Top Ten Taobums of All Time

[Desert Eagle]

 

MY MAN CIRCUMCISION BE BAD EVEN IF NO RABBI SUCK YER SALAMI.

THEN IF DA RABBI SUCK YER SALAMI, CIRCUMCISION BE WORSE.

BUT LOOK, LOSS O DA FORESKIN IMPAIRS DA SALAMI POWER. YA MAY ASK, WHY? WELL, LET ME SAY, DA FORESKIN AT FIRST LOOK SUPPERFLUOUS UNTIL YA UNDERSTAND DA CONCEPT O BALLOONIN. JUST READ DR LIN SITE FOR THAT. WHAT THAT MEANS IS, DA SALAMI AKA PENIS, AFTER A COUPLE HOURS O BANGIN DA CHICK, START EXPANDIN TO UNHEARD OF SIZE. THAT'S CALLED BALLOONIN. SO WHEN DA SALAMI BALLOONS, DA FORESKIN ALLOWS THAT EXTRA STRETCH. WHEN DA RABBIS OR DA FUKIN AMERICAN DOCTORS OR DA MUSLIMS SLICE OFF DA FORESKIN, DA SALAMI SKIN GETS TOO TIGHT N SHORT TO ALLOW DA BALOONIN EFFECT N DA SALAMI CANNOT ELONGATE TO SUPERHUMAN LENGHT NO MORE.

BESIDES, THER BE ALSO LOSS O FEELIN BECAUSE DA SALAMI HEAD BE NO LONGER PROTECTED BY DA FORESKIN N GET ROUGHED UP BY DA PANTS N LOSES DA FEELIN, SO THAT FOR A CIRCUMSIZED SALAMI DA INNER WALLS O DA LOVE PEACH DONT FEEL LIKE MUCH NO MO BECAUSE O SUCH LOSS O SENSITIVITY, SO THAT DA CIRCUMSIZED SALAMI MAY SEEK FOR A HAIRY ANAL CAVITY IN ORDER TO GET MORE FEELIN, SO THAT MAY LEAD TO INCREASED FAGGOT LIKE BEHAVIOR, WHICH ACCORDIN TO DA TAO TEACHIN BE NOT-SO-GOOD.

YA SEE, CIRCUMCISION BE DA ROOT O LOTS O EVIL.

BYE NOW

RONNIETSU MAHALINGAM

 

that was epic, I was reading for some time about the issue of circumcision but this quote convinced that it should not be done.

 

my favorite members so far:

 

Trunk

Smile

Scotty

Karen

vortex

winpro

 

I'm sure there was more but I can't remember now.

[VCraigP]

In on particular order, except for SEAN who has to be the top tao bum of all time. such a bum that he never posts anything substantive here anymore. We love you man.

 

Mostly I want to get my votes in so Stig has to re tally.

 

SEAN

Who apparently is not here anymore, except for "one more personal attack and you are out" which comment to someone else (GIH?)really surprised me the other day. I wish I was in Costa Rica eating mangos.

Thanks for making all this nonsense possible. ON balance, probably improved your Karma, a bit.

 

Drew Hempel

Who I descriped to my friend Patrick as "Insane I think...but in a good way."

 

Pietro

Who obviously has good taste in Tao Bums. How can I not vote for someone who voted for me.

 

Taomeow

One of three living Taobums who I have met in person (to my knowledge). I still don't know what it is and I have stopped caring.

 

Song Yong Dao (sorry, can never remember how to spell your nome de plume)

Distant brother of Taiji lineage still longing for Portland at times who studies at the side of a true master, rock on! Love to walk Huashan with you again some day.

 

Rain

So often cryptic, sometimes harsh. Still pursuing the TKD while others drop it for more internal pursuits. I suspect she has a really good teacher.

 

Smile

Who seemed to gradually take on his real persona since coming to TTB. I have read you for a long time. Please stop trying to scare the hell out of me! (sticking head back in to the sand now). Thanks for all the links. Probably have pursued more things on the web on your suggestion than any other here.

 

Cat - Whoops, I forgot, we had met in person once. Somewhere near Tulum? You remembered me somehow, well done.

 

Ian - Who is the problem, Ian is the problem.

 

Mat Black

Who is brave enough to show his real face, and seems to have gone deep...

Also infrequent poster but consistently shows up, now and then.

 

Mal

Who apparently will never changes his avatar. Even though his single whip really annoys me - Just kidding, but really can you lower that hand down about a foot. Whoops, going back to my tag line "think not that all wisdom is in your school"

 

Karen

Bringer of Homeopathic wisdom, and other wisdom as well.

Heilkunst uber alles!!

 

Others...

Plato - who was really never here in spirit I feel. Not afraid to be his own brand of crazy

 

Vajrasattva - A lot of knowledge and wisdom in a young...ish man. Thanks for the instruction, cant say I've done it much justice as of yet, but in time.

 

TRUNK - Healing Tao apologist and system repair technician. Remember when? "I'm taking Alchemical Taoism down because of the karmic burden..." (badly paraphrased of course). Forum acquaintance since before TTB existed.

 

Lin Ai Wei - Buddhist and martial artist with confidence of his perspective.

 

Dao Zhen - Obviously well steeped in current Tao practice at the source. Advice to all. READ ALL HIS POSTS.

 

Hagar - Dont step out on my account. You're another long timer with value to add from time to time.

 

YODA - Probably wont be reading this here. Great leveller and voice of calm, left here some weeks ago. Will be missed. Will he return? I guess yes.

 

YMWong - Just for having a tag which sounds like "I am wrong". Often he is not.

 

VCraigP - Still struggling with my relationship to TTB and deeply grateful for knowledge and guidance I have received. Also learned how to witness my reactions to written words I strongly disagree with or have distaste for. Good lessons all.

 

Still here.

With sincere gratitude.

 

Craig

[Sunya]

popularity contests are so high-school.

 

1 vote for gold for being a cocky fucker who knows what he's talking about half the time

 

1 vote for drew for being an obvious schitzo who is very entertaining

 

1 vote for Lin for always posting with wisdom and patience

 

1 vote for Silicon for being annoying, yet rewarding, to debate with

 

1 vote for dwai, likewise to debate with, except more repetitive.

 

1 for for Hundun, LaRoi was super cool, whatever happened to him? gave me lots of great advice

 

and

 

1 vote for Scotty for being so cool and open about his experiences

 

 

 

 

 

VCraigP - Still struggling with my relationship to TTB and deeply grateful for knowledge and guidance I have received. Also learned how to witness my reactions to written words I strongly disagree with or have distaste for. Good lessons all.

 

 

 

who votes for themselves, man?

[Pietro]

Mal

Who apparently will never changes his avatar. Even though his single whip really annoys me - Just kidding, but really can you lower that hand down about a foot. Whoops, going back to my tag line "think not that all wisdom is in your school"

 

Let's all chip in and buy Mal a new avatar, updated with how he is single whipping now!

We love you Mal, stop making us suffer.

[erdweir]

what about Sean Denty? Everybody loves to talk about him....

[AugustLeo]

.

[Lozen]

omg, i forgot ian! and freeform.

[froggie]

1. Everyone. for some reason or another. Though some more than others, that may just be true.

[Matt]

Edited June 11, 2009 by Matt

[doc benway]

I have no idea how I would ever choose a top Tao Bum. So many folks have so much to contribute in one way or another.

Instead, here are 10 bums that I either enjoy reading or feel a personal connection with:

 

mat black

kate

.broken.

stigweard

buddy (I miss him)

rain

hagar

evZeny

lotus flower

unconditioned

 

and 10 more

 

trunk

smile

yoda

sean

goldisheavy

cameron

oolong rabbit

mal

freeform

lozen

 

and 10 more

 

hundun

dwai

scotty

taomeow

cat

lin

karen

ian

joeblast

augustleo

 

I could probably keep going but I'm tired...

 

I love you all

 

Well, most of you anyway...

[Aetherous]

1. Everyone. for some reason or another. Though some more than others, that may just be true.

 

I'm with Froggie on this one. Everyone contributes the best that they have here, and if I think that someone's contribution is less than another's, it might just be my own mistake, and it means I'm probably missing out on something great they're sharing.

 

Open thy mind! It's rewarding.

 

I can't think of anyone I'd leave off the list of top ten....maybe Goldisheavy. Yeah dude, you even voted for yourself! So anyway, I can't really make a list.

 

But I do have to say, Drew Hempel has posted amazing things here (although also a lot of confusing theories). So he is probably number 1 for me.

 

So yeah, I like you all. Thanks to those friends who voted for me!

 

Here is a nice picture to put in the midst of the text.

 

[mat black]

Creation and Craigs' posts were amazing!

 

How to start? I'd write this more as a thankyou and gesture of appreciation to people, rather than some ratings list of 'favourites'. It's bound to be woefully inadequate becasue ther are people who I'll forget and feel bad for doing so.

 

In no particular order.

 

TRUNK. Integrity, balance fair, informative. Heaps of respect.

 

LIN. Brother, teacher, friend. One day we'll meet inperson and sip some tea.

 

JOEBLAST. Thanks Dan for sharing heaps

 

OOLONG RABBIT. Gerry you are so funny. Can't wait to meet you and Dan one day.

 

VCRAIGP I admire your knowledge and articulateness

 

HAGAR. Always read your stuff man. It has so much sincerity.

 

YODA wise and funny. great combo!

 

SILICON VALLEY Has so much knowledge from India. Has me glued to the screen

 

IAN. Love your perspective

 

CAT Always interesting, honest and entertaining.

 

XUESHENG Steve, lots of respect to you. Admire your work on the forum and outside of it too.

 

STIGWEARD A glue for this forum. Welcomes new members, places emphasis on virtue. Toowoomba is on my list.

 

MAL Probably the happiest member. That queeensland sun must be nice. Respect mate.

 

TOWMEOW Very knowledgeable. A great writer too.

 

SCOTTY Straight up. shares with honesty.

 

PIETRO ALways has interseting ideas. We had a fun conversation once and I apprecite it still. Thanks Pietro.

 

DAO ZHEN I can't even put in words how much i repect you. You posts are like a gentle breeze carrying wisdom from the ages.

 

VAJRASATTVA So helpful to people. Practiced and learned heaps and shares it for others' benefit. Wow!

 

YA MU Unassuming wisdom and expertise. Lucky to have him on board. Everyone should read his stuff.

 

KAREN Karen cares and shares so much. She is a genuine treasure.

 

SMILE conveys a tonne of information and insight in as little as one or two sentences.

 

RAIN interesting and unique angles on things. So intriuging to read

 

FRREFORM can answer or chime in where others can't /don't. always has an interesting perspective.

 

BROKEN James, my brother thanks for the chats we had. How's the new hair?

 

VORTEX David, I always enjoy reading what you have to say.

 

....................and the 1000's of other I forgot for now. Oh, can I just say 'everyone'? Hope that's OK.

Edited June 4, 2009 by mat black

[goldisheavy]

I guess I am breaking some unwritten rule by posting twice, but this came to my mind, so why not. Please forgive me.

 

I agree that actually many people, or heck, everyone is important and makes everything what it is. I am not even myself without anyone here. It's not that I wouldn't exist without one of you people, but I'd be different. I wouldn't be the same. And since I like myself, it means I like all of you, this includes Mak Tin Si, even if Mak Tin Si posts 20 times things I don't agree with, he is important to make me what I am, as crazy as that sounds. Actually when Mak Tin Si doesn't post about ghosts, when he posts about the culture related to his way of life, I find it interesting. I like reading about the magic circle on the turtle, and about FU and maat (or what's the word for magic?) and so on. Although I wish Mak Tin Si would attempt to explain how FU actually works, the principles behind it, instead of saying things like "for this, use this Fu, for that use that one." That's interesting but not as interesting as it would be to understand the deeper and more general principle behind the workings of it.

 

I also wanted to give honorable mention to NeuralWire "the Bardonist" (I don't know if he will accept this title or not...). And if I signed up with someone to teach me Tai Chi Chuan I think it would be xuesheng, but alas, there is no Tai Chi Chuan over the internet. I like to read YMWong, but he doesn't post that much.

 

Now I am thinking this whole exercise is making me feel stupid, because I feel like I am not giving enough credit to everyone here. Let's say that strawberries is more fun to eat, and oatmeal is somewhat less fun. But oatmeal is very good. I eat oatmeal when I get a chance. But even though strawberries are fun, I can't keep eating strawberries without break. I hope this makes it easy to understand how I feel.

 

Also I noticed I picked mostly men. Is it prejudice? Personally I don't think so... I think women just don't say as much as men do. I don't know why. Do women get involved in spiritual things that much? I think in the new age movement there are lots of women, but not as much in Daoism or Buddhism. I could be very very wrong here, but that has been my perception. Or is it just off-the-beaten-path things? I think there are lots of women in the mainstream religions/paths like in Christianity or Islam. From the Western point of view, to study something like Daoism or Buddhism one has to show initiative, since it's not the mainstream teaching. Maybe men show more initiative. Like my wife! She loves when we talk about spiritual things and she loves when I share whatever cool writings I find on the net or elsewhere, but she rarely starts things on her own. I always seem to have to find something first and show her. She hasn't shown me any cool spiritual text that she's found. She's just not motivated to find those. She used to like to do lots of genealogy, but to me genealogy is extremely boring. Like what do I care who my ancestor is? Maybe I care what they thought at some high level, but do I really care who they went to school with and that they were famous for fixing watches or some junk like that? Not me.

[Mal]

Mal,

 

I'm taking at least a week to generate my list. I'm putting some serious effort into this and had hoped for more from you in particular.

 

 

Sorry, we are short staffed at work, so I'm having trouble finding time to get on the bums + a new bike so my free time is FAR away from the home computer Will attempt to try harder as it's been fun reading everyones lists.

 

Apologies for the single whip my friends but I'm just so happy in that photo I use it everywhere. Anyhow the current single really hasn't improved

[matt007]

Nice one(s) people. Okay, this is some funny, cool, awsome stuff.

[Stigweard]

 

OUR TOP 20 ARE:

 

Lin Ai Wei 12

Taomeow 11

Trunk 8

Yoda 8

Mal 7

sean 7

Cat 6

Dao Zhen 6

Karen 6

rain 6

Smile 6

Stigweard 6

drew hempel 5

Father Paul 5

Mat Black 5

Ron Jeremy 5

Scotty 5

SYD 5

Ya Mu 5

Vajrasattva 5

 

[Siliconvalley1]

 

OUR TOP 20 ARE:

 

Lin Ai Wei 12

Taomeow 11

Trunk 8

Yoda 8

Mal 7

sean 7

Cat 6

Dao Zhen 6

Karen 6

rain 6

Smile 6

Stigweard 6

drew hempel 5

Father Paul 5

Mat Black 5

Ron Jeremy 5

Scotty 5

SYD 5

Ya Mu 5

Vajrasattva 5

 

 

A belated birthday present from TTB to Lin

[Stigweard]

A belated birthday present from TTB to Lin

Richly deserved says I

[Prince...]

Do women get involved in spiritual things that much? I think in the new age movement there are lots of women, but not as much in Daoism or Buddhism. I could be very very wrong here, but that has been my perception. Or is it just off-the-beaten-path things? I think there are lots of women in the mainstream religions/paths like in Christianity or Islam. From the Western point of view, to study something like Daoism or Buddhism one has to show initiative, since it's not the mainstream teaching. Maybe men show more initiative. Like my wife! She loves when we talk about spiritual things and she loves when I share whatever cool writings I find on the net or elsewhere, but she rarely starts things on her own. I always seem to have to find something first and show her. She hasn't shown me any cool spiritual text that she's found. She's just not motivated to find those. She used to like to do lots of genealogy, but to me genealogy is extremely boring. Like what do I care who my ancestor is? Maybe I care what they thought at some high level, but do I really care who they went to school with and that they were famous for fixing watches or some junk like that? Not me.

 

Hmmm...maybe you should order your wife a copy of this book. It was written by one of my teachers (and a mentor) who lead me to meditation. The original manuscript was for her dissertation for her Ph.D, and I remember her going over notes from the editor one afternoon while I was enrolled in her Intro to Asian Religions course.

 

http://www.amazon.com/Journey-One-Buddhist...ntt_at_ep_dpt_1

[松永道]

Lin Ai Wei 12

Taomeow 11

Trunk 8

Yoda 8

Mal 7

sean 7

Cat 6

Dao Zhen 6

Karen 6

rain 6

Smile 6

Stigweard 6

drew hempel 5

Father Paul 5

Mat Black 5

Ron Jeremy 5

Scotty 5

SYD 5

Ya Mu 5

Vajrasattva 5

 

I'm simultaneously heartened and ashamed to be included here. Especially among folks like Santiago, Dao Zhen, and Lin Ai Wei who are such amazing contributors with evident knowledge and experience in their words. And a dude like drew hempel, mad-scientist of inner alchemy.

 

For me, I've only entered the door, and have so little to give that my name here can only be a testament to hours spent evading practice.

 

My heart goes out to this community. I really think it's a good thing. So many people come here looking. And some find just a little bit, enough to click and get started. I guess people like these are my favorite Taobums. People like Pranaman who came here searching and found confidence in a practice. And people like Mewtwo who came and are still looking..

 

There's a notion that students deserve their teachers (or lack thereof). And that somehow their Karma, De, virtue, whatever you might call it, is unfit or unable to distinguish oblique from upright. I had a lot of trouble coming to terms with this idea. But now I can see, the search is where cultivation begins. And over a long and genuine search all lesser motivations fall away. Only the upright last.

 

Then it's just practice. Making the upright into reality.

 

Best of luck everyone, especially the searching,

 

SYD

[Aetherous]

I'm simultaneously heartened and ashamed to be included here. Especially among folks like Santiago, Dao Zhen, and Lin Ai Wei who are such amazing contributors with evident knowledge and experience in their words. And a dude like drew hempel, mad-scientist of inner alchemy.

 

Dude, what are you talking about?! Your posts are some of the best!

[Epicurious]

the search is where cultivation begins. And over a long and genuine search all lesser motivations fall away. Only the upright last. Then it's just practice. Making the upright into reality.

 

dude...word

[Mal]

As per request

 

n.b. limited time only the classic whip will return soon to torment you all

[Stigweard]

As per request

 

n.b. limited time only the classic whip will return soon to torment you all

[forestofclarity]

The old saw "When the student is ready, the teacher appears" tends to be quite true. However, many people do not seem to be prepared for the form in which the teacher appears.

 

Just because one does not feel that one is a wise sage or a Buddha does not mean that we are not wise sages and Buddhas, at least to some of the people some of the time. The Tao is wiley and crafty, using us sometimes in spite of ourselves!

 

 

There's a notion that students deserve their teachers (or lack thereof). And that somehow their Karma, De, virtue, whatever you might call it, is unfit or unable to distinguish oblique from upright. I had a lot of trouble coming to terms with this idea. But now I can see, the search is where cultivation begins. And over a long and genuine search all lesser motivations fall away. Only the upright last.