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Background: 20 year old male, turning 21 in the spring. Former great loss of jing, ojas, meaning of being "man", etc. due to pornography and masturbation. Of course I have long since quit these behaviors in favor of spiritual practice. But I want to take it a step further - I'd like to remain celibate for approximately 10 years in order to give myself opportunity to deepen spiritually and use my creative energies for other purposes. Some call this "Brahmacharya". and traditionally it lasts 12 years in disciplined practice, but I'm shooting for the decade between ages 20 and 30. This is the time of my life when I feel I will have the most potentially to do and achieve anything I want. While celibate I've noticed that the creative CHI life energies naturally flow elsewhere; art, music, literature, film, theater, even raw emotion seem to come alive for me at a whole new level. I am an artist and would like to seriously devote my energy to creation because I believe I have something to contribute to this realm in the world. I am currently seeing a girlfriend, and we are dating, but I haven't yet mentioned to her my plan. That said I feel that she is a soulmate, and perhaps she would understand (cliche, but true love waits). I believe dating should occur for years before marriage. Am I deluding myself by believing that such a period of self-realization would change me as a person, and perhaps take me some distance toward the realm of enlightenment?

I am celibate and have been practicing cultivation / jing retention for quite some time now, but have come to realize that it is unnatural long-term for a human to exist without experiencing occasional arousal of Kundalini energy. This is not to say to give in fully to lustful desires, but to at least allow the energy to flow through the body. Does anyone have any specific sexual yoga or meditation practice to offer apart from Chi-Gung, which I already do? Thanks.