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I am on the verge of lucid dreaming. The other night I dreamed that I was dreaming. My understanding is that this dream signifies the beginning of my subconscious becoming aware of itself. Now, despite not having lucid dreams yet, I have reeceived some very deep and significant messages in my dreams.

thanks! I look forward to any input. I will update in the morning if I do indeed dream. In the past I gained weightlessness/short periods of soaring in the clouds and the view is absolutely magnificent. I can see a city underneath, the funny thing is the city is never set in the same chronological time period. Also quite often I jump over large bodies of water. Then there is the talking cat fish who is often harsh, but offers advice that applies in the real world. Just a few thoughts...

...................... Hug to you from me, sun, for all we feel. I'm glad you havent had problems with hatred. It's a weird, complicated yet pure and exhausting emotion to suffer. I felt it as like a seemingly never ending ream of hot chewing gum that hurt a lot, strangling my heart. Purging it was actually quite quick, but the sensation of purging brought with it a sense that it was taking soooo long to get it out of me... strong feelings seem so HUGE, we tend to image them as potentially bigger than us. ( Hence people dream of tsunamis when they are losing control of their emotional floodgates..) I have the sense that a lot of what I was carrying was family of origin constellation, unexpressed by others, floated to the surface via me. Ancestral Qi!

THE TAO TE CHING (SLANG VERSION) ----- Part One TAO (The Way) 1. If you can talk about it, it ain't Tao. If it has a name, it's just another thing. Tao doesn't have a name. Names are for ordinary things. Stop wanting stuff; it keeps you from seeing what's real. When you want stuff, all you see are things. Those two sentences mean the same thing. Figure them out, and you've got it made. 2. If something looks beautiful to you, something else must be ugly. If something seems good, something else must seem bad. You can't have something without nothing. If no job is difficult, then no job is easy. Some things are up high because other things are down low. You know you're listening to music because it doesn't sound like noise. All that came first, so this must be next. The Masters get the job done without moving a muscle and get their point across without saying a word. When things around them fall apart, they stay cool. They don't own much, but they use whatever's at hand. They do the work without expecting any favors. When they're done, they move on to the next job. That's why their work is so damn good. 3. If you toss compliments around freely, people will waste your time trying to impress you. If you give things too much value, you're going to get ripped off. If you try to please people, you'll just make them really angry. The Master leads by clearing the crap out of people's heads and opening their hearts. He lowers their aspirations and makes them suck in their guts. He shows you how to forget what you know and what you want, so nobody can push you around. If you think you've got the answers, he'll mess with your head. Stop doing stuff all the time, and watch what happens. 4. How much Tao is there? More than you'll ever need. Use all you want, there's plenty more where that came from. You can't see Tao, but it's there. Damned if I know where it came from. It's just always been around. 5. Tao's neutral: it doesn't worry about good or evil. The Masters are neutral: they treat everyone the same. Lao Tzu said Tao is like a bellows: It's empty, but it could help set the world on fire. If you keep using Tao, it works better. If you keep talking about it, it won't make any sense. Be cool. 6. Tao is an eternal mystery, and everything starts with Tao. Everybody has Tao in them. They just have to use it. 7. Tao never stops. Why? Because it isn't trying to accomplish anything. The Masters hang back. That's why they're ahead of the game. They don't hang on to things. That's how they manage to keep them. They don't worry about what they can't control. That's why they're always satisfied. 8. "Doing the right thing" is like water. It's good for all living things,and flows without thinking about where it's going ...just like Tao. Keep your feet on the ground. Remember what's important. Be there when people need you. Say what you mean. Be prepared for anything. Do whatever you can, whenever it needs doing. If you don't compare yourself to others, nobody can compare to you. 9. If you drink too much, you get drunk. The engine won't start if you're always tinkering with it. If you hoard wealth, you fall into its clutches. If you crave success, you succumb to failure. Do what you have to do, then walk away. Anything else will drive you nuts. 10. Can you hold on to your ego and still stay focused on Tao? Can you relax your mind and body and brace yourself for a new life? Can you check yourself and see past what's in front of your eyes? Can you be a leader and not try to prove you're in charge? Can you deal with what's happening and let it happen? Can you forget what you know and understand what's real? Start a job and see it through. Have things without holding on to them. Do the job without expectation of reward. Lead people without giving orders. That's the way you do it. 11. A wheel has spokes, but it rotates around a hollow center. A pot is made out of clay or glass, but you keep things in the space inside. A house is made of wood or brick, but you live between the walls. We work with something, but we use nothing. 12. Sight obscures. Noise deafens. Desire messes with your heart. The world messes with your mind. A Master watches the world but keeps focused on what's real. 13. Winning can be just as bad as losing. Confidence can mess you up just as much as fear. What does "winning can be just as bad as losing" mean? If you're down, you might be able to get up. But if you're up, you can get knocked down real fast. Don't worry about the score, just do what you have to do. What does "confidence can mess you up just as much as fear" mean? Fear can keep you from getting the job done, but confidence can get you in over your head. Walk tall, but don't get cocky. Know your limits, and nothing can ever hold you back. Deal with what you can. The rest will follow. 14. You can't see Tao, no matter how hard you look. You can't hear Tao, no matter how hard you listen. You can't hold on to Tao, no matter how hard you grab. But it's there. It's in you, and it's all around you. Remember that. 15. The ancient Masters were damn impressive. They were deep. Real deep. Words can't even begin to describe how deep they were. You can only talk about how they acted. They were careful, like a man walking on thin ice. They were cautious, like a soldier behind enemy lines. They were polite, like a guest at a party. They moved quickly, like melting ice. They were as plain as a block of wood. Their minds were as wide as a valley, and their hearts as clear as spring water. Can you wait for that kind of openness and clarity before you try to understand the world? Can you hold still until events have unfolded before you do the right thing? When you act without expectations, you can accomplish great things. 16. Keep your head clear. Stay calm. Watch as everything happens around you. Everything reverts to its original state, which was nothing. And when something becomes nothing, it gets right with Tao. If you don't understand that, you're going to screw up somewhere down the line. If you figure it out, you'll always know what to do. If you get right with Tao, you won't be afraid to die, because you know you will. 17. When a Master takes charge, hardly anybody notices. The next best leader is obeyed out of love. After that, there's the leader obeyed out of fear. The worst leader is one who is hated. Trust and respect people. That's how you earn their trust and respect. The Masters don't give orders; they work with everybody else. When the job's done, people are amazed at what they accomplished. 18. When people lose touch with Tao, they start talking about "righteousness" and "sanctity." When people forget what's true, they start talking about "self-evident truths." When people have no respect for one another, they start talking about "political correctness" and "family values." When the nation is unstable, people start talking about "patriotism." 19. Get rid of sanctity. People will understand the truth and be happier. Get rid of morality. People will respect each other and do what's right. Get rid of value and profit. People will not steal if they do not desire. If that's not possible, go to Plan B: Be simple. Be real. Do your work as best you can. Don't think about what you get for it. Stay focused. Get rid of all your crap. 20. Don't spend too much time thinking about stupid stuff. Why should you care if people agree or disagree with you? Why should you care if others find you attractive or not? Why should you care about things that worry others? Call bullcrap on all that. Let other people get worked up and try to enjoy themselves. I'm not going to give myself away. A baby doesn't know how to smile, but it's still happy. Let other people get excited about stuff. I'm not going to hang on to anything. I'm not going to fill my mind with ideas. I'm not going to get stuck in a rut, tied down to any one place. Other people are clever; I guess I must be stupid. Other people have goals; I guess I must be aimless. Like the wind. Or the waves. I'm not like other people. I'm getting right with Tao. 21. A Master stays focused on Tao. Nothing else, just Tao. But you can't pin Tao down-- you can't even see it! How are you supposed to focus on something like that? Just remember what Lao Tzu said: The universe began as a void. The void fills with images. Images lead to the creation of objects. And every object has Tao at its core. That's the way it's been, ever since the world began. How can I be so sure? I just know. 22. Learn how to stand still if you want to go places. Get on your knees if you want to stand tall. If you want wisdom, empty your mind. If you want the world, renounce your riches. Push yourself until you're exhausted, and then you'll find your strength. You can go far if you don't have anything to carry. The more you acquire, the less you can really see. A Master takes this to heart and sets an example for everybody else. She doesn't show off so people take notice. She's not out to prove anything so people take her at her word. She doesn't brag about herself but people know what she's done. She hasn't got an agenda but people know what she can do. She's not out to get anybody so nobody can get in her way. "Learn how to stand still if you want to go places." That's not as crazy as it sounds. Get in touch with Tao, and you'll see what I mean. 23. When you have nothing to say, you may as well keep your mouth shut. The wind and the rain don't go on forever. If nature knows enough to give it a rest sometimes, so should you. If you're ready for Tao, you can live with Tao. If you're ready to succeed, you can live with success. If you're ready to fail, you can live with failure. Trust your instincts, and others will trust you. 24. Keep your feet firmly planted unless you want to fall on your face. Learn how to pace yourself if you want to get anywhere. Don't call attention to yourself if you want people to notice your work. Nobody respects people who always have excuses. Nobody gives credit to people who always take it. People who hype themselves have nothing else to offer. Think of being in touch with Tao like eating at a buffet: Take only what you need. Save some for everybody else. 25. Something perfect has existed forever, even longer than the universe. It's a vast, unchanging void. There's nothing else like it. It goes on forever and never stops, and everything else came from it. I don't know what else to call it so I'll call it Tao. What's it like? I can tell you this much: it's great. So great that it endures. Something that endures goes a long way. And something that goes a long way always comes back to the beginning. Tao's great. Heaven's great. Earth's great. And someone in touch with Tao is great, too. Those are the four greatest things in the universe. Someone who's in touch with Tao is in touch with the earth. The earth is in touch with heaven. Heaven's in touch with Tao. Tao's in touch with the way things are. 26. To be light on your feet, you need a steady mind. If your body is active, your mind should be relaxed. A Master can travel long distances and still see everything she owns. She may be surrounded by beauty but she isn't caught up in it. Why run around thoughtlessly? If you act lightly, you lose your bearings. If you act recklessly, you lose your self-control. 27. With enough practice, you could come and go without a trace, speak without stumbling over words, do complicated math problems in your head. You could build a door with no lock that nobody could open. You could tie something down with no knots, without even a rope, and nobody could pry it loose. Masters have time to help everybody, and ignore nobody. They use their resources wisely, wasting nothing. Some people call this "following the light." Good people teach others because they have the potential to be good too. Brains count for nothing if you fail to respect your teachers or to honor the potential in others. That's one of the most important lessons of Tao. 28. If you are strong, but remain sensitive, power will flow through you. With that power, you'll always be right with Tao: It's like a whole new life. If you are idealistic, but stay rooted in reality, you are an example to others. Set that example, and you'll always be right with Tao: There is no limit to what you can do. If you are honorable, but remain humble, you will see things as they are. If you see things as they are, you'll always be right with Tao: Your life will become simple, yet full of potential. Let Tao show you how to get right with Tao, so your slightest gesture can change the world. 29. Want to take over the world? Think again. The world's a holy place. You can't just mess around with it. Those who try to change it destroy it. Those who try to possess it lose it. With Tao, you push forward, or maybe you stay behind. Sometimes you push yourself, other times you rest. Sometimes you're strong, sometimes you're weak. Sometimes you're up, and sometimes you're down. A Master lives simply, avoiding extravagance and excess. 30. Listen up: If you want to be a leader who's in touch with Tao, never use violence to achieve your goals. Every act of violence backfires. An army on the move leaves a trail of tears, and a military victory always lies in ruins. The Masters do what needs doing and that's all they do. Do what you have to do without arrogance or pride. Get the job done and don't brag about it afterwards. Do what you have to do, not for your own benefit, but because it needs to be done. And don't do it the way you think it should be done, do it the way it needs to be done. The mighty will always lose their power and any connection they ever had to Tao. They will not last long; if you're not right with Tao, you might as well be dead. 31. Weapons are terrible things. If you want to get right with Tao, reject weapons. The Master, knowing all things came from Tao, recognizes what he has in common with his enemies and always tries to avoid conflict. But when there is no other choice, he uses force reluctantly. He does so with great restraint, and never celebrates a victory; to do so would be to rejoice in killing. A person who would rejoice in killing has completely lost touch with Tao. When you win a war, you preside over a funeral. Pay your respects to the dead. 32. Tao is an eternal mystery, so small you can never take hold of it. If a leader gets right with Tao, people will follow him on instinct. All will be right with the world. People will do the right thing without being told. Everything that comes from Tao needs a name. But once everything has its name, you should make no other distinction between things. This prevents you from becoming trapped by them. Everything in the universe is full of Tao and leads to Tao, just like the water in rivers that flows into oceans. 33. Knowing things makes you smart, but knowing yourself makes you wise. To rule others, you must be powerful, but to rule yourself, you must be strong. If you have only what you need, you have true wealth. If you never give up, you will find a way. If you stay true to yourself, you will never be lost. If you stay alive your whole life, you've really lived. 34. Tao flows in all directions. It's in everything, but nothing can contain it. Everything needs Tao, so Tao provides, and never expects anything in return. Everything comes from Tao, but Tao doesn't call attention to itself. It wants for nothing. Think nothing of it. Everything leads to Tao, but Tao doesn't call attention to itself. Pretty impressive, huh? It doesn't strive for success. That's why it succeeds. 35. When you get right with Tao, everybody wants to be your friend. When they're around you, they can relax and enjoy themselves. People can be easily distracted by music or good food. When we try to talk about Tao, it seems boring by comparison. It doesn't look like much. It doesn't sound like much. But no matter how much you use, there's still plenty left. 36. To make something smaller, you need to appreciate its size. To make something weaker, you must recognize its strength. To get rid of something, you need to hold it tight. To take something, you must give it up entirely. To put it another way: Sensitivity and weakness overcome unfeeling strength. 37. Tao never does anything but nothing is left undone. If our leaders could get in touch with Tao, the world would take care of itself. Even if they wanted to impose their own ideas, they'd be drawn back to Tao's nameless simplicity. When our lives are that simple, we want for nothing. We can relax, and the world becomes a better place. ----- Part Two TE (Virtue) ----- 38. People with integrity don't even think about it. That's how you can tell they have integrity. Other people talk about how much integrity they have, when they really don't have much. If any. Truly powerful people don't do anything, but they get the job done. Other people are always busy doing something, but nothing ever gets done. When kind people act, they do so without thinking about it. When the just act, they're always sure they're doing the right thing. But when the righteous act, and nobody reacts, they try to force everyone to do things their way. If you're not in touch with Tao, at least you can still have integrity. If you don't have integrity, there's always kindness. If you don't have kindness, there's always justice. If you don't have justice, all you have left is righteousness. Righteousness is an pale imitation of true faith and loyalty, and always leads to trouble. If you've already made up your mind, you don't know the first thing about Tao, and you never will. The Masters pay attention to what's beneath the surface. They'll look at a tree's leaves, but eat the fruit. They turn all that down, so they can accept this. 39. Since time began, this is what it's meant to be in touch with Tao: Tao made the heavens clear. Tao made the earth solid. Tao made our spirits strong. Tao made the valleys fertile. Tao gave all living things life. Tao gave rulers authority. Without Tao, the heavens would collapse. Without Tao, the earth would crumble. Without Tao, our spirits would fade away. Without Tao, the valleys would dry up. Without Tao, all life would become extinct. Without Tao, rulers would stumble and fall. Humility gives us power. Our leaders should think of themselves as insignificant, powerless, unworthy of their stature. Isn't that what humility is all about? Be strong, but pay no attention to hollow praise. Don't call attention to yourself. Don't make a scene. 40. Tao is always heading back to where it came from. Tao advances by not pressing forward. Things exist because they are. They are because they once were not. 41. When a wise person hears about Tao, he gets right with it. When an ordinary person hears about Tao, he tries to get right with it, but eventually gives up. When a fool hears about Tao, he just laughs and laughs. If he didn't laugh, it wouldn't be Tao. Here's what they find so funny: The path to enlightenment seems covered in shadows. The way forward feels like taking a step back. The easiest path seems difficult. Those with the most virtue seem debased. Those who are most pure seem to be grubby and soiled. The deepest thoughts appear shallow. The greatest strength looks like weakness. What is most real strikes us as imaginary. The largest space has no boundaries. The greatest talent seems to produce nothing. The greatest voice is unhearable. The greatest beauty is invisible. Tao is hidden to us and it has no name. It is the source and the strength of all things. 42. Chapter 42 starts out with some cosmic mumbo-jumbo about Tao making one, one making two, two making three, and three making everything else. I don't know what it means, and, frankly, I wouldn't worry about it too much. Let's get to the practical part: Men hate to be called powerless, insignificant, or unworthy, but that's how Masters describe themselves. Because when we lose, we've won. And when we succeed, we've failed. Other people will tell you what I'm telling you now: "Live by the sword, die by the sword." That's pretty much what Chapter 42 boils down to. (See Chapter 46 for more details.) 43. The softest force in the universe can overcome the hardest of objects. Something without substance can pass through the space between atoms. That's how I know about the power of doing nothing. The silent teachings and the power of doing nothing can only be understood by a few people. 44. What's more important, fame or your well-being? What's worth more, your money or your life? What is more dangerous, winning or losing? If you are too attached to your possessions, they will bring you misery. If you hang on to your riches, you will suffer substantial loss. If you know when you have enough, you will never be disgraced. If you practice moderation, you can stay out of trouble. And that's the secret to lasting success. 45. The greatest achievements may look like mistakes, but you will always be able to build upon them. The fullest reserves may seem empty, but you will always be able to draw upon them. The straightest line looks crooked. The most skilled people come off as clumsy. The most eloquent people are usually silent. When it's cold, you can move around to stay warm. When it's hot, you should keep still and stay cool. But whatever the weather, if you stay calm, the world will sort itself out around you. 46. "When the world is right with Tao," Lao Tzu said, "horses haul fertilizer to the fields. When the world loses touch with Tao, horses are trained for cavalry." Nothing is more insidious than possession. Nothing is more dangerous than desire. Nothing is more disastrous than greed. If you know when enough is enough, you will always have enough. 47. You don't have to leave your room to understand what's happening in the world. You don't have to look out the window to appreciate the beauty of heaven. The farther you wander, the less you know. The Masters don't wander around They know. They don't just look. They understand. They don't do anything, but the work gets done. 48. Usually, we try to learn something new every day. But if we want to get right with Tao, we have to let go of something every day. We do less and less, until we end up doing nothing. And it's when we do nothing that we get the job done. Let events take their course, and everything will turn out in your favor. If you act on your ambitions, they will never pan out. 49. The Masters don't make up their minds. They turn their thoughts to other people. They are good to good people, and they're good to bad people. This is real goodness. They have faith in the faithful, and they have faith in the unfaithful. This is real faith. A Master throws himself into the world completely, forgetting everything he's been told. People pay attention to him because he lives a life of child-like wonder. 50. People who look for the secret of long life wind up dead. Their bodies are the focus of their lives and the source of their death, because they think a healthy body is all there is to life. Lao Tzu used to say a man who truly understood life could walk through the jungle without fear or across a battlefield without armor, totally unarmed. Wild animals and weapons couldn't kill him. I know, I know: what the hell does that mean? "Well, he couldn't be killed," Lao Tzu said, "because his body wasn't where he kept his death." 51. Tao is the source of all living things, and they are nourished by Tao's power. They are influenced by the other living things around them, and they are shaped by their circumstances. Everything respects Tao and honors its power. That's just the way it is. Tao gives life to all things, and its power watches out for them, cares for them, helps them grow, protects them, and comforts them. Create something without holding on to it. Do the work without expecting credit for it. Lead people without giving them orders. That's the secret of the power of Tao. 52. Everything starts with Tao, the mother of all things. If you know the mother, you know the children. If you know the children and remember the mother, you have nothing to fear in your life. Shut your mouth and keep still, and your life will be full of happiness. If you talk all the time, always doing something, your life will be hopeless. It takes insight to see subtlety. It takes strength to yield gently to force. Use that strength to hang on to your insight, and you will always be at peace. That's how to get right with Tao. 53. If I had any sense, I'd be trying to get right with Tao, and the only thing I'd worry about would be messing up. It's not that hard to get right with Tao, but people are easily distracted. "When the king's palace is full of treasure," Lao Tzu said, "ordinary people's fields are smothered with weeds, and the food supplies run out." Today, you see sharply dressed people carrying flashy weapons and living the high life. They own more than they could ever use, let alone need. They're nothing but gangsters and crooks. That's not what Tao's about. 54. Tao's power is so deeply entrenched it can never be uprooted. Tao's power clings so tightly it can never slip away. It will endure for generations. If you get in touch with the power of Tao, it will become real. If your family gets in touch with the power of Tao, the power will flourish. If your community gets in touch with the power of Tao, the power will grow even stronger. If your country gets in touch with the power of Tao, the power will become abundant. If the world gets in touch with the power of Tao, the power will be everywhere. How can I know this? I just do. 55. A person filled with the power of Tao is like a baby boy: bees can't sting him, wild beasts can't attack him. A baby has soft bones and weak muscles, but a firm grip. He hasn't had sex, but he can get an erection. That's because he's got lots of energy. He can cry all day and never lose his voice. That's because he's at one with his world. If you're at one with the world, you know constancy. And if you know constancy, you've been enlightened. It's not healthy to try to prolong your life. It's unnatural to impose the mind's will upon the body. People waste time and energy trying to be strong or beautiful, and their strength and beauty fade. They've lost touch with Tao, and when you lose touch with Tao, you might as well be dead. 56. Those who know, don't talk. Those who talk, don't know. Shut your mouth. Be still. Relax. Let go of your worries. Stay out of the spotlight. Be at one with the world and get right with Tao. If you get right with Tao, you won't be worried about praise or scorn, about winning or losing, about honor or disgrace. That's the way to be. 57. You can run a country by sticking to principles, and you can win a war with strategy and tactics. But you can gain the entire world by doing nothing at all. How do I know this? I've seen it happen: The more restrictions a nation imposes, the poorer its people become. When a nation hoards weapons, troubles arise from within and from without. When its leaders try to be cunning and clever, the situation spins further out of control. When they try to fix things by passing more laws, they only increase the number of outlaws. A wise leader says to himself: "I do nothing, and people transform themselves. I keep silent, and they do the right thing on their own. I stay out of the way, and they prosper. I want for nothing, and they lead simple lives." 58. When a nation is ruled with a light touch, people lead simple lives. When a government is harsh and demanding, people will spend their time trying to outsmart it. Happiness is rooted in misery, and misery lurks beneath all joy. Who knows what could happen tomorrow? Everything is relative; what's considered proper today may become improper. Correct appearances may hide dishonesty and sinfulness. No wonder so many people get confused. The Masters have sharp minds, not sharp tongues. They are austere, but never judgmental. They are straightforward, but not provocative. They are brilliant, but not flashy. 59. Leadership is based on moderation. Practice moderation, and you'll get in touch with the power of Tao. If you get right with Tao, nothing is impossible. If you get right with Tao, there's no limit to what you can do. If you get right with Tao, you can be a true leader. Remember this advice if you want to be a leader: Plant deep roots in firm soil. Get right with Tao, and you'll always see things clearly. 60. Being a leader is like cooking a small fish; get right with Tao, and it's quick and easy. When you're in touch with Tao, you don't need to worry about misfortune. You can't make it go away, of course, but you can keep it from harming other people. Also, as a wise leader, you cause no harm to others, so people won't have to worry about getting hurt, and they'll take the opportunity to do the right thing. 61. Power flows down to every level of existence like a river to the ocean. Victory comes from lying perfectly still and waiting for power to come your way. If you yield to someone less powerful than yourself, you will be in a position to influence them. If you submit to someone more powerful than yourself, you create an opportunity to get your own way. So if you want to get ahead, lay low and bide your time. That way, everybody's happy. 62. Every living thing gets its strength from Tao. Good people respect the value of Tao. The wicked and foolish don't, but Tao provides for them anyway. Some people gain power and prestige through fancy words, others through great deeds. But Tao is available to everyone, not just the powerful. So don't look down on anybody. When people become powerful, and everybody lines up to kiss their ass, sit still and stay right with Tao. Why have the Masters always respected Tao? Because when you get right with Tao, you can always find what you need to get by, and trouble can never find you. 63. Keep still. Don't work so hard. Learn to appreciate everyday life. Pay attention to details. Start small and work your way up. When people give you trouble, let it slide. Break everything down to its essentials. Get the job done before it becomes a chore. With the right preparation, difficult tasks can be completed with ease; every major project consists of simple steps. The Masters don't take on more than they can handle, which is why they can do just about anything. Don't promise more than you can deliver, and don't underestimate the task: You'll only make things harder for yourself. The Masters are always aware of the difficulties involved, which is why they never have to deal with them. 64. It's easy to maintain balance. Trouble can be nipped in the bud. Fragile things break easily, and small things are easy to lose. Deal with the situation before it becomes a problem. Keep everything straight so it can't get messed up. Every tree was once a seed. Every skyscraper started out with a shovelful of dirt. And--stop me if you've heard this one before-- a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. When you try too hard, you defeat your own purpose. Cling to stuff, and you will suffer loss. The Masters make no effort, so they never fail. They aren't attached to things, so they never feel loss. People often screw up when the job's nearly done. Pay as much attention to the finishing touches as you do to the initial steps, and you won't screw up like that. The Masters try to be free from desire. They don't collect precious things. They don't cling to any beliefs. They pay attention to what everybody else ignores. They help the world get right with Tao, but don't try to change a thing. 65. In ancient times, leaders who were right with Tao didn't teach everybody how to become enlightened. They kept people's lives simple. People who know too much can't be taught anything. Leaders who try to be clever always screw things up. Leaders who keep things simple always make things right. If you get that, you'll understand the mysterious power of Tao. That kind of power is so deep, so extensive, it penetrates into every level of existence. 66. An ocean is greater than the hundred rivers that flow into it, and all it does is wait to receive what they bring. If you want to teach people, don't talk down to them. If you want to lead them, find out where they want to go. People love leaders who make them feel safe without smothering them. They'll always support a leader like that, and because he doesn't try to compete with anybody, nobody is able to compete with him. 67. Everywhere I go, people tell me, "Tao is so powerful, so immense, it's inconceivable!" But it's only powerful because it's inconceivable. If we could wrap our minds around it, Tao would be just another thing. The three most important qualities in life are compassion, or showing kindness and mercy to others, moderation, or knowing what a thing is worth, and modesty, or knowing your place in the world. Courage stems from showing kindness and mercy to others. Generosity starts with knowing what a thing is worth. True leadership begins with knowing your place in the world. But these days, I see everyone trying to act courageous without any trace of compassion. They try to be generous but they don't practice moderation in their own lives. They act like leaders, but they have no sense of modesty. No good can come of this. If you want to get ahead, show people compassion. When other people attack you, defend yourself with compassion. It's the most powerful force in the universe. 68. A true warrior never uses force with an attitude of pride or anger. A true victor does not pursue vengeance. A true leader shows humility. This is the power of modesty. It's the best way to deal with people. It's always been an excellent way to get right with Tao. 69. There's an old military saying: "I'd rather face an attack than have to make one. I'd rather retreat a foot than try to advance an inch." That's the secret to moving forward while staying put, preparing for battle without revealing your strength. When you defend yourself without any show of force, you give your opponent nothing to fight. Attacking an enemy you've underestimated is a costly mistake. When two forces oppose each other, the winner is the one most reluctant to fight. 70. Lao Tzu's advice was easy to understand and easy to follow. But nobody understood him or did what he suggested. His words stemmed from ancient wisdom, and his actions were highly disciplined. People didn't get that, which is why they didn't understand him. And the less they understood him, the more meaningful his advice became. That's why the Masters live simply, hiding their wisdom deep within themselves. 71. If you know what you don't know, you're doing great. If you don't know what you don't know, you're sick. The only way to get rid of that sickness is to be sick of it. The Masters aren't sick, because they got sick of being sick. 72. When you show no fear at all, the universe gives you something to really be afraid of. Don't try to fence people in or grind them down. Just let them be, and they'll always be on your side. The Masters know themselves, but they don't reveal themselves. They love themselves, but they know what their lives are worth. They let go of all that to concentrate on this. 73. Those who dare to be bold die. Those who dare to be careful survive. So--what do you want to do? Why is life like that, you ask? I don't know. This is how Tao works: It doesn't push itself, and it always succeeds. It acts silently, and it always reacts. It can't be summoned; it comes whenever it's ready. It can't be rushed; it's always on time. "Heaven casts a wide net, with big holes," Lao Tzu used to say, "but nothing ever gets by it." 74. If people's lives suck, and they look forward to death, what good does it do to threaten to kill them? If people are afraid to die, and the wicked are condemned to death, then who would dare to commit evil? But that doesn't mean you or I can just take life and death into our own hands. That'd be like walking up to an industrial buzzsaw and trying to use it without any training. We'd only end up hurting ourselves. 75. People starve because the government taxes them to death. People rebel because the government tries to run their lives. People act like life is meaningless because the government takes everything they have. People who know how to enjoy life are wiser than people who value their lives. 76. A baby's body is soft and gentle. A corpse is hard and stiff. Plants and trees are tender and full of sap. Dead leaves are brittle and dry. If you are rigid and unyielding, you might as well be dead. If you are soft and flexible, you are truly alive. Soldiers trained to fight to the death will die. A tree that cannot bend with the wind will snap. Here's a useful saying: The harder they come, the harder they fall. Here's another: The meek shall inherit the earth. 77. Lao Tzu said using Tao was like pulling on a bowstring: The top bends down, the bottom bends up, and all the energy is focused in the middle. Tao takes energy from where it is, and sends it where it needs to be. But most people take from those who don't have enough, so those who have too much already can have more. So who in this world is truly generous to others? People who are in touch with Tao. They do their work without taking credit. They get the job done and move on. They aren't interested in showing off. 78. Nothing is softer or more yielding than water. Yet, given time, it can erode even the hardest stone. That's how the weak can defeat the strong, and the supple can win out over the stiff. Everybody knows it. So why don't we apply it to our own lives? Lao Tzu used to say: "Take on people's problems, and you can be their leader. Deal with the world's problems, and you'll be a Master." Sometimes the truth makes no sense. 79. Sometimes, when an argument is settled, feelings of resentment still remain on either side. What's the point of carrying a grudge? The Masters care about what they owe other people, not what other people owe them. People who are in touch with Tao do their duty. People who aren't try to force others into submission. Tao doesn't play favorites. But if you do right by Tao, Tao will do right by you. 80. Lao Tzu had a dream about a small country with very few people. They didn't need machines to get their work done faster. They took their lives seriously, and stayed close to home. They may have owned boats and carriages, but they never went anywhere. They may have owned weapons, but they kept those weapons locked up, securely hidden. They had so few responsibilities, they never had to make a To-Do list to remember what had to be done. They enjoyed simple foods, dressed plainly, lived comfortably, and kept their traditions alive. And even though their neighbors were so close they could hear the dogs barking at night, they had no interest in leaving their homes, where they grew old peacefully and died. 81. The truth isn't flashy. Flashy words aren't true. Educated people aren't always smart. Smart people don't always have an education. Good people don't argue. People who argue aren't good. The Masters don't hang on to things. They're always doing something for other people, so they always have more to give. They give away whatever they have, so what they have is worth more. If you want to get right with Tao, help other people, don't hurt them. The Masters always work with people, never against them. -----

Hello Lucky, You asked a lot of questions and I'll do my best to answer them. My ego resides within my body. It is made up of the brain cells within my body. My experience of the ego is exactly that, the things I experience as an ego-self. Philosophies only become practices when one practices them. So yes they are practices, but before practice they are philosophies. It doesn't matter. Whether there is light or darkness what resides there is still the same. Our fear of darkness does not stem from our fear of the unknown, but rather being alone. If you doubt this, then just consider the fact that the child who cries in the dark is comforted when their mother holds them close. One does not need a spark of light to feel comfort in the darkness, only the knowledge that they are not alone. Another way of looking at it is that darkness is ignorance and light is knowledge. In that sense then you do need knowledge, but it does not spark a new being, but rather it brings the awareness clearly into sight. The fact of the matter is that this awareness was their from the beginning, the light only brings the illusion that it just arrived. I would love to read the textbooks that sound like these ideologies if you can point me in that direction. Yes I have. I know this because I have experienced it and contemplated it and when contemplation wasn't enough, allowed it to be. This is not conjecture but rather experience. It's the reason I make the distinction between intellectual enlightenment and experiential enlightenment. Sickness in a dream only exists within the ego. When I am asleep I hear a jet plane roaring overhead, but when I awaken I find a fly buzzing at my ear. The Jet plane never existed, only the fly. There is no cure for this, rather you are aware that you were dreaming. I understand that you are using this as a metaphor for self and no-self, the idea that our existence is really just an illusion that is based on the conditioning of our ego. My point is that conditioning does not create an illusionary reality, but rather that the illness comes when one ceases to accept reality because they view it as a sickness. Written in stone is a metaphor for something that cannot be changed. What I mean to say is that everything we have ever experienced is housed within the cells of the brain. When people undergo brain surgery memories are often triggered when the doctor touches a part of the brain. When this occurs the memory is so vivid, it's as if the person is actually there. This is the problem that arises from this notion that self does not exist, it does exist in very real and physical sense. It exists within the cells of the brain. There is more than enough proof to support this that arguing about it seems fruitless. This is also why I say you cannot remove the self. The only way the self is ever removed is when the body dies, even then the memories will remain, even if they are never used, so long as the body does not deteriorate. (Of course that's a topic for a science fiction forum rather than this one.) I'm glad you love my ideas, but I think that what I'm advocating is the furthest thing from speculation (aside from the spirit-self which I cannot prove exists, but can be experienced.) My understanding of self stems from my understanding of reality as it is right at this moment. In my opinion what I'm claiming is not grandiose in the least, at least not by Buddhist, Hindu, and Taoist standards, and instead is quite practical and rational. It is an explanation of self that can be supported and understood by nearly anyone that pays attention to what is being shared. You are absolutely right about simplifying it to the moment, but that simplification has it's time and place. This thread isn't about saying, "just accept things as they are," but rather it's about knowing things as they are so that one can truly accept things for what they are. I hope that answers your questions. If you have anymore please feel free to ask. Peace be with you. Aaron

A similar experiential view about the soul from the kahunas... The Oversoul The Hawaiian word for the higher, immortal, spiritual aspect of the self is 'aumakua, a term that might be translated as "utterly trustworthy ancestral spirit." It could also be interpreted as "the spirit that hovers over me," revealing why so many perceive it as a benevolent winged being or guardian angel. It can also be considered as 'our ancestor' as the word 'makua' means parent, and 'au' means time... our parent in time. It is variously known in the West as the higher self, the god self, the angelic self, the overself, or simply as the oversoul. Occasionally, individuals who have a spontaneous mystical experience or lucid dream will find themselves in the presence of an immensely powerful and beneficent god-like being. The average person usually interprets this event, and attendant conversation, as a visit from a deity, a mythic spiritual hero, or even 'God,' and of course, we must always acknowledge the possibility that this may be so. But most often, the supra-human visitor and source of that uncommon dialogue is that person's own god-self, their oversoul. The kahunas understand that our oversoul is always in contact with us, throughout every moment of our life. The ease with which this connection may be achieved reveals that when we are embodied here on Earth, the spirit world is not in some faraway, remote location. The invisible realms are all around us, all the time, and our oversoul can be accessed right here, right now, once we know how. The kahuna perspective reveals that our oversoul is in constant attendance, carefully watching everything we do, listening with concern to every word and thought, monitoring every choice and decision, silently applauding when we succeed, silently feeling concern when we fail. It never interferes with our life, nor does it ever tell us what to do. This is because the power of individual choice and free will is always honored. Our oversoul contains within itself all the experiences garnered in our past lives, and thus it possesses all the knowledge of which we ever might have need during our lifetime. It communicates best with us through the medium of inspiration, sending us ideas and hunches, dreams and visions, revealing it to be the source of our intuition. Through providing its embodiment (us) with intuitive guidance, our personal oversoul serves as our primary spirit teacher. Often when we sit in silence in meditation, a feeling of tranquility may begin to pervade us, filling us with a sense of utter peace. We may notice that if we consider some problem at such moments, the answer to the dilemma usually appears in our mind. Our oversoul is the source of that feeling of tranquility as well as the origin of the information that arrives in our conscious awareness in response to need. This is why my great Hawaiian friend, the kahuna nui Hale Kealohalani Makua, was found of saying "You will never find a better teacher than yourself." From the kahuna perspective, the oversoul is also the ultimate source of who and what we are, serving as our personal creator. In this capacity, it is the immortal soul-aspect that resides always in the Upper Worlds, the one that divides itself, sending in an energetic hologram of its essence, a seed of light that takes up residence within our body at the beginning of each new life cycle. This essence contains and reflects the totality of the character that we have developed across countless lives. The divine breath (of life) that the Hawaiians call the Ha, is the vehicle through which this spiritual transfer occurs. When we are born, we receive our Ha with our first breath, and it remains with us throughout life until we release it with our last. It is the divine breath that conveys our immortal soul's seed into our new body at life's inception and then carries it back to its oversoul source at life's end-a reincarnational insight that is clearly reflected in the Judeo-Christian traditions that proclaim with authority that God breathes life into form. In Latin, the word for breath is the same as the word for spirit-- spiritus. In Hebrew, the word for spirit and breath is also the same-- ruach. For the kahuna, however, it is not some monotheistic, authoritarian, creator-god that breathes life into us, listens to our prayers, and sends occasional messengers to Earth who usually get treated badly. It is our own personal god-self--our oversoul, our 'aumakua-our own immortal spirit soul, who gives us our breath of life, and the messenger is us. Hank Wesselman http://www.sharedwisdom.com/article/hawaiian-perspectives-matrix-soul

why would a master wanna seek to influence society if that society doesn't give him any benefits? and even if the master becomes an outcast so what? life is like a dream and we all die in the end.. the ultra-dimensional ETs are now openly walking among us.. if any human is to become an outcast, it is because the ETs have shut off his ultra-dimensional faculties which is prevent him from using ultra-dimensional technologies and getting used to a ultra-dimensional society.. but then if the ultra-dimensional ETs refuse to open up the ultra-dimensional faculties of a master, then you can't blame the master for becoming an outcast..

I guess it might also be necessary to state that I don't sleep normally. I have a polyphasic sleep schedule in which I'm never up at the hrs of 11-1am (usually anyways) and the hours of 3-5 I'm usually up. But... this morning I did feel a stirring around 4-6-ish in which I felt like I would have an erection if I had not been so focused on something else... or sleeping, or with a full bladder and sleeping AND int he dream state (heheh). So yea.. maybe it's not so bad after all , ie like an erectile dysfunction and low testosterone. In fact I regularly feel my organ stir I just choose to not sort of manifest fully into a Full erection, and try to channel it upwards but I usually don't know how. Anyone know how? Joeblast said thru dan-tian but through which channel is that? du, or ren? or "central" channel? I also felt as if concaving my lower back might help target it going up the du channel.

I was listening to this the other day...what a magical moment...! And we walked the pagan streams And searched for white horses on surrounding hills We lived where dusk had meaning And repaired to quiet sleep, where noise abated In touch with the silence On Honey Street, on Honey Street What happened to a sense of wonder On yonder hillside, getting dim Why didn't they leave us, alone Why couldn't we just be ourselves We could dream, and keep bees And live on Honey Street And we walked the pagan streams In meditation and contemplation And we didn't need anybody, or anything Then, no concepts, being free And I wanna climb that hillside again, with you One more time As the great, great, great, great, great, great, great Being watches over And we repair, repair, repair, shhh, repair, shhh, we repair...

I am transitioning into a new way of teaching-focusing on leading retreats for women so I have about 5 books on that subject. I am also a big fan of kindle. My list on my kindle: Just a few The Pleasure Trap ( about the bio-psychological basics of addiction and the affect it has on our society). Eat to Live by Joel Fuhrman (moving to a plant based diet) A Light Warrior's Guide by Michael Lomax Exploring Chakras: Awaken Your UnTapped Energy by Susan G. Shumsky Asanas, Mudrahs, and Bandhas by Yogani Dream Psychology Psychoanalyis for beginners by Sigmund Freud Popular Tales from the Norse by Sir George Webber Dasent (Always good to know the myths and archetypes of other cultures when working with kundalini.) The Problems of Philosophy by Bertrand Russell Hindu Tales from the Sanskrit The Woman's Bible by Elizabeth Cady Staton. Written by a suffragette during the time the women's movement was just getting started to bring voter rights to women in 1840s. This book was written by women to challenge the religious doctrine of men's right to supremacy over women by studying the historical languages of the bible and rewriting it. Liberation theology. Letters of a Woman Homesteader by Elinore Pruitt Stewart. A woman's letters starting from 1904 who settled in Burnt Fork, Wyoming to become a landowner.( My grandmother was born in 1888 and I wanted to know more about that time. Her great grand uncle, Jebediah Dickerson, retired cavalry colonel, homesteaded a ranch and farm in Missouri in the early 1800s after traveling by covered wagon from Kentucky in the company of Daniel Boone and friends. Or so the family story goes. ) Susan

cat, I'd love too but there are certain topics that shouldn't be discussed openly not because of the memebers that visit this forum but the broader audience online. This is one of them. I hope you do understand. Anyway, when you asked this question you must have had a direct experience with it, right? Glad to see you grasped the idea. It's a shame that karma has been always associated with negativity. In the spiritual path is easier to attain egohood than Buddhahood, so to speak, this leads to an endless karmic dream. Learning to let go of the self will help to overcome desire, wanting things, karma. To me this is the ultimate obstacle (as I already mentioned numerous times) as the mind is what controls the ego.

This post is a bit out there. More and more, I'm coming to the conclusion that upon our death, we will transport to wherever we believe we are going; at least for a while, and then maybe everything enters the collective. Who knows? But I think a Christian will probably have a moment with Jesus at death, perhaps a Buddhist would have a moment with Buddha, etc. As a shamanic type with Taoist tendencies, or vice versa, I'm never sure which - I have a type of afterlife template which involves a green pasture and my horse that I had to put down. All my deceased animals and people I've loved are there. I hope to land there, at least for a while, perhaps a lucid dream in my journey. Okay, I thought....so how does this work for one who believes in a Christian rapture of sorts, where they're physically elevated to a higher level while the rest of us remain behind writhing and gnashing our teeth? Can anybody say UFO?

If the day is just too full there's always some sort of dream/night practice.

Reminds me of the Uriah Heep tune "Circle of Hands" "Today is only yesterday's tomorrow" "Every day sends future to past, every breath leaves me one less to my last" - Pull me under Dream Theater http://www.youtube.c...h?v=cKhfkfnbAMQ Leaves me breathless actually!

Dream interpretation is a complicated thing. Different symbols and things mean different things to different people. You could say roses symbolize love, but what if you were abused as a child by someone with a rose tattoo? A rose might mean abuse and fear for you, rather than love. For interpretation, I tend to examine what someone was thinking/feeling as the events happened, rather than what events happened or what the symbols mean. What do you mean by "protecting the corruption of the school"? Seems to me like, in general, you were facing people who outclassed you in the raw physicality, and someone looking at the situation would say you would lose to them, but you manage to overcome them anyway, and you accomplished a heroic feat. Off hand, I'd say you seek to accomplish some feat in which you are justified in being who you are, rather than being someone else, because you managed to be the "hero" of the day, despite a perceived disadvantage, which in the end, wound up being a strength, and didn't show itself as such until the situation was really very dire, because in every day situations, you seem to be at a disadvantage.

I had a dream the other day.. the TCM school I go to was being "protected" by big psycho gorillas or apes that looked like huge beastly tigers when viewed from the top, protecting the corruption of the school. I ended up outsmarting them and getting rid of them and "saving" the school. What do you think it means?

I saw most of the great bands back in the 70's. King Crimson, Edgar Winter, Jefferson Starship, Moody Blues, J. Giles, Humble Pie, Santana etc. Robert Fripp was playing a beautiful ebony Les Paul in the King Crimson show. That particular model is around 4000.00 now. That is my dream guitar. I own a single cut PRS which is a great guitar. However, it is not a Les Paul!

In My Arms Last night I had the sweetest dream I held you in my arms I healed you from the sickness And held you in my arms You sang to me of the future dear You held me in your arms We traveled for fun and smoked and drank We held each other long The scent of your hair so right I covered your mouth so small Whispered words of love passed between I held you in my arms I awoke to find you far away Weeping, wishing you were in my arms

If you are going to use math, then a proof is required. Do you have references or did you just dream this up?

My recurring dream when I was a child was of a nuclear bomb exploding in the distance and destroying everything around me in a flash. It was so bad I suffered from insomnia when I was 13. Of course that was the early eighties, things are much worse now. Anyways, I don't think climate change will do in mankind, but rather mankind will be its own worst enemy. That doesn't mean we'll be wiped out, but I do believe, much like the plagues in the middle ages, that a large number, at least half of the population will die due to germs or guns. Anyways, it wont happen for at least a few more decades, if it does. In the meantime all we can do is what we can do. I hope life is treating you well. Aaron

I've thought about how to speak about this subject, but I guess I can't translate it into words, since it feels so much like an inner practice that can't be shared. I do hope someone can relate to this, in anyway possible, so that we can share knowledge about it. Perhaps there are words out there for what I'm trying to describe, but I have not found them yet. So I'll try to describe how it feels like to have this thing, and what happens when you have this mysterious thing going for ya. Some people say it is enlightenment, but I don't think its that. So, sorry for the messy texts here. I'm clearly not educated enough about this subject and over-experienced. So take what you want from it to identify the following experience or state of mind I'm trying to describe. Feels like: Great, joy, motivated, powerful, unstoppable, succesfull, confident. Imagination is rising from all over the place, your own sense of humor makes you laugh histerically, let alone others. So much positive energy, you require a valve to let it all out, wether it is screaming out of joy, or spreading love for no reason all over the place and have people look at you in weird ways, but they like it. Your positive energies are contagious, but do not make any sense at all in intellectual ways and are hard to translate even into words. Only trough a made up story of words made up by me during one of these experiences can someone vaguely experience this intellectually. This happens: Only happened few times in my life, imagination becomes extremely powerfull. You seem to become a genius in everything you focus your energies on. Wether it be explaining a thing in the most beautiful way, coming across attractively, being funny, writing stories that are compelling, creating music that is emotionally compelling and beautifull. Sometimes you think it is simply excitement, but being excitement my imagination is not so powerful and trueful, inspiring, etc. It is some harmony of mind, reaching max potential of mind, the energies can be channelled into all kinds of physical, intellectual or emotional actions. I've tested it, the more you focus it the more powerful it becomes. One thing I've noticed is that it only can happen when I feel great joy, and never when I feel neutral or normal or simply content. Or perhaps it is a side effect to feel joy. The energies feel great. Basicly, what happens is obviously not normal in a way that great things happen effortless and naturally. It is too powerful to call it a regular experience or coincidence. I've tested this specific experience on its capabilities like a scientists test rats in a laboratory. My idea is this: This "thing" seems to rise from not just a deep place, but it is something that is the effect of having your entire brain and consciousness cooperate in a harmonious way, reaching its full potential. Your brain is not on full capacity but on full efficiency whatever you do. Also your mind gets a great sense of timing, when you do something stupid, you do it on such a perfect timing that is no longer is stupid. Weird to explain. It is like turning anything into gold. It only happens when you completely forget your identity, and become whatever you want or feel like becoming in that moment, kinda like not having an ego what Dr. Wayne describes so often. I've always felt like Dr. Wayne Dyer is one person who lives with this thing naturally, all the time, but I can't seem to reproduce it like him. I know it is "something" but I've never been able to reproduce this state of mind on intend alone. It seems to require great luck, and the effects can last a day, or longer as long as you don't sleep or loose the "thing". When focus is lost, the experience is lost aswell and the power is gone in the wind. When you stop using it, it seems to fade away aswell. It is so thin and vague, like a lucid dream. Coming out of no where, going to nowhere from which it came. Perhaps nothingness is the feeling itself. You relate to nothing, and thus everything. I've noticed how Dr. Wayne Dyer is sometimes trying to explain it, thats how I got interested in him for a while. Especially when he talks about forgetting to label things. We all know that labelling is very important for communication and science and stuff, but to get this experience you must forget labelling. Sometimes you filter your own actions because you label the action and then disapprove of the label, thus refraining from the action all together. One time I dropped the fear of letting go of this ego and labelling stuff, resulting in experiencing the thing again. I wrote that down emmediatly when it occured, that it was notable that before it occured I was trying to let go of the fear of not labelling. But it doesn't always work, it is hard to let go of labelling, that requires a practice on itself and alot of courage aswell. Sometimes it requires of you to do something very scary before the fear of "letting go of labelling" goes truely away. I mean, it requires you to follow your heart for no freakin' reason at all, without the thoughts and intellectual minds interfering at all. It is like function from your egoless soul. I've never done weed, sigarets, alcohol or any drugs in my life, so I don't know how the experience may relate to these things. I do remember everything that happens during these experience, I even wrote about it when some occured, for my self, so that I may try to recall it even better. No matter what I do, I can never recall the emotional values that come into play during these experiences. This is one of the most notable things. For example, when I'm having this experience, I feel like another person, a great person. But I don't forget "my usual self" or my "ego self" while being this person. And looking at this usual self from the egoless self is weird. I don't loose my memory functioning in anyway during this experience, so even after it I can recall the experience itself, but when my usual ego self is returned my line of thoughts are totally diffrent and cannot be related to the person or non-person that I am during the experience. The reason I think I become like that during the experience, because I feel like thats naturally the best way to be. So I don't think it is a double personality or something, I recall every moment of these experiences. But I can never recall the emotion, or try to empathize towards this past self. It is nothing. I can't relate to it because it has no ego. It is so hard to explain that you cannot relate to yourself when you are experience some thing that cannot be related to... WTF.. Perhaps a true ego-less state of mind? Are there any more commonly used terms for this that you think describes it best? I know that nothing is what its named after is the way to go for this thing, but labelling this experience will help alot in the communication of it with others, and perhaps even practice to reproduce it more effectively or quickly so that I may return the favor one day and learn it to others. I don't expect much of an answer, so feel free to comment in anyway. If you think I've totally lost my mind, I assure you all is sane up here. Well, I do find it weird aswell... But wonderfull. So I share.

all my life have had two dreams recurring. One is a giant wave going over land and the other standing at the front line of an army of children and teens even little ones standing there against an army in black. There are no weapons. Its a battle of intent and righteousness between those who wish to become one with the earth and those who do not. We win in that dream, by faith and by love

I have used a variety of methods. I bought an OMNI V 3HP blender for raw food intake. I practice zhan zhuang and Chen family chansigong exercises. I have explored some Feldenkrais reprogramming. I practice Inner Smile at an integrated level. Microcosmic Orbit is almost constant now. I take a food source daily multivitamin. I take maca to charge my jing as that is a weakness I inherently possess. I take calcium supplements as well as other minerals and trace metals. I have used colloidal silver as an antibiotic and to help my nervous system recover. I take probiotics. I followed modified bigu for nearly a year. I smoke cannabis and tobacco as needed to deal with the pain and the tics. I practice sleeping meditation and dream travel. I pray a lot. Sufi poetry has helped me to see that servitude and slavery to god is not the same. I chant Sufi and listen to the sinus overtones created. I have been examining my previous experience and many suppressed memories from the post traumatic stress disorder have been brought to fore and explored. I am still dealing with emotional automatic reactions and my own thought process. Sympathy is still hard for me as I find myself apathetic toward most self caused suffering I hear from people. I listen to many different kinds of music, dependent on my mood. I write poetry and occasionally perform. My fiancee is a great resource of emotional understanding as I am for her as well. I have a few confidants who have been able to listen to my spiritual plane experiences even if they don't fully believe or understand what I speak of. I play with my friends' children and try to help them with avoiding the troubles of my own experience of painful upbringing.

You may be describing mankind in general but the chinese are not the poster child for that argument. I wouldn't use the Taiwanese example. They are equal or even more concerned than mainland Chinese with economic success. Taiwan is a highly "westernised" (especially from the US perspective) country. It is still traditional in many regards, but Taiwanese people are obsessed with Japanese pop-culture and the American dream and values. For Taiwan, I was referring to the influence (and role) of Daoism, not Hedonism. But I agree in part with your points about Taiwan.

First of all, it is the whole world, not only China that is extremely hedonistic and materialistic; the only thing is that China is today's world's factory. I wouldn't use the Taiwanese example. They are equal or even more concerned than mainland Chinese with economic success. Taiwan is a highly "westernised" (especially from the US perspective) country. It is still traditional in many regards, but Taiwanese people are obsessed with Japanese pop-culture and the American dream and values.