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haha sorry bro, didn't mean to be freaky. i have a big problem with soy though.... i see it as the 'matrix' (that global elite who so seek to destroy us) method of dealing with the hippies who generally eat everything else right. i been going to a few alternative festivals lately, and alot of these hippies eat ok, lots of veggies and stuff.... but they all have way too much soy milk and tofu. you don't want to eat meat, is ok.... but soy unfortunately is probably worse than meat health wise. to be a vegetarian have to be very clever about protein intake.... good is to combine 2 of the three: nuts/legumes, grains, dairy... to get the full range of amino acids. something i have observed is young females who drink too much soy have pimples on their faces, regardless of how healthy they eat. i believe this is due to the hormonal imbalance. soy is the biggest grown crop in the world now and as a part of some scheme, all soy growers are required to donate a certain proportion (i forget the figure) of their profits to the promotion of (false) health benefits. i've recently stopped all soy, including miso (except the occassional splash of tamari in a dish.... not more, and frequently less, than once a week). p.s. carob flavoured rice dream = yummy! but i haven't drunk that in a long time either.

No, you have freaked me out now and I will be doing either water or rice dream for the liquid part. *dumps soy milk down sink*

That's right, neimad. And most the time, if you do this long enough . . . we are worth it, too. Besides, I've seen this exact same thing your speaking of in reversed roles (man and woman being the at the other end of the spectrum) There's plenty of women in my life that deserve great thanks for their lessons, here I'll speak of the easiest : My spiritual teacher of early life - constantly reminding of moralities and how savage that we are without them, what's in our power of humanity, being cheerful and strong in the times of stresses, not dwelling on or worrying about what our lives will be after death, comforting me when there was no other consolation to be found, but mostly emphasized being strong; not to fear in concepts like death, poverty, slavery, illness, solitude, danger ... because it is more humiliating and unworthy than worth giving our souls to - for you cannot be prepared to conquer fear if you've not learned, read or thought for anything before in the peaceful moments of your life when things were in balance and normality. You cannot expect them to remain there eternally, but you can do your best to adapt in situations that throw you out of this balance, certainly we are innate with amazing capabilities yet unknown to our higher selves and thinking. If you give in to fear and worry in those moments, you've drawn the conclusion for absolutely nothing about the value of life and the naturalness of death and the change of universal energies. A person who is filled with fear generally cheats life, makes excuses, dodges responsibilities, etc. ... and have not prepared theirself with a strong, true spirit for death and the exciting things to come in the following centuries ... My best friend passed on in early life : [she'd been told of a terminal disease (Leukemia) at the age of 15, and passing at age 17] Larger ones, it seems, in a special friend, a beautiful young lady with an unending smile through her tremendous pain - something more valuable than knowledge and intelligence, more precious than wisdom and maybe even perhaps a good heart or goodness itself. A kind of tact that touched on the highest acceptance of human accomplishment, a gentleness that was more invisible, colorless yet essential - warning you what is too much and too little, what's allowed and what is going too far, and the dynamic importance of the gentleness of silence. In these times of quiet where the normal conditioned human feels boredom, you should be doing of hundreds of things to fill your thought, intent, and growth within the web of the vast universe. There are little who can do these; pure and sincere goodness - conquering selfishness, despair, impatience, the many daemons that are mere reflections of ourselves . .. I spoke with her nearly every night in her 1 1/2 years of life living in a hospital, and we always spoke of something different, her listening very sharp, intent, undying... her example was incredible in that she'd had incredibly intense pain inside that she always supressed, and through her tensions and worry she was giving me this shining smiling face with no harbored feelings of resentment (for my health) or anger. She showed me the kind of patience that any human should ever dream of having. It's an ability we grab hold of at the hardest of effort because the most secret instincts of our being revolt because our time is measured ... yet it is a painfully important duty in regards to our life's work, without it there is no true creation on our part. She'd told me one night when on the subject, (I was inquiring about how she held her pain in) "being patient you often become similar to the greatness of nature and the universe" ... sadly, at that age, I'd not taken the statement fully into assessment. A shame. It's connontations are simple and profound and lend tons of thoughtful insight. Tact, gentleness, sincerety, genuinity, patience ... she'd instilled these in me with an almost subconscious manner, yet right before my eyes, I could see how they'd come to be ... - M

thanks brother. i haven't even begun to touch on my wildness yet..... the more i recover my body, the more i am able to access more fully the way i want to express myself physically... which is in craziness. I AM MONKEY! oh yeah, at the same festival i was partial to a bit of tree climbing too i love climbing stuff and am looking forward to the oppurtunity to once again engage in rockclimbing. i also have some ideas to build devices enabling me to get up those trees that don't have branches for several metres. one is with a gun, hook and rope.... the other is using some kind of 'glove' for feet and hands with metal 'claws' so i can climb up we'll see what happens in time. when i get an oppurtunity to live in the forest more then i'll begin to engage these kind of activities with more fervor. my dream: to live in a tree house

Anyone ever heard of *limerence*? It's something that affects (afflicts) men and women equally, but I as a man refuse to succumb to its lure anymore when considering women. I'll give affection and respect, *when merited*, but thanks to serious re-evaluations of my behavior and belief system, I don't feed the limerent impulses anymore: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerence On that note, it's interesting to contrast the original "Louie Louie" lyrics with the Black Flag version. Original: Three nights and days me sailed the sea. Me think of girl constantly. On the ship, I dream she there. I smell the rose in her hair. Black Flag: You know the pain That's in my heart-- It just shows I'm not very smart! ****************** I don't go around acting like some PUA, but I must say that I finally found the best female companionship of my life only after letting go of all the "sensitive nice guy" conditioning I was brought up on. Peace--it's a yang thang too! Peregrino

I mean, it's not my dream job, but I think I would be happy doing it. Anything that puts me around the intense energies of birth and death keeps my interest.

look, i'm not arguing that there isn't an alphabet to be learnt before you can create your own words.... my problem is with the methodology of learning it. this is where we have a misunderstanding between technique and mechanic. i'll try and use an example to illustrate my point: in aikido there is a technique called "kotegaeshi" which is a type of wrist lock/throw. the way it is trained is we train it repeatedly from the same attack (which may vary) i.e. we train it from a straight punch to the chest, or an overhead strike. thus we have a 'technique' we have a "when aggressor does this, you do this" scenario. the problem is that an aggressor never acts within the contexts of how we train, and we always train with compliant partners. what we end up training is someone elses definition of a reaction to an attack.... we are training how to be someone else, the particular teachers interpretation of the person who created the art. we are training to be them. the alternative is still involving the same wrist throw. but this time we dissect it and we investigate how the throw works. the throw works when the wrist is turned a certain way which essentially causes a chain of tension along the joints to lock up the elbow, shoulder and hip. we create drills to explore this mechanic and to explore how to displace an opponent by locking up the joints. we then explore this with increasing levels of stress and sophistication. there is no "if aggressor does this, we do this" scenario.... there is only an awareness of how someone can be displaced and neutralised through locking up of joints. we have within this a myriad of oppurtunities and learn to respond to each situation appropriately within the unique and ever changing event it is. what happens is that we are creatively exploring this for ourselves. we come to own this particular set of mechanics for ourselves by learning to express it in our individual way. we get the ability to create our own techniques based upon those mechanics inherent to human movement. it sounds and seems so similar, and it is. the only difference is the methodology of approaching the training. it's the difference between learning by rote, and by learning by questioning and forming opinions, hypotheses and theories and getting to test them for yourselves. learning through exploration. learning by rote you can pass an exam that requires memorisation, easily (as many of my uni exams did... i don't learn by rote though, so i never did well in these) but try and write your own opinion formed essay after you have been learning by rote for so long.... good luck to you! life (and combat) happens in the form of essays, not in the form of exams that we can walk into with a head full of facts devoid of any real understanding. in art class in high school do they ask you to paint the same picture 1000 times so you truly get the mechanics of brush stroke, texture, colouring, shading, etc? no.... we analyse the mechanics as seperate entities and then go ahead and explore them in our own creative way. if its going to be called martial arts then it needs to be treated as art. it needs to be a creative exploration of individual expression..... for that is what art is. it's not science, it's not mathematics.... it's art. why go to battle with a bunch of techniques in your hand, when you could go there equipped with the ability to create your own at will? if you are content with fitting into someone elses mould, that is your choice and i would never dream of trying to dissuade you from that. for myself i don't like being forced into a mould, i'm a funny shape and i don't fit.... no matter how hard you press! and lastly, was there any need to resort to sarcasm? i already think you are intelligent so there is no call to try to belittle me just because my opinion differs from yours. take the high and mighty ground if you like, but i'm not an opponent to be cut down... i'm an oppurtunity to learn and investigate, thats all. thats all anything ever is. for me i am very grateful for this whole discussion, it has enabled me to clarify a whole line of thought that was just waiting to click into place. so thank you for that, and blessings sean. p.s. this whole dialogue was in relation to the study of aikido... in BJJ there is a little more freedom of expression, however there are still restraints... from my point of view.

Shieky, Once again, the only reason you ask these questions is because you have no focus. WHY are you studying a martial art??? Once you can answer this question from a position of truth there will be no issue. If you want to fight in UFC, study BJJ. If you want to be a bouncer, study Aikido. WHAT do you want??? Do you enjoy contact with men? Do you want to get in shape? Do you dream of glory in the Octagon? IF you are learning martial arts for real-world application, this shit is all useless. In sport competition such as UFC and PRIDE here are a list of things that are not allowed: eye gouges testicle attacks wrist and finger attacks face locks along with many catch wrestling techniques ear attacks bites stomps (UFC) elbows (PRIDE) Joint strikes spinal strikes You know why these things aren't allowed? Because they allow someone with no training to take out all of your heroes. Ends fights in a few seconds. No $$$ can be made watching such fights. So figure out what you really want in life and just go for it.

Hahh... well that's what I am loving best about my life at the moment. Yeah, absolutely. I can picture you running something like an integral trauma center, where you can lecture to the public, help people one on one therapeutically and also train self defense skills ... all of this would obviously include a lot of writing as well, ie: preparing training materials, even writing books, etc. You know, this is really my deepest dream I think. Like one of those, if you could snap your fingers and be whatever you want kind of things ... I think I'd be a cutting edge film director. Cam, for you, I see you getting into socially conscious business, investing and philanthropy. And by socially conscious I don't even mean necessarily in an obvious way ... like "organic produce" or something. I mean just remaining conscious of how your business ventures fit in with your highest values and what you are trying to bring into the world with your business skills. I mean, now you are bringing art into the world. That is an amazing thing. And just staying connected with principles like that. I like what Tami Simon of Sounds True says about how money can't be the object, but it can't be ignored. It's the oxygen of a company, it's how it breathes and lives so that it can fulfill it's purpose of (hopefully) bringing particular values into the world. Sean

Hello Cam. I would like to give you my unique perspective on all this. And it might sound harsh, and it might sound unpleasent, but I do hope that it doesn't sound (or is) untrue. Look at your question: soul searching time... ... what is America to you ... who are WE as a nation?... Now just imagine, what would have happened if I where to write: soul searching time... ... what is Italy to you ... who are WE as a nation?... Wouldn't it feel strange? Wouldn't it feel extraneous. Being the only Italian here you might think it is only a matter of number. But I could have said: soul searching time... ... what is Europe to you ... who are WE as a union?... Because there are quite a lot of Europeans in this forum. And still it would feel strange. Or I could have asked the 'what is Italy to you' question in an Italian Forum. You know what would have happened? I would have been considered crazy. A Raving maniac. I am not making this up, this is exactly the attitude most Italian have respect to who idealises Italy. We accept this kind of phrase from the president of the republic, but only during official speach, and while he is in office. It's not that we don't love Italy. We just don't identify with it. But there is something more. We don't link our soul to our nation. Maybe you were joking, but also jokes has a line of truth. If anyone where to ask something like that as a soul searching question in Italy, he would be the joke of two generations. Still his sons at school would still get it:"And you know what your father once said... ? WaHaHaHaHa". And there is not this idealistic vision regarding Europe too. Yeah, we might have ways in which we like to procede, but there isn't this 'Europe is the greatest' belief. Belief that is as much present in the liberal as in the conservative from what I see in the USA. Ok more in the conservative, but slightly. And then there is this attitude of no one else exists. And sorry if I keep going back to your question but, I believe, it is foundamental. Was your question worded to consider people not fromt he USA. Something like: and what you Eurpean, you Australian, you Middle Eastern people think about how this nation is acting in the world. And this is why it would also feel strange if a European where to ask something like this in an international forum like this. He would surely have worder the question to consider people from other nations. From other backgrounds. And this is probably the biggest single fault that I see in American people. This attitude that ignores the existance of the rest of the world. I know you are aware of the rest of the world, but if in somthing as simple as writing a message in a forum, you forget us, what is this saying? After september 11 the article that I felt was better describing my emotions was They can't see why they are hated. (Which I invite you to read). Many things have changed, ad many American are more aware than they where 5 years ago. But the general attitude is still there, and I feel that attitude is at the core of what is happening, and has happened. Because nations seem always to get the worse government that can get away with respect to the people. And if the American people simply ignore what is the goverment doing abroad, then the government knows it can get away with many crimes. None of us agrees with the ways that Bin Laden used. But if you read his speach you realise how the root of his crime (and it was a crime!) was in previous crimes committed by the Usa. You know, in my view, why was America great, and why it isn't anymore, and also why was Hitler doom to fall, and what can you do right now. Because there is a single underlying thing which links all those together. It's called immigration and emigration. When I was a kid, America was the dream. The generation of my parents, the baby boomers, were grown up during the years of the Marshal plan. My father went to the US for 1 year when he was 16 and this gave him an extra strength in work. Knowing English well, having a view which was not limited to Italy (Europe was nothing at the time). Few people of his generation did it. But many many went abroad. How many American have a passport? How many European have been out of Europe? More. But now people are not going to the US anymore (and I lost the article describing this). Thirty years ago people would go to the US and study there. Make a master there. Sometimes a PhD. All this was a richness for the US. Now people come to Europe, go to Australia, China. I was once offered to study with one of the big guys in my field. I declined: I would have to go live in California. I don't consider my rights as a human being secure enough over there. I would feel more secure in Cuba, at least I am politically left. It's more unprobable that I would disappear. The Lord of the Rings was not shot in the US, it was shot in New Zeland. Increasingly big projects are not happening in the US. Which brings us to Hitler. Beside the invasion, the single reason why Hitler was doomed to fall, was (apart being a vegetarian, sorry I couldn't stop myself), because he made Germany a place so unpleasent to live that all the creative people, all the scientist, left. Fermi, Maiorana, Einstein, where all from Germany-Italy, and nations that were controlled by Hitler-Mussolini. But when Hitler rose the intelligentzia left. And they made the bomb somwhere else. They met all in Los Alamos, in the T-department. All together working on the bomb. But, it is not just the US right now. Also Italy. Consider this, I was educated in Italy, and now I am working in Germany. I will soon move to Dublin. The possibilities to become a professor in Italy are slim (too much political games), but I get invited here and there. Apart the problem of not finding a gf who is willing to relocate every 3 years, I am actually contributing to everybody else richness. My work is giving papers, projects, work, patents to other nations. Not to Italy. And Italy spent a huge amount of money in educating me. Think about this: There are more papers from Italian researchers aborad than from Italian researchers in Italy. Think how bad must research in Italy be. What should at this point Italy do? Russia and China faced with the same problem did not permit to people who are in their working years to leave. That is the last resort. And you are even protesting for immigration (as it is Italy). That's such a joke! I know there are different kind of immigrations, but the US became big because of all immigration, it had. So what you should do? Vote with your feet. Leave. Go abroad. Travel, and relocate. And then you will not be supporting the US anymore. You will not share the Karma. Stop identifying with your nation and identify with your planet or with the whole of humanity. Where can you be to better help humanity? And when you are physically in a nation you are supporting it.

One Small Town's Battle Against China-Mart By Ted Twietmeyer [email protected] 5-5-6 NOT IN MY TOWN? One year ago, I wrote two articles here on rense.com which were based on an MSNBC investigation of Wal-Mart's business. Incredibly, even MSNBC did an honest documentary even though everyone I spoke to never watched it. Perhaps to most people, they think these documentaries are like watching CSPAN. The articles last year covered how they used various techniques to expand their chain and how bad they treat their employees. [1] One may think that a Wal-Mart story is a local matter. Before you dismiss this, be assured that this same drama you are about to read about can be, and will be most likely will be, repeated in your town if it hasn't happened already. Like standing out in a golf course holding up a 10ft. metal pole during every thunderstorm, sooner or later Wal-Mart takeover lightning will strike a town near you. And indeed, it just has here. That cursed town-killing big-black-box store chain is planning on buying up a 56 acre parcel of prime farm land, about 15 minutes away from me. The town of Lima, NY has numerous frowning yellow smiley faces standing on many of the front lawns up and down Main St. in the town, protesting the takeover attempt. Frowning smiley face like those on front lawns on Main St. (courtesy of Google images) Tonight there was a town board meeting - and I am eternally sorry I didn't bring a camcorder. I figured I'd see a small room in the basement with a handful of people. Was I ever wrong! This meeting was held in a local mega-church which was almost filled to capacity. About 1,000 people were there, along with at least three local television stations and the R News Network. On past television documentaries, we have been led to believe that only handful of people get upset when the ChinaMart store attempts to move into a town. Often the protesters are portrayed as standing outside with placards like striking auto-workers. Not this time. Several spokespeople were there, though none were from ChinaMart. One can be certain that the store's "intelligence agents" were out there in the audience. There were some present taking notes like mad, and they left half-way through the meeting. When millions of corporate dollars are at stake, no company on earth would miss this. PRESENTATIONS There was a powerful, fact-filled presentation based upon the real facts that go with accepting the big-black-box into a town. I'll summarize some of the high points here: * The store receives 10 YEARS of tax breaks in any town it goes into, which almost always requires a zoning law variance * Store does NOT pay for added infrastructure into the community, such as increased fire and police protection * Most small Businesses DIE soon after the store is opened. It has a serious impact on grocery stores, florist shops, hardware stores, gift shops, pharmacies and more * Taxpayers must pay for additional road maintenance and repairs caused by increased traffic * School taxes RISE and business and home property values DROP. Would you buy a home beside a ChinaMart or within eye-shot if you were moving out into the country? * The store's con-men state that "480 new jobs will be created." But in reality, history has shown they may only create 70 new jobs. * Only 8% of the store's revenue benefits the local economy * Communities lose more jobs as all the local businesses die, with a typical net increase of just EIGHT $9.80 per hour jobs with little or no real benefits. In fact, most store employees receive public assistance for health care since their salaries are BELOW the poverty level and they cannot afford health insurance premiums. * If the store FAILS to generate the anticipated revenue, it will be closed. By that time, the town already stripped of it's important small businesses and their tax revenue - leaving a big, ugly empty big-box store that no one will ever buy or rent. Does any startup business need 500,000 square feet? The town's tax revenue base is destroyed, and Main St. becomes desolate with boarded-up storefronts. And the chain moves on to wreck yet another small town. My comment: Whether or not the store closes in the future, the small businesses destroyed won't be restored. Most of small town America's successful family-owned small businesses were created decades ago. That was when the average CITIZEN could realize the dream of owning their own business and doing well at it. Today, startup capital to begin any business (especially in manufacturing) is almost non-existent. And it's well know among entrepeneurs, that banks only loan money to people that really don't need it. But wait - this big-black-box story is about to get even more interesting.... TOWN BOARD CORRUPTION BY WAL-MART? It appears that perhaps the one person that could be behind disolving the town's Master Plan planning board may be the town's attorney, although it wasn't specifically stated. And here's why - it was announced in this same meeting that this attorney has "stepped out of the decision-making process because of his past ties to Wal-Mart" according to the board's chairman. Is it also a coincidence that the store wants to come to this town? WHAT THE PEOPLE HAD TO SAY The last segment of the meeting allowed anyone to come up to the stage and speak for a few minutes. I live in a nearby small town, and I didn't want to take precious time away from those who are impacted by this incursion. My purpose there was to see what actually unfolds at one of these meetings, first-hand. Most of the people who spoke had brilliant, well thought out remarks. No stone was left unturned and I salute them for it. The town's Master Plan planning board was working for 7 years on a Master Plan for residential and business development. One woman who spoke which lives in the town, announced the dissolution of the town's Master Planning Board. Everyone was shocked, in disbelief and quite upset. Hundreds yelled out demanding answers with "Why? WHAT? HOW COME?" The entire town knew that countless hours were spent on creating that plan. The board chairman then literally yelled over the sound system "now calm down, I'll explain. We're going to hire a consulting firm to review the 7 years of work." Another woman then yelled out, "is that going to be a local firm?" He wouldn't answer her, and everyone knew what that meant. She asked again and the people demanded an explanation. The zero-tolerance chairman then threatened, "I'll close this meeting right now if you don't keep quiet." Incredibly, some people clapped at that threatening remark. Apparently some enjoy that warm, cozy feeling that only a high-voltage shock from a cattle prod can give. Is it a coincidence that 7 years of planning work was just tossed out like last week's milk? It doesn't appear to be that way -especially that now is the time for board members to make a decision. All the surrounding towns already have plans in place to prevent this kind of corporate takeover. Someone should be watching all the board member's bank accounts for large deposits, and their yards for new pools, SUVs and RVs. Several residents looked right at the board only a few feet away on stage and called dissolving the Master Planning board "criminal." Many testified of the damage the store would do to their property values. The lost property equity could never be recovered, even if the store were to close. Many others could easily see a sharp increase in property and school taxes, as the multi-billion dollar store chain will receive 10 YEARS of tax breaks. TEN YEARS! Only one person talked about how "wonderful it would be to have the store in Lima." She was repeatedly booed by everyone. Another man spoke, and closed his remarks with "we have found the weapons of mass destruction, and it is Wal-Mart." Many who spoke received standing ovations accompanied by a deafening applause. Another lady however, had it all thought out. She proclaimed to the board, "if you approve this, then there is no reason to give them a tax break. You should tax them at the HIGHEST possible rate." That created a loud applause. Testimony went on into the late evening, with many voicing their concerns over the many negative factors associated with this attempt at a corporate takeover. One man noted that the land is a protected area under NY State Dept. of Environmental Conservations regulations because of streams and creeks in the immediate area, and cited the law chapter and verse. Of course, if you or I wanted to build a home on any protected land, we would never receive a building permit. In THREE different directions from the town of Lima, NY, there is already a ChinaMart and two of them are "super-centers." Each one is only about 10 to 15 minutes away from where the new store will be. Will Mars have one on it, too? THE BATTLE ISN'T OVER YET This coming week, the big box chain will have their 15 minutes of fame at a local country club (tonight's meeting was held in a very large church.) I'm planning on attending, if they allow my trouble-making self past their sentries. I will attempt to obtain some digital footage of the big store's BS session. I'm willing to bet they will be serving "refreshments" to butter everyone up, complete with Sam's club aspartame-laced diet soda. Perhaps my wife should be home to receive my one phone call when they haul me away. I'm one of those weird people that doesn't carry a cell phone - I've read the research reports and know what RF does to people. This isn't just about a small town's battle - it's a battle that will come to everyone's door sooner or later. The chain has big plans to cram one of these small town killing stores into almost every town in America, whether they want it there or not. If the US is taken to condition red and rationing is started - would not the military step in and take over the biggest national store chain for their own purposes? They already have the distribution system in place. There is also a special section in the mile-square headquarters of the chain, which is off-limits to most employees. The sign says "Homeland Security." Is it any wonder that they will try to put one of these stores in every town - just for that terrible day? For more about saving small businesses see [2]. Film at 11... Ted Twietmeyer Please help support the ground-breaking work of www.data4science.net by buying your copy online of the book with more than 160 images, "What NASA Isn't Telling You About Mars" at www.bookonmars.info [1] Article links to documented stories about Wal-Mart: Part 1 - http://www.rense.com/general65/lips.htm Part 2 - http://www.rense.com/general65/mart.htm [2] - http://www.newrules.org/retail/

The only reason I am sensitive to this is one of my teachers went through a major crisis in which he had to have people constantly watching him so he wouldn't harm himself. He described it like the infinite was jealous of the finite because it was the one thing it couldn't be (the infinite can't be finite). Those forces were expecting him to be the bridge and he wasn't grounded enough to handle it. Michael Winn helped him out. Michael told him that he doesn't teach individually but he would make an exception for him because he had a dream about him. The Waking Down guys helped him out with their transmissions and he had his Second Birth (a waking down term to describe when you know beyond a doubt that you are consciousness yourself). They talk about being embodied and rotting into your emotions. I think that was the point when he got his trust back. As for me...I love the Healing Tao stuff. I took the fundamentals 1-4 course last year and I am going for 3 weeks this year. The earth's energy is so nurturing and it has helped me to feel my emotions deeply and feel stronger. I am highly kinesthetic so feeling the different flavors of energy is not difficult at all. I tried a few phone calls with a waking down guy named Krishna Gauci last year and I have never vibrated at a rate like that in my life...all from gazing at a picture I emailed him. For 2 weeks the energy wouldn't stop churning up emotions...occasionally I would feel something shift but there was no break. In the end it kind of freaked me out so I stopped. Now I am much more grounded but I find the Fusion methods to be a lot more gentle. I guess that is the reason I am cautious with spirituality.

Hi Affenbrot, of course artists have goals. I'm sure everyone has heard that goals are SMART..meaning specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and have a time component (i.e. 'in 2 months'). Of course if you dream up a goal that is not achievable or realistic, you will feel bad. But another thing you mentioned..about feeling tension..tension is necessary. We need tension. Being spiritual is not about wandering around. I think someone mentioned something about being slothful. I'm reading an interesting book about Genes right now that I should go run up and get the title. But basically this scientist is saying that our Gene expression is not so determined and can change based on our environment..meaning environmental stressors (including our mind and emotions) can bring out talents. But it's very interesting to hear general agreement between the lines that there is some kind of conflict between being spiritual or artistic and being business like. I don't see the conflict. THere are ample opportunities for personal growth and spirituality in the workplace. T

Interesting topic. I know much less on Castaneda life, but I did make up my mind. The story is made up. No doubt about that. But I don't think he did it with ill intentin at the beginning. I do recall reading a site saying how the first book was mostly written as a tongue in cheek joke. But then it had success. And this brings on problems. Because it is not easy in this world to be satisfied with your job. So he might have found himself at different point in his life with no job or dream or guide or whatever. Essentially lost. And if anything like that have happened the memory of the success that his previous books had would have been a grear source pushing him toward continuing the trend. We all need to eat, although not all of us accept to lie to eat. Think about how often have you found someone having success with a book and then writing others, just at a very lower quality. I think the only book worth something is his third book, ... to ixland. And I still suggest it specifying that is the only one worth something and that the facts are actual fiction. If you take that book and you dissect it you have 3 type of experiences. Stories of power his interaction with Don Juan, description of energetic excercises, and pieces of philosophy. The first is probably made up to make the book more interesting and explain his point, the second is not learnable through a book, and it seem that it was mostly taken by his energetic teacher (H. L. Howard Lee?), but the third is really interesting. Where does that come from? Well, do you remember that C.C. was doing a PhD thesis in his first book, right? Well the professor was: Erving Goffman (according to a friend of mine who used Castaneda stuff for some time, before deciding it was pseudoculture and not culture). Now Goffman book titles are: The presentation of self in everyday life; Frame Analysis: An Essay on the Organization of Experience; Strategic Interaction, and others Can you see how they might contain the philosophy that Castaneda was presenting. I have tried to look at those books, but they seem to be REALLY hard to understand. And it is not a matter that it is academic and I am not use to academic, because I work at the uni. It is that 'anthropological academy' is generally written in a very obscure way. Often to obfuscate the fact that some of the things said are quite obvious. And then the whole field followed the trend. So I am sure some (most?) of the meat is there. Just unavailable for most people. Well Castaneda has been able to make some parts of it available so much that other teachers do refer to it. I think this is good, and probably it was part of his ming. But I would love to know more about the origins of his philosophy and where to get that.

Sorry. I Just check the forum once a day. My loss. Once you come you thread upon your principles. In various ways. First of all most of us are not able to have properly sex WITH their body, but would instead have sex to the fantasies. This brings two problems: 1) you are getting your hormonal to fire on some fantasies, thus confusing fantasy and reality 2) often the conjured fantasies would balance some deep internal need. A person who feel powerless in his life might dream to be an all powerfull god. Or viceversa, a manager to whom this society have given more power than what he can safetly handle might dream to be a slave. There is a nice story in chuang tzu about this. And I have personally read blogs of prostitutes describing this as a common partner among their clients Often in thos fantasies a person might do things they wold never do in real life. This creates a fracture between their higher shen (who would not do those actions) and their pulsion (who just need to balance themselves, quite mechanically). Recovering this fracture is a major step that needs to be adressed in order for the crisis to be over. All this does not happen if you just have sex with your body remaining present in reality all the time. If your body REALLY needs to release (i.e. empty the balls) it become quite possible, but if you are using sex compulsively to balance some deeper problems, it will just not work. And if you force your mind to remain in reality, as soon as you come you will have lost part of your power and the compulsion will kick in. Or you simply feel that whatever needed to be balanced by the ejaculation, that every other time got balanced, is not getting balanced this time. And this bring to the positive side of ejaculation with fantasy: your mind expands, and your nervous system releases all the tension gathered. The fact that the nervous system need to be relaxed is maybe the biggest single thing that gets adressed in the water method and totally ignored in the HT. The inner smile is supposed to do that, but for most people it just doesn't. The fact that we need to let our mind expand, especially after hours passed in front of a computer, and release our tension is a big reason why most people in modern time are compulsive about sex with sexual fantasies. Then to complete the topic about how ejaculation shakes the relation between higher self and lower self, there is the whole issue of expectations: most practitioners have irrealistic expectation about their ability to retain. Also because they adopt the indian philosophy of practicing as their (head!) hair were on fire, they would actually do 150% of what their retention ability actually is. Where 100% is how far you can reach _in_a_safe_way_. Now, once you reach 100% something kicks on, and greed start to push you. Now you are really moving your boundaries on. In this sense reaching 100% is bad news. But it feels so much as good news. Then when they invariably fall, not only they ejaculate, but this break their dream of invincibility. And this harms them even more then the loss of jing. Suddenly they feel human again. And mortal. For them they will feel back whole when they recognise the ejaculation as their error, and recover their illusion of invulnerability. But as you can imagine this is just temporarily, and what all this yoyo movement does thrugh the years is to split the mind. It is a road to insanity. Let's clarify, not for all. Some are naturally chaste (Fajin from the other board comes to mind, although I don't really know), and some are just not interested anymore in sex (Harry Pain might be a good example here). But when chastity is taken in the wrong way or at the wrong age or for the wrong reasons, troubles awaits. But this splits between your higher self and your lower pulsion is much harder to really heal. I myself am not over it yet, so I have a hard time in explaining. My guess is that it require to adopt the 70% philosophy here too. Having a strong commitment to not pushing yourself over that limit. So if you can have retention safetly for 2 weeks only do it for 10 days. The chose to come. And since you chose to do it, you might even do it while keeping your mind in reality. And once you can do 10 days with no effort (which means 14+1 in a safe way) strive to do 11 days. And since you have chosen to come after 10 days you have not broken your vow by coming. So the hormonal have kept respect for the shen and only fired after the vow was over, on the other hand the shen have respected the hormonal by not taking a vow that was irrealistic, dangerous, greedy and stupid. And everybody is happy. Does this answer your question Thaddeus? Pietro

I concur,youve summed up both drugs & Watts just fine.Im actually pretty much in awe of Watts & his life,especially considering the personal history & social environment he had to deal with.I just think it was a genuine tragedy that he couldnt deal with the selfhate that drove his alchoholism.Hed got as far as being able to admit it, "I dont like myself when Im sober",but couldnt address it.Everyone demanded that he be this flawless guru,& supporting his family came to depend on that role,He must have been very isolated Its quite saddening,the way we can enthusiastically dehumanise someone by putting them on a pedestal.Still,he was a crucial catalyst,a remarkable trailblazer,and I cant say the same for myself Regards,Cloud. I think I should apologise for my pedantic obsessions here Cam I certainly seem to have got off topic I did have a dream enlightenment about 5 years ago,but unlike you,I wasnt really able to bring it into the waking state & its bugged me ever since So Ill just stew in my own envy for a while longer Regards,Cloud.

written by T. Luis Cox (posted with permission) Canto Thirteen: A Consort's Arrival Wherein Yeshe Tsogyal first encounters Padmasambhava, the glorious Lotus-Born One So vast, how phenomena stretched out before him, centerless, his own form occupying the radiance of space like a music taking shape, a tongueless bell- he'd become what he'd always been, the humming clarion of atoms breaking into fire, an unborn appearance, a mist of ice and light veiling the Himalayas. He took in her long shadow through eyes the width of space itself, its undulation up snow an avalanche frosting his eyebrows. His khatvanga, tipped with icicles, glowed with a forge's iron, each of its three prongs sporting a dismembered head, one freshly severed, another desiccated, rotting, the last a bleaching skull. The shadow of a woman fell across snow in a lingering sunlight, a cold made of iron. It had a mountain's countenance, how it obliterated the moment between her stride and her arrival, a frost- bitten girl turning blue in a Himalayan gale, warming in the heat of a khatvanga drenched in steam and blood. 'Are you he?' she asked, remembering the long road behind her, touching and bowing her forehead to his feet burning away the snow. 'I'm the queen of Tibet Trisong Desutsen saw fit to offer to you, great Master. Will you have me?' Padmasambhava's lungs filled with a mountain's flanking gust, for a moment his legs draping over a Hell realm's battlefields, where hell-beings not quite human yet with legs and arms and faces pitched with a rage of murderers and tyrants, swung axes and blades, spinning and hurling themselves, a blackening foam of lava underfoot, a dream of appendages scattered across a horizon's infinite event Yeshe Tsogyal lifted her head from the shale of a mountainside and saw for the first time the irises of eyes that boiled with suns, a face that fell away into caverns and peaks as though there were no sky, no earth, no night, no grieving, no happiness, no day to measure with sand. Her body sang with a dakini's luminescence, in each grain of soil under her feet the very fire of her heart, an eddying maelstrom opening up under her - and she fell! fell until she caught against what seemed to be branches, thorns tearing at her until her clothes were rags, until she was naked and sprawled across a volcanic landscape. She was there, among them, in Hell, its sky gleaming starlessly, as though a sun about to explode filled its diameter, its light searing into her eyes with a diamond's perfect hardness, burning up and melting away the many limbs and torsos and skull-fragments of those condemned for kalpas heaped upon kalpas to this groundless furnace, this realm made by anger. She couldn't stand. She lay in a crumpled fetus, the taste of carbon staunching her lips and tongue, her knees sharp against her rib-cage, her nerves like phurbas into her heart's veins at the stench of an atmosphere made oxygenless, fetid by the blood sizzling in every outcropping and molten depression, alive with an awareness of pain so acute it defied sentience, reason, life. Even blood suffered here. Even what raised itself up vanished into fire's edge. 'Revive, revive, revive!" resounded a voice overhead, and suddenly Yeshe Tsogyal found herself upright, transfigured, as though she'd been given a new form, and all around her lumbered ten-feet high hell-beings, their necks and arms corded with blue veins pulsing in a network stemming from their hearts, each beat a curdling tympanic pealing of ten thousand drums so large any other world would have been dwarfed by their echoing alone, a percussion of tissue contracting, expanding, the ground lurching with their reverberations. They stood momentarily still, taking in their sentiences. Yeshe Tsogyal looked off across a field rolling away, no more than ten feet between each of them in a mosaic of skin swimming with fire, hairless, rippling; she grew bright, incandescent, where they began to wield their blades against each other, blood fountaining, in every direction; and the screaming, the boundless pain, more sharp than any suffering throughout all six realms, filled her ears with an agony that broke down sentience itself, had her grasping where there was no air. Arms, legs, fingers, hands writhed with a life of their own, again melting away, again taking shape around her in multitudes, again a war overtaking all thought. She stood there for a hundred million kalpas, all in the instant of her first glance into the motes of Padmasambhava's eyes, where she saw herself rising again to her feet to meet his immutable gaze. * And what a height it was. The roof of the world fell far below, the slight ridges of mountain ranges swelling along the skin of the earth like an old warrior's scars, while her feet sank into lava's intemperate corridors, a hungry ghost's ashen landscape, an animal's suffocating den. Her breath blew across continents, calming the oceans. Her eyes were space itself, the breadth of appearance in each atom's fluctuating retina, dissipating nexus. Matter melted in her mind like ice, her cloud-lungs growing heavy with moisture, flocks of geese and duck migrating across her sternum-horizon, a blizzard mounting its wings from the rooftop of the world. She felt for her face and her hands disappeared into the storm beginning to whip snow around them, the shapes of snow lions emerging out of drifts, a wind's voice containing the register of all mantra, a lattice of dorjes woven together by fire in a canopy over their heads, a wide-brimmed parasol, ornate with lotus blossoms and dharma-wheels, spanning the gulf between mountain ridges. Night was falling when Padmasambhava opened his cloak and walked out onto a plateau overlooking Tibet, taking from behind its folds a golden phurba enclosing them in a sphere of light, uttering in a voice made of talons and iron forges, "Om Vajra Kili Kilaya Sarva Bignan Bam Hung, Phet!" He flung the phurba up in the air, where it broke into lightening, and there Vajrakilaya, a blue, three-headed, six-armed, in a mandala of fire, careened and stamped, a light-body dancing in a blizzard's spiraling snow, his roar melting the frost along Yeshe Tsogyal's hem. He turned to her, glowering. His blue cheeks puffed out and a wind swept up a mountainside, nearly throwing, her to her knees, and he rose up like a mountain's precipice, rolling into his lowest pair of hands a phurba cut from ice, holding aloft a clutch of fire, a scepter, a pair of dorjes, a garuda arcing overhead in a mandala to seal air to stone. Padmasambhava held Vajrakilaya in his palm. His forehead grew smooth with the fire of a wrathful deity's vanishing descent into Yeshe Tsogyal's crown. * When the air had grown calm again, and the sun had begun its ascent up a ladder of stars shining with snow, refracting in each flake a source's vagrant singularity, Padmasambhava smiled. Here was the vessel he'd been waiting for, a stainless ivory, a milk's conjugal mingling with its container as it was about to be poured from one pitcher to another, a sunlight grown in liqid in its ripening into amrita, a sun resting on the meniscus of a horizon like an egg waiting to crack and fill all sentient beings with an endless expanse. She fell to one knee, clasping her hands at her heart. 'I am a simple girl from Kharchen, whose only wish is to abide in you, O great Guru! I offer you the coure of my body, speech and mind, until all beings have passed from all the realms into your groundless Light!' Padmasambhava looked out over Tibet, a conch held to his lips with the slenderest of gravitas, the stem of a lotus trailing through its coiling spirals, petals emerging out of its mouth into morning light suffused with Om Ah Hung, thickets of orchids and kusha grass, galaxies in thistle seed securing the breath of the wind that blew and blew a pure note, a sun's deliverance.

More manifesting news. Early this week I wanted to collect some rock songs w/ the theme of dreaming in them. Something to listen to at night, maybe help my dream work along. The next day I saw a compillation album, all dream songs and on sale Strange. Michael

I was raised Catholic and so all I knew when I was growing up was 2nd person relationship with God. I prayed and my family and community prayed so my first spiritual experiences were in this 2nd person context. One of the first things that struck me about Eastern wisdom when I began studying it was God as 1st person. I was blown away. God is inside of myself, not an anthropomorphized man in the clouds. Christians were stupid, creating a duality by projecting their fantasies onto an image that comforts them. This is what I thought. And I noticed how resistant most Christians I talked to were to the idea of the ultimate, true identity of Self as God. Later I came across various systems theories, Taoism, Spinoza ... God in 3rd person as the harmonious balance of everything and nothing. 2nd person looked even stupider now. I couldn't believe people prayed. What a fantasy. Buddhists are scientists. Christians are so lost in metaphors. Now I am starting to come full circle. I've noticed that many of the mystics I am drawn to the most, while having a deep experience and understanding of nonduality, still manage to preserve a sacred "other" to pour out poetry and song to. To Love. And it's not in a way that is creating duality. It's in a way that holds all three perspectives. It's from a 1st person nondual perspective that we can say, I Am God worshipping mySelf. And from a 3rd person perspective, we can see that we are an interdependent hologram in God's Mind. And also from the 2nd person, we can, mysteriously and actually (not metaphorically) relate with God even as God and inside God. Each of the three perspectives has a valid critique of the others. Because they are only perspectives they are limited. The ability to hold and fluidly move through all three is a fuller kind of enlightenment IMO than rejecting one because of it's shortcomings. I'm really seeing what Buber means ... I'm really thinking that it's only when we deeply respect and commune in 2nd person that we begin to treat "others" as holy. Think about it. If we are only hanging out in 1st person I Amness, than other people you relate with are not really real, they are just illusions dancing on the surface of Consciousness. Hopefully that perception also extends backward enough to include yourself or you are in big trouble, but either way, from this perspective, it's all just a dream. In 3rd person everything is objectifed. Maybe everything is a big energy field folding on itself, reflecting itself. You notice the alchemy of your chi field and another coming together and effecting themselves, the environment. But it's only in 2nd person that God can be seen as a mysterious "other". God as so free from duality, that God can move in and through duality unscathed. I think this is realy when we can see manifestation as a celebration of form instead of a dream or a mistaken perception. Maybe you think I am overthinking this one. It's simpler than this, Sean, stop thinking so much. But I am describing perspectives that already exist, not inventing filters. 1st, 2nd, 3rd person are really basic features of consciousness and it would make sense for perceptual blind spots to arise from avoiding one, strongly favoring another, etc. My concern though is how to have a 2nd person relationship with God that is not part of the problem. That is not in danger of becoming part of an ethnocentric, fundamentalist mindset. I mean, we've gotten pretty heated in even just this community disagreeing on merely theoretical considerations of emptiness vs. subtle body work, etc. ... imagine how much is added to the fire when people are communicating with God in different styles, using different names, feeling like they are being told things that they then interpret in their own tradition ... and they start trying to discuss these things with very few higher intellectual tools or distinctions. Sadly that's how wars start. Sean

Trunk, I'm sorry I wasn't trying to say you were wrong. I was just trying to say to Cameron that he is right too. I can only talk for my own path here, I don't and can't understand anyone else's path, so please forgive any mistakes. My path is very simple, I have two meditations which I do everyday, then I do tai chi chuan. So for me the article makes no difference, it will change nothing for me. I will still do my two meditations everyday, and I will still do tai chi chuan everyday. If I were doing many meditations as with healing tao practitioners then an article like this may encourage me to tune the time I was spending doing one meditation, or maybe I would make some other sort of changes. I am not walking that path, and do not understand it. I gave it up because it didn't work for me. That isn't to say it is wrong, I just can't handle it... I remember a time when I loved to read articles like that, but now I can't... For me simple practice that I don't even have to think about is what it is about. I have found with nothing in my head (but awareness?), knowledge presents itself, I don't go anywhere for it, and I have the benefit of having a teacher who if there is anything that I must know, he will just give it to me at the right time. Sometimes in meditation a question will arise, then either be answered or dissolve and I will know it is unimportant. People practice dream yoga, sexual practice, this that... I practice two seated meditations, and the sexual practice has come on its own, and I am starting to regularly have strange experiences waking up in dreams, or waking up in my body and finding I can't move, I've had an experience of falling into my body from sleep, but these things are all just side effects of the path I've been walking. I have found the only compromise I've had to make is to give myself up, and let the dao live me. But I haven't fully realised that, in fact my realisation of it is extremely shallow. To me the more simple the realisation the more truth it has for me. Please don't assume from any of this that I am far down the path, because I am not. I'm experiencing a few beginning stage things, and my teacher's realisation is so far beyond me I cannot comprehend it. The further I walk the further I realise he is ahead. Let me reemphasise that I don't understand anyone else's path. A lot of guys here seem to walk an intellectual path, and I think that can work too, it's just I've never met anyone who has realised themselves by working on details and goals, but I'm sure it is possible. My path has just been letting go of anything too technical, making the meditation my own, and letting it be, letting myself be. I won't say anything about your path, except that I don' t understand it, and I hope you forgive any lack of humility. Before I was walking my path I had a bit too much psychic sensitivity I guess, when I walked in crowds I became very uncomfortable picking up on other peoples feelings - I became shy, I could tell a lot about a person from looking at them, and I had some strange meditative experiences when I was young like feelings of movement and space in my body, strange sensations, strange tastes and feelings that have only started to present themselves again now. (My teacher has said I practiced in my last life, but he has a great sense of humour and I have no idea whether he was joking or not.) This is why I work to keep energy grounded and lower in my body, my sensitivity and vulnerability is greater than a lot of people, so I work to keep my energy down. Thinking too much would cause too many troubles. Thinking too much is part of my makeup, and something that through my meditation work has improved significantly (though I have so far to go). Allan

It's an interesting debate. Since you mentioned Ueshiba, I was fortunate enough to learn from some of his direct disciples on and off for several years(I no longer practice Aikido and switched to BJJ). From my experience, his direct disciples had a quality and presence/energy etc that was totally unique. They sometimes would tell stories about daily life with the master that went beyond what a 'normal' student that only goes a couple classes a week or whatever would do. For example, I remember Chiba Shihan once gave an interview where he talked about how one of his best teachings with O'sensei was when he would carry his luggage around Tokyo. He said O'sensei had this abilty wherever he walked, even on a busy crowded Tokyo street, the crowds would magically open up before him. It was this quality of presence that just seemed to make others either get out of his way or adjust themselves. This extra exposure is probably one of the benifits of studying with a great master. I don't know if it is so much getting the 'secret teaching' as much as just being around the guy more, seeing how he interacts in everyday life etc. Probably those other 'special' teachings just come about naturally from having a direct, personal realationship with another human being(in this case a spiritual or martial arts master etc). Actually, Pietro's teacher Bruce has just about the most amazing story of anyone you can read about it in his books how he was a strong 'external' karate champion then came into contact with O'sensei in Japan and was like " Fuck! What is that!" Then(from what he says) studied with O'sensei a couple years. When O'sensei died Bruce says none of his students had his level of chi or whatever(having studed with several of them I would say they had poweful qi but I never met O'sensei who was probably on another level) So Bruce went to China for like 10 years or something and trained with alot of top internal fighters until the amazing story of meeting Liu who only taught him because he had a dream! in any case, whether this is 100% true or not Bruce certainly was deticated and basically committed his life to finding a true master, which it sounds like he did. Maybe becoming a 'disciple' or whatever invovles having this deep desire to learn more. Or maybe it is completely unneccisary but just a fun/interesting personal karma conenctions.

Talking about being awake when asleep, we're also asleep when we're awake. In a good article on Waking Sleep (The structure and dynamics of waking sleep) Charles T. Tart cites Gurdjief's premise that we're asleep all the time. "WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE IN A STATE OF WAKING SLEEP? We can say that "Man is asleep" in the overall sense that an individual in an ordinary, culturally "normal" state of consciousness is: a) unaware or only partially aware of important objects, people and processes in his or her immediate environment. b. unaware or only partially aware of important, sometimes vital talents, processes, and events within his or her own being. If this were all there was to our initial definition of being asleep, we could more simply call it "ignorance", and straightforward efforts at education would be the remedy. Therefore we must add: c) man habitually and automatically spends an enormous amount of time in daydreams and delusory belief systems about himself and his world; that is, man walks around in a kind of waking (day)dream; d) man is strongly and emotionally attached to and defends many of his dreams and delusory belief systems; and e) man significantly distorts his perceptions of his world and his self, usually in a manner that subjectively supports his daydreams and delusory belief systems. As a consequence of being asleep in this sense, of usually being in what I have elsewhere termed consensus trance we undergo an enormous amount of suffering." So delusion has active aspect to it then?

We have such a funny connection, Max. I was sitting in a hot bath after I wrote this thinking, dammit! but there are eg. Zen masters who achieve enlightenment from the sound of a pebble hitting a bamboo shoot, that doesn't mean listening to pebbles hitting bamboo shoots will lead to enlightenment! It's a good point. Still, I go back to my "conditions vs causes" point. Perhaps emptiness practice is the most important condition, but many schools like the six Yogas of Naropa and the eight limbs of classical Yoga have many branches of conditions that support, balance and arguably accelerate emptiness practice. From my research I believe Dream Yoga can be utilized as skillful means and not merely addictive entertainment.

Dusum Khyenpa reached enlightenment WHILE doing dream yoga, not because of it. You can read more about all the training he had here: http://www.kagyu-asia.com/l_kar1.html

Dream Yoga is one of the six Yogas of Naropa, a complete system of Tibetan cultivation. One of the early Kagyu lineage holders, Dusum Khyenpa, achieved enlightenment through dream yoga. It's a very powerful metaphor for waking up. Of course any practice, including emptiness meditation, can be an addiction in the service of entertainment. Sean PS - KoHsuan, I think registration is over. I've been too busy to follow through on the course so far so maybe next session we should sign up earlier and many of us can do it together.