Rigpa Glimpse

[Vajrahridaya]

Edited September 18, 2009 by Vajrahridaya

[hagar]

[Vajrahridaya]

On the same note, what comes up in my practice these days is that a whole new being emerges just in the blindspot where i cannot see it. And it is not the "I".

 

But I struggle with the whole idea of egolessness.

The "I" that is non-existant still exists.

If I go around all day pretending to not listen,

I set myself up for suffering.

 

Only when I listen, and give it a voice,

does it slowly recede into the background

 

It seems like it conspires to create itself through some stealthy accumulation of memories, beliefs, emotions,

yet eventhough I am completely resolved and disindentified with it, it is still there.

 

So does practice actually dissolve the ego, or the shadow?

 

I think it will never go away if you detach. I feel a more sincere path would be to completely identify, to a point of complete inihalation.

 

Thoughts?

 

h

 

Everyone has their methods.

 

What I find helps is just letting it be and seeing right through it to emptiness with neither acceptance, nor rejection. Seeing that it has no inherent property, so that it's presence is known, but not allowed presidency. Seeing all interconnectivity annihilates it's mischief which arises merely through identifying with a sense of separation from everyone and everything and thus feeling a subtle and false sense of inherent independence. It's not that one does not have a personality, it's just that one see's right through it and is thus open and flexible. So, one has personality, but not ego.

Edited September 18, 2009 by Vajrahridaya

[hagar]

Everyone has their methods.

 

What I find helps is just letting it be and seeing right through it to emptiness with neither acceptance, nor rejection. Seeing that it has no inherent property, so that it's presence is known, but not allowed presidency. Seeing all interconnectivity annihilates it's mischief which arises merely through identifying with a sense of separation from everyone and everything and thus feeling a subtle and false sense of inherent independence. It's not that one does not have a personality, it's just that one see's right through it and is thus open and flexible. So, one has personality, but not ego.

 

Acceptance nor rejection. How?

 

I see what your getting at, yet doesn't your personality consist of the same material as the ego?

Or are you pointing to the fact that everybody has their own unique manner or nature?

Something in the line of Meister Eckhart who stated each bread is baked in the same oven, yet is made of different flour.

 

h

[Vajrahridaya]

Acceptance nor rejection. How?

 

I see what your getting at, yet doesn't your personality consist of the same material as the ego?

Or are you pointing to the fact that everybody has their own unique manner or nature?

Something in the line of Meister Eckhart who stated each bread is baked in the same oven, yet is made of different flour.

 

h

 

Or we are all made of the same flour but baked in different ovens at different altitudes with different barometric pressures?

 

I understand that without direct insight into emptiness it would be hard to understand how to neither accept nor reject, neither be clingy and identifyingly stern or intensely repulsed or completely dismissing.

 

When one is not so attached, one is more apt to flow and the more positive aspects of a personality manifest. How the East defines ego is different from the West. Ego in the East is merely defined by identification with seeming limitations and not seeing the whole in every moment. Where we identify with having been born in this life to this set of parents and these social norms, etc. These things can manifest a personality, but there doesn't have to be a clinging egoism about it. One can still be open and free, fresh and smooth like a new born babies bottom. Actually I think they are a bit wrinkled at first?

[Lucky7Strikes]

Edited September 19, 2009 by Lucky7Strikes

[Vajrahridaya]

It only seems like that because your whole identity is shifted. It's like waking up from a dream and realizing that the dream character was an illusion. To say it "never" was wouldn't be fully correct.

 

People go through identity shifts all the time and that in turn distorts memory.

 

Well, according to Buddhism, it never had any true existence to begin with, only illusory premise. It's kind of a pseudonym that we generally keep until we die. Unless we really inquire into the nature of being of course.