Controlling sexual desire

[三江源]

That's a good question and one that I have been pondering as well. I know that I really enjoy listening to Ajahn Braham talk and its not just the content (which is excellent) but also just listing to him in and of itself is very nice too. He definitely has an appeal and a draw to him that makes him very likable IMO.

 

The Dali Lama is also very well liked. Listening to Chunyi Lin also feels very good. I've noticed many of the talks by monks and nuns that I listen to online have a wonderful feel to them.

 

It does seem to be uncanny the radical change in the way people relate to me as I continue to meditate.

 

*last night's adventure did make me really see the wisdom in the precepts that monks have which in the past I thought were the kind of "kill joy" rules I had escaped from when I left the church lol.

Yes, I've been around a lot of practitioners and not noticed increased attractiveness as a universal phenomena.

 

I think there must a shen attraction inherent in the situation for it to yield the benefits of heart opening and relaxation.

[Maddie]

Yes, I've been around a lot of practitioners and not noticed increased attractiveness as a universal phenomena.

 

I think there must a shen attraction inherent in the situation for it to yield the benefits of heart opening and relaxation.

Makes a lot of sense actually. In my own case and it seems in the case of others who post on here about increased attractiveness arising from cultivation the common theme is that we do the jing-qi-shen converstion type practices. What I notice just about every time I meditate is that I feel a lot of energy moving into my upper dan tien area. The upper dan tien is the abode of shen. It's also after meditation and feeling a lot of energy movement in my head that I seem to notice the most dramatic instances of the attraction situations that I've been talking about lately.

 

Also all the models of Taoism that I've studied say that for qi to convert to shen first the middle dan tien has to be full of qi. So this would suggest that if there is shen conversion taking place then there would be a significant amount of qi in the middle dan tien/heart area as well.

 

From a more psychological point of view, I've found that cultivating shen allows insight into the ego. When one has made progress with their ego and thus feel more comfortable with themselves then naturally the people around them are able to pick up on this, and someone who is pretty comfortable with themselves is usually pretty comfortable for other people to be around as well. On the other hand its usually the people with the weak ego that act awkward and thus make other people feel uncomfortable with them.

 

Oh yea lets not forget jing haha. When you cultivate jing it heals, strengthens, and nourishes your physical body. All those women at the party last night thought I was at least 10 years younger than I am haha, so I'm sure that does not hurt the cause either

[billb]

People here have their own interpretations about energy exchange, but one of the most experienced energy healers I have been studying recently says:

 

"You can't pick up other peoples stuff; the only stuff you can have is your own... as common as these beliefs are, they have no validity whatsoever. Here is an example of the experiences that give rise to these myths: lets say I am doing a healing session with someone who is grieving. If I have a lot of suppressed or unresolved grief within myself, then becoming aware of the receivers grief may trigger and bring to the surface my own. At the end of the session, I may feel sad and think that I have picked up the other persons grief, but this is a misconception; the only grief I have - or can ever experience - is my own"

 

So its worth reconsidering how these other people are taking your energy or bringing you into their level, personally I think it is far more likely they are just triggering your own issues within yourself, they aren't actually doing anything to you at all. As long as you believe it is the other people doing these things to you you will always be blind and unconscious to the real trigger and issue.

Thanks for posting this as it was what I have suspected all along. Apparently no one here is reconsidering though. Almost seems like an ego boost to say some female drained ones chi. I have never heard of any cultivation teachers talking about getting ones chi drained when there is sexual attraction.

[effilang]

Every time you get horny, Visualize a giant cold ice cube enveloping your penis.

 

Hahaha. Funniest thing I've read all month.

[joeblast]

Thanks for posting this as it was what I have suspected all along. Apparently no one here is reconsidering though. Almost seems like an ego boost to say some female drained ones chi. I have never heard of any cultivation teachers talking about getting ones chi drained when there is sexual attraction.

the root is mind, move that and other things move with it. when some other things move, manifest, its not an easily reversible reaction, at least not without using up some energy in the conversion process.

 

how strong/still is one's mind?

Edited June 4, 2013 by joeblast

[Maddie]

Thanks for posting this as it was what I have suspected all along. Apparently no one here is reconsidering though. Almost seems like an ego boost to say some female drained ones chi. I have never heard of any cultivation teachers talking about getting ones chi drained when there is sexual attraction.

Do you think its possible that since you were inclined to think this way anyhow this could have influenced your opinion?

 

Actually I think the idea of having your qi drained by someone else is a rather disempowering perspective and thus quite the opposite of an ego boost, which is why I suspect its so unpopular to speak about.

[Cheshire Cat]

Do you have an idea of the actual mechanics of this kind of draining?

[三江源]

Do you have an idea of the actual mechanics of this kind of draining?

Yes, its an unconscious resistance within the person feeling drained.

 

Ask happily married men who are practitioners if they feels this kind of draining... would be interesting, no?

[Jetsun]

Do any Qigong masters talk about draining in this way? There must be thousands of books written by masters who have developed acute sensitivity to energy, but I haven't head any of them mention anything about this sort of draining.

 

In my experience what is most draining is resistance to life, resistance to what is, which is usually caused by the mind telling myself that it should be different than what it is, that it knows best or knows more than God about the way things should be.

[Maddie]

This scene out of Sorcerer and the White Snake illustrates very well the dynamic of qi draining. It's noteworthy that this came out of a country with a long history of cultivation tradition. He does his mantra to empty his mind when the females are trying to decovert his energy.

 

[joeblast]

Do any Qigong masters talk about draining in this way? There must be thousands of books written by masters who have developed acute sensitivity to energy, but I haven't head any of them mention anything about this sort of draining.

 

In my experience what is most draining is resistance to life, resistance to what is, which is usually caused by the mind telling myself that it should be different than what it is, that it knows best or knows more than God about the way things should be.

I've seen it written to not let the mind be moved by forms a thousand times Entertaining a particular path engenders all of the results that flow forth from said path, be it good or evil, constructive or destructive. Efferent nerves respond to the forms of the mind - so merely thinking lustfully automatically entices the generative force to stir and manifest.

[Cheshire Cat]

Yes, its an unconscious resistance within the person feeling drained.

 

Ask happily married men who are practitioners if they feels this kind of draining... would be interesting, no?

 

This makes sense, but drew wrote that he had this experience even without being aware of the female around. He noticed it after he felt the internal orgasm...

In addition, married men usually don't have any sexual discipline which allows the jing to accumulate.

[Jeff]

This makes sense, but drew wrote that he had this experience even without being aware of the female around. He noticed it after he felt the internal orgasm...

In addition, married men usually don't have any sexual discipline which allows the jing to accumulate.

 

Seems kind of hard on us married men.

 

Energy flows through, but it is not draining.

[Cheshire Cat]

Seems kind of hard on us married men.

 

Energy flows through, but it is not draining.

 

 

I'm aware that people cannot digest this

 

This is just for those who are really devoted to practice.

[三江源]

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Edited July 25, 2014 by cat

[三江源]

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Edited July 25, 2014 by cat

[Maddie]

not to be taken literally, of course. the fox demons could be embodying alcohol, drugs, or X box gaming.

 

Looks like a fantastic film!

Yea its good, and one of the main characters is a TCM guy (not shown in clip) so I'm like "right on" lol. It's on netflix btw

[DragonsNectar69k]

Don't control your desires, understand what the opposite sex may be feeling. Tap into your female or male side and perceive sex through that lens. Now I am not talking about homosexuality, I am talking about mindfulness, only then will you be able to 'control' your understanding and desires of sex. Porn has given rise to a generation of sex dummies, who believe that all women wish to be jack hammered or anally aroused. It also seems a lot of young women have taken to favor this approach to sex so they can simply receive some kind of affection from a overly yang male. Balance and bridal your passions/desires through mindfulness, there you will be beyond duality and suffering.

 

Also if one is trying to see if they can go without sex, yes it is possible to stop masturbating or having sex for some time. But realize that eventually one will need to release if one is not able to transmute or sublimate there energy some how. Eventually your energy will begin stagnating if one chooses to stop having sex all together. At least it seems so.

[Cheshire Cat]

without being consciously aware of the female, yeh.

 

I dont think conscious awareness is much more than tip o iceberg though is it.

 

Most men dont allow jing to accumulate, you are right.

 

I meant, within the context here, speaking to relevant married men who would be able to discuss this issue with any comprehension and experience. Sorry, I didnt mean just ask a bloke on the bus home from work, no.

 

You know, to accumulate jing one needs celibacy + meditation, according to all daoist sources.

A married man generally can't do this, especially in our modern society where the lady will say: "No sex, eh? Ok, divorce!"

 

Sure, there are men who practice meditation and have no sexual discipline claiming that sex has no draining effects on them.

But this is because the human body is highly adaptive.

[DragonsNectar69k]

You know, to accumulate jing one needs celibacy + meditation, according to all daoist sources.

A married man generally can't do this, especially in our modern society where the lady will say: "No sex, eh? Ok, divorce!"

 

Sure, there are men who practice meditation and have no sexual discipline claiming that sex has no draining effects on them.

But this is because the human body is highly adaptive.

 

With a partner, one can cultivate through tantric techniques. But that requires two relatively conscious individuals who are 'enlightened'. A partner can drain the other easily, if there is no balance in the relationship.

[三江源]

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Edited July 25, 2014 by cat

[Cheshire Cat]

edit

Edited June 5, 2013 by DAO rain TAO

[林愛偉]

You know, to accumulate jing one needs celibacy + meditation, according to all daoist sources.

A married man generally can't do this, especially in our modern society where the lady will say: "No sex, eh? Ok, divorce!"

 

Sure, there are men who practice meditation and have no sexual discipline claiming that sex has no draining effects on them.

But this is because the human body is highly adaptive.

 

 

HAHA "No Sex, eh? Ok, Divorce."

 

You know what I said, " Ok, divorce please." And I did indeed do it ! Happily.

Now, I am married again, and my wife now is totally understanding and supports my practices.

 

[billb]

Do you think its possible that since you were inclined to think this way anyhow this could have influenced your opinion?

 

Actually I think the idea of having your qi drained by someone else is a rather disempowering perspective and thus quite the opposite of an ego boost, which is why I suspect its so unpopular to speak about.

Actually it reconfirmed my opinion. I disagree with it being unpopular. I actually think it is non-existent. I believe there is a misinterpretation going on here by only a few people thus making it seem unpopular.

[Maddie]

I think several of the latest posts show the reason for the existence of monasteries and monks. These things didn't just arbitrarily develop over the centuries lol. The fact that sex hinders spiritual development is why the celibate path is seen as the most efficacious route towards enlightenment.

 

Is this to say that as a householder you can't make progress? no. But if the monastic life generally allows one to go further and faster, which is why it exists. From personal experience the results from celibacy and meditation are much more profound, and its not only the conservation of jing and qi that makes a difference, but also the mind is freed up from all of the additional distractions as well.

 

 

Actually it reconfirmed my opinion. I disagree with it being unpopular. I actually think it is non-existent. I believe there is a misinterpretation going on here by only a few people thus making it seem unpopular.

Yea that's where I was going with that. You were of that opinion in the first place, and simply proselytized your own opinion lol, which is what most people do.. I don't know if its unpopular at all, actually it was my opinion that the other point of view was generally less popular. I don't think people enjoy thinking they can be affected by others to such a degree.