Is the opposite sex a hindrance?

[awake]

I'd like to hear your all perspectives on the opposite sex and if it is a hindrance or enabler to the practice.

 

I am specifically a male interested in females, and although I have not been with one yet sexually, I already notice my attachment to them and desire for them, physically, and perhaps to their personality.

 

I have had some pretty meditation-like feelings with girls while we touched or shared touching moments (physically or emotionally) and moments of openness.. But I think that it holds potential to lead me astray from my practice of mindfullness by a. having to listen to them talk and interact with them and b. the attachment I feel to them.

 

But Bob Marley said every man needs a woman, every woman needs her man, and even Eckhart Tolle has a girlfriend/wife (whatever they are now) that teaches with him. But he is supposedly enlightened, and I am not.

 

So my question is having a love & sex relationship with a female a hindrance, an enabler, or irrelevant on the path of spiritual practice (mindfull/less/ness)

 

Thanks

[magus]

.....

Edited July 8, 2010 by magus

[Sloppy Zhang]

Most of what I've read and most of whom I've heard give speeches/lecture have said that having a woman in your life is great and can be beneficial to all parties.

Edited July 15, 2009 by Sloppy Zhang

[Mal]

So my question is having a love & sex relationship with a female a hindrance, an enabler, or irrelevant on the path of spiritual practice (mindfull/less/ness)

 

Personally I find it an enabler, but beware because they are very distracting

[taijilee]

I second Mal's reply

[awake]

Thanks for the input so far guys, but I definitely want to hear more.

 

I have few urges in this world,

 

To think, to bone, and (recently) to make money.

 

I wonder what draws me to each of them, but I do notice wanting and attachment towards women - correct me if I'm wrong but doesn't becoming attached to concepts draw you away from the path?

 

What makes you think they're enablers, Mal and taijilee?

 

I believe that I have issues to be worked out/through, and having a woman (physical thing) from which to get positive feelings takes away from me cultivating those from myself, and I think it may take away from my potential to be able to be self-reliant for emotional stability and et cetera.

 

On the opposite side, my feelings for them are also shortlived, and seem to be based solely on their physical presence there/physical beauty. Defienitely more feelings when I am looking at/touching them. Though sometimes thoughts of them do infiltrate my mind after they are gone.

 

So I wonder, are they a necessity, or a distraction/dilusion/not real in the sense that what draws me to them is fleeting?

 

From "the opposite side" on was added after thepost below me was made, and I agree man. So many things in so many different opposing directions, and even within some of those directions there is oppositition like what I just mentioned. It's all so confusing, but I worry if I take the path of inner peace through meditation, mind-exploration, etc, that I may miss out on an important time for socializing in my life. If I take this time to socialize, I may miss out on an earlier chance for less dependance on the external for happiness, etc.. It's all so conflicting and I don't know what to do.

 

When I'm out, I feel a pull towards women, but it isnt as strong as what I've felt during meditation, and when I'm not out, I don't get a pull to "go out and meet women" I also have no women in my life I see on any consistant (or predictable, or semi-blue-moon) basis besides my mother.

Edited July 16, 2009 by awake

[Applecart]

I find trying to achieve anything to be tiring. even if the thing is inner peace. I don't think the question should be whether or not to be with a girl, but rather, how should I be with a girl?

It sounds like you have things in your life pulling you in many directions. Following the tao is to follow your deep inner self.

Your awareness of attachment is valuable. But what attachment is, changes in every moment. It is not a girl or money. It is more of an empty thing. Follow what makes you feel whole

[Mal]

[Applecart]

That's really well said, Mal. I agree with you completely

[Birch]

I is a them and we still love you;-)

 

Love, Kate