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The point that you have missed here Pat is the fact that dispite my own addmission that I am not achieved or more than a beginner, the teaching and practices I experienced with David are designed so that anyone, experienced or not, can understand the real meaning of Daoist cultivation once they understand the underlying principles. That's what's so exciting, that an ordinary person like me can easliy grasp why most of the stuff out their that's being presented in the west as Daoist cultivation is very shallow and incomplete. Btw, I have been practicing and researching for over a decade and am a former HT instructor; it's not like I fell off the turnup cart yesterday. I have traveled to Euope and Asia fairly extensively over the past 6 years and learned the secrets of Daoism from people who have achieved th things many her dream of achieving and that have been written about is classical texts, but grossly misunderstood in the west and in China for that matter, the realities of these practices are there for those who look. As for your challenge, I cannot accept. Our school has nothing to do with martial arts really. For what it's worth I'm sorry for any offense you have perceived. I certiany never intended to offend the memory of your Mother. I think that is very clear and there is really no need for you to behave the way you have because I have nothing against you personally. I just happen to think your criticism of me is unskillful and borish. I will share some points from David's recent essay soon; hopefully this help clearify the message I'm putting out and the reason for secrets, etc. It is the masters obligation to keep secrets from his students, it's imortant for teh student's growth and the masters duty to only reveal what that student needs at the right time in his or her development. Simple, but easy to confuse from an outside perspective. Many traditions, such as the Jewish Cabbalists and Christain essenes held and do hold the exact same ways of secrecy and it's a safe gaurd for the student, nothing more. When you understand what cultivation is and how delicate and complex the process of creating the Dan tien and letting the process occur at the right time and in a balenced way, you will understand why the secrets are not secrets; there are actually very important karmic reasins for this and the student can bear that karma for life times if they go to fast or don't proceed according to the teachers perscription which can be different for each student. As for the price of the training. Many of David's masters do actually teach for free and some do not. As has been made clear here, the prices for David's retreat are more expensive than some training and less than others. I happen to think they are pretty reasonable. I really don't see how this is corrupt or evil. The idea that David is somehow putting a price on enlightenment or immortality is not really close to the reality as he is not really garenteeing anything of this magnitude. There are many paths to enlightenment, all require sacrifice. I understand your frustration and I hope we can make peace. The fact that I'm rude and sometimes crass has nothing to do with the truth of the experiences of myself and others. I think someone used the term 'Hornets nest,' this is basically how it gets in this board some times. I'm just one person and I'm human. When I feel unfairly attacked some times I react with sarcasm. Sarcasm doesn't translate well on the net. Anyway, as I said I hope we can put our differences aside. I would like to suggest that both parties need to respect eachother more, I think MOST people here see that point. With Love, S

Just received David's thoughts on the matter of the practice revealed and Pietro's actions. David is always very telling about such matters and about people like Pietro who have, of course, a troubled history with David. David related the whole story of his very limited relationship with Pietro. I will not repeat such embarressing details here. Definity Pietro has a motive to black mail David in this funny little charade. I will leave the rest to imagination out of respect for Peitro's reputation and emotional health. David did write him and requested that the material be taken down and we shall see if he will make good on his promise. As for Vidiami, David "understands that his actions are faultless and just asked that he contact Peitro to also request him to remove the description. Since Vidiami created the mess, he should have a part in cleaning it up." David sometimes tests his students, while he said it's up to Vidiami, if Vidiami values his relationship with David, it would be a nice gesture; that's just my feeling. Sean David's letter: "Dear Sean I wrote to Pietro so to cut the head of the problem directly. this is the letter in italian Pietro sono anni che non ci sentiamo, mi spiace che debba essere a causa dell'incidente della lettera sul forum, un paio di amici mi hanno scritto in proposito, ti pregherei di cancellare le copie che hai fatto e altre note e referenze all'argomento, in rispetto di privacy e della volonta' dei maestri in proposito. Una descrizione cosi' generale di un esercizio non puo' far altro che generare piu' confusione e gossips. D'altronde qualunque pratica se descritta a livello generale potrebbe essera asscociata a qualunque altra ed invece non e' decisamente il caso, ti pregherei di evitare di suggerire altrimenti. grazie mille a buona fortuna David English version: Pietro Many years passed since we last communicated, it is regrettable that the reason is an "accident" cause by a forum letter. A couple of friends wrote me in regard, please erase the copies and paste you made and also references and notes on the topic so to repect privacy and the masters will. Such a general description of a practice will only create confusion and gossips, in fact any practic if described in such general terms can potentially be associated to any other, this is not definetly the case, please do not suggest it is so. thanks a lot and good luck David" Indeed, way past my bed time. This fat happy lad is going to beddy by. Sorry Pat it's 10pm here time for all good little punks to dream of cotton candy and lemon drops. I suggest you do the same. Things may look different in the morning.

Welcome to the Bums and nice dream interpretation.

Right on.. I can't remember where this story is from but the basic idea is that someone was being shown heaven and hell. In Hell, there was a long table with exquisite foods but everyone seated at the table had really long fingers and couldn't bring the food to their mouths, so they were sitting there pretty unhappy and starving. Heaven was the same exact table, same exact food, but the people at the table were feeding the one across from them and vice versa. I have been reading a bit on the berg's version of kabbalah and Cam, I think you would be really interested in it. It's basically all about reducing the ego. When you're ego based, you want to receive for yourself. When you can transcend the ego, then you want to receive in order to share. It's the sharing that brings us to god and to our true nature. The techniques in the secret, the way it's presented, enforce the ego. Gimme gimme gimme, me me me. But I see it's the only way to wake up. By realizing that our experience is caused by us is the only way to have a heaven on earth. As long as we think life is random and meaningless, then the ego will always want its share. We will always have conflict and war. When we realize differently, when we learn that everything that happens to us is our own fault, not our neighbors, when we finally wake up to this is our dream, then we can start to really experience the divine. T

Pietro is that a serious question? Here's one; what is the difference between an idea and a dream? What is the difference between sparring and watching a UFC payperview event? Deep stuff. Spectrum PS - Darin - have you received any helpful replies from your request?

Ian & Paul- Obviously we all know nothing, yet we each believe that we know something or other. Still, the communication is often hard to grapple with. Some try to use this board to field ideas and get feed-back, others use it to express opinions with scant regard for feed-back, others to assert opinions as fact. The communication varies greatly between us. Some connect; some don't. That's only natural IMHO... Ian, I too find Fatherpaul to be obscure at times, but also at other times enlightening. That has been the case with most who enter their thoughts regularly. It is an irksome style that you offer to us here FatherPaul, but I for one, am willing to wade through the obfuscation to glean what your content may tender. My go-round with Denty is an extreme example of contentions getting out of hand. I learned a lot from it. I now would rather cherry-pick from his entries than nit-pick at his (IMHO) - rudeness and meanness of spirit. Communication is the heart of the matter here. So there is bound to be some contention. But to the thread- Dream time in some cultures is the real life of their beings. In what I sumise from quantum theory, all is mind and energy at a basic level and our "reality" is ephimeral at best. I believe that we each have had dreams that seemed "real" and that we have experienced aspects of awakened mind that may have eluded our conscious mind. I recently posted a philosophical look at mind and brain interaction. The difference between in body and out of body consciousness is a deep and often disturbing question. My experience of out of body consciousness is pretty unsettling. Durring out of body consciousness the mind is free and very exposed to forces and energies that our brains shield us from when we are "awake" in this reality that is shared and agreed to by us all as that which is "physical".... I have experienced some out of body consciousness while asleep, while in dire danger, while making love and while meditating. The qualities were very different as were my own energy levels. But it is an aspect of my own consciousness that I wish to explore further. I have accepted the word -Kah as that which names the disembodied spirit. I am not sure which culture this word derives from. In a sense it is as if we are our own gaurdian angels, being aware of that "seperate" reality- as Castinada called it - only adds to our deeper experience of this "reality"... It does not threaten my rational mind that such experiences are available. At one time, my rational mind tended to just reject the "reality" of those experiences. But my spiritual self remembers and relates to that larger sense of self. It may not seem rational to want to experience that sort of death-like consciousness, but I believe it keeps me tied to my original spiritual realm of consciousness. I do not "remember" past lives but I do remember being in the womb and being born, and much more of my early childhood than most seem to remember. Children and animals sense the world on very basic levels of being. Sensing the inner spirit of things, places, other animals &/or other people... rather than the outer realities. For me the difference of these types of consciousnesses is just a matter of depth. The spiritual reality is always there to be aware of or "in". This is if and when I am able to manage it. Which is seldom enough indeed.

Darin, After going through all of that, you deserve some sort of something!. It is a path that I would not attempt -because it would not be a natural path for me to attempt. I do not believe it is the modifications you made but the expectations you retain that get in the way of your finding some realization from all this- (what would be for me)-a dire trial. I suggest going out and finding someone to share all that pent-up sexual energy with. Find a loving, kind and giving soul who wants to share. Share your deepest self with another whom you love. Stand back and have a good laugh with yourself and realize that there is no fooling mother-nature. My take on this is as such... One's own spirituality can not be programed nor built like a temple is built. It is not built at all, but found when our consciousness gets in touch with the sacred/devine spark within our selves. It is not created out of the manipulations of our mortal substance; but realized from our opening up to the world around us. The immortality is there already. It is your own eternal being that came from the spirit that all life shares. You just let your consciousness get there and it will let you know. The body consciousness (karmic) does not really want your spiritual consciousness (Dhamic) to get any attention. I'd try the opposite of all you have done and see what happens... I think you will feel a very different sort of self emerge that may have a stronger contact with the purely spiritual part of your being. No amount of any sort of practice will grant awakening, until your own mind accepts that no matter what happens to you the rest of the world will probably not notice anyway...And that encludes your own perceptions! In any case it is a remarkable story of devotion and effort that can be an inspiration, or an object lesson in striving's empty promise. Maybe just open your mind to the possibility that stepping off any given path sometimes offers a new and deeper perspective than the one you were given directions for...The journey is almost always more rewarding than the arrival anyway. namaste-Pat PS -edit in - I thought of one of my sonnets that may apply...Sticking to one way of doing things is a limitation... (60) Limitation With destiny and the projected self vying for choice and force We need maturity to not regret lost options now made clear to us. Will and fate can each hold sway, and both have a claim on course Which brings us to understand why youth is esteemed so dear to us . We watch improbabilities pass expectation's borrowed dream Where the possible extends all boundaries with no end of range. When lake water receiving rain slips its bank becoming stream Who can remember anything that has not known a change? We each cope with unique starts, fresh circumstance galore Which sets us on various paths to find our pursuits fulfilled. With fresh options bestowed in time, each moment a new door… Winning efforts convince us that our performance is self-willed. While an elder’s jaded grasp on death’s surety may be kept on hold Whelps and neophyte’s sense of immortality induces them to be bold.

Here is a poem I wrote when I was 17 & very much In Love... WHEN WE MAKE IT (1971) When we make it gal It's like always in the tree-tops It's mudslidin' happy and warm river swimmin' It's sunbeams dancing with rainbows and singin' It's flowers spreading petals and flutes in deep woods It's church-organ majestic and mmm-mmm good! When we make it gal We transcend like mantras We're sky-born and gleefull We may just go bonkers We're in a dream state so peacefull (rockin' and rollin') When we make it gal, it's like church bells a-tollin'... When we make it gal There aint a devil for miles 'cept me and I'm flyin' There's no scent of bad apples or lost souls stopped tryin' Aint a tear-drop or rain-drop, 'cept those the sun freed Aint a bit of regret or bein' discrete There's no cloud overhead or rock underneath, No cloud overhead or rock underneath. (Ah... to be young and in love...I sang in my chains like the sea)...Namaste-PDG

No its different. I could have sworn I put in the address. Here it is again http://www.geocities.com/lucidmetro/coursetable.htm A good lengthy course on advanced dream work. Michael

Dream work makes me lose too much sleep...seems to train me to be in a meditative state when I need to be sleeping.

OfStrangeEons, I really enjoyed your take -- and I think you're one of the few people among those I know to have seen the movie who got the same idea of "choice" out of it that I did. I play with "loopy time" all the time... and every time I do this, I get to a bifurcated place no matter where I go, a place from which there's this but not that way to proceed, or that but not this -- a Choice looming large, you have to make it... and once you've made it, what happens to the other side of the fork in the road, the one you haven't taken? Once you start thinking about it, you realize that you create and destroy worlds this way every moment, or at least often, way often. I have a niece who, the second she graduated from high school, married a Native American she met on the internet, who currently takes good care of their two cats... and this whole arrangement is a house of cards I inadvertently put together, for the niece exists only because once upon a time I introduced my high school girlfriend to my boyfriend's brother... and what would happen to those two Oklahoma kittens if I didn't throw that party many moons ago, thousands of miles away?.. Thanks for noticing! The first three are classics, I didn't make them up. The fourth is my creation, the idea came in a dream...

Us? You mean you and Pat? SO what? LOL, Michael, my god man, lighten up. I know this forum is your personal playground and probably one of your few social outlets, but I don't think I've flamed anyone here in quite a while. But since your so uptight about it I will give you a good flaming just so you done't feel left out. Please don't take this personally, I'm doing this for your own good. Know that I charish every moment spent with you and dream of going to live chat with you one day; and that day that Michael Winn took an extra long lunch break to grace you with his presence, ya man, I was like there too, in spirit (single tear runs down cheek). Anyway, here's a little flame from me to you with love: The learner is such a big baby, Ha Ha. Why is he always lurking around the forum asking people to 'Go to live chat.' It reminds me of an episode of "To catch a predetor" from Dateline NBC. "Let's take it to live chat. Come on guys? Guys? Anybody?" or "Hey, last night at 3am I had hot ass live chat with some dude and talked about how much my wife hates me." And then there was that time he was asking everone here if they thought he should drop acid? He changed his picture to psychidelic rainbow and started counting down to the big day. He kept saying stuff like, "I finally will know what Satori is!" We had everyone weighing the pros and cons and most of us were like ,"Ya, fucking do it!" Then, of course, he starts worrying about his kids, "What if he goes crazy and loses his mind? Who will take care of the kids?" My god man don't dooooooo IT!!! Oh well, there's always live chat. Hey Learner, I change my mind, take the acid! Your fucking boring. Oh the learner, when will he ever learn. Hugs an Donuts dude, See you in live chat. Oh btw, Wimbelton is on bitch!!! Put the kids to bed early and I'll see you in your tennis whites on live chat tonight you big nerd. HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! In your face Learner.

Everyone has this power. The the "problem". The reason "outsiders" are hard to influence is that they didn't buy into a convention of internal power. Their buying into a materialistic world view is just as potent and magical as internal power world view. Only the person at the very highest level of development (basically not a person at all at this stage, as there is no attachment to any personality) has total influence over anything, because such person is completely beyond convention. BUT.... here is a big but. Who can meet such a person? Not someone who cannot see something beyond convention. It doesn't mean that person beyond convention can be defeated by someone who is stuck in some convention. It just means that whoever is stuck in convention will witness results appropriate to their world view. The other being -- same thing. So you can have a situation where everyone wins from their own point of view and everyone loses from some external point of view. And hypnosis is much the same power. That does not make it less valid or more valid. If you see the latest dynamic hypnotic inductions, they are wild, just like those tai chi demos. A hypnotist takes an arm of a person and just drops it straight down in a certain way and the other person is hypnotized. It's very fast and doesn't rely on many words. It's all the same power. A scientist is using the power of mind to validate a substantialist appearance. Someone else can use the power of mind to invalidate it. From the absolute point of view (if we can even say such a thing), none of those are inherently right or wrong or closer or further to reality. If you can understand this, there is really no contradiction and no need to compete and test yourself so much, unless you really want to establish yourself within convention. If you can accept that all points of view are provisional, then you can just relax and dream whatever you want, even if it's "wrong" or "insane" from some point of view.

I am often pretty free-form with my alchemy. When some energy like that appears, I try a few things: - find an "opposite" energy to balance it with - take it as my center and experience things from its perspective (might be a bit much if this is strong) - ask it what it wants - watch how it interacts with parts of me on its periphery - explore aspectis of it by allowing it to connect to dream images/places/people/history Also, the hunger maybe suggests a lack of grounding earth in the alchemy. In Winn's Sun-Moon-Earth alchemy, the connection with Earth is incredibly grounding and can make me so full that I can't eat.

Word pass that Cup this way brah. We'll drink of the living waters in a pagoda on Dragon Tiger Mountain. ... Most practices have opening and closing sequences. A pupil dilates to let in the perfect amount of light. Perhaps the brief moments that a novice or initiate spends opening, looking through, these windows and doorways into different states of mind, into different dimensions of being, only to be drawn away by "being concerned", about anything at all seems to be the practical part of the learning curve. Thinking is the boombox that drowns out the pulsating gurgling babbling gushing roaring streams of consciousness. Thoughts are the clouds floating through your internal terrain. Breakthroughs result in continued progress through peak and trough. Knowing the path enables one to summit, some travelers will meet their demise, you can only bring yourself on your journey. When you return you are different then before. By passing the space between two points you are changed. The death of ego along the way is assumed for the most part, but its also often forgotten that this gateway experience of ego death turns many travelers away. So the internal dialog must be quieted so what is actually going on can be observed, this is often a type hypnogogic state w/ a lot of potential for visualization, and which full day dreams can sometimes occur simply by "thinking" about something... these mental states seem easier to observe steadily upon waking in the morning, closely related to the wake/dream transition I suppose. If one finds themselves in this state without understanding the ramification of thought under the circumstance of egolessness; the experience may be unfortunately misinterpreted. In this example the monkey mind taking on different characteristics due to your perspective, (wake to sleep) thoughts in dreamtime turn monkeys into gorillas. Does the response to gorillas mirror your earlier responses to the little monkey while awake? Ultimately truths translate mediums. Embodiment Artforms take on deepened significance as a medium which the meditator functions within the psycho-physiological terrain of form and formlessness. Breaking for a commercial...

This is actually totally new footage. It hasn't been aired on Discovery... yet. As to the speculation about why Shifu Chang decided to let this demonstration be filmed, we need to look closely at the 'Magus of Java Story.' It's important to remember that, during the late nineties, Shifu Chang decided to break with tradition and, not only teach the practice, but allow a book to be written and begin systematically training a level four student for every continent. A nice dream... This is when his teacher raised his eyebrows, so to speak, and basically put a stop to the whole idea. Perhaps John Chang's master can see some harmful result that we cannot. I know that John Chang once discussed the collapse of the mythical city of Atlantis with his students and drew comparisons between the technology of Atlantis and Mo Pai. Whether he was just illustrating a point or speaking of the reality, who knows, but it was certainly on his mind.

I've studied both physics and taoist sciences, and the resulting paradigm I gleaned is that of co-creation, not of a creative consciousness breathing animation into its passive recipients (whether human or animal). In other words, no higher consciousness can dream me up unless I am real.

The Dog's Diary 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing! 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing! 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing! 5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing! 7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing! 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing! 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing! The Cat's Diary Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now!

You're living in a dream world, Neo?

"Again, I think there's one universe. We see it through the lenses of our system, the prism of our conditioning. For those who see outside the Tic Toc. What system helped you see beyond? How much was native talent?" thelerner. at 6 years of age, I had an experience of leaving my body and entering the center of the sun. at 13 I had an out-of-body experience during a life threatening illness.. ( I know now, as it has been stated, experience is colored by a conditioned mind.) the "tic-toc" world to me is just the everydayworld of global miasma. under, over and through all this, as it were, there is just this all vanished void. it has been this way for me for many years, an accidental expulsion from the dream state, I guess you could call it. yet the world as it is, is real enough to me to function in, yet not belong to. sorry, you asked, i answered : ) peace, paul

I'm truly, deeply sorry you had to live through this. Children are always right no matter how they deal with adults' insanity. I am always on the child's side, under all circumstances and for all purposes. When we are totally helpless and powerless against the parents' will jammed down our throats (whether harshly or gently) we do what we have to do in order to survive -- and, yes, repress our feelings, free expression of our true feelings, and eventually (or right away) our perceptions -- of everything, including our own feelings. In other words, reality. Our own reality. It's never the child's fault when she has to run away from reality -- wherever, however, inward, outward, into the unconscious, into the dream world, into a book, a TV program, a self-image of wisdom and invincibility... She has no choice. The trick so easy to fail at that most do is to stop being a child once we are no longer children. My "prescription for sanity" -- "know thyself" -- concerns adults, or people willing and able to review and reprogram the coping mechanisms they inherited from their childhood. It's not about embracing suffering, it's about embracing a chance to be real...

It's been suggested that the first victims of our actions are ourselves. My experience with this has been like so: I want something. It churns and churns inside. I get it. Temporary bliss. Then I want something else. There's that wanting again. Repeat. Every time I give into that wanting, it grows little stronger by force of habit. Just like rubbing on stone: one rub doesn't do much, but a lot of rubbing and you have a groove. It may become such a habit, like driving to work, that I don't even need to pay attention to it. My mind can wander and dream about all the things it wants while my body chases after them. Not a good thing, imo.

Warm greetings and a humble bow to you all! (Come on. Stay with me...it's not THAT long!) I am just going to write spontaneously here, I don't like this kind of thing. But I'm here for something, so I better give some pertinent details. I am going to have to make a very, very long story...very short. I'll do my best, we got time and it doesn't really matter, I guess. I am here because Spirit sent me. For some time, I have been conscious channeling. Prior to conscious channeling, I did not know anything about eastern philosophies or religions. I always considered myself a "spiritual person", but I didn't practice anything in particular other than doing psychic readings for my friends in college, spirit writing, and astral projection from time to time. Not exactly a disciplined spiritual student...hahaha. So, after receiving a Reiki attunement a couple years back, many new things happened. The energy, guides, or whatever you want to call them, began channeling through me. They sing, they dance, they speak in funny accents, they draw cool pictures, and they tell me things and teach me things, and then I go Googling in order to develop a better understanding of how such things connect to the world. Some of the things I have learned through channeling are, I think, some Qi Qong exercises. My hands are guided to do tapping and circular motions over my chakras, (I didn't know what chakras even were until this happened.) They also invoked deep breathing. I call it "belly breathing". They manipulate energy, remove icky stuff, then fill it up with lovin' stuff. I have become a spiritual healer and I pass what my guides teach me along to those I do healing for. I sense the energy, can manipulate it, remove it, and bring light in. I'm also able to intuit what's going on with a person in that way. Some other experiences that factor in...they taught me what I think is yoga, and I have also met animal guides (birds, horse, lion, most recently owl, etc...), was given a pink lotus flower, all of which led to journeying, which led me to a great Tree. I have only just begun to explore the great tree. I don't know what it means. (Is your head spinning, yet?) Essentially, I have been led to some major emotional healing through these experiences (which, I notice in reading above, are impossible to put into a paragraph or less) and this is what I help others to do, as well. I recently took a hiatus from spritual healing, because my health was affected. (Fibromyalgia.) I realize I can not enter back into it until I acquire...something...that I don't yet have. And we are leading up to why I am here! A lot of my work seems to pull me toward Hinduism, particularly to the goddess, Sita. I also think I am doing a bit of shaman-type work. Recently, though, in meditations, I am told to wield my sword, and a new guide named Jonin has come forth to bring it. I've only just begun working with him. I can not find a link through my Hindu studies there. He came to me in a dream. (I haven't Googled "Jonin"...maybe I should...hmmmm.) I am also being told it is time to embrace the fifth element. Researching "Five Elements" today led me to Taoism and then to this place. I am told that I will meet someone here...or perhaps more that one...who can bring me to better understanding of Taoism and parts of my journey and how it is important to my spiritual journey. I'm just following instruction from my guides at the moment. I am saying, "DELETE! DELETE!" And they are saying, "No...keep making an ass of yourself. It's funny." Hahahaha. I warned you, I'm a whackjob. (Not really...I'm a lover and I'm as sane as I can be considering what a day in my life is like...hahaha.) Sooooo, in summary, I guess I am here looking for some guidance on the meaning of a great tree, the five elements, and my sword and what the heck I'm supposed to be wielding with it. And any other help, guidance, friendship, unknowns, discoveries, etc...are always welcomed. Questions? Comments? Laughter? Whew...thank goodness that's over with. In Light, Amy

Thanks so much, Yuanqi, for the reading suggestions. I will check it all out. Meeting you here has been a fascinating experience. I said in my opening post that my guides told me I would meet one person here (at least) who could help me make sense of some things that are going on with me and as usual, they were right about that. You have really been helping me to open my eyes! I find it to be no coincidence that you are also Reiki attuned and know your guides, as well as your girlfriend doing shaman and energy work and working with her guides very similarly to how I work with mine. I don't know about you, but I know very few people who I can share these experiences with. Mostly, they just give me that blank stare look and the person thinks I've gone over the edge. But I have a lot in common with both of you. You arrived at the Tao Bums not too long ago, and then I showed up and there you were to help me out! Coincidence! Hahaha. I laughed at your "married/divorced, married/divorced" and how it put some things on hold for you, because I experienced the same. I was married/divorced, married/divorced, and now remarried...again. I had been studying for my master's degree in counseling psychology at the time of my second divorce, but I had to put it on hold because of it. After that, I entered into massage therapy because I wanted to get into touch therapy. There was something about sitting across the room from someone while they tell you all their problems that was just too impersonal for me. The process was too slow for me. I also had a teacher there at the time who kept encouraging me to explore Taoism, but I read the Tao Te Ching, and I just didn't get it. I now know what he was hinting at. But I left the program (and lost contact with the teacher) and I wanted to get into some kind of touch therapy (at that time I was looking into Orgone therapy). Little did I know that the reason I felt pulled into that was so that I could awaken what had been there all along. At that time, I had no idea what "energy work" or "Reiki" or any of that stuff was. I never even heard of "chakras" or any of it. Then one of my teachers at my massage therapy school was a Reiki master, and well, the rest is history. My guides have taken me through some lessons in Hindu teachings, but when my guide, Jonin, came into the picture, I felt pulled toward something else. I just wasn't sure where I was being pulled to. But having found this place, and having met you, I see that a lot of what I have been doing all along in my healing practice and self-healing is qi qong, acupressure, and spiritual healing that seems very similar to Taoist shaman work. Even the conscious channeling I do is similar to what the ancient Tao shamans practiced from what I have read, allowing the guide to enter the body and utilizing their power. I have also been doing mudras now for a while, but I didn't know what they were until you mentioned them yesterday in your post and I looked it up. I especially do mudras during self-healing meditations, different ones over different chakras usually. I had no idea what it was. I usually just let my guides take over. I got my first book on Taoism in the mail yesterday. As I read the book I have, which gives a history and overview of the various forms and philosophy of Taoism, the branch of Taoism that stood out to me most so far was Mao Shan. I don't know much about it, but I noticed that you said you do meditations from it. If you don't mind my asking, where can I learn these things? In books or school? Again, I welcome any suggestions you may have. You also suggested I read up on Five Element theory, Yin Yang, and the Trigrams??? (I don't even know what trigrams are.) Do you have reading you can suggest for me there? I know I'm making you work hard here, but there is so much information out there, I have difficulty deciphering it all, because it often feels like learning a foreign language to me, only they are concepts, not words. And also, my guides are telling me to trust you, that you are very gifted and helpful. I'm not just trying to flatter you into continuing to help me, either...lol. I have one more question. This may sound weird, but since Jonin seems to be oriented to things you know about and I don't, I'll give it a shot. When I first met Jonin in dream, we were in a place and there was butter on the counter. He said, "I can't believe you humans eat that crap." lol. He's pretty crass and doesn't mess around with fluffy words and niceties...lol. He began telling me something about excretion. I don't remember exactly what. But then he ate the butter. Then he vomited. The vomiting seemed deliberate, like he did it intentionally. I looked at him puzzled and he said, "It must come out the same way it goes in." Now, I think he may have been referring to that crappy western diet...lol. But I felt his statement about coming out the same way it goes in was very significant and that some how the human excretory system factors in. Any thoughts? Hahaha. I'm looking over my message here and I notice that my posts to you are very lengthy. Luckily, I type about 80 wpm...lol. I'm wanting to edit and delete...lol. But Jonin, especially since I was just talking about him here, is present and laughing, telling me to SEND, SEND! Thank you!

Are you very active when you zone out in front of the tube or do you sit there motionlessly? What's the difference between sitting in front of the tube for an hour and actively meditating for an hour? Anwser: in the second case, you find yourself alone with yourself. If it's as bad as you describe, really "addicted", then I really think you should break the addiction. TV has this way of bringing you further from your true center than other drugs, imo. And vicarious emotional experiences can still leave real scars. Problem is, since they have no basis in your life, they can also bring confusion and contradiction, and can become almost impossible to solve. Later you wrote: "Qigong is about working with energy. Work can be hard. I think it is important to be hard to oneself but i am not able to be it myself. If you only practice when you want to do it then surely only few would train daily for so long periods of time. Today, i forced myself to train one hour in the morning." Well, training for an hour is always good. Forcing yourself to do it.... not so good. It's a contradiction. And are you really convinced that "it is important to be hard to oneself"? Why? Where did you learn that? I really think you have to find what it is that's holding you back from pursuing what seems like a dream for you. There's some kind of blockage, maybe just old habits. Doing it on your own is probably not going to work. If you can find a decent teacher and make a commitment to a course of study, you may find yourself opening up over time. Ever thought about past-life regression therapy? It can be tricky but if you have someone very competent and loving to aid you, it can be a real eye-opener. Third-eye, too