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I just wanted to say hello to everyone. I recently started my journey to becoming a realized being through Taoist practices. I bought a few books, "secrets of the dragons gate", "opening the dragons gate", "secrets of the golden flower" and of course "magus from java". at the moment I can sit and meditate for a half hour. I use the eyes half open method. which means eyes locked on the tip of my nose and my mind concentrating on my minds eye, with my will fixed on my abdominal. Im trying to cultivate stillness or get to the point I can see my thoughts through my minds eye visually, but my only success in that area happened while I was sleeping. I can't imitate it through my meditations while I am awake. I'm not certain what my first steps should be, so I decided to join a community. I currently reside in Thailand, but I am an american. I'm a retired muay thai fighter, that came to the realization that my need to fight other men was a personality flaw. Now I spend my time with my wife (she came with me from america) and attempt to understand the "tao". I'm looking for answers that I can directly experience, not a belief system and it's important whoever decides to help me understands that. I'm not looking for a god, however I am searching for a way to save my wife and I from the afflictions of not pursuing the "tao". Here I am and that's my story Sincerely, Taoist Yawa.