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I've posted relevant to this topic before. i'm in college and I'm currently in a relationship with a girl who I share a lot of common ground with both emotionally and spiritually. i had a one night stand and realized afterward that it was meaningless and basically a drain on my jing and chi centers (big surprise there). so i decided to find a long-term partner, because if i didn't i would probably just fall into complete depression. 100% celibacy didn't work out too well. since being with my girl I've really re-thought the concept of making love. Now i'm a taurus and we tend to be very horny, earth-rooted beings, i.e. we have a strong connection to the animalistic aspect of sex. but it's clearly stated that there can be no love in the same vein as desire. So what her role to me is is to "tame the bull" (she's a psychology major, so she understands partially where this is all coming from). i don't ever press her for sex. so far it's made things interesting, from an energy perspective it is somewhat fun being played with and occasionally having sex withheld, because that serves to strengthen the bond. also, it seems we both believe in quality over quantity, for one thing sex can get boring and there is so much else to do together lol. we've only had sex once a week since being together. I try to think of the energy curve as a bell curve. someone suggested to me, in the way of Melanesian peoples, to start slowly by caressing, hugging and kissing. that primes the fire; further on, i get hot and excited, like any guy would, but the difference is that i only let it go to a point. i breathe deep and remain conscious of the animal/human distinction, and also the fact that the intimacy i am being given is a gift, which means that i need to respond with love. so i shove aside the animal urge to reproduce and focus on bringing loving pleasure. as for staying clear of the edge, sometimes deep breathing alone works, other times i've had to numb it, though i'm trying very hard to not need any aids whatsoever because this should be mental. when it's all said and done i haven't dissipated any energy, what (i feel) i have given is love, not just an animalistic act. hugging afterward, talking, or even laughing brightens it up as well. i also do yoga immediately afterward which also dissipates some energy because it is a physical outlet of a different kind. the interesting thing is that i read that jing is a very dense substance, and i can literally attest to this; if i conserve jing during sex my body feels like lead. the interesting thing is that the more full of this intangible energy i sense myself becoming, the less and less i really feel like i NEED sex. it's sort of like, i've reached a benchmark, now i can focus on other things because i have been fulfilled again. i also sense a chi energy in myself the likes of which i had only ever observed in gay men. i think it's because most straight men don't practice sex the way i do haha. thoughts? PS: not kidding: jing conservation has promoted higher immunity in myself as well as muscle hypertrophy.....and i also grew a beard...wicked..