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Hey, lately been feeling indifferent to everything in life. I have been working for a long time on solving my shadows/problems of course they will never end but I reached a state where I kind of feel I lost desires to many things in life. I mean tho things look interesting like tech, other subjects and forms, but I don't feel like this inner WOWness or want to have it and such. Life is more like fine not much excitement, I don't feel happy but not sad, more indifferent, like I m here what's next? I also feel sometimes, that I have let go so much of what made me who I am, what made things exciting and now stuck in a void like kind of 70% identity-less, maybe just a feeling. How to move forward? what keeps you moving forward?

Hello ! Few things about me, I currently reside in LV, Nevada, originally from Buenos Aires, Argentina, Background is Brazilian/Argentine.. nor sure what else to write here so I thought I would go ahead and share an experience with you all. Excited to hear what everyone else here has experienced! A few years ago and a few months then into my spiritual/meditational journey, I had an encounter that changed existence itself for me. Only a few people know, and recently I decided that I would share it with anyone out there so that they may see what the depths of your Self holds at all times, and anyone who has had a transformational experience themselves. If you read it, thank you for the time Here it is: At the time of my transformation a few years ago I was doing my regular meditation at around 2 A.M. The living room was virtually pitch black. 20 minutes into the meditation I decide to simply let go of my 'internal clock' that determines when I have meditated for the usual 30-40 minutes and I curiously go into seeing how long I can stay in that thoughtless meditative state. I would have to say about 45 minutes into it that I start hearing a very loud high pitched ringing/noise in both my ears.. as it got louder and louder so this bright light in my mind's eye would become brighter and brighter. This was a pure white light that looked as if someone had turned on their headlights to my face at point-blank range; my eyes are still closed this entire time and never open. This goes on for about 15-30 seconds and then the sounds and light are now accompanied by what seemed to be hundreds and thousands of voices giving me praise, so many voices that it was hard to figure them all out at once but I did not need or try to because I was receiving the core of the message intuitionally, I knew, I felt. It was like being in the middle of a fully filled coliseum, with everyone there cheering for you and loving you unconditionally with Love that reached deep into the past, present, and future all at once. These were immense feelings of achievement and how proud they are of me to come this far into myself, and that they have always been here and always will be here for us all. That they have loved me and all of us since the beginning of it all and continue to do so indefinitely. I was filled with incredible emotions of pure agape, pure love, and interconnectedness that took over my entire being. I smile with Love and Gratefulness and all I can struggle to say is " Thank you " as my eyes begin to form tears. As the loud ringing noise dies down and things begin to get darker, so do the voices dissipate. But it didn't feel as if I was going back down in consciousness, I went higher. Higher into a dark expanse that felt infinite, eternal, empty, vast and yet also containing the entirety of existence itself, all that has been, all that is, and all that will be. Which is plainly also, just all that is. There I could not identify with the part of myself that says 'I' or 'me' anymore. I could not understand it, it was so abnormal and really, non-existent to me. Not only was I in that Void, but I knew and felt my Self AS that Void itself. I was Everything and Nothing all at the same time. It was quieter than quiet.. no sound beyond the sound. Empty. Yet also filled with ALL of existence itself. Pure Oneness. What came, later on, was light, it looked like stars in the distance and stardust but also water, a different type of water/fluid. It filled my view with hues of purple, blue, indigo and a whole array of lights among this void. I stay in observe in a balanced awe. I open my eyes and break down in an utter joy that is beyond any comprehension. About 10 minutes later I comfy myself on the couch in which I usually would sleep on. As I close my eyes, I am in awe of that same sight of stars in this Void still there even after my meditation. It was pure bliss to shut my eyes and head off into sleep, gazing out into the star-filled space in front of me. I was whole, and one with All That Is. This feeling later went on to stay with me for months after, I was born again. Glad to be here with you all, and I'm looking forward to bouncing off of each other with anything that can help us grow -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Later on, I plan to host dark room meditations/retreats for periods of 12 - 21 days. Thanks for reading and Love to you all :)🙏✨❤️ ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Words can never convey the beauty of a tree; to understand it, you must see it with your own eyes. Language cannot capture the melody of a song; to understand it, you must hear it with your own ears. So it is with the Tao: the only way to understand it is to directly experience it. The subtle truth of the universe is unsayable and unthinkable. Therefore the highest teachings are wordless. My own words are not the medicine, but a prescription; not the destination, but a map to help you reach it. When you get there, quiet your mind and close your mouth. Don’t analyze the Tao. Strive instead to live it: silently, undividedly, with your whole harmonious being." - Lao Tzu (Hua Hu Ching, chapter 31)

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I'm curious what examples of absolutes others harbor as I find the concept to be inapplicable to all but a few very abstract concepts related to experiences which are really beyond words. It's usually a red flag and thus unsettling for me whenever a conversation enters into notions about complete, absolute, unchanging, never ending, undiminishing, etc, anything. Specifically I find the seemingly inherent notion within the common definition of absolute of any thing completely independent of all other things to be impossible. As to unchanging, or undiminishing... perhaps a few conditions I have experienced seem to fit the notion as I list below, but only from my current perceptual model, which is far from absolute and thus, for me, is not really considered definitive... it all seems very subjective and relative. Anyway, here's what the all mighty dictionary says Absolute: as an adjective: 1: not qualified or diminished in any way; total. "absolute secrecy" 2: viewed or existing independently and not in relation to other things; not relative or comparative. "absolute moral standards" as a noun: 1: a value or principle that is regarded as universally valid or that may be viewed without relation to other things. "good and evil are presented as absolutes" The notions of second definition of the adjective version and the noun definition of absolute moral standards and good and evil being absolute are ridiculous in the extreme for me. Utterly human mind notions that are fluid in nature based on cultural, familial and individual filters and as malleable as the context in which they are used to serve the needs of the one speaking in the current moment. Without any hardcore certainty, I consider my experiences of the concepts of Void... Emptiness... Clarity... and Awareness as potential examples for absolutes. These seemed to embody for me, as I recall them, to be experientially beyond the potential for diminishing and thus seemed to be unchanging which would satisfy one of the inherent conditions of the definitions above for an absolute. This however is based on my recall and memory of the experience and so pulls in all of my perceptual filters based on my reality tunnel and thus adds a rather high degree of malleability. I really can't fathom how they are in any provable way, independent from each other, or the rest of experiential perception based 'reality', nor can I conceive of a manner in which anyone could establish that they are, in fact, independent. So what is an absolute?