David Deida

[sean]

[Cameron]

His CD course from Sounds True is called Enlightened Sex. Would you rather me get that or the Adya retreat? Link if you want to check.

 

http://store.yahoo.com/soundstruestore/af00839d.html

Edited December 7, 2005 by Cameron

[Yoda]

Ah, that's just about being a good writer with low testosterone.

 

The best erotic male writer I've met was a kid I went to high school with. He'd spend his time in class writing erotica. He kept it to himself and was a normal kid otherwise, but my friend and I would fish out the occational draft he'd throw away. We were so impressed that we walked into the school office and ran off 100 copies to post around school. Ironically, the girl who I wanted to invite to the prom was the one who blew the whistle on my publishing efforts.

 

-Yoda

[Ian]

Funnily enough, I went to see a friend this weekend, and he had three of Mr Deida's books waiting in his pile of semi-read stuff. I skimmed one of them pretty thoroughly, think it was "way of the superior man" or something like that.

 

As the quotes you post above suggest, he has quite an interesting take on true yang and true yin, and a pleasantly controversial way of putting it.

 

But very little actual practice. My friend said his "technique" book was directly lifted from chia, even down to the diagrams, without acknowledgement.

 

What my friend recommended, which I've since ordered two copies of cos it's great, was a book by Diana Richardson. This has been published as "The Love Keys" and also as "The Heart of Tantric Sex." The latter is more likely to be available as a cheap paperback, but it's the same book either way.

 

She acknowledges Barry Long and Osho as her main influences, and makes the teachings very accessible.

 

There is another book of hers called "tantric orgasm for women", which doesn't have quite the same spark, but more material about breasts, which is always nice.

 

Happy trails,

I

[sean]

Yeah, I noticed his techniques are a little thin and closely resemble Chia's work. Chia's work is practically public domain though at this point, it's been circulated through so many disparate fields and back again and I think it's also encouraged other Chi Kung teachers to come forward and teach their knowledge of MCO, etc. So it's hard to say for sure what is a direct rip. What I am digging out of Deida is actually the more theoretical stuff on polarities. As I'm sure you're aware of my distaste for gender absolutes, he speaks in a way that doesn't rub that ... I think gender polarities/differences is work I have sorely needed to address I just hadn't stumbled across a teacher that didn't irritate me (ie: John Gray). I've also read that Barry Long places a little too much emphasis on relationship problems/success being more the man's fault/responsibility which turns some people off ... maybe he's right, I dunno. I want to read Long's stuff for sure, and thanks for the Diana Richardson recommendation.

 

Oh yeah, one thing Deida talks about is breathing the MCO all throughout your day whenever you remember. Refreshing twist though is that he has you inhaling down the front channel and exhaling up the spinal channel. Pretty nice.

 

 

Sean

[hagar]

h

Edited May 25, 2009 by hagar

[sean]

A good friend of mine said " what it takes to be a real man is to have brains, heart and balls. If you are so lucky to be lacking in any one of these, you will do good with women. If you have them all, you're in trouble...

Oh, that is so my excuse from now on. Thanks hagar.

[GrandTrinity]

When I was at Tao Mountain I was sitting at a table with Winn who was telling someone about how he helped Deida write the technical section (big draw sort of orbit of sex chi in orgasm) in Wasy of the Superior Man. That is a pretty okay book. All of Deida's materials is pretty darn nice and I look forward to studying it.

 

I will look into Diane and have a copy of Tantric Quest. Also, I am REAL interested in studying all the work of Katrina Kittles. Google her!

[Taiji Bum]

WOW!!!! I just got blown away by THE WAY OF THE SUPERIOR MAN!!! It answered so many questions I had about the relationship I am in. The things I am doing right and wrong and why. I just read it tonight in one sitting! WOW!!!!!!

[Pietro]

WOW!!!! I just got blown away by THE WAY OF THE SUPERIOR MAN!!! It answered so many questions I had about the relationship I am in. The things I am doing right and wrong and why. I just read it tonight in one sitting! WOW!!!!!!

good! I am always surprised when something you value so much is finally discovered by one of your friends. SoMetimes months after you tried in all possible ways to have them read/use it.

Not all other books by DD are so good, but do checkout intimate communion. The description of the male quest is worth the price of the book!!

Edited May 3, 2009 by Pietro

[Taiji Bum]

I'll get INTIMATE COMMUNION next then. Thanks for the heads up. The whole stick to your purpose and why women test men has just opened my heart/mind. I cant wait to try the deeper love stuff on my GF. The chapter on women testing us is what made me buy the book. My GF drops these "bombs" on me every once in a while that just leave me dumbfounded. In the past I didn't really know what to do so I just loved her through them but unfortunately she did find my achilles heel that I always react badly too. So of course she uses it over and over. Now that I know "WHY" she is testing me I will hopefully stay more conscious and just love the piss out of her next time she tries to piss me off. In fact, I am betting that tonight she will test me again and...... I'll be ready! LOL

[sahaj]

David's Stuff is fantastic! I've done a couple workshops with him and I really recommend them.

I think he has become a bit of a superstar lately?

[Taiji Bum]

I had another WOW..... David says,

 

"What you find most attractive SEXUALLY about your woman, you find the least attractive in your day-to-day life together."

 

Reading and seeing that with my GF was a major breakthrough for me yesterday. Its funny how a short one line piece of insight can change your entire view of a person!

 

EDIT: I should mention I love her even more now.

Edited May 6, 2009 by DarinHamel

[markern]

I have read the enlightened sex manual, and some of the way of the superior man. I was also struck by how incredibly good a lot of Deidas writings were. However, I found his aproach to male female relations on the whole to be very problematic. As far as I could see the man is suposed to show incredible strength and enormous generosity of heart while the woman is expected to do basicly nothing other than indulge in being an emotionaly irresponsible brat that is being a real bitch "testing" her man in order to feel his power and love by being overcome by the strength of the mans love and character. I might very well have gotten Deida wrong here and it is a very long time since I read his books but this is the impression that I got. I also googled him and found that a lot of people that have taken numerous workshops with him and been dedicated followers truly trying to live his teachings in their relationships found that it was a very faulty teaching that actualy wrecked havock on their realtionships. The reason in large part was the strange disrcrepancy between what is required from a man in terms of strength and maturity in contrast to a woman but also they found the whole thing hopeless to actualy live up to. I might be totaly wrong here, I am very interested to hear what you think about this and I still think that there are a lot very insightfull things in Deidas books despite my vague memory of there being something very wrong about his teachings.

[Pranaman]

As far as I could see the man is suposed to show incredible strength and enormous generosity of heart while the woman is expected to do basicly nothing other than indulge in being an emotionaly irresponsible brat that is being a real bitch "testing" her man in order to feel his power and love by being overcome by the strength of the mans love and character.

 

I have read Way Of the Superior Man. Note that he says, IF a man is able to truly pierce the woman's testing with love, and she does not accept the love..... maybe it's time for the man to move on to someone that can (or something of the like). A women that acts like a bitch, recieves love in return, then continues acting like a bitch, is playing the part of a masculine energized ego. The yang characteristic of active dominance. David's book WOTSM is for an essentially masculine person in relationship with an essentially feminine other.

 

It would take dedication, and an ample amount of mindfulness and discipline to actually develop yourself as a "superior man". Fully expressing your inner yang. Having the "spine and heart" is an effect of a large amount of meditation that I have yet to give to myself. The proof is in the examples of teachers across the world that have an open heart, and a whole lot of spine.

[markern]

I have read Way Of the Superior Man. Note that he says, IF a man is able to truly pierce the woman's testing with love, and she does not accept the love..... maybe it's time for the man to move on to someone that can (or something of the like). A women that acts like a bitch, recieves love in return, then continues acting like a bitch, is playing the part of a masculine energized ego. The yang characteristic of active dominance. David's book WOTSM is for an essentially masculine person in relationship with an essentially feminine other.

 

It would take dedication, and an ample amount of mindfulness and discipline to actually develop yourself as a "superior man". Fully expressing your inner yang. Having the "spine and heart" is an effect of a large amount of meditation that I have yet to give to myself. The proof is in the examples of teachers across the world that have an open heart, and a whole lot of spine.

 

Get your point but I still see this as the man being required to do a enormous amount of work and the woman to do the bare minimum of what is required of a person. Actualy still less. What is the work a woman is required to do that is as demanding as what the man is required to do?

[sahaj]

I have read the enlightened sex manual, and some of the way of the superior man. I was also struck by how incredibly good a lot of Deidas writings were. However, I found his aproach to male female relations on the whole to be very problematic. As far as I could see the man is suposed to show incredible strength and enormous generosity of heart while the woman is expected to do basicly nothing other than indulge in being an emotionaly irresponsible brat that is being a real bitch "testing" her man in order to feel his power and love by being overcome by the strength of the mans love and character. I might very well have gotten Deida wrong here and it is a very long time since I read his books but this is the impression that I got. I also googled him and found that a lot of people that have taken numerous workshops with him and been dedicated followers truly trying to live his teachings in their relationships found that it was a very faulty teaching that actualy wrecked havock on their realtionships. The reason in large part was the strange disrcrepancy between what is required from a man in terms of strength and maturity in contrast to a woman but also they found the whole thing hopeless to actualy live up to. I might be totaly wrong here, I am very interested to hear what you think about this and I still think that there are a lot very insightfull things in Deidas books despite my vague memory of there being something very wrong about his teachings.

 

HA that is a most excellent post!! I believe you are right in some ways. But the woman's work of surrender is as challenging as the man's work of presence. The whole teaching including "superior"man could be a bit

of an ideal that is more conceptual than possible...

Edited May 6, 2009 by sahaj

[Ian]

Get your point but I still see this as the man being required to do a enormous amount of work and the woman to do the bare minimum of what is required of a person. Actualy still less. What is the work a woman is required to do that is as demanding as what the man is required to do?

 

I'm not a very great fan of David Deida, (I think he encourages men to act in imitation of true yang, rather than actually express it), but this point is raised about other writers too.

 

One answer is this: that a woman must keep saying no, again and again, to every wrong man, to every expression of false yang, that seeks her complicity, even at the risk of being alone. This is true yin. Can be a pretty full time job.

[Pranaman]

Get your point but I still see this as the man being required to do a enormous amount of work and the woman to do the bare minimum of what is required of a person. Actualy still less. What is the work a woman is required to do that is as demanding as what the man is required to do?

 

You believe that a woman and man in a relationship should be given an equal workload. I believe that this should not be required IF it made both of them unhappy. Alot of women would be extremely happy with a man that Deida calls superior. Alot of men are happy to be what Deida calls superior. So i'm not sure where the division of workload really matters.

 

Also, you say that if the man is to fully express himself it's considered more work. I say if he is to fully express himself then it's only natural and completely effortless. For if he is truly a yang man, then it's in his heart to be a "superior man", whether or not it's inhibited by fears, anxieties, numbness, or just plain cluelessness. The work is in eliminating inhibition.

 

If some one doesn't think that Deida's advice of living on his edge, facing his fears, unconditionally loving his woman and living his purpose will make him happy, then it's probably just not for the guy.

[Taiji Bum]

To me, his advice is easy to follow and it is almost magical. I've seen his videos and he is an obvious feminine male and I think his advice is for a feminine male and not for the masculine male like he says.

[shontonga]

Get your point but I still see this as the man being required to do a enormous amount of work and the woman to do the bare minimum of what is required of a person. Actualy still less. What is the work a woman is required to do that is as demanding as what the man is required to do?

 

 

 

 

...

Edited May 7, 2009 by shontonga

[Taiji Bum]

As far as I could see the man is suposed to show incredible strength and enormous generosity of heart while the woman is expected to do basicly nothing other than indulge in being an emotionaly irresponsible brat that is being a real bitch "testing" her man in order to feel his power and love by being overcome by the strength of the mans love and character.

Thats not it at all as I see it. If a woman is being moody how hard is it to just stand there and let her be moody or bitchy even. Just dont take it personal. If you have a life purpose and are working towards it that is the most attractive thing to a woman in his and my opinion which will make her far less moody and bitchy. I think its like the Law of Attraction, if you show love to her, she shows love to you, but as the active masculine partner you have to go first. Its not that you are doing all the work. Besides, a woman gives much more to a man in a relationship than men give to women.

Edited May 7, 2009 by DarinHamel

[Mal]

[三江源]

.

Edited March 26, 2015 by 三江源

[Taiji Bum]

Fantastic. Where did you get that from Ian?

 

Imagine if it really happened, that all women did it. What on earth would happen to men...

Exactly, women put up with more crap from men that men do from women because there is more at stake for a woman to lose. Women on the whole are on a higher spiritual plane than men according to the kaballah. I think thats why its much easier to find a woman who is a "10 inside and out" than it is to find a guy who has his life together financially, spiritually and is not playing video games all day or beating off to porn in his free time. Good average men are much, much harder to find than fantastic, beautiful women are!