Ego Inflation - aka Secret Narcissism

[goldisheavy]

I don't know. I need training.

 

How do you know this if you don't know? If you say you know that you need training, you don't have a state of unknowing. So either the first or the second sentence is untrue, or both are untrue.

 

Santi suggested I ask Tao but I got my days mixed up and so missed the latest class. The thought has crossed my mind on many occasions that it's ALL just play-acting of my mind. I've had a LOT of odd things happen - the vast majority of which I will never post about because A) it gets back to this thread's theme (i.e. posting about it can lead to ever increasing Ego Inflation) and B ) because people will likely begin to think I'm an appropriate candidate for Psychiatric treatment and sedation.

 

Worrying about inflating your ego is precisely egomia! You think you are so important that if you inflate your ego even a little, the whole world will collapse. That's exactly what self-importance, egomania is. It's very very very tricky. Often thoughts of humility as just a cover for immense egomania. You're one of the most egotistical people I know on this forum. It starts with your picture and goes on to the bold fonts and different color that you use to attract attention to yourself. It's obvious from a mile away that you seek approval and adoration.

 

I'm hoping Tao will see my latest post and still be able to help. This coming Saturday is our last class. So I hope he sees my appeal for help in time. But if not..I may have lost my chance to learn how to find out. I don't know how to tell if my Spirit Guides are in fact real, separate mindstreams or just my Ego gone haywire.

 

It's not ego that goes haywire but mind. There is a difference. To learn what is and is not haywire you need to become self-reliant. If you always cling to the coat-tails of others, you'll always be out of control, since in that case you will not take full responsibility for your well-being and mental states.

 

Just to clear it up Ego Inflation *IS* Narcissism and with all that that implies - including feelings of grandiosity and feeling very superior to all the "little people" one meets in life and on TaoBums. I fear this very, very greatly and discovering it is unavoidable on the way to Enlightenment was not something I enjoyed finding out about.

 

Feelings are insubstantial. If you give your feelings substance, you're in trouble no matter what kind of feelings you have. But if you are wise enough to understand what it means to say that feelings are insubstantial, you'll be OK no matter what feelings you have temporarily. And there is no such thing as a permanent feeling.

 

He (or She) who seems the most egotistical - well at least that person's Ego Inflation is available for all to see.

 

Yes, so what? I still like you even though you're a deluded egomaniac. It's your self-importance that makes you shy and constipated.

[JustARandomPanda]

Worrying about inflating your ego is precisely egomia! You think you are so important that if you inflate your ego even a little, the whole world will collapse.

 

I disagree with the statement it means I think the world will collapse.

But I do agree I'm an egomaniac.

 

Switching to radio silence. I will not be participating on the main boards while I work to address things.

 

Edited October 5, 2009 by SereneBlue

[goldisheavy]

You're right.

 

Switching to radio silence.

 

Based on this peculiar reply somehow I am not convinced you understand me. So your "you're right" sounds a little hollow to me.

 

I disagree with the statement it means I think the world will collapse.

 

Give it some thought before you disagree. Why are you afraid of being an egomaniac? What is wrong when other people are egomaniacs? If you think about it, you may start to understand things better. You may want to answer these two questions on this forum to reveal your thinking on this topic.

Edited October 5, 2009 by goldisheavy

[Eternal_Student]

The ego is important.

 

 

 

Energetically, before a sun can go nuclear, there has to be enough central mass to induce gravitational cohesion.

[JustARandomPanda]

There is nothing wrong with taking action to try to achieve or (hopefully) re-achieve balance when the errors of one's ways have been pointed out to you. For anyone who cares to discuss things with me - well - they'll know where to find me.

 

 

 

Best wishes to everyone

[goldisheavy]

There is nothing wrong with taking action to try to achieve or (hopefully) re-achieve balance when the errors of one's ways have been pointed out to you. For anyone who cares to discuss things with me - well - they'll know where to find me.

Best wishes to everyone

 

I think it's wrong to jump to conclusion that you understand what the error is. Yes, I pointed something out to you, but I believe you don't quite understand what I was saying. So whatever you think your error is based on something I was saying, is likely to be wrong.

 

You need a healthy ego to live. Instead of trying to inflate it or deflate it or to obsess about the size of your ego, it's much better to understand the real concerns behind the scenes that drive this obsession with one's ego manipulation. Keeping your ego down to size is as much ego manipulation and ego obsession as attempting to inflate one's ego.

 

This doesn't mean you shouldn't manipulate your ego. I am not even saying that obsession is always wrong. Instead I am saying it's important to understand nuances and various angles, various ways of looking at the same thing.

 

What's wrong with ego? Who complains about big egos? Is ego scary? Is ego dangerous? (To whom, under what conditions, etc.?)

 

I think if you follow up these questions, you'll find something surprising.

 

EDIT: Moreover, I don't think it's wrong to want attention or to want to be loved and appreciated. The only wrong thing about it is lying to oneself about it... kind of like "I want attention, but wanting attention is evil, so I need to become less evil and more good, more humble, so that people will appreciate me more and pay more attention to me." This is a confused, self-contradictory and dishonest way of thinking. I'm not saying this is the only possible way to go wrong. There are other concerns that are just as confused as this one if you examine them closely.

Edited October 5, 2009 by goldisheavy

[Vajrahridaya]

Because I also realize it? So I know what I am talking about, unlike you.

 

No... you don't.

 

You need to redouble your contemplation. I detect mental sloth in you.

 

I detect limited experience and limited exposure to true enlightenment in you.

 

Your defining ego as personality. I am defining ego as clinging to appearances.

[goldisheavy]

No... you don't.

 

Yes, I do.

 

I detect limited experience and limited exposure to true enlightenment in you.

 

No, you're just detecting your own limitations.

 

Your defining ego as personality. I am defining ego as clinging to appearances.

 

I don't think I've clearly defined ego at all. Furthermore, is there a difference between clinging and not-clinging?

[Vajrahridaya]

I don't think I've clearly defined ego at all. Furthermore, is there a difference between clinging and not-clinging?

 

The difference between experiencing Samsara as Nirvana or not.

 

Go get some real mind to mind transmission from a real lineage Master GIH.

 

Seriously. You go around calling everyone stupid and lamas fake and enlightened masters... nice guys, but wrong.

 

You don't display brilliant realization. Your just full of yourself.

[goldisheavy]

The difference between experiencing Samsara as Nirvana or not.

 

Go get some real mind to mind transmission from a real lineage Master GIH.

 

Seriously. You go around calling everyone stupid and lamas fake and enlightened masters... nice guys, but wrong.

 

You don't display brilliant realization. Your just full of yourself.

 

Why don't you send me a check for 100 thousand dollars? How does that strike you as an idea? If you don't have the money right away, then I can accept the money in the form of installments. I'm patient. Am I nice guy or what?

 

That's kind of what you're offering me. This is the same thing all advertisements prey on, "Without this car, you are nothing. Wanna be a real man? Wanna get a hot woman???!! YOU NEED OUR CAR! BUY OUR CAR!!! But don't wait, the stocks are running low! CALL NOW!!!"

 

The enlightenment infomercial is like this too.

 

But that's not the end. Imagine this. So you buy this car and feel stupid. Because chicks still don't want you and your penis is still as small as ever. So what do you do? Well, you need to appear justified in your actions! You don't want to look stupid. So how do you do that? That's easy! Tell all your friends to buy one too! That way you are not alone and your decision to buy one is vindicated. Misery loves company.

[Marblehead]

The ego is important.

Energetically, before a sun can go nuclear, there has to be enough central mass to induce gravitational cohesion.

 

 

I love the way you come off with these really neat statements!

 

Thanks for sharing!

 

Happy Trails!

[Eternal_Student]

[CarsonZi]

Hi SereneBlue and All...

 

Just to clear it up Ego Inflation *IS* Narcissism and with all that that implies - including feelings of grandiosity and feeling very superior to all the "little people" one meets in life and on TaoBums. I fear this very, very greatly and discovering it is unavoidable on the way to Enlightenment was not something I enjoyed finding out about.

 

I know you (SB) said that you weren't going to participate in the main forums anymore, and that's cool, I hope that you will still read this though....

 

You said above that Ego Inflation is Narcissism....and indeed it is....but the opposite is also true....putting yourself down/feeling sorry for yourself (and all that it implies....ie. false humility, self pity, etc etc) is pure Egotism as well. Feeling that everyone is "more advanced" then you, feeling that you are one of the "little people", etc etc, these are all aspects of ego....And to run from Narcisism into Humility is like running in circles. To break free of Egotism (on either side of the equation) there must be a deep connection to Inner Silence. You can't starve the Ego by feeding it.

 

Love,

Carson

[Marblehead]

Hi Carson,

 

I think what you said is true but I don't want to analyze it now.

 

Happy Trails!

[CarsonZi]

I think what you said is true but I don't want to analyze it now.

 

Perfect.....Analysis is an obstacle to True Understanding/Realization. Gotta get away from letting your mind run the show.

 

Take the essence of what is said and release it into Silence....when it returns to you, you will know the Truth for yourself....whatever that is, as Truth is individual.....

 

For me, humility is the new ego

 

Love,

Carson

[Marblehead]

For me, humility is the new ego

 

Love,

Carson

 

I would have a really big problem with that one. Hehehe.

 

Happy Trails!

[markern]

I think talking about attainments can help normalize them for yourself and others and can be a vital part of an exchange of information that helps others get where more expereinced people are quickly. As such sharing experiences can be seen as an act of service and compassion. Especially because there can be a cost to sharing about attainments because many people get suspicious. Read daniel ingrams writing about this

 

http://web.mac.com/danielmingram/iWeb/Dani...ok/Archive.html

 

and ask the same question on dharmaoverground where they all completly disagree.

[Vajrahridaya]

Why don't you send me a check for 100 thousand dollars? How does that strike you as an idea? If you don't have the money right away, then I can accept the money in the form of installments. I'm patient. Am I nice guy or what?

 

That's kind of what you're offering me. This is the same thing all advertisements prey on, "Without this car, you are nothing. Wanna be a real man? Wanna get a hot woman???!! YOU NEED OUR CAR! BUY OUR CAR!!! But don't wait, the stocks are running low! CALL NOW!!!"

 

The enlightenment infomercial is like this too.

 

But that's not the end. Imagine this. So you buy this car and feel stupid. Because chicks still don't want you and your penis is still as small as ever. So what do you do? Well, you need to appear justified in your actions! You don't want to look stupid. So how do you do that? That's easy! Tell all your friends to buy one too! That way you are not alone and your decision to buy one is vindicated. Misery loves company.

 

Your ego is heavy.

[Birch]

Hum.

 

What I am thinking right now is that "ego" is only the content that you decide it's going to be (structurally they are all the same;-))

 

So you could have a very small one (sorry to anyone to whom the double-entendre is offensive;-)) or you could have a really BIG one - encompassing - oh, I dunno - everything in all of its richness and connectedness- but that would mean you'd have to act accordingly And that is a lot of ff-ing work Apologies for the allusion;-)

 

I love discussions when we start off thinking we're all talking about the same thing, but it has so many perspectives and then we get further on and we might ask ourselves if we are all talking about oranges and if they are from Sienna or not;-)

 

I dunno SB - I think only you can tell your level of Secret Narcissism. If you are interested in Narcissus, read his myth. Or at worst, read Joseph Campbell or Thomas Moore. The question I would ask is why do you require confirmation of anything at all?

 

What I'm wondering about here onTTB quite often is that that we seem to be using a sort of normative (albeit on a scale of what might be considered completely nuts to others;-)) approach to experiences that may or may not have a reference point until some time has passed and enough others have identified (I don't say "had" and we can look at that some other time) the experience to consider it "normal". I know that maps exist and yet they were made for (sometimes) very different cultures, different models, different epochs.

[Marblehead]

Kate,

 

I'm going to leave that post alone 'cause I'd only get myself in trouble.

 

Happy Trails!

[Birch]

Marble-friend, please don't leave it alone;-)

I understand you don't want trouble;-)

But who cares?

 

Unless you're going to bring apples into it.

 

[Marblehead]

Marble-friend, please don't leave it alone;-)

I understand you don't want trouble;-)

But who cares?

 

Unless you're going to bring apples into it.

 

 

Hehehe. (I am cracking up - can hardly type.)

 

I'm sure we could find something to do with the apple during the process.

 

I gotta' go dry my eyes - I'm crying. Bye!

[Birch]

Hoo! you must be Kipling's crocodile;-)

 

Anyway, I am presently disappointed because I was anticipating something smart to carry my own (I thought it was quite good) post forward.

 

Damn you Mr Head;-)

 

Ever go apple-bobbing?

[Marblehead]

Hoo! you must be Kipling's crocodile;-)

 

Anyway, I am presently disappointed because I was anticipating something smart to carry my own (I thought it was quite good) post forward.

 

Damn you Mr Head;-)

 

Ever go apple-bobbing?

 

Hehehe.

 

Yes, I have been apple-bobbing a few times but that was a long time ago.

 

That brought back memories of the Limbo. Remember the Limbo dance? How low can you go?

 

We would be at these parties and everyone would get in line to see how low they could go with their eyes closed. We guys would lay on the floor and the girls would limbo over top of us as we looked up their dress. Of course, the girls knew what was going on but they pretended they didn't.

 

It was great to be a teenager when I was a teen. Even went to a few sock hops held at the school auditorium. Rock 'n' Roll!!!!!

 

Happy Trails!

[Deepbluesea]

I disagree with the statement it means I think the world will collapse.

But I do agree I'm an egomaniac.

 

Switching to radio silence. I will not be participating on the main boards while I work to address things.

 

 

I thought that this post began with curiosity on your part. Maybe I was wrong then or am wrong now that things seem to have taken on a serious and urgent tone. I don't know what you have been working on recently but for me, when I began doing A LOT of 3rd eye meditation (in the last few weeks), I got depressed. I began having urgent and compulsive thougts about just dropping everything ... EVERYTHING and walking away (I am very lucky and have a lot to live for so this was certainly odd). I felt spiritually empty, that I had been and was wasting my time with my life, career etc. I am not talking about taking my own life, but just that my current direction was very lacking.

 

I let up on 3rd eye and have been doing other stuff, some 3rd eye but not excessive. I decided that I wasn't going to make any decisions, not hold on to thoughts or emotions. And it all went away. I still have the same questions and contemplations, but they are not urgent. I know that they are important questions, but not questions that need to be answered or addressed this very moment.

 

For me reducing the urgent and serious nature of my questions helped out big time. That's just me though, all the best!