Ego vs. Confidence

[wudangspirit]

During my own cultivation I run into a dilemna from time to time and try to check myself but not sure how to evaluate or just live by what I think is right.

 

When you want to spread the word about things you've experienced and share them by teaching them to others because they've worked for you do you often run in to a Ego vs. Confidence fight?

 

I like to think I check my ego at the door on most accounts but when you promote yourself or teachings I think you need confidence but show the confidence without ego.

 

Any thought or anyone else experience this?

[longrhythm]

Something I was actually feeling earlier today. And the way I've come to experience it is this-

 

Ego- reactive, flighty, fighty, aggressive, volatile

Confidence- Firm and Gentle.

 

Confidence is a beautiful place to be.

 

During my own cultivation I run into a dilemna from time to time and try to check myself but not sure how to evaluate or just live by what I think is right.

 

When you want to spread the word about things you've experienced and share them by teaching them to others because they've worked for you do you often run in to a Ego vs. Confidence fight?

 

I like to think I check my ego at the door on most accounts but when you promote yourself or teachings I think you need confidence but show the confidence without ego.

 

Any thought or anyone else experience this?

[wudangspirit]

Thanks for the reply. Good way to look at it.

 

Something I was actually feeling earlier today. And the way I've come to experience it is this-

 

Ego- reactive, flighty, fighty, aggressive, volatile

Confidence- Firm and Gentle.

 

Confidence is a beautiful place to be.

[Marblehead]

Something I was actually feeling earlier today. And the way I've come to experience it is this-

 

Ego- reactive, flighty, fighty, aggressive, volatile

Confidence- Firm and Gentle.

 

Confidence is a beautiful place to be.

 

Yeah, I agree. Good way of looking at it.

 

As a PS note though, confidence sometimes requires not-so-gentle action/reaction.

 

Yes, confidence grows from knowing one's capacities and capabilities.

 

Peace & Love!

[wudangspirit]

Totally agree. Hey Marblehead...we should start our own cult. hahahaha Just kidding.

 

Yeah, I agree. Good way of looking at it.

 

As a PS note though, confidence sometimes requires not-so-gentle action/reaction.

 

Yes, confidence grows from knowing one's capacities and capabilities.

 

Peace & Love!

[Marblehead]

Nice time for an Albert Camus quote:

 

Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Walk beside me and be my friend.

[Michael Roland]

 

 

Ego- reactive, flighty, fighty, aggressive, volatile

Confidence- Firm and Gentle.

 

Confidence is a beautiful place to be.

 

That's a nice way to think about it. Functional, I think, in terms of psychosocial thoughts and interactions and perceived responses by others.

 

But, I would say that truly without ego there is simply knowing and being and doing. Confidence or lack thereof has no basis. No place to stick. The ego has to be present in order to feel confidence. The ego must be there in order to feel itself confident.

 

In other words. Nice, firm, gentle, guys have egos too, they just don't get called assholes for the privilege.

[Sloppy Zhang]

Something I was actually feeling earlier today. And the way I've come to experience it is this-

 

Ego- reactive, flighty, fighty, aggressive, volatile

Confidence- Firm and Gentle.

 

Confidence is a beautiful place to be.

 

Again, great way of putting it

 

More directly to the OP, when telling others stuff that worked for you- it depends.

 

If you take something like cultivation, some people don't know where to begin. It's fine if you tell them about a technique, and maybe one or two ways it helped you. But you don't have to make a huge list and recite it to them. If they ask about it, then it's even less of a big deal. People like to hear stories about stuff that works (or better yet, see it in action). It inspires them, gives them a general sense of where the practice is headed, and they'll know that they won't be wasting their time if they try it out themselves.

 

It can be egotistical if you start talking about your experience when it is NOT required, i.e. they don't ask, or you are trying to "one up" them.

 

It all comes down to be aware of what you are doing and why you are doing it at all times.

[Marblehead]

 

But, I would say that truly without ego there is simply knowing and being and doing. Confidence or lack thereof has no basis. No place to stick. The ego has to be present in order to feel confidence. The ego must be there in order to feel itself confident.

 

 

 

Excellent observation, I think.

 

Peace & Love!

[Easy]

 

I like to think I check my ego at the door on most accounts but when you promote yourself or teachings I think you need confidence but show the confidence without ego.

 

 

The word "ego" here is the problem. Of course one has to have an ego, otherwise one is autistic. The other problem word is "confidence."

 

Perhaps the last part of the sentence should read "...I think you need expertise but show the expertise with humility."

 

Promotion, "promoting yourself or teachings" edges toward arrogance. One should always keep in mind that "those who can do, and those who can't teach" so it is best to just keep doing and if someone else is impressed they can ask questions and follow along.

[Michael Roland]

I think you need confidence but show the confidence without ego.

 

Any thought or anyone else experience this?

Perhaps more to the point of the question is truth.

 

Be true to your path. If you have ego, you have ego. It's not bad, it just is. Also, to make a sweeping generalization, we all have ego. So, don't sweat it. It gets less important as you stay true to your path.

 

I don't know you Wudan, but if I briefly look at your reflection as I write this, I would say that you have something of value to offer, you are enthusiastic, and want to share. Because of your cultivation, your path has clear parameters.

 

If what you choose to present is the truth or at least you are being true to your path in presentation (and the promotion) then you should go forth and expound the virtues of your offering without the diluting it with doubt...or worse loosing it completely by falling into an ego loop of false comtemplation.

 

Yea so, I say unto you this: Do not hide your light under a bushel

[freeform]

Ego vs. Confidence

 

Notice if what you do or say is arguing for self importance.

 

Do you feel 'special' because you know this stuff? Do you feel special, but try to play it down to seem humble?

 

Or do you try to learn more than you teach? Notice more than show?

[wudangspirit]

I would have to disagree with this. In Taoism our first step to self cultivation is killing the ego to see your true self. Ego is more than "I am better than he/she". Ego is the notion that you deserve a certain place or space based on your post heaven experiences while letting them identify who you are. That gets in the way of true confidence and self.

 

That's a nice way to think about it. Functional, I think, in terms of psychosocial thoughts and interactions and perceived responses by others.

 

But, I would say that truly without ego there is simply knowing and being and doing. Confidence or lack thereof has no basis. No place to stick. The ego has to be present in order to feel confidence. The ego must be there in order to feel itself confident.

 

In other words. Nice, firm, gentle, guys have egos too, they just don't get called assholes for the privilege.

 

 

This makes sense to me. I know we have to have ego but attachment to it keeps us from seeing ourselve. Thanks. This is very clear.

 

Perhaps more to the point of the question is truth.

 

Be true to your path. If you have ego, you have ego. It's not bad, it just is. Also, to make a sweeping generalization, we all have ego. So, don't sweat it. It gets less important as you stay true to your path.

 

I don't know you Wudan, but if I briefly look at your reflection as I write this, I would say that you have something of value to offer, you are enthusiastic, and want to share. Because of your cultivation, your path has clear parameters.

 

If what you choose to present is the truth or at least you are being true to your path in presentation (and the promotion) then you should go forth and expound the virtues of your offering without the diluting it with doubt...or worse loosing it completely by falling into an ego loop of false comtemplation.

 

Yea so, I say unto you this: Do not hide your light under a bushel

 

 

I teach because it helps me learn more and helps others learn something too. It's a complete exchange.

 

Notice if what you do or say is arguing for self importance.

 

Do you feel 'special' because you know this stuff? Do you feel special, but try to play it down to seem humble?

 

Or do you try to learn more than you teach? Notice more than show?

[freeform]

Ego is the notion that you deserve a certain place or space based on your post heaven experiences while letting them identify who you are.

 

[SingaporeGuyHere]

i guess its best when both ego and confidence disappears

 

anyway i agree with Michael Roland

 

But, I would say that truly without ego there is simply knowing and being and doing. Confidence or lack thereof has no basis. No place to stick. The ego has to be present in order to feel confidence. The ego must be there in order to feel itself confident.

[JustARandomPanda]

See if you can 'feel' your Mingmen and what - if anything - it emits. I did that with mine and discovered it radiates a powerful blast of cowardice 24/7. I think it's one reason my life in the 'real world' as a shut-in has reduced itself to a little 450 sq ft apartment.