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longrhythm

Semen retention, mental well being, physical regeneration

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This is a post that would likely belong in a personal practice journal, but since I don't have one, I'll post here. I hope it's of value to others anyway.

 

I chose the name longrhythm because it's an optimistic way of saying I'm a slow learner. That means when something clicks it's extra important that I note it down, cause it takes too long to learn the same lesson twice.

 

I felt something instinctual about semen retention long before I learned of it's esoteric existence. Here's my story and what I've learned from it.

 

A few years back I dated a girl who drove my yang energy crazy. I didn't control myself at all. I was emotionally needy, insecure, volatile, reactive, and could only control my bedroom pace after a preliminary ejaculation, if at all.

 

At some point I came up with the idea on my own that my ability to control my ejaculation was parallel to my ability to control my behavior and emotional state. I felt the desire to begin retaining my semen instinctually. I never could though, it was by then habit for me to rescind all self control to her. After we broke up I became addicted to ejaculation. I would cum by any means necessary at least four times a day. I became depressed and depleted. I started showing physical symptoms- weight loss, sunken eyes. The worst of which was a psycho-somatic itching- where I'd scratch til I had hives and then til I bled. Two dermatology visits confirmed it was all in my head.

 

After starting my practices, I met a new girl. I was dedicated and successfully retained through ninety percent of our lovemaking, with little to no temptation to ejaculate, regardless of the circumstance of the moment. I was emotionally strong. I was physically fit and healthy. After five or six months, I started to cave to temptation. I started to take her invitations. I started ejaculating more often than not, thinking that since I was holding off that it was by choice, when I was ready, making it OK. Next thing I know, the itching comes back. Suddenly I'm insecure about her modeling and music career. I'm low on energy and losing interest in the things I like to do. My stabilizing muscles are getting lazy and my posture suffers. The relationship suffers.

 

I'm sure there's a point where jing in the body is right where it should be. At the height of my retention there were times where I would build up painful pressure, and release was the only relief, so there's certainly two extremes here. But what I'm learning is how elusive that right balance really is. And how slippery a slope it can be to slide right back into that addiction to ejaculating.

 

I've started to map a distinct spectrum of wellness, incorporating both mental and physical states, that correlates directly to the level of jing I maintain in the body, and starting to see where I lie on that spectrum rather clearly.

 

I'm looking forward to grasping the point of balance, and allowing my life to flow from there. And I'm immensely grateful to this community for helping me along my search, and providing me a place to realize my progress.

 

Brian

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