations of "eyewitness accounts" of paranormal activity. They actually interview the eyewitness so it seems credible (unless the eyewitnesses are actual actors also). haha. Anyway it's very much like the NDE show I love - "I Survived: Beyond and Back" - forgot about that - if there's been a new series or not. It's produced out of New Zealand though. Anyway so this how so far has had a couple who messed with a Ouja board and called on any spirit to manifestion - a friendly one - but instead some psycho spirit attached to the lady and began attacking the family and doing poltergeists. So the third show on now is this kid who was in jail but then got furlow for his Grandpa's funeral but his grandpa was evil and abused the kid and the kid hated the grandpa and then he got out of jail -- wait now he is going back -- anyway he was staying at a friend's house but this spirit was attacking the house and family with poltergeists and physical abuse. Not sure why he's back in jail - was that whole house stay his attempt to escape jail? He saids he has the power inside him to make it rain! He caused a poltergeist in the house with rain inexplicably falling from the ceiling and walls - and the landlord and his wife even were called over to see it. Anyway so it appears he is possessed by his grandfather's dead spirit - the show is not over. The first episode I saw was this UFO sighted by several different police departments -- and the thing shot off at incredible speed - sounds like the UFO that I saw - the big black triangle equilateral with no fuselage - but none of the cops saw the craft to make out a shape - just the bizarre lights. Anyway so the local military air base denied any activity but of course they would be the main suspects. O.K. so yeah as Gurdjieff says a person needs to create an astral body otherwise when they did they don't actually have an astral body. Instead they have a ghost spirit that stays close to Earth - I have seen these spirits of dead people. So actually when we are alive - without spiritual training - we are actually also already like ghosts or dead people - in a trance state - since ghosts are controlled by their lower emotional attachments - the shen spirit energy is still controlled by the kundalini energy as unconscious attachments. So we live in a lower frequency, lower dimensional dream state that is more materialistic and therefore inherently more destructive - hence all the violence on Earth, etc. I mean violence has a role in balancing life on Earth with predators being fewer in number as the top of the pyramid but then killing off the sick and elderly so that the masses maintain healthier populations without wiping out the plant sources of food. Yeah but what is happening with humans is way beyond our natural role as predators in the Natural balance of life. So Gurdjieff said how the dominant life force on Earth has to first help the Moon grow spiritually before the Earth itself can evolve to become more like a Sun. Life on Earth is governed by the Moon energy -- it is psychic but powered from the emotional energy - it is this yin chi energy -- so there is always shen energy within the jing energy and so there is yin jing energy and yang jing energy. The yang jing is the yin chi energy. Yeah it takes a lot of jing energy to get to the Solar chi energy -- the prenatal vitality -- the shen within the jing energy to fully open up as the kundalini energy. This only happens through the source of the I-thought as the Emptiness meditation -- what I call the female formless awareness. Modern humans - including females - do not live in harmony with ecology because modern humans rely on technology as the answer -- the technofeminism - and so there is a separation of heaven and earth. So modern human culture is all based on male ejaculation and so females are trained to try to get a male to ejaculate and that is supposed to be the secret to love for the female. It sounds crude to say but this is reflected subconsciously also through the technological agenda as just being phallic power. So in feminism it is taught that the emotional energy and sexual energy is repressed by males and then this is projected as disharmony or oppressive energy towards females. This is very true but also the females then try to be like males - and this is technofeminism - why? Because since there are very few really enlightened males then the females never experience real love energy - so that the heart love is rarely really opened up. The heart energy is opened up by the sublimated male energy which is the opposite of the male ejaculation. The male needs to embrace the truth that Nature is female and so the male needs to learn to have the internal female orgasms - called an impersonal eroticism - and this enables the male to not need to ejaculate - and so this enables the energy to keep building up to then increase the number of female orgasms for the female also. The shen energy is a top down approach - it is indirect for the female - but the goal of the female is the internal orgasm. Even in male spirituality this role of the female orgasm is suppressed. As soon as I stopped "flexing" my pineal gland to transmit energy then the females not only got super cranky but they also got sick!! They got so sick and cranky that I got sick from them - they were dragging my energy down!! So trying to rely on male separation from females in order to build up the energy while refusing to transmitting energy to the females to give the females what they want and need - orgasms - then this forces the females to have to sublimate their energy on their own - to learn how to rely on the Female Formless Awareness - instead of relying on males to give them orgasms. Our culture does not understand the connection between orgasms and real heart love but it is through more and more female orgasms that the love energy increases. Instead our culture is based on male ejaculation as being the real goal - this is never directly stated but it is the focus of the culture being increasingly pornographic. So it is a sick evil culture since male ejaculation is based on increasing stress hormones - it is the psychophysiology of evil - this belief in infinite male ejaculation - which is a positive feedback cycle of using up the energy of Mother Nature -- raping and pillaging Nature and humanity as a whole. So the females go around trying to get males to ejaculate - thinking this is female liberation to have "better" male ejaculations by having better male sex - but actually the females are trying to be more like males by doing this!! So this energy is actually "yin chi" energy -- it is actually the ETHERIC travel - not real astral travel - it is still the HUN soul energy because it is still based on the lower emotions. I was told I would need to fully open up the 2nd chakra to move beyond this area - but that also requires fully opening up the third eye. It is very difficult since it requires a ton of jing energy to be stored up in order to fully open up the third eye. If you study the book Taoist Yoga: Alchemy and Immortality - it's all based on male celibacy. So any loss of energy means having to start over -- essentially. A certain threshold has to be obtained for a new trajectory - a quality change from the quantity change. It is explained by Chaos Theory - called a "bifurcation point" and that's why it's alchemical. Unless that amount of yin chi energy is built up internally in the lower tan tien then the "bifurcation point" is never achieved to start opening up the third eye through the real kundalini or yang chi energy. Yeah I achieved that level for just a few weeks - the energy was too strong -- people around me were freaking out - I was told I should have called Chunyi Lin. haha. I stopped practicing and then my energy channels closed up. But the main thing I noticed is that I had turned into a "chick magnet" and so after that whenever I tried to build up energy again then either the pervs or the females would chase after me. As I was told -- it is very difficult to train in the city. So there is the issue of "ghost pollution" and I would say this also possesses people to be stuck in their lower emotions - and so an exorcism is necessary. Like qigong master Jim Nance telling me about my dad - that was a type of exorcism of me. So modern humanity is essentially possessed by all the ghosts of all the wars, etc. and so there needs to be some sort of mass exorcism of life on Earth.

It could be your energy body that needs clearing , I have seen my blockages in the past in just before waking state as black cloud like formation ... Have you investigated relation with your sexuality or are you trying to introduce some change in that field , becouse your dream is pregnant with meaning and is it possible connected with the orb hoovering over your chest ? Just asking these questions for you to answer yourself rather than wanting an answer as this stuff can be very personal .

Lower dan tien is 'working'. Do you meditate/focus on your lower dan tien? If this was in a dream, this is most likely your subtle body letting you know it is there. Usually one can open up the energy channels by rotating one way and then close them off by rotating the other way. The high pitch noise your hearing is astral hearing. You can actually hear Higher Beings when they are around you as well as when energy is transforming to a higher frequency. Usually this high pitch noise can be considered a good thing because it wards off disembodied spirits who may be in the vicinity. It is sort of like a force field as well as an attunement. Ever wonder why some monasteries have those huge gongs? hahaha. As well as some mantras. I remember when I first met the Goddess the KwanYin she greeted me with a deep resounding OOMMMMMMMMMMMMM. That vibrated my whole body. It was great.

stillness it ponders searching for itself, it seems, or lost in a dream?

In case there is a misunderstanding I'm not dismissing Castaneda. To explain, there's no doubt in me that you can make techniques work that are in the books(I've done the "hands" for awaking in dream). Back when I read JTI I was reminded about things I'd learnt or read from Mexican tradition as well as western esoterics. Many things felt authentic but like I said I was into other things back then that I was trying not to mix practices with each other. The controversies are a different thing. Who knows what happened in there? It's possible my friend freaked out from hearing about these things and eventually got turned off to the whole thing.

Well, I am having similar situation. Kind of. My grandmother on my father side is recently diagnosed with cancer. She is in her 86. She was never a kind person. She has caused many great karmas in her life time. When I do see her, which is rarely, I have to put up a wall in front of me so that her karmas does not affect me. We, my family, aren't that close to her. She does not have a lot of times to live. I am hoping she would make peace with herself at one point. Not with me but at least with those she hurts in her life time. In another notes, my grand mother on my mother side, of who I have attachment too, she began to practice Buddhism after she was diagnosed with a serious stage of diabete. She passed away in her 60s. I dream of her many times and I hope in her next life she would be reborn again and living in a more better social situation. She was brought up during the Japanese occupation in Hong Kong, during WWII. As a little girl, she used to constantly seeing dead bodies on the streets. That what she used to tell us. In your case, are you attached to this person in anyway. Is there a good reason for you to become attached to them. If not, don't cling on that feeling. Just let them be. If the prospect of dying isn't enough incentives to reflect and to re-evaluate one's life habits, these people are hopeless. The only thing you can do is to hope that there is some slight wisdom in them to see that it is bad karma to die without changing one's life bad habits.

A Buddhist might respond,...look at everything you perceive as a dream. Lao Tzu said, "Recognize that eveything you see and think (6 senses) is a falsehood, an illusion, a veil over the truth...the ego is a monkey catapulting through the jungle; totally fascinated by the realm of the senses....if anyone threaten it, it actually fears for its life. Let this monkey go. Let the senses go." Did not René Descartes, concerning the senses, articulate, “All that I have tried to understand to the present time has been affected by my senses; now I know these senses are deceivers, and it is prudent to be distrustful after one has been deceived once.”

I'm not accepting students,...nor am an expert in the dream of perceived life,...thus your beliefs far surpass all my relative knowledge. I will offer this,...be a perfect student to your mundane pursuits, and perhaps next lifetime, you'll recognize an interest beyond clinging to dishonesty to make what you don't understand more palatable..

i received an email from a friend and he asked if i would post this link here on TTB. it is my honor to do so. and it is great to see how some bums do indeed follow their dreams and their Taoist callings. this dream and Taoist calling has nestled into the Emerald mountains, closeby is the Valley of Longevity. http://www.tienshan.net/

Lloyd, There is no need to do exercises to enhance lucid dreaming unless one feels a natural compulsion to develop that skill. I quite naturally fell into it in my mid-20's while I was training in Tao Tan Pai neikung and experiencing the altered/higher states of consciousness that that system facilitated. If one is remembering one's dreams and wants to actively participate in them. There are a variety of traditions and means to practice lucid dreaming. I just happened to be have been reading Castaneda's books (Journey to Ixtlan, Tales of Power, and Second Ring of Power) during a summer that I spent in Taiwan and I was able to immediately practice the dream methods I found in them. I would not worry about encountering "negative energies" through lucid dreaming that one isn't already encountering in "non-lucid" dreams. For in general, all entities and characters in one's dreams come from one's own mind--and therefore one's own experiences. The exception is the situation where a very high-level (and probably black) magician is intruding into your mind while you are asleep. My advice is to just leave it alone if you have doubts or trepidation. If you find yourself remembering a lot of your dreams, and then feeling the urge to actively participate in them, and sense the potential to tap the power of your dreams, then you can start practicing techniques of lucid dreaming. Best, Sifu Terry www.taichimania.com/chikung_catalog.html

Hi Steve, Being aware of one's surroundings while deep asleep is akin to lucid dreaming. Dreaming one's "double" as described in Castaneda's books is part of his-- if not the Yaqui-- art of dreaming. Another way of describing it is being aware of one's astral body while it is traveling outside of one's body. Starting in the late 70's, while practicing Tan Tan Pai neikung and using Castaneda's prescribed methods, I developed some degree of skyring (visiting and seeing people at long distances that I had focussed on as I was falling asleep) and lucid dreaming, which included the ability to stop a dream once I felt enough work was done, and then finding my sleeping body again and re-entering it. The dreambody lucidly re-entering the physical body was at first a big, deep, soft jolt of an experience. Lucid dreaming is brought on by doing things to make it happen, --Yes, one can practice at it until one becomes adept at it. And yes, cosmic consciousness is a state of being attained by meditation, or accident, or genetic gift or highly evolved good karma and spiritual calling and has nothing to do with lucid dreaming. My alchemy mentor is my best friend and yes, he is alive. He also happens to be 10 years younger than me...and several incarnations wiser. Best, Sifu Terry

I've also heard of the K energy being somewhat of a dream machine, then why can't I have my creative energy back? Why do I feel like I've been drowning this sorrow for a time. I want my old life back. Music was the only thing I wanted from life, now that that's "gone" I don't really want anything anymore from life now. Lack of passion has made existence a sad thing for me. I feel like I can't even talk to people as well, it feels like my minds focus closes up on its own accord. My vocabulary is getting rusty, it's hard for me to fabricate a falsehood (tell a joke), I'm having less intellectual things to say in general and I can't tell anyone because they don't understand what's happening. This can't be how my life is going to be.

Riding - regarding Don Juan Matus, I believe it's been established that his learning in sorcery was not in the tradition of the Yaqui. He was taught his craft independently. Similar to you and I practice qigong, though it is not in any American/European tradition. As far as FP allowing you to keep up with your grandson....that's good news because I'll have my first grand daughter come September. ;-). Also I am delighted to hear updates from your 100 day practice. As you probably know I did one of those about 18 months ago and it was very trying, but also awesome and extremely healing. I'm considering starting another 100 consecutive day FP journey, and our posts motivate me. And finally, I wish I shared your experience of mundane dreams. Without going into details, mine are too much on the other end of the spectrum and I have had to deploy some techniques to protect my dream state peace. Again, please keep us posted on your 100 days. Lloyd

i did read Carlos Castaneda years ago. Then I met a Quaker (I am one) who had done a good deal of work with and practical service for Yaqi indians a long discussion with him led me to understand that many Yaqi considered CC to be less interested in them and more interested in advancing a white agenda. I can not really support this idea at this time since that was 25 years ago at a Friends Conference. It is true that many anglo's mis represent native american society for their own purposes. As to the dream world, mine are mostly un-exciting mundane sort of things especially when i am stressed or anxious. So I have limited 'experience' that is interesting sigh ...

There are some pretty unambiguous statements in Wisdom Nectar by Dudjom Rinpoche. If you want me to PM them to you, let me know. Again, you are confusing view with practice. How would you know how to do dream yoga or dark retreat without more concepts? The 5 elements, eight examples of illusion etc. are important for the practice side, not the view side.

Sifu - regarding lucid dreaming I have always been hesitant because I am not sure what I may encounter. I have had to deal with enough "negative energies" while in an awake state (or while in meditation) and I'm not sure how I would handle them if encountered in a lucid dream state. Can you please shed a little light on this? Perhaps dealing with these negative energies goes with the territory, but I would like to understand this before consideration of proceeding. I have CC's book on this, but haven't yet read it. As a result of this thread discussion that will be next on my list. Thanks in advance for any comments you can share.