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Under my happy-go-lucky Philosophical Daoism there lies a depression that's almost as old as I am. I am by nurture (or maybe nature) a very, very angry man. I can get incredibly violent at times swinging to very dangerous extremes; IE: as a kid I got into a very nasty fight with a bully, where I began gouging the boy's eyes out with my thumbs, thankfully we were separated before any harm was done. Other time, not too many years ago as an angsty hormone-pumped teenager I nearly stabbed myself on the neck to stop me from stabbing someone else. I've manage to keep myself in check (save a couple of close calls) for a very long time but it's becoming increasingly difficult for me not to snap and retaliate for the tiniest of things. I've taken to obsessive wallpunching to quick-vent anger.Whenever I feel this anger I tried meditating but it just sort of pisses me off even harder and I ragequit. After years and years of fighting this thing, it's only after deep examination of the TTC that I've realize that I don't have to "fight it" anymore, supressing it and keeping it under check's done nothing for me other than making it slip away from control as time goes by. Instead... I can harness it. I can redirect all of that energy into something creative instead of destructive, I can use it to better myself. Brilliant, but how and where to start? You can help, I know you can.