Search the Community

I have a deep lust for petite body types. My gf has gained quite a bit of weight over the years compared to when we first started dating 6 years ago. I'm not a big guy and there is something about smaller sized women that have always allured me. My gf is not petite but not naturally big either. I have been feeling severely depressed about this because I lack the attraction I once had to her. I still love her and her personality but I have a high sex drive and being attractive toward the opposite sex has always been a dominant motivating force for me. I know I'm objectifying and judging her based on materialistic viewpoints to which even if she had my ideal body type would not last in with age, but I'm struggling to stay interested. I feel depressed because I never feel sexually excited or motivated when I see her. My very nature is driven by self improvement and striving toward goals. Thus I'm very much into health and exercise and I've always sought out someone who shares that. She is interested in exercise and health but not driven like me and so nothing ever changes. We have talked about this over and over and it has hurt her very much knowing I'm concerned how she looks. This furthers my depression because I feel like it shouldn't bother me and I judge myself too. She is very self conscious of her body now and I feel talking about it has made it so much worse. I'm not sure how to let this go. Any suggestions or practices?

I was disappointed to find a stereotypical viewpoint shared by some seekers on the lust topic on this forum. The viewpoint that lust is somehow majorly a male obstacle. For me as a female seeker on the path, this is something I have struggled with. This is not just a male problem, male and female is simpy a matter of form. What we carry in our impressions from other lifetimes in other bodies sticks to us, in whatever form we might be in this lifetime- male or female. I find the generalised stereotype that lust is simply a male challenge quite isolating and insulting to my experiences as a female seeker in this lifetime.

Here is a Discovery channel documentary I found called the Science of Lust. I especially found interesting the part where they had men draw a picture who had sat in a waiting room prior to drawing, and then compared them to drawings done by men who waited in a room with a beautiful women prior to drawing. No contest, the group who interacted with the beautiful woman prior to drawing were much more creative and detailed. I think this clearly shows how important it is to be "in state" in your life. You have to have the right mind state. Really you need the right mind state, and body state. A state of awesomeness, like a true star shining, a state of alpha male-ness, of pumping life energy, rushing endorphins, pulsing blood, flooding dopamine, and blasting testosterone. This is the way to functioning at full capacity in life. The Science of Lust- [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nIQqCDbgiAM[/media ]