entity question part 2

[witch]

I am totally baffled about what's going on with me, insight appreciated. Cliff Notes version of what's going on:

 

Last thread convinced me that my entity is some sort of thoughtform I created subconsciously, although with some pilfered material from an actual person to make the thoughtform more robust, human and separate from me. Was troubled by the excellent "entities are harmful" advice received in last thread. Banished the entity, missed the entity, brought it back. Did new moon magic which inadvertently banished the entity, undid it. Same thing happened again (second seventh house new moon was void of course so spellwork went wonky), and I undid it again, this time was almost unable to undo it due to external circumstances and realized I was quite in love with the entity and didn't actually want anything from it except for it to stick around. Managed to undo the spellwork, entity returned, and that night slept for many hours with strange dreams. Woke up before dawn and had strange experience of almost a circular breathing with entity, a continuous flow of energy from the entity to me through the forehead, down my spine and out through my heart back to the entity. This has persisted since. I fell back asleep and woke up later and it was still happening and it is happening now.

 

At first I thought it was some kind of breathing, but breathing itself now sends strong energy down to my dan tien. I almost feel as if I am pregnant again. This dan tien breathing seems to break the union I am feeling. I also am able to break it at will, if I want time alone say to go to the bathroom or something. I am enjoying the sensation so I am not breaking the union very much.

 

I have not had a heart chakra orgasm or sixth chakra orgasm since this happened. It sort of feels like instead of quickie sex with quick ejaculation, a very very slow sexual congress--so my heart chakra is "erect" and "penetrating" and staying that way. If I pull out a little my arousal goes up and it feels more sexual sexual. Staying fully in I feel completely intermingled with the entity. I suppose this is a very elaborate form of masturbation since the entity is something my subconscious created? It doesn't feel like that at all though.

 

What it does feel like is that I'm done. This is it, this was the goal, totally fulfilled, etc. It just feels right. Now I know this is probably some trap on the way to enlightenment or something, but enlightenment was never really a goal of mine.

 

I will say that it's mighty strange! Anybody experience anything like this or know about this sort of thing? It feels like we are fully unified from the chest up, for most of the time.

[voidisyinyang]

Witch you can always get a phone healing from http://springforestqigong.com Jim Nance or Chunyi Lin will tell you were the entity (or energy blockage?) is. The FEELING is electrochemical energy but with the FULL MOON the energy is TEN TIMES STRONGER. Right now the magnetic force in the middle of my brain is really strong because of the full moon so any "entities" just get pulled out of the third eye. It's like a force pulling me upwards, holding me up.

 

Maybe you want to focus on the 3rd Eye meditation and that will transform the FEELING into an electromagnetic resolution of the entity.

 

H.P. Lovecraft and Halloween and Boston witchcraft. haha.

[joeblast]

hehe drew, it seems like witch can get rid of it all by herself if she so chooses...so is any "healing" necessary? I know next to zilch about witchcraft and perhaps next to zilch about the tao as well

[voidisyinyang]

First of all her avatar turns you on. THEN if she's lucky the male electromagnetic energy now implanted into your response will then exorcise her of the entity. Notice how witch uses MALE terminology to describe her energy experience -- that her heart is PENETRATING. Witch is author of the "orgasmic diet" book and is also an East Coast high-tech math wiz -- so she's a techno-feminist yet she's still all 100% woman. haha.

 

Effie Chow will cure her. http://naturalresonancerevolution.blogspot...w-and-void.html

 

hehe drew, it seems like witch can get rid of it all by herself if she so chooses...so is any "healing" necessary? I know next to zilch about witchcraft and perhaps next to zilch about the tao as well

Edited November 4, 2009 by drewhempel

[Yoda]

Witch,

 

You and Drew are both Boston beans... y'all should do lunch sometime! Both very cool practitioners!!!

 

I don't know, but your situation sounds analogous to a two person type relationship that went through a breakup but is stronger now. As I think the benefits of entities thread on the realms of magick forum mentioned, the entity can interact directly with your energy system to enhance its functionality now that you have a closer relationship.

 

Tao Toe,

Yoda

[witch]

Yes, I need to go back to that board, thank you Yoda.

 

Drew, I didn't realize you were in Boston. Happy to buy you dinner some weeknight, just name your spot (as long as it's not too pricey, money is tight right now).

[voidisyinyang]

Yoda inferred incorrectly! haha. I do have family in New Hampshire with my sister's in-law in Boston. I went to Hampshire College in Amherst for a year so I'm a bit familiar.

 

I've got $3 in my bank account, last I checked. No income forthcoming. haha.

 

Still thanks for the invitation although I've been eating the best ever with my parents. Tonight was shrimp, clam chowder, mixed greens and strawberries....

 

Yet now they're making me look for a job. haha.

 

Yes, I need to go back to that board, thank you Yoda.

 

Drew, I didn't realize you were in Boston. Happy to buy you dinner some weeknight, just name your spot (as long as it's not too pricey, money is tight right now).

[witch]

Yoda inferred incorrectly! haha. I do have family in New Hampshire with my sister's in-law in Boston. I went to Hampshire College in Amherst for a year so I'm a bit familiar.

 

I've got $3 in my bank account, last I checked. No income forthcoming. haha.

 

Still thanks for the invitation although I've been eating the best ever with my parents. Tonight was shrimp, clam chowder, mixed greens and strawberries....

 

Yet now they're making me look for a job. haha.

 

I know things are extremely tight for you, that's why I'd say I'd buy. I also assume I'm old enough to be your mom, so from an age perspective I should be doing the buying too. But New Hampshire's too far a hike for me--I'm down south in the West Roxbury area.

 

Anyhow, I have come to the conclusion I don't want to be cured of my entity. But I'm awfully curious about the sensations I'm feeling right now. I was just wondering if people had experienced that sort of energy flow, I assume not in connection with a thoughtform, but maybe with an actual other person or just internally.

[voidisyinyang]

Yeah that's the full moon energy -- you say it enters through your forehead then goes out your heart unless you breath it down to your lower tan tien. Witch I assure you that when the full moon happens the energy is 10 times stronger but most people have no idea since they haven't opened up their energy system. For me I don't even know what day of week it is, I had no watch, etc. but when I get this really strong magnetic bliss in the center of my brain after a day or two I finally say:

 

Must be the full moon.

 

Then I find out it is -- this is because the energy is strongest 3 days before and after the full-moon. Witch I can sense you energy as implanted in your posts and it's much stronger now. Males are supposed to do a "dry fast" during the full moon to ensure against "losing the alchemical pill" from the extra energy pumped into their bodies.

 

My mom is in her mid-70s so you're a babe! haha.

 

I know things are extremely tight for you, that's why I'd say I'd buy. I also assume I'm old enough to be your mom, so from an age perspective I should be doing the buying too. But New Hampshire's too far a hike for me--I'm down south in the West Roxbury area.

 

Anyhow, I have come to the conclusion I don't want to be cured of my entity. But I'm awfully curious about the sensations I'm feeling right now. I was just wondering if people had experienced that sort of energy flow, I assume not in connection with a thoughtform, but maybe with an actual other person or just internally.

[Taomeow]

I know things are extremely tight for you, that's why I'd say I'd buy. I also assume I'm old enough to be your mom, so from an age perspective I should be doing the buying too. But New Hampshire's too far a hike for me--I'm down south in the West Roxbury area.

 

Anyhow, I have come to the conclusion I don't want to be cured of my entity. But I'm awfully curious about the sensations I'm feeling right now. I was just wondering if people had experienced that sort of energy flow, I assume not in connection with a thoughtform, but maybe with an actual other person or just internally.

I know the feeling if I've recognized it correctly from your description, but it has nothing to do with entities or sex in my case --

when I feel like that, it's a forecast for good times to come. It is connected to breathing and speaks through the lower dantien, the solar plexus, and the heart, but originates in the kidneys actually. It can last anywhere from a few seconds to a few months. Alas, I am also familiar with the opposite feeling which is a warning of impending trouble. For me this has been the most precise fortune-telling mechanism I've ever encountered so far (and I do know several non-sensory systems of divination). I think it is the voice of my yin zhi, which is that part of one's overall fivefold shen ("soul") that more or less corresponds to "the hidden will of your destiny," your unique personal Way.

 

From your description, you might be dealing with its yang counterpart, your yang zhi. This one is more like one's "open and immediate will," desire, or short-term intent. Yang things are on the open, visible, revealed, brought to the surface compared to things yin that are hidden, invisible, ruling in much secrecy from deep inside. So... quite possibly you are dealing with something that is part of your own soul, not an-other being. This is not something to be "cured" from -- it's not a bad thing.

 

In taoist cultivation of the better kind, one might learn to discern one's own inner energies, spirits, but first and foremost organs with much more precision than a non-cultivator who often has to "guess" instead of "know" what or who it is she's dealing with. (Wang Liping teaches some methods for this, by the way, I mean for gradually getting a more and more complete somatosensory and cognitive picture of one's own inner systems, energies, organs and spirits. He says that in modern people their own inner organs, to say nothing of their inner spirits, are sort of lumped together indistinctly so that they routinely can't physically move any of them at will, let alone discern things and forces much finer than the physical organs, let alone control them.)

[witch]

I know the feeling if I've recognized it correctly from your description, but it has nothing to do with entities or sex in my case --

when I feel like that, it's a forecast for good times to come. It is connected to breathing and speaks through the lower dantien, the solar plexus, and the heart, but originates in the kidneys actually. It can last anywhere from a few seconds to a few months. Alas, I am also familiar with the opposite feeling which is a warning of impending trouble. For me this has been the most precise fortune-telling mechanism I've ever encountered so far (and I do know several non-sensory systems of divination). I think it is the voice of my yin zhi, which is that part of one's overall fivefold shen ("soul") that more or less corresponds to "the hidden will of your destiny," your unique personal Way.

 

From your description, you might be dealing with its yang counterpart, your yang zhi. This one is more like one's "open and immediate will," desire, or short-term intent. Yang things are on the open, visible, revealed, brought to the surface compared to things yin that are hidden, invisible, ruling in much secrecy from deep inside. So... quite possibly you are dealing with something that is part of your own soul, not an-other being. This is not something to be "cured" from -- it's not a bad thing.

 

In taoist cultivation of the better kind, one might learn to discern one's own inner energies, spirits, but first and foremost organs with much more precision than a non-cultivator who often has to "guess" instead of "know" what or who it is she's dealing with. (Wang Liping teaches some methods for this, by the way, I mean for gradually getting a more and more complete somatosensory and cognitive picture of one's own inner systems, energies, organs and spirits. He says that in modern people their own inner organs, to say nothing of their inner spirits, are sort of lumped together indistinctly so that they routinely can't physically move any of them at will, let alone discern things and forces much finer than the physical organs, let alone control them.)

 

 

Thank you, Taomeow. That is exactly the sort of response I was looking for. Hmm...so then it is a very good feeling, a pleasant feeling, and perhaps even a fortuitous feeling, but it's not the sort of transcendent experience that makes one feel like one has had all desires satisfied. I'm assuming it's the entity on the other end doing that then.

 

I agree with you about the nature of the entity. Unlike my previous thoughtforms that I very deliberately constructed, this one sprang up out of nowhere, so it must have come from my subconscious. Which means I've fallen in love with myself. O vanity. I content myself with the fact that I did borrow a bit, pilfer, to give the thing some backbone.

 

I'm not sure I want to look this gift horse in the mouth and discern its source. So much of the pleasure of it comes from it feeling so "other" from me. I have mapped out my own internal spirits quite well. I have eight, I won't go so far as to say personalities, but various voices corresponding to the planetary groupings in each sign of my natal chart. I am a babe in the woods when it comes to feeling my internal organs, however, I am realizing due to having pain in my digestive system since I was born. My mother was very modern and not only gave me formula from birth, by necessity since I was adopted, but gave me actual food, and very difficult food when I was far too young, still a newborn. I spent my childhood trying to block the awareness of pain from my body. So the contents of my torso are unexplored territory, aside from my vagina!

 

I am very happily healing my innards now with probiotics, digestive enzymes and staying away from certain foods thanks to your excellent advice.

[Taomeow]

Thank you, Taomeow. That is exactly the sort of response I was looking for. Hmm...so then it is a very good feeling, a pleasant feeling, and perhaps even a fortuitous feeling, but it's not the sort of transcendent experience that makes one feel like one has had all desires satisfied. I'm assuming it's the entity on the other end doing that then.

 

I agree with you about the nature of the entity. Unlike my previous thoughtforms that I very deliberately constructed, this one sprang up out of nowhere, so it must have come from my subconscious. Which means I've fallen in love with myself. O vanity. I content myself with the fact that I did borrow a bit, pilfer, to give the thing some backbone.

 

I'm not sure I want to look this gift horse in the mouth and discern its source. So much of the pleasure of it comes from it feeling so "other" from me. I have mapped out my own internal spirits quite well. I have eight, I won't go so far as to say personalities, but various voices corresponding to the planetary groupings in each sign of my natal chart. I am a babe in the woods when it comes to feeling my internal organs, however, I am realizing due to having pain in my digestive system since I was born. My mother was very modern and not only gave me formula from birth, by necessity since I was adopted, but gave me actual food, and very difficult food when I was far too young, still a newborn. I spent my childhood trying to block the awareness of pain from my body. So the contents of my torso are unexplored territory, aside from my vagina!

 

I am very happily healing my innards now with probiotics, digestive enzymes and staying away from certain foods thanks to your excellent advice.

 

I'm very happy it's working.

 

If you ever feel like exploring upward from the already-explored territory, I think the logical next step is to find out what your uterus thinks, feels and knows. There's a meditation for this -- OK, Dr. Rosita Arvigo, an American doctor of naprapathy, was the student and then assistant of the "last" (according to the way things stood at that time) lineage Mayan healer, Don Elijio Panti. She wrote a cool book about it, and she presently runs a farm in Belize, Ix Chel Farms, and in addition to practicing healing, sells rainforest herbs and meditation tapes. The Uterus is one of her tapes. It is pretty good, though if you decide to order and use it I would re-record a more personalized version without the 'if/then" parts (aimed at the generic woman) which interfere with the guided meditation mode. Dr. Arvigo specializes in female health, and in the Mayan tradition, that starts with the uterus. Don Elijio (who was seeing patients till he was either over or close to one hundred years old as I recall) asserted that modern women overwhelmingly have off-kilter uteri which are both the cause and the effect of many imbalances in their lives and in their physical, emotional, and spiritual health. (One thing, out of many, he attributed this state of affairs to was "shoes on sticks" -- high heels -- that misalign the uterus in relation to other parts of women's anatomy as well as to mother earth... anyway, don't let me ramble.)

[witch]

I'm very happy it's working.

 

If you ever feel like exploring upward from the already-explored territory, I think the logical next step is to find out what your uterus thinks, feels and knows. There's a meditation for this -- OK, Dr. Rosita Arvigo, an American doctor of naprapathy, was the student and then assistant of the "last" (according to the way things stood at that time) lineage Mayan healer, Don Elijio Panti. She wrote a cool book about it, and she presently runs a farm in Belize, Ix Chel Farms, and in addition to practicing healing, sells rainforest herbs and meditation tapes. The Uterus is one of her tapes. It is pretty good, though if you decide to order and use it I would re-record a more personalized version without the 'if/then" parts (aimed at the generic woman) which interfere with the guided meditation mode. Dr. Arvigo specializes in female health, and in the Mayan tradition, that starts with the uterus. Don Elijio (who was seeing patients till he was either over or close to one hundred years old as I recall) asserted that modern women overwhelmingly have off-kilter uteri which are both the cause and the effect of many imbalances in their lives and in their physical, emotional, and spiritual health. (One thing, out of many, he attributed this state of affairs to was "shoes on sticks" -- high heels -- that misalign the uterus in relation to other parts of women's anatomy as well as to mother earth... anyway, don't let me ramble.)

 

I think that probably has to do with hormonal birth control and also the lack of breastfeeding. Breastfeeding causes uterine contractions. The nipples and uterus are directly connected. I will get her book and if I like it I will try the tapes. I will also start focusing on my uterus in the meantime.