Dealing with Your Demons

[King Kabalabhati]

This is probably just repeating the same ideas with different terms and approach but still.. This is how I see it.

 

Brutally honest, long-term relationships seem to bring up this kind of "demons" very effectively if there is a lot of communication between the couple. To cure these problems, a lot of GOOD communication is needed.

 

Now when a person starts to now themselves and being brutally honest, the same can happen within one's self.. The world and the society has created fragments within each of us, disconnected the direct connection between mind and body.

 

As the body starts relaxing within and you re-establish healthy communication between your mind, soul and body, deep tensions relieve, the energies that start moving create emotional illusions that seem very real and frightening sometimes. They have been suppressed because there has been no open channel for them, no place to go. It's a bit like having a knot in your intestines open up after years of constipation

 

It's good to remember that they don't any longer have to be a part of you, simply letting them go when they're ready to go. Dissolving is one way to put it, but it almost sounds too active. Just doing the exercises that strengthen the communication between mind and body should eventually let everything flow effortlessly, with all the other benefits of being whole. If you get one (or even more) sleepless night because of deep healing, just think of it as a small price to pay for your wholeness.

 

The Inner Smile is a tool that many people perhaps overlook because of its simplicity and seemingly unintelligent approach. Still, to smile lovingly at your organs that are in fact storehouses and manufacturers for many negative feelings, is to build bridges of communication between your mind and them and thus to integrate your being. Of course it's just a part of the whole healing and there are, thank God, many tools available.

[JustARandomPanda]

 

Damn. Reading stuff like this thread scares the daylights out of me. I've not yet had one of these bad episodes but I'm told if I persist with meditation then that check is in the mail. I figure this bad stuff must be the flip side to the incredible bliss states I often hear also eventually arrive. If it is the flip side it must be exceedingly bad indeed.

 

My problem is - when I read stuff like this - especially because I'm so fearful and timid by nature - it scares me enough I seriously wonder if I'd have the strength to continue. I mean...is this ugly stuff that you face enough to put you in an insane asylum or need heavy-duty psych meds to cope if attempts to dissolve it or just let it go fail?! I notice that Pietro and Wayfarer imply that is a very real possibility.

 

To top it off I just finished Gopi Krishna's Kundalini: The Evolutionary Energy in Man and from the sound of it his Kundalini Awakening was horrible stuff not even I waking up from a Night Terror (which are worse than Nightmares) can imagine. And he lived with tottering on the edge of insanity for almost 2 years. Fortunately for him he had a wife. She was his rock when all else crumbled around him - including his body, emotions and mind.

 

I live alone. No friends or family around and my BF lives several states away so there will be no one to turn to when I crumble. Am I risking insanity, permanent paranoid delusions or suicide (yes I own a gun - legally) if I continue down this path?

Edited August 18, 2009 by SereneBlue

[Pietro]

 

Damn. Reading stuff like this thread scares the daylights out of me. I've not yet had one of these bad episodes but I'm told if I persist with meditation then that check is in the mail. I figure this bad stuff must be the flip side to the incredible bliss states I often hear also eventually arrive. If it is the flip side it must be exceedingly bad indeed.

 

My problem is - when I read stuff like this - especially because I'm so fearful and timid by nature - it scares me enough I seriously wonder if I'd have the strength to continue. I mean...is this ugly stuff that you face enough to put you in an insane asylum or need heavy-duty psych meds to cope if attempts to dissolve it or just let it go fail?! I notice that Pietro and Wayfarer imply that is a very real possibility.

 

...

 

I live alone. No friends or family around and my BF lives several states away so there will be no one to turn to when I crumble. Am I risking insanity, permanent paranoid delusions or suicide (yes I own a gun - legally) if I continue down this path?

 

Well, I would suggest to get rid of the gun, just out of the fact that most of people daying by gun, are people being killed out of an error, from a family member. (or similar).

 

Yes, inner dissolvng is painful, but no where as near as the deep and continuous pain that comes from not inner dissolving.

second, there are levels. For example you only dissolve inside your body, and not your aura until you are confortable with ghosts and similar.

third although shit can happen, so you can find yourself in a really bad situation and then dissolving will really help you, in all other instances you can also adjust the speed quite a lot. The joke here is: do you want to go for the one lifetime enlightenment, the 2 lifetime enlightenment, the 10 lifetime enlightenment, the 100 lifetime enlightenment, the 1000 lifetime enlightenment. Eventually you'll reach there, it's just a matter of when. And in any moment you can change track (although if you can wait the last breath to move to the 1 lifetime enlightenment ;-) ). So you do have some elbow space.

 

Regarding becoming crazy, don't worry. We are all already crazy. We are trying to reach sanity. dshdsheqwdljd

dsjdwhizq

dsbxd

dhiew hswhs

dshd

ddswo dejic ew ipw edjwopdwew

 

I hope you feel more at home now .

 

But seriously, suppose something bad happens to you. The usual scaremonger: torture or rape. Actually why limit your fantasy: torture and rape. Or just witnessing it respect someone you love (and honestly that can be even harder). That is an external event.

You don't dissolve that can really mess up your life in a big way. If you dissolve it doesn't. And if you dissolve, and you can't handle it? Just go slower. Unless you are the one being tortured you often can go slower. And if you cannot, and you really can't take it. Well put it like this. The situation is not going to be worse than if you didn't dissolve in the first place. Yeah people can go crazy because of a bad experience. You are not special. Are we going to stay here and worry about all the bad things that can happen, or are we going to just have some fun and tease some buddhist along the way ;-) . COm'on :-P.

[JustARandomPanda]

second, there are levels. For example you only dissolve inside your body, and not your aura until you are confortable with ghosts and similar.

 

Are you kidding me? Let me see if I understand this...when this happens you crack up so much you start seeing familiars, incubus, succubus, daemons, hungry ghosts and residents of the Astral or Hell Realms evoked or materialize?!!! For REAL?!!

 

 

Wow...

 

 

Sloppy is this part of what you experienced? Damn this is starting to sound more and more like Gopi's experience all the time. Although it sounds like his was cranked to a Spinal Tap 'goes to 11' crack up as his Ego shattered into a million little pieces all at once (no stages) thanks to the nuclear detonating power of Kundalini. People should check the book out some time if they haven't read it.

 

Edited August 18, 2009 by SereneBlue

[seadog]

Be a warrior,don't indulge in such shit,look it straight in the fucking eye and see it for what it is.

[Pietro]

Are you kidding me? Let me see if I understand this...when this happens you crack up so much you start seeing familiars, incubus, succubus, daemons, hungry ghosts and residents of the Astral or Hell Realms evoked or materialize?!!! For REAL?!!

Wow...

 

 

Sloppy is this part of what you experienced? Damn this is starting to sound more and more like Gopi's experience all the time. Although it sounds like his was cranked to a Spinal Tap 'goes to 11' crack up as his Ego shattered into a million little pieces all at once (no stages) thanks to the nuclear detonating power of Kundalini. People should check the book out some time if they haven't read it.

 

 

Note to self:

never mention disembodied entities to people with an overactive fantasy!

 

No, no, SereneBlue, I was just ehm joking. don't worry. ;-)

[Vajrahridaya]

Be a warrior,don't indulge in such shit,look it straight in the fucking eye and see it for what it is.

 

Manifestations of cause and effect. Gopi was just experiencing the onslaught of his positive and negative karma coming into conjunction due to the fact that he did do lot's of selfless actions in previous lives, and his awareness was just illuminating this closet of karmas, or historical conjunction in the form of their effects through meditation, thus the onslaught of powerful energy like waves coming from beyond locations of time and place, but he had a strong sense of "I" as well. He identified this experience of all interconnectivity as a being of intelligence, only because of his strong experience of identity, which is also why experienced lot's of fear.

 

I know that fear very well and have had to talk to it consciously over years in order to go deeper as each night during lucid dreaming and also in deep meditation I'd come across this fear of going further down the rabbit hole you could say. I would come out and be mad at myself..."why'd you let your fear get to you!", but I tell you that level of fear is so deep and primal, it's way deeper than the mere fear of dying in this lifetime... it's a very subtle and powerful fear, that veil between I of reference, even of infinite reference, to, non-reference of infinite potentiality that just see's the all flow without beginning and without identity.

 

It's impossible to put into words that "everyone would get", but... hey... I always like to try.

 

 

Note to self:

never mention disembodied entities to people with an overactive fantasy!

 

I guess you've never experienced yourself disembodied and you I suppose cater to the idea that out of body experiences are merely brain made, instead of seeing that brain function as being intertwined with realms beyond the 5 sense designation?

Edited August 18, 2009 by Vajrahridaya

[JustARandomPanda]

No one has answered my question. Am I risking insanity, permanent paranoid delusions or suicide if I continue down this path and attempts at dissolving or letting go FAIL?

 

 

And I for one would like to hear what VH has to say on how to cope with the primal terror since he's seen The Matrix.

Edited August 18, 2009 by SereneBlue

[Vajrahridaya]

No one has answered my question. Am I risking insanity, permanent paranoid delusions or suicide if I continue down this path and attempts at dissolving or letting go FAIL?

And I for one would like to hear what VH has to say on how to cope with the primal terror since he's seen The Matrix.

 

It's kind of like the ability to get yourself out of a bad acid trip. You have to convince your mind that it's all just an inherently empty display that holds no power outside of what you grant it.

 

You really have to have faith in this wisdom for it to hold enough weight to dis-function the negative effecting.

 

P.S. Also remember that this infinite matrix of dependently originated relativity has produced endless beings, or endless mind streams that have been through anything that you've been through at least in essence, though not particularily, but in meaning and cause, yes... that have gone through it and ended up complete Buddhas on the other side! So, you can call on these beings and understand that their potential realized, is the same potential that you have, even if not fully realized, so... connect to that...

[Pietro]

No one has answered my question. Am I risking insanity, permanent paranoid delusions or suicide if I continue down this path and attempts at dissolving or letting go FAIL?

And I for one would like to hear what VH has to say on how to cope with the primal terror since he's seen The Matrix.

Serene Blue, no, if you are following the guide of a qualified tacher you are not risking more than in normal life. In fact you are risking less, as you have more tools to handle the shit that might hit your fan. You should follow the 70% rules, only practice practices that you understand, and remember that you can slow down from an n lifetime program to a 2n lifetime program.

 

When I speak about understanding a practice I mean:

-understand how to do it

-understand what you want to reach

-understand how to know that you have reached what you wanted to reach

-understand what can go wrong

-understand how to know if something is going wrong, and what is going wrong

-know what to do if something is going wrong.

 

A teacher that does not teach you all this for every single practice is not a good teacher, and you should consider looking for someone else.

 

Does this answer your question?

 

Pietro

[JustARandomPanda]

A teacher that does not teach you all this for every single practice is not a good teacher, and you should consider looking for someone else.

 

Does this answer your question?

 

Pietro

 

In one sense yes. Thank you. *rose for Pietro*

 

 

 

There's only one problem. I have no teacher. I'm going DIY on this as I can not afford a teacher and don't know where to find one. At the moment I am reading Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha by Daniel Ingram. I am hoping this will be enough since I don't know where a teacher is.

 

The Primal Terror experiences (not to mention seeing Hell Realm Beings [whether true or not]!!!!) is a big worry for me because I have major problems dealing with fear and terror. I've had this problem according to my parents since before I could walk. I must have had many horribly, unbelievably evil past lifetimes to be dealing with fear my whole life. Oddly it is the one emotion I know all too well. Most others I have a harder time being aware of.

 

 

Sloppy...are you dealing with any of these things? Is this what happened to you - the Primal Terror - to prompt your post?

Edited August 18, 2009 by SereneBlue

[Mal]

No one has answered my question. Am I risking insanity, permanent paranoid delusions or suicide if I continue down this path and attempts at dissolving or letting go FAIL?

 

It's certanly possible.

 

Just like it's possibly that anyone can develop a mental illness, catch a disease, or have a traffic accident.

 

Like Pietro said it's not that likely if you are following a good system and have a good teacher. KAP has an excelling track record for safety and that should be reassuring.

 

(edit sorry I though you were doing KAP? Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha is a good book the key question from Pietro for me was

"understand what you want to reach" That's difficult for most of us)

 

The problem is we love to think about what could happen, what might happen, what happened in the past. And we fill our minds with these thoughts till there is no awareness left to feel what is happening now.

 

Fingers touching the keyboard, partner watching the TV, cat on the sofa, fishtanks burbling, computer fan spinning, legs crossed. Cool song on TV now, what is she watching? All of this is happening, but my mind has been thinking about how to reassure you. I would have missed it all if I had not paused for inspiration.

(I'll go back and read and edit the above paragraphs now )

 

Real life example. I live where they are cyclones in summer. There is a very real chance my house could get blown away, I could also die. But we take the necessary precautions, listen to advice, and it's safe enough to enjoy living here.

 

Life is just full of risks......so dive in and live as fully as you can while you have the chance

 

The Primal Terror experiences (not to mention seeing Hell Realm Beings [whether true or not]!!!!) is a big worry for me because I have major problems dealing with fear and terror.

 

It may sound bizarre but "just learn to breathe."

[Pietro]

In one sense yes. Thank you. *rose for Pietro*

There's only one problem. I have no teacher. I'm going DIY on this as I can not afford a teacher and don't know where to find one.

 

Life is full of unexpected possibilities. You might need to get creative on this. Travel where a teacher is. Offer to help in exchange of getting the course for free. Work, and then do the course. Join a ehm, portuguese community, that offer qi gung teachings by the side. You never know where the next possibility might come out.

 

At the moment I am reading Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha by Daniel Ingram. I am hoping this will be enough since I don't know where a teacher is.

[/b]

I heard is good. But I am not a Buddhist, so I can't tell you if this is enough by itself or need some teacher by the side. I met a very good Buddhist teacher. She is the abbot of Upaya, a community in Santa Fe. She is the only women I feel embodies full mature femininity. Most of her life her job was to help people going through incredible sufferings (terminal cancer patients, and so on). If I was a woman in the US interested in Buddhism I would run, not walk there. From the EU is a bit farther. But I don't exclude I might visit her. She even permitted me to do Tai Ji during the Vipassana walking phase. The way she said "do it" was very funny. As if she was giving me some illegal, dirty permissions, hehe :-D .

The Primal Terror experiences (not to mention seeing Hell Realm Beings [whether true or not]!!!!) is a big worry for me because I have major problems dealing with fear and terror. I've had this problem according to my parents since before I could walk. I must have had many horribly, unbelievably evil past lifetimes to be dealing with fear my whole life.[/b]

Stop!

You probably haven't got a clue what your past lives where. You only know you are afraid, and this could be for thousands of reasons. Maybe you just have weak kidneys. Or you risked being strangled in the womb.

 

But by indulging in thoughts like:

I must have had many horribly, unbelievably evil past lifetimes to be dealing with fear my whole life.[/b]

you are making your life miserable by expecting that something bad is going to happen. Maybe your last life was bad, but you were paying for something. Now you have ended paying, and you are free. You just need to get rid of the fear.

 

This is a better thought, isn't it :-D

[Marblehead]

Hi SereneBlue,

 

Along my Taoist journey I have never had a teacher I have had to pay money to. But everyone I have encountered in my life have been teachers. Even our Buddhist friends here are my teachers.

 

If I had only one recommendation to make I would say this: "If it hurts (physically or psychologically) don't do it."

 

By "hurts" I am referring to long term pain or suffering. When beginning to exercise, whether physically, mentally, or spiritually we will always experience initial pain because we are using areas of our being that we have previously not use or used very little.

 

Be well!

[findley]

Manifestations of cause and effect. Gopi was just experiencing the onslaught of his positive and negative karma coming into conjunction due to the fact that he did do lot's of selfless actions in previous lives, and his awareness was just illuminating this closet of karmas... ...

 

 

Interesting ! I would, also, call the existence of 'demons' as a manifestation of 'Karma'. Going back to the concept of dissolution presented by Pietro... the idea that typical mind-body living accumulates experiences that have the capacity to 'fix' themselves into the spiritual body, ('knots'.)

THIS is karma, in my opinion.

 

The interesting thing, is that it is only YOU who designates Karma as such. For example, if you were to murder someone in cold blood, the experience may etch itself into your spiritual body/psyche and cause alot of harm. However, if you committed such murder without conscience-- without subjecting the self to a fantasized dogma-- then such would never manifest itself as karma.

 

This is a good lesson I learn myself-- that living without dogma means living without karma, and that the two perpetuate each-other. I learn that no matter what happens in my typical living experience, I should never blame myself, (perhaps 'learn', but never 'blame',) I should never feel guilty, no matter what the act... I should never allow myself to be wrapped up into any sort of karmic cycle, (typical for the normal mind-body experience...)

 

And, really... the idea of past lives is ridiculous... there is no need to associate accrued karma to 'past lives'...

[Sloppy Zhang]

A lot of good discussion went on while I was sleeping

 

SereneBlue, I'm gonna answer some of the questions you asked, and how I go through it, but Pietro did a great job of responding already This post might run kind of long, but I want to convey my attitudes in general and towards the experience in depth, for anyone who wants to read

 

 

Damn. Reading stuff like this thread scares the daylights out of me. I've not yet had one of these bad episodes but I'm told if I persist with meditation then that check is in the mail. I figure this bad stuff must be the flip side to the incredible bliss states I often hear also eventually arrive. If it is the flip side it must be exceedingly bad indeed.

 

My problem is - when I read stuff like this - especially because I'm so fearful and timid by nature

 

Sloppy is this part of what you experienced?

 

In one sense yes. Thank you. *rose for Pietro*

There's only one problem. I have no teacher. I'm going DIY on this as I can not afford a teacher and don't know where to find one. At the moment I am reading Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha by Daniel Ingram. I am hoping this will be enough since I don't know where a teacher is.

 

The Primal Terror experiences (not to mention seeing Hell Realm Beings [whether true or not]!!!!) is a big worry for me because I have major problems dealing with fear and terror. I've had this problem according to my parents since before I could walk. I must have had many horribly, unbelievably evil past lifetimes to be dealing with fear my whole life. Oddly it is the one emotion I know all too well. Most others I have a harder time being aware of.

Sloppy...are you dealing with any of these things? Is this what happened to you - the Primal Terror - to prompt your post?

 

First of all, I should mention that I am doing it all more or less myself. I don't have a teacher. The only way that it can be construed as not totally doing it by myself, is there's sort of an introspective club at school that I go to, have some neat discussions, mostly about the meaning of life and stuff, pseudo philosophy, sometimes spiritual sometimes not, every once in a while we have a guest speaker some in, an author, sometimes a professor, I get a chance to talk to them. Sometimes a meditation teacher comes in and I have a chance to talk to them one on one, but I have no formal teacher. I also do a LOT of reading, on the Bums, in every book I can find, eastern and western. I don't keep it just to spiritualism, I also look in psychology, research science, how the brain works.

 

Furthermore, here's my attitude to a lot of things: I must experience it myself

 

Basically, what I mean by this is that you read a lot about people seeing "hell realms", seeing ghosts and demons, getting attacked by demons while you are sleep paralyzed, visions by reptiles and angels, meeting spirit guides, etc etc etc. I read about it, but I try not to let it paralyze me with fear. I haven't experienced that stuff, I don't know if I WILL experience or if I will not. But I won't think about it until I have experienced it. With training and with more clearing and working through some of my stuff, maybe I will open up to ghosts, maybe I will not. When the time comes I will find out. Until then, I don't worry about it.

 

I should also refer you back to one of Pietro's posts, the one where he says in big red letters "stop". A strong imagination is good, thinking about the future and what it holds is good, but don't become obsessed with it and let it paralyze you with fear. Acknowledge that some people have experienced it a certain way, but realize that, first and foremost, YOU MUST EXPERIENCE IT YOURSELF before you can be qualified to assess the validity of other peoples' findings. I haven't seen ghosts, demons, or hell realms, so I can't say if they do or do not exist or if I will or will not see them.

 

It's the same thing with past lives. I've done a few things like tarot and stuff to try to read into past lives, looked at astrology and numerology. Got some rather interesting things. But I've also studied on the scientific part, chance, how cards will fall out, psychology of how the brain interprets the generalities that many tarot guides present for each card. I've tried a few past live regressions in lucid dreams, didn't go too far. Tried to contact spirit guides in lucid dreams, also didn't get me too far (the answers I got were along the lines of "not here, look somewhere else.") So when it comes to any karma I have, I'm not sure. I MAY have certain karmic things attached to me from something I did, but I haven't been able to discover it myself so I don't know.

 

It's hard to explain, your mind has to acknowledge two things as true and false at the same time, sort of like "doublethink" from 1984.

 

Furthmore, as I said before, I read. A lot. I read what other people have gone through, some people have gone through some real freaky stuff. One person in particular I read about was Aleister Crowley. I don't really agree with some of the choices he made, or with everything he said. But there are some things to admire in him, mostly the courage to keep going. He DID it. There are a lot of "magicians" out there who talk a good game, but Crowley went out and did it. Not always the results I'd like, but that's what I keep in mind whenever I have some sort of experience. I have to do it, have the courage to do it and go through with it. Crowley also said stuff like every experience goes into building who you are. Well a lot of people said that. I keep that in mind as well whenever I go through scary stuff.

 

Now on the topic of scary stuff, this is the scariest thing I have had happen to me. Is it the scariest that will happen to me? According to the stories, no, but like I said, I'm not further down the road yet, so I can't worry about that stuff I must experience it myself.

 

My usual attitude to stuff, when it happens to me, is "go with the flow", don't get worked up about it, stay calm, observe what is happening without judgment. I posted a thread a long time ago about some other experience that I had after a lucid dream. As it happened yes, it was freaky, but I was determined not to freak out, and stay present through the experience. It passed. I didn't know what it was, but it didn't scare me.

 

This, though, was MUCH harder to stay present through. I really wanted to stay present through it. As it was happening, I thought about how I needed to stay present, to stay relaxed, to ground it out, to dissolve it, that this experience is the kind of experience that I always wanted to have, that it was a sign of progress, that it was a hurdle that was just the next step along the path, from "talking a good game" to actually playing a good game. I had to let the negative go, and also I had to let my "ambitions" to get through it go (as it was very ego driven, like "haha look at what I can do"). In the end through, I couldn't do it. After it had ended it was still so fresh in my mind, I really couldn't let go. Tried to go back to sleep, but couldn't, got freaked out, and turned on all the lights, then stayed up all through the rest of the day thinking about it.

 

The posts here really helped. Thinking about the experience more today (but trying not to get too attached or have it create another blockage), and as Mal said, things look better in the day, it's allowed me to see the experience a bit more clearly, beyond what I was able to see in the midst of the experience. What I experienced, the extremely negative parts of myself, were part of human nature in general. I'm starting to realize that, more likely than not, almost everyone has these aspects to themselves. It's just that I got a chance to look right at it. And that's something not many people do, and looking stuff like that in the eye can be scary.

 

Once you get it into perspective, it's not that bad. You realize it's just another step. It gets you to the next step, and you keep moving forward. Don't be scared about anything, it's a natural progression.

Edited August 18, 2009 by Sloppy Zhang

[Birch]

Hey Sereneblue,

 

I really feel for your fear. Daniel Ingram's book was quite comforting (although I found his style dry) as is the knowledge that we are among people who have experienced similar.

 

I would suggest that the fear of craziness has as much to do with the idea that one is not "normal"than anything else and yes the risk that our society would have a less than pleasant places to put folks who are going through something as misunderstood as spiritual evolution in the year 2009 (or even just deep introspection and questioning).

 

There are also of course, real schizophrenics. Apparently Dan Ingram has a friend who is both awake and on anti-depressants...I wondered about this at first and yes it makes sense.

 

If you are afraid of becoming crazy, rest assured that you are not in fact;-)

 

Aside from reading Gopi's book, which I haven't done because it could have precluded my own experience in a negative way, there are lots of ways that you can approach the problems. I thought you were doing KAP with Santi too. Get in touch with him, he replies fast.

 

When the shit started hitting the fan for me due to badly executed qi-gong from the perspective of total ignorance on my part (I am a fellow DIYer ;-)) I came to TTB's. Here is some advice I got:

 

- Ground yourself, I used a footsie roller every morning and some rooting techniques

- Lay off whatever you're doing that's effecting the results you're getting until you know what you're doing

- Find out what you're doing - per Pietro's suggestion.

- Salt baths (I know, this one has been done a lot, but it works)

- Good nutrition

- Strenuous exercise

- Bodywork

- Massage

- Acupuncture (I don't know how it is where you are but these can often be deducted from tax)

 

Another couple of book suggestions that helped me personally:

 

- Zen and the brain (you will likely bore yourself reading it but it is worth doing;-))

- Eastern body, Western mind (very KAP without the wackiness)

- Glenn Morris' Shadow Strategies (if you're involved with his system,it helps to get a handle on the man himself)

- BK Frantzis (sp?) - Relaxing into your being

 

As to karma, my personal approach is that it doesn't matter what I may have or may not have done in a "past life" unless I can deal with this one because here I am;-)

 

As some folks have mentioned, it may have nothing to do with a person's actual worldly actions (here or there) and everything to do with their emotions (although our Buddhist friends would say this is also action and I agree, but I digress;-)) , their way of looking at the world, their preferred mode of perception, understanding, and whatever visceral make up they were born with.

 

It seems that my own shen was not so hot to begin with (my acupuncture therapist told me this, and she also gets great results for me so, whatever).

 

I also have a super fast metabolism, tend towards anxiety and rumination, am perfectionist (read "anal";-)), overly intellectual and a bunch of other things. But I don't care;-)

 

I agree that meditation is not just about bliss and I would defer to our young friend Findley who suggests that bliss-seeking is likely not a good thing to get into because you will be surprised when you find out that it's not always blissful;-) I also agree with someone I read somewhere that "once you have begun it is better to finish".

 

Take care,

 

Kate

[Sloppy Zhang]

Also, isn't there that saying that "crazy people don't think they are crazy"?

 

So if you start asking yourself, "am I crazy?" Then you probably AREN'T going crazy

[JustARandomPanda]

What if I told you guys I am dealing with an Incubus (I'm sure Freudians would have a field day with that one) and been using the advice in this very thread for the past week (just dissolve and let it go since it's a manifestation of my mind - or at least that's what I've been telling myself all this time). Currently listening to an audio book from the Dalai Lama - How to Practice: The Way to a Meaningful Life. But now I sleep only during the daytime with the windows open for strong sunlight. And I've been doing LOTS of Secret Smile too. With LOTS of Inner Smile thrown in for good measure. And for the moment I've stopped doing much more of KAP than Dantien cultivation and MCO.

 

 

5 years ago when I was still had Materialist sympathies I would've laughed at all of this. But now worry that Tulpas are more real than I ever dared or knew. I don't find it funny at all - it is so real it's scared me to death that I'm losing my sanity. The power of the mind and what can bubble up from the unconscious (or karma - take your pick) just astounds me. And all this before I ever had the chance to even get to the Bliss *or* Shit Stage One like everyone else who's posted in this thread.

 

 

So when Pietro made his little post about how doing this meditation stuff opens up awareness to GHOSTS...well...I came positively UNGLUED.

 

 

p.s. This Tulpa shows up during full blown daylight. I only wish it were limited to night time sleep paralysis - at least then it would be easier to blow off.

Edited August 18, 2009 by SereneBlue

[Sloppy Zhang]

What if I told you guys I am dealing with an Incubus (I'm sure Freudians would have a field day with that one) and been using the advice in this very thread for the past week (just dissolve and let it go since it's a manifestation of my mind - or at least that's what I've been telling myself all this time). Currently listening to an audio book from the Dalai Lama - How to Practice: The Way to a Meaningful Life. But now I sleep only during the daytime with the windows open for strong sunlight. And I've been doing LOTS of Secret Smile too. With LOTS of Inner Smile thrown in for good measure. And for the moment I've stopped doing much more of KAP than Dantien cultivation and MCO.

5 years ago when I was still had Materialist sympathies I would've laughed at all of this. But now worry that Tulpas are more real than I ever dared or knew. I don't find it funny at all - it is so real it's scared me to death that I'm losing my sanity. The power of the mind and what can bubble up from the unconscious (or karma - take your pick) just astounds me. And all this before I ever had the chance to even get to the Bliss *or* Shit Stage One like everyone else who's posted in this thread.

So when Pietro made his little post about how doing this meditation stuff opens up awareness to GHOSTS...well...I came positively UNGLUED.

p.s. This Tulpa shows up during full blown daylight. I only wish it were limited to night time sleep paralysis - at least then it would be easier to blow off.

 

Hmm, yikes.

 

As much as I would love to help, I really have no experience with this sort of thing, everything I have experienced have always been reflections of what's in myself.

 

Some people say that EVERYTHING is a reflection of what's in you, in which case grounding and dissolving would really be the best way to go, others may say there are definite entities that are external from you, in which case there'd be some process to dealing with that entity.

 

As I only have experienced the former and have no way of confirming or denying the latter, I can only say that one of the best things you can do is consolidate your own willpower. KNOW that you can overcome this. In an earlier post you said stuff about your own fear- well that kind of fear can really tie you down in situations like this.

 

KNOW that you can overcome this.

 

Know that you WILL overcome this.

 

That's all I can really say, though I know that probably doesn't help much

Edited August 18, 2009 by Sloppy Zhang

[freeform]

.

Edited December 18, 2019 by freeform

[JustARandomPanda]

 

Sigh...

 

I've just been informed via PM that Tonglen meditation might make things worse...not better.

 

 

Back to the drawing board.

 

 

Edited August 18, 2009 by SereneBlue

[Aetherous]

Be a warrior,don't indulge in such shit,look it straight in the fucking eye and see it for what it is.

 

Yup.

[Pietro]

What if I told you guys I am dealing with an Incubus (I'm sure Freudians would have a field day with that one) and been using the advice in this very thread for the past week (just dissolve and let it go since it's a manifestation of my mind - or at least that's what I've been telling myself all this time). Currently listening to an audio book from the Dalai Lama - How to Practice: The Way to a Meaningful Life. But now I sleep only during the daytime with the windows open for strong sunlight. And I've been doing LOTS of Secret Smile too. With LOTS of Inner Smile thrown in for good measure. And for the moment I've stopped doing much more of KAP than Dantien cultivation and MCO.

5 years ago when I was still had Materialist sympathies I would've laughed at all of this. But now worry that Tulpas are more real than I ever dared or knew. I don't find it funny at all - it is so real it's scared me to death that I'm losing my sanity. The power of the mind and what can bubble up from the unconscious (or karma - take your pick) just astounds me. And all this before I ever had the chance to even get to the Bliss *or* Shit Stage One like everyone else who's posted in this thread.

So when Pietro made his little post about how doing this meditation stuff opens up awareness to GHOSTS...well...I came positively UNGLUED.

p.s. This Tulpa shows up during full blown daylight. I only wish it were limited to night time sleep paralysis - at least then it would be easier to blow off.

 

Hi Serene,

I think most of the practitioners over here had some experiences with succubus or incubus. They tend to come when you start storing energy. No big deal.

 

You already received many good suggestions. Here are some on top of them.

 

A few things I found helped:

1) be grounded.

2) be prepared to meditate for long in the night, sitted. Just sit and dissolve. Whatever happens you just sit and dissolve.

3) If you really think they are entities out there tell them to go away. They do not belong to this plane!

4) Straighten up your life (For example many people masturbate, and masturbate with fantasies of sexual domination. If you dream (or use to dream) you are in control, then a succubus might try to give you that illusion to get your energy. If you dream that you are being forced (a very common fantasy among women), than an incubus might have an easier game. Stop fantasizing. Stay in this reality!

5) eat well

6) don't stay too much in front of a computer.

7) sleep warm. You don't want to be cold while you are dreaming. You don't want to have your body move out of cold while you are dreaming. Your mind would make a whole scary movie out of that movement. Just add an extra blanket. Yeah, even in summer. Your wei qi is probably down

8) clean the house. Energetically. If you can do it, good. If not call a local priest. Whatever religion is there. Every culture has people that come and clean the house from bad energy.

9) protect your house, protect your space. Statues, whatever you feel is protecting the space is good.

10)You can also take a red string and have it around your waist. Others use jade between the solar plexus and the LDD. I haven't used those methods in ages, but they effectively seal your energy from the outside.

 

Little story.

I just bought this house here in Portugal. It was full of religious images. Since I am not Christian I got rid of them. From that moment I started feeling presence. Some nice (the old grandfather who died in this house. Kind of accepting me here, and protecting the house). Some not nice (the kitchen had a really bad energy). This is a farmers house. The kitchen was probably the equivalent of a torture room for the local animals. There were places where they were left hanging, hopefully dead. But you never know, farmers are not always kind toward the animals. Today we cleaned the kitchen, breaking all the concrete that was over the stones, and getting back the old stones. Much nicer. And the energy is much better. We also throw out all the woods, and metals on which the animals were used to be hang. The energy is getting better. But I can see how the old granfather would want to live with so many religious symbols around.

 

PS. those presence are not in a dicothomy to be a materialist. Look at me

[JustARandomPanda]

*hugs freeform, Pietro, Kate, Sloppy and Mal*

 

Thank you so much. Especially for the suggestions.

 

I feel a wee bit better knowing I'm not the only crazy kook on TB who's going (or gone) through this.

 

p.s. No fantasies - it messes up my energy. I got that one covered as I'm on a 100+ day celibacy thing just like men do. Kinda easy to do when your BF lives several states away.

 

 

*edit: I forgot to ask. What is wei qi?

Edited August 18, 2009 by SereneBlue