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I do feel sensations of extreme sensitivity. Feels like electrical current running trough my heart. I can choose to feel them, I can focus it on diffrent parts of the body. I just got the ability to do that one day, no idea why. I noticed sensitivity to sound with these sensations, when I choose to become sensitive. No idea how I do it, I just make an effort to feel them and eventually I do. I also feel this when trying be more present minded. I perform better on many thing when I do this. When I initiate a dream from a conscious state of mind it feels like my body is tuning in to another frequency, or something like that. I feel vibrations alot. The vibrations slowly calm down and the dream fades in like a tuner reaching a radio station. You even hear the vibrations, bzzz, and slowly fading away the more the dream fades in. Is that what you mean with vibrations or energies? Its funny, cause today I have chosen to feel this allot to explore it further and you ask me about it ^^

When Master Chuang went to Ch'u, he saw an empty skull. Though brittle, it still retained its shape. Master Chuang tapped the skull with his riding crop and asked, "Did you end up like this because of greed for life and loss of reason? Or was it because you were involved in some treasonous affair and had your head chopped off by an ax? Or was it because you were involved in some unsavory conduct, shamefully disgracing your parents, wife, and children? Or was it because you starved or froze? Or was it simply because your time was up?" When he had finished with his questions, Master Chuang picked up the skull and used it as a pillow when he went to sleep. At midnight, the skull appeared to him in a dream and said, "Your manner of talking makes you sound like a sophist. I perceive that what you mentioned are all the burdens of the living. When you're dead, there's none of that. Would you like to hear me tell you about death, sir?" "Yes," said Master Chuang. "When you're dead," said the skull, "there's no ruler above you and no subjects below you. There are no affairs of the four seasons; instead, time passes leisurely as it does for heaven and earth. Not even the joys of being a south-facing king can surpass those of death." Not believing the skull, Master Chuang said, "If I were to have the Arbiter of Destiny restore life to your physical form, to give you back your flesh, bones, and skin, to return your parents, wife, children, and village acquaintances, would you like that?" Frowning in deep consternation, the skull said, "How could I abandon 'the joys of a south-facing king' and return to the toils of mankind?"

What you mean is perhaps the nothingness that initiates the light. The darkness from which light originates. In the psyche this can be seen as the subconscious. This pattern of the underworld can be interpreted in many ways. The void might be an interpretation from the emerald tablets of toth, which speaks of the underworld. I personally think this void does have thoughts, it just lets go of external reality. You become a nothing entity in void space, in complete darkness. It is a gateway. From this place you are initiated into life, to be reborn again. Becoming aware in between the dreams during sleep is the key you seek. Deep sleep is like the void. Here dreams and reality is born. The darkness is followed by images and sounds. The dream arises, you enter the dream world. The goal however is to get lucid during deep sleep, for if you can do that you can initiate yourself into life and you become immortal in a sense. You can enter the dream lucid everytime you sleep. The void is spiritual mastery and the light is material mastery. Or something like that. They're part of each other. Experience them appart from eachother, in their extremes, and you can merge them to form a perfect balance. That you may opperate in this life from the void. Thats the alchemical mechanics. This is just my current thoughts about it. Might be complete BS. This samadhi you speak of might be an interpretation of the Halls of Amenti. "A hundred times ten have I descended the dark way that led into light, and as many times have I ascended from the darkness into the light my strength and power renewed." The void, interpreted as deep sleep, is known in science to regenate the body and muscles. Healing. There are many ways to look at it I guess. We all make our own interpretation. I don't know what kind of void you seek. I believe that physical death also plunges you into the void. Perhaps studying darkmatter brings us closer tk the void.

Hi Creation, It can. It does for me. Anyone who has read my book knows that I am a follower of the Gnostic Christ. I even go on to say in my book and my podcast that I believe that if European spirituality had not been hijacked by the altered Imperial version of Christianity (not the actual message of Jesus) and European tribes had been allowed to create their own spirituality organically (instead of having it forced upon them under pain of death) that IMO, I believe that European paganism would have absorbed Jesus into their pantheons in the same way that buddha was absorbed into the Hindu pantheon. I am certain that if allowed to evolve organically modern european religion would be polytheist religion similar to hinduism with Jesus as another supreme deity figure along with Odin, Thor etc..., just as Krishna and Rama today are seen as different aspects of the incarnation of Vishnu. It was the literal dualist dogma interpretation of the Imperial State sponsored church that mandated the destruction of holographic sects of christianity. In fact, I am currently working on the linguistic similarities between the pre-hindu vedic religion and the pre-Christian Teutonic religion. And, the deeper I dig, the more astoundingly clear it is to me that the Vedic deities are the same as the Teutonic ones. The only slight difference is due to the change of pronunciation over time. The hindu religion has no problem with Jesus. The hindu religion is an organic evolution of the Vedic. So, if hindu religion can incorporate or at least accept the validity of Jesus, so can the Teutonic. That is a very common reaction by many people. I often get inquiries from people asking if they can be a christian and practice teutonic shamanism. The answer is absolutely. I had the same feeling as you at first, but after more meditative journeys about this, I have been given the opposite feeling that the Teutonic path and the path of the original Jesus is totally compatible... My experience of the Astral teachers is that there is not the separation that we experience. IME, They do not see religions or lineages like we do. IN fact, I have more than once gotten a reaction of confusion if I ask a question that supposes a division. I have also gotten the feeling that they have had to show alot patience tolerating my limited dualistic human thinking. They allow me to use the "word" Teutonic because they know I and some other humans need to make a distinction in order to have a frame a reference. But the deities do not make such a distinction. IME, All spiritual knowledge from wherever it comes is free to everyone... So, If my experience means anything, there is room for us all. Teutonic shamanism isn't about religion. It is simply a way to interface with the manifested multiverse from within an ancient European world view... You needn't be sad if you don't have any conflict. There is none coming from the deities IME. If humans express conflict, you can make a difference and combine different lineages if it works for you. Let others do whatever they choose. You can be different and set an example. So, I understand your dismay at the separation of religions. This dream I shared is just that - a dream - If it was in fact a shamanic dream, then it may help to meditate on it symbolically rather than literally. The meaning I take from it is to underscore how so many people over the last 2,000 years have clearly misunderstood and distorted the message of Jesus and what a tragic waste it is that his sacrifice was not understood and in fact has been used as a justification for so much bloodshed and bigotry... Deities are often judged by the actions of their followers. I do not personally interpret Odin's message to be directed at Jesus himself but at those followers who have abused his message. Just as many wrongly interpret the Muslim faith as one of violence. For those from outside of Christian countries, Jesus is seen as a bigot and murderer because so many self-proclaimed christians have acted this way. So, I believe Odin was directing his comments at the "false" christians, not at Jesus himself... Another way to look at it is from a polytheist viewpoint which sees the universe as a multiverse where instead of a static peace, there is a dynamic balance. In any dynamic balance, there is conflict. In astrology, the powers of the planets are sometimes in dynamic opposition to one another and we humans see them as being "enemies" but they are just different energies that combine to create the whole. So, from that perspective, it is OK with me if deities have differing viewpoints. They all work together in a holistic fashion... So, there are many ways to interpret shamanic dreams and visions. IME, they are best handled if meditated upon over time. Many times, the experiences can be unsettling, but those emotions get our attention. I was shocked at the term "Rotting Corpse" but that shocking imagery and stuck with me until I was able to get a deeper understanding of the cyclical nature of the Universe... I can't speak for Odin or Jesus, but based on the intended emotional impact and how it forced me to reconcile the divergence within me, I feel confident that Jesus himself would have approved of Odin's message... ( and maybe he himslef Told Odin to share it with me in those words....) I know if I were Jesus, I would be pretty sad if I saw people distorting my message the way so many have with his... Thanks for the feedback...

This translation presents the skull exhibiting its opinions in a dream of Chuang's. As usual , the final lines may be taken in either vein , as rhetorical ,, that the skull thinks its both logical and preferable to sit and do nothing- as a dead skull. Or , as an admission ,that if there was a way to get living again ,the skull would choose fleshly life,, with its ups and downs, ,,whether its logical to do that or not.

I'm not by far American, but allow me to make some observation: - many things that cannot be understood by watching closesly, can become clear from a distance... from where i am, we see the good ol' US of A, in deep shaite and still sinking. very fiew of my countrymen believe that 9-11 was anything by a cynical plot. there are a fiew that can see further and understand the necessity of it. - no different with the economic failure, still another plot. - obama is just a necessary puppet - events of this magnitude aren't left to the mercy of God, or to luck... even less to the "free will of the American people". you know what your problem is, you still live in a dream, the American dream. it's so darn well made-up, that it'd take forever to break out of it. the simplest way is to get out of there. this doesn't mean that conspiracy fans are right. the level of control in our time is just higher that people accept to believe. we have been born in a country that doesn't have the amount of financial power to build a dream of that magnitude, but we've watched it growing, over the years, since the falling of the Red Courtain. some of us get caught in this dream, but most of us still have a sufficient grip to the real world to know what's behind this show. and i have to agree, topics like this, and the penile thing, first on a daoist discussion forum, makes you wonder... i hope i didn't cause any patriotic heartaches L1

Wow, thanks for sharing that. This sounds like I'm already almost at the end of the journey here? That can't be right... The second chi, I felt just right now when doing the breathing excersize. Thoughts seize to exist and I plunge into some kind of nothingness. My breath was slow and deep but the pauses of each breath were becoming too long so I wasn't sure if thats ok. Is it ok to have real long pauses? It felt something like this: I breath in and feel the breath fill my entire body. It is not that I focus on a specific part of the body but rather the body as a whole, including its shape. The affects of each breath gave sensations of which I was aware and felt. Not thought about but just experienced. Then everytime the breath stops, I have this void of thought and feeling. Breathing in I feel energy or more like fresh oxigen fill my blood stream and it feels great on my relaxed muscles. Very soothing. When my entire relaxed body feels filled I breath out again, letting go of the breath. Breathing out the sensations in my body calms down again, going into a void again. And this non-breath period got longer on each breath cycle to a point where it felt like every non breath was sleep, and the beginning of each new breath cycle was a waking up again. As if it suprised me every time that I breath, hard to explain. Am I supose to have such long periods of non-breath between each cycle? Also, isn't the scientific term for second chi simply deep sleep? Cause after such a focus on breath meditation, feel really heavy when I have to stand ip suddenly. And confused in a way, even though I was completely aware and awake in a sense. Then with the third chi, It feels like a wake initiated lucid dream. You simply have let go of all of reality to switcg from external sensations of internal sensations of the dream body. The lucid dream that is like some kind of higher dimension beyond time and space where everything we think about happens. Like we are some kind of demi gods. The stages of chi seem very similar to the stages of the scientific sleep cycle of light and deep sleep followed by rem-sleep

This is a wonderful poem... - Silence II Silence is not a lack of words. Silence is not a lack of music. Silence is not a lack of curses. Silence is not a lack of screams. Silence is not a lack of colors or voices or bodies or whistling wind. Silence is not a lack of anything. Silence is resting, nestling in every leaf of every tree, in every root and branch. Silence is the flower sprouting upon the branch. Silence is the mother singing to her newborn babe. Silence is the mother crying for her stillborn babe. Silence is the life of all these babes, whose breath is a breath of God. Silence is seeing and singing praises. Silence is the roar of ocean waves. Silence is the sandpiper dancing on the shore. Silence is the vastness of a whale. Silence is a blade of grass. Silence is sound And silence is silence. Silence is love, even the love that hides in hate. Silence is the pompous queen and the harlot and the pimp hugging his purse on a crowded street. Silence is the healer dreaming the plant, the drummer drumming the dream. It is the lover’s exhausted fall into sleep. It is the call of morning birds. Silence is God’s beat tapping all hearts. Silence is the star kissing a flower. Silence is a word, a hope, a candle lighting the window of home. Silence is everything –the renewing sleep of Earth, the purifying dream of Water, the purifying rage of Fire, the soaring and spiraling flight of Air. It is all things dissolved into no-thing – Silence is with you always…..the Presence of I AM - Elaine Maria Upton

I don't think you should change anything. Do what you are doing. Give it 5 seconds, and people will frame your experience in Buddhist and Taoist terms in order to legitimize it. Alternatively, they'll find no way to do so, and will state that your experience is illegitimate. In my experience all traditions lie at least somewhat, if not a great deal. All the descriptions they provide are inadequate or worse, downright false and deceptive. When you're at the edge of contemplation, you're on your own. Tradition cannot help you at all. Traditions are helpful for those who are just beginning. Traditions get in the way of experienced contemplators. Why? Because when you're contemplating at a deep level, you're investigating way beyond convention. You're close to the source of the dream, and the dream's contents are no longer applicable. Traditions are just dream contents. They are not wisdom. The role of tradition is to form the basis for social groups and to maintain convention. Don't forget. If you try to match your experience to this or that tradition, you'll be severely hamstrung. It's like walking around with a ball and a chain. Free yourself. The downside is that it can be hard to discuss what you're knowing and feeling, because traditions provide vocabulary and frameworks for discussion (even if it's a deceptive and inaccurate one, it feels like you're sharing something, when in fact you're not). You may need to develop your own vocabulary if you're still interested in talking, but if you do that, you risk forming a new tradition. And while it will be fun for you, if you formalize your thought it will later harm and delay other people's progress. At "high" levels experience is very abstract. You know what you're experiencing, but it's so far away from the concrete world that it's hard to verbalize. The only thing you can do is deny this or that bogus assumption you catch people engaging in.

I guess you are referring to DDJ Chapter 8, right? The reference of water had made me to think, water can be also devastating as river floods or sea tsunamis (granted the water is pushed by jolts underground, for what I know). Living without a money to me is a bad marketing idea, it doesn't work, unless you live under the help or patronage of someone. And you are right about to develop a skill of value, some may make go by some make you rich. And still money is needed. You see, in the hood where I live there are nice houses and not affordable to everyone and still you see people living in those huge houses or nice houses. Then on the other side of the freeway there are the real homies and people don't want to live there but they can afford it and they live the American dream. So money still needed. And the question I asked how can you live in frugality when money is needed for the nice things in life.

Thank you LimA! Here is one for you! What I like about this one - is that most of the unsuspecting people also knew the song (as do I) for it was taught in every high school choir for decades and sung at their Christmas programs - so they sang along!! It will also show you what everyday people at the mall over here are like. (there might be a short advertisement at the very beginning, easily ignored/skipped) Enjoy! and then go get some sleep, lol. Dream true! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXh7JR9oKVE

Certainly, if you mean by that what was my approach to my practice, I would answer that I practiced assiduously, mindfully and with all my heart and soul. At the outset I paid great attention to capturing as many subtleties as possible from the videos. My previous training has enabled me to capture subtle nuances, and I made full use of that. I kept a daily journal of my practice for a considerable amount of time, but eventually decided this was not the best use of my time. Now if you are asking how did I go about teaching myself the meditations, I have no problem with explaining that. Just let me know. Which way the wind blows today, I wonder? Look at the date of that quote. The observations I have made recently relate to my experience sharing with the FPCK community on this thread. During this period, whilst continuing to learn and practice the FPCK meditations, I was also observing the quality of instruction, attention to the needs of students, and other factors which helped shape the impression I eventually formed of Terry Dunn. To begin with, I was happy to have found this art, and had great hopes that Terry Dunn would fulfil the promise of my initial confidence in him. I read through pretty much the entire thread, taking notes, and an impression began to form in my mind in combination with my actual experience of interacting with him over several months. My attempts at communication with him were ignored, I was not even able to order the DVDs from him, as my emails and repeated personal messages were never answered. In addition to this, when he did in fact eventually respond to me on the thread it became clear that he did not make the connection between the information I had originally provided by email and my actual identity. I can understand the confusion in part, due to the fact that I changed my name to the one you see now, after which my previous identity simply vanished, along with years of previous posts on TTB under my previous name which I cannot now remember, but I do remember changing it because eventually it sounded pretentious to me, although it was sincere. I believe it was WuWei Shen. But the moderators could find no record whatsoever of either that identity or my posts. It may even have been another forum with similar content. Sometimes my aphantasia can produce this type of situation, and there is really nothing I can do about it. In any case, if you read my initial posts, you will see for yourself how long I had to wait to receive any sort of reply from Terry, and in fact I then asked for answers from any experienced practitioners, but received no reply. Eventually, as I say, Terry Dunn did begin to respond to my questions, but what people do not realise is that by the time that he did answer the number of questions had accumulated to such a point that he could never answer all of them, and many in fact did remain unanswered, which made my practice all the more difficult. Nevertheless, I persevered, and from time to time contributed to the thread with comments on other posts, questions and reports of what seemed to me to be important signposts in my cultivation practice. There was never even an acknowledgement of any of my other contributions, so eventually I just stopped contributing to the thread. I may have wrongly perceived Terry Dunn's reaction to my post regarding the pace of my meditations, but I got the distinct impression that he did not believe me, and he made remarks which I honestly felt would have been far better communicated by PM, rather than on the thread, because challenging me to provide a video as proof in the way that this was worded was something I found really offensive. I posted several times about my feeling alienated on the thread, and later provided a considerable amount of information documenting each of the questions I had raised or comments I had made which had been summarily ignored by the entire community. Had this occurred in a class situation I would have directly confronted Terry Dunn in private, as I do not accept this type of disrespect from anyone, and if this was the way I was to be treated, and he made no effort to change his attitude, then I would simply turn my back on him and leave the kwoon. But in the context of a forum like this, and given the fact that I was actually in need of answers to questions directly relating to my practice, you can imagine that my patience was beginning to wear thin. You accused me of paranoia, well, do you find it surprising, given the circumstances? Should a forum member need to beg in order to obtain the necessary attention he can see everyone else receiving? Terry Dunn was fully aware of the pain I had been suffering, and that I needed help, and must have known how difficult it would be for me to undertake this practice, and that I would therefore need a considerable amount of support. As I saw how much attention other members were receiving, when they were really contributing very little to the thread, my impression of the character of Terry Dunn as a master began to diminish. As I recognised more and more obvious character flaws, I found myself drawn toward seeking another teacher elsewhere. During this lengthy period I had been approached by several other members who agreed that I was being treated badly, and they were very kind and supportive toward me and showed me great respect. Eventually I found that I was not alone in my misgivings about Terry Dunn, and the more time went on, the more my doubts were confirmed. At one point I became so incensed by him inculcating his occult ideology on this thread that I seriously considered calling him out over it. I believe I have already expressed my opinion on this matter and done my best to explain why I have such a low opinion of Aleistair Crowley, although there is a great deal more I could add. Terry Dunn is clearly misinformed on this topic, and not taking into account the extent to which young impressionable minds of many of the new members might be affected, because there is a considerable amount of adulation which Terry actively attracts toward himself, and such members are very likely to simply accept what he tells them without question. It got to the point that I found myself having to make an effort to avoid the copious number of posts to the thread having absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with the Flying Phoenix system, and the more this occurred the more it irritated me. This thread is extremely lengthy, and a newcomer already has to wade through an immense amount of information in order to find anything of value. This is due to the fact that there has constantly been a tendency to treat this threat like a social media platform, with members chatting about pretty much anything that takes their fancy. This makes no sense to me whatsoever, given that this is really the only source of information for would be practitioners of this art. The final chapter in this was when I observed Terry's behaviour during the situation which has arisen surrounding Ausar. I feel that there is no way I can now accept any of his claims to be the highly evolved individual he claims to be, and for the first time ever I have withdrawn the honorary appellation of Sifu, because I no longer feel that he deserves it. Not that he was in fact ever my Sifu. He obviously took a considerable amount of time and trouble to answer my questions, but his answers came so late that the damage was done. By the time Terry eventually responded to my accusations and asked me to continue to contribute it was too late... Can you not see how this might appear to me that you are continuing to insult me? You comment is once again dripping with sarcasm...maybe you cannot help yourself - possibly something you way want to address. I am not the slightest bit interested in learning Sunn Yee Gung thank you. I find myself resonating with the Flying Phoenix energies - it is the teacher I am not satisfied with. Again you have taken my statement out of context. Are you trying to be deliberately obtuse or are you really stupid? Are you unable to read between the lines and understand that I was saying that at the time I came across that video of Garry Hearfield performing that sitting meditation it was a revelation to me, because I had never seen anything in Terry Dunn's videos even approaching the degree of serenity and total immersion in the meditation I witnessed on that video on Youtube. It is a shame it since disappeared, otherwise I could link you to it. But at the time I had already begun my Flying Phoenix training, so as I said, it simply inspired me to achieve a similar level within that art. How could you fail to glean that? Yes, and I just made that distinction when I asked you whether you were referring to Terry Dunn as master with a capital M - in other words a fully realised master, or a master as in Sifu, which frankly I could call myself in other arts if I so desired. I was not confused. Anyone reading the content of this thread would be led to the conclusion that Terry Dunn is a fully realised master. This is the impression he himself promotes of himself, and my statement was to the effect that I do not believe that a fully realised master would behave as he does. And there is no way anyone could persuade me otherwise. Is he skilled in martial arts? I would hope so, but the idea many forum members and students have of him far surpasses the status of Sifu. Hence my statements and my reaction to your description. Above are a few quotes from comments just from your last post which I find insulting. Perhaps this is a cultural misunderstanding. Quite frankly, if you were saying what you have said to me in person I would assume you wanted to cross hands with me. It is not a question of hurting my sensibilities it is a question of crossing the line and being deliberately impertinent and offensive. This is about loss of face, something you should understand. Or do you really think that you could get away with talking the way you have been to a complete stranger who you know is a martial artist without them taking offence? You seem to believe so, just like all the armchair warriors who fill forums like these. I'd just like to let you know that I am not one of them, and even in my condition you really don't want to fuck with me, I can assure you. As I already told you, I removed myself from the thread. I only returned once, and that was when I was informed that Terry Dunn had uploaded a video of him in a Skype conversation with GM Doo Wai. Since watching as much as I could of that before it turned my stomach over, I have never returned to the thread, so no, I have not been following events and have no idea what this is all about. I watched the video in the link you provided, but I fail to see how it connects to Ausar, as it only shows a discourse by a very much younger GM Doo Wai. The only information I managed to dig up on the subject of the Blue Buddha Ascending to Heaven was this, taken from Ausar's Facebook page: Blue Buddha Ascending to Heaven – A Legendary System of “Fire Samadhi” and a Relic of the Shaolin Temple – Now Available in complete form with all 18 levels released for the first time in history.Removes all Karmic Hindrances, Cultivates the Light body and manifests the ability to ignite objects on fire with the palm and with the mind. Is this the subject matter of the video which was removed from Ausar's website? I would need you to explain the situation for me and how the two videos relate to one another in order to be able to comment. Now my question to you: How did Ausar manage to come by the photographs showing him in such an intimate situation with GM Doo Wai, and the video material showing him being instructed by GM Doo Wai? I have never met GM Doo Wai in person, but having been a professional artist I have a very good eye for detail, and I believe that I have seen a sufficient number of photographs taken throughout the years, as well as videos showing his features to be able to define that the eyes and bone structure are of the same person. To me the person in both the photographs and the videos appears to be GM Doo Wai. The quality of the video uploaded by Terry Dunn of the Skype conversation was of very poor quality, whereas the video uploaded by Ausar is very clear. And one can clearly see that GM Doo Wai is actually physically touching Ausar's arm at one point in the video, in order to correct a movement in the form Ausar is learning. Faking that is not impossible, but it would require great expertise and incur considerable expense. Frankly given the very few students that Ausar has, I really don't see the point in going to so much trouble to create such an elaborate scam. And who would risk incurring the wrath of GM Doo Wai or indeed other members of his lineage and possible legal action in order to do this? It just does not make sense to me and I find this really perplexing. Well, if the hat fits....thank you for confirming my suspicions young Padawan. There are also many who do so in person and manage to pull the wool over people's eyes, I quite agree with you. But your statement once again begs the question: what attainment do you have to allow you to discern whether a master is fully realised or not? Certainly there are character traits which may be a dead giveaway, but I am intrigued to know how many such master you know of? You seem to be living in a dream world my friend. Or perhaps I was correct and you are Chinese and have never had to wade through swathes of false teachers whose only desire is wealth and fame. I do know the difference. I have had the fortune to train with some real high level Sifus, but the majority made me waste many years of practice, not getting back what I was putting in. That is all too often the case in the UK where I spent most of my life. Not only that, but you are also forgetting that things change over time. When I began my training around the age of 20 around 1977 things were very different, and people understood far less about these matters than they do today - there was no Internet, and most information came through personal contact or books and magazines, or sometimes rarely, video footage. There was very little knowledge of what real Gongfu was, so masters started springing up everywhere teaching absolute crap and getting away with it. In fact I am only talking about Gongfu, but in fact I started off with various Karate styles when I was in my teens before that. I am sure that you cannot possibly imagine the minefield one was confronted with in the search for something authentic... If you are fortunate enough to live in the USA, then I really doubt that it would have been anything like as difficult to find a real Sifu than it was for seekers like me. Nevertheless, I did gain the respect of several Sifus in London's China Town, and maintained a wonderful relationship with them for many years. But being Gwai Loh they could not teach me. I carry the scars from bad training, hard gongfu conditioning without Ditdajow which left my legs ruined and broken limbs from sparring in full contact competition before I was really ready. But that was many years ago, and since then I was fortunate enough to eventually learn from some pretty good instructors, some of them very high level. I stayed the course and paid my dues. Around 1987-'88 I finally moved away from Shaolin Gongfu to the IMA and never looked back. But my experience has been that even masters with real skill and attainment do not necessarily have impeccability - as I said, everyone has their price, and all too many eventually sell out. It was the introduction of these arts to the western world, and in particular to the highly materialistic values of our society which have made this type of corruption possible. Exceptions are very rare. For the most part greed is the name of the game. Look you silly little twat I am really beginning to lose my patience with you, I am not going to risk a lawsuit by posting a video of GM Doo Wai in which this can clearly be seen, instead I will provide an example: Golden Lotus Flying Phoenix Volume 4 Seated meditation 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 6, 7, 8, 9 and 10. If you cannot see what I have quite accurately described you are obviously blind as well as slow witted. Listen, I am not prepared to waste any more of my time and energy replying out of courtesy to your posts. I have already explained how many hours it takes me to write due to my inner dialogue, and I am not prepared to sacrifice my nights sleep in order to continue to defend my position against someone who clearly has a closed mind and thinks they know it all. So good luck to you as well, and thank you for your time and energy.

Lucky you! To anyone seriously interested in Buddha dharma or any other sacred tradition with relics, do yourself a huge favor and go acquire a relic to bless your household and neighborhood. This is my own wording of the topic. You may safely consider it flawed. When death comes to sentient beings, they get to stay in a transitional dream-like existence called bardo or limbo for a while. If they have self-delusions or karma left, they will receive vivid images of six lokas (hell, pretas, animals, humans, demigods, and gods) and be in particular tempted by copulating images of different beings after which entry to a womb is often followed. This uncontrolled transmigration continues death after death with increasing karmic retributions for engaging in self-cherishing actions. Such is samsara. The six lokas are the Desire Realm. Above that the Buddhist cosmology says is the Form Realm with different types of heavens. There beings do not suffer or experience any desire nor birth through womb. Most of these heavens will gift beings with a limited lifetime however, and some heavens even experience some type of cosmic cataclysms that periodically end their existence. The exception is the Pure Lands where the power of the Buddhas anchors their inhabitants unless they consciously seek to be reborn elsewhere. It's a technical, but highly relevant point that all these Form Realm heavens can be accessed and experienced during one's mortal life through dhyana-samadhi states which are types of meditative absorption or concentration. There are many ways to reach these absorptions like anapanasati taught by the Syakamuni Buddha or various Pure Land devotional methods such as chanting holy names (Buddha or his/her heaven). Entry into any of these Form Realms requires cultivation merit (which is alchemy of light very generally) which either stabilizes your concentration during bardo or creates an attuning to some Pure Land, so that you receive visions of Buddhas helping you and showing their Pure Lands into which you can enter then. It has also been said that the extremely virtuous go to these pure heavens straight without any bardo, and that the extremely sinful go to hell straight without any chance of higher rebirth during bardo.

I was reminded of the following realization again recently, while sitting with my son around our fire pit up on Black Mountain, camping last week. That moment, sitting quietly and listening when you realize... the relaxing sounds of nature are literally the sound of millions of creatures desperately trying to get laid. Life propogates Life. Life thrives on decay, while decay nourishes all life. This cycle of life propogating life, will not easily be interrupted by mental straining. Looking back on our 29 years together, it's rather clear, that my wife and I express together, a completely unsought and natural cycle of sexual expression. We saturate in deeply entwined and near constant love making for some months... and then months long cycles of no sexual impulses at all. These are not crafted, forced or judged. We simply respond to each other and our impulses as comes naturally and among that... is a rather steady period every year of complete abstinence and coming together. wei wu wei... do without forcing... In our life together, if we cultivate anything mutually, it's open flow of expression of self and an atmosphere that creates space for our own nature to express itself without hinderance or prodding. One pivot around which my relationship with cultivation now rotates is... don't force... if anything, release more fully into that which is your essential expression... follow nature, and as nature follows dao... it's hard to stray from a path that permeates all the manifest and unmanifest. To me, all the angst and unneccesary mental and physical straining over this retention topic seems to be more problematic than the occasional wet dream and a bit of jing releasing in the very manner nature designed... <shrug>

What you describe in your dream is the essence of something called "Family Constellations", by German psychotherapist Bert Hellinger. This is essentially when a child unconsciously adopts the pain he senses in his parents as a way to show unity with them, to "belong" to his parents' family unit. Not at all! Anyone on TDB is free to PM me if they want.

heya phore! many years ago, when i was a member of a "serious" wicca group, i made an experiment with the invocation of a godess. i was ill (had caught a terrible cold) and i called the godess isis for help. i did this out of intuition. soon after my "invocation" i fell asleep. i started dreaming. and in my dream i met the godess. i was so surprised and impressed that i tried to paint a picture with water colours some days later, when i felt better. i cant say that the process of healing was shorter or something like that. and of course the sceptics will say that my dream-vision was nothing but a result of fever. but for me this was a real encounter with the godess. it was very convincing, because in my dream i had seen isis with all her attributes (that i did not know before). and afterwards i found all these details (that i had seen in my dream) in a book. my experiences with wicca were mostly positive. i learned a lot about energy work. and the excercises they did remind me a little bit of the zanh zhuang chi kung. and the healing ceremonies were similar to some of the chi kung practices. wiccan energy work led me to chi kung some years later... a gwyr arwin arbed sirius

Sufi Dance On certain nights I attend Sufi dance. I can't remember where it is or how I get there, or, for that matter, how I get home and back into my bed. I talked to a friend about it. He told me I was dreaming. But if it is a dream why do I wake up so sore and tired? Sometimes I have blisters on my feet. But I feel I'm getting somewhere with it, I'm no longer getting as dizzy as I used to. I seem to be developing more love and patience. I look good, people tell me. I was practicing a very difficult part of the dance last month. The teacher wore orange robes and the dance was very technical. The month before, a different teacher, (who wore a red robe) taught a simpler stamping dance, a somewhat angry yet purposeful dance. There was a teacher before that a beautiful woman who wore a silver robe, her dance was fluid and graceful. I didn't do very well. I think I became a little infatuated with her, it was hard to concentrate. I liked the blue teacher, his dance was joyous and expansive. Good things happened to me after his lesson. In my mundane life, that is. The green woman! Well, that was easy! But I was a little confronted. Well worth it, because after those lessons, I met her - in my mundane life. The Golden One seemed to be saying he is what I will become. I found him a little confusing. I haven't been taught by the black teacher yet, I have had a glimpse of her style. She is naked and black and sprays of stars and spiral galaxies cover her body. But now, it’s all mixed up. Sometimes I seem in one level of the dance, and at other times in another level. But lately there is no teacher. No particular colored robe and no difference between the me here in this part of the dance and that me there in that part of the dance and another me over there in another part of the dance. But at the same time I am out of the dance and watching myself and the other dancers. When that happens the dance becomes a huge astral entity, a massive cone of light with layers and bands of colors and dancers and teachers. Each colored circle, one on top of each other, diminishing in size; a huge cone of dancing, multi-colored, banded light floating and rotating amongst the blackness and stars of space. At times while I am in the dance other dancers come into my space and bounce and career off me spinning madly, grinning, singing and dancing off to their destinies on other paths and trajectories. In this part of the dance are wild eyed poets giggling on LSD, dancers that are leaping and floating like fauns and satyrs somersaulting leaving behind them trails of stars and sparkles. When I look up through the translucence above, I see exquisite dancers. They are vibrant and ecstatic. I want to be like them. They fall and tumble but this helps then to rise in their total control of the dance. Even when they misstep. I want to be like that. And when I look down I see the dancers below me still learning the dance. I remember when I made those mistakes. Some are awkward and squabbling like cranky penguins but others are concentrating and aspiring. But sometimes, when the dance blends with my mundane life and I seem stuck in the middle part of the dance - a crazy insane part of the dance that must be passed through to finish the dance. It does with me what it will and I can only respond to its energy and lose myself in the ecstasy of not being there. But I know I am there. Just as I know that at this moment life seems much too serious to be taken seriously and so much is happening all at once, t hat it must be a dance or a dream. But it matters not because one thing I have learnt is that no matter how hard the dance is, if I persevere and continually attempt to see life from the top of the cone, in my higher consciousness, with purified love, I will survive and rise up beyond the cone to the ecstasy of infinite space and into the stars of life. Nungali.

"The you that you think you are is both the dream and the dreamer." unknown

In Hindu dharma/Vedanta, the three bodies are called Sthula Sharira (Gross Body), Linga or Sukshma Sharira (symbolic or subtle body) and Karana Sharira (Causal Body). The Sthula Sharira comprised of all five sheaths (koshas) - Physical body The Linga Sharira excludes the annamaya kosha (food-based sheath) but contains all the other four sheaths. -- Dream body The kārana sharīra contains only the anandamaya kosha (blissful sheath) -- Deep sleep body.

Hello folks, I start this thread with a heavy heart, if only because I don't want what I am telling you to be misconstrued as a truth or an absolute about the human experience, but rather as my own experience. My experience differs from your experience, simply because there is no way for you to completely identify with it, so I ask first, that you don't identify with it, but rather listen to it. There's this idea that's been bouncing around in my head, sort of like a pinball bumping on bouncers with nowhere to go. What I've been thinking about is this notion of Love, not love, but Love with a capital L and what it really means. For me it took a long time to wrap my head around Love, no so much love. You see for me there is a difference in the two. Love, for me, in unconditional, in other words, Love with a capital L literally has no boundaries, nothing that holds it in and binds it, it is everything that I aspire to, without even knowing it. Love is that part of me that connects me to you and you to me, it is the part of me that resides within the kindest act and even the darkest act, although sometimes it's very hard to see. Love is a state of mind where you can look at someone who has done something completely beyond reasoning and say, "I hope things turn out well for them." It is being able to see the person still, the person that was and is and understanding that what that person is, isn't the entirety of that person, that somewhere within them still resides a piece worth loving. I know many of you are asking, "how can you love someone who has done something horrible? Really horrible?" Well it's not easy. I grew up in what most would consider an abusive home. My mother was mentally ill and my father was a sociopath. There's really no other way to describe them. My mother was prone to moods where she could be the most loving person in the world one moment, then in the next become a monster. This paradox made it hard for me to understand the concept of unconditional love, because for me there were very real conditions regarding love. If I woke my mother while she was napping she no longer loved me. If I brought her coffee and it was not made right, she no longer loved me, but then there were moments when it was different. On a Saturday afternoon when I was eight, I snuck into my parent's bedroom and stole all the money from my father's wallet. It was his entire paycheck and a bit more. I proceeded to go downtown and spend the money at the local ice cream shop. The owner knew my father, saw the amount of money I had and called my father. My father sent my brothers and sisters out to find me. I was standing on a bridge when I saw my sister coming, in a moment of panic I threw all the money over the side of the bridge, around two hundred dollars, which doesn't seem like a lot now, but this was the seventies, so think more like a thousand dollars. My sister took me home and my father beat me. Not a spanking, but a beating. It was one of the few times I remember my father hitting me. At the end I couldn't move. I remember I was so sore that even touching me stomach brought tears to my eyes. My mother took me in her arms and laid me in her bed beside her and held me, singing softly in my ear. It was hard for me to peg my mother as good or bad, because she was capable of both. Later in life I tended to remember the bad more than the good, but I bring this up as an example of how I was conditioned to think of love, how I was taught love worked. Another example of love came to me in a different manner. When I was a couple of months older and we had moved to a new town and new home a family friend came to stay with us. He was young, still in his teens, and he shared a room with me. A couple of weeks after he moved in with us, he started to sexually abuse me. At first it wasn't so bad, uncomfortable, but nothing really "horrible" at least not as horrible as I learned it could get. He stayed with us for two years before my parents kicked him out and I ended up having to endure his "love" for nearly two years. I say "love" because that's what he called it, he was "loving" me. To say that it ended up confusing me to no ends is an understatement, in fact it made it almost impossible for me to truly understand what love really was. So here, in this brief explanation of my life I share with you something I share very rarely, but now have no shame about, but at one time that wasn't so, at one time these moments of my life very much defined me as a person, as well as defined my own views on love and led me to believe that love didn't exist. So what changed my mind? Did I meet a person that unconditionally loved me, for good and bad, leading me down a path of righteousness? No, not in the least. In fact the majority of my relationships over the years were abusive and less than ideal. Did I stumble across love, see it in its natural form and suddenly realize that love existed, that it was real and concrete and perfect in all its adornments? No, that never happened either. What happened then? Well it's hard to explain. My first moment when I think I first experienced love was under the effects of a dream. I was twenty-two, I was very depressed, and I remember that I wanted to end it all, seriously end it all, not just a cry for help type of ending it, but a secretive, I'm not going to tell anyone and tomorrow I'm going to do it, type of depression. At that time I rarely prayed, but for some reason that night I did. I knelt before my bed with tears in my eyes and I prayed, "God, I can't take this anymore. If there's a reason for me being here, please show me, or else I'm going to kill myself tomorrow." Yes I know, very dramatic and twenty-ish. What happened though was amazing. I had a dream. In this dream a man came up to me and stabbed me. I remember the pain was very real and I felt very much like I was dieing. As my final moment passed, I found myself fading away, no body or anything else, just my self, for lack of a better explanation. I suddenly found myself in this vast space, not darkness mind you, just space. There seemed to be no direction or point of reference, just vast open space. Then slowly, balls of light appeared all around me, stationary, not moving, but just sitting there. After a brief period a voice suddenly spoke to me and I realized someone or something was with me. This voice said, "Aaron, you are on the Earth for a reason. You must learn a lesson. If you die you will come here. There is no time or space here, this place exists outside of the world, but it can reach the world. When you come here, you will then return to the world and be born again. You can be born in the past and in the future, it doesn't matter, because you will not remember anything from your previous life. You will keep coming here until you learn your lesson, then you will pass on from the world and this place." Now as this voice spoke I felt an overwhelming peace and serenity, unlike anything I had experienced before or since. I cannot even begin to describe it, my skin tingles when I remember it. It was the most amazing sensation I've ever had in my life, better than any drug or drink, it was absent of want or need, it was as if there was no want or need, just a complete sense of satisfaction, as if there were no wants or needs at all. Again, it's hard to explain. Anyways, I was trying to absorb what I had just been told, because it seemed to defy everything I had believed up until then as a good Christian. When I had finally understood what I had been told the voice asked me, "Do you understand." I thought, "yes." And that was that. I suddenly woke up the next morning, alive and well with the burden of depression lifted. How strange that I would find love in those words, but they are there. You see when we feel loved, it's because we feel that someone else values us, holds us as being something worth their attention. That being, when he helped me to realize that there was a reason for me being here, he also helped me to realize that I was worthy of love, and if I was worthy of love, then wasn't everyone else too? And that was my first glimpse, the spark that shook me ever so softly from a life of depression, sadness, and hopelessness, if only for a short while. You see that experience was enough to get me out of that rut for a short while, but it didn't erase the decades of abuse that I had experienced. In 1994 I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I had horrible flashbacks of things that had happened to me earlier in life, flashbacks I couldn't control. They dictated my life. After several years I became agoraphobic, afraid to leave my home for fear of having a panic attack. I had drank from the time I was twenty-one, heavily, but at some point my drinking seemed to become the sole purpose of my life. My mother had told me that if you drank before five you were an alcoholic and I took that to heart. Everyday I would wait til five o'clock and then start to drink. For around ten years I followed the same regime, a twelve pack and a couple Mickie's Hornets. I functioned well, in fact most people never called me an alcoholic, after all I was a happy drunk, people liked being around me, or so I thought. I was oblivious to the amount of pain and suffering that my actions caused others and me. The fact I bounced checks, stole money, lied, cheated, did whatever it took to get a drink didn't seem strange to me, because I "needed" to drink. Towards the end I stopped being a happy drunk, instead my past started to come back and haunt me, even in the midst of my sanctuary. I became belligerent, hateful, and spiteful. I became a person I couldn't even stand to look at in the mirror. So all stories like this come to an end, most don't have happy endings, I was lucky, because mine did. It started with a fist fight and a threat of suicide. I remember as clear as day standing on my porch, the morning after hearing my brother describe to me what happened the night before, but not remembering a single bit and praying, even though I didn't really believe in prayer or God. I prayed, "God please just help me get to Monday and I'll go to an AA Meeting." And that's what I did. I got sober. I haven't had a drink since that day. I tell people that even in those dark years I read the Tao Teh Ching and meditated, and I did, but I can honestly say it was all dead, anything that sprung from it was ornamental at best. Yes, it did help me to keep my balance for a time, but eventually, even those with the best balance fall and I did too. So where does the love come into all of this? Well some of it came to me while I was learning how to be sober. I made a fearless and thorough examination of my life, how I had harmed others (not how others had harmed me) and I came to understand that my actions not only effect others, but also effect myself. Call it karma, just deserts, God's will, whatever, but I learned that if one wants peace and happiness in their life, then they need to sow peace and happiness. Still that's not love, Love came along later. You see three years into my recovery I had another breakdown of sorts. I was working as a collections agent for a major corporation and I got a strange call. The man on that call was drunk and he started to hit on me. First let me say, I'm forty-one, but most people by the sound of my voice think I'm a teenager, so did this guy. He started to ask me very uncomfortable questions. I started to get very scared and suddenly I had a flashback. In one second years of abuse came back and I felt completely helpless. I left work and went home and never returned. I lied and told people I was on reprieve, but really I was on a disability. My mental state had deteriorated to the point I couldn't leave the house. A sniff of cologne or perfume, someone touching me a certain way, saying something that seemed to click and I'd be back there. Anyways there was one night a few years backs that I remember particularly, I woke up in the middle of the night to find a young boy, around nine sitting in his pajamas at the end of my bed. He looked at me and said, "I'm scared, is he going to come for us?" I looked at the boy and realized he was me. I started to cry and I couldn't stop. I felt his hand on my leg and the little boy said, "don't be scared. I wont let him hurt you." For thirty years I had buried this little boy inside me. The little boy that came out when I was beaten, when I was abused. The little boy that took all my shame and pain and held it so I could survive, have a glimmer of hope in the human race. I had buried him and abandoned him, but he had never abandoned me. That night as I lay sad and lonely, frightened of things that had happened so many years ago, he came to me and let me know that he loved me, that even if no one else was there, he was always there for me. He stayed with me til I fell asleep and the next morning he was gone. So my first glimpse of Love, with a capital L, came from a boy who has never aged, a boy that lives deep inside of me, still to this day. I realize now that this has gone in a direction, the story and my life, that I never intended, but like I've been told before and I believe, if one reaches a state of contentment in their life, then they can look back on their life and have no regrets for the past, nor will they wish to shut the door on it. I don't have regrets anymore. Now, the big L came to me later. You see when I first hopped online I thought I knew what Taoism was all about and Buddhism, but really I didn't know shit, nor do I now, but I met someone who did. He was on another forum and it ended up that he lived about ten miles away from me. We met and had dinner. He listened to my off the wall crap regarding what Taoism was and said nothing really, just listened. We continued to meet and he started to share more and more, lend me books, give me his thoughts and ideas. Over the following months I began to learn about Taoism in an entirely different light, not the philosophical bull that I thought was Taoism, you know, morality, democracy, etc., but rather the experience of Tao. I stopped meditating for the first time in nearly twenty years. It was in that period of no-meditation that I began to really understand, because even though I didn't know it, I was actually meditating, I just wasn't sitting with my eyes closed not thinking, or being. Instead I was BEING, living and experiencing. I was still having flashbacks and such, but not anything too bad. It was during my conversations with him, where he started to share his belief that there really was no higher power, or conscious being in control of the universe, that my ideas of how the world worked slowly changed. My idea of Love changed. Love was no longer God, but rather it became a state of being, that perfect being that existed within us. Love for me was something that transcended pain and suffering, it was something that existed in the darkest night and brightest day. It rose above hatred and pain, above greed and suffering, and still sat silent and peaceful, like the eye within a hurricane, it was the solace that existed, safe and free of any suffering. Love was the ability to care for someone so completely that any notion of yourself is wiped away and all that matters is the well being of this other person. It's the notion that you and I are not separate at all, but rather we just see ourselves as separate. It's the ability to love you even if you do something I don't like. It's the ability to forgive you, not because I want forgiveness, but because I understand that you are worth forgiving. Love with a capital L is showing compassion for the boy at the foot of your bed, but also showing compassion for the young man that caused you so much pain so many years ago, if only because you can see the boy inside of him as well. Love with a capital L is being able to see through what is now and understand what has been, that in the blink of an eye, if only one thing shifted in a certain way, you could've been that young man. Love for me, today at least, is being able to look back at my life and see how lucky I really am to be where I am now. That all the things that have happened to me in the end opened up my eyes and mind so that I can REALLY see. I can understand that there is no "I", but rather there is only "It". Me, you, and the Universe. When I can see this, really see it, then everything that has come before, everything that should've turned me to a bitter, angry, lonely man, means nothing, because in that moment of real clarity you understand the futility of anger and loneliness and instead see that you are never really angry at someone else, but rather you are angry at yourself, and as for loneliness, well I just need to look out my window to realize I'm never really alone. Anyways, this was very long. I doubt many people will make it to the end, but it was cathartic (for me). I shared it with you because I thought it was time to share it. I honestly and truthfully hope life is treating you well, but if it isn't, then just know that you are here to learn a lesson. Aaron

Just read this book http://www.amazon.com/Dreaming-Yourself-Awake-Tibetan-Transformation/dp/159030957X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1411038455&sr=8-1&keywords=alan+b+wallace+lucid+dreaming Dreaming yourself awake ... alan wallace. Not bad I thought though I skim read the philosophy parts. been keeping dream journal for a few nights ... I've had lucid dreams in the past but a bit random and didn't really focus on them too much. But after two nights of following some of the suggestions in this book had a brief and very nice lucid dream last night. Anyone know a good method or a better book? Any accomplished dreamers here? I'm sure there are and I know its been discussed before.

I dream a lot. I haven't really noticed a pattern like that lately. Maybe it something specific to you.

Your first two paragraphs threatened his little dream world and so he rejected it out of hand rather than look at the evidence.

Ah!, Steve's questioning my original question and the reason for it. The question was (and still is): Is anything really objective? That is to ask, Is the universe totally subjective? It doesn't exist if there is not an observer? You see, when folks get caught up in talking about spirituality they drift off into never-never land and pretend that everything is a dream - "Their Dream". They talk about oneness but it is only "Their" oneness and it is "They" who is having the experience and everyone and everything else is only a part of "Thier" dream. Well, I suggest that this is bull shit. The universe did very well before they were born and it will do just fine after they die. Sadly, they are not the center of the universe nor does their imagination create you and me. Outside of man's mind there is a real "objective" universe that existed for over 14 billion years without man needing to imagine it existed only in his mind. Subjectivity is a result of our dualistically thinking brain. It is we who attach insignificant meaning to objectivity. What is, is. Period. We and all things, living and not, are products of the processes of Nature. Now, I really wasn't trying to make distinctions between what is real naturally and what is real as a result of manufacture. That's just the way the dictionary defined the word. Yes, the coffee I have been drinking is real. I made a small pot earlier. Tastes good too.

The easiest way to have more lucid dreams is to write every single dream down, in as much detail as possible. Even when you don't dream, just write "I chose not to remember my dreams at this point in time" or something like that. Also some of us found that taking at least 1000mg of GABA creates some very vivid and lucid dreams, that one remembers.