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To whom it may concern, I have read countless forums, websites, and books on this issue without reaching a complete level of understanding or knowledge on it. I discovered the power of the retention of one's seed when I was 23 years old. It has been a life long dream to figure out how to harness that power for my health, spiritual growth, and longevity in life. I have been trying to solve this "problem" and "unlock the riddle" so to speak off and on for 9 years now, without reaching a level that I would deem "successful". I would like to ask for any help that I can. I have done 1 year of tai chi quan (15 hours a week). I've done tons of chi gong, meditation, and practices all geared towards this sort of practice. Recently (last month) I hit a huge milestone and broke my previous record of 40 days of retention. I abstained from all sexual activity for 43 days and established to myself that I could hold out indefinitely. If anyone is thinking about posting "You're learning this for the wrong reasons" or any silly stuff like that, or "You need to study 2 years of basic healing sounds, inner smile, and stuff like that before trying this", please just don't bother posting. I need real help and guidance. I've taken 6 months of courses from one of Michael Winn's teachers on top of my tai chi training and while it was lovely none of it helped a great deal for this particular problem. The teacher promised to teach me the microcosmic orbit and said it would be exactly what I needed, but I was greatly disappointed with the end result of that. Here are my issues: While I have great willpower and can abstain from sex indefinitely, the "energy" leaks out in my sleep. The moment I go to sleep, despite having no dreams of sex or any sexual thoughts, I maintain an erection all night and the energy slowly drains out. In other words, strict and permanent celibacy does not work for harnessing this energy. Over time my "cup" "fills up" so to speak, and begins spilling over. The energy needs to be moved, transmuted, or relieved, but I do not know any techniques that work for this. I have tried meditation, the microcosmic orbit, the "million dollar spot", controlling my PC muscles, breathing techniques, using my mind to "guide" the energy, and a long list of other techniques that others have suggested including "sat nam" and yogic types of exercises. I have read Mantak Chia's book and tried just about all of his techniques. I've practiced them for countless hours. When I do the microcosmic orbit, or the "big draw", or any of those practices, I feel a "cold energy" rising at the base of my spine. I've managed to get it to move part of the way up my back. I can feel a sort of energy moving. I also get "vibratory sensations" or "pumping sensations" in my spine when I have a lot of energy that has built up. Still, I am not able to conserve this energy, prevent it from flowing outward, and keeping it all for myself. What I need: I need a way to reduce, lessen, or move all of the "energy" that is constantly building up in my genitals. It just keeps building and building every day, and I don't know what to do with it. None of the techniques I have tried seem to work. The best thing I can do is use my PC muscles to clench and squeeze during sexual activity to minimize the amount of fluid I lose, but I end up urinating sexual fluid out through my bladder and in the end I lose energy. The whole time I'm doing this, I'm trying to use my breath, mind, microcosmic orbit, and other things to "guide" the energy "UP" instead of "down and out," and I have succeeded to some small degree, but nowhere near the level that I would like to reach. The energy always leaks out. The reason I'm posting this now is because I always thought that if I had enough willpower to maintain strict celibacy, that I would be able to retain my energy completely, and that I'd be able to build my energy levels, but as it turns out, celibacy doesn't cut it. You need some sort of practice or your cup just begins spilling over. I'm not horribly optimistic that anyone here can help me, but I thought I would try. I've been at this for 9 years now, and I would like to learn how to retain my seed before I start getting older. It would be depressing for me to live this life without ever having accomplished this or figured it out, especially after learning about it 9 years ago. Another question I have, is this practice REALLY this hard? I mean, I've been trying to learn it for 9 years with marginal success. It's difficult for me that the understand that the human body seems to be built to harness this sort of energy, and yet the method at which to do so seems to elude most the entire human population. It seems incredibly difficult. Am I overthinking this? Any and all help would be greatly appreciated.