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This is a very hard thing to put into words clearly. Briefly I will start by giving you some background. Some months ago I had an experience, in my mind, after an experience I had, a feeling, after reading a book, that, essentially, messed me up. I won't go into details. Basically I thought I was in love with someone and it turned out to (most likely) not be what I thought. More study and some time since I ended this has provided a few possibilities: 1. The magician's perspective - I was dealing with power which had manifested in this form. 2. The Yogic/Buddha/Tao perspective - I was dealing with Kundalini energy manifested in female form. 3. The alternate Buddha perspective - I was dealing with a Tulpa I had created. 4. My original perspective - I was really in love and energetically connected to an alien being on another world. This thread is not to talk about that, only to give you background. You know the saying, "Once burned twice shy." Before this experience I was exploring the inner landscapes of my chakras with a spirit animal named Ayhunna, who came to me during a dream re-entry session to shamanic drumming. He left as suddendly as he came, aging before my eyes and disintigrating for lack of a better word. Now he's back. This brings me to what I need help with. Before with Ayhunna I would meditate on my chakras, enter its landscape, and then Ayhunna would lead me to something I had to deal with there. Usually this was done playing his favorite game, "Chase the fox." I have since ceased to meditate on my chakras. Now I do ZaZen when I get up and try to do Deep Meditation using the mantas, "Release, Flow" or "(my real name) a Center of Consiousness." With this last mantra I was trying to see myself as a center of consiousness per the first lesson in Raja yoga. Recently with Ayhunna's return he usually sort of tells me during ZaZen through a sort of glimpse of him in my mind's eye or a sense of his presence that he wants me to follow him. Generally he comes during my last meditation of the evening. But I am having an issue here. I need to figure out how to seperate that which my mind is manufacturing to distract me from meditating and that which is truly Ayhunna wanting me to follow him. I feel it is an honor to have his guidance and help once again, and I want to honor this by following his guidance. But I also need to make sure I'm not getting disracted by thoughts. You could argue that it's all thoughts. But for now let's try to keep it simple. There are thoughts generated by my mind, and there are thoughts my mind either locks onto or is given, like a message. I want to seperate what is message and what is just mind drivel. Understand? So how do I do this? How do I make sure that I am not getting lost in thoughts durring meditation? How to I tell when Ayhunna is genuinely calling to me? How can I distinguish a mental distraction from a summons? I need to be sure so if it is a mind distraction, I can simply ignore it and focus on my mantra. But if it is Ayhunna, then I must follow him. My inner landscape/inner world/chakra landscape - whatever the heck it is - is seriously f-d up right now. Hope nobody gets mad at the swear word. But it is very apt. With the loss of Ayhunna and the confusion around this, this relationship and its recent and raw end, as well as the fact that I was, not even a year ago, a simple church-going Christian with a few questions so this is all brand new to me, well I'm a mess. Ayhunna is trying to help. I had one other indivdual who was trying to help me, but we have unfortunately sort of come up at odds to each other. My problem is I never really understood a lot of what he said. I tried and for the most part I followed his instructions. But so many things he instructed me to do just didn't feel right, or I didn't want to do them or something. But he did direct me here, so perhaps someone can help me out. One last thing... As I read, "Magical Knowledge I" by Josephine McCarthy I am seeing much that could coorelate to my experiences. Later in the book she discusses meditation and inner worlds. I think I might have to drop my Raja yoga studies for now and adopt some sort of Inner Stillness Meditation based on her training as my last meditation of the day, and the time at which I work with Ayhunna. So this is what I tenatively plan to do. However I wouldn't mind getting some other viewpoints and advice here. I mean what is the best way to go inside and work with your spirit animal? Maybe the answer is to somehow have a session devoted simply to Ayhunna and inner working, seperate from meditation. That may even be the answer to my problem. Simple enough, just train him, as much as that seems like the wrong way to think about it or say it, that meditation time is seperate from our time and ignore any glimpses or senses of him I recieve. If there is a practicing shaman somewhere in here I would dearly love to hear from you. Above anyone else you would be able to shed light on a lot of this stuff. So please post if you can help me! OK, off to meditate then sleep. Thanks everyone, and Namaste! - DreamBliss