Fox Posted July 13, 2009 My friends, I have been very peaceful since engulfing (or easing, rather) my mind into eastern philosophies.--Buddhism, and taoism, yoga and various meditations. My family is a very southern and italian family. Oh yes, so think loud and confrontational, still loving but.. a bit hectic. They are also very negative and as a young man this really stunted me psychologically.. I would see my parents freaking out over the slightest thing, so that's how I learned to deal with issues, and so forth. I recently started getting into Buddhism and taoism, various meditation and yoga.. I feel as if it just makes sense to me, and some of the teachings are beautiful and I think fit me well, although I am still very novice when it comes to such things. I have learned how to brush things off that usually may bother me, I have learned how to view things differently and handle things differently such as when I can tell someone wants conflict, I've learned how to not get worked up and remain at peace..for the most part. However, I find problems on my journey as well. (Of course "my journey" is more in depth, just rather not bore you : ) ) How do I know that I am really happy? How do I know that I am really at peace with my negative environment and I am not just surpressing these emotions? My family has noticed how calm I have become, and how I handle difficulties much differently, and I am much happier, so I feel as if I have been making personal progress, however I'll sometimes have dreams of me showing my anger and ill feelings.. Maybe saying things I normally would've said or doing things I normally would have done? What does this mean and how can I fix this? Does this mean that this peaceful new feeling isnt really me? Secondly, Ignorance just pisses me off. I usually keep my cool, for instance I recently got a job playing music for a church, my family went to see me, they have ill feelings about my priest, whose homily was about getting rid of baggage, well I get home and they start cursing the priest saying he should take a note from his own book, insert various profanities.. Now this just set me off because.. its contradictory and, its so offputting.. this and various other prejudices and racism and..all that just makes me lose my chill, I guess you could say. How do you remain friendly with someone who thinks so evil? I'm not asking for all the answers, and some of this may even seem silly, but thank you for reading. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
thelerner Posted July 13, 2009 Good question. How do you know if you're happy or just repressing . Asking 'Am I happy?' won't solve the matter, quite the opposite. I suggest-Writing. Write out 2 pages a day, write quickly- let the writing flow without thoughts or preconception, without judging or reading. Its hard, but once you get the hang of it, you'll be seeing your subconscious at work. Try it for two weeks, I think you'll get your answer. Michael Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Marblehead Posted July 13, 2009 Hi Fox, Thelerner's suggestion is good even though I do not practice it myself. It will at least allow you to see yourself a little bit. I can't offer any direct answers to your questions but I would like to say this: Once you get to the point where you no longer have thoughts like "I should have done this instead of that" you will be at peace with your environment. I know it is very hard remaining positive when your surroundings are negative. But remember, you are not trying to change the world or anyone else; what you are trying to do is find inner peace. (Acceptance) Happiness is a tricky concept. I think that if you find inner peace you will at that moment have happiness. But don't expect some over-powering, exhalting sensation of ecstasy - those are rare, IMO. But when you start finding moments in your life where nothing moves you do do something I think you will be in a state that can be called 'happy'. Be well! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Eric23 Posted July 13, 2009 If I understand Buddhism correctly... don't become attached to the notion that you have to be happy. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Wayfarer64 Posted July 13, 2009 Reflect on what does make you happy. Meditate on ways that may have possible entries into the realm of that happiness... Open yourself to the possibility of change- big or little, if yr environment offers more conflict than repose; look to change yr venue!- Take yr act on the road and find the place you belong in this world! Love to all-Pat Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DaoChild Posted July 13, 2009 My friends, I have been very peaceful since engulfing (or easing, rather) my mind into eastern philosophies.--Buddhism, and taoism, yoga and various meditations. My family is a very southern and italian family. Oh yes, so think loud and confrontational, still loving but.. a bit hectic. They are also very negative and as a young man this really stunted me psychologically.. I would see my parents freaking out over the slightest thing, so that's how I learned to deal with issues, and so forth. I recently started getting into Buddhism and taoism, various meditation and yoga.. I feel as if it just makes sense to me, and some of the teachings are beautiful and I think fit me well, although I am still very novice when it comes to such things. I have learned how to brush things off that usually may bother me, I have learned how to view things differently and handle things differently such as when I can tell someone wants conflict, I've learned how to not get worked up and remain at peace..for the most part. However, I find problems on my journey as well. (Of course "my journey" is more in depth, just rather not bore you : ) ) How do I know that I am really happy? How do I know that I am really at peace with my negative environment and I am not just surpressing these emotions? My family has noticed how calm I have become, and how I handle difficulties much differently, and I am much happier, so I feel as if I have been making personal progress, however I'll sometimes have dreams of me showing my anger and ill feelings.. Maybe saying things I normally would've said or doing things I normally would have done? What does this mean and how can I fix this? Does this mean that this peaceful new feeling isnt really me? Secondly, Ignorance just pisses me off. I usually keep my cool, for instance I recently got a job playing music for a church, my family went to see me, they have ill feelings about my priest, whose homily was about getting rid of baggage, well I get home and they start cursing the priest saying he should take a note from his own book, insert various profanities.. Now this just set me off because.. its contradictory and, its so offputting.. this and various other prejudices and racism and..all that just makes me lose my chill, I guess you could say. How do you remain friendly with someone who thinks so evil? I'm not asking for all the answers, and some of this may even seem silly, but thank you for reading. Hi Fox, There's a story about a man that goes to his teacher for guidance. HE says he is having a hard time controlling his anger. He sees people criticize others while remaining totally unaware of their own faults. The sage asks him, "Aren't you the villager who narrowly escaped death last year?" He says yes; it was a terrible experience that occurred when he ventured too far into the forest and was cornered by a pack of hungry wolves. "So what did you do?" the sage asked. "I climbed up a tree just in time before they converged on me. These wolves were big and I had no doubt they could tear me to pieces." "So you were trapped?" "Yes. I knew I wouldn't last long without water and food, so I waited for them to relax their guard. When I thought it was safe enough, I would jump down, make a mad dash for the next tree, and then climb up before they converged again." "This sounds like quite an ordeal." "Yes--altogether it lasted two days. I thought I would surely die. Luckily a group of hunters approached when I got close enough to the village. The wolves scatterd and I was saved." "I'm curious about one thing," said the sage. "During the experience, were you ever offended by the wolves?" "What? Offended?" "Yes. Did you feel offended, or insulted by the wolves?" "Of course not, Master. That thought never crossed my mind." "Why not? They wanted nothing more than to bite into you, did they not? They wanted to kill you, did they not?" "Yes, but that is what wolves do! They were just being themselves. It would be absurd for me to take offense." From Derek Lyn's book, The Tao of Daily Life. Good luck Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
findley Posted July 13, 2009 That's an awesome story, daochild I would suggest to you, Fox, that you need to forget your need for happiness. 'Happiness' is an emotion. It is just as valid an emotion as anger, anxiety, or suicidal depression. In my personal practice, I cultivate something within myself, (I call it a 'soul'.. but also perhaps, 'the light',) that lies on a subtler level of my being. It persists throughout the day, despite my emotional tendencies. What does this mean? Happy, anrgy, even suicidally depressed; the subtle bliss of the cultivated light persists. You have to accept that, psychologically speaking, you are going to continue to experience shifts in emotional states. You are not going to 'plateau' at some emotional state. -And you really wouldn't be living, if you did. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Wayfarer64 Posted July 13, 2009 (edited) Hi Fox, There's a story about a man that goes to his teacher for guidance. HE says he is having a hard time controlling his anger. He sees people criticize others while remaining totally unaware of their own faults. The sage asks him, "Aren't you the villager who narrowly escaped death last year?" He says yes; it was a terrible experience that occurred when he ventured too far into the forest and was cornered by a pack of hungry wolves. "So what did you do?" the sage asked. "I climbed up a tree just in time before they converged on me. These wolves were big and I had no doubt they could tear me to pieces." "So you were trapped?" "Yes. I knew I wouldn't last long without water and food, so I waited for them to relax their guard. When I thought it was safe enough, I would jump down, make a mad dash for the next tree, and then climb up before they converged again." "This sounds like quite an ordeal." "Yes--altogether it lasted two days. I thought I would surely die. Luckily a group of hunters approached when I got close enough to the village. The wolves scatterd and I was saved." "I'm curious about one thing," said the sage. "During the experience, were you ever offended by the wolves?" "What? Offended?" "Yes. Did you feel offended, or insulted by the wolves?" "Of course not, Master. That thought never crossed my mind." "Why not? They wanted nothing more than to bite into you, did they not? They wanted to kill you, did they not?" "Yes, but that is what wolves do! They were just being themselves. It would be absurd for me to take offense." From Derek Lyn's book, The Tao of Daily Life. Good luck I am sad to read this! - It is grossly unfair to wolves who have never been known to attack people in the manner indicated! But the message is fine - act according to yr own nature and you cause no offense! Edited July 13, 2009 by Wayfarer64 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Wayfarer64 Posted July 13, 2009 just for laughs- this may lift yr spirits!- http://www.pdgart.com/jokes.html Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rain Posted July 13, 2009 (edited) Be happy that the real you is ventilating through your dreams, that is, what makes you think that the "wake you" is not real if the "dream you" is reflecting something different than your consious will? have a heart. you are balancing. you'll be just fine. Edited July 13, 2009 by rain Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
