Some Things I've Realized

[awake]

Hi everyone.

 

Please I beg you, that if you have any interest in helping people out through their problems, take the time to read this post and comment on it.

 

The reason being that I haven't been satisfied with my life for a long time now. I have tried everything from Outer to Inner Game to NLP/Hypnosis to Spirituality to Affirmations and everything in between and in that general field of self-help.

 

But one thing has remained constant in my life: lack of results.

 

I always had supposed I was depressed, and in fact the only thing I haven't tried was consciously feeding my depression. I just started university, and the new atmosphere made me absolutely sick, because I couldn't bare to see that I still had the same attitudes that didn't serve me or my goals, and could not do what I wanted to do.

 

So I decided that all my efforts to better myself have been in vein, and I decided then to sink deeper into my depression by affirming to myself all the bad things that were true in my life. A lot of the times what I was saying to myself was probably just complete bullshit, but there were some moments where what I was saying, I realized, was absolutely true for me during regular life. I want to note that I do not usually "feel" depressed, but I always thought there was something underlying that was keeping me from getting to where I wanted to go. I remember some of the things I've uncovered about my attitudes and actions in regular life, and I wanted to share them with anyone who will lend an ear(or eye) to listen.

 

Hopefully, someone can see the basic underlying problems between the lines of what my attitude is normally like, and recommend some program or some advice to fix that, or the direct problems themselves. Until then, I will be indulging my depression, because:

 

-The only feelings I can really make last are the ones that are bad.

-Any good feelings either that I make or get from myself or other situations/people are always short lived (while what caused it is still going on, sometimes not even that long), and never last.

-No matter if I feel good on my own or based off things that happen or other people, how I feel always goes back to bad.

-This is why I think that the only "real" part to myself is the depressed, sad part of me.

-I think this side of myself is always persistent and successful in showing itself, regardless of how much I try and cover it up by changing my attitudes, beliefs, or actions.

-When I'm not trying to change my state, I live in a state of mediocrity.

-From this state, I cannot get anything done.

-I cannot motivate myself to accomplish any of my goals or do anything I want that requires any sort of uncomfortable situation to be faced (i.e. meeting a girl, or making a friend).

-I can make people laugh that I am comfortable with, sometimes really often, but when the time comes that we see each other again, they are less than thrilled to see me, and act it. Sometimes they ignore me altogether.

-I cannot have the same sort of fun and light-hearted interactions with girls only.

-All my conversations are peppered with awkward pauses.

-This is especially true in groups, where if I am new to the group, or there are people who are new to me in the group, it feels hard to take the lead, and if I am not leading, I am usually sitting back doing nothing.

-I feel jealousy over my friends (what few I have) having other friends besides me, especially when they hang out with them.

-Whenever I am consciously trying to do something that involves other people (where I have an expectation of what I want to happen, even just a general vague one), I never succeed and always incur this feeling of self-sabotage, that works.

-This feeling and the success of its purpose also occurs when I am trying to create genuine change in myself.

-I am unable to create intimate relationships with people, (i.e. getting to know them at all).

-I cannot remember what people have told me in conversation.

-I have a hard time doing critical thinking stuff during conversations, like linking anything someone has to say to anything else (responding in any way), especially with girls.

-My default responses with girls are usually negative and deflecting, perhaps so as to diffuse the conversation and get out of there asap, even if I'm interested in them.

 

I think because of all these things, I don't deserve anything good to happen to me. So, I do not expect much out of this thread, and it is more here to feed my depression. So if you can shed some light on what I am facing, and how to fix or circumvent it, thank you very much. Otherwise, thank you for reading this far, and I hope life finds you better than it has found me.

[everseeking]

You are your memories, and your behavior is largely a result of you past experiences, successes and failures.

 

It takes repeating something 13 times to make it a habit.

 

You are the only person who can change your situation--YOU. NO ONE ELSE. People other than yourself can point you in the right direction.

 

Choose, do, lather, rinse, repeat. (need I say at least 13 times?)

 

Bird of a feather really do flock together, and misery really does love company.

 

Music effects your mood. Mood is a part of behavior. So is emotion. What mood or emotion is being expressed by the music you listen to? Oh yeah--happiness and success are also parts of behavior. Success is a learned behavior.

 

You may just have never been challenged. I have floated through life years at a time because I wasn't challenged. I get bored easily.

 

Maybe you are trying to meet up with everyone's expectations but you own.

 

People often believe lies, and eventually we start to believe what we are told repeatedly, whether we are told them verbally, or through body posture, attitudes, and other often subconscious ques.

 

Advertising uses this to its advantage, and so can you.

 

When we are children, we begin to loose our ability to sense the truth though other peoples body posture, feelings, emotions, etc.. whenever we are told things by adults that don't add up to what we feel is the truth. For example, Santa Clause (yeah, he's not real), the easter bunny, the tooth fairy, "...mommy and daddy aren't fighting..." she said with tears in her eyes, and so on.

 

I hope you meditate on these things, and use them well.

 

Look for any books by Eric Burne, specifically 'transaction analysis'.

[TheSongsofDistantEarth]

Reading through your thread, my intuitive hit that an important part of your feeling better about your life will be to let go of your self involvement. You must do some other things, I'm sure others will make additional suggestions, but the "magic ingredient" in making your life work starting from where you are now is this:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Focus your life force on serving others.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There are plenty of places to volunteer your energies. Start by loving other people as they are, and serving. Take your focus off your self.

 

I'm sure there is a nursing home within a few miles from where you live. Go down there and visit some of the people. Go to the VA hospital and play some checkers with some of those dudes. Volunteer at a church. A homeless shelter. A clinic for underserved people-give patients rides to their appointments. There are billions of opportunities to give your time and energy. Focus on others, not yourself. Just show up and give of yourself. You'll soon learn how to be and how to belong. It will be a way in to how to create that in the rest of your life.

[Lucky7Strikes]

Dear Awake,

 

You are in an incredible position to carry yourself beyond what society has given you. Let all the misery be your motivation to search out answers to why it is that you suffer. Believe it or not, you are extremely lucky to feel the sense of dissatisfaction and unfounded fear so strongly at a young age. Use it! Approach everything with that sense of urgency and intensity! Misery and isolation is an amazing gift to the young. .

 

Please do not fall into a state of self pity. Do not lean on others' shoulders too much. As everseeking has said only you can carry yourself.

 

You have listed countless judgments about yourself. You are only bound by these judgments as long as you believe it to be the basis for your happiness. Learn to be on your own and find joy that is ungrounded.

 

Also, it seems you have problems with interacting with others, esp. girls. It is a vicious cycle you are digging yourself into. Seeking worth from interaction with others can be futile when you are constantly in a negative state. In fact, you will really have nothing to truly give them except share misery. Learn to generate positivity on your own and people will naturally flock to you. As SoDE has said, a way of cultivating this is to learn how to give.

 

And if not, you'll be just as happy on your own. .

 

 

P.S.

 

Do not look into hypnosis, new age, NLP too much. Look into tradition and the words of the wise.

Edited September 12, 2009 by Lucky7Strikes

[everseeking]

Here are some selected quotes from your post that I feel you should think about.

 

I always had supposed I was depressed, and in fact the only thing I haven't tried was consciously feeding my depression.

 

and

 

I always had supposed I was depressed, and in fact the only thing I haven't tried was consciously feeding my depression.

 

Then you said--

 

...and I decided then to sink deeper into my depression by affirming to myself all the bad things that were true in my life.

 

but I always thought there was something underlying that was keeping me from getting to where I wanted to go.

 

You are IT man, you are the boss of you. I am the boss of me. How many times have you thought the above statement? More than 13, I suspect.

 

 

Hopefully, someone can see the basic underlying problems between the lines of what my attitude is normally like, and recommend some program or some advice to fix that, or the direct problems themselves.

 

SOMEONE.... other than yourself?

 

Until then, I will be indulging my depression, because:

 

And that is your choice, which you freely excercise. And if you do it often enough, for enough times, it becomes...can you guess what I'm about to say, again?...it becomes a habit, a behavior, ands series of memories that reinforce the habit/behavior.

 

-The only feelings I can really make last are the ones that are bad.

 

an absolute statement, which is based on subjective experience. Fact tend to be absolute, emotions do not.

 

-Any good feelings either that I make or get from myself or other situations/people are always short lived (while what caused it is still going on, sometimes not even that long), and never last

 

Lots of absolute statements in bold, and a hint of accepting personal responsibility in italics..

 

This is why I think that the only "real" part to myself is the depressed, sad part of me.

 

An absolute statement again, and a false one at that!

 

I think this side of myself is always persistent and successful in showing itself, regardless of how much I try and cover it up by changing my attitudes, beliefs, or actions.

 

It's your choice to think these things. If you think them long enough, you will believe them. It doesn't take long.

 

When I'm not trying to change my state, I live in a state of mediocrity.

 

Hmmm... mediocrity according to who? You? or according to your perception and/or statements of what mediocrity is to some other people?

 

-I cannot motivate myself to accomplish any of my goals or do anything I want that requires any sort of uncomfortable situation to be faced (i.e. meeting a girl, or making a friend).

 

Yes, you can, and in fact, you are the only person who can do so with any great affect. What seems to bother you is very common. Accept and acknowledge the discomfort, dont dwell on it, allow it to exist and move through it. It gets easier as you go, but if you genuinely dont want to head in a direction, but convince yourself that you do, you aren't helping yourself at all.

 

-All my conversations are peppered with awkward pauses.

 

Sounds like you have a hard time connecting with people and picking up on their non verbal communication (and thus, their feelings ) Maybe its because instead of listening to your own feelings and subconscious ques, you plaster your own feelings with what you think you should be feeling, or doing, etc..

 

-I cannot remember what people have told me in conversation.

 

Of course you cant!!! The chatter in your mind must be deafening dude!

 

I think because of all these things, I don't deserve anything good to happen to me.

 

I am sure that you will cause your 'think'ing to materialize and come true. And you'll probably still ACT supprised and confused with yourself when it REPEATEDLY (one might say habitually?) happens.

 

Unless you have a chemical imbalance and require psych meds to put your shoes on and talk to others, etcc... Then I suggest you either SHIT, or GET OFF THE POT, literally. I've spent nearly a decade of my life 'sitting on the pot', trying to take the easy way out, staying in my comfort zone, trying to live my life by other peoples expectations (or what I 'think'-or convince myself- are other peoples expectations), and let me tell you brother, IT SUCKS. And life is short, you only get one chance, so girdle up your fucking loins and do it RIGHT!! RIGHT for YOU!

 

with love,

 

Nate.

 

PS--I mean to help with all this. If it offends you, too bad dude--you asked for advice/help, and I've given you the best advice I can.

Edited September 12, 2009 by everseeking

[DalTheJigsaw123]

Bumpin'

[Old Man Contradiction]

The reason being that I haven't been satisfied with my life for a long time now. I have tried everything from Outer to Inner Game to NLP/Hypnosis to Spirituality to Affirmations and everything in between and in that general field of self-help.

 

But one thing has remained constant in my life: lack of results.

 

Every single thing you said here, I have also similarly been through . I reached a low of depression, paranoia, psychosis, and schizophrenia due to an unhealthy relationship with drugs and people. I went through pua, nlp/hypnosis, magick, qigong, affirmations, the same deal man: no results.

 

I was going through all of these different practices for a year or two, during which my mental conditions were not improving.

 

Eventually it was recommended for me to find a teacher, so I found an internal martial arts teacher because I could get my brother to go with me. The combination of physical and mental exercise calmed my mind like none other, and lifted my heart a little bit. This was a great foundation to experience after only a month or two of finding my teacher. Soon enough I found "The Power Of Now" by Eckhart Tolle, this totally changed the way that I viewed my problems, and it made my issues something very tangible to me, so I could deal with it whenever it arose, and as if it were just a substance or an object. The difference is that Tolle's teaching points you to a deeper and truthful place within yourself. This way you take a step back from the entire mind, as opposed to NLP which just attempts to change the mind's structure (which you will learn through Tolle's teaching, is dysfunctional in and of itself). Now I'm doing a ton better, it's a path I'm on and it's not completely instantaneous, but it's definitely working. Eckhart Tolle's teachings opened me up to other similar teachers like Adyashanti, Nisargadatta, and Ramana Maharshi. This is the best advice I can give someone that has had to put up with the same problems that I did.

Edited September 12, 2009 by Old Man Contradiction

[Marblehead]

Hi Awake,

 

Just wanted to let you know that I read your post and that I believe you have already recieved some really excellent suggestions.

 

Not much more I can add except to remind you that you have free will. You can create your own reality, so to speak.

 

Replace those negative thoughts with positive thoughts. Do those things that cause you happiness (pleasure and joy).

 

Happy Trails!

[therion]

.........

Edited December 25, 2009 by therion

[TTT]

Stop masturbating/seksing, increases dopamine and testosteron, which are the batteries of your body!

[Gerard]

Your shen is wandering off its natural residence, therefore you are unsettled and confused in life.

 

See a good TCM doctor to seek for any imbalances in your internal organs which have raised your emotions and scattered shen.

 

Good luck.

[Iyoiyo]

Awake-- my advice to you is this:

 

You are yourself, friend. You cannot allow anyone, including yourself (any aspect, subconscious, conscious, what have you) to convince you that you're insufficient-- that the way you are isn't good enough-- that you should be more like somebody else. This is not asking you to remain who you currently are forever. Rather, once you understand you will naturally, gradually begin to transform.

 

Try to understand the source of your unhappiness. You worry that you don't get along well with girls. Ask yourself why it matters. What are you seeking in relationships? When you understand what you are seeking it may appear that the problem would not in truth be solved with relationships. You only imagine that it will be solved. There may be deep shields in your personality, which at one time, in a short term, helped you gain self esteem-- but which are harmful to you now, since they give a false foundation for thought.

 

It's brash, but I'll put my insight down anyway: You're depressed because you want to be somebody else. The disparity between you and this imaginary person obsesses your mind, and you've become convinced that, should you become this person, you will be happy. Misled thinking.

 

On a simple level, try (like some others have said) getting a bit of exercise every day, or perhaps just stretching every day. Try getting enough sleep, go to bed before twelve at least. Eat simple wholesome foods if you can afford it.

 

I was deeply depressed for years. I hid it from everyone: my family, friends, and probably even myself. I want to help you, but I'm almost sure the subtle things I want to convey have not come across in this post. If you wish, feel free to send me a PM to discuss things further. Don't feel that you'd be imposing, or that I don't actually want you to-- just send one if you want.

[goldisheavy]

Awake,

 

You will get better, but it takes time. By time I mean it might take 12 years. It might take 2 months, but it might also take 30 years. Don't give up.

 

All the things you've studied have some degree of usefulness. The "problem" is that none of the things you've studied are the salvation, as you have found out. If you want something, a single thing, or a single teaching, or a single doctrine, or a single master, to become your salvation, then you place too high a burden on that thing. Even fool's words can be useful and even master's words can be harmful. Therefore you need to pay attention and cultivate forbearance.

 

Slow down.

 

Slow down.

 

I notice every time I read your posts you are flittering here and there erratically. So, slow down. Slow down your mind. Breathe. Pace yourself. This is not a sprint you are in. It's a long distance run, it's an ultra-marathon.

 

Instead of looking for a magic cure, why not become patient and practice the following:

 

Eat healthy.

Sleep healthy.

Open windows to your room and let the sun in.

Go for a carefree walk at least twice a week.

Exercise healthy (don't overdo it).

Meditate at least 10 minutes a day or more as you determine to be useful/comfortable.

Contemplate at least 10 minutes a day.

Participate in life.

 

How's that? It's basic advice. See how there is nothing you haven't heard already there? That's right, because there is no trick. No magic. No shortcut. Just follow a good life and you will have good results. And you need to be steady and slow. Slow and steady. Constant. Relentless. Unyielding. Cultivate diamond resolve. Recall your highest aspirations and feel joy at the fact that you have these beautiful aspirations, even if they are not yet fulfilled, because even having a high aspiration is already a miracle, and because even merely having a high aspiration makes you already half-way to its fulfillment.

 

And slow down please. Your mind seems too fast to me. Because it's too fast, it is blind. You miss a lot. You can't see what's right under your own nose because you're too wound up.

 

That's my perception, nothing more, nothing less. Good fortune to you and may all your best dreams come true.

Edited September 13, 2009 by goldisheavy

[Creation]

Awake,

 

You will get better, but it takes time. By time I mean it might take 12 years. It might take 2 months, but it might also take 30 years. Don't give up.

 

All the things you've studied have some degree of usefulness. The "problem" is that none of the things you've studied are the salvation, as you have found out. If you want something, a single thing, or a single teaching, or a single doctrine, or a single master, to become your salvation, then you place too high a burden on that thing. Even fool's words can be useful and even master's words can be harmful. Therefore you need to pay attention and cultivate forbearance.

 

Slow down.

 

Slow down.

 

I notice every time I read your posts you are flittering here and there erratically. So, slow down. Slow down your mind. Breathe. Pace yourself. This is not a sprint you are in. It's a long distance run, it's an ultra-marathon.

 

Instead of looking for a magic cure, why not become patient and practice the following:

 

Eat healthy.

Sleep healthy.

Open windows to your room and let the sun in.

Go for a carefree walk at least twice a week.

Exercise healthy (don't overdo it).

Meditate at least 10 minutes a day or more as you determine to be useful/comfortable.

Contemplate at least 10 minutes a day.

Participate in life.

 

How's that? It's basic advice. See how there is nothing you haven't heard already there? That's right, because there is no trick. No magic. No shortcut. Just follow a good life and you will have good results. And you need to be steady and slow. Slow and steady. Constant. Relentless. Unyielding. Cultivate diamond resolve. Recall your highest aspirations and feel joy at the fact that you have these beautiful aspirations, even if they are not yet fulfilled, because even having a high aspiration is already a miracle, and because even merely having a high aspiration makes you already half-way to its fulfillment.

 

And slow down please. Your mind seems too fast to me. Because it's too fast, it is blind. You miss a lot. You can't see what's right under your own nose because you're too wound up.

 

That's my perception, nothing more, nothing less. Good fortune to you and may all your best dreams come true.

YES!!! A cheer from the peanut gallery for this.

[baloneyx]

Don't give up awake

What country you from if you don't mind me asking?

[Encephalon]

Your condition sounds vastly more familiar to me than the phantom legions of happy shiny people having fun. If I may...

 

You may have fallen prey to a phenomenon that originally baffled the Dalai Lama when the subject first came up in a conference he was participating in. The subject was self-loathing, low self-esteem, self-contempt, undeservingness, personal unworthiness.

 

Welcome to the Club!! This is epidemic in western culture. The Dalai Lama had to break for ten minutes with his translators before he was able to tease out the implications of what the subject truly revealed.

 

I suppose you have had personal luck with soliciting supportive advice in this forum. I have too. Remember, though, that it is no substitute for professional help, but if you're not too far gone, still have a sense of curiosity about the world and possess the ability to learn independently, you should take the next two to four weeks and read Healing the Shame that Binds You, by John Bradshaw. This is THE book for people who eventually stumble upon the grand realization, after several previous failed investigations, that a deeply embodied sense of shame has skewed their self-perception toward the negative. There are so many reasons how this happens, an endless possibility of combinations of louzy conditioning and heritable traits.

 

If you don't heal the shame, if you don't do the hard and honest work of excavating why you hate yourself so much and deserve so little, then you fall prey to a polarized personality. One appears pompous, condescending, pedantic, patronizing, and conceited. The other identity is utterly shame-based, self-destructive, self-pitying, unworthy, worse than everyone else by comparison. There are no level playing fields, no mature relations; you either present yourself as superior to everyone, or inferior. Both are false selves. If successfully treated, you will heal your sense of natural goodness, worthiness, and deservingness from the inside out and external reality will begin to improve as it becomes more consistent with your healthier inner environment. If this goes unaddressed for too long, you will be unwittingly compelled to sabotage your external reality until it reflects your inner dysfunction. Opportunities will be squandered, lucky breaks will be wasted, bridges will be burned, grace itself may seem to disappear and this pattern of ritualized self-sabotage will continue it breaks out of your unconscious, into your waking reality, where you finally go... "Oh. I get it."

 

Besides taking stock of your own self worth, start your healing with the body. If you're in TTB to begin with, you must have some appreciation for body/mind disciplines. Don't try too hard to change your mind using your mind; start with the body. I'm sure there are hundreds of suggestions, but a couple yoga dvds and some serious chi kung classes (or my favorite - www.neikungla.com ) could do wonders if you're too sedentary.

 

Getting a personal teacher sounds like the best advice of all. In fact, that's probably where I'm headed very soon myself. The diet recommendations listed above are also very sound. Do all of this and you'll make it.

 

Good luck!!

Edited September 14, 2009 by Blasto

[xtwicebornx]

Wow that's all amazing advice. I just want to toss in my own 2 cents. I found The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle to be very helpful.

[witch]

Goddamned PUA crap. It sometimes works, but at what cost? Who wants a woman who's only interested in a false you?

 

I think even this board isn't a good approach for you. You need very basic practical advice. I'm a big fan of fish oil for helping with depression and improving self confidence--those things have to do with neurotransmitter imbalance, and better to fix the underlying malnutrition than use prescription antidepressants.

 

But in addition--do things with women. And not necessarily pretty women. In fact, at the beginning, better that they are old and ugly. No stress. Sign up for something useful that requires that you interact with women, some kind of volunteer work or class. The girlier, the better. A Pilates class, or scrapbooking or something. Anything! And when you are there, talk. Talk to old ladies, talk to fat ladies, talk to all ladies, be conversational, be useful. You have to master the art of conversation, and it is an art, before you can effectively chat up the ladies you really want to get to know.

[markern]

Goddamned PUA crap. It sometimes works, but at what cost? Who wants a woman who's only interested in a false you?

 

 

I agree about a lot of it. Mystery method for example tend make you end up like this but a lot of it, charismaarts.com for example, I would say actualy just brings out more of who you actualy are in confident outgoing and flirty way.

[CarsonZi]

Hi awake....

 

I think because of all these things, I don't deserve anything good to happen to me.

 

You "think" too much ..... You don't have to believe your thoughts. In fact, once you STOP believing your thoughts you will find that you are making much more progress then you could ever imagine.

 

My advice to you is simple: Connect daily to "inner silence". Do this EVERY DAY! (Twice daily if you can) Use a style of meditation that works for you (not energetically so much as Silence-wise, although one that does both is double good!)......Awareness Watching Awareness, Trataka, Deep Meditation (mantra), Stillness meditation, Mindfulness, Zuowan, something that allows you to find Silence for a few minutes every day. And then STICK WITH IT even without definite results for a while. Give it at least 6 months of one style of meditation that connects you to Silence before you decide whether or not you are having some "success".

 

Also, it is important to set your intentions so that you know what "success" is to you. Know exactly what you are trying to accomplish when you start your practices....meaning if you are looking for relaxation, or if you are looking to end suffering, or whatever.....set your intention. And then PRACTICE! And be patient! Rome wasn't built in a day and you won't become "enlightened" in one either!

 

You deserve nothing but to know yourself as Source....you are not only Divine but you are HOLY, SACRED, PERFECT! You deserve nothing but PURE BLISS. Be easy with it.

 

Love,

Carson

[Marblehead]

Hi awake....

You "think" too much ..... Love,

Carson

 

Indeed. Sometimes we do think too much and oftentimes because of that we miss the lesson that is right in front of us.

 

Happy Trails!

[CarsonZi]

Indeed. Sometimes we do think too much and oftentimes because of that we miss the lesson that is right in front of us.

 

Often we miss more then just "lessons" due to overthinking....Sometimes we miss out on Life itself! Let go of believing your thoughts and just exist as pure consciousness! Easier said then done though, so keep up your meditation practice or this will be nothing more then a dream within a dream.

 

Love,

Carson

[Encephalon]

Yep, the burden of thinking too much can be a big one. That's an important point I left out in my garbled treatise on self-loathing and its cure. Low self-esteem is bad enough when you're intellectually slow. It's positively horrific when you're intelligent, because not only do you lament your miserable life, but you have the additional anguish of feeling as if you are squandering your gifts and talents instead of turning them into great achievements. Guilt gets added to the toxic stew.

 

Yes, thinking too much is frought with many dangers. That's one reason the ancient Taoists had a specific view about the proper progression of intellectual development;

 

"Learning must proceed from simplicity to complexity, and then back from complexity to simplicity."

 

See? Simple, right?

Edited September 14, 2009 by Blasto

[Marblehead]

"Learning must proceed from simplicity to complexity, and then back from complexity to simplicity."

 

See? Simple, right?

 

Yes. It is really quite simple. Gettig started with that second half is the really hard part though. But I will suggest that it is there that real living actually begins.

 

Happy Trails!

[CarsonZi]

Yes. It is really quite simple. Gettig started with that second half is the really hard part though. But I will suggest that it is there that real living actually begins.

 

I will confirm that this was when "real living" started for me. I have a very high (recorded) IQ, and have in the past been VERY identified with my "intelligence". But it wasn't until I realized that I didn't really KNOW anything that I thought I knew, that the REAL Knowledge I did have dropped from my head to my heart. I no longer know as much as I used to, but in other ways I Know much more.

 

Only once all your ideas and beliefs are tossed aside can you truly Know. Knowing comes from within, not without, and true Knowing requires no proof.

 

Love,

Carson

Edited September 14, 2009 by CarsonZi