三江源 Posted October 18, 2009 (edited) . Edited September 30, 2015 by 三江源 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
witch Posted October 18, 2009 Witch, I've been boy crazy too.. and I wonder now that it was my abundance of va va voom that was manifesting in that way, as nature intended, and that my abundance has now been reclaimed or refined or somesuch,and that the va va voom is actually the jewel, whereas I was thinking it was the males that were the sparkly shiny things.. iow, your boy- craziness is your sheer vitality.. and not to do with how wonderful boys are. The ability to find boys wonderful is a gift, though, I think. It is certainly colourful and makes life vivid and fun.. I think I was scared to not be boy crazy, though, in case it made me grey dusty and dry. It hasnt. I think I can respond in the same way as I ever did, and certainly they respond in the same way to me as they ever did, but I am just not driven any more. So it is a release, a freedom. You know, when you let go of something, you still have what you had before, it's just that you let go of it.. I keep learning that over and over again.. maybe one day I will have truly integrated it.. Well, I have let go. Not of the love, which is considerable, nor the desire, which is even more so, but the desire to consummate the desire. A couple weeks ago I let go, by letting in Hathor, who in my tradition embodies the va va voom as you put it. Hathor being an entity, a goddess who is complete as a thing in herself, does not particularly need to have a lover. She also lives in the 12th house with other entities, so when I have entity sex now I go there and the sex is also complete in itself, and there is not the missing skin on skin. I go there fully now and it is good. It feels a bit like I've died and it's hard to adjust to, and I will confess that I am grateful I had children before it happened. I know quite well that I will be celibate and alone for the rest of my life now that I've done this, and I can face that clear-eyed. It's quite ridiculous that someone with my abilities is facing this future, but that's the way of the world, I think. Some things that are very strong are reserved for the gods. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
三江源 Posted October 18, 2009 (edited) . Edited September 30, 2015 by 三江源 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mal Posted October 20, 2009 One of the biggest mistakes people make dealing with spirits is that they think they are strong enough to control them and the situation. If you have a powerful energy, you will attract a powerful entity. It is important to cultivate your mind so it won't be attracted to the glitter of possibilities and promisess. It will be lots of tests like this in one form and another. Don't get sidetracked off the path, because you may never find it back in the darkness. Thanks Max, good to keep in mind Come to think of it, I have never learned from a teacher without having been invited. Now the invitation itself may have come about because I practiced and my practice got noticed at other levels, who knows. However, I never "appeared" to a master without the master extending an invitation first, so I never had any (knocking on wood) effects from any practice that I would want to take back. (Spitting thrice across the left shoulder.) and on reflection yes there always seems to have been an invitation. I know what you mean about facing celibacy, when you are sooo orgasmic and sensual and a transformative person to be in sexual relationship with. WEIRD or what. TTB's a target rich environment vs reality or why are all the good targets already taken Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
