Death

[Seth Ananda]

My beloved Father passed away 2 days ago (Sat 10, 10, 09).

I held his hand and stroked his head while he died, and waited with his Body till it was cold. I helped wash him down and gave him his last shave.

It feels like an important process to really be there, just letting the feelings come, as well as being there for him as he left.

It really felt like a slow process, the way his spirit disconected from his body and being there, holding space for him, and giving Him stable loving energy to him during this while the nurse was busy pulling out all the various tubes and wires was Very Important.

It has really helped with the grieving process as the feelings now are just of personal loss. Acceptance of death came easily after going through this with him and I actually feel Happy for him.

 

I guess the reason I am writing this is for any future Bums who have a Close family member Die, to really find a way to Be there, both for them and for Yourself.

 

Blessed be my Beautiful Father, so selfless in life and an Inspiration to everyone who knew him.

 

Seth.

[lino]

Did you feel to see what part of the body went warm last?

Did you try to get him to die with a smile on his face?

Did you get anybody to do a phowa for him?

 

All of the stuff might effect where his next destination will be.

Edited October 12, 2009 by lino

[Seth Ananda]

Did you feel to see what part of the body went warm last?

Did you try to get him to die with a smile on his face?

Did you get anybody to do a phowa for him?

 

All of the stuff might effect where his next destination will be.

His head was warm last, and top of head last of all. He went out from the crown to a stable peacefull place. The Family was all there praying his favourite prayers to him, so he died thinking of God.

Staying there helping him basicly was a Phowa.

[Birch]

Hi Seth,

 

My condolences on the loss of your father.

Thank you for giving me some advice on what to do when that time comes. Hopefully I'll be able to do something like it.

 

Love,

 

Kate

[fizix]

I've gone throughout my whole life without any close family members/friends having any brushes with death, until recently I discovered that my mother, who I love more than life, is exceptionally prone to having a stroke at any second. The saddening, hurtful sensation I felt in my throat was overwhelming when I heard the news, along with the emotional turmoil, it was unbearable. I know how important it is to be strong and full of love, but in my case I see this coming darkness as inevitable. She has undergone so much bullshit, and she is such a great person. What's worst of all, is the predominant crap she's been dealing with for the past two or so years has been my addiction to drugs (been clean for a while now though) so the hurt is very much there in more way than one. Guilt, shame, sadness, 19 years under my belt and I am not even close to being ready to deal with something like this. Elder, experienced bums input much appreciated.

Seth, my greatest condolences to your father, I'm sure he was a great man, and I pray that I may experience similar circumstances upon parting.

Edited October 12, 2009 by fizix

[voidisyinyang]

Seth -- thanks for sharing this. Chunyi Lin says that there's no reason to be sad about death yet obviously that is a rare approach. As you seem to know the Tibetan monks see if the head or feet get cold last -- and if the head stays warm longest then the person is going to heaven. Also that death is a great opportunity for enlightenment so your presence optimized this for your father. Chunyi Lin focuses on us having a better life in our next rebirth -- he's very serious about this and states he can read our past lives but rarely tells us unless it's pertinent to healing in this life.

 

I read recently that DMT release sky-rockets at death, like at birth as well. On cable they had a show about people coming back from the dead and their experiences on the other side. Some saw their future, others felt an immense blissful presence -- saw bright light -- but beyond that experienced just pure awareness with no light. Others experienced the OBE where they could hear their family talking about them and see the medical room, verified after they returned to the body.

 

I've had some of these experiences already -- seeing my future 3 years in advance, having the full-life "review" as a vision I couldn't stop but that explained things psychologically for me -- seeing light and dead spirits after I did an 8 day energy feast on just half glass of water, having some astral travel experiences as well and also the DMT release from ayahuasca analog -- the kundalini release like at death.

 

The people who came back from the dead wished they could return to the spirit world -- so much better than suffering in the physical body. But their spirit was not ready to die yet while other dead spirits seek the help of masters so that their emotional trauma can be resolved and the return to pure consciousness can occur.

 

Ghost pollution is a way more real phenomenon than recognized in the West -- Chunyi Lin says it takes him several sessions to clear the ghost pollution from a room. Master Ni, Huang-chi says ghost pollution is very real in the cities. Yet only if we have weak physical energy are we susceptible to the ghost pollution directly -- weak electromagnetic physical essence energy -- the chi. That's why young females going through hormonal transformation with menstruation kicking in can become energy sources for ghosts, thereby causing poltergeists, etc.

 

In this sense modern humans are already "possessed" by the dead -- by ghosts in the lower chakras -- and in this sense modern humans, cut off from the right brain spiritual energy, are the walking UnDead as well. So death is just a transformation, just as deep dreamless sleep every night is a type of death.

 

Still I've had so many relatives die from cancer, etc. at relatively young age that I began to really ponder and wonder what death was about. I'm glad to see you have done the same about death and you were able to help your father. Chunyi Lin says that sometimes he gets clients whom he can not heal in the body but he can make sure they have a safe, peaceful transition in death. And so you have provided this wonderful gift for your dad as well.

[Seth Ananda]

Thanks Kate.

 

Fizix, your Honesty is beautiful, thanks too. All I can say is Be there for Her in the best way you can and dont judge yourself too harshly for being human. We can only do what we can do. When the experience comes, don't hide from it- let yourself experience everything you feel and also spend time with her to help her on her way to the best place she can go. Just be attentive to the process and help her be stable and not shaken as she leaves.

Blessings my friend.

 

Thanks Drew, I felt that being there with his body and spirit really helped the direction that he left from, and I really agree about the pollution thing. If far more people remained attentive to people passing, rather than allowing doctors and nurses to just shuffle them out during or straight after the last breath, there would be far less 'Ghost pollution'.

Thanks again.

[Marblehead]

Hi Seth,

 

Thanks for sharing that.

 

My strength and energy to you and all those who must deal with the loss.

 

Just remember, he still lives within you as long as you hold to the memories.

 

What you spoke of spoke to the concept of fully realizing our experiences in life. Acknowlege the experience, feel it fully in every part of our mind and body, then letting the experience go its way.

 

I think your father had a blissful passing.

 

Peace & Love!

[minkus]

Staying there and helping him with Phowa was really important, you did a great thing.

 

Im sorry for you and your family there loss. Im sure though he's soul will end up in a good place.

 

Thanx for sharing, really.

[doc benway]

Thank you dearly, Seth, for sharing such a personal and important experience with us.

I hope to be able to show the same love and compassion to my loved ones in their last moments as you have.

I believe that many of our behaviors that surround death and dying are pathological and counterproductive.

Approaching death with honesty, respect, love, and compassion is the only thing that makes sense.

I am humbled by your honesty and strength.

Steve

 

 

My beloved Father passed away 2 days ago (Sat 10, 10, 09).

I held his hand and stroked his head while he died, and waited with his Body till it was cold. I helped wash him down and gave him his last shave.

It feels like an important process to really be there, just letting the feelings come, as well as being there for him as he left.

It really felt like a slow process, the way his spirit disconected from his body and being there, holding space for him, and giving Him stable loving energy to him during this while the nurse was busy pulling out all the various tubes and wires was Very Important.

It has really helped with the grieving process as the feelings now are just of personal loss. Acceptance of death came easily after going through this with him and I actually feel Happy for him.

 

I guess the reason I am writing this is for any future Bums who have a Close family member Die, to really find a way to Be there, both for them and for Yourself.

 

Blessed be my Beautiful Father, so selfless in life and an Inspiration to everyone who knew him.

 

Seth.

 

 

I'm sorry to see how you are suffering Fizix.

I don't have any words that will make it better.

Given your history of addiction and your need to face such horrors at such a young age, I would suggest you try and find a therapist that resonates well with you to help you through some of these tough experiences.

There are therapeutic methods that are founded in Eastern concepts and practices like mindfullness that can be extremely beneficial (ACT - Acceptance and Commitment Therapy is one example).

Good luck - please feel free to share with us publicly or privately if it helps.

Steve

 

 

I've gone throughout my whole life without any close family members/friends having any brushes with death, until recently I discovered that my mother, who I love more than life, is exceptionally prone to having a stroke at any second. The saddening, hurtful sensation I felt in my throat was overwhelming when I heard the news, along with the emotional turmoil, it was unbearable. I know how important it is to be strong and full of love, but in my case I see this coming darkness as inevitable. She has undergone so much bullshit, and she is such a great person. What's worst of all, is the predominant crap she's been dealing with for the past two or so years has been my addiction to drugs (been clean for a while now though) so the hurt is very much there in more way than one. Guilt, shame, sadness, 19 years under my belt and I am not even close to being ready to deal with something like this. Elder, experienced bums input much appreciated.

Seth, my greatest condolences to your father, I'm sure he was a great man, and I pray that I may experience similar circumstances upon parting.

[thelerner]

Like the others have said, thank you for sharing. Death is too often a taboo subject.

 

 

Michael

[Apech]

Seth,

 

Your post was very moving. Thank you for sharing this with us.

 

A.

[Birch Tree]

Hi Seth,

 

I wish you strength and peace during this difficult time. There is something about being there that is important--it is healing in some way. Your father seems like a remarkable person. I wish you and your family well during this time of sorrow.

 

Sincerely,

Birch Tree

[Yoda]

Seth,

 

When my Dad passed away a month and a half ago, Mak Tin Si taught me a Chinese saying:

 

"JIT OI SUUN BEEN"

 

節哀順變

JIT - to reduce

OI - sadness

Suun - flow

BEEN - changes

 

Jit or 'jeet' and oi rhymes with 'toy'... the phrase means not to be too sad as that blocks the flow of life for the rest of the family.

 

He suggested to live a more clean, disciplined lifestyle for awhile and avoid being too happy like partying or being too sad for as long as possible and the early days and weeks are more important to be clean than in months down the road but many Chinese believe that the transition process can take 3 years or so.

 

It's definitely a challenging time... good luck with it!

 

Your pal,

Yoda

[voidisyinyang]

On Chinese recovery from death -- I happened to just re-watch 8 Diagram Pole Fighters -- considered by some to be the best martial arts movie. It's about recovery from death and the family survivors has one go insane and the other go to the monastery. Then I learned that the one to go insane actually died during filming in a car accident -- and so the acting in the film is a real reaction to death as well.

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eight-Diagram_Pole_Fighter

 

Seth,

 

When my Dad passed away a month and a half ago, Mak Tin Si taught me a Chinese saying:

 

"JIT OI SUUN BEEN"

 

節哀順變

JIT - to reduce

OI - sadness

Suun - flow

BEEN - changes

 

Jit or 'jeet' and oi rhymes with 'toy'... the phrase means not to be too sad as that blocks the flow of life for the rest of the family.

 

He suggested to live a more clean, disciplined lifestyle for awhile and avoid being too happy like partying or being too sad for as long as possible and the early days and weeks are more important to be clean than in months down the road but many Chinese believe that the transition process can take 3 years or so.

 

It's definitely a challenging time... good luck with it!

 

Your pal,

Yoda

[Deepbluesea]

My beloved Father passed away 2 days ago (Sat 10, 10, 09).

I held his hand and stroked his head while he died, and waited with his Body till it was cold. I helped wash him down and gave him his last shave.

It feels like an important process to really be there, just letting the feelings come, as well as being there for him as he left.

It really felt like a slow process, the way his spirit disconected from his body and being there, holding space for him, and giving Him stable loving energy to him during this while the nurse was busy pulling out all the various tubes and wires was Very Important.

It has really helped with the grieving process as the feelings now are just of personal loss. Acceptance of death came easily after going through this with him and I actually feel Happy for him.

 

I guess the reason I am writing this is for any future Bums who have a Close family member Die, to really find a way to Be there, both for them and for Yourself.

 

Blessed be my Beautiful Father, so selfless in life and an Inspiration to everyone who knew him.

 

Seth.

Thanks Seth, blessings and peace to you and your beloved father,

I know that the time I spent with my grandparents in their last few days, nearly 24/7, as a few family members helped, was incredibly valuable in dealing with their deaths. What I remember most was lots of smiling, happiness and love. It was not at all what I would have thought.

 

I sincerely believe that what you and he experienced will serve you both well spiritually!

 

Lots of love,

Dave

[Seth Ananda]

Aww you Bum's are great.

 

Yesterday in Meditation I spent some time praying and sending him good energy when He popped 'up' to say hi... Wow, He felt so excited and Happier than I ever felt anyone. It was quite a suprise. I guess I had been feeling slightly worried that I hadn't felt him at all since He left, despite knowing that he had a good death. Who knows what his next step will be but he felt so excited about it.

I cried for about an hour afterwards but it was mixed with laughter and happyness as well.

The Family are all just being together, eating, celebrating him in different ways, grieving and laughing. It really brings Familys closer together.

 

Thanks again everyone

[Vajrahridaya]

My beloved Father passed away 2 days ago (Sat 10, 10, 09).

I held his hand and stroked his head while he died, and waited with his Body till it was cold. I helped wash him down and gave him his last shave.

It feels like an important process to really be there, just letting the feelings come, as well as being there for him as he left.

It really felt like a slow process, the way his spirit disconected from his body and being there, holding space for him, and giving Him stable loving energy to him during this while the nurse was busy pulling out all the various tubes and wires was Very Important.

It has really helped with the grieving process as the feelings now are just of personal loss. Acceptance of death came easily after going through this with him and I actually feel Happy for him.

 

I guess the reason I am writing this is for any future Bums who have a Close family member Die, to really find a way to Be there, both for them and for Yourself.

 

Blessed be my Beautiful Father, so selfless in life and an Inspiration to everyone who knew him.

 

Seth.

 

Bless your Father Seth.

 

A little more than a year ago now, I was in Canada and watched my grandfather go through his last moments and touched his head shortly before he left. I saw many "mystical" things going on, like him going through a bardo of some sort, though he was heavily sedated. My mother held his hand during his last moments whispering her favorite mantra over and over again. I watched as he slipped out of body consciousness and was quite overwhelmed.

 

It's an amazing experience to witness with a sense of spiritual sensitivity. I'm getting all teary eyed thinking about it now. It's a great blessing that you were there with him during his final moments in this body.

 

All the best!

Edited October 13, 2009 by Vajrahridaya

[Yoda]

Drew,

 

Thanks for the film suggestion!

 

Your pal,

Yoda

[genmaicha]

Sorry to hear about your loss, Seth.

Thank you for sharing.

Your father must have been very happy that you were there for him.

 

The thread shows that it's quite a nice community here.