Top Ten Taobums of All Time

[matt007]

Edited June 2, 2009 by matt007

[ryansmith]

mak ti sin ; ) --most enlightened

[Ramon25]

Trunk- most helpful

Ramon 25- most ineed if answers

[matt007]

Ok, I added some thoughts. Please revise your lists to make it more funner, these are not full enough of fluff and goofiness type details.

 

Oh, I recommend rating your top ten, from most greatest to least superstar.

[Ramon25]

matt007- most ineed of a laugh

[Mal]

Cameron - who matt007 is obviously chaneling with a top 10 list

 

Ron Jeremy - even though he was gone before I got here.

 

The dude in the raincoat we chased away

 

Patric Brown same reason as above

 

Koshan because he is invisable (Hi Buddy hope I spelled your ID correctly)

 

(5 is enough)

[matt007]

Mal,

 

I'm taking at least a week to generate my list. I'm putting some serious effort into this and had hoped for more from you in particular.

 

*Mal will be featured on my list for his expert combining of pot smoking, meditation and martial arts. Way to go Mal*

[matt007]

1. All time greatest Taobum, Ron Jeremy. This was the original Tao Lunatic. Since the very beginning this charismatic pimp of the Tao was destined for TB glory as he effortlessly glided into the Taobum hall of fame and then mysteriously disappeared, like all great sages of Taoist lore and legend.

 

He is perhaps best remembered for his poignant advice on Taoist sexual practices.

 

Here is just a small sampling of Ron's wisdom in this profound commentary on circumcision, enjoy.

MY MAN CIRCUMCISION BE BAD EVEN IF NO RABBI SUCK YER SALAMI.

THEN IF DA RABBI SUCK YER SALAMI, CIRCUMCISION BE WORSE.

BUT LOOK, LOSS O DA FORESKIN IMPAIRS DA SALAMI POWER. YA MAY ASK, WHY? WELL, LET ME SAY, DA FORESKIN AT FIRST LOOK SUPPERFLUOUS UNTIL YA UNDERSTAND DA CONCEPT O BALLOONIN. JUST READ DR LIN SITE FOR THAT. WHAT THAT MEANS IS, DA SALAMI AKA PENIS, AFTER A COUPLE HOURS O BANGIN DA CHICK, START EXPANDIN TO UNHEARD OF SIZE. THAT'S CALLED BALLOONIN. SO WHEN DA SALAMI BALLOONS, DA FORESKIN ALLOWS THAT EXTRA STRETCH. WHEN DA RABBIS OR DA FUKIN AMERICAN DOCTORS OR DA MUSLIMS SLICE OFF DA FORESKIN, DA SALAMI SKIN GETS TOO TIGHT N SHORT TO ALLOW DA BALOONIN EFFECT N DA SALAMI CANNOT ELONGATE TO SUPERHUMAN LENGHT NO MORE.

BESIDES, THER BE ALSO LOSS O FEELIN BECAUSE DA SALAMI HEAD BE NO LONGER PROTECTED BY DA FORESKIN N GET ROUGHED UP BY DA PANTS N LOSES DA FEELIN, SO THAT FOR A CIRCUMSIZED SALAMI DA INNER WALLS O DA LOVE PEACH DONT FEEL LIKE MUCH NO MO BECAUSE O SUCH LOSS O SENSITIVITY, SO THAT DA CIRCUMSIZED SALAMI MAY SEEK FOR A HAIRY ANAL CAVITY IN ORDER TO GET MORE FEELIN, SO THAT MAY LEAD TO INCREASED FAGGOT LIKE BEHAVIOR, WHICH ACCORDIN TO DA TAO TEACHIN BE NOT-SO-GOOD.

YA SEE, CIRCUMCISION BE DA ROOT O LOTS O EVIL.

BYE NOW

RONNIETSU MAHALINGAM

[Taiji Bum]

Ron Jeremy by a long shot but perhaps Yoda since I have never heard his say a bad thing about anyone or partake in any arguments.

[Siliconvalley1]

Yoda undoubtedly ...

 

Mat Black, Hundun (where is he these days?), Xienkula, Spectrum, Trunk, Smile, Scotty, Sunshine, Vajrasattva, Sykkelpump .... who did I miss

 

Oh, Drew H of course

 

Patrick Brown, a one time Spirit Ape (WYG), Buddy, Starjumper ... that's another list, of pretty interesting tao bums..

Edited June 4, 2009 by Siliconvalley1

[matt007]

Edited June 2, 2009 by matt007

[Pietro]

hmmm, ok that's mine:

 

Yoda (because he's the glue),

Ron Jeremy (because he's the pepper),

Plato (because he's the explosive),

林愛偉 (because he's the wisdom),

Max (Smile) (because he's the silence),

Keith (Trunk) (because he's the scribe),

Trip (because was the first),

Stigweard (because he's the mother),

VCraigP (because he speaks little)

and Taomeow (because she's a woman).

 

[sheng zhen]

Dao Zhen, YMWong, SYD, Exorcist, Lin - for their contribution on taoism not affected by new age

[宁]

oh jeez gosh i have such a long list, i can't stand the idea of leaving anyone out

 

i can't speak about the best, it's a too western concept, yet i can add a fiew names of the persons i really look forward to read their posts... everytime these particular names appear as posting messages, my heart speeds up a little, and i click my way into that particular thread

 

in no specific order

 

ymwong

taomeow

stigwead

exorcist

dao zhen

sheng zhen

pietro

smile

cat

sunshine

smile

xeno

ken

kathyli

mjjbecker

dog

hagar

rain

idguest

lin aiwei

song yongdao

mal

vortex

....

...

..

.

 

each and everyone of you make ttb look better every day

[Uncle Screwtape]

Taomeow: Knowledgeable, experienced, passionate, presents Tao in awe-inspiring beauty, has a relationship with the I Ching that I hope to have one day.

[Eric23]

Father Paul has to be on the list.

[mgd]

Ya Mu.

 

For exposing the nonsense and directing me towards clarity.

[Pietro]

Father Paul has to be on the list.

 

Absolutely.

And Little1 is right that 10 is too much a small number.

 

So for me:

11) Father Paul (Because he was not)

[rain]

1.father paul

2.spectrum

3.drew hempel

4. vortex

5. taomeow

6.ya mu

7.sean

8.lin an wei

9.and everyone

10.else

 

not sealed yet..

[Unconditioned]

1. Xuesheng

2. Mal

3. Taomeow

4. Rain

5. Goldisheavy

 

In no particular order. I like this thread because if your name is on the list it's an ego check, if your name is not on the list it's also an ego check.

 

Good stuff

[Matt]

Edited June 11, 2009 by Matt

[Lozen]

yoda

sean

mal

taomeow

karen

cat

lezlie

scotty

trunk

father paul

[Stigweard]

Add my vote:

 

Mat Black

Lin Ai Wei

Taomeow

Dao Zhen

SYD

rain

Ya Mu

sean

Xuesheng

Karen

Cat

 

And we get:

 

Taomeow 7

Lin Ai Wei 5

Ron Jeremy 4

Trunk 4

Yoda 4

Father Paul 4

sean 4

Smile 3

Dao Zhen 3

SYD 3

rain 3

Mal 3

Ya Mu 3

Cameron 2

Patric Brown 2

Mat Black 2

Spectrum 2

Stigweard 2

YMWong 2

Vortex 2

Karen 2

Cat 2

mak tin si 1

Koshan 1

Xienkula 1

Vajrasattva 1

Spirit Ape 1

Buddy 1

Starjumper 1

sunshine 1

Plato 1

Trip 1

VCraigP 1

Exorcist 1

sheng zhen 1

pietro 1

xeno 1

ken 1

kathyli 1

mjjbecker 1

dog 1

hagar 1

idguest 1

drew hempel 1

Xuesheng 1

Goldisheavy 1

AugestLeo 1

Lezlie 1

Scotty 1

[goldisheavy]

I used to like picnic... too bad picnic doesn't seem to post anymore. I also like Lin Ai Wei on his good days, when he's not just preaching dogma he's been taught. I like xabir2009 or whatever year or number goes there, although I don't like how hard-headed and inflexible xabir is... so I sometimes really like xabir and sometimes I think that xabir shares some of my opinions purely by accident and not due to actual wisdom, but simply due to being brainwashed in a semi-lucky manner (but in my view all brainwashing is bad, even if you're brainwashed with wisdom, still bad). Xabir's constant deference to Thusness and other people, like Namdrol, is really irritating to me. There was also a guy here who's gone, whom I liked. I think his name was "farmerjoe". He'd ask these seemingly simple questions, but I always found so much wisdom in his questions. He'd tell me that he's so unsure of himself and has hard time voicing himself, since he doesn't believe he deserves a voice, or some junk like that, but I always found it amazing that a guy who seems so wise would be so unsure of himself, while people who seem so stupid seem so sure of themselves. (I bet a lot of your think that about me too, although my self-assuredness is a rainbow kind, like a vision that disappears with the morning mist, and it's also clown-like).

 

The best diplomat has to be stigweard. Stig is so diplomatic that it almost makes me sick to the stomach. I sometimes wonder if Stig has any actual thoughts or opinions of his own, or if he exists only to try to reconcile others and otherwise has no purpose in life.

 

It's true that yoda doesn't get into any arguments, but I don't admire yoda. I prefer a fool who makes an effort and sometimes wins some and sometimes loses some to a guy who plays it safe and never strikes out. "Whoever doesn't take risks, doesn't drink champagne." -- proverb. Sometimes being wise is really a waste, because when you're dying you realize you were peaceful and pleasant, but you achieved nothing whatsoever except mediocrity in all areas.

 

And last, but not least, I like myself the best. Sorry! At least I am honest.

[Creation]

Oh boy, a fun thread! Okay, I'll see if I can give some people some smiles, laughs, or nostalgia at remembering things you haven't thought of in a while. I don't like top ten lists so I made a Taobum awards and gave titles to interesting long-time forum members / frequent posters. Naturally it contains some good-natured teasing, please don't take any of it personally .

 

<drumroll>

 

Sean: Granted the title Master Moderator. For every Taoist knows the Master moderates without moderating.

 

Yoda: Granted the title The Linchpin. What would Thetaobums be without Yoda? When things get rough, he is always there to smooth things out by being his wonderful green self. Despite being at the center of all the gossip, he remained a really nice guy. And thus also granted the title Mr. Taobum.

 

Taomeow: Granted the title The Mysterious Female for being the Queen of Tao knowledge.

 

Stigweard: Granted the title The Saint for always reminding us of Virtue and then modeling it for us, especially in his most admirable abilities in conflict resolution, and his modeling of non-action by staying out of drama.

 

Mantra68: Granted the titles The Long-Suffering for endlessly putting up with questions about and attacks on on his teacher and practice, and The Advertiser for getting huge numbers of people into Kunlun.

 

mat black: Granted the title The Shooting Star, because he very rarely posts but when he does it is always SO AWESOME!

 

Mak_Tin_Si: Granted the title The Postmaster for posting with a greater frequency than any other TaoBum by an enormous margin.

 

Ron Jeremy: GRANTED DA TITLE EXPERT O DA SHAGGIN' FOR REASONS DAT SHOULD BE CUMPLETLEY OBVIOUS TO ALL TAOBUMS WHO BE NOT PUSSYS.

 

Cat: Granted the title The Guy's Girl keeping up with this sausage fest in such a graceful way.

 

Vajrasattva: Granted the title Jedi Master for sending healing energy over huge distances to people he has never met in person. These day he does it by posting pictures! Also granted the titles Smile Master for using smiles (and all caps) to such great effect, and Troll-Friend for endlessly replying to people that he shouldn't even give the time of day.

 

dao zhen: Granted the title The Illuminator for being a Taobums Godsend: A Longmen initiate living on Wudang who came here to openly share his extraordinary knowledge of real Daoist Nei Dan. WOW! I count myself very fortunate to have read what you wrote.

 

Lin Aiwei: Granted the title The Role Model for growing up in America, living in China and studying the Dharma and the Tao, and coming back and living in society while cultivating and helping others with their cultivation.

 

SFJane: Granted the title The Inspiring One for going from such hellish beginnings to a very respectable level of cultivation.

 

fatherpaul:

Granted the title

of Sorely Missed

May your spirit soar

In the heavens.

 

Cameron: Granted the title Flip-Flopper for saying he is going to leave about a hundred times before he actually did. Or did he...

 

drew hempel: Granted the title The One-Postured for being obsessed with full lotus. Also granted the title of Psychic Stud for having O at a D's with young females while sitting in full lotus at McDonalds.

 

Winpro07: Granted the title The Frustator for having deleted so many of his posts before I got the chance to read them.

 

YMWong: Granted the title The Insider for giving us a much-needed Chinese perspective on all the stuff that is being exported to the West as "Daoism".

 

Pietro: Granted the title Geek in the Pink for simultaneously being the resident intellectual and having mad PUA skills. (For those who don't know it is a song by Jason Mraz.)

 

mantis: Granted the title The Precocious for being the only teenager to have over 1000 posts.

 

Witch: Granted the title The Daring for trying to duel Max Christensen. She also has tons of orgasms...

 

Buddy: Granted the title The Skeptic for being in IMA longer than most anybody here and not believing in anything paranormal.

 

seandenty: Granted the title That Guy for simultaneously acting like a total jerk and being extremely interesting. (Although he seems to be much nicer these days.)

 

Ya Mu: Granted the title The Sage because he does not flaunt his enormous knowledge and experience, and because keeps quiet so many times when others with less knowledge and experience jump in.

 

DarinHamel: Granted the title The Iron Willed for faithfully practicing alchemy from a book while staying completely celibate for 10 years.

 

goldisheavy: Granted the title His Royal Majesty for being so much better than everyone else. We are like the dirt stuck to the bottom of his boots, or the dirt stuck to the bottom of that dirt.

 

---

 

I left out quite a few people I wanted to put on the list because I ran out of creative juice. Mal, SYD, shontonga, Spectrum, Freeform, and phore to name a few. And so many of people mentioned herein are not done justice by the one aspect of their postings that I have chosen to award them for, but what can I do?

 

Peace to all.

Edited June 3, 2009 by Creation