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The purpose of dreaming is a mental cleansing isn't it? So wouldn't lucid dreaming run contrary to the purpose of dreaming? Bringing the conscious mind into that field will stop the automatic process that occurs every time you go to sleep. I can see dream practice as a very advanced practice for those who don't need this mental cleansing, but for most of us I'd guess we need stuff to get worked on and released automatically every night. Turning sleep time into a fantasy desire land (which is what many lucid dreamers do) doesn't seem very positive in my eyes. I could be wrong.

I've been practising from this book with good results so far after 2 weeks http://www.amazon.com/Tibetan-Yogas-Dream-Sleep/dp/1559391014/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1276119333&sr=1-1 Edit: you can read it for free at Google books

Don't know anything about sleeping qigong specifically but I've done a bit of lucid dreaming works. Takes a while to get consistent results from it, and once you're awake within the dream, it sometimes takes a while to get consistent in that too- sometimes the things you can do vary from dream to dream, as well as the places you'll be and the people you'll run into. More traditional methods might have a more structured way of doing things. For me a large part of dream work involved what works for me personally. A lot of stuff people have out there just won't work for you, and some stuff will, and sometimes you need to tailor your method specifically to your own situation. And on top of that, what works is subject to change- a method might work for a couple of months, then suddenly not work anymore. A good place to get started on lucid dreams specifically is ld4all.com That said, a lot of my experiences done in lucid dreaming have mirrored things that Robert Bruce talks about in his book "Astral Dynamics", so you might wanna try checking that out, as he has some interesting theories on astral travel and how they relate to sleep.

Anyone out there does sleep time practise traditional/nontraditional,self-tailored?What is it? I want to start awaking in the sleep more ,as i feel it has so much potential and is annoying me to waste too much time in slumber . So if there is anything that works for you,something you found out and dont mind sharing? What about sleeping qigong ,whats that about?Anyone practises it? Thank you, Sun

Good question. I'm not sure if it is limited to distance -- it might just rely on the shen/spirit/visualization for focus. For example let's say I have an "energy exchange" with a female. Let's say a young fertile female sees me and I her and then she goes into backside display behavior. So she stands in front of me with her backside right at my eye level so that my chi energy goes into her most efficiently. Obviously I have the predictable male reaction as this occurs. But what is less obvious is that her female jing energy is now "imprinted" in my body as a subconscious holographic memory -- stored there -- and WAITING to be sublimated later by my full lotus practice. When that sublimation occurs then the memory of her will also arise along with the internal climax on my part and who is to say there is not still some connection between us as I "exorcise" her sex energy? Still on "practical" terms I can say that I've tested the O at a D in a stiff strong gale wind -- just to see if it was just some chemical energy that might be blown off. Nope -- wind did not effect it. So I'm convinced it is the chi energy as my brain is definitely filled with the chi energy as the O at a D happens. That was still a visual connection despite the strong wind and a distance of a couple hundred feet. But visual connection is obviously not necessary. Through walls and ceilings is my current norm as sitting in full lotus in a trance tends to put off those not comfortable with ASCs. Lots of noise as my energy blockages clear out as well. The next door neighbor -- through the wall of a house and through the wall of another house -- is no problem. Even if the houses are not close together. But the farthest I can recall off-hand is from a next door neighbor with her back to me as she was probably 500 feet away. Not sure since I couldn't see her but I could HEAR her (again the female voice is the jing energy being transmitted back to me). BTW I've had PRECOGNITIVE "O at a Ds" as well! It happened to me this morning in a sense -- but one time I had a precognitive dream about a certain female doing a dance in front of me in a speciality grocery store. Strange dream as normally I can analyze my dreams to figure out the subconscious associations from the previous day that led to the dream. Anyway sure enough I had the "Glitch in the Matrix" experience when that dream came true in exact detail a few days later. Bizarre but it's happened to me enough -- once three years in advance!! -- that I got used to it to a certain extent. So it's not just distance but time as well -- and I'm really not sure it is limited. I think there has to be long-distance energy exchange involved as well.

Some people wouldn't respect SHAKTIPAT or even open up to it if they didn't pay for it. Money is karma and offering money or service in exchange for SHAKTIPAT has always been customary in order to create cracks in a persons karmic shell. Some people already have the opening due to past life work though and others need to sit on the fire and thaw out before feeling the fire. Nothing happens in the cosmos without some sort of exchange at some point or another. I did get SHAKTIPAT from Gurumayi many years ago and it was immensely powerful and I didn't pay for it. I was just looking at her picture sometime after puberty while at the Shree Muktananda Ashram in upstate NY in the 80's. I received many wonderful experiences through the path of Siddha Yoga both form level samadhi's and formless samadhi's. All sorts of different visions and travels to other worlds spoken about in the Hindu texts, etc. Experiences spoken about in Christian mystical books as well. Past life re-experiences and other such things. I learned a lot of valuable information through this path and met many wonderful and highly realized people in the path of Siddha Yoga. This is just my karma though. All good things in Siddha Yoga for me and plenty of others. I for one don't believe most of the stuff posted on the "leaving SY" website. Most of the stuff I do believe that happened which is posted on that site is pulled way out of context in my opinion and experience. But, I do find the philosophy and experiences available through the Theist traditions to be wanting as compared to Buddhist realization so this is the only reason why I left Siddha Yoga and went to Buddhism. I had some meditation experiences, walking eurekas' and lucid dream experiences via contemplation of dependent origination/emptiness that revealed the limitations of Theistic interpretation of spiritual experience and the cosmos. Many of these experiences came to me as a shock and made me deeply uncomfortable. Then I had some amazing direct "mind pointings" from a Dzogchen master named Chogyal Namkhai Norbu Rinpoche and paid very little for the retreat. These experiences set me straight and made me more comfortable with the realizations I was having about Theistic interpretations of life. Again, this is my karma, manifest due to past life work. Other than all this, I think Shaktipat is wonderful, powerful and profound, but the "mind pointing" or "transmission" I have received through my Dzogchen teacher is far more profound in both subtle and in my face ways. I met a couple of women who are involved in the same Dzogchen tradition who got powerful SHAKTIPAT experiences through Swami Muktananda in the 70's but also found the goal of Hindu realization to not be as profound as the Buddhist realization even after years of fruitful Hindu Yoga Tantra practice, no matter the lineage. This is merely my opinion and experience that I'm sharing here.

Hello all! My name is Jonathon David, and a good pal of mine directed me to this forum recently, and i finally got around to registering. It's good to be here. REALLY seems like my kind of crowd! A little about me: I am 24, generally high energy and activity, once i get going, but otherwise a hypocritical, lazy, procrastinator. ;D However, many things in my life have been changing rapidly as of last summer, which i spent on the streets, learning the real ropes of life. Reality has never before been so stark and real to me, as if i had just woken from a dream. In my time on the streets, i learned more about myself in 3 short months than the collective 24 years prior! While struggling to get by and acquire hand outs from the rare but ever so appreciated generosity, i declared myself a sovereign in the eyes of god, and further declared that i will continually uphold the will of the infinite whole of god's will, so long as i am a free and sovereign individual human being. Since making this declaration, life has become increasingly obstructed and uneasy, difficult to push forward or often to even see ahead of myself. But i refuse to give (it) up, for without freedom, without sovereignty, i might as well occupy a hole in the ground and push up some daisies. I might not have a whole lot of personal power over my own life at this time, but i am earning it more and more every day. My name is Jonathon David, and i am a Free and Sovereign Human Being, just being Human.

Thanks CowTao, it's a pleasure to hear from you. I hope I don't intimidate anyone. I don't want to impose on this forum any more than only what's necessary to say what I think. Of course I have my views, but I don't dream of one day making everyone share my views. I won't lie -- I would like to have at least a few like-minded people to talk with though. So, when people say they don't "do" "mind", what is the meaning? Is it an admission that we have substance to contend with, and thus, why waste time with the mind? Kind of like, we have these bricks to move, stop thinking about it, and let's load up the truck? It's a valid way of thinking if you believe that mind is just a side-show, just a distortion upon a perfectly objective and independently existent world. I don't believe the world exists objectively or independently, and that's why for me the mind is not just a side-show, or a distortion, but is the key player in the game, the Lord who sits in the place of power. If people believe that substance is objectively and independently existent, and behaves according to studiable laws, then of course the mind just seems like a detour. In that sense, the best the mind can do is to reflect the state of the substance accurately. But, as I said before, if someone chooses to believe in substance, why not go with science? Science has achieved much more impressive matter conversions than any yogi I've ever heard of that was not presented as a myth. I share your views for the most part. I do think Chuang Tzu talks about dying well, but not as directly and as vividly as the Tibetan Book of the Dead. And this brings me to an interesting point that's been very useful to me. I always try to understand what Bardo is like. At first I thought it was dreamy, but then I realized, since the psychic basis of this world dissolve, the vividness of Bardo becomes unparalleled, meaning Bardo appears as crispy, as viscerally as this here awaking experiencing that we experience right now, even as we read and type on this forum. Then I thought, in Bardo, I will be potentially challenged by various beings who will look imposing and quite real, and who will tell me everything about me, about their own selves and who will then try to impose on me in some way. But then I thought, this is exactly what's going on now in this world now! So, let's say, if I am quite scared and intimidated by the visions in this world, such as cops, or let's say muggers or gang members, then what hope do I have in Bardo, which will appear as viscerally and as authentically as this appearance? It seems to me that the only way I can be certain not to fall for any suggested meanings of Bardo visions, is if I am completely fearless right now and completely cognizant of the suggestive power of all the visions that appear right now. In other words: Bardo is not later. This life is Bardo. If I wait to recognize something later on, or if I wait for my opportunity of fearlessness until after I die, I am trapped in this Bardo that appears now. When I reflect like this, it helps me a great deal and it's really affecting how I relate with the world and other people and myself. It's a slow process, but with every time I reflect like this, there is a tiny change that seems to be accumulating. No problem. I think reading everyone's replies is helping me learn.

I am curious about the vision of Taoist immortality. First a small amount of background info on where I stand with Taoism: I prefer information that's been made available in translation of Lao Tzu (Laozi), Chuang Tzu (Zhuangzi) and Lieh Tzu (Liezi). Upon reading all 3 authors in translation (in English), and in some cases reading 2 or more competing translations, I come out in complete agreement with the 3 big dudes of Taoism. I agree with them. I think they raise interesting questions and tell interesting stories. And I think one can extract a lot of very valuable and practical advice for both day to day life and for esoteric practice. However! And this is a big however, not only is there no mention of immortality in the 3 key Taoist texts, but what's even worse for the seekers of immortality, they appear to advocate embracing the change! All 3 talk about the seasons, and how there is a season for everything. How things take their turns. Chuang Tzu specifically talks about death and asks something to the effect of, "Is death really as bad as we think? Why not embrace it?" This seems completely opposite of the attitude of the immortality seekers (More Pie Guy, and other serious neigong practitioners, can you hear me? ). So I don't think real Taoism has anything to do with immortality. At the same time, I admit I find all the stories of immortals to be interesting and I don't dismiss them out of hand either, but this brings me to my questions. So how does the whole thing work? First, do neigong practitioners really strive for immortality? It seems like many do, but I don't want to assume this. In particular, do any neigong practitioners on this forum want to become immortals? When I look at this world, I think the worst part is not so much that the life is limited in duration or that we are vulnerable, but that things are bureaucratic and that fearful and insecure people take actions that are too extreme for the situation or are not strong enough for the situation (judgment errors), and all these judgment errors accumulate and create a lot of unnecessary suffering. Does anyone consider that if you could live forever on this planet, life would be boring? Are you planning to be am immortal on this planet or will you fly away? Does anyone think that having a lot of personal history is as much a disadvantage as it is an advantage? On the plus side, you remember a lot of lessons, let's say, but on the minus side, as an immortal you carry a lot of historical baggage that prevents you from seeing in new ways. Try to imagine someone with a 1,000,000 year history. Is that helpful? As a way of a small example, when I dream, on most occasions I do not remember who I am in the waking world (unless I am lucid, in which case I cam remember everything about the body being in bed, about who I am in the waking world, and so on). For the most part, not remembering who I am outside the context of a dream is not necessarily a hindrance or something bad. I've not really been inconvenienced by it. There are some things I do want to remember, but they tend to be more of a principle than remembering all the actual life events. So for example, I want to remember in all of my dreams that I am not controlled by my dreams. But I don't necessarily care to remember that in my waking life, 4 hours before I went to sleep, I drank a glass of water. That seems silly and useless. I think most life events are useless to remember. When I die, I don't necessarily want to remember all of this life, but I do want to remember some "takeaway points" if you will. Some useful transcendent principles. I actually would like to forget all the other fluff. But as an immortal, it seems like you'd have a very long (infinite?) personal history with lots of useless junk in it. I also wonder about this: where do troubles come from? For example, why do people form insane bureaucracies? Is it because I am a mortal? So if I become an immortal, suppose I go to the Jade Palace, the land of the immortals. How can I be sure it won't be a yet another crappy bureaucracy? Why does everyone seem to be assuming that every other world out there, especially the ones immortals depart to, are really nice places to be, and so nice in fact, that one would wish to stay there forever in an eternal body? I think it's kind of funny, but imagine you arrive at the Jade Palace where everyone is an immortal, and so, first of all, you're no longer special. You're not an immortal among mortals. Now you are an average Joe in this new world. They tell you to take a number. You see a big line and start waiting. Eventually you reach a little window and they hand you out a little ID card and so on. If these immortals live as a society, surely they'll have conflicting interests. And if that's the case, surely they'll have bureaucracies or worse to manage all the conflicts. On the other hand, maybe immortals are not really social. Maybe immortals are like lone cats that wonder through the universe(s) alone? But then I have to ask this: if you accept a departure from society in your psyche, surely you can be very resplendently happy right here and right now without going anywhere? Social conflicts only have meaning if you really care about society, are interested in it, want to be a social participant and so forth. Then, let's say you are not bothered by any social concerns. Let's say the thing that bothers you is your bodily frailty. Now, suppose you practice neigong to refine your body, or give birth to a new body. This represent a change from one body to another, through effort. If you can accomplish a change in body through effort, doesn't it make sense that you'll need to continue to expend further effort to maintain this body in good shape, and that as soon as you stop expending effort, the body will collapse and die? In other words, if the body is not already and inherently immortal, and if it is your effort that made it immortal, what makes you think the body won't require further effort to stay immortal? This also means constantly worrying about the onset of mortality. So even if you're an immortal, you will still have constant worry and concern that if you're not vigilant, you can revert to mortal condition at any time. Isn't this kind of life as much hassle as being a mortal in the first place? What if you learn to accept bodily modifications, including any and all disease, pain, and so on, and learn to transcend it internally without requiring that your body itself be made immortal? How does that option sound? Another thing is belief in substance. Do you, neigong practitioners, believe in substance? In other words, do you believe you are transmuting and dealing with subtle substances in the body when you practice neigong? In my opinion, if you believe that all phenomena are backed by some universal objectively existent substance, the best way to manipulate and study such substance is with the scientific method. On the other hand, let's say you reject the idea of an ultimate universal objective substance. This would mean you believe all phenomena are manifestations of the primordial objectless awareness, like a blind man seeing rainbows and like a deaf man hearing music, etc., just visions without any substance or objects behind them. This means you can learn to control and to orchestrate these visions, but then, why bother with such substance-tied ideas as energy and energy meridians? You have so much freedom if you believe everything is just mind. So why not use that freedom? Why make up a vision of energy channels that mimic the body's shape? What is the point of that? I can understand if you believe those channels are inherently there because that's how the universal objective substance is arranged, you have to follow what's been given to you at birth. But if you don't believe there's anything objective that's been "given" to you, and if you realize your own body is just a vision, why make another vision on top of it? Why create a vision of energy meridians on top of this already visionary body? Why not, for example, simply dissolve the body, or depart from it? Why tinker with it? So it seems, if you set out to tinker with the body, you must really believe in substance, but if you really believe in substance, then science is the much better way to study and to manipulate substance. But if you don't believe in substance, practices like MCO make very little sense. Is it because MCO is traditional and thus, safe? Is there safety in tradition? Safety in numbers? So if you made up your own practice, you'd feel you are crazy, right? But if you follow what thousands of others have followed, you feel much safer, more sane, right? But if you are that attached to society and social conventions, then how do you expect to live a happy life as an immortal? Please refer to immortal bureaucracy above. Please understand that I am not a doubting Thomas. I believe almost anything is possible. I believe you can go through walls if you want, and leave your footprints in the rock. None of this requires one to be an immortal or to practice MCO. I just think that the idea immortality and the idea that energy practice leads to immortality is... how shall I say it... not consistent with itself. It hides a lot of contradictions and it betrays a lot of hidden weakness. So for example, immortal should be fearless, but how can you develop fearlessness by attaching yourself to an old tradition for safety sake? Big contradiction there. I don't want to inhibit anyone. I am not trying to convince anyone to be like me. I like the different things that people do and like I said, I do believe a lot of strange things are possible. I hope someone can respond to some of the questions I raise for my own enjoyment and elucidation, and hopefully it will be fun for other people as well.

And while it is trye that we have some of the some experiences while we are sleeping as we do when we are awake, I will none-the-less suggest that there is a distinct difference between the two experiences. And that is that while in the dream state our experiences effect no other person but while in the awake state nearly every action we undertake effects others. Peace & Love!

SLEEP Sleep is like a swift train Plunging into long black tunnels, Slicing day with red and black light. No worry about the skeleton engineer. Head to pillow is like head to track, Listening to the rumble of destiny, Knowing that the opening will come. In sleep, as in the tunnels, The sound seems ever closer. When you sleep, some insist that the world as you know it ceases to exist. The world exists because something inside of you asserts that it is so. When awake, are you then no longer dreaming? Or are you just dreaming another dream? Going to sleep takes letting go. As any insomniac will tell you, it can't be forced. But we so identify control with waking, is it possible that the uncontrolled aspect of sleep is an equal reality? Sleep seems so real, and then we awake. Waking life seems so real, and yet we need to let go of it every day. This strange contrast is one that those who follow Tao contemplate continually. If life is mere shifting from one dream to another, they constantly ask : What is truly real?

Hi all, I want to revive my failing thread on the inner and the outer. A week ago on Saturday something happened that made me think of this discussion. It was very hot weather (for England) and I had had trouble sleeping the night before cos it was so hot and humid - so I felt rotten. At lunchtime my girlfriend went to the shops to get a few supplies and left me on my own so I thought I'll do a bit of sitting to up my energy and for a bit of clear out. Theses days I favor a particular way of doing this which involves consciously removing attention from the body by exclusively focusing on the breath. When I do this all the channels open and I get a very powerful 'flush' which purges my body. I was part way through this process when I heard some noise outside the house (I was upstairs). At this point I should explain that I live in a fairly rough neighborhood and my house opens onto a passageway and sometimes stuff happens outside. Usually I would go to see what was going on but because I was doing this exclusive breath watching I didn't bother. A few moments later there was a bump on the front door (which I thought might be the post) followed by an almighty bang. By this time I had given up my meditation. I went downstairs to find the front door had been kicked open, the lock broken and the door split. I rushed outside to see two youths disappearing round the corner about 50m away. Obviously they were intent on breaking in but had run off when they heard me coming down. They only kicked the door in because I hadn't responded to the noise and the first knock - which were just a way of seeing if the house was empty. Obviously I have some fairly shit karma but that aside ... after all the fuss had died down I thought about how ironic it was that at the very moment of my conscious withdrawal from external stimuli, the outside world had so brutally intruded. Indeed if this had been a dream then you could have taken the whole thing as symbolic ... the inner and the outer ... two worlds but linked in some way ... anyway I thought I would share .... Cheers John

http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/chemistry-volatile-history/ I thought this was a very fascinating documentary. In the beginning it touches on alchemy, which I thought would be interesting for at least some people here. I think there is a lot to this story, if you can read between the lines. What it all took to discover and how great intellect often exists on the boundary of madness. I find that very interesting and relevant to spirituality. Watch how some people's ideas changed over time and what it took. Another thing that I find incredible is how hard people struggled against the unknown when it seemed like nothing would come of it. It's almost madness, or maybe it really is madness to look for something you really don't have any obviously rational reason to look for. Some of these reasons appeared later, but often at the time of the initial discovery, many leaps seem crazy and improbable. I have to admit that some time ago I would find all this completely at odds with spirituality. But I no longer see any contradictions. This is just one dream out of many possible dreams, as far as I am concerned.

05-29-10 between 11:00 and 15:00 The dream had A Glenn-Spirit Ape type bald approx 55 yo rugged redish tan guy w/ no facial hair. He was facing east, I south than west. I introduced myself and shook his hand, he swiftly locked the area between fingers 2-3 with his 2-3 like the vulcan peace sign type thing, he wore a ring with a flat oblong light green beige type stone. I got juice and it shifted my tongue to the left. I told him this and he said something that eludes me right now (line something, red shift?). Funny thing is this took place in the local dept store where my wife and I went when I woke up to get a new killin gas grill, and some top soil. Anyway one of the best rests in quite some time! Thanks to whoever, Robbie

Thanks GIH, Thought provoking isn't it? Isn't there a leaf that grows in the Andes highlands of Bolivia, Peru and Chile, that has been noticed by Westerners since the earliest days of the Spanish conquest? Not my cup of tea but an interesting thought anyway. Fact, 1454 Through the bull Romanus Pontifex, Pope Nicholas V authorises the king of Portugal to enslave all the Saracen and pagan peoples his armies may conquer. 1493 Pope Alexander VI authorises the King of Spain to enslave non-Christians of the Americas who are at war with Christian powers. I read somewhere the church approved abducting over 5 million West Africans to work in Brazil and beyond. Can't cite it right now, more than likely one of Nestor Capoeira's books. Glad these folk came away unscathed! " Every day sends future to past... every breath leaves me one less to my last" - Pull Me Under - Dream Theater Eternally learning, Rob

Actually I have no interest in women. The only reason I got into a serious relationship to start off with is she claimed to share my dreams and passions which she didn't. After we moved in together the subtle talk of babies began, condoms smell bad, the pill gives me acne, just pull out it will be ok, I took matter into my own hands got a vasectomy and she was gone before I healed from the operation. Since then I've pretty much kept to myself, I am not looking for even casual sex. If it gets thrown in my face I might accept it but I am not looking for relationships of any kind. The only way I would consider a relationship is if I were certain that the female truly shared my dreams and aspirations and I've only met one other person like that and she wasn't even serious about it, it was more her telling me what I wanted to hear so she could move in with me. Chang's master slaughtered an entire village women and children included and he's further up the transcendence ladder than almost 100% of the human population. I'd say morality has very little to do with it. I am certainly not very far along, Its been three years already and I haven't even filled my LDT, but I'm trying, and when I have saved enough to buy property I plan on working part time and living only with the bare minimum for survival. That is the only reason I continue to live, the dream that maybe one day I can transcend this world.

1) Pretty much any of B.K. Frantzis' books. Great mix of philosophy and practices- let's you "connect the dots" between what it says in something like the Tao Te Ching, how you can implement that in your practice, in your life, pretty much anything. 2) Qi Dao - Tibetan Shamanic Qigong. Simple and straightforward book. Practices might be too simple for anyone who's been into qigong for a long time, but I thought that the philosophical parts talked about in that book really clicked for me. I also do a lot of dream work, and liked how he talked about dreams. The entire book is available to view on google, thanks to the author very much for that, but I did purchase my own copy because I liked it so much Books I am in the process of reading but are great so far: 2) Qigong for Total Wellness, by Dr. Baolin Wu. 4) A Light Warrior's Guide to High Level Energy Healing, by Michael Lomax. Again, haven't completed either of these two, but they are excellent so far and I can't wait to get through the rest of them.

Sloppy, I was just giving some advice based on my experiences. If you are getting a vasectomy and want to keep your relationship don't let your partner know your sterile, that's pretty honest advice irregardless of ethics. My ex was aware of the vasectomy and left before I was even able to try it out once. My next girlfriend the relationship ended a day after she found out I was sterile. My advice is be prepared to keep your mouth shut about it if you have one, if you have ethical issues with that DON'T HAVE ONE. Perhaps you can find a relationship with a woman who already has lots of children, and honestly wants no more, in which case you might be able to be open about it. As to knee jerk reactions there really wasn't much alternative as she refused birth control, and other options. A vasectomy was something I had wanted anyway since age 18, It's nice not to be afraid of having the "guess what, we're pregnant" card pulled on you. Even though it turned out to be a bad investment, it's nice I don't have to lose sleep ever worrying about being a father in any future scenario. Ironically after having the vasectomy I have no further plans for any relationships sexual or otherwise. I really don't cohabitate well with other people, and prefer being a hermit. As I get older I find I have less and less in common with people, I live solely for my dream of transcendence that is the reason behind almost everything I do. Maybe if I find a woman as monomaniacally focused on that same goal then we could be partners however I'm not so optimistic.

I'm writing this raw, so I'll probably edit it a few times. I'm putting it in the Articles section because Burning Man has a very Tao Bums vibe to it and I encourage others to experience it. Last year. I opened an email account I no longer used and among the 1000 unread messages was 'ARE YOU READY, WE BURN IN 5 DAYS!!'. No I wasn't. I'd joined the Burning Man newsletter years ago. I'd always wanted to go, but life, marriage, kids and a twinge of fear always kept me away. Let me back up try to explain what Burning Man (BM) is. Its an event, an experimental city built in the middle of the Nevada desert for one week. People from around the world come to it (the biggest minority being Californians). In some ways the only rule is there is the Golden One. No commerce allowed, no buying or selling anything (except drinks(nonalcoholic) at the center tent. It is a gift economy and you are expected to generously share with others but also be self sufficient. The book 'Pronoia' writes about it glowingly as the best last bastion of human freedom. A place where people go to build there Utopia' How could a person not want to go there. A few warned me it was a just a place to do drugs, others disagreed, saying it was a place to discover yourself, find and live out your artistic passion. The theme for the year was Evolution. I mentioned it to my wife. She disregarded it. That night I dreampt of Burning Man, woke up the middle and was able to slip back into it. That's rare for me. I spent the next day thinking about the possible trip, fuming that I probably wouldn't go. That night I told my wife I really want to go. She looked at the calendar, said if I was going to go, this would be an ideal time since the kids just started school, but didn't have any activities. This was the end of 4 day (to go). I hadn't really expected to be doing it. I spent day 3 trying to decide if I should and if I did how I'd get there. From Chicago it was about 1700 miles. If I flew I couldn't bring all the camping equipment I needed, and if I bought it there I couldn't bring it back. Driving take 3 days. There were many Must-Have-Lists available on the internet. Most were at least 200 items long. I noticed woman's lists had 4 gallons of water a day, whereas men's had only 2 gallons. Obviously woman were wasting water on such things as bathing. If you want adventure you have to travel. Online I purchased a ticket, $300 to be picked up at will call in Nevada. I bought some camping supplies and headed off half assed with one day to go from Chicago to the alkaline desert 1700 miles away. I left at 5:00 in the morning. I woke my wife up and kissed her goodbye. Walking out the door I felt a little put off that she hadn't gotten out of bed and sat down for a good bye coffee or something. It was a long trip and I'd certainly driven her 30 miles to the airport whenever she'd needed to fly. My bit of anger and its questionable justification would weigh on my mind during the long drive. I'd stopped at the library earlier and took out some audio CD's for the trip. One of them was a long college Philosophy course. I made it through 2 hours of listening to 'What is Proof, before I answered 'What is Boredom' and took it out. I also had 9 hours of Adyashanti CD on True Meditation. This was more up my alley. There were some good concepts in it. He particularly had my number when he discussed how too many meditators would go directly into trance state and bypass the everyday mind, and that is a big mistake. True meditation is not the trance, it has to be found and reconciled within the confines of the everyday mind. I listened to radio, moving in and out of local stations every 30 minutes. Lots of fundamentalist Christian radio, I'd listened, it to give me something to focus and fume at. Driving through Iowa and Nebraska was visually boring. I made good time that day. I made it all the way to the Colorado border where I found a cheap hotel and stayed the night. Waking up I was still 1000 miles away and the BM festival was starting. Colorado was visually stimulating. I turned off the radio and drove with my thoughts, still on the same highway I took out of Chicago. I thought about where I was in life, what I'd accomplished and the mistakes I've made. I called home a few times to let them know I was fine and so the kids could update my location on map. The beauty of Colorado faded as I approached the desertlike scrub of Utah. There was occasional burst of beauty, and I think I saw a herd of wild gazelles. Once on the phone I passed a broken down car. I think it had Burn or Bust sign on it, but I was going 75 mph and didn't stop. That weighed on me. BM is supposed to be about community, joining a tribe, reigniting the caring impulse that civilization keeps dormant. I decided I wouldn't let it happen again. I made it over the Continental Divide, my ears popping from the heights and at times my hands a little too tight on the wheel. With the Sun on its way down I made it to Salt Lake City. I thought about staying there but pushed on, the drive so steeply downwards I coasted at highway speeds in neutral gear and moved toward the salt flats to the east. The flats were remarkable, they seemed like a desert w/ a few inches of salt water on top of it. Flakes of salt flew up like snow as you drove. The water gave way to flat hard desert. With the sunset I made it to Nevada and bill boards screamed, 'Come to our Casino', how could I resist. There were casino hotels and I walked through them and picked the cheapest. I treated myself to an extravagant buffet dinner, then gambled, losing $90 quickly. That bothered me, gambling is a losing affair, but it can be done more intelligently, money management being the key to playing longer. One section had betting on various horse races around the country. One race had 2 early disqualifications so only 4 horses were running, an unusually small number. Two were clearly favorites, but their pay offs were low. Still there's a certain bet where you pick the first and second place winner; that one had a 100% payoff. I made it and won. A little excitement before camping. There were late shows, strip clubs but I called it a night. This was in part a spiritual quest and I'd already strayed too much. I had missed day one of BM, maybe that was a good thing, 10's of thousand of people coming in meant lines of hours. Plus I'm not really into camping, much less in the desert. I got up early and headed out, 250 miles to go. Nevada was scrub and canyon. Ahead I saw a person walking the highway, they looked like something out of Mad Max. It was near desert and I weighed whether I should stop, maybe he was going to burning man? By the time I made the decision I was half a mile ahead of him. I stopped the car on the side of the road and waited. Thinking about it I was still a 100 miles away from BM. Maybe he wasn't heading there. He didn't have his thumb out. The Mad Max look came from a tarp he had rolled up and hitched across his shoulders, giving him wings that stretched out 2 feet to his sides. I waited for him, then got out of the car and walked down the highway to meet him. His name was Michael (like mine), he wasn't going to BM, he was heading, walking(!) to Southern California to spend the winter. He was a bum, maybe I should say tramp since that has less negative connotations. A long time ago I lived out of a back pack for months. I can respect the decision to live a life of freedom. He was in his 50's. He was heading in my direction so I offered him a ride, he excepted. He had few possession but had 4 multi gallon water bottles that must have weighed at least 30 pounds altogether. It was close to 90 degrees and he was hiking through the desertlike scrub with at least 40 pounds of weight. I enjoyed talking to him. He'd been homeless for years. He described how he survived in the desert, mostly eating ramen noodles. He told me about his family whom he hadn't seen in years. Where he'd camp. How the scrub was filled with tender that burned white hot. I told him a little about myself, we shared a dislike for radio preachers and right wingers. He seemed like a good sort. His life style was by choice, much freedom along w/ ascetic hardship. We drove about 60 or 70 miles, then his route went one way, mine went another. I dropped him off at a rest stop where the highway split. He didn't ask, but I gave him some bottles of gatorade and $40. He thanked me, it would keep him in ramen for a while. As he walked away I felt ashamed I didn't offer more. I'd spent that much on dinner the previous night, not to mention losing twice that in the casinos. I had a feeling I'd have learned more following him and his lifestyle for a week then I'd learn at Burning Man. Course the first lesson would be I wasn't tough enough to hike miles in the desert w/ a pack. For me the big question is whether there's a god in control and whether it gives a damn about us. I hope in deep meditation to get my answer. Til then its nice to have synchronicities like meeting another Michael who is so different yet similar to shake up my perceptions. I drove on, an hour later I thought I was at Burning Man but was only at the nearest town. BM was another 60 miles away and it was already afternoon. I filled up on water and uncharacteristically on beef jerky which I'd started to enjoy. I was finally off the highway I'd been on for two days. The rest of the route would be on country roads through an Indian reservation. Along the road were little stands offering churros and tacos that looked good. I was now part of an increasingly long caravan of cars, trucks and RV's and didn't want to leave the road. In the distance tall dust devils spun like mini tornadoes. It got slower and slower as we approached, finally queing up in one of a dozen car lines before the entrance. There was a pull off for people who had tickets at will call I took it. I got out of my car and stepped onto the alkaline flat. It was 90 degrees with hot wind whipping up white dust to near white out conditions. This might not be as easy I thought. Goggles were one of the 100 things I didn't bring from the Must-Have list. I got in a relatively short line, gave a person at the booth my name, and got my shiny ticket and itinerary booket on what was going on (&where) each day. I got back in my car, drove back into line and cued up for the initiation ritual that newby virgins got before entering BM. When I got to the head of the line I was greeted by two men in dresses. They were the volunteers who got people ready and psyched for the BM lifestyle. They asked me a few questions, went over the rules and tried to give me an understanding of the layout of the city I was about to enter. There were free boutiques inside where I could get proper clothes. They told me BM would have about 45,000 people. They asked if I had any drugs in the car. Had me scream a few affirmations, then scream them again louder. Finally I hit the entry bell a few times signaling a BM virgin was joining the tribe. I rolled into Black Rock City, this years BM. The dust storm was still going on. Despite the dust the ground was rock hard. The city was round, shaped like a bike wheel with roads A-Z leading to the center and others labeled with evolutionary names A through Z circling out in rings. Half was the inhabited, the other half was the Playa, open land containing huge art projects, like the giant 3 story Temple and Wooden Burning Man Statue. I had no idea where to go,but spotted a few R.V.'s parked in a U shape. I stopped next to them and asked the people nearby if I could park there. They said no problem. So I did 2 smart things. I used there RV's to protect me against the dusty wind, and when I set up my tent I drove over the bottom tarp so it couldn't get blown away. Setting up the damn tent in the dust, heat, rock hard ground was not fun. I was a poor dust cropper surrounded by fancy folk who lived in RV's with amenities like air conditioning, hot food, water and something called electricity. I introduced myself. The 3 couples had known each other for a while and it was not there first BM. I'm 45, they were a few years older then me and from California. They seemed very nice. We took a group picture. The woman to my side faced me and turned to pose with her leg raised and thigh on my lap. I'm just a simple Midwesterner, and generally we're protective of our personal space, but being a squatter means getting along and I didn't complain. I pulled up a chair and indulged in their wine as a dust storm blew around us. As we talked a naked woman pushing a naked man in a wheel barrow came by. Another sign we weren't in Kansas anymore. One of the RV'ers grabbed a camera and the naked couple graciously posed for them. Not that I'd consider them photo worthy as they were older then we were and perhaps a bit more uh rounded. Still they seemed happy and as long they were smart enough to cover up w/ sun screen god bless'em. The dust died down and I went exploring. There was a post apocalyptic vibe to the place, but an optimistic one. Like, the end is here, lets party. In the vast city there RV's, tents, and fantastic make shift structures. Domes covered with beautiful multicolored clothes, others topped with white styrofoam like oversized igloos. The inner areas had group camps that were little city's within themselves. People were in unusual states of dress and undress. Like my greeters there was a strong contingent of cross dressing around. Later I'd see there were several free shops for picking up colorful garments. As an Aikidoist I've spent years running around in a long black skirts (hakama), but as a man I need pockets, thus never really considered any fancy garbs or going without. The bicycles going up and down the hard clay streets were amazing, decorated as insects or hot rods. There was a group there armed with blow torches who would elongate bikes fronts making them chopper style. One monster bike was a 4 person take off on a Hummer, complete w/ 4 wide tires and orange paint. The mutant vehicles were even more amazing. Many had space themes, I saw star wars hover machines (had wheels), Apollo capsules, a motorized couch run steered by the joy stick on the side. These were amazing, but they were nothing compared to what would come out at night. I walked to the tent at the main center of the city. It was a huge open aired circus tent. They were 3 stages in it, not counting the spacious center. Each stage had couches and chairs around them. The center had a few couches, but mainly pillows of all sorts. In the center was a soft 6 foot ball covered in teddy bears. Not only am I not making this up, but the giant teddy ball is indicatative of the playful spirit of the event. Young kids were roll it around. Older daredevils would leap on top of it and get spun off. The tent had the only commerce around. They sold coffee, iced coffee and a gatoradelike drink. The first few days it wasn't horribly crowded, the acts in the tent were generally excellent. Most of musicians were professional and gave out free CD's after they sang. One talented folk singer said at the end of her act 'I have CD's for $10 ..' and was immediately questioned and booed, til she said 'whoops forgot where I was, I have FREE CD's for you.' The tent was filled inside and out w/ art work. Drawings some of them interactive, some large impressive statues, many w/ electronics, free coloring books and write in books. A third of the time there were classes taking up all or part of the center space. One was tantric dance, I think the group was connected to TantraNova which has a location in Chicago. They showed an intimate circular dance where the bodies are always in contact, rolling around each other. They encouraged people to join in. I was tempted, but I didn't want to scare anyone off by my invitation. It was enough to sip iced coffee and watch. Always the chance being approached by middle aged slightly over weight male is not a girls dream. Though maybe it is, and some girl somewhere is writing now about the fat gent who got away. Later there would be capoeira demonstrations there. Capoeira is probably the most entertaining martial arts to watch, with its music, danceforms and dynamic kicks. There were American showing off what they knew, but when a small South American guy joined in, the difference was night and day. Knowing how to play vs Mastery. I spent the evening walking around. Near the center hub were the big groups w/ special projects. Some had theater, bars (one nudes only), the hang out, which was filled w/ a dozen hammocks. I discovered Black Rock city was only half filled w/ tents, the other half was the Playa, a vast area filled with unbelievable things. Major pieces of art, the giant burning man sacrifice, the 3 story built-to-burn temple, lots of absolutely mind blowing stuff. We're talking full size (25 ft) rocket (which would later be exploded), 14 foot computer controlled rubic cube, giant beautiful statues of woman w/ chains for hair that would burst into flames at night. A freakin sledding hill made w/ green plastic carpet. You'd climb up it helped by rope, then grab some corrugated boxes and use them to slide down, usually into elaborate pillow structures people on the bottom would make. At night the big mutant vehicles came out. Huge galleons based within double decker buses. Many fire breathing custom vehicles of all sizes, blowing fire. Sci fi, fantasy, vehicles of all kinds represented. No cars were allowed, only what was strange and they had to be certified. It was a freaky overload world there. I was tired, went to bed at 12:00, woke up at 3:00 and headed back to the central tent. Lots of people there, one or two musicians playing. In the center court jugglers held sway, many w/ bolo's practicing and working out routines. During the big burns the balls would be lit on fire and they needed to be precise. I talked to one guy who said he'd been up 42 hours cause theres so much to see. I believe him. I'd only seen a fraction of the place and it was amazing. All around the tent were people who were crashed. I headed back to the tent and fell asleep. I was woken a few times by loud sounds, horns, the bright morning light. I tried to keep sleeping but there was no way. The nearest washrooms, portapotties were a half mile away. I had my portable bike and headed to them then back to the main tent. I got the low down on classes and exhibits that were going on. The days kinda ran together. It probably didn't help that I spent so much time in bars. Nearby my tent some guys had set up a small bloody mary bar. I rarely passed them without getting a homemade drink. It only had 5 seats, usually had an empty one. They served one drink, gourmet bloody marys. I've never been into them but I know quality when I taste it. Each drink was made by hand, including real horseradish and bitters, premium vodka, no mix was used. The best part of the drink was the pickled asparagus. For me they tasted best light on the alcohol and spices, two asparagus stalks please. A larger more social bar I liked was the Koi bar, large and beautifully decorated w/ gold fish swirling around on top. Again we're in the desert camping and there's this beautiful bar set up in the open. The bartender and people there were very friendly and they served a variety of drinks and if your timing was right, food!. Again not too crowded. I think it may have been a gay leaning bar, but I have no local sense of gaydar so I'm not really sure. One funny episode happened there. I was drinking and scrounging some bacon sandwiches from them. A few of he guys thought it would be funny to bring them down the road to the PETA group. Note they weren't exactly PETA, but they were very close and had a fairly large campsite and exhibits that you saw as walked past. As you walked past they had pictures of farm animals which read 'I'm a Mother, I'm a Sister, I Feel'. I'd talked to one of the girls there about my son who is a vegetarian, she gave me some good pointers and let me know she'd be spending the night naked wrapped in plastic in a mock food container. She did this to protest the meat industry, god bless the young. Anyway the bar group forgot they wouldn't be heckling simple vegetarians, they'd be pissing off militant vegans. They came rushing back 15 minutes later with stories about how they almost got there asses kicked by the crazies there. I loved it. I later saw the young woman in her performance art display. Naked, wrapped in plastic in a large faux meat packaging. Looking at her you didn't think Meat Bad, rather Woman Good, when do they unwrap her? Another favorite bar was Sharkies. Lots of shade, nice people. Sharkie made only one drink a day, in 5 gallon batches, he had a strict policy of bring your own cup. Good stuff, pretty strong. One day it would be Zombies, the next XXX Pain Killers, though I never thought his drinks were quite as strong as advertised. In the middle of the day, through in sweltering heat, nothing tasted better. And bless him, if the timing was right he gave away hot sandwiches. One afternoon there was an under tone of possible violence. Some of the 'regulars' were talking about a young tough who was threatening and causing trouble the day before, a real asshole. As soon they stopped a biker type walked into the veranda. Bald, tattooed, sleeveless t-shirt, by the looks I could tell this was the guy they were talking about. There was a moment of silence then one the group, a Jerry Garcia type, walks up and says 'How you doing, whats up..Let me get you a drink..'. A perfect preemptive move. Totally defuses the situation and its back to mellow. One of things discussed was people slipping drugs, Mickies, into drinks. I was under the assumption that it was a BM urban myth, but they had some reports of people taking drinks and either passing out or getting wiped out for a few hours. The consensus was these were douche bag pranksters, very rare, but it was a reality. Another concern moving through the bars at the other extreme were police stings on serving the under aged. Apparently some places were being closed down w/ the owners facing heavy fines. This was unprecedented in BM past. Once or twice I was offered drugs, I turned them down. I have enough vices without adding to them. A very cool bar that I didn't visit too often, but was fascinated by was the S & M Wine Bar. They played fabulous funny music. I wish I had there play list, every song was raunchy and hilarious. Before ordering a drink you rolled 3 dice and had to do something sexual and degrading to get it. Things like 12 push ups topless, or bottomless, so many spankings w/ a paddle. I noticed the woman ahead of me had to roll the dice, so did the girl behind me. I was not asked, ah to be old, but I did get my merlot . There were hundreds of organized groups at BM. There was a Jewish group that sponsored meditation, Shabbat dinner etc. I tried to make it to there events but never found them, or got side tracked. In one of my searches for them I found a fabulous Denver group. Their campsite included small wooden houses, a deck for yoga, a nice bar. One of there charities/art forms was free albeit naked showers, it attracted some knockout woman. As I walking past them admiring the set up I was invited in by one of the leaders, another Michael. We talked and drank. They also offered free pastie any woman who cared and dared. The pastie of the day had little propellers on them. Think of nerdy beanie caps for nipples. As we talked a well endowed woman came in and Michael painted her nipple with a latex glue and capped it w/ a beanie pasty. A female Denverite came by and pooed, pooed and said he used the wrong size, a medium when the nipple needed a large. But the woman was happy w/ it or didn't like the thought of it being pulled off. Another Denverite put out a sign that said free hand massages for the next 2 hours. I let them know I had experience (true, 10 week course CSMT) in massage and I'd be happy to act as one of the masseurs. I was accepted. We used moisturizing lotion instead of oil. My third customer was a topless beauty who went by Gaia, she was so appreciative of the hand massage I offered to do her feet. As I cleaned them and lotioned her up she groaned loudly. By the end of the massage she was motionless and her chair was moved away to a shady spot. I can't take full credit but sometimes the right technique at the right time can have that effect. I gained a reputation for massaging so well that ladies passed out. After that business was good. My next customer was a full body paint job. She was sunset and flowers from neck to toe, Gaugin meets tequila sunrise. She was a beautiful hairless canvas. I was thorough, professional and loved every inch. We don't get to do these things in the Midwest. Nearby the Denver site was the Purple Haze a busy bar and dance site. It had non stop misters that cooled off the dancers. It rocked, but I was a little old for it and felt out phase with it. Same thing with the late night Raves they had. A couple hundred people standing close and pulsing. I tried but I wasn't in the same spirit so moved on. One amazing event was the full size Mad Max Thunderdome. If you didn't see the movie it was a post apocalyptic place where people fought to the death. Physically it was a large, a 40 or 50 foot geodesic dome. People climbed all over the structure to see the action inside. If they fell from the top, they'd be needing an ambulance or morgue. Two contestants were strapped into harnesses w/ long rubber cords. They were given a choice of soft padded weapons, swords, two pillowed staffs and the like. A tall leather clad dominatrix was the announcer. The two 'warriors' sometimes guy/guy girl/girl or small guy/ large woman would be pulled backwards til they were stretched out at opposite ends, then let go to smash into each other in midair. Then some not so playful combat would begin. With the bungie cord harness they could do monster jumps and midair flips. When combat bogged down the contestants would be separated and relaunched at each other. Again something we don't have here. The spectators, particularly those balancing on top were at a greater risk then the fighters. Each night it drew a huge crowd. So big it was hard to get a good view. The fighting was fierce, I wouldn't want to be a contestant, not that I was asked. Other Oddities. During the day watering trucks sprayed the streets in an attempt to keep the dust down. Naked people followed them trying to get a quick shower. One night in the main tent a group did the play Godspell. Very professional, great voices and staging; they must have been done it together before. It was unusual to see topless disciples and Jesus bald and covered in blue paint. One group had a theater which showed comically redubbed movies. I watched Harry Potter w/ a hilarious over dubbing. Other places had cunning psychedelic light shows. One tent had giant mega-oversized furniture as there art. There was the naked man bike ride which attracted a few dozen (not me, not enough sunscreen). There was the bunny invasion which had a hundred or so rabbit dressed people rush the main stage w/ signs like down with war up with carrots. One Night in Black Rock. On my third night there was a major burn. Smaller then the famed Burning Man effigy & the large temple, but it was still a house sized bond fire. Before it was lit the area was cordoned off. Fire dancers came out and performed within the restricted area. Most had exotic costumes and used lit bolos, balls of flame on rope. A few used batons. They were daring and talented, drawing arced pictures in the dark. When they stopped the building was lit. The dancers had whet our appetite for fire and this was a 10 course meal. The fire spread and grew and grew. Those of us in the front row were forced to move back. The fire reached up 30, 40 feet. I found the flames on at the bottom particularly fascinating. The intense heat caused waves to ripple along the bottom, as though the fire was liquid. It was like a window into another elemental universe. The intense heat shortened the burns life, it was consumed within an hour. I headed off into dark toward the main tent a mile or two away, in a certain reverie from the event. I stopped at one of the fire art works. An out door fire pit, made of iron and cut to allow light to shine through intricate symbols. It wasn't large and there was a pile of fire wood next to it. I found a log and sat on it and watched the flames. There was a poet reading and a family listening. The man I took to be the father was short, trim, wearing a dark leather vest and an outfit like a subdued bull fighter. The woman was taller, dark hair, open shirt, leather skirt. There were two kids. A boy maybe 11 and a younger sister of about 7. They had an Adams Family jibe to them, the kids less so. The woman was enraptured by the poem being read. Literally swaying to the words as if they were music. I found the poem a bit trite and cliched. Finishing the poet bowed and walked away. The woman was still clearly in awe of it. I told her 'You are the one who makes the poem great. It was was your listening that gave it power.' I meant it, the poem didn't effect me, but watching her reaction to it did. She smiled appreciatively. The man, I assume her husband was doing tai chi inspired movements toward the fire. Like the fire in the pit was a dance partner, pulling and pushing towards it. Franz Bardons descriptions of Fire Salamanders came to mind. The boy emulated his father, but the power of the movement wasn't as evident. It's not hard to fake Tai Chi, but it can't be done balanced on one leg. There were movements he did on one leg that had flow and precision. I found his moves as interesting as his wifes reaction to the poem. When he ended I complimented him on the power of his movements and he bowed graciously. Here and now they were in there element, I don't know how people like this live in the outside world. I hope they had there nitch and thrived. Before they walked away the mother gave me a small leather pouch. I thanked her and wished I had something to give in return. They left and I put it in my pocket without opening it. I continue to sit, the log making a good zafu. A young woman came by. She asked me if I was the Guardian of the Flames? (Sounds like something out of a Ghostbuster movie, but honestly it happened) I said no. Seemingly ignoring my answer she asked if she could throw some rose petals into the cauldron? I said 'Yes'. We talked a little bit and she went away. I threw some logs into the fire to keep it burning. A couple comes by, they begin to kiss by the fire. I stop them and move them away. The woman's long dress was getting dangerously close to the flames. I guess I was a Guardian of the Flames of a sort. Classes. I just found the Burning man booklet that was given when you got your ticket. Here is a sample of classes, Repeating Tues Events. Tasty NOodles 1-5 @ Camp OObleck -Rock away music dancing & cooling Mists. DarWeenie Camp 1-3 New Age fun, food frolic w/ weenies, lemonade & WhoreShoe (??)toss Burning Tarot Readings- Miss Magdalen read better w/ chocolate, wine and Whiskey. So You Want to Tie People - A workshop Energy & Body Work Conspiracy Theory Discussion Group So You Think Your Hot- Chili tastings Bloodade n' Lube Confessional - (no idea) but there were supplies for necro hobbies Sharpie Body Art Salon Spontaneous story creation Bondage Rides (I quote) -Learn to fly! Explore the unique experience of being bound in rope and suspended in md-air. Become a work of art, or just come of the endorphins. Acoustic Rock and Folk Jam. These were pretty typical events. There was lots of Yoga(all types, some nude), kite flying, physics discussions, David Deida's work discussion, 20 or 30 classes a day listed in the What Where When booklet, w/ many more unlisted. I walked by a tent and was steered into a class on Kotodama, sacred sounds. I've always been had an interest in it. Good class, it had about 35 people sitting in a circle, less about chanting and more vowel work. Close to what I've done in the past under the Abulafia kabalic system. The teacher had some interesting points on how to aim sound that I'd never seen covered before. I don't buy into the New Age 'The Secret' philosophy, but there was a course on it, so I thought why not. If you only learn about what you agree with you become one sided. I'd got 3 important lessons from it. The large tent seemed very crowded so I decided to listen outside. The teacher kept encouraging more people to come in, when they hesitated she'd say this is a class on creating abundance, of course there was room. So they walked in and were crammed like sardines. During her lecture a nearby camp site started playing loud music. It must have been interfering with the lecture. I walked over and asked if them to turn it down. They did, but no one in the tent had come out to take action. They were either willing to suffer with it or trying to wish it away. So lesson number one was action is better then wishes. I wasn't the only one outside listening. I started talking to a person who'd just arrived. Soon people were staring at me with disapproval. I'd been creating a disturbance as bad as the one I'd solved. So lesson 2 is, without mindfulness you end up the cause the problems you despise. I would have shut up much sooner if the people around me had gotten my attention w/ a nudge. People aren't mind readers. This brought me back to the funk I was in when I left for the trip. The fact my wife hadn't given me a better send off. I didn't ask her too. If I had said come downstairs, lets have coffee before I go, I'm sure she would have. Too often we expect others to be mind readers; lesson number 3 is don't blame the people for not doing things when you don't ask. The universe requires a little bit of boldness. The night was rule by mutant vehicles. Moving Houses, Pirate Galleons, Fire breathing dragons, all manner of dressed up tricked out vehicles moved around the dark playa. So many it was dangerous to be without several light sources wrapped around yourself. I was able to hitch onto one craft and sat next to a group of overage frat boys who were passing out margaritas. Here's a BM hint, always have a glass available, in many situations its strictly BYOCup. Most of the large floats belonged to groups. I was on one and was asked to leave because it was group only at a certain time. Still, grabbing a ride on one is the best way to view the playa. There was double decker bus parked deep in the playa I climbed on, but it was empty. Maybe broken down. I enjoyed the view from the top. The figure of the Burning Man was like our Sphinx, it was covered with lights now, when its two massive arms were raised it meant the burn was going to happen. The 3 story Temple prominent on the horizon, like the Man it too would burn. As I watched a young woman dressed only in a loin cloth got on the bus and climbed to the top. She danced to the sound of distant music. In the past days I'd learned how to look at naked woman. Not to gawk or look away, but to appreciate them. Show admiration without lust. In the high desert alone on the bus stop, she danced I watched. It was a a magical moment, surreal. After a few minutes she hugged me and went away. For all the amazing moments I still had bouts of loneliness and melancholy. The burn out factor is high, everything get to be too much. Too much sensory overload. The heat drained, the high altitude sun sapped, the cold night air refreshed then chilled. I enjoyed connecting to people, but they'd come and go. I missed my family, my mundania. I left after the morning after the Big Burn. I had enjoyed the smaller one more. There was an edginess I had I couldn't get rid of, it was time to come home. The trip home was filled with suspense, murder and the super natural compliments of Stephen King. I'd taken Duma Key from the library and enjoyed all 15 discs and 17 hours of it. Burning Man may be this nations greatest unknown treasure. I'd recommend people try it. Go there with an open mind. Its a place where you can find or create anything. The gift economy part is wonderful. I was given authentic BM dog tags, various art work, bumper stickers, a vial of playa dust. The Adams-like family I met, when I opened the pouch later in my tent it contained an arrow head. I don't think I've exaggerated my experiences there. I've written about drinking, but in truth it would be rude to have more then 2 drinks at one place at one time, you don't want to over impose on peoples generosity. I'll often nurse a drink for a while. Maybe at times I over imposed, but in most of the time I was a good guest, shared my music via Ipod and what small rations I had with others. I made gallons of herbal ice tea and made it available to all. Tried to inform people of what was going on where. Things to know: Bring a bike, preferably a small cheap no speed. Burning Man is miles wide and you don't want to spend hours hiking. Bring a lock too. For the same reason try to camp in the middle. Closer to the main tent is better. I find tent living sucks, on the Burning Man newsletter there is the name of a place in California that rents small 15 to 21 foot mini RV's. That would be nice. If you have a truck with a commercial name on it, be aware it must be covered up, no logos allowed. Another perhaps more ideal way to experience BM is join a group, the big ones have kitchens (private meal plans), showers, comraderie etc. I was amazed at the intricacy of one cavernous site. I was told the builders were Hollywood set designers. One Burner told me the best way to start out was to sign up as volunteer and stay in Hushville, a quiet region. My area was relatively quiet, but we still had yocals blaring loud music as they sped by in mutant vehicles at all hours. I wish'd I'd brought goggles. I did pick up a sleep mask and air plugs on the way there, they helped a little. You need a collection of glow necklaces, flashlights and headlamps. The night playa is dark and dangerous with moving vehicles of all shapes and sizes. You need to be clearly visible. A few years ago a woman was run over while lying down star gazing alone on the playa. Another dark side was leaving BM. A few miles out there was accident a car off the road onto a ditch. Further down was very bad one, I think it was head on collision by people trying to pass on a one lane road. An hour later on the highway I passed a third bad accident. Michael

check out the amounts of Benzene that would be released via burning or use of chemicals. also interesting the amount of benzene adrift in the air from volcanic eruptions.. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benzene[/color]"]Benzene "Glutathione seems to play an important role by protecting against benzene induced DNA breaks and it is being identified as a new biomarker for exposure and effect" "Here Kekulé spoke of the creation of the theory. He said that he had discovered the ring shape of the benzene molecule after having a reverie or day-dream of a snake seizing its own tail (this is a common symbol in many ancient cultures known as the Ouroboros or Endless knot" Benzene used in sleep aids and anti anxiety drugs and accumulated heavy in the public water supplies causes: "A 1999–2005 Australian police survey of detainees reported preliminary findings that self-reported users of benzodiazepines were less likely than non-user detainees to work full-time and more likely to receive government benefits, use methamphetamine or heroin and be arrested or imprisoned" LINK Louisiana's ambient air standard for the VOC benzene, for example, is 3.76 ppb, while its standard for methylene chloride is 61.25 ppb. Long-term exposure to airborne benzene has been linked to cancer. Air testing results show VOC concentrations far above these state standards. On May 6, for example, the EPA measured VOCs at levels of 483 ppb. The highest levels detected to date were on April 30, at 3,084 ppb, following by May 2, at 3,416 ppb. We don't have any third-party verification that this evaluation is correct, but the information comes from the Gulf Oil Disaster Recovery Group, which correctly informed us that BP's underwater dome failed in advance of the oil company's announcement. If the air quality news is true, BP better be prepared to shell out many millions more in damages. Benzene is the active ingredient in all benzine drugs. The manufacturers attach other molecule so it will attach to specific receptors and to re-patent the same old benzene ring molecule under a new name. When the ring is bound to a fluorine, bromine or chlorine ion it attaches to calcifying tissue like the pineal gland.

Thanks Forest. Nice transition to an almost OT. Maybe I should move it to Trunk's thread. The "unconscious." I've been looking at this one and I'm starting to think it's really not as simple as is sometimes made out. Nor is it necessarily Freudian;-) I haven't come across any really great books (apart from Freud and Jung) on it either, so would enjoy some recommendations. If cognition is often (always?) selective (now based on what exactly would be a good discussion) then I was wondering if what we might commonly term "unconscious" is really just a sort of a reverse understanding of the things left out by our cognition? Or is it something else? And as conditioning conditions our cognition (and we desire to hang on to it whatever it is because otherwise we can feel very uncertain and we don't enjoy that feeling necessarily) then perhaps many more things get left out? Add language and people who are bigger and ostensibly "smarter" than you and who tell you what you're "really" seeing and we've got a winner. Except our awareness is still acting all the time, so we end up with a sort of a "knowing" despite the conditioning. And this in itself can cause more suffering, not because there is no us, but because we know what's going on but we don't (want to?) believe it (ok, maybe that's too strong?) So we make stuff up about it. Often about other people, often about ourselves. Or we let other people make stuff up about it, or ourselves. Before I lose the OP topic. Dreaming would seem to me to be one of those activities that might help us shed more light on what's going on in the waking state. Why we remember some dreams and not others. To actually be conscious inside a dream, knowing it is one is another feat I've only read about. And it seemed that this actually caused problems with the person's waking life because of the techniques they used to drop into the lucid dream state. Maybe this is where the line about the butterfly dreaming he was someone else comes in? Was it a joke about crazy meditation students;-) ?

I don't think so. Do you remember what you had for breakfast forty nine days ago? No, but does that mean it was unconscious? Or if at first you don't recall a dream, and then you do, does it suddenly shift from unconscious to conscious? Stephen LaBerge has done intensive scientific testing on dreaming subjects. Measuring brain activity and correlating this to dreaming, he estimates we have many dreams in a night.

Is a dream that is not remembered a dream at all? Doesn't the definition of a dream imply that? Could it be that those that are not remembered are "unconscious brain activity" that happens all the time? Maybe the waking state draws us very far away from that activity, and when we sleep and thus it doesn't, some part of us connects with that activity.

featuring Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche - one of the monks involved in the groundbreaking project conducted by the Waisman Laboratory for Brain Imaging and Behavior at Wisconsin University to examine the effects of meditation on the brains of advanced meditators. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=793eUxsxOOM&feature=related

Well,from personal expirience-meditation is a tool that helps declutter the mind. As the time passes it may become a constant habit through the day and night. Becouse these meditation rhytams go deeper and deeper into psyche and changing the personality s/he was born(adopted) with.It will affect all aspects of life. Which includes dreams. This means more clarity or feeling natural in a dream state,less sweat/thought/emotion processing. That is how it is in my universe.