The things that children can see

[everseeking]

Hello all, I would like to share some thoughts with you all. I assure you all that I am totally honest and truthful in these stories. But first, some lyrics from a song I like, in order to set the mood.

 

"A man lies in his bed in a room with no door.

He waits, hoping for a presence, something-anything-to enter.

After spending half his life here he still felt as blank

as the ceiling at which he stared.

He is alive, but feels absolutely nothing-

so is he?

 

When he was six, the moon overhead followed him.

 

By nine, he had deciphered the illusion. Trading magic for fact-no trade backs.

'So this is what its like to be an adult'.

If he only knew now, what he had known then.

 

Okay, now then... I have told no more then three people this, ever, in my whole life. I don't even think I've told my wife about this, but I want to share it here. I swear on everything I love its the truth, Im not making this story up.

 

I remember once, living in Locust street, I was maybe five or six. I couldn't have been very old because I was in kindergarten. I had a teacher, who seemed very nice to me, a very old woman then to such a young child, She was probably in her 60's or 70's. She once locked a boy in the closet to punish him. I remember him screaming, terrified. There was a woman who lived down the street a few houses, my mother used to take me to her house once in a while. She had so many colorful antique bottles in her house, and long green shag carpet.

My friend Stevie-a girl- lived across the street. I remember one year, my mom brought me to see her on halloween. I can't remember who I was dressed as, but She was dressed as Madonna-the musician. Key feature of her costume being a mole. She moved away soon after, and Eli and his mother moved in. Eli was a couple years older than me (I must have been no older then five, now that I think about it.) Eli used such dirty words; we would be playing with our (my) Transformers and GI Joe's and such-one of my favorite things to do--and Eli would have one of the toys on top of the other, with its legs spread, screaming-'You fucking bitch! You're gonna do what I fuckin say! Give me head you filthy whore!"... I didn't understand then why he played that way, or why he cussed so much. He was always doing things that he shouldn't-smoking, starting fires, and so on. Eli dated a girl (at that age when having a girlfriend meant that you might at most kiss her on the cheek and hold hands. It was more innocent at that time. Eli briefly went steady with this girl, and then it ended when she broke up with him. She was best friends with my friend Amber, who also lived across the street. Her name was Kelly. I remember, in all honesty, the first time I saw her, it was love at first sight-for me. Some people-most people maybe-don't have a clue about love at first site, or they think its a myth. I mean to tell you, that even though I was maybe six or seven, I was in love with this girl, at first site of her. It was so exhilarating-it would be worth dying right now to live one day in that feeling.

 

How it mast have hurt Eli's feelings when I started 'going out' with Kelly. My mother, no doubt hearing me talk about Kelly all the time, arranged for me to go on my first date-with Kelly--It was 1989, so I was 7. I know this, because we saw 'National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation'.

 

Predictably, Eli has been in and out of prison and other trouble for some time now. I wish he could be released from the prison of his memories.

 

I have a vivid memory of how when I was that age, I played in the snow in jeans and a sweat shirt. Actually sitting down in the snow and making shapes in it. My hands, legs feet, crotch all soaked from sitting in the snow. I wasn't even shivering. I just played in the snow, having fun, until eventually I got bored and went inside. I think I'd nearly die of I did that now.

 

Oddly, I've had the feeling for a very long time that I would die at or before age 30. I'm 27 now, and if I keep progressing with my consciousness the way I have been recently, I think that I just might. As in, my ego. It wasn't until about 3-4 years ago that I realized that I will be 30 in the year 2012. How comical, given the beliefs around that date. I've told my mother about my 'death' for many years, though not recently.

 

I remember watching a documentary on TV about men in Tibet who sing with this sort of double voice; it sounds as if two different people are chanting about 1 octave apart when they do it. After watching the show, I practiced a few minutes and I was able to do it too. I'm told this was a pretty special ability, vocally. Especially for a little kid.

 

Anyway, on to the point of this post: I was lying in bed about this age, living in the same house, and I had, for lack of a better phrase, an experience. Lying on my bed, which was covered in toys, I became paralyzed. A red skinned devil appeared at the foot of my bed, looking much like 'Darkness' from the movie, 'The Labyrinth'. I was paralyzed, and more afraid than I have ever been. This devil produced a cane pole, or reed pole, about 3-4 feet long. Being paralyzed, I couldn't stop him when he connected one end to his penis, and the other end to my penis. It felt so bad, yet so good; I had an orgasm. soon after, this Devil, smiling an evil, psychotic smile, disappeared. Vanished, really. I felt a female voice warm me against sexual depravity, as if I would miss out on spiritual advancement if I indulged in sex: it would distract me from the path. An instance later, I was able to move again, and this devil was gone, although EVERYTHING in the room was exactly as it had been in the 'dream', if that's what it was.

 

Another time, I had gone to Kelly's house to see if she could come play. I had become sort of friends with her and her sisters. While playing with her sisters in their back yard, I got this strange feeling, and everything in my vision-especially around my head-had this golden glow to it. I had a sort of devious, or maybe mischievous smile on my face and was bathed in this golden glow. I don't think it was perceptible to anyone but me.

 

I don't know what the hell this might mean, the Devil experience, or anything else, but I just had to post it here, in hopes that someone will have information in the meaning of these experiences. I don't have much knowledge about the Occult, or symbolic meaning, but I have no doubt that these experiences mean something very significant. I just don't know what.

 

Take care, and thanks for reading!

 

Nate

Edited September 14, 2009 by everseeking

[everseeking]

By the way--do you think its possible, or likely, that those Tibetan men allowed themselves to be video taped so that someone like me could watch them on TV, and receive a personal communication of sorts when the show aired? Maybe they allowed themselves to be taped so that they could look into the camera and send a message to any children watching, or those who are less programmed than adults usually are--the message being just the spreading of an awareness of spirit? I ask because not long ago I had a very vivid dream in which a Tibetan man performed superhuman 'light body skills'.

 

N-

[goldisheavy]

Things mean what you want them to mean. We're not just characters in a story. We're also the storytellers.

Edited September 14, 2009 by goldisheavy

[hagar]

..

h

Edited October 4, 2009 by hagar