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You must be self-aware that you are a figment of your own imagination, that life is just a dream and there is no such thing as death.

That's an assumption and absolutely not true for absolutely everyone. Those with very clear sushumnas to begin with who are just continuing their process from a previous lifetime, and who have a healthy and accepting environment for practice and experience as well as a good, well rounded and deeply realized Master do not necessarily experience this mess at all. I've met plenty of people like this. I'm not one of them. My story is much like your own, except I haven't put it to sleep. My story was only like your own when I veered from the path my Kundalini Master was helping design with me. When I stopped following her guidance, and when I didn't heed the dream warnings from her and the various visions where she came to me and said, "stop", my life went to shambles. I'm still picking up the pieces through an entirely different path which I haven't yet fully embraced, but I am working on it as it's not an easy process. I just wouldn't make the false assumption that if ones kundalini awakening isn't like Gopi Krishna's, who I've read, then it's not kundalini. When one's kundalini is awakened by a living lineage that also has lineage connected into the higher realms as support both physical and secret beyond merely the physical, one's kundalini awakening and process can indeed be quite smooth. But, only if one follows the hints and guidance of the teacher, lineage and inner prompts. I have seen this in plenty of people from my previous path and my current path as well. I fully assure you, your example is not a universal truth.

I think several people have probably developed a temporary nondualistic state of awareness from meditating, but I am really not so sure if that is what I am looking for, or even what I define to be enlightenment. It seems like a traumatic brain injury or death of the physical body probably would undo that state of awareness, hence it isn't a permanent attainment. I live everyday with the knowledge I will die, and my base awareness may begin a new dream in a reality similar to this one. I want to rise above that cycle altogether, and only a handful of practices seem to promise that, via an energetic route. I like Robert's system to me it seems like you are feeding and strengthening the inner body preparing for an exit, and I think it might be relevant to my goals. I also think being out of body gives you access to tons of knowledge and experiences you couldn't otherwise attain.

Fantastic work dmattwads. "non genital type sexual compulsions" is interesting. Interesting to ponder in what way were the compulsions 'sexual'...expanding the notion of what is 'sex' ... you might like "the soul of sex" by thomas moore...it's a really good book by a jungian analyst who was previously a catholic priest, explaining that we need sex from somewhere very deep in our souls,as part of our every moment, and it isnt at all limited to a genital experience, but is a fundamental engagement with life, the fabric of being here, the fabric of our being. .. sometimes BDSM stuff is about giving up personal power and yielding deeply to a greater power...or playing around with breaking through personal boundaries.. symbolic ya know, like dreams or poetry... doesnt mean you have to be horrified and think you are going to have to get literal and act it out... it might be that every organ we have has it's own expression of sexual soul fantasy, a dream of what the soul seeks, in metaphor, wether distasteful to our judging mind, or beautiful.. the soul doesnt care, it just wants balance.. sex isnt just about genitals, sexual fantasies are like dreams... it's all much more expansive and less literal than we are expected to believe. thankfully.

The initial exercises for OBE are also healing exercises that rejuvinate the worn parts of the body as well as the mind. Other than that, taking antioxidents such as Vitamin E over the lifespan works from the pharmacalogical point. I'm sure you know the rest. One other not so commonly known anti-aging trick is to balance the chakras. Watch the folowing video to see if it does anything for you. Try it while meditating to experience the full effect. Having sex during OBE is new to me but I do use OBE to meet girlfriends and then meet them later in physical. They very rarely remember the OBE but follow the directions more perfectly than as if hypnotized. Come to think about it the dream/sleep state, at the subconscious level is, open to suggestion.

I have been familiar with these ideas since a little kid. I am open to the idea that science is absolutely stiff in it's correctness. At the same time... I've seen and read so many variables, and read different scientific opinions regarding variables and have witnessed things that defy modern science. Chogyal Namkhai Norbu Rinpoche also shares plenty of experiences that defy science. Including his ability to manifest objects or gifts from the Dakinis from his lucid dream world into this physical world. Also the Jalus or Rainbow Body would defy science and I have full faith in this phenomena based upon my own direct experiences. Basically, I think there is plenty of evidence revealing modern science to not be as absolute as you may think.

No, even if they had different structures, you say they are humanoid. You linked to photos of giant human skeletons. The structure would have to be vastly different and non-humanoid to be viable. You still didn't read that link. It's basic physics, man. Vajra, you seem to have some notion that because you have a vision of something, then it has Universal Truth. Your visions and remembrances don't really prove anything, and you can't generalize your visions to "prove" what you are saying. They only have meaning for you. So your 'memories' of being a 30 foot or 12 foot giant constructing the Pyramids is dream or imagination, or a different Universe or alternate reality, but not this one. You can't have a human form and be that large. Period. Out of bounds has nothing to do with my ego, it has to do with your faulty arguments, pseudo-scientific notions, or assertions of superiority and possession of the 'Truth'. Wow...what an ego!

No, this Vajrahridaya clearly stated that they were both drunker than they should have been. Whatever. You can keep your rationalizations. A 30 foot being with physiology similar to humans would not be able to get up from a lying position on the ground, nor even walk. Basic physics indicates that their mass would be much too great for their muscle and their cardiac and pulmonary function would be compromised as well. Limits of human Size Nice lucid dream, but I don't think you were building pyramids! Never underestimate the human capacity for self delusion.

Hello Melanie, Welcome !I have be OBEing since young age.And remeber asking my mum that i am scared when my body goes stiff when i close my eyes and im thinking ,but cant move it,she didnt know unfortunatley.It was so scary back than.Those pshycic realms tally with realms of our mind(IMO). Nowadays i love the feeling of loosing body councessnes. OBE has never been focus for myself just something that happens .It feels better for me to try and shift to meditation while sleeping if i can.Thats what im working on now. Do you keep dream journal?It is helpful to work my dream world out and break into patterns and meanings ,than you can remind yourself of those inside the dream and break into different spheres ..or shift councissness. I think best protection is developing honesty,kindness and good intention as in character wise.

After some 20 emails between us you say something like this to me? In the same sentence you imply that I don't actually have knowledge of hard physics, and then suggest that I claim mainstream science has all the answeres (which I most certainly don't)? Wow, bro. Your really laid me out... :lol: Seriously Ramon, the above quotes strike me not as a reaction to what I said, but a reaction to your projection onto what I said. If you will just project all your pet peeves onto me and argue with those, is it worth my energy to reply to you? Well, we were once friends, so for friendships sake, here are some things to ponder. Can you name a single accomplished physicist who promotes esoteric ideas being combined with physics? Or did you just hear that they existed? Perhaps you heard someone suggest connections between modern physics and mysticism and you inferred that there were accomplished physicists who promoted it? OK, hopefully you will take that as an invitation to only make claims that you are sure you can back up, and not as me trying to show you up. What I really want is to set a tone of intellectual integrity here, not get in a fight. I will name one such accomplish physicist: David Bohm. But he is the only one I know of. Others (Bohr, Heisenberg, Wigner) have suggested that certain philosophical ideas like Berkeley's "To be is to be perceived" are implied by quantum physics, but the connection between such philosophizing and the living esoteric traditions of the world is not something accomplished physicists are rushing to take. Now, spiritually minded people hear about this and make the connection themselves. Whereas physicists might muse about philosophy a bit, but at the end of the day the general attitude is, "Let's get back to doing real science." That is why Bohm's ideas were ignored by most physicists. Just so you know, I respect David Bohm more than any other physicist of his generation. I am very aware of the stifling and oppressive environment that exists in the modern scientific establishment. That is one reason why I gave up on my dream of getting a PhD. in math. I also believe, as you do, that the laws of physics as presently understood, are incomplete and are subject to revision (and indeed, will certainly be revised in the future). But I am also aware of the tremendous amount of nonsense out there coming from people who don't really know what they are talking about. Do you have an idea of what I am talking about? Have you experienced that? Perhaps someone telling you their theory about kundalini based on something they read in a book, but you, having been through kundalini, can clearly see that they do not really understand what they are talking about. But if you tell them this they and all their friends jump down your throat, saying "You're just repeating establishment dogma!" And you are thinking, "Um, is this person serious?" I think perhaps you root for the underdog, as do I, so you are more sympathetic to the guys outside the establishment, but remember there are two sides to the issue. About the Church issue...Once again you accuse me of not knowing what I'm talking about leaving me wondering why you think you know what I know. If this guy wants to claim there is a conspiracy he can, and I admit that it is possible and I am not qualified (and neither is he) to say definitively one way or another. But I have my reasons for saying what I did, completely separate from the annoyance I feel toward Church cover up conspiracies. The main thrust of his argument is that the Church banned the use of the tritone in Church music, and he places great importance on the tritone and thinks the ancients did too, therefore the Church must have covered it up. Can you see why I might think this guy is just being overly imaginative? The Church did cover stuff up, but that doesn't mean that people should go off and see cover ups everywhere they look. Here are some things to consider from my store of lack of knowledge of what I am talking about. Musical knowledge was lost during the collapse of the Roman Empire because basically all culture was lost. Before this cultural collapse, a Christian philosopher named Boethius wrote a treatise on music in the pagan tradition and style (because that was all that existed) so the Church was not completely suppressing the pagan music tradition at that point. Now fast forward to when culture started seeping back into Europe. People were starting to experiment with the elementary laws of harmony. Try an experiment. Listen to the intervals perfect fourth, perfect fifth, major third, minor third, and tritone. Which of these sound conspicuously less "nice" than the others? The medieval musicians thought it was the tritone (so do I, but you should try it for yourself). So they said, "We don't want this in Church music, because it is discordant." Whence the conspiracy? Now fast forward several hundred years, when Western music has developed quite a bit. Composers began to understand that the tritone can be very useful. With their more sophisticated sense of musical harmony and style, they understood that there is more to music than nice intervals. But in very simple music, like what the medieval Church musicians were working with, it is completely understandable to make the tritone taboo. Of course, it doesn't matter what I THINK about his conspiracy theory, because it's clear I have no knowledge of the issue. How can I even have an opinion on the matter, right?

Hi Vajra and Mel. I used to feel presences in my room a lot at night. One time, in a dream I was praying with great fervor, and I woke up and felt something very powerful and benevolent behind me. It felt like it was reaching into my back and messing around in there. At some point in the future, I noticed two very deep scars on my lower back, the kind you would get from a surgical incision. Dark red, raised, several inches long. But I have never had surgery... I always wondered if these two events were related, because I have no other explanation of the scars. By the way, Welcome to the forum Mel. I hope you find what you are looking for here.

Hi there, Can I ask did you go about it? In the same way? how many times did you get to go? What did you see? Did you see the city? Please I really would love to talk to you. The person that got me started on this just left me on my ear with this. I would really love some guidance and more... Melanie P.S. I know it's no pipe dream, people can even met there...

I was only stopping with that post. We ain't done yet. Hehehe. The thing you need to do Marble is to steel yourself and get ready for the truth about humans--most have no idea who they are or really why they live and think the way they do. It's horrifying to think you live in such a world but while you have illusions to the contrary there are people and species dying every minute because of that which you can't/don't want to see. So how the hell did you gain all this wisdom to be able to tell me what I need to do? That is pretty freakin' arrogant! Seems you are agreeing with me more than disagreeing but still you say I am totally incorrect in my view of life and people in general. Are you denying reality? Living in your make-believe world where everything is okay just because it can happen? That is so much a wrong view when it comes to people and their ability to differentiate between 'right and wrong', 'good and evil'. And I will say again as you did not speak to it, we each, if we have a normally functioning brain, know the difference between 'right and wrong'. We each are capable of making choices. We each have free will within given limitations. If we do 'wrong' by doing something that most people would consider 'evil' then we must be judged as being 'evil'. Doesn't matter what our past problems are. Those are things of the past. Every day we wake up we have a chance for a new life if we so choose. The woman in the first video is evil, the girl in the second video is evil. Oh, sure, they probably more often than not do good things while others are watching them because they don't want their true colors to show. A perfect example of this is spectators at a sporting event. Being crazy and stupid is acceptable here so those who are at their roots are crazy and stupid. So I understand that there are crazy, stupid and evil people on this planet and therefore remain prepared for these people. This way of life has served me very well. I don't dream when I sleep and I wake in the morning with a pure mind. I am at peace with my inner Self and I am contented with my position in life (fully retired). I have already lived three time longer than the average retired military person. That is because I never picked up any addictions that were extremely hazardous to my life. So if anyone here wants to pretend that it is okay for that woman to throw that cat in the trash bin because it is a result of karma then just remember that it is okay for some drug addict to rape your eleven year old daughter. If you believe that everything is permissable because it is a person's karma then that's fine. But just remember that when shit happens in your world. So you don't believe in evolution? What a shame. But there a lot of these people so you are not alone in being one of the lost souls. You argue against comparing the human brain with instinct but yet you insist on karma? Even when you agreed that the instinct of survival exist in the human animal? Actually, regarding laws, I normally do whatever needs be done and am always ready to accept full responsibility for my actions if I have, in the process, violated a law. That's just the way I am, the way I have always been, and the way I will always be. I don't need anyone telling me how to live my life or telling me what I need to do. And once again I will state that evil, IMO, is any act to do intentional harm to another living creature without a just cause. "Just" specifically referring to survival or avoidance of harm. The driver in your example above likely did not do something evil unless he/she intentionally hit the possum. There is even an excellent possibility that they didn't even know they hit it. That's called "shit happens". Peace & Love!

WallaMike, that's a great endeavour, a vocabulary for inner states. I can see how it would be useful in teaching the specifics of a method. this would be useful for any internal art as well since the subtleties and fine points that make any practice work are often omitted from regular books. here's one example I created way back from Robert Monroe's Ultimate Journey book. I found his book and his idea of belief system territories inspiring even if a good majority of his experiences sound more like lucid dreams. It is unfortunate that even his TMI research bordered on dabbling the paranormal however unintentional (the batteries of cars in the parking lot regularly getting drained incident). I may know a bit of what you mean by 'opening interior space' as it does feel like an expanded awareness where the darkness gains depth and size relativity of objects/perception loses meaning. Monroe may have called it Focus 12 as he describes it in the same way. For me it happens on the rare occasion during meditation (standing or sitting) and I seem to have no control over its onset or termination. Another person has described the same thing at my dojo at one time. Interesting though that you can actually induce it and link it to hypnagogic imagery; that's very close to inducing a lucid dream directly! The "falling" sensation I have used once (by instinct, not willingly) and it helped me cross into sleep; I imagined standing in embracing the tree posture which naturally relaxes the mind and was able to let go into a lucid dream. well, there's a lot of techniques and still much to learn and explore. in the end everything should connect to everything else just so long as we develop the basics properly. happy navigating and look forward to hearing more from you WallaMike

GARDEN Blinding heat divides day from night, Brands short shadows into fecund soil. Green tendrils, heavy with beans, Coil around rustic bamboo racks. Violet flowers gape erotically among velvet leaves : A single gourd contains the entire world's dream. There is a great comfort in growing your own food. You are close to the soil. You use the basic elements -- water, sunlight, earth, air, and plants -- for your work, your sustenance, and your pleasure. You nurture your garden from seedlings to mature plants, tending, pruning, weeding. Year after year, you see cycles come and go, from sprouting to harvest to withering, to seeding again. You eat your plants to live. You don't mind and they don't mind. Some day, you will fall back to this earth, back into the sun-baked dirt, and you will become food for the plants. It's the way of all life, and it's all very agreeable. Those who follow Tao say that all reality is like a series of nesting circles : microcosms within macrocosms. What is close at hand is a microcosm of what is far away. Why search all over for Tao? It is all contained in the seeds of the gourd growing in your garden.

More than 1. So far the only other realm I experienced is the dream realm. But there could be more. I have not read Lao Tse's book directly, but rather listened the audiobook version and commentary by Wayne Dyers, I have not read Chuang Tzu though. Lao Tsu wrote Tao Te Ching and Li Hongzhi wrote Zhuan Falun. There are all sorts of books. When I asked that question I meant how did you reach that conclusion from your own experience/revelation and not based on a book. One can speak like definite law and can give many quotes from a book. But that doesn't mean they(books) are always 100% true, and if true not 100% complete. Going from unhappy state to happy state seems to require a state change thus you 'reach' a happy state, therefore there is something to be reached. The means to reach a happy state can be discussed.

For some reason your post made me think of this one: By Dao Zhen I think for serious students, this is a big hurdle to overcome. It is best to not get into the habit of gaining depression when an emission happens in sleep. It is natural, and go slow and do not force anything, nor become obsessed with "saving" jing. Keep practice, follow solid methods and guidelines. With time, all will become secure quite naturally. I have found the following to be a help for me in my practice. Yet this is by no means advise from an expert, as I have very little experience. In the tradition I am learning, it is generally accepted that a serious student is celibate. 1. Change conditioned habits and patterns in regards to viewing and interacting with women - on the street, and in the manner we speak and deal with them in public situations - If we flirt, and have playful interaction with women, it may stir things up quite a bit, and cause trouble during sleep. Honor and respect women as your sisters in Tao, yet do not view them as sexual objects, nor project sexual fantasy on women. 1-a. Do not view pornography video, magazine, or sexual movies. 2. Diet. Do not over eat, and do not go to bed while full. I have found it best to eat the last meal of the day around 5pm or so. Also in the tradition I am learning, it is thought best to follow a simple vegetarian diet, with no spice, garlic, onion, scallion, chives, and cilantro. 3. Do not have very heavy blankets on the body that will create too much heat when sleeping. 4. Do not sleep on the stomach. Sleep on the back with one leg crossed over the other – hands resting below the navel, or on the right side with one leg tucked behind the bottom leg at the knee level – right palm cupping the ear – left palm below navel area. 5. The most important point I have found that helps is to sit for 1 - 2.5 hours or so in proper seated meditation practice before sleep. This is perhaps the most important point, and will yield the most results. In this tradition, we have a method to transfer Jing to Qi that is taught. It is termed - "Lighting a Fire", or "Burning a Soft Fire". It is very effective, and yields the effect of the Jing being transformed to Qi, and really is like something burns away and evaporates. There is great warmth generated in the Lower Dantian area that moves, and steams upward during the process in a manner that is very pleasurable and uplifting. One is left with a feeling of great expansion, and the sign that the Jing has been completely transformed, and it is safe to sleep is one has a feeling like a vast, expansive, clear blue sky. The sign that one has made some gain in transformation of Jing over a period of time, is generally one will stop to have dream activity. There is a great stillness in the sleep state, and no real strong dream activity. This is also related to the pattern of the Metal conquering Wood; Or the Po suppressing the Hun during the night. When the Hun is suppressed by the Po, it wanders away from the sphere of the liver, and the resulting experience is dreams. As Jing is transformed into Qi, and the Hun is strengthened, there is less and less dream activity during the sleep state. One sign I have also come to notice is that if I was lazy and just lie down for sleep without practice, there will be a feeling of something stirring in the lower Dantian, like a movement, or maybe even a worm or something is really moving and stirring. This is a sign that one will experience an emission during sleep, and it is important to have a strong will power, and sit up and cross the legs and sit to Burn the Soft Fire. It is also a good idea to get into the habit of getting up from sleep at any time in the night when you awake and there is a stirring in the sexual organ, or a strong erection. Just sit up, cross the legs, and lightly gaze over the Lower Dantian area and sit in stillness. In this system, they also teach a standing method of body movement, contraction and breathe retention in the first stages to strengthen the lower gate, to help prevent the emission during sleep. This stage does not last forever. It is as if the body and being is at first in a habit to let the liquid flow out, and loose the essence. Yet with slow and steady practice, the body and being learns another way. It becomes the natural state to preserve the essence, and no loss is experienced. It is an investment of time. So it takes a strong and steady will power. Constant and steady daily practice over a period of time. Persevere. Dao Zhen

DIALOGUE I still talk in my sleep. I still dream. How can there be perfect stillness When my brain's so noisy? We carry on a constant dialogue within ourselves. This is the origin of our problems. The very word 'dialogue' means talking between two sides. We could not have an inner dialogue unless there was a split in our minds. We all have two sides; as long as they are not united, we cannot attain the wholeness that spirituality requires. Even with years of self-cultivation, it is not easy to tame the wild mind. One might appear to have attained perfect control in all waking situations, only to find endless turbulence during meditation and sleep. This is a sign of incomplete attainment. Perfection must be total. The process of perfection is long and must be methodical. Although our efforts must be to the utmost, we must never risk repressing ourselves. Indeed, rather than shutting away the unpleasant or unruly aspects of ourselves, we must take them all out and examine them. Daily introspection brings harmony to all our facets. Those aspects that are bad can be dissolved. Those that are of advantage can be cultivated. This effort will take many years, but in this gradual way, we resolve ourselves with our subconscious mind and free ourselves from the struggle and conflict.

When that story was first told to me, it started with Lu in a bar drinking away his sorrows having just failed his first attempt at those tests. Zhongli sits next to him at the bar and asks why he's so sad that he has to drink himself into a coma and after explaining his pitiful plight Lu promptly passes out face-first on the bar and has the dream. When he finally comes around he recognizes Zhongli and follows him to learn the way. I like this version better because it has beer Also for some reason I've alway associated Lu Dongbin with alcohol

Lü Dongbin's Yellow Millet Dream One night when Lü Yan was in Chang'an or Handan (邯鄲 Hándān), he dozed off as his yellow millet was cooking in a hotel. He dreamed that he took the imperial exam and excelled, and thus was awarded a prestigious office and soon promoted to the position of vice-minister (侍郎). He then married the daughter of a prosperous household and had a son and a daughter. He was promoted again to be the prime minister. However, his success and luck attracted jealousy of others, so he was accused of crimes that caused him to lose his office. His wife then betrayed him, his children were killed by bandits, and he lost all his wealth. As he was dying on the street in the dream, he woke up. Although in the dream, eighteen years had passed, the whole dream actually happened in the time it took his millet to cook. The characters from his dream were actually played by Zhongli Quan in order to make him realize that one should not put too much importance on transient glory and success. As a result, Lü went with Zhongli to discover and cultivate the Dao/Tao. This dream is known as "Dream of the Yellow Millet" (黃粱夢 Húang Líang Mèng) and is described in a writing compiled by Ma Zhiyuan (馬致遠 Mă Zhìyǔan) in Yuan Dynasty. *** Lǚ Dòngbīn is the most widely known of the group of deities known as the Eight Immortals and hence considered by some to be the de facto leader. (The formal leader is said to be Zhongli Quan or sometimes Iron-Crutch Li.)

Mokona, Your searching is the beginning of your healing process. One of my areas of education is in psychiatric nursing where I have worked with many others, in a hospital setting, that were much more worried with their condition than you are describing. Although it is presently painfull, mainly because you do not yet understand why the pain persists, you are slowly finding the way to healing -through your searching. Obviously though - you are not happy with the frequency that you, yourself, are able to find answers. The reason that the people I worked with were in a psychiatric hospital was that a professional, with much more education in the field than I, had recomended that they be in a hospital setting in order to protect themself from themself. I write the above to point to the level of a patient in a hospital setting's needs in comparison to yours. From your own words, it seems to me, to be that you are very capable of functioning in society with no prsently real danger to your self With that said, the assistance of a person with professional as well as personal knowledge, of your pain, would be the best place to be conducting your search. You will know that you have found the right person when they begin telling you of their own experiences and the methods they used to heal themself. I suggest that you begin with searching, in the phonebook - just ask the receptionist that answers the phone, for a person that has studied the work of Carl G. Jung as he was the pioneer that brought Taoist dream interpretation to the west through his analysis of the book: The Secret of the Golden Flower . Don't be worried if the first calls don't have answers for you - it wouldn't be a search if they did *** http://www.newworldencyclopedia.org/entry/The_Secret_of_the_Golden_Flower Excerpt from the above URL " In Carl Jung's autobiography (Memories, Dreams, Reflections, 373-377), he wrote a section about his friend Wilhelm and said, in relevant part, "In China he had the good fortune to meet a sage of the old school whom the revolution had driven out of the interior. This sage, Lau Nai Suan, introduced him to Chinese yoga philosophy and the psychology of the I Ching. To the collaboration of these two men we owe the edition of the I Ching with its excellent commentary." Presumably, the same is true of the yoga philosophy of The Secret of the Golden Flower. Although Wilhelm's original German edition first appeared in the autumn of 1929, just months before he died (according to the Preface by Baynes), Jung indicates in his Foreword to The Secret of the Golden Flower that Wilhelm had sent him the text earlier, and also indicates that it was on Jung's initiative that the book was published." http://www.newworldencyclopedia.org/entry/The_Secret_of_the_Golden_Flower#Credits

Agreed i've maybe had 2 or 3 my whole life and they were during my early teens, whenever I have an "exciting" dream I too wake up and if there's any urge I successfully hold back. It seems this "oh theres no use in celebacy cause you'll just get a nocturnal emission anyway" is just an excuse for longtime masturbators to justify their masturbation. OP- I've personally noticed that ANY sexual stimulation (including mental) based around lust can cause a "leak". I myself noticed quite a drain just from mental stimuli with lustful origin. Oddly enough when in a "loving" mindstate this 'leakage' doesn't usually happen to me, perhaps moving the energy up to the heart would help?. It may take watching and guarding your thoughts carefully. Or it could be a kidney thing. Experiment. -Astral

Yes, this is very true! Ok... time to cuddle with my wifey and watch some comedy! I'm sure you use Om Namah Shivaya? I have a shawl that says Om Namah Shivaya on it all over and it's yellow that was blessed directly by Swami Muktananda a year or so before he took MahaSamadhi. I use it every time I do my sitting practices. I have a blue wool one blessed by Gurumayi as well. Plus I have a little chunk of carpet one foot by one foot that was in Muktanandas room in Ganeshpuri before they took down his old room back in 95' which I sit on, or put my chanting books on when I chant. It has Om Namah Shivaya vibrating from it. Anyway... I was just going to say Om Namah Shivaya but decided to share more... hehe! Om Namah Shivaya, still one of my favorite mantras even though I mostly use Om Ah Hum now or Om Mani Padme Hum. I sometimes use all 3 at the same time on repeat high speed within my body, running it up and down my spine and during making love with my wife. Actually, without mantra, I can't pull back my ejaculation. It's only through mantra that I'm even able to do this. It's pretty cool! Wonderful trick. My dear... you are a great being. But, I also know these feelings of mortality and residual fears even though I've had so many past life experiences and have had visitations to higher lokas, and beings from higher lokas it's still a nasty and very deeply ingrained samskara that pesters my conscious mind from time to time. Sometimes for an entire day. Like 2 weeks ago, I felt it so intense, that it felt like my body was going to dissolve and I felt the numbness of a heart attack on my left arm. I felt so floaty and vulnerable and I felt like my thoughts were so loud that I was hurting everyone and I felt like every thought or look from people was making my eardrums hurt, just thoughts were making my eardrums hurt and peoples looks at me felt like they were cutting through my entire body. I finally just had to cry in public, good thing I was wearing my shades as to not bring any more attention, but this crying was surrender to the cosmic process and was filled with great spiritual energy. I saw white light everywhere and I felt like my water element was being purified. Anyway... as you know the practices make me more deeply fearless, that's for sure. I just haven't fully died to death yet. I hope before this life is over that I do. As well as you my dear. Remember that every time you experience it, you get a closer view of it's nature, so through contemplation your wisdom should shatter that dream of a mirror... eventually. NOW!! Take care Shaktimama!! I know I probably don't hold a candle to your level of experience and I always feel a little intimidated talking with you. But, I thought I'd share just to let you know that you are not alone! Big fat kiss on your mortality samskaras... may they be healed!

"So yeah, if any gods, deities, immortals, buddhas, saints, etc are willing to pay me a visit, you know where I am so please come show me something, in the physical realm though please (no dream visits)." Alright! Where do you live?