Semen Retention, Transmutation, whatever, i just feel weak after ejaculation and don't want to feel like that anymore. ;)

[IchBinEin]

Hi,

I've been trying to save my sexual energy as of late.

A few weeks ago, i started searching the internet for ways to do this. Tao Bums was the only place I could find that was having this kind of conversation. I had no intention of learning Taoist Philosophies or practices, but only the desire to avoid the depression I normally felt after ejaculation, and to hold on to the intense feelings of power and confidence I had when i hadn't come for a while.

I realized that in this high-energy state, i would do my best work, i would be highly motivated, and almost never have doubts as to what to do next.

On the other hand, for 3-5 days after ejaculating, i would feel so weak, so vulnerable around other people, and get into these funks where, i felt i had no purpose in life, just utter lack of motivation. So, after some searching around i found this site, and the concept of retention.

 

Again, I have no other ambitions aside from learning to feel at my peak as often as possible.

 

I've read around this site over and over again. And from what I can gather, most are saying that retention is a potentially dangerous practice. I've read over the areas of Trunk's site that i found to be pertinent multiple times. The last thing i want is erectile dysfunction or other health concerns. I can deal with a little heat, I like the manic feeling I get sometimes.

 

I don't want to go the celibate route because I'm currently in a relationship and the girl has quite a strong sexual appetite and I wouldn't blame her for turning somewhere else if i'm unwilling to fulfill those desires.

 

So what I'm thinking is that I can still have sex 5-7 times a week, but just learn to retain, so that I don't become energetically sapped. Then I could ejaculate once every 2 weeks or every month, whatever feels right.

As of late, I've been practicing by myself, by getting up to the point of no return and tightening my pc muscles, to some degree of success, usually one drop comes out. After this, i don't feel the depression that I used to, but there is still a noticeable energetic down-shifting. I don't like that, but maybe it just has to do with timing of the muscle contraction and the current strength of the muscles. Should I keep working on this method? It's simple and straightforward enough. But could this method cause me harm? I'm doing nothing manually because from what i've read that has a higher potential of doing damage.

 

I don't want to hurt myself. I want to fulfill my partner's sexual needs. I don't want to feel drained and depressed due to ejaculation. I want to feel the power of having all that life still in my body. That's all I want as of now. It's just where I am on my path. I'm 21 years old, not looking to invest significant amounts of time learning about taoism (I respect those who are, but that's not where I am at this point in my life), I just want to feel I'm at my energetic peak as often as I can, without hurting myself.

 

So, what would you say is the safest and most effective way to do this?

[Trunk]

On the other hand, for 3-5 days after ejaculating, i would feel so weak, so vulnerable around other people, and get into these funks where, i felt i had no purpose in life, just utter lack of motivation. So, after some searching around i found this site, and the concept of retention.

That's a bit extreme and I suggest indicates that some basic remedial steps might be more initially appropriate. I think of jing gong (essence work) as "remedial (healing)", "basic healthy", and "advanced". Retention is advanced and since it's all people tend to hear about it's a solution that gets over-applied, "when all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail".

 

I suggest that you look into the massage section, starting with massaging the liver channel. Once you've become comfortable with massaging the Liver channel, explore a little of this & that other self-massage. Follow up self-massage with stretching and gentle lower tan tien breathing, and get some kind of cardio exercise to get some blood circulating.

 

You'll find that all of the above will smooth your recovery curve, so that the loss from ejaculation is more of a mild dip (rather than a serious funk) and that you recover faster. Also, you'll find that as you open more, whatever attempts you make at retention (whether it is just for prolonging love-making or if it is for actual retention) will be considerably easier.... but I'd say that retention is not really your first step. Your first step is to get more towards "healthy normal".

 

Regarding her pleasure, I also suggest that you read the Vertical Positions essay, especially the part about "trigger zones". With that info, in whatever way you apply it, you're likely to keep her happier with less effort on your part.

 

kind regards,

Trunk

[IchBinEin]

Thanks very much for your advice Trunk. I'm just wondering though, you've been around for awhile, have you seen instances of people hurting themselves on the kind of light retention program I'm practicing, i.e., pc muscle contraction, no manual pressing, and just 2 weeks or one month at a time?

[Trunk]

... have you seen instances of people hurting themselves on the kind of light retention program I'm practicing, i.e., pc muscle contraction, no manual pressing, and just 2 weeks or one month at a time?

It's hard to tell, and it's ultimately impossible for me to say exactly what is appropriate for you. You've gotta fly your own plane, feel things for yourself, decisions are yours. I would say that generally for you for now: go easy on the retention and do lots of self-acupressure, stretching, LTT breathing, any kind of cardio. "Opening tissues and channels" is the main task, and that's what makes retention (or even standard good ol' healthy sex) possible. However you measure out that balance, that's up to you.

 

 

p.s.

Maybe I'm over playing my hand, but I'd say if it takes you more than 3 days to recover from ej (and that recovery period is not currently smooth, but a real drag) and you're hoping to make a short-order adjustment (w/ retention) to 5-7 times a week sex ... that sounds an unrealistic leap to me. You're in repair mode and to progress you've gotta have some sort of respect for your current actual cycle. But, hey, I don't know a lot of other things about you and I can certainly understand wanting to make love to a girlfriend all the time. And, as I said, it's your plane to fly, your ship to steer. Lotta assessments I couldn't make even if I wanted to. Employ your own best judgement and good blessings to you.

[Yoda]

IchBinEin,

 

At 21 you aren't supposed to worry about this sort of thing!!! Come back to us in 15 years!!!

 

Are you getting enough sunshine, exercise, yummy food, vitamins, waking up early in the morning, etc? Eat more hot, slow cooked foods especially beans especially black beans. Crock pots are cheap and well worth it.

 

Also, many sperm masters on TTBs have said that it's not the pc muscle but rather the anus and tailbone area.

 

Check out Trunk's alchemicaltaoism.com and advancedyogapractices.com and also... I'm blanking on the practice name... the one where you do the heart sound haaaaa-aaaaaa-aahhhh where the middle part is higher that's another gear... key sound... google that on this site.

 

Ron Jeremy suggested that men when getting close to the edge move to oral sex, etc to cool off for a bit.

 

The problem with retention is that it amplifies this energy in the body and it's easy to blow a gasket... if you master it it might not do you any favors as is seen in the example of Ron Jeremy... it can move a normal depression into a worse place. Best to find more energetic healing and balance in the first place through rest, exercise, getting sunshine, etc.

 

All of the above is hard won wisdom from the 30 something set, but at 21 you should be able to be heedless... you are giving up energy but so is she and it should be a nice, balancing experience... not a depressing one.

 

My guess is that you have closed yourself off to her energy due to a heartbreak in the past or there is some sort of incompatibility in the relationship which might or might not be able to be addressed. Either way, I'd focus on cultivating feelings of love and connection and giving her lots of massages, love notes, etc and to completely avoid the practice of retention as an end itself but only as one way to increase the love vibe like in the key sound/heart sound.

 

Good luck!

 

Your pal,

Yoda

[Trunk]

p.p.s.

I can deal with a little heat, I like the manic feeling I get sometimes.

While we all like to feel rev'd sometimes, if you've read the essays at my site you also know that that heat generates disharmonies over the long term (much like the ones that you've already described that you have). Retention tends to have excess trapped heat as a by-product, so a critical part of the skill set is to learn to clear that heat and resolve any residual tensions and actually spend time in the cooler part of your cycle. Even though no one is actually teaching how to do that (at least not for difficult cases), if that somehow doesn't occur then one's over-all situation will predictably become worse and worse.

 

 

See the essay Healthy Sine.

[IchBinEin]

I'm actually on a raw vegan diet and have been for around 10 months.

However, I've always felt depleted for a period after ej, so it's not solely a dietary issue, although it's possible my current diet has amplified the effect.

I wonder if there are any specific foods to add to my diet to help shorten the recovery period?

I've already read through the "post ejaculatory depression" thread multiple times. And it seems as though the consensus there is to add fish oil to the diet, which I have done.

A lot of bad things come up after ej. I just want to withdraw from the world. I don't want to talk with anyone. Friends will call me and I'll just let it ring because I just feel so thin, flimsy, and vulnerable, like I have nothing to say. I just want to retreat for a while.

I want to pursue retention to avoid these feelings, because when I have not ej for a while, I feel so full of life and confidence, I feel so great! So I want to make sure I feel this way as often as I possibly can.

 

Perhaps I just need to add something to my diet which enhances libido? That may improve my recovery time, right?

[Trunk]

Perhaps I just need to add something to my diet which enhances libido? That may improve my recovery time, right?

Diet is worth experimenting with.

 

There are various Chinese herbs and herbal formulas. You'd want to go more towards yin tonics or balanced yin~yang formulas - in order to restore well - not really yang stuff. DragonHerbs.com has a good selection & quality and they also have advice by phone. Can be a bit o' $$ over time, but often worth trying.

 

Then there's meats & proteins which are very nourishing, restorative... might be against your current sense of aesthetics, but might also be healthy & important for you. Steak & eggs, or something more exotic (link) (and very inexpensive).

 

I've more recently been experimenting with some quality mineral supplements (link), which I think are important - occasionally in small doses.. very affordable.

 

And, yup, the oils are part of it.

 

~ edit ~

There are a number of "friendly oils": fish oils, borage oil, hemp oil (a complete protein and a favorite). I shift around which ones I take; I think variety is good - though I'm not clear on all their differences. Witch has a book, The Orgasmic Diet, that talks about oils and other. I haven't read it but people seem to like it (and it's on my amazon wish-list).

[IchBinEin]

Well. This is what I'm working with right now.

Apparently a great deal of your body's zinc reserves are stored in semen. This means that after ej your body is looking to replenish this micromineral.

Should you google search something along the lines of "libido enhancing foods", you'll find many sources suggesting foods high in zinc. Oysters have reached nearly mythical status because of the high concentration of zinc they contain. Selenium is another micromineral that the body stores in semen.

The theory I'm working with is that, the more quickly I can restore the reserves of these minerals, the faster my body will be able to produce sperm, thereby shortening my recovery time after ej.

On a raw food diet, the best source of zinc that I'm aware of is pumpkin seeds. And a few Brazil nuts should be sufficient for maintaining adequate levels of selenium.

What do you think?

[Trunk]

Yup, zinc is important. This product has zinc in liquid form (gelcaps). See my previous link in this thread to the minerals discussion.

 

[IchBinEin]

Thank you for the recommendation Trunk. "Now" supplements seem to be quality and are usually the most affordable on amazon. Thanks also for tuning me into the distinction between liquid and tablet supplements. That will stick with me. Right now, I'm trying to get as much of my nutrients as possible from whole food sources, so I'll stick with a handfull of raw organic pumpkin seeds along with my daily multivitamin(tablet form ) for now.

 

 

 

In other news,

 

 

I want to learn to last longer while having sex.

 

It seems as though the road to multiple orgasm is very dangerous and a lot of people are getting injured through pc and other various kinds of contraction. So it seems wise to steer clear of this road.

 

Are there any other techniques to ej control that don't pose threats to my sexual/physical health?

 

This is what I'm going to practice. I'm just going to masturbate up right on the edge of the point of no return. No clenching of any muscles, just stopping and breathing, and becoming comfortable with this edge? That seems like it would be extremely difficult to maintain in actual sex though.

 

So with a partner, I'll just really focus on deep breathing, staying relaxed and enjoying the moment?

 

1.I want to keep my energy

 

2. I want to satisfy my partner.

 

3. ABOVE ALL, I DO NOT WANT TO HURT MYSELF.

 

Help me out?

Edited November 1, 2009 by IchBinEin

[Trunk]

Plenty of methods at my site and elsewhere. Whatever you do, the breath is going to be involved - so it simplifies it some to have that in mind.

 

cheers,

Trunk

[IMPERIAGO]

http://sacred-sex.org/science/science-disc...e-of-continence