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greetings musings: I am a 19 yr old young male and I feel that i am becoming more of a man all the time. I feel the masculine force growing stronger in me day by day, the powerful yang resonance and heat affecting me in many ways. I was always a very internal, yin-child when i was a child. i loved art, pretty things, music, reading. I never paid much heed to the outside world. I am a Taurus, and hence, a late bloomer - i was slow to develop. Now, as I am rapidly becoming a man, BANG! there is this sudden imperative need to be a MAN and fit into this outside world. The mind psychology changes, the waves transition from theta to beta. I feel that my child is still there in the background, but the man I see looking back at me in the mirror is not that child, or even the adolescent. I feel the feelings of a fully developed man in me....the aggressive drive to compete, the primal sexual urges, but they make me feel very alone and hollow inside.... the love and spirit is missing. I feel the resonance so strong that I feel obligated to treat women with respect and decency, not because it is the right thing to do, but because i feel strong myself, strong enough to be weak. I want to fall back on my child-like creative pursuits once I am strong enough, because, at least to me, the greatest strength is in being able to indulge the love and whimsical passions of a child.... I meditate and practice qi-gong to work with the aggressive feelings and sexual heat. once those have been redirected to the heart i feel that i can act out of genuine compassion and kindness to others, not adolescent tantrums. The funny thing is that when i was a younger teenager, i did not have strong yang resonance, and it stopped me from doing my yin pursuits because i perceived them as too sensitive and weak. little did i know. I want to use the confidence i am gaining to be able to be strong enough to do my yin-pursuits ..... art, music. a basic principle is that yang attracts yin. does this sound logical and in-line with taoist teachings?? peace and thanks. dhiggs