Clubs, Social Anxiety and Grounding/Rooting

[Enishi]

As of late I've started wondering to myself whether the anxiety and discomfort I feel in clubs and other crowded social situations is due to my own faults (as some of my friends assert) and lack of grounding, or me being more sensitive to spiritualy toxic atmospheres (something which others might lack).

 

Case in point, I usually go to goth clubs which play industrial music. This is not so much due to a great love of that form of music on my part, as it is many of my friends being into that scene. In addition, I feel more "in my element" at these venues, as I share more interests with the people there than I do those at sports bars.

 

However, on halloween night, the club I went to was absolutely PACKED. Constant, blaring in my ears noise, hundreds of drunk people pushing against me from front to back and side to side. I wasn't all that inebriated either, so I didn't have the alcohol to act as a relaxant. My gf even noticed how anxious I felt.

 

Social situations have gotten better for me ever since I started KAP, but I still can't stand noisy, drunken, over-crowded events like the above. If anything, I feel like my alarm bells are going off MORE than they were before I started KAP.

 

Anyway, at this point I'm left wondering, how much of this is ME? How much of it is just a lack of confidence or rooting? Am I SUPPOSED to enjoy these kinds of environments like everyone else? Will it get better in time as I improve my ability to root? *Throws up hands in frustration*

Edited November 8, 2009 by Enishi

[markern]

Maybe you shouldN\t be there I donT know but I have certainly found myself that being unrooted can create anxiety and that anxiety unroots and that confusing environments can unroot you and create anxiousness and that the more rooted you are initialy the less this will happen. Today I feel more comfortable and cinfident in clubs than most people I think. In large part because I enjoy dancing and I don`t really care that much what others might think of me.

 

If you struggle with being social especially in such venues this mught be something to look at:

 

charismaarts.com a very nice style of pickup and social interaction in general. For the club scene Timmy is supposedly the very best.

[Aetherous]

Make a point to spend more time in those places. Make them your own. Then eventually it won't be a big deal.

[Encephalon]

Even the most pious and spiritually advanced amongst us are allowed to invoke Occam's razor when things get confusing.

 

It states that the simplest of two or more competing theories is preferable and that an explanation for unknown phenomena should first be attempted in terms of what is already known.

 

Or,

 

go for the simplest explanation, my friend. It's almost always the correct one.

 

There was a time when I would have to cross the street in order to avoid oncoming pedestrians from seeing my wretched self. That was right before I quit drinking, back in 1982. We are all wounded, but we can use that experience to help heal others. Sensitivity is a gift (but only after it ceases to be a royal pain in the ass).

[TheSongsofDistantEarth]

I found that as I grew and my spirituality deepened, I had no desire to be in the vibration of loud clubs with usually drunk and mostly superficial people. I stay away, if possible. If I had to go for some reason, I could make the best of it, but any social anxiety I once might have felt would be absent, since I didn't care about the people or the scene anyway. You might be surprised to find that if you stop caring, you will attract a few people who are on the same vibration as you, not really wanting to be there, and you might connect with her, or them.

 

I spent a number of years as a bartender when I was in school, and actually enjoyed that scene once. If you want to 'conquer' that scene and make it yours, perhaps get a part-time job working as a bartender (it ain't hard, and you don't need to go to school for it) and you get to kind of enjoy the scene and the women from a 'meta'-participation. Women come up to you, and it's natural, and you don't feel awkward or have to think of things to say because you're in your 'bartender' role. You'll learn how to relax and make conversation.

Edited November 9, 2009 by TheSongsofDistantEarth

[Encephalon]

I found that as I grew and my spirituality deepened, I had no desire to be in the vibration of loud clubs with usually drunk and mostly superficial people. I stay away, if possible. If I had to go for some reason, I could make the best of it, but any social anxiety I once might have felt would be absent, since I didn't care about the people or the scene anyway. You might be surprised to find that if you stop caring, you will attract a few people who are on the same vibration as you, not really wanting to be there, and you might connect with her, or them.

 

I spent a number of years as a bartender when I was in school, and actually enjoyed that scene once. If you want to 'conquer' that scene and make it yours, perhaps get a part-time job working as a bartender (it ain't hard, and you don't need to go to school for it) and you get to kind of enjoy the scene and the women from a 'meta'-participation.

 

Damn good advice, Song. I was always morbidly intimidated by people bigger than me. Then I became a personal trainer in my 40s and started working in a gym, and guess what? I had a blast and ultimately felt entirely comfortable and confident with people I would've never associated with. When they started greeting me with a handshake I knew I had healed this wound.

[lino]

As of late I've started wondering to myself whether the anxiety and discomfort I feel in clubs and other crowded social situations is due to my own faults (as some of my friends assert) and lack of grounding, or me being more sensitive to spiritualy toxic atmospheres (something which others might lack).

 

 

I don't really believe it is toxic. People go out to be around people so most will be on best behavior or, at least, willing to be civil.

[Enishi]

I don't really believe it is toxic. People go out to be around people so most will be on best behavior or, at least, willing to be civil.

 

That isn't always the case at the club in question. Many of the people who go there are drug addicts or have mental issues.

[lino]

That isn't always the case at the club in question. Many of the people who go there are drug addicts or have mental issues.

 

Keep in mind that you said that you have your own issues too. The less that you focus on somebody else's negative issues and your own negative issues, the more that you de-power those negative issues.

 

Hope that helps

[DalTheJigsaw123]

Your definitely not the only one. I feel quite weak and annoyed when I go to clubs/bars. I seem to feel more comfortable in Lounges.