Search the Community

i've read a couple threads on this site of how a practitioner has been suddenly overcome with symptoms of depersonalization stemming from a meditative/spiritual practice. upon a closer examination of myself and my shortcomings i've seen that i also have been suffering from symptoms commonly attributed to depersonalizaton. my question is. is a form of 'depersonalization' the aim of many spiritual/meditative practices? it seems that there are those who have an adverse reaction to the sudden distancing between themselves/'emotions' and their surroundings, then there are those who openly welcome the effects of the 'depersonalization'. i'm just curious to know what the position of others on this topic. because as of late, i'm content, but i realize how sad i would normally feel- i feel very detached from many things around me. i've watched in slow motion as my personality has been disintegrating along with my relationship with my family, girlfriend and close friends. yesterday my girlfriend deemed our relationship to be too unhealthy to continue. a part of me was very upset but it's like it was frozen somewhere deep within me, i couldn't allow emotions to surface that i wanted. it constantly feels like this cold logic is present in my mind, sometimes it borders on sadness but it is more of a loneliness/emptiness i've never known until recent months. i don't feel like me. and i know that's probably due to egoistic wants, but having that degree of emotional stability amongst other things is a recipe for cognitive dissonance within this american society. i just lost my best friend i've ever had. i'm sad, but i feel so far away from everything. it's like i'm losing everything that made me, me. feel free to move or delete this.